These are things that never happened to Xanxus, but could have done, if only things had started out just a bit differently. This fic is what happens when you say to yourself, “Gosh, I’ve been writing a lot of Xanxus angst lately. I wonder if it is possible to write Xanxus in such a way that he is, well, functionally broken instead of just psychopathically insane.” And then you get tackled by a plot bunny that is the size of a goddamn linebacker. Teen and up; warnings for Xanxus doing the things that make him Xanxus.
Xanxus stared up at the old geezer—this smiling old fool was supposed to be the Vongola Ninth? please—and lifted a hand to show him the Flame when he asked for it.
In which Federico teaches his brother a lesson about the importance of controlling one’s temper. For Round III of khrfest, prompt II-62. Xanxus — Anger Management; “He who angers you conquers you.”. General audiences.
The heir to the Vongola would never do anything so crass as eavesdrop, not least because the Vongola had people for that. But, as Federico told himself, if he happened to be in the right place at the right time he could hardly help what he overheard, could he?
A spin-off from Lys ap Adin’s AU "Five Things that Never Happened to Xanxus" (read that first). What if Federico had lived and Squalo’s duel with Tyr had happened on schedule? What would happen then? And how would Tsuna come into it? Drama with Occasional Romance, I-4
Promotion, in the Varia, happened when a squad leader decided it was about time, or else when the person wanting promotion decided it was about time. The two usually balanced out. The question of who would lead the Varia, though, wasn’t left up to anyone but the one who led already and the one who wanted to.
In the universe where Federico survives, Byakuran is still a problem ten years later. This time, it’s someone else who dies to send Tsuna and Xanxus against the Millefiore. Drama with Angst, I-4
Sunlight fell gracefully through stained glass and into the open coffin.
Fedele had known it was going to be hard. It couldn’t be any other way when the Vongola’s Boss had been killed—not killed, the back of his mind whispered, clinging to that but he couldn’t let it show or it would all go for nothing—killed by an ambush no one had seen coming. He had forbidden anyone to tell Federico’s wife or son, saying it was for their own safety in hiding, which was true enough. But the fury and pain in the eyes of the other Guardians, the stripped, blank looks on the faces of the two kneeling by Federico’s coffin, sliced his heart like a knife.
What if Squalo had been taken in by the Vongola earlier, and met Xanxus much sooner? What change would that have made in both of them? Drama, I-3
In the end it all came down to Xanxus, Rafaele decided later. He didn’t normally pay much attention to the mafia children until they were old enough to seek a real position. As both Gianni and Maria were wont to say, each in his or her own way, they had their fellow Guardians to satisfy any such urges. But having Xanxus running around the main house like a kid-shaped bomb, ready to go off at any second, would make anyone a little more alert. So when Tyr mentioned, after the sparring session when they were both wrapping their various cuts and bruises, that there was a promising new swordsman coming along among the children, Rafaele listened.
Squalo bonds with Xanxus, and none too soon as Xanxus finds out some things the Ninth had kept from him. Drama with Angst and Sort-of Romance, I-4
Squalo strolled around the edges of the wedding crowd beside Xanxus, keeping an eye out for any unattended cake they could nail down. He didn’t have all that much of a sweet tooth personally, but it was a way of keeping score among the kids. After all, twelve year olds couldn’t rack up kills yet, or negotiations concluded in their Family’s favor.
Squalo is growing into his place at Xanxus’ side, and starting to look around them for some support. Drama, I-3
“And that’s another thing.” Xanxus crossed his arms, glass dangling from his fingers. “The old men run on about how my Guardians are supposed to be the ones closest to me, but I don’t have people close to me!” He glanced at Squalo. “Not besides you.”
“Well, you know who your Rain will be, then.” Squalo smiled at his boss’ irate grunt. “Don’t worry so much. The more you have to do with the rest of the Family, the more chances to meet the ones you need.”
Just when things might be settling down, Mukuro appears, targeting the Vongola’s heir. Drama, Action, I-4
Seven months and sixteen days—he’d counted—after Reborn started shadowing them with his measuring looks and annoying observations, Xanxus walked into the old man’s office to find both Reborn and Sawada already there.
Xanxus and his people take up their place in the Family. Drama, I-3
Xanxus made a grumpy sound and slouched down a little further into his chair. Rafaele was quite willing to admit that Xanxus had come a long way since the day Squalo had walked into his life and turned it on its side, but he could still beat any five year old for marathon sulking. And wasn’t it just typical that he was sulking because he hadn’t personally gotten to tear Rokudou to bits? Timoteo was right; it was high time Xanxus learned that it didn’t matter who did it as long as it got done.
Part of the Sugar and Spice arc of Choice. Xanxus doesn’t like the way most mafia men drool, but she does like the way Squalo approaches her. Written for the Porn Battle prompt: Xanxus/Squalo, genderswap. Porn with Characterization, I-4
It wasn’t unusual for Xanxus to storm into her office, possibly destroying things in her path depending on how much of a snit she was in, but today her lips were tighter than usual and her glare was sharper. Squalo took his feet off the table, getting ready to move if he had to, and tossed the file on the latest Leone sprig aside. “Something up, Boss?”
Xanxus likes being on top. Adult! Part of the Fem!Xanxus branch of Choice. Genderswap, pegging, overtones of D/s. Filthy, filthy smut. Like, seriously, I think this is the porniest thing I’ve written to date.
Squalo’s eyes felt like they were about to pop out of their sockets. “Oh sweet Jesus, Boss,” he said, staring.
Xanxus’ lips peeled back from her teeth. “Yes?” She leaned back on her elbows, mother-naked. “Was there something you wanted to say?” Her eyes glittered beneath her lashes, practically daring him to object.
Squalo is Xanxus’ man, which means he’ll let her do whatever she wants with him. Adult for smut, light bondage, breathplay, and intimations of D/s. Part of the girl!Xanxus branch of Choice.
Squalo wasn’t a fan of letting his boss go off to dinners at the main house all by herself—not because she couldn’t take care of herself, far from it, but because sometimes she didn’t take care of herself out of some perverse stubbornness of her own, and he hated watching that happen. Not that he really thought the old man or his sons meant badly, not really, but it was God’s own truth that neither Enrico nor Massimo or even the old man really understood Xanxus. They just didn’t get the fire or the strength of her and kept trying to shape her into something she wasn’t while they called it love.
There are far worse ways to die than this. For Porn Battle XI, prompt Xanxus/Squalo, genderswap, possession, voyeurism. Part of the Fem!Xanxus part of Choice.
It ended the way sparring with Xanxus generally did: the room was a smoking ruin and Squalo was on his knees for her, out of breath and holding still because there was a warm muzzle resting between his eyebrows. And, of course, he was hard, but that was normal when it came to sparring, too.