Darkness.

Stifling darkness and the almost-silence that meant there was no one near him, no one with him, but people nevertheless. People beyond his reach, walking around out in the light, forgetting him, leaving him.

“Haa!” Ryuuki started up with a harsh gasp, eyes wide trying to see something other than darkness.

And there was light.

Light and warm, strong hands on his shoulders.

“Majesty, wake up, it’s all right.” Seien was sitting on the edge of the bed, calling him, eyes dark with worry. A tiny lamp was lit, glowing just beyond the curtains.

Tension washed out of him so fast it left him shaking. “Aniue.” Here, with the darkness pressing so close, Ryuuki didn’t want to hold back or bite his lip and bear it all. He kicked away the tangle of his covers and burrowed into his brother’s chest. Seien caught him with a soft, rueful sigh.

“All right, Ryuuki.” The usual, maddening formality dropped from Seien’s voice and he leaned back against the alcove wall and gathered Ryuuki close.

Ryuuki had to blink back wetness from his eyes, shivering a little with relief that Seien would be Seien for him, tonight, and hold him until the fear went away. He crept a little closer, almost into his brother’s lap and sighed as a strong, comforting hand petted his hair. Cold years melted away and left just the two of them, and the warm assurance of his brother’s touch.

“You should have someone stay with you, since she has other work, now,” Seien murmured. “Not those girls you spend time with, either,” he added, in a sharper tone. “Someone you can trust.”

“They did keep my secret,” Ryuuki offered, blushing a little with the pleasure of hearing that protective edge in his brother’s voice.

Seien tapped Ryuuki’s nose with a finger. “If they were interested in helping you, they’d have told you a little more about women and you wouldn’t keep making yourself so foolish in front of Shuurei.”

Ryuuki was blushing for real, now, half with embarrassment and half with sneaking enjoyment of Seien scolding him properly, the way an older brother should. “Oh.” He curled up against his brother’s shoulder, pensive. “I wish it could be you. I wish…” old pain and newer knowledge tangled in his heart and mind and he closed his eyes and whispered. “I wish it could have been you all along; instead of them.”

Seien’s hand on his hair stilled. “Ryuuki?”

Ryuuki looked up at the brilliant, beautiful older brother who had been first and only in his heart for so long. “You would have shown me. It would all have been right, with you.” It would have been safe and right and good, and not a string of masks the way it had been with all the other men and women in his bed.

After a long moment, Seien’s eyes softened and his palm cupped Ryuuki’s cheek, thumb stroking gently over his cheekbone. Ryuuki’s eyes widened.

“Seien-aniue?” Hesitantly, not sure he was reading that softness right, he reached up and touched Seien’s lips with his fingertips. “You… Would you?”

Seien looked down at him for a long breath, eyes dark, before he lifted Ryuuki’s chin and kissed him slowly. “If it’s what you want, Ryuuki,” he murmured against Ryuuki’s mouth.

Ryuuki relaxed against Seien’s chest, lightheaded with the feeling of being held and touched by the one person he knew, knew without a second’s question, he could trust absolutely. His voice shook a little with it. “Please.”

Seien’s arm tightened around him in answer, and his fingers threaded into Ryuuki’s hair, tipping his head back to deepen the kiss. A soft, wanting sound caught in Ryuuki’s throat as he opened his mouth for Seien. It was so good to be sheltered by this strength again. And Seien understood that, the way he understood everything, Ryuuki knew he did, because he held Ryuuki firm and close even as his other hand eased Ryuuki’s robe down his shoulder and Seien’s mouth moved down Ryuuki’s throat and over the bared skin. Heat threaded through him. “Ohhh…”

“Easy,” Seien murmured in his ear. “Ryuuki.”

Ryuuki shivered with the quick cascade of sensation as Seien brushed the robe off his other shoulder and it slid down to tangle softly around his arms, and the coolness of Ryuuki’s hair swept over his bare back in contrast to the warm strength of Seien’s hand sliding up it. “Seien-aniue,” he whispered, his own hands spreading against Seien’s chest.

Having cloth under his hands was starting to be annoying.

He looked up at Seien, pouting a bit just for effect, and tugged on the shirt. “Seien-aniue…”

Seien laughed, low and husky, and the sound was enough to make Ryuuki’s breath go a little faster. “You want to touch?” Seien set Ryuuki back a little and slid out of bed to stand beside it, smiling. Ryuuki’s lips parted soundlessly as sky-bright eyes captured and held him while Seien stripped off his clothes, not really hurrying about it. Ryuuki’s mouth was dry; the tiny quirk of his brother’s lips made his stomach do strange things. He reached out as Seien slid back onto the bed, wanting to follow the sweep of all that sleek, powerful muscle with his fingers. Seien gathered him back up, and this time his kiss turned Ryuuki’s bones to water. Ryuuki was perfectly happy to melt against Seien’s chest, now bare and warm, and let his brother take his mouth, one slow, wet kiss at a time.

“You’re warm,” Seien murmured to him. Ryuuki made an agreeing sound against Seien’s lips and then a more breathless one as Seien’s fingers slid down his back, under the robe still draped off Ryuuki’s arms, and between his cheeks. His brother’s lips curved.

“Oh… Seien-aniue…” Ryuuki let his head fall to Seien’s shoulder, panting softly against his brother’s neck as Seien’s fingers stroked him slow and gentle. It was really going to happen; Seien-aniue was really going to let him be this close.

“Ryuuki?” Seien’s tongue slid over Ryuuki’s ear making him shiver. “We need something…”

It took Ryuuki a few moments to gather his wits enough to point at one of the tiny alcoves behind the bed curtains. “The blue jar.”

Seien’s fingers pressed into him, slick and slow, and his breath turned into gasps; he was glad for the solidity of Seien’s shoulders under his hands, because he needed something to hold onto while his body stretched hot and open. Seien touched him gently until Ryuuki was draped against him, panting.

“Ready?” Seien finally asked, voice low but somehow not soft.

Ryuuki looked up at his brother, flushed, hearing a layer of darkness in his brother’s voice, deeper than he’d ever heard it while they were both children. This was Seien grown and fiercer, stronger—strong enough to hold and shelter even the Emperor, and that thought made his breath catch. Even he could hear the yearning in his voice when he whispered “Yes.”

Seien drew him closer, until Ryuuki was pressed against him, legs spread over his lap. Ryuuki shivered a little as Seien’s hands swept down his back, firm and slow, over his rear and down his thighs, pulling him closer still. It was exactly what he wanted. Seien’s lips moved down Ryuuki’s throat as his hands gripped Ryuuki’s rear and tilted his hips up until Ryuuki laughed and had to clasp his hands behind Seien’s neck to keep from falling backwards. The feeling of Seien’s mouth curving against his skin made heat curl in Ryuuki’s stomach.

“We could just lie down,” he suggested, breathless.

“Mm. I want to hold you, though.” Seien lifted his head to smile at Ryuuki, and Ryuuki softened helplessly in the warmth of it. In his brother’s arms was definitely one of the best possible places to be.

Seien shifted against him and Ryuuki stopped thinking and just felt as Seien pushed into him, slow and hard, hard enough to leave him gasping as his brother slid inside.

“Aniue!”

Seien’s hands moved up his back, strong and gentle, palms stroking and soothing. “All right?”

Ryuuki relaxed into the support of his brother’s hands, moaning. “Oh yes. Aniue…” It was so good to feel Seien this close, so right to be held this gently, this powerfully. Seien rocked against him and Ryuuki let himself go into the heat of his brother moving inside him.

Threads of memory twined themselves around the rush of sensation as Seien took him, so slow and sure: the straight stillness of his brother, standing beside the water; the sudden brilliance of his smile and the quick, warm pleasure, in Ryuuki’s chest, of having that smile shown to him—only to him; the way Seien’s swift, fierce grace with a sword could set Ryuuki trembling; the sweetness of his brother’s hand on his hair as he was folded into the safety of his brother’s arms.

With that last memory, past and present met and ran into each other, and the feeling of Seien’s fingers running through Ryuuki’s hair made him cry out, body drawing taut in his brother’s arms. Another thrust, strong and deep, and pleasure spilled over. Shudders of heat raked through Ryuuki’s body, and the low, rough sound of his brother’s voice, calling his name, made him so breathless with the joy of it all that he had to laugh.

The strength of Seien’s arms, drawing him in tighter, and the force of Seien’s last thrusts, were soothing. He was safe and cared for and held by the one person he knew loved him. He could relax.

For a while they just leaned against each other, breathing deep and slow, and Ryuuki thought he might never stop smiling. When his brother finally laid him back down against the sheets, Seien was smiling too.

“Think you can sleep now?” Seien asked, petting back Ryuuki’s hair.

“Yes.” The bubble of happiness in Ryuuki’s chest made him feel warm and peaceful. He reached up to touch Seien’s cheek. “Will you stay with me?” he begged.

Seien sighed, but he was still smiling as he placed a soft kiss on Ryuuki’s forehead. “Yes. I’ll stay the night.” He settled down beside Ryuuki and tucked him snuggly into the curve of Seien’s body. “Sleep, Ryuuki.”

Ryuuki obediently closed his eyes. “Yes, Aniue.”

Tonight, he was sure, his dreams would be good.

End