Yue felt with his other self. He felt the warmth and satisfaction Yukito felt at lying snugly in Touya’s arms, felt the bright bubble of Yukito’s amusement as Touya tried to reach the lamp without letting go, even almost felt the soft pressure of Touya’s mouth against his.

But only almost, because feeling that warmth himself had sent him sinking down again, frightened by his own response, letting Yukito, who had practice with this and no loss weighing his memory, be the one to answer.

Even the echo of Touya’s weight and warmth settling over them made him gasp, and Yukito’s soft laugh was at him this time. His other self didn’t see why they both shouldn’t have what they wanted. He conveyed, at every opportunity, the idea that Yue obviously wanted to be with Touya.

He did. Oh, he did. But the fear wouldn’t leave him, not even with Touya’s promise. If Yue had to admit what he wanted, finally, he wanted to be with Touya, not just his ghost! If only Touya weren’t mortal. If only Yue weren’t immortal. If only he could cling to Touya’s warmth wherever it went, even out of this world. If only Yue had Clow’s power to change what he was. He closed immaterial eyes and sighed, retreating a little further from the sweetness of Touya’s hands against Yukito’s skin.

"…last night before we stay over with family," Touya’s words drifted down to him like snow, low and amused and suggestive, the way he could hear them himself if only…

"Were you thinking that should make a difference?" Yukito asked, mischief nearly sparkling.

"We’ll be in Eriol’s house, Yuki! Ruby Moon would probably try to watch!"

Yue frowned into nothingness at the thought. Ruby Moon had no right. Eriol should see to the manners of his current creations, even if, Yue had to privately admit, he had no history of doing so as Clow.

As Clow…

Yue’s eyes widened on interior darkness as Yukito’s closed on the lamp’s glow above and his lips curved under Touya’s.

Family gatherings were always pretty lively. With three magicians, four magic creatures and a ghost, Touya supposed they couldn’t be anything else, and he was pretty used to it by now.

"Kero-chan! Wait until you’re out of the car to change!" Sakura glared at the full-sized creature stuck half in and half out of their car.

"But I smell pudding!" Keroberos protested, rustling his stuck wings and flailing his paws.

Yuki had a hand over his mouth to stifle his laughing at the sight of Sakura pulling on her idiot sun-tiger’s paws while her husband pushed from inside the car. Touya didn’t take the time out to laugh. He had to admit, it was funny, but any minute now…

"Ah! And you brought snacks for me, too!" Ruby Moon bounced down the front steps and latched on to Touya’s arm. He rolled his eyes. Ruby never got tired of that joke.

A large, white wing cut abruptly between them.

Touya backed up until he no longer had a faceful of shining feathers, spitting out a stray curl of fluff. Sure enough, Yue was standing beside him now, glaring icy death at Ruby Moon.

Ruby pouted. "You’re so stingy, Yue. He has magic again, now; don’t you know it’s nice to share?"

Yue’s palm started to glow with ice crystals and Touya sighed. This was why Ruby never got tired of the joke, he was sure. He slipped around the wing still extended in front of him and laid a hand, gently, on Yue’s wrist. When Yue relaxed a hair, and Touya was sure there wasn’t going to be any immediate destruction, he shook his head at Ruby Moon. "Since you have someone to feed you a lot more then enough, isn’t it greedy to ask for snacks from other people?"

Ruby laughed. "Oh all right."

Yue glowered some more as Ruby skipped back up the stairs to lean on Eriol’s shoulder; Keroberos finally emerged from the car with a muffled squawk from Sakura, who he landed on; and their mother appeared, perched on a gate post, waving as their father’s car pulled up. Touya snorted a helpless laugh.

Just another family party.

Lunch was finished, Yuki had helped Keroberos decimate dessert, Sakura was whispering in a corner with Kaho while Li looked uncomfortable, and Yue was walking off down one of the mansion’s corridors with Eriol. Most of these things were not cause for alarm, but Touya had gotten increasingly edgy about just how much of Clow Eriol still was, and exactly what had happened between Clow and Yue.

Touya slipped after them.

It wasn’t that he intended to eavesdrop or anything like that. It was just that Yue always seemed to be ruffled after he talked with Eriol, and this time Touya wanted to know why. Yue wasn’t easy to soothe under the best of circumstances, and when he was ruffled he withdrew all over again, Yuki was uncomfortable, and Sakura worried. Touya watched as Eriol ushered Yue into one of the sitting rooms and settled against the wall, in the shadows across from the open door.

"What was it you wished to discuss?" Eriol asked, settling onto a small, brocaded couch by the long windows, in clear view of the door. Touya had his suspicions right then, but stayed still and quiet. Just in case Eriol didn’t know he was there.

Yue didn’t settle. He actually paced a few turns through the room. "I don’t want to go on," he said, low voice huskier than usual.

Eriol’s eyes narrowed for a moment. "Go on?"

Yue folded his arms tightly. "When Clow died, I went on. I didn’t know how to do anything else. But things that live don’t go on forever." He gave Eriol a brief, silver glare. "Clow didn’t." After a silent moment he continued. "I don’t want to go on again. I don’t want to sleep and be cold and wait, and know I have to lose again." He turned to face Eriol full on, wings flaring out. "When Touya leaves this life… tell me how to follow him."

Touya had to grip the wall to stay standing. He’d known that the time before Sakura had been bad, but this…! It took him a moment to recognize the amusement in Eriol’s raised brows, and then he had to stifle a furious growl.

"Even after years of practice, it’s still strange to be surprised." Eriol smiled and leaned back in the cushions. "I was going to speak to you about this today, to warn you." Dark eyes were kind, in a distant sort of way. "Unless you put a good deal of effort into stopping it, you’re going to pass away when Touya does, already."

Yue looked as stunned as Touya felt. "I am?"

Eriol shrugged. "You accepted the gift of his magic, to support you, years ago, until your Master could do so. To be honest, I had expected him to recover more of it by now. I believe the reason he hasn’t is that you are still bound to his magic for your life, rather than taking it from Sakura-san, even now that she’s grown strong enough."

"But…" Yue stammered, "he is recovering now. I thought… "

"He is," Eriol agreed gently. "But too slowly. He should have regained more of his strength by now. Unless he were still giving it to you."

"Oh." Yue was quiet for a moment. When he spoke his voice was steady. "So I will go with him?"

"Yes."

Yue nodded. "Thank you for telling me." Wings flashed in the glass doors to the garden, and he was gone.

After a moment, Eriol added to the air. "I meant to talk to you about it, too, of course. It still amazes me, sometimes, how things work out."

Touya finally shook himself and pushed away from the wall. "Without interference, you mean?" he asked as he crossed the room to the wide garden doors. The jibe was absent, though. He was thinking about Yue, not Eriol, or even Clow.

He found Yue out by a clump of birch trees, looking up at the moon. Yue’s arms were loose at his sides and he was smiling. Not the quick, furtive smile that came when he had been surprised by some good thought or happening, but the clear, steady smile of someone who was happy. The contrast made Touya’s chest tight. "Yue."

Yue turned and Touya didn’t think it was only the moonlight that made his eyes bright. "Touya." For once, Yue’s voice was not merely low, but soft. Touya was stunned wordless by the fact that the promise of being able to stay with him could make Yue so happy, so at ease. It was finally crystal clear to him what Yue’s reserve really meant. It had been unspeakable fear of being happy only to lose it all. He crossed the clearing in two quick strides and gathered Yue close.

He didn’t often touch Yue without some invitation; Yue’s usual coolness didn’t make it easy, and his flusterment at other times made Touya go slowly. But seeing that cool eased, seeing what Yue could be, should be, made Touya…

Well, it made him blazingly mad at Clow Reed, for one thing.

"I didn’t realize how bad it was," he said quietly. "I’m sorry."

Yue’s hands closed on his upper arms and he leaned back far enough to blink at Touya. "You didn’t… Oh." Bright eyes slid aside. "You… heard?"

"Yeah."

Yue looked at him levelly, some of his usual reserve folding back around him. "Do you mind? That your magic won’t completely recover?"

Touya snorted. "Of course I don’t mind. I can see Kaa-san again, what else would I need it for?" He laid a hand lightly on Yue’s back between his wings. "I… would rather you could be happy living on. But if you can’t be," he shrugged and smiled, "living my life with you is what I want to do. Doing the next bit together will be good too."

Yue tucked his chin down a bit, smile sneaking back. Touya brushed his thumb over the unaccustomed curve of Yue’s lips, and felt a little rush of warmth that Yue let him without flinching. "Tell you what," he said, a little teasing, "why don’t we go back in. And we can tell Ruby Moon that I’m yours for good and there’s no snacking allowed, ever."

A gleam lit Yue’s eye. "Hm."

Yeah, Touya had thought that idea would appeal to Yue. "Come on."

He left his hand resting on Yue’s back as they turned toward the lighted windows, and Yue’s feathers brushed delicately over it.

Yue could feel Yukito with him, feel Yukito’s unrestrained approval of how good it felt to rest in the circle of Touya’s arm as he leaned back against the window, and had to stifle a perfectly silly urge to blush.

Though perhaps it got away from him just a little when Touya, who seemed to have all his attention on the game of cards his sister was playing with Kaho, Spinel and Keroberos, eased him gently closer. If anyone asked, Yue was fairly sure Touya would explain he was only doing it for the sake of putting a permanent stop to Ruby Moon’s jokes. Sometimes he thought Touya had spent too much time with his other self, to learn that kind of innocent excuse making.

Still, it did feel very good. And if Keroberos cocked a knowing and affectionate ear at him more often than usual, and Sakura smiled like sunrise whenever she looked at him, and Eriol looked amused by the whole thing… well, perhaps that was all right. Perhaps it was all right to feel this happiness, to cherish it even.

This time, it would not be taken from him.

End