Feed Them On Your Dreams

The Emperor is dying; Seien talks with both his fathers. Drama with Angst, I-4 (Significant Novel Spoilers)

Don’t You Ever Ask Them Why

Seien sat beside the Emperor’s bed, looking down at his father. The man looked pale and sunken, small in the middle of his crisp sheets and soft blankets. “So. You called your fate to you.”

The Emperor’s mouth quirked at one corner. “It looks that way. Or perhaps the gods think it’s your time and I’m just in the way.”

Seien almost flinched, catching it back at the last moment; that was close enough to the way he often thought of himself, just a placeholder, really, to make his stomach twist with the thought that he and his father were more alike than he’d thought. The Emperor vented a short half-laugh, about as much as his body would allow him by now, and closed his eyes.

“You want to know something,” he stated.

Seien’s fingers tightened around each other; it was true enough, he didn’t come here for any other reason.

And that, in a way, was his question.

“Will you tell me, now,” he said, low, looking down at his clasped hands, “why you didn’t pay more attention to your family?”

The Emperor smiled at the ceiling. “You resent me for that.” It wasn’t a question.

Seien’s anger made his voice a growl. “You spent years and years fighting to reunify the country, to break the power of the great clans until imperial law ruled everywhere again.” His control slipped and he slammed a hand against the wall. “And you almost lost it all just because you ignored what was happening in your own inner courts! Why?!”

The Emperor managed a sigh. “I doubt you’ll understand yet, but all right.” His eyes, already detached, turned still more distant. “There was a woman I loved. Strong and beautiful as the sun. She shared my dreams for our country.” He was silent for a long moment, thin fingers tracing over the covers. “She died for them.” The curve of his mouth had become bitter. “I could barely look at any other woman, after that.”

Seien frowned. He could almost understand that, but… “So you couldn’t care for our mothers. What about us? What about your sons?”

Very quietly, his father said, “You weren’t hers.”

Seien stared for a long moment. “And that’s why you let them build factions and scheme and betray and poison the courts, the city, nearly the whole country?” He took a long breath, trying to settle his roiling stomach, and still couldn’t make his last words come out as more than a harsh rasp. “Did you think your kingdom would be a good funeral offering? Was that it?”

“I did say you probably wouldn’t understand,” the Emperor murmured.

Seien made a disgusted sound.

“I think everyone should be allowed one great foolishness in their lives,” his father added, reflectively.

“Not the Emperor!” Seien snapped, utterly incensed that such selfishness had almost destroyed the peace, the world, of Ryuuki and Shuurei.

At that, his father looked at him directly, smile growing. “Well, perhaps you’ll be able to keep your own foolishness out of how you rule, then.”

“I will.” Seien knew it was probably foolish to tempt fate by saying such a thing, but he was determined that it would be true.

The way his father laughed still made him uncomfortable.

“Take the throne with my blessing, then. My son.” The Emperor reached out, and the weight of years and empire poised over Seien’s shoulders pressed him down to his knees to accept it.

And Know They Love You

Seien sat on a stone, under the bare branches of an inner court garden, and drew up his knees to rest his forehead on them. A bit of damp chill struck up from the stone, through the rough cloth of his robes.

The rites were over; the funeral procession was complete. Tomorrow, everyone would call him Emperor. Tonight, he desperately wanted a shred of quiet in which to catch his breath and brace himself.

The rustle of footsteps nearby almost made him whimper.

“Seiran.”

Warm relief washed over him, and he lifted his head. “Shouka-sama.” And then he had to pause, startled. Shouka-sama was barely visible against the tree trunks, in the dusk, all in snug black, rather than mourning.

“There are things you have not been told about how the previous Emperor reigned.” Like his figure, Shouka-sama’s voice nearly disappeared into the breeze through the garden. “I would like to tell you, now that I can.”

Seien was quiet for a moment. Shouka-sama could only have come here dressed like this to let Seiran know, without words, just what tales he wished to tell. To let Seiran deny it, if he wished.

Part of him did wish, but most of him was wary enough to want to know everything; he might need it.

“Tell me.”

“I came to the capital when I was ten, because the Emperor looked on my clan with disfavor, to see if there was any way to save them. That was when I joined the Wolves. A year later I was given my first target: my great-grandmother.”

Seien started, eyes wide and shocked. Even with everything he knew, he had not expected that.

The soft voice wound on through the sounds of rustling branches. “That was the price of my clan’s survival—the life of its true leader. The one person bright and strong enough to challenge the country’s ruler.”

Seien shuddered. Even through his chill sickness, though, ran a thread of hot fury that the Emperor had failed to apply that ruthlessness to his own family. How had he dared become so hard and then fail?

He listened, in the growing darkness, to Shouka-sama’s list of bloody tasks he’d done in the Emperor’s name. Finally it fell silent and Seien unwound from the rock and reached to catch his foster-father’s hands.

“Thank you.” He pressed those hands to his lips, brief and hard. “For doing it. For stopping it.” He looked up, meeting Shouka-sama’s burning eyes. “For telling me.”

“You are the Emperor, now,” Shouka-sama said quietly.

Seien stilled, caught by the things Shouka-sama wasn’t saying—the offer he didn’t quite speak aloud. His foster-father gave him a tiny smile, agreeing that Seiran heard the silence correctly.

“Shouka-sama…” Seiran’s voice shook. If he asked, he would be spared more blood on his hands. Shouka-sama would soak his own in still more, to save him from that.

“You’re family, too,” Shouka-sama told him gently.

Seiran closed his eyes, and let the dark quiet of the evening wrap back around them, letting himself rest in his living father’s protection.

Tomorrow would be time enough to walk back into the light.

End

A/N: The story and section titles are taken from the lyrics of “Teach Your Children”, by Graham Nash.

Last Modified: Sep 26, 08
Posted: Feb 27, 07
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19 Comments

  1. sparrow-wings

    “Don’t You Ever Ask Them Why” — … I’m with Seien on this one: Senka’s an asshole.

    Although, in canon-continuity, Senka didn’t entirely succeed, did he? If the Kou family could still halt the country on behalf of Reishin and Shuurei, and the Ran family could have propped it up indefinitely (if they wanted to).

    “And Know They Love You” — I like the sense of ceremony you’ve created here, the implication that Shouka and Seien’s relations have become more adult, but not less loving.

    Reply
    1. branchandroot Post author

      Thank you!

      *wry* Senka is definitely a fine example of the old Legalist philosophy, that’s for darn sure.

      And Shouka’s sacrifice, along with his grandmother’s, does seem to have bought the Kou that much, at least; not all their power was broken, and once there was peace they worked a good deal of influence back up. The Ran I’m still wondering about. *wants more canon clues very badly*

      I heart Shouka so very much. Honestly, I think he’s the only reason Seien will be a good Emperor.

      Reply
      1. sparrow-wings

        I haven’t any idea about the Ran. I think in the anime Shuuei said they prefer to stay out of active politics? Not that Shou and Senka would have been fooled by that. Maybe it had something to do with their intelligence networks, or maybe their leader just wasn’t that much of a threat.

        Honestly, I think he’s the only reason Seien will be a good Emperor. As opposed to one entirely focussed on Shuurei and Ryuuki, do you mean? I do think he needs an authority figure he respects, and not just servants, people to protect, and the elder statesmen.

        Oh, I meant to ask — has Shoukun died by now? I mean, I assume so, since she hasn’t shown up after “Peaches and Thorns”, but I can’t recall anyone mentioning it.

        Reply
        1. branchandroot Post author

          *nods* Shoukun died on schedule. Since we know so very little about her I haven’t written it in as a story; that may be something I can go back and fill in later.

          Reply
  2. lady-readwolf

    I feel rather bummed after reading this… To completely ignore your other kids… [shakes head disgustedly] To try and fix up the country but completely ignore what’s going on at home…

    But Shouka. ^__^ Shouka’s pretty cool, isn’t he? I remember reading or seeing something about him and his grandmother… but I can’t quit recall what it was. Is that what you’re pulling from here? Wasn’t it some skill he was able to do that only she could do, something that made him destined not to be a fit family head for the Kou?

    So, that’s it, is it? the old emperor’s dead, the new one’s about to take his proper place. [exhales] I get the strangest feeling that a lotta shit’s about to be flying….

    Reply
    1. branchandroot Post author

      Senka was rather an idiot, and Shouka is /totally/ cool! *loves on him*

      One of the recent side stories dealt with Shouka’s background. The deal seems to have been that he had to kill his granny himself, or else the Emperor would do it and take anyone else who got in the way, too. *shudders*

      *grins* Definitely a lotta shit flying. But it will probably build up slowly.

      Reply
        1. branchandroot Post author

          Yeah, one of the fairly recent ones, if I recall correctly. *sighs* I /really/ want better functions for annotating memories; it would make it so much easier to keep track of these things.

          Reply
  3. grey-damaskena

    Ah, happiness, more AU! And more Senka, although disappointing that we won’t be seeing more of him. What you’ve revealed of his past is quite intriguing. Really, one of my favorite things about Saiunkoku is the feeling that everyone has a story, just as fascinating as the ones currently going on. You’ve cashed in on that nicely here, and expanded it a little, though I find myself more curious than ever.

    Seien’s learning some hard lessons this time around, but hopefully this will serve to cement his dedication as Emperor. I don’t imagine the recitation of Shouka’s deeds was easy for either of them . . . and now on the eve of his ascension Seien knows some of the uglier aspects of rule. Which hopefully he’ll be able to avoid . . . being a laid-back librarian, teacher, and father certainly suits Shouka best. 🙂

    Reply
    1. branchandroot Post author

      Thank you!

      I’m kind of fascinated by Senka; he seems to have changed a lot between his young days and the time when his kids started being born. But all we get are hints and implications.

      *pets Seien* Yeah, I think he may have added to “protect the kids” a certain amount of “and don’t screw up like the last one!”. I don’t think he would let Shouka kill for him, though. *wry* If only because, once his blood is up, he’d rather do it for himself.

      Reply
  4. majochan

    The only good thing about having the net die on me for two days is that after pirating someone else’s wireless, I have TWO ficcies to read instead of one!

    Much ouchness in the good way, and many hugs for Seien and Shouka.

    *hearts and squees*

    Majo

    Reply
    1. branchandroot Post author

      Ack! I hope your net recovers; it always makes me horribly twitchy when I don’t have my connection.

      Very ouch, but that’s what our Seien has his better dad for. And a good thing, too!

      Thank you!

      Reply
  5. zyxinn

    O_O;;

    owww, my heart.

    Senka was sooooooo harsh! poor seien!!!!!!!

    &&secondly: no ryuuki in this one~ (is sad)

    mmmk. fic!love though. total fic!love~

    Reply
  6. mitsuhachi@insanejournal

    I. I’m not entirely sure I get all the nuances of Seiran’s and Shouka’s conversation there at the end. Like, I can feel the shape of it in their conversation, but I don’t know. …But I kind of like that, too. It fits them, fits the moment.

    And I think the emperor’s thing about his woman is romantic.

    Reply
    1. Icon for BranchBranch Post author

      Mostly just that Shouka is willing to still be the Emperor’s Assassin, no matter how much he hates it, and take the responsibility for that killing on his own hands to spare Seien. *wry* In the plot-book in my head, there comes a time when Seien is mightily tempted by that. Fortunately, I think Ensei is there to stop him by then.

      Reply