Not My Fault

Sequel to Population Adjustments. Ivan finds himself further embroiled in the aftermath of the Cunning Plan, rather to his confusion. Written for the Porn Battle prompt: By/Ivan, he doesn’t know how this keeps happening. Porn with Humor, I-3

Pairing(s): By/Ivan

He really didn’t know how this kept happening.

"By," he said, proud of how even his voice was, "we’re not on an assignment, right?"

"Right," By agreed with a lazy smile full of predatory inquiry.

"And we’re not under any kind of surveillance, right?" They had damn well better not be, or he’d… well, he’d think of something.

By made an affirmative sound to this, too, leaning closer.

"So why exactly," Ivan persevered, "am I sitting on your couch with my pants undone?" The sternness of the question was a bit undercut by his gasp as By’s fingers stroked down his length.

"Because it’s fun," By declared with a downright wicked smile. Before Ivan could ask who for, By leaned in all the way and nibbled on his neck and Ivan couldn’t quite stifle the moan as a shiver of heat ran down his spine to jolt between his legs. "See?" By had the evilness to say.

"Dammit, By…" Ivan took a breath, hand clenching in By’s tunic, and it would be nice if he could convince himself that was a prelude to throwing the other man off the couch. "I like women," he managed, a bit plaintively.

"Of course you do." By fingered his cock, smiling agreeably all the while. "But tastes do change as we mature. I mean," he waved his free hand airily, "just look at Lady Alys."

Ivan’s brain short circuited as he attempted frantically not to imagine his mother in relation to any kind of sex whatsoever, a job made harder these days by Illyan, and just thinking that made his eyes cross all over again. By took ungentlemanly advantage of this to straddle Ivan’s lap and wrap a hand firmly around him. And Ivan was a guy, after all, was it his fault if that made his hips rock up and grind against By’s? No, it was not. Not at all.

He would think of a justification later, for his hands to be spread against By’s back, pulling By tight against him, and for the sound he made into By’s mouth.

He would have a harder time explaining the way his hands slid down to cup By’s ass and knead it while By was getting both their clothing out of the way and stroking their cocks together. If he bothered explaining. Maybe he wouldn’t. It felt good, hot and slick, and By was laughing low in his throat, wicked and knowing, the way none of the girls Ivan had ever been with had, well, barring Lady Donna, so maybe it was just a Vorrutyer thing. And, anyway, look how that had ended up…

The rush of pleasure unraveled Ivan’s thoughts.

When he could put words together sensibly again By was handing him a towel and a smirk. Ivan growled at the latter and took the former, cleaning himself up with as much dignity as possible.

By didn’t even bother fastening his pants, and still managed to look collected, which Ivan thought was cosmically unfair. "One of these days I’ll get you to stay the night."

Ivan gave him a dire look. "Don’t even think it."

As By threw back his head and laughed, a tiny voice in the back of Ivan’s head reminded him that By liked challenges quite a lot. Ivan ignored it firmly. It wasn’t his fault that he kept winding up in these situations.

He really didn’t know how it happened.