Crown Fire

One

Rei was dreaming.

He was aware he was dreaming.

It just didn’t help.

Every step Gin took, his vicious smile as he walked past the man bound to a chair in the middle of the room, had the weight of inevitability.

“You’ve been waiting for this, haven’t you?”

The words flickered, not really words even, just the impression of them, but the grip of the gun Gin held out was heavy and true.

Shuuichi raised his head, and even under a slick of blood, his eyes were calm and level as he looked up at Rei from the chair.

“Yes, I have,” Rei answered. He took the gun. There was no way not to take the gun. Under Gin’s shark-smile, he lifted it, took slow, careful aim, every movement flowing naturally and unstoppably into the next.

Pulled the trigger.

Ahh…!

Rei bolted upright in bed, hauling in air desperately past the tightness in his lungs, his throat. He scrubbed his hands over his face, feeling them start to shake as the dream followed him up into waking and he felt the heavy inevitability try to settle back over his shoulders.

“Rei?”

He flinched and looked over. Shuuichi was leaning up on one elbow, rubbing sleep from his own eyes as the blanket slipped down off broad shoulders. Those eyes sharpened when Rei shuddered at the sound of his voice. “Nightmare?”

Rei swallowed hard against the sick twist in his stomach. “Just a dream,” he managed, husky, aiming the words more at himself than at Shuuichi. Just a dream, not real, not happening, not going to happen.

When Shuuichi reached out to tug Rei back down against his shoulder, though, Rei couldn’t help the desperate tightness of his arms around Shuuichi’s ribs.

“Ah.” Shuuichi slid a hand up into Rei’s hair, holding him closer. “I’m right here,” he said quietly. “Alive and everything.”

Rei swallowed down a laugh, afraid it would come out too tellingly high and harsh. “Just…” he snatched in another breath and forced his voice level. “Just don’t get caught.” It still came out urgent and demanding.

Shuuichi was still for a breath, and then he pulled Rei closer and rolled them to settle his weight solidly over Rei. When Rei looked up at him, Shuuichi’s eyes caught his, fierce and intent. “I promise you. It will never be by your hand.”

That stilled the quick, thin pull of Rei’s breath for a moment. It wasn’t what he had asked, but then, what he’d asked wasn’t a promise that anyone could be sure of, in their work. What Shuuichi had actually said… that might be. That promise made the tightness in his throat ease, but suddenly his eyes were wet. He buried his head in Shuuichi’s shoulder, pressing closer.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t ask…” How did he have any right to ask for what he’d raged at thinking Akai might have asked from Hiro?

“There are no ‘should’s, for us,” Shuuichi said, soft and steady over Rei’s ragged words, fingers sliding slowly through his hair. “Only what can be done. Of the two of us, I’m the one who can make this promise, right now. So I do.”

That simple, bedrock certainty shook Rei all the way down to the heart, shook his fear loose where it could be grasped. His locked muscles unwound all at once as the future shook out of the inevitable path of his nightmare into moving pieces that could be shifted, again. “Thank you,” he whispered against Shuuichi’s shoulder.

“Shh,” Shuuichi told him, settling back against the pillows, though he kept Rei gathered up against him. Rei wasn’t protesting. “Get some sleep. Or your little waitress friend will make you stay behind the stove all day so you don’t scare the customers.”

Rei’s mouth quirked. Azusa wouldn’t; she liked having him deal with problem customers too much. But she would fuss over him if he looked too rough. The last time he’d had a cold had meant a solid week of dodging home remedies. “Yeah. All right.” He draped himself half on top of Shuuichi, though, far closer than they usually slept, pressed against the living, breathing warmth of him.

It helped.


Shuuichi lay quiet under Rei’s weight, considering the ceiling thoughtfully. He’d had a few uncomplimentary thoughts, before this, about whoever Rei’s control was, that they didn’t take better care of him. Now, though, he was starting to think that Rei had never mentioned his control, not out of any good habit, but because he didn’t have one. Not in the normal sense, anyway. The more he learned about Rei, the more possible it seemed that Rei was high enough up in his division that his ‘control’ was simply his boss, and not trained to be a spy’s contact and lifeline at all. Either that, or Rei’s brilliance meant no one else could see how close to the edge he was coming.

Which meant there might not be plans in place for Rei’s extraction, because he was increasingly convinced that Rei hadn’t made any for himself.

Shuuichi sighed, and stroked Rei’s hair slowly, when he stirred. Personally, Shuuichi thought Rei was far too driven by his passionate commitment to duty, to be undercover where he’d been for the past five years. Oh, Rei had a coldly ruthless side, all right; it was what allowed him to penetrate so deep into the Organization. And, of course, getting into Vermouth’s orbit had kept him from the worst of the hands-on killing. But the inherent contradiction with Rei’s fierce care for his people was pulling a tear deeper and deeper into Rei’s soul. Tonight’s nightmare was only the latest sign of it.

Well. If Rei wouldn’t plan for his own escape, Shuuichi had no issues with doing it for him.

No matter how loud the argument afterwards was likely to be.

He pressed a kiss to the top of Rei’s head, smiling at the thought, and closed his eyes.

Two

Rei swung his hips to the quick beat in his ears and took a sliding step across his little kitchen space to the fridge, to pull out the chopped pork and onion mixture he’d put in to cool that morning before work, smiling to himself. One of the things he liked most about cooking at home, despite the smaller workspace, was that he could listen to anything he wanted, not just the bland radio stations mandated by the Cafe’s manager. And with his earbuds in, he could crank up the volume as much as he liked without complaints from customers, neighbors, or co-workers.

Of course, he was subject to more irregular interruptions, at home. With customarily perfect timing, there was a knock at his door just as he was rolling up the third cabbage leaf and had his hands thoroughly greasy. Three raps and two taps, which told him immediately who it was and also reminded him that his lover thought he was funny.1 Shuuichi was definitely going to get the second 8 in, today, before Rei could clean his hands and answer the door.

On the other hand, today Rei had a little dig of his own, in return.

He still rolled his eyes at Shuuuichi, as he let him in. “You spent far too long in the States.”

Shuuichi gave him the bright-eyed look that meant he was laughing behind that calm expression. “It’s appropriate enough, isn’t it?” He leaned in and stole an illustrative kiss, which Rei snorted a little at but let him have. Shuuichi’s brows were raised as he drew back. “What are you listening to?”

Rei smirked at the unspoken corollary ‘so loudly’, and caught the wires of his headphones, turning his head to tug them loose. “It’s the latest live concert for this group. They’ve got some real talent.” He held them out, cords draped invitingly over his fingers. “Of course, Hori has been more focused on a musical career, but personally I think Mimori has even more potential.”

Shuuichi slanted a faintly dubious look at the headphones, from which a driving snare could be heard, even from two feet away, but took one of the speakers and held it to his ear. He was treated to hearing the second half of “No Brand Girls” performed live at the LoveLive Dream Sensation concert.

Rei memorized the most utterly nonplussed expression he’d ever seen on Shuuichi’s face, and tucked it away to gloat over later. For now, he gave Shuuichi his very best sunny and innocent smile. Shuuichi looked down at him for a long moment before a corner his mouth started to curl up. He finally gave in and laughed as he dropped the earbud back into Rei’s hand. “Yes, all right.” Rei’s smile got a little sunnier at the unspoken ‘fine, you got me’, and it was Shuuichi’s turn to snort. “What are you making?” he asked, stepping toward the kitchen.

What was sufficiently involved that it delayed answering the door, when Rei really did try to keep the knock down to a single 8, was what that really meant. Rei tucked his earbuds into his pocket, with his player, and thumbed the off button. Game won. “Cabbage rolls. It’s getting colder out, and I was in the mood for them.” He tossed the can of diced tomatoes, waiting on the counter, to Shuuichi. “Here. Make yourself useful and open that.”

Shuuichi did as he was told, which Rei felt was his one true virtue in a kitchen. “Do they go in here?” Shuuichi asked, nodding at the enameled iron pot set waiting on the larger burner.

“Yes, but not until after the garlic and bay leaves are sautéed, which I’m not trusting you with, yet.”

“You’re the chef,” Shuuichi agreed peacefully enough, tucking the can opener back away where it belonged.

Rei didn’t miss the thoughtful glance he gave the headphone cords still dangling from Rei’s hip pocket, though.


When Rei visited the Kudou house a week later, to find Shuuichi stretched out on the couch and “Wonderful Rush” playing on the stereo, he laughed out loud.

“I really do like μ’s, you know,” he pointed out, smirking as he slid down to the couch to settle comfortably on top of Shuuichi.

Even in Okiya Subaru’s disguise, Shuuichi’s smile was still his own, crooked and sharp unless he had reason to gentle it. Which he did now, apparently. He stroked the backs of his fingers down Rei’s cheek. “After listening for a while, that doesn’t really surprise me.”

Rei knew his own smile was softer as he rested his head on Shuuichi’s shoulder. Shuuichi did that to him, a lot.

Not that he thought, for one second, that Shuuichi was finished teasing people with his new musical discovery.


Miyano Shiho, currently and regrettably known to most of her associates as Haibara Ai, had known her sister’s boyfriend was a bastard from the day she’d first met him. That opinion had not been altered in the least, in the intervening years, not by the revelation of his true allegiance, not by his—admittedly laudable—efforts to destroy Gin on Akemi’s behalf, and not by the hints Akai occasionally dropped that he was still hanging around in part to guard Shiho herself.

Especially not by that last one.

Indeed, it was thanks to “Okiya Subaru’s” presence that Shiho had gotten far better acquainted than she’d ever wanted to be with Akai Shuuichi’s idea of humor, which she found singularly unamusing in every instance. It might even be fractally unamusing, because every time she saw that smirk of his she found new and still more detailed reasons to despise it.

The fact that he seemed to find that, in itself, amusing was not lost on her.

So she was always a bit wary, when her little friends wanted her to join them in a visit to “Subaru-oniichan”. The man was underfoot enough at the Professor’s, no need to go looking for any more of him. Today, unfortunately, Kudou was down with a cold and firmly ensconced in bed under Ran’s oversight, and the Detective Boys had a puzzle they wanted answered after watching a more exciting than usual science show last night. Failing Kudou, and with a little too much experience of Professor’s incurable urge to educate at every opportunity, they’d trouped next door to ask “Subaru-oniichan”. And, since Kudou wasn’t there, Shiho had felt mildly conscience-bound to go along and make sure her young friends came to no harm in their enthusiasm.

Goodness knew, someone had to.

So she’d gritted her teeth, instead of baring them, when “Subaru” answered the door, and followed along after as Mikihiko tried to explain their question, not particularly assisted by Ayumi and Genta’s interjections. When they got to the livingroom, though, she ground to a halt in the door, utterly unable to process what her senses were telling her.

There was music playing.

Pop music.

Upbeat, relentlessly cheerful, unfailingly optimistic idol-pop music. She could practically hear the sparkles.

“Ah!” Ayumi exclaimed, bouncing a little on her toes and beaming up at “Subaru”. “It’s μ’s!”

Akai smiled down at her. “Yes, it is. A friend got me listening to them. Do you like them, too?”

“Yes!”

Shiho actually felt her brain short-circuit, a visceral twinge of does not compute, input denied.

Akai leaned down toward Ayumi, confidingly. “I have all the live recordings, now, I think. Let me know if you want to borrow anything.” He tipped his head, smile now including Shiho. “I understand they’re very popular with young ladies.”

That smile.

“Haibara-san?” Mitsuhiko asked, giving her concerned puppy-dog eyes. “Are you all right? Your face is getting awfully red, all of a sudden.”

Drawing on the discipline that had gotten her through advanced degrees in bioscience in a handful of years, Shiho tamped down her fury and smiled instead of hissing like an outraged cat. “I’m fine. Just a little overheated, maybe.” She shrugged out of her jacket and sat demurely on the couch. “Why don’t you ask Subaru-san your question?”

Akai took one of the armchairs, looking politely interested. Probably only Shiho noticed the little quirk lingering at one corner of his mouth.

Someday she was going to have her revenge for every last one of those little smirks, and it was going to be so sweet. But that day would not be today, because then she would have to explain, several different times, how something could be colder than ice but still liquid. Let Akai do it. It was a very small, but possibly appropriate punishment. Even if the way he smiled at the children made her suspect it wasn’t actually a punishment at all. She ignored that thought.

She didn’t really want to have anything in common with the bastard.

Shiho tucked her feet up under herself to keep her toes from trying to tap to the beat.

Three

Rei climbed the stairs to his apartment, hands tucked in his pockets, wearing a small, cool smile. He spun his keys lightly through his fingers to catch the door key, and turned the key slowly, as always. He let himself smirk just a tiny bit at the feel of the grimy stiffness in the lock, his low-tech deterrent for impatient burglars and the reason he’d picked this particular apartment from the ones available. He slipped inside on light feet and relocked the door behind him.

And finally let himself sag back against the door, smile turning into clenched teeth.

He hated this. Hated it with every drop of blood in his veins, with every beat of his heart. The usual things he did for the Organization were bad enough—gathering information about people, knowing it would lead to blackmail, to advancing the Organization’s ends, possibly to death. But it was worse when he had to kill with his own hands, when he had to pull a trigger and make himself look cool and uncaring as one of his people fell dead at his feet. His shoulders hunched tighter, against the blow of that remembered sound.

“Rei.”

He started upright, eyes widening, before the voice itself penetrated. He still had to swallow before he could answer, “Shuuichi.”

A shadow by the bookshelves shifted and light bloomed out from the desk lamp. In the glow of it, Shuuichi crossed the room to him, taking Rei’s shoulders to draw him away from the door. “Was it bad, tonight?” he asked, quietly.

“Bad enough.” Rei started to reach for Shuuichi, aching for some contact he didn’t have to doubt. In his mind’s eye, though, Yoshimura Hayato’s body fell with the uncaring sprawl of the dead, and his hand—the hand that had held the gun—flinched back. Rei pulled in a hard breath, bracing himself to push past his own response, to bury it like he’d had to bury it over and over and over these last five years.

Before he quite could, though, Shuuichi caught Rei’s hand in both of his, folding Rei’s fingers gently over his own. As Rei stared blankly, Shuuichi lifted his hand and pressed a kiss to his fingers, slow and deliberate. When he looked up again to catch Rei’s eyes, his own were dark and knowing and so completely free of any blame that Rei didn’t know whether the sound he made was gratitude or protest. Shuuichi took no apparent notice, either way, and slid an arm around Rei’s shoulders, guiding him away from the door. “Come on. Bath, food, sleep.”

“I do know how to take care of myself,” Rei grumbled as he kicked off his shoes.

“Obviously, or you wouldn’t have made it this long.” Shuuichi sounded perfectly agreeable, but he kept his arm wrapped around Rei’s shoulders and nudged him toward the bathroom as soon as he had his slippers on. Rei huffed but let himself be steered into the bath. The warmth of Shuuichi’s hands helping him out of his clothes was welcome. When the water was running hot, Shuuichi finally left him to himself for a little while, and Rei used considerably more soap than usual to wash with.

More than usual for nights he wasn’t doing the Organization’s work, at any rate. Rei focused on the feel of water running over his skin, pushing away the sense-memories of the night along with each handful of suds. He knew from grim experience that it wasn’t a permanent trick; it broke down without fail when he visited the graves. It would carry him through any reports he had to make, though—whether to the Organization or to his own division.

When he emerged, still rubbing a towel through his hair, Shuuichi was sitting cross-legged at the living-room table with a plate of peeled orange sections. It was a good choice, Rei had to admit. Small pieces, mostly liquid, a strong enough taste to drown the heavy, iron sharpness he kept imagining in his sinuses. When Shuuichi held out a hand to him, Rei hesitated a moment, feeling a little off balance from his usual coping routine, but he finally gave in and went to sit close, in the curve of Shuuichi’s arm. “That’s better,” Shuuichi told him, gathering him closer. “Remember that you have more support, now.”

Rei looked up at that, startled into a faint laugh. “I have a great deal more support, in this country, than you do, you know.”

“You certainly should.” Shuuichi looked down at him with a brow quirked up. “Curious how you never seem to call on it, then.”

“I do so!” Rei protested, indignant.

“If you count the ones you called out to try to catch me, I suppose so.” The mild tone made Rei’s face heat. “But I have yet to see anyone taking the responsibility to check on your well-being.”

“I stay in contact.” Rei picked up a section of orange and bit down on it a little more firmly than necessary. "I call them when I need something done."

“But they ask stupid question, and it’s annoying when they get in your way.” It wasn’t actually a question, which didn’t surprise Rei. Of course Shuuichi would know.

“It’s just… easier,” he said, quietly, turning another bit of orange over in his fingers. “To deal with it on my own.”

“I know.” Shuuichi’s arm around him tightened for a moment, and Shuuichi turned his head to press a kiss to Rei’s temple. “But you have someone here who does understand, now.”

Rei leaned against him with a tiny smile. “That, I’ll agree with.”

He could hear the answering smile in Shuuichi’s voice. “It’s a start.”

Rei noted that for later consideration, because ‘start’ suggested there was more coming along after. But that thought could wait. For now, all he wanted to do was sit here and soak up the presence of someone who knew exactly what he’d done tonight and still held him close.

Four

Shiho tried not to approve too much of anything “Subaru-san” did. The man didn’t need any encouragement; he was a lot like Kudou that way. But she had to admit that, now and then, he could be useful. In a crowded line for the new Okinio Youko release, for instance.

Shiho shepherded Ayumi a little further into the triangle of space Akai held clear with nothing more than broad shoulders and body language, and braced herself with a huff of annoyance against the knee in her back as the line moved up a step. Some days, she really, really missed having high, pointy heels for situations just like this one, and if that made her anti-social, well so be it. She got kneed in the shoulder again and reflected on how very much the college student behind her deserved a high heel in his toe.

And then she tried not to flinch as “Subaru” leaned down toward her. How could he possibly loom more when he was bending down?

“Are you doing all right, Haibara-san?” His smile made her twitch again; for pity’s sake, couldn’t anyone else see how sharp it was? “We’ll be at the front of the line soon.”

Shiho saw the people in front of them start to move, and braced herself to be crowded again, unable to help the sour edge to her voice when she answered, “Good.” And then she blinked, because nothing hit her back. A quick glance over her shoulder showed that the college student had edged back a good fifteen centimeters, which was impressive in a crush like this. What…?

When it clicked, she whipped her head back around to stare at Akai, but he’d already straightened up and was smiling at nothing in particular. She was so startled by her own conclusion that the next step forward caught her by surprise after all, and she stumbled half a step.

Ayumi caught her, looking surprised as she steadied Shiho. “Are you all right, Ai-chan?”

“Yes, I’m fine,” Shiho murmured with a tiny smile. After a moment’s hesitation, she added, not quite directly to Ayumi, “Thank you.”

“Sure!” Ayumi smiled, sunny and pleased.

“Subaru-san’s” smile curled just a bit wider. Shiho shot him a glare on general principles.

However useful he could be, sometimes, he really, really did not need any encouragement.


One of the things Kudou Shinichi truly detested about being Edogawa Conan was the simple, physical fact of being small. Sure he found ways around it—the skateboard when he needed to be fast, the shoes and a kickable object when he needed to be strong. But the fact remained that, without those force multipliers the Professor provided, he was about as inconvenient as a misplaced briefcase to the average adult.

Which meant, of course, that every suspect who wanted to make a break for it broke in Shinichi’s direction. And he had his shoes, today, but he’d already used his belt-ball to stop the guy’s car. He was going to come home with bruises that would make Ran frown again, today, wasn’t he? Crap. Well, no help for it…

Just as he was preparing to throw himself at the man’s legs to trip him, though, a hand squeezed his shoulder firmly, and then Akai-san (or Subaru-san, at the moment) was stepping past him, and the suspect met Subaru-san’s elbow going very much the wrong way. At least, the wrong way for anyone wanting to stay conscious. Shinichi had to wince a little, as the man hit the ground with a meaty thud, and he wasn’t the only one.

“Well,” Subaru-san said, mildly, brushing his jacket straight, “who’d have thought he’d have such a glass jaw?”

Shinichi (joined by not a few of the surrounding police) rolled his eyes. Sometimes he thought Akai-san actually enjoyed how unconvincing he was at being innocuous. Under the sudden bustle of securing the suspect, though, Shinichi muttered, “Thanks.” The wry tilt of Subaru-san’s answering smile said Shinichi was not being subtle about how little he liked having to be rescued, and Shinichi shrugged at him. No one sane would enjoy his current life. Subaru-san tipped his head in acknowledgement, but Shinichi noticed that he stayed fairly close until the cuffs were locked.

Well, whatever. Thanks to Ran, Shinichi was almost getting used to being shadowed by over-protective tall people.


Rei slouched against the door of the train car, arms crossed, as close as he could get to not being on the wretched thing, and gave his lover a disgruntled look. “Remind me why we’re stuffed into this car with every football fan in Tokyo, instead of driving to this game like people who both have cars? Two of them, in your case.”

Shuuichi looked far too amused, something Rei swore his Okiya disguise intensified. “You don’t normally complain about being somewhere in order to locate a suspect.”

“If there was the smallest chance of making useful observations, here, you might have a point.” As it was, the only thing Rei was finding to observe were the backs and shoulders of the five closest passengers. That and Shuuichi’s chest, which wasn’t unwelcome but was far more interesting in less crowded surroundings. “Also, the ‘suspect’ is a middle-schooler, and the children seem to be observing just fine without us.” Indeed, they’d scattered down the car and established their posts with slightly alarming proficiency.

He really should have known, the very first time Shuuichi had brought the Detective Boys out to drop in his lap, that he’d wind up being just as much their adult adjunct as Shuuichi himself was. He suspected that Shuuichi considered the children a sort of therapy for both of them. Well, if nothing else, the growing stream of lost pets, grade-school politics, and occasional robbery in his life was keeping Rei’s sense of the ridiculous alive and well.

He still felt he could have done without the re-introduction to the crush of public transport during peak hours.

Although… now he thought about it, he hadn’t been jostled nearly as much as he probably should have been in a car this crowded. He straightened up a little from his slump, glancing around curiously. There were plenty of other people looking at least as harassed as he probably was who were being crowded even worse, so it wasn’t his expression. Rei had always looked far more delicate than he actually was, so he doubted anyone was intimidated by the rest of him, either. But he had breathing room without having to fight for it, today. Why…?

Which was when the train took another turn and he finally noticed the flex of muscles Shuuichi’s arm, where it was braced against the divider beside them. And just how little Shuuichi was moving as the rest of the car swayed in their direction.

And how that kept Rei’s breathing room open.

A corner of Rei’s mouth twitched helplessly upward. “Subaru-san. Are you actually trying to protect me?”

Shuuichi’s brows rose, and he seemed to take a moment to notice what he was doing, himself. “Ah.” His faint smile turned rueful. “I suppose it’s gotten to be habit.”

Rei felt his own smile softening, because of course it was a habit with Shuuichi. The better he got to know the man, the more obvious that quiet protective streak got. It was the live current of honor, of rightness, that made Shuuichi’s relentless hunt for the Organization something Rei could join his own hunt to without a shadow of hesitation.

He would miss it so very much, when they were done.

“Rei?” Shuuichi asked, frowning a little. “What is it?”

Rei pulled himself back from the sudden, sharp pain of his own thought, and shook his head. “Later.” He nodded toward the little eddy of disturbance that spoke of miniature detectives on the move. “I think the children found something.”

Shuuichi’s gaze lingered on him for a long moment, but finally he nodded.

“Later, then.”

Five

It was late enough that Shuuichi had scrubbed off his Okiya Subaru disguise, even though he was sitting down in the Kudou library. Yukiko-san had been quite firm that he not wear it at night, once he was proficient enough to put it back on himself, so he rarely did once his bugs told him Shiho had gone to bed. His day wasn’t finished, yet, though, and he paged through a pirated batch of autopsy photos to find the injury he wanted. Head injuries of the right sort were proving annoyingly rare.

The five measured knocks at the door were honestly a bit of a relief. He sat back in the desk chair as Rei slipped in, and held out a hand. “You’re just in time for drinks,” he said, lightly.

Rei came to lean against the chair. “Only if you’ve stopped drinking bourbon.”

“Now, why should I do that?”

Rei rolled his eyes. Shuuichi took a great deal of amusement from getting that expression out of him, which obviously exasperated Rei all the more. Rei was far from the first person to tell Shuuichi that he had bad hobbies.

“I’ll pass, thank you.” Rei glanced down at the screen. “Looking through medical records, today?” Rei leaned over his shoulder. “Autopsies?”

“One of them will be an autopsy record, eventually,” Shuuichi agreed, flipping back through his model records to copy another line of medical findings. A quick glance over his shoulder showed Rei’s brows rising.

“Is one of your team likely to need one of these?” Rei frowned at yet another X-ray of a skull with a hole in it, this one at a rear angle. “Besides you, that is.”

“Yes.” Shuuichi saved his latest version and stretched his arms over his head, shaking out the knots of peering at one image after another. “When you need extraction, you will.”

Rei went very still, at his back. “When that’s necessary, Public Security will take care of it.” His voice was clipped.

“They should have already,” Shuuichi said to his computer screen, not turning yet. “This isn’t something you leave for last minute, if you can help it.”

“We have plenty of resources, here, to take care of it quickly.” Rei turned away from the table with a dismissive wave and Shuuichi turned to watch him. “Besides, if they’re ready, I might—” he bit back the rest of the sentence sharply.

“You might want to use them?” Shuuichi completed it, softly. Rei’s shoulders stiffened.

“How I deal with my assignments is none of your… it’s not…”

“It’s become my business, hadn’t it?” Shuuichi stood and slid his hands lightly over Rei’s shoulders, feeling the hard straightness of them. They jerked with Rei’s snort.

“So, what, you’re offering to be my control, now?”

“I don’t know enough about Japan’s security requirements for that,” Shuuichi pointed out, keeping his voice calm and even. “No. I’m offering to be your partner.”

Rei’s head jerked around, at that, eyes wide. “My… but…” He turned back toward Shuuichi, slowly this time, eyes fixed on Shuuichi’s face, studying him. “You don’t know when you’ll be pulled off this assignment, though, now you’re out not undercover.”

That made Shuuichi smile. “James knows perfectly well I’d resign, if he tried to.” Rei’s eyes went even wider, genuinely shocked by that. Shuuichi lifted a hand to cup his cheek. “I’m not like you, in this, Rei. I’m not loyal to a country—only to my own people. I only went to the FBI because they had the start of the thread I needed to follow.”

“That’s why,” Rei nearly whispered. “I always wondered how your Bureau could afford to leave someone of your skills here so long. Even I… I mean, there are always slow times, and there’s always something else that needs doing.” He smiled, suddenly, wry and tilted. “But if it’s actually a choice between having you on this case and not having you at all…”

“They did bring me back to the States for a little while right after my cover was blown,” Shuuichi allowed. “But that was only until we found another opening here. James and I understand each other, about this. It works out.” He stroked his thumb gently over Rei’s lower lip, satisfied with how the line of Rei’s mouth softened. He wasn’t above playing dirty, if it got Rei to listen. “I will be here, with you, through the end.”

“Then why are you planning my extraction?” Rei wanted to know.

“Because you haven’t done it, yourself. Or let anyone else do it, it sounds like.”

Rei shook his head. “I can’t give everything to an assignment if I’m planning a way out at the same time.”

Which was not an especially good way to survive assignments, in Shuuichi’s opinion, but now probably wasn’t the time to say that. “Then don’t think about it.” Shuuichi ran a hand through Rei’s hair, smiling a bit at the way Rei promptly shook it back into place. “Not until you need it. Just know that I’m taking care of things.”

Rei’s mouth quirked up crookedly. “And how is that different from knowing my people will take care of things, then?”

It was, Shuuichi decided, time to play a little dirtier if he wanted to get past Rei’s determined dismissal of his own welfare. He caught Rei’s chin firmly, lifting it to make Rei look at him. “It’s different,” he said over Rei’s startled gasp, “because I am here. And when you need this, I won’t be waiting in an office for you to call. I’ll be beside you, as your partner should be.”

Rei was promisingly relaxed against him, for all his eyes were wide. “I… I mean, yes, but…”

Quieter, in answer to Rei’s hesitation, Shuuichi added, “This work means as much to me as it does to you, Rei. So will you trust me to watch out for that edge, for you?”

Thankfully, he seemed to have judged correctly how hard to push. Rei lost the last of his tension, hands relaxing and spreading against Shuuichi’s back. Shuuichi let his hold gentle, fingers stroking down Rei’s jaw before he dropped his hand to link with the other at the small of Rei’s back. He was content to wait for Rei, now he seemed to be thinking instead of indulging in reflex denial. It took a few minutes, and Shuuichi wasn’t sure even he could guess all the thoughts turning behind Rei’s eyes. But eventually Rei nodded, just a tiny bit, to himself, and looked up. Rei’s voice was soft but steady, as steady as his eyes on Shuuichi’s, when he answered, “Yes.”

Shuuichi smiled and leaned down to brush a soft kiss over his lips. “Thank you.”

Rei returned the kiss absently, still looking up at Shuuichi, and now looking more speculative. Shuuichi waited some more, smile slowly widening as Rei’s eyes narrowed and sharpened. He loved watching the quicksilver leap of Rei’s intuition, and the iron discipline that followed each possible path and shaped speculation into conclusion. “You took advantage of how I respond, when you’re firm with me,” Rei said, eventually. “To startle me out of my old pattern.”

It wasn’t a question, so Shuuichi didn’t bother to agree. “You needed to start thinking more than you were.” He let his tone be a bit chiding, and watched with absolute pleasure the quick blush across Rei’s cheeks, and how swiftly it was followed by awareness that Shuuichi had just demonstrated in small what he’d done during their argument. He enjoyed this quirk of Rei’s, but the last thing he wanted was for it to be an exploitable opening.

At least, not when Rei didn’t want it to be.

Rei wet his lips, still rather flushed. “You cheat.” He didn’t sound like he actually minded.

“As often as necessary,” Shuuichi agreed.

“And did you intend to stir me up and then not do anything about it?” Rei murmured, getting a familiar gleam in his eyes. Shuuichi laughed, low.

“What was it you thought I should do instead?”

Rei smirked and pushed Shuuichi back until the backs of his thighs hit the desk and he leaned against it. Rei prowled forward another two steps, straddling Shuuichi’s legs and sliding up tight against him. “How about this?” He slid his hands up into Shuuichi’s hair and pulled him down to a hot, hungry kiss.

Shuuichi slid his hands down Rei’s back to curve around his ass, pulling Rei more firmly against him, and swallowed the husky sound Rei made, kissing him deeper. Rei’s open response and demand never failed to touch off answering fire in him, and the perfectly wanton way Rei ground against him pulled a growl from deep in his chest. Shuuichi bent his head to bite up and down the line of Rei’s neck, and savored the way Rei’s body pulled into a taut arch, in his arms.

“Shuuichi-san…!”

Shuuichi slid a hand between them to tug open the button and zipper of Rei’s pants, and couldn’t help grinning against Rei’s throat at the distinctly relieved sound he made. Or at how breathless it turned when he pushed slow fingers between Rei’s cheeks, fondling his entrance. “Yes?” he asked softly.

Rei ground hard against him, shuddering, and his agreement was fervent. “Yes.”

“Mm, good.” Shuuichi lifted his head and extracted his hand, which made Rei blink at him, at least until Shuuichi sucked two fingers into his mouth to wet them. He watched Rei’s eyes turn dark and dilated, and smiled, drawing his fingers out. “That looks about right.”

Rei slid his hands up Shuuichi’s chest, leaning into him, and breathed, “Definitely.” He caught Shuuichi’s mouth and kissed him, fiercely demanding. Shuuichi made a satisfied sound, twining his tongue with Rei’s, and slid his hand back down to push only-just-slick fingers into Rei. Rei’s open moan was exactly what he wanted to hear.

Shuuichi wound his arm around Rei’s waist, holding him fast, and drove his fingers in deeper. The sound Rei made was breathless and wanting, and the flex of his body was sinuous as he ground against Shuuichi. “You’re so amazing,” he murmured against Rei’s ear, and purred at the shiver he could feel run through Rei. “So passionate and alive in everything you do. I love that fire, in you.”

“Shuuichi…!” Rei’s body pulled taut against his, and Shuuichi thought he could almost taste Rei’s wildness on his tongue. His voice was husky with how good that taste was.

“You’re so brilliant, Rei.”

Rei jerked against him, and a low moan wrung out of him. Shuuichi worked his fingers hard against the tightening of Rei’s body, drawing him out until Rei was panting for breath against his shoulder. He didn’t ease off until Rei gasped, voice thin, “Shuuichi-san.” Rei sagged against him, boneless, and Shuuichi gathered him close, warm satisfaction curling through him.

“Do you really?” Rei asked, a little muffled against his shoulder.

Shuuichi cocked his head, looking down at Rei, fingers sliding through his hair. “Hm?”

Rei didn’t move. “My passion, you said. Do you really like that?”

“I do, yes.” Shuuichi rubbed his fingers up and down Rei’s nape, waiting patiently to see why Rei thought he might say something he didn’t mean. He thought perhaps Rei could tell, because he shrugged a shoulder and said, low, “You’re so much calmer, is all. And it was letting passion blind me that was the trouble between us, wasn’t it?”

“Which is why you need a partner who can steady you.” Still pressed close, he could feel the thread of tension that wound through Rei, at that, and pressed a kiss against his hair. “Shh. We all made mistakes, that night, remember.” He waited out the spasm of guilt, waited until Rei let out an unsteady breath and relaxed against him again, before adding. “And you aren’t the only one who needs a partner to balance him. I always have.”

Rei finally looked up, at that, eyes wide, as if it was some kind of surprise. Well, maybe it was, given the shape of Rei’s quirks. After a moment, though, a slow smile curled Rei’s lips. “You’d better not be comparing me to Starling.”

“You drive infinitely better,” Shuuichi assured him, straight-faced, and chuckled when Rei growled and thumped him on the shoulder. “Truly, though.” He stroked the backs of his fingers down Rei’s cheek, pleased when Rei’s body softened against him. “I don’t mind how hot you burn in the least, Rei. On the contrary, I enjoy it a great deal.”

Which seemed to recall to Rei that they were leaning against the library desk with Rei’s clothes still undone, because he turned rather red and then laughed out loud. “Yes, I suppose you do.” He reached up to comb his fingers through Shuuichi’s hair, and murmured, “Why don’t we go upstairs, and I’ll see if I can show you how much I enjoy your cool and your control?”

Shuuichi smiled down at him, soft. He was fairly certain that both of them had faced similar trouble from their respective organizations, because of how deep their perception ran and how fast it leaped. He was willing to bet that Rei’s sharp edge and his own hard calm both came from the same need to deal with people who didn’t understand. That Rei had seen the same thing, and thought to reassure Shuuichi… he liked that. He reached back to lock and close the computer for the night, and held out a hand to Rei as he stood.

“Yes, let’s.”


Rei leaned against the headboard of Shuuichi’s bed and watched Shuuichi sleep, watched the moonlight through the window spill across his chest and shoulder, watched his long fingers lie open and uncurled against the sheets. Seeing Shuuichi so completely relaxed, in his presence, tugged at Rei’s heart with the same warmth he’d been trying, with only middling success, to keep from spilling over into more than could be contained by the label ‘trusted ally’.

Now he was wondering if he needed to contain it. Or, maybe, if containing it was more urgent than ever.

Shuuichi had offered to partner him for this work, and normally that would tell Rei pretty clearly where the boundaries were. But tonight he’d also spoken of his loyalties—to his people, not his country. If Rei was one of Shuuichi’s people, now, which Rei thought he probably was… well, where did that leave them? Rei sighed and ran a hand through his hair, trying to order his thoughts. He should probably just ask Shuuichi. His lover had never been other than truthful with him. The very thought of the two of them trying to lie directly to each other was a bit laughable.

He was just afraid of what the answer might be. Afraid that this would be another heart-connection already lost, just like his father, like Elena-sensei, like Hiro.

Of course, if he was going to lose Shuuichi once this was all over, it would probably be better to know now. That eminently sensible thought sent a sharp twist of pain through his chest, and he flinched back from it yet again.

Rei growled at his own dithering and slid back down in bed, thumping his pillow into shape and burying his head in it. He’d think about this in the morning, which would come very shortly since he was opening the cafe. Complications later; his job now (all three of them). It had worked for him for years.


Once Rei’s breathing had evened out into sleep, Shuuichi opened his eyes. Sleeping under the brooding weight of Rei’s attention had not been something that was going to happen, but Rei didn’t seem to want to talk about it yet. He eyed the tight curve of Rei’s back, thoughtfully. If this followed Rei’s other patterns, then it was about grief; that was the thing Rei tried not to talk or even think about. Shuuichi had offered a partnership, tonight, and Rei had accepted. Had that set him thinking about Morofushi?

About Morofushi’s loss?

Shuuichi nodded to himself, feeling the weight of that thought, the nearly audible click as it settled into place, congruent with all his observations. Well, if that was the case, he could certainly reassure Rei that he wasn’t going anywhere.

He’d found far too many interesting things, in Japan, to leave.

Six

“…so it’s looking like the Organization has stayed away from all the multi-nationals, which is a relief,” Jodie said, leaning back in the Kudou’s livingroom armchair with her coffee cup balanced on her fingertips. Shuuichi smiled, inwardly, to see it; that was Jodie’s tell that she was on the track of some conclusion, and closing fast.

“What about other criminal organizations?”

Jodie frowned. “That’s harder to be sure of, obviously, but Camel’s been checking the Bureau’s records of foreign criminal contacts.” She sipped her coffee and waved at Camel.

“Nothing that looks like them, up through twenty years back,” he confirmed. “And the Organization doesn’t seem the type to share well.”

“It’s a start. The more contacts we can eliminate, the better chance of finding the positives.” Shuuichi settled back against the couch cushions, considering this new information, and also his visitors. James seemed to be partnering Jodie with Camel, lately. Shuuichi approved. Camel had developed into a steady, meticulous agent, after his miss two years ago. That was a good match for Jodie, who was more intuitive but also more impatient.

Shuuichi and Jodie together tended to result in explosions, in the field, which neither of them minded but which James had complained of more than once, over budget reports. Shuuichi was quite looking forward to seeing what Rei’s superiors would have to say on the topic, as he and Rei worked together more.

As if the thought had summoned him, five measured knocks sounded from the back door. Shuuichi smiled. “Excellent timing. Rei should know all the Organization’s domestic contacts that have been tracked.”

“Rei?” Jodie asked, just as Rei appeared in the doorway, only to stop short and glare.

“You again. I should have the whole lot of you arrested, if only to get you out from underfoot.”

Before Jodie’s incensed inhalation could result in an argument, Shuuichi asked, “Does ‘the whole lot’ include me, then?”

You are at least useful.”

Shuuichi laughed, quietly; Rei’s temper really did suffer when he was surprised. He held out his open hand, offering and coaxing. “Jodie and Camel brought some information. Shall we trade?”

Rei stepped into the room, which was a start, though his hands were closed tight. “What information?”

“Eliminating potential Organization contacts.”

The focus on work made Rei’s shoulders relax, even as the subject made him frown. “They have to be part of or using one of the great business houses, but tracking which one is a headache. The only one we’ve been able to eliminate conclusively is Suzuki, mostly thank to the unpredictability of the Senior Adviser. Sonoko-san seems to be in the process of securing a true idealist for the next generation, and her mother is sharp enough to keep them out of trouble, so I’m not worried about Suzuki for the foreseeable future. The rest have all had some identified contact, but only at lower levels. Imonoyama and Karasuma look most likely, at face value. They had the highest level work we know of go through their hands. But Karasuma are known to take work from any source, if it makes enough money, and Imonoyama will do anything that serves their personal ends, but good luck determining what those are.”

Jodie and Camel both looked a bit stunned by the amount of information Rei had at his fingertips. Shuuichi, for his part, couldn’t help noticing how parsimonious Rei was being, given the amount of information he actually possessed. Well, one step at a time. “Interesting that they’ve kept away from the multi-nationals, then.”

Rei’s eyes narrowed, and he strolled further into the room as he thought. “The Organization stays small by recruiting extraordinary talent. It’s why they’re so hard to find, but it might also be a weakness that someone with the reach of a multi-national could exploit.” He paused, and eyed Jodie, and finally sighed. “All right. Fine, yes, whatever.”

Jodie and Camel both blinked at this leap, but Shuuichi followed it and smirked. Rei glared at him. “That doesn’t mean I have to like it!”

“You can complain to me all you like,” Shuuichi promised, reaching out to snag his wrist, since he was finally close enough. Rei made a startled sound as he was tugged down to the couch beside Shuuichi, and stiffened at the arm Shuuichi draped casually around him.

“Shuuichi-san…!” Rei sounded downright shocked. Shuuichi honestly couldn’t help being amused by how proper Rei was about manners, considering his breezy disregard of any actual law that inconvenienced him when he was on the hunt. Now was not the time to tease him about it, though, and Shuuichi didn’t smile yet.

“Rei,” he said, quiet and firm, calling for his lover’s attention to detail. Rei stilled against him, staring, and Shuuichi caught his gaze, silently urging him to think about what Shuuichi had just done.

It took a long moment, and Shuuichi tucked that observation away to follow to its roots later, but finally Rei blinked and focused properly. Shuuichi could almost feel it against his skin, when Rei’s attention swept out through the room, touching every detail of who was present, what Shuuichi had just done, how those people (including Rei himself) would read the action. Thoughts flowed like quicksilver behind Rei’s eyes, connections snapping from one to the next. Shuuichi read some of them in the flicker of Rei’s glance. Shuuichi’s co-workers, Shuuichi’s own ex-partner, their still off-balance expressions after the last conversational leap, the partnership Shuuichi had offered Rei, the conclusions Rei was drawing right now as swift as thought. The leap to Shuuichi’s words that first night they’d spent together. Shuuichi caught the faint movement of Rei’s lips, and the current of shared reasoning was so strong he nearly spoke the words again, out loud.

I’ve found a number of things around here that make me think it might not be such a bad thing to keep going on.

And at last, he saw the recollection lock into place: Rei’s completely accurate guess, that night, that he was one of those things.

“Haven’t I said I’m not going anywhere?” Shuuichi asked, very softly.

Rei nodded slowly, breath coming quick with the weight of his own conclusion. He hadn’t stirred yet, though.

“You’ll look perfectly biddable, in comparison,” Shuuichi offered. “That will be entertaining, won’t it?”

At that, the last of Rei’s hesitation finally evaporated and Rei leaned into him, laughing under his breath. Shuuichi smiled, satisfied that Rei understood.

Jodie had a hand pressed over her eyes. “Shuu!” she groaned, flopping back in her chair. “Not again!”

Shuuichi raised a brow at her histrionics. “Should you really be complaining?” Jodie had been one of the first agents he’d taken under his wing, after all, impressed by the fire-eating ferocity she usually kept concealed under her responsible-agent face, these days. He’d always rather regretted that decision, of hers, for all he understood it.

Jodie glowered at the reminder. “Oh shut up.”

Rei’s faint snort of recognition made Shuuichi smirk. He’d always known Rei and Jodie would have a few things in common, if they ever stopped sniping at each other. He blocked the answering jab of Rei’s elbow with a casual hand. “So, about that multi-national team.”

Rei released a slow sigh and straightened, turning back to practicalities. “Fine. But you get to talk to MI6.”

“Not a problem.” At least not as long as his mother was feeling reasonable.

Camel, who had been looking out the window for the past several minutes, with the grim determination of a man stuck in the middle of a family argument, finally edged back into the conversation. “Akai-san… what team are you talking about?”

“The one we’ll need, to take advantage of the Organization’s weakness. It’s size,” he added, when Camel continued to look puzzled.

“A small team, to make sure it stays as flexible as the Organization can be,” Rei specified, in the brisk tone of someone who’d had to give a great many briefings to confused subordinates, “but one with enough contacts to gain more reach.”

Jodie sighed and sat upright again. “All right, let’s think about this.” She reached for the files she’d brought and added, apparently to the papers as she sorted them. “You’re going to keep your promise, aren’t you?”

“Always,” Shuuichi answered, level. It was why he was careful about making promises, after all. Jodie looked up, eyes sharp as they met his, and finally nodded acceptance.

“All right. Who else should we touch, for this?”


Rei kept a firm grip on his professionalism until the door closed behind Starling and Camel, and then he rounded on Shuuichi.

“You are the world’s worst tease!”

Shuuichi laughed like he’d been trying not to for a while, which only made Rei’s point for him. He spun on his heel and stalked toward the kitchen. He needed a drink, for this.

Even if it was the damn bourbon.

Shuuichi, wisely, let him get through his first long swallow, before stepping up against Rei’s back and winding his arms around him, tugging him close. Rei let him, leaning back against him for a long moment before turning in his arms to look up at him.

“So, did I get all that right?” Rei asked, quietly. “You mean to stay here, even after the Organization is done? Even though some of your people are still in the States?”

“As some were here, when I left. As some are still in England, after we left there.” Shuuichi looked down at him, steady and serious. “I’ve been separated from my family before. And Jodie knows she can still call on me, for the things she might truly need me for.”

“Your promise,” Rei guessed, and swallowed a burst of residual fear, adding, lower, “Is that what I’m going to be left with, too?”

Shuuichi smiled, bright and sharp as a knife. “Only if you grow beyond me.”

The challenge in his smile, in his voice, caught like fire in Rei’s chest, a pressure that bloomed out hot and wild, a visceral reminder of what was different, for them. That strike of sparks had been between them from the moment they met, had fired his rage when he’d thought such brilliance had been drowned deep enough in ice to press for Hiro’s death, had been the first, delicate bridge of belief between them. This was why he’d given so much of himself to Akai Shuuichi, of hatred and love both. How had he let himself become so afraid of losing the one who matched him so well and so fiercely? Rei leaned against Shuuichi, laughing softly with the unbridled rush of that thought, hands running up Shuuichi’s back. “Shut up and kiss me.”

“There, you see?” Shuuichi murmured, and leaned down to catch Rei’s mouth.

Rei let the heat of it sink into his bones and anchor there, the way he hadn’t quite let happen before. “My partner,” he said into Shuuichi’s mouth.

The tightening of Shuuichi’s arms around him drove his breath out. “Yes.”

And that was it—the mirror of his own hunger, in Shuuichi. That was the thing that let him relax into his own need, and kiss Shuuichi with all the devouring hunger in his heart, and know without doubt he would be answered.

And he was.

End

1. 88 is International Morse code for “love and kisses”. back

Ground Fire

This arc is undoubtedly in the process of being jossed, but that just means I get to write it again in another couple weeks. Or months. Well, by the end of the year, surely.

One

Furuya Rei, currently known to his targets and associates as Amuro Tohru, knew he was not at his best when he was surprised. As Hiro had trenchantly put it once, Rei’s observational ability meant he just didn’t get surprised often enough to figure out how to deal with it very well. Rei knew it was a vulnerability, but since he wasn’t about to stop observing the world around him, he hadn’t seen any good way to fix it. 

At least not until just recently.

Akai Shuuichi had been responsible for most of Rei’s least pleasant surprises over the last few years, and Rei rather hoped that his pursuit of Akai would help fix the issue. Surely it wasn’t unreasonable to want Akai to be at least a little useful before he died?

Unfortunately, it seemed Rei still had a ways to go. Admittedly, Vermouth’s message was enough to occupy anyone’s mind—that Gin might be scouting the same professional sniper that Conan was currently tracking (and of course he was, if there was one place their miniature Holmes should not be, you could count on finding him there every time, and yes Rei was aware of the irony of his exasperation). So when he came out of the stairwell onto the roof, he was prepared to either tackle a sniper or bullshit Gin just as fast as humanly possible, and perhaps to restrain Conan from charging straight at a rifle barrel.

He was not expecting to find Akai Shuuichi vaulting up the last steps of the fire escape onto the same roof. 

They both froze for one long, startled second, and then years-long rage sent Rei’s hand diving for his gun in the same moment that Akai lunged straight for him. He tried to turn out of Akai’s line, but even the most sternly trained muscle memory tripped over the unexpected. One hand occupied, he missed his stance (trying to do two things at once, the remembered voice of the Academy jujutsu instructor berated him, in the back of his head) and the full weight of Akai’s body slammed him back against the wall beside the stairwell door. When Rei had managed to haul breath back into his lungs, he was pinned, and Akai had an iron grip on his gun hand. Rei bared his teeth in a furious snarl, outraged that he’d had a clean chance at Akai, and as himself instead of as Okiya for once, and he’d missed it.

Akai’s expression, half in shadow as he looked down at Rei, was pensive. "Can you not let this go?" he asked, quietly.

"Let it go?" Rei spat, yanking futilely against Akai’s grip, nearly wrenching his own shoulder with a twist he didn’t have the leverage to complete. "Let it go that you killed my best, oldest friend, with your damned illegal interference?"

Akai’s eyes narrowed. "You know better than that. You, of all people, must have seen better than that."

"So he pulled the trigger himself! You were the one who made him do it, just to keep your cover!" Rei threw back at him. "You must have been! He’d never have done that on his own!"

Akai stared at him silently for a long moment, and then bent his head and let out a long, faint sigh. Anticipation pulled Rei’s muscles taut, waiting for the moment that well-earned guilt might give him a break in Akai’s hold or attention. "It wasn’t on his own, no," Akai said, very quietly, and rage cranked Rei’s whole body a notch tighter, teeth grinding hard on that admission. When Akai lifted his head, though, it wasn’t guilt in the pinch of his brows or the sudden softness of his mouth. Only… what? Sadness, yes, but also something else.

"You see so clearly, most times," Akai said, very softly, almost a whisper between them. "Remember what you saw, Furuya-kun. He didn’t do it on his own. Think about what he would have seen and heard, up on that roof. Already sure that the Organization would be coming for him, what did he hear right before he shot?"

Rei stared up at him, mind turning the thought over and poking at it automatically. Did Akai mean there was something he’d said to Hiro just then? Or was he trying to palm this off on something else, a phone call, or another member approaching, or…

Rei’s breath froze in his lungs. Another member approaching.

Footsteps, fast and intent, rattling up the metal steps of the fire-escape stair. Rei’s memory played them back as if it were just yesterday.

"No," Rei whispered, eyes wide and blind with the image building itself inexorably in his mind.

Hiro had heard footsteps approaching and thought it was another member. He’d heard Rei’s footsteps.

And then he’d pulled the trigger.

"No!" It ripped out of his throat on a scream, furious and helpless and pained (it had been him) but the sound was muffled in his ears. It took a moment for Rei to realize there was a hand cupped around his head, pulling him down against the worn leather of a jacketed shoulder. It took longer to realize that the hard clatter he’d heard was his own gun, fallen from his hand. The realization was like a fist in his stomach—it had been him. He hadn’t thought anyone could have found Hiro before him, had counted on his friend’s steadiness, even under the worst pressure, to make Hiro wait and see who was coming, never thinking that someone else might have gotten there first, that Hiro might already be on a hair-trigger.

He hadn’t thought. Hadn’t looked ahead. Hadn’t seen what was right in front of him, that night.

Hiro had died because of him.

Rei barely felt the rough tar-paper under his knees as he collapsed, didn’t think about whose hands caught him or whose jacket was muffling the sobs tearing out of his chest. That one damning thought echoed through his mind and pushed out everything else, until all he could do was howl with the pain of it.

But there was nothing that grief could change—that was why it was grief and not rage, even though he’d tried so hard to make it stay rage, to imagine that vengeance would change something, if only in his own heart. Eventually even nearly four years worth of tears ran dry, because there was nothing else to do. That was when the realization finally made its way to the surface of Rei’s thoughts that Akai was kneeling on the roof with him, and the hand resting on his head was Akai’s, and so was the shoulder his face was buried in.

The very wet shoulder.

As soon as he stirred, the hand dropped to his arm, helping him upright as he pushed away. Rei didn’t look up as Akai stood, just scrubbed his sleeve over his aching eyes; how were you supposed to talk to the man you’d just cried all over, who you’d been trying very hard to kill right up until that moment? 

Two hands appeared in front of him. "Up," Akai said.

Rei did look up at that, startled.

"Come on, up," Akai repeated, and flicked his fingers, beckoning. "We can’t stay here."

That was good enough sense that Rei mustered the coordination to take Akai’s hands and haul himself upright, biting back a curse as he almost fell and Akai had to catch him again. "What do you mean ‘we’?" he jabbed, half-heartedly, voice rough and hoarse.

The look Akai gave him made him feel like a rookie again, and the heat in his face made his raw cheeks burn. "You shouldn’t be somewhere the Organization knows about, right now. So you’re coming with me."

"They know about Kudou’s house," Rei protested, even as he stumbled toward the fire stairs after Akai.

"Which is why we’re going somewhere else." 

Rei sighed and climbed onto the stairs after Akai, wondering if he was this annoying himself, when he was keeping some tentative conclusion behind his teeth. It was hard to hold on to the thought, though, or to noticing the way Akai stayed poised just a few steps below him, as if he thought he might have to catch Rei yet again. By the time they reached Akai’s car, he’d completely lost track of why he should refuse, and climbed into the passenger seat silently.

He didn’t keep good track of the passing streets outside the dark windows. The disorientation seemed of one piece with the fragments of thought that spun through his head, bits of memory and shards of future plans swirling together. Hiro’s quiet laugh. The glint in Conan’s eye when they found that sniper’s name. The number he’d meant to call in a tip to, when the man’s location was nailed down. The lyrics of the first song he and Hiro had ever written. The name of the garage he’d left his own car in. None of his thoughts connected to one another. When they finally stopped, and Akai’s hand under his elbow guided him up some stairs and over to a low bed, he was glad to let those fragments go, to let himself sink down onto the worn blanket and down into the dark as his eyes fell shut.

The last thing he heard was a faint creak of floorboards as Akai sat beside the bed.


Shuuichi was just finishing a message to Conan, agreeing that yes, it would be wise to take some of the Metropolitan police along to the next stop he hoped to find the sniper at, since "Subaru-san" was delayed and Gin might be present, when he heard Furuya stir. He closed his phone and slid back from the little apartment’s low table just a bit, in case it took Furuya a minute to remember why he might not want to kill Shuuichi any more.

When Furuya’s eyes opened, though, they were dark with knowledge and memory, and he pushed himself upright on the bed slowly, as though his whole body ached. Shuuichi silently passed him the tumblr of water waiting on the table, and Furuya took it with a tiny nod. It wasn’t until he’d drained it that he even looked around, and Shuuichi noted that he’d won his bet with himself. Furuya was still in shock. 

Not completely out of it though, because his first question, voice still hoarse despite the water, was, "Where are we?"

"One of my bolt-holes, just over the district border in Edogawa."

As he’d half hoped, though after a longer pause than he liked, a faint smile tugged at Furuya’s mouth. "Edogawa?" 

Shuuichi let his own amusement warm his voice. "It seemed appropriate."

"And you brought me here." Furuya stared at him for a long moment, and finally gestured with an open hand, as it to take in the whole past day. Or possibly the past year. "Why?"

Shuuichi had known that question had to be coming, but he still sighed a little as he leaned his elbows on the table. "Because I’ve lost someone I loved to them, too." 

Furuya blinked at him. "You really loved her, then? Akemi-san?"

And that was why Shuuichi hadn’t really wanted to say it, but Furuya was already wincing at the clumsiness of his own words and Shuuichi couldn’t hold them against him right now. He has his own share of responsibility for Scotch’s death, and for the shape Furuya was currently in. "I did, yes," he said over the beginning of Furuya’s apology. "It was probably unwise, with someone who was only supposed to be a way to get deeper into the Organization, but this job is easy enough to die in as it is. Anything that reminds us we’re alive is worth some risk." The memory of Akemi’s smile flashed through his head, and he pushed himself abruptly to his feet, gathering up his glass and Furuya’s to refill at the sink. When he thought he could keep his voice steady again, he finished, "Even if it ends."

Furuya had his head down when Shuuichi turned around, leaning over with his elbows on his knees, hands hanging loose between them. Shuuichi recognized the shape of it, the braced position that you hoped would hold you steady through something shaking your heart so hard you thought it might stop beating. He’d spent weeks, after Akemi’s death, sitting like that. He set the glasses on the table and sat beside Furuya on the bed. Jodie had spent more than one day sitting beside him like this, just being another living person close enough to hear her breathe, and it had helped.

"Morofushi Hiromitsu," Furuya said, voice low, not lifting his head. "That was his name. We grew up together. After the Academy, when we both chose Public Security, the Tokyo bureau for him and National for me… It was natural to assign him as my liaison, and we did a lot of fieldwork together." Furuya lifted a hand to rub his forehead, shoulders hunching a little tighter. "I was the one who took the assignment to infiltrate the Black Organization. Once I was inside, I asked to bring Hiro in after me." Furuya’s hand banged down on his knee, and his voice turned stifled. "And then, up on that roof… It was my fault…!"

Shuuichi straightened, eyes narrowing at the tight-wound strain in Furuya’s voice. He’d said something similar, once, on the phone with his mother right after hearing about Akemi’s death. She’d nearly reached through the phone to shake him by the scruff, and maybe now he knew why, if he’d sounded anything like this. "It was hardly your fault alone."

Furuya laughed, ragged. "You were the one who told me to think about what he heard right before he pulled the trigger."

Shuuichi frowned; yes, that was more than enough of that. He reached over to take Furuya’s chin and force his head up again. "Three people made choices, that night, Furuya-kun," he told those startled blue eyes, "and we all made mistakes. I shouldn’t have let go of the gun. You shouldn’t have charged in without warning or scouting the situation. He shouldn’t have been so quick to assume the worst and fire before even seeing who it was." Furuya started to shake his head, and Shuuichi tightened his grip. "I’m glad you don’t think I drove him to his death, any more, but that doesn’t mean you should take all of that guilt and pile it on yourself instead."

"I don’t… I’m not…" Furuya’s voice was softer now, much less certain, and trailed off completely at the look Shuuichi gave him. "All right," he finally said, face a little red, eyes falling away from Shuuichi’s.

"Better." Shuuichi started to let go, but his attention was still snagging on something about Furuya’s expression. It wasn’t that dangerous bleakness, any more. In fact, now he was thinking about it, that flush looked less like embarrassment and more like… something else. Especially with the way Furuya’s lips had parted when Shuuichi had grabbed his chin. That had been startlement, yes, but also…

Well, now. Wasn’t that interesting?


Rei was in so much trouble.

He watched Akai’s eyes flick over his cheeks, his mouth, his throat as he swallowed, and he could nearly read the words of the conclusion forming behind that look.

So, so much trouble.

And the thing was, Rei knew this about himself. He was careful about it! He hadn’t had many senpai worth the name in his life; the ones who hadn’t turned away from the halfblood had been scared off by his intelligence, the things he saw, his passion for the chase. So when an older student or agent had stepped up, once or twice, to try to guide him… well, Rei responded pretty intensely. He watched that, in the field, to make sure his little quirk wouldn’t get him into trouble! And now he’d been blindsided by a stern talking-to from Akai Shuuichi of all people, whose brows were lifting just a little, whose thumb was sliding up to stroke gently over Rei’s lower lip. Rei pulled in a quick gasp of breath, stumbling over just the man’s name. "Akai… -san?"

"I wouldn’t mind," Akai murmured, fingers still curled around Rei’s chin. "As long as you’re sure."

"I… it wouldn’t be…" Smart, or sensible, or other reasonable things that he couldn’t quite think of with the warmth of Akai’s fingers against his skin. It had been so long since anyone had really touched him. And Akai… Akai was waiting for him calmly, eyes steady on his.

Anything that reminds us we’re alive is worth some risk.

The words echoed back to him, and they rang so true. So painfully true he had to squeeze his eyes shut against it and try to breathe through it. They’d both risked love and lost it to the Black Organization. Rei understood very well some of the fire that drove Akai, and of all the people he might call on in this moment, of all his allies, old and new, permanent and temporary, Akai Shuuichi was the one who knew right down to the bone how this was driving Rei.

And god but he had to find someone to confide in, to reach out to, before Vermouth started looking like a good option!

He opened his eyes again, calm settling over his spinning thoughts, the familiar certainty of having found the right answer, and answered quietly, "I’m sure."

Akai nodded, unsurprised. "Come here, then." His fingers tipped Rei’s chin up as he leaned in, and Rei really couldn’t help the way his breath caught. In the back of his mind, he was expecting a kiss between the two of them to be fierce, to be heated with the memory of how they’d stalked each other through this city. It wasn’t, though. Akai’s mouth on his was warm and slow, and Rei closed his eyes, leaning into the understanding that warmth told him of, more clearly than any words. Akai slid back to stretch out full-length on the bed, tugging Rei down against him. The steady slide of his hands up and down Rei’s back eased away Rei’s hesitance until he settled against the length of Akai’s body and tucked his head into the curve of Akai’s shoulder. "That’s better," Akai murmured to him, and Rei felt his face heat again. He was never going to be able to listen to that husky voice turn low again without getting turned on, was he?

For as long as they both survived, anyway.

The thought made his fingers wind tighter in the dark cotton of Akai’s shirt, and the corner of Akai’s mouth quirked like he’d heard the words out loud. He slid his hand up to curl around the nape of Rei’s neck. "Easy, Rei. I’ve got you." 

The intimacy of his bare given name tugged a breathless sound out of Rei, sent him pressing closer. "Akai-san…"

Akai turned his head and pressed a kiss to Rei’s forehead. "Shhh. I’m not going anywhere." His lips curved against Rei’s skin. "You should know that better than anyone."

It wasn’t desire that made Rei’s face heat, this time, and he growled a little, thumping Akai on the shoulder when he laughed.

"Easy, easy!" Akai gathered Rei closer and Rei let him, though not without one last glare. Akai smiled down at him, wry and warm. "We’ve both beaten the odds for years. We know how to keep doing it." He hesitated for a breath, but finally finished, "We will keep doing it; even after we’re finished. Deal?"

Rei froze, eyes widening. For one moment it was Hiro’s face he saw, and the private smile they’d shared over agreements. No one else had ever had seen Rei clearly enough to put their finger on the risk that he’d spend his life to finish the last job they’d taken together. And maybe no one else had for Akai, yet, either. Rei swallowed hard and pressed close, ducking his head back down against Akai’s shoulder, suddenly ashamed that he hadn’t let himself see how alike the shape of their actions were, since the business with Miyano. It had been less than a year ago, hadn’t it? And even still raw from that, Akai hadn’t lashed back at the man trying to expose and kill him, had understood, had been amazingly gentle about fending him off, all things considered. Akai didn’t press him now, either, just waited again, fingers sliding slowly through Rei’s hair.

"All right. It’s a deal," he finally agreed, and added more fiercely, "You’d better keep it."

Akai’s arms tightened around him. "I will. After all," his voice lightened again, "I’ve found a number of things around here that make me think it might not be such a bad thing to keep going on."

"Myself, and Conan, and what else?" Rei asked with a sly glance up at him.

Akai’s open laugh warmed him like another kiss and Rei pressed closer, holding tight to that warmth.

Two

Rei had thought it would take longer to get used to working with Akai Shuuichi, instead of against him at every opportunity. The handful of jobs they’d both been sent on, when they were both still in the Organization, had been tense and edgy even before Hiro’s death, neither of them sure of the other, neither of them trusting the other with his back. Rei had thought, after three solid years of enmity, that working together would still be rough.

But it wasn’t.

Three nights ago they’d sat on the roof across from the cafe and the Mouris, talking about a hacking attempt on the agency’s records, plus both Ran and Conan’s school records. They’d throw the thread of reasoning back and forth as smoothly as a shuttle to weave the profile of the hacker, until their eyes had met and neither of them had even needed to speak Bellini’s code name out loud. Rei hadn’t been too very surprised by the shared reasoning, after the number of Conan’s cases they’d met over. But now…

Now he barely needed to glance at his watch to know that Akai was in position, and it was just in time, just as Bellini was about to break through Rei’s defense to Agasa’s records. Rei was folding his tablet as the network icon blinked off, and he smiled, imagining the way Bellini was probably swearing. He stood, dusting off his jeans, and slipped in the fire-door without bothering to glance across the street at the next roof. The crack of quite a high-caliber handgun didn’t make him start; he was expecting it. It did start the timer in his head, and he waited as seconds ticked away, as the door four floors down slammed open and hurried steps started upward, waited until he knew Akai had crossed the street to start down the stairs, letting his heels ring against the concrete. 

"That complex has bulletproof glass on the windows," he’d said, three nights ago.

"But only Level 3, at that age," Akai pointed out, eyes gleaming in the nighttime lights of the city. "She wouldn’t have thought more was necessary. After all—"

"Gin prefers handguns," Rei finished. "Especially his 92. If you’re going to make it across the road inconspicuously, to catch her at the bottom, though, you’ll need—"

"Who do you think you’re talking to again?" Akai asked with a smirk. "I can handle a .50."

Rei excused himself for not knowing that, honestly. Akai had never shown just how much ability he had as a sharp-shooter, in the Organization. Understandably. To do so would have sent him straight to the snipers, and the Organization liked snipers who didn’t ask questions, which meant they had a lot of crazy ones with little intelligence value. Of course, Gin didn’t like anyone who asked questions, which undoubtedly led to both Bellini’s precautions in her living space and the panic behind her hurried footsteps after getting one of her bulletproof windows shot out.

The footsteps below hesitated. Rei took another heavy, measured step and smiled as Bellini reversed and made for the ground floor, clattering downwards and slamming out the back fire-door.

Right into Akai.

By the time Rei reached the ground himself, Akai had just finished zip-tying the unconscious woman’s hands and ankles. He looked up, smile sharp, already reaching out a gloved hand. Rei bared his teeth in answer and handed over the printed note with Bellini’s code name and affiliation, to tuck into her waistband. And, right on time, there were the sirens of the police who would have been called by someone after the gunshot earlier. Rei sprinted after Akai down the back alley.

Around two corners, over a wall with two running steps and a vault that they made in perfect unison, slowly down a well-lit block like two friends out for a drink, quickly down another side-street, and they were safe in an alley with no connection to the first. Rei leaned back against the wall, laughing softly as the rush of triumph swept through him. Akai leaned beside him, breathing just as quick as he was, with a light in his eyes that made Rei think of the gleam on the edge of a sword. Rei knew that light, could feel it burning hot in his veins, and it was that feeling, that knowing, that made him reach out, slide his hands over Akai’s shoulders, curl his fingers in the collar of Akai’s jacket, and pull him down for a kiss. The way Akai’s hands wrapped around his hips and pulled him closer told him that Akai recognized the same thing in him, and he laughed into Akai’s mouth, hooking a leg around Akai’s and grinding up against him.

Yes, Akai was definitely feeling the same thing Rei was.

"Akai-san?" he purred, sliding his hands down over Akai’s chest. He could feel the vibration of Akai’s silent chuckle.

"Yes?"

Rei smiled up at him, hot and wild. "Fuck me. Now."

Akai surged a step forward, bearing Rei back against the wall of the alley, brick prickling along his shoulders. His voice was low and cool, though, and the contrast stroked a shiver up Rei’s spine. "Are you sure? I don’t have anything on me…"

Rei snorted. "What kind of an agent are you? Isn’t ‘always prepared’ the motto of one or another of you lot?"

"I believe that’s the Boy Scouts." Akai’s voice was perfectly sober, at least until Rei fished a foil packet out of his jacket’s inner pocked and slapped it against Akai’s chest. He was laughing as he caught Rei’s mouth again.

Rei only waited until Akai took the packet before he reached down to undo both their pants, reaching into Akai’s to stroke slow fingers down the already-hard length of him. Akai groaned, husky, against his ear. "Rei." 

The sound of that smoky voice wrapped around his bare name slid through Rei, hot, and he hooked his thumbs into his own pants, pushing them down off his hips. "Akai-san, now."

In three quick movements, Akai had the packet ripped open, a handful of slick stroked over his cock, and was sliding his hands under Rei’s thighs to lift him. Rei approved completely, and wound his legs around Akai’s waist, deliberately relaxing into his hands as soon as Akai’s weight pushed him up against the bricks. Akai made an approving sound of his own, and finally Rei felt the blunt press of Akai’s cock against his entrance, pushing into him hard and slow and steady. The fierce stretch of his muscles matched the edge this whole night had had in his senses, and Rei moaned, low and breathless, feeling his body open up for that that burn and slide. "Yes."

"Ah." Akai’s sound of understanding was huskier than usual, but when he pressed a kiss under Rei’s ear, his lips were curved against Rei’s skin. That was all right, though, because he also lifted Rei up a little higher and drove into him hard, which felt just perfect.

Akai fucked him deep and sure, every stroke sinking in and driving him up against the rough brick, and the flood of hot sensation shook loose all the tension of the night and the days running up to it. It was sweet and wild in a way Rei hadn’t felt in years, and it shouldn’t have surprised him that he didn’t last long, but the crest of pleasure still came as a shock. His voice echoed off the close walls as heat burst down his nerves and wrung him out around the hardness of Akai’s cock inside him, and oh it had been too long since he’d had someone close enough to trust with these moments. Akai’s groan, against his ear, told him Akai was still right with him, and it felt so good to know that that he was breathless with it.

When they’d both stilled, they just stayed there for a moment, and Rei let the settling calm sink into him. Finally, though, Akai shifted back and eased Rei down to the ground. Rei winced a little as his muscles protested their rather abrupt workout; it had been worth it, though. 

"Better?" Akai asked quietly, and Rei couldn’t help his chuckle.

"Much." He slid his hands over Akai’s shoulders, thoughtfully. They did seem a bit lower. "And you?"

Akai’s smile was crooked in the shadows of the alley. "Not one of my usual coping methods, but I think I like it." And then he pulled a packet of tissues out of his jacket pocket and handed them over. "A bit messy, but very effective."

It took a moment before Rei could stop laughing and clean up. He really should have known Akai would have exactly this sly sense of humor, after the go-around with the ambush at the Kudou house. At the time, he’d just been too blazingly furious to really consider it.

He’d certainly never expected Akai to be openly protective, and he rolled his eyes a little as they moved toward the lights at the mouth of the alley and Akai’s hand settled at the small of his back. "Akai-san…"

"You know, after this evening, I think you can probably call me Shuuichi. Don’t you?"

Rei paused with a startled glance up at him. This certainly wasn’t the first time they’d had sex.

That wasn’t what Akai had said, though, was it?

The glittering clarity of their work that evening came back to him for a breath, and he remembered the weight of it in his mind, like his gun in his hand, of knowing where Akai was at every step of the way. A tiny shock ran through him with the thought that Akai… that Shuuichi might have felt the same thing. Rei swallowed and took a breath, feeling like all his attention was taken up by the warmth of the hand at his back. His voice was husky when he said, "Shuuichi-san."

Shuuichi smiled, eyes warm for him. "Better."

Out of everything that had happened, that night, that was the thing that made Rei’s face heat, but he didn’t shrug off the hand at the small of his back as Shuuichi guided him out of the alley.

Three

At the sound of five long strokes1 rapped on the back door, Shuuichi marked his place in the book he was reading and switched off his voice-changer. They were rapped considerably harder than was really necessary, so he was expecting it when Rei stalked into the living room glaring fit to set something on fire. He’d been expecting that even before Rei tried to leave dents in the door with his code knock, to be honest. "Long day?" he asked, mildly, crossing his ankles and leaning back against the arm of the couch.

"Kir is an absolute madwoman," Rei snapped, immediately starting to pace the room. "How she’s lived this long, I don’t know. She’s taking ridiculous risks to eavesdrop on Vermouth, of all people, and remind me again why I should be risking my neck for a foreign operative?"

"You diverted Vermouth for her," Shuuichi translated, and cocked his head at the blistering glare Rei gave him. If he was that annoyed… "You mentioned Conan to do it, hm?"

Rei growled and paced another length of the room. "It’s just about the only thing that’s sure to turn her aside. The woman is obsessed! And if I can get her interfering with Rum, all the better."

Shuuichi felt a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. Rei was very good at what he did, and used that expressiveness of his to create just as impenetrable a mask as Shuuichi’s own calm. But he never showed anger, as part of that. Anger was too revealing, for both of them. Rei would smile charmingly while he pulled the trigger. 

He never showed open temper to anyone but Shuuichi, and the intimacy of that always settled warmth into places that had been cold for years and frozen hard for months. 

On Rei’s next pass by the couch, he reached out to catch Rei’s wrist, returning Rei’s irritated look with a calm, "Come here." He tugged until Rei huffed and let himself be pulled down to the couch to stretch out with Shuuichi. "Vermouth won’t do anything to hurt Conan," he said quietly, running his fingers through the fine texture of Rei’s hair.

"I know that, that’s why I did it." Rei still sounded snappish, but Shuuichi could feel the subtle tension in Rei’s body easing. Sometimes, he knew very well, even they needed to hear a conclusion echoed by someone else. Who knew if he’d have been able to carry through the plan that had landed him on this very couch as Okiya Subaru without Kudou’s fierce (if pint-sized) agreement and backing?

And if he hadn’t landed here, who knew if he’d have ever come so close to Rei, again, that he’d need to force the issue of what happened on the roof the night Morofushi had died? Thinking of that, he settled Rei closer against him. Rei promptly undid his effort by leaning up on an elbow to examine him, but softened against him almost immediately, settling close again. "I thought I was the one getting wound up, today," Rei murmured against his shoulder.

"You are," Shuuichi told him, and chuckled silently when Rei thumped him on the other shoulder. "It was just a passing thought."

It wasn’t really a surprise when Rei said, quietly, "I’m not going anywhere." They knew each other’s minds so well, after years of sparring in the shadows. He gathered Rei closer and pressed a kiss to his temple.

"I know."

The entire length of Rei’s body unwound against him, at the quiet certainty in Shuuichi’s voice, and Shuuichi smiled against his hair, settling back against the couch cushions.

They knew each other’s minds and responses so very well.

Four

"You’re just incapable of not looking alarming, aren’t you?" Rei smirked at the raised brow Shuuichi gave him. 

He was teasing, but at the moment it was also true. In the middle of a club full of people dancing, drinking, laughing, shouting, Shuuichi was a silent, watching shadow. Plenty of people in here wore black, but Shuuichi wore it with a definite air of being working clothes rather than play clothes. That and an unsmiling expression seemed to be keeping everyone but Rei at arm’s length, despite the crush.

"Stop worrying about me," Shuuichi told him, putting his finger directly on why Rei was teasing, of course, which made Rei’s smile turn sharper. "I don’t dislike being here."

Rei flicked a glance up and down Shuuichi’s body, noting the way his weight was on his heels, and completed the sentence for him. "You just don’t dance."

Now it was Shuuichi’s mouth that curved, sharp and pleased. "Mm." He plucked the drink from Rei’s hand and set it down beside his own, supplying an iron-clad reason, for any watchers, why he was staying at the table. "Go have fun."

Rei laughed out loud and turned for the dance floor. He loved the electric flow of thought and perception between them; there was nothing quite as much fun as that. He had come to dance, though, and that would be fun too. He was kind of overdue, actually.

This was one of the reasons he’d lasted as long as he had in his current cover, after all. He was careful. Not just the way all agents were taught to be careful—with what they said and where they went and who they saw. But also careful to make room in every cover for something that the core of him loved. For music in some form. For crowds and sound and moving to a beat. For food he could make with his own hands. He might have gone out as Furuya Rei, tonight, but Amuro Tohru was also with him, and there was a wild laugh in the back of his head whenever Amuro remembered he was out with Akai Shuuichi at his side.

It was a good night to dance.

Aside from an absence of Organization interest, Rei had broad standards for acceptable clubs. This one had generally cheerful crowds, mostly palatable drinks, and actually quite a good DJ, so it he was marking it a success. It also had the usual share of cheerful groping out in the surge of moving bodies, but nothing he’d have to break anyone’s fingers for yet, so he shook his head, laughing, at the most persistent young woman and gave himself up to the rhythm driving out of the tall speakers. It resonated in his chest, drove the sway of his hips and opened up the swing of his arms until he felt like he was breathing all the way down in his lungs again.

He was drenched by the time he finally decided it was time for a drink and pushed his way back off the floor to the table Shuuichi was still holding down. He was entertained to see that, despite the crowd, no one was even looking suggestively at the empty stools on the far side of it. He broke out of the crowd and fetched up beside Shuuichi, catching up his now-acceptably-watery drink and finishing it in three long swallows. "Thanks for watching it," he teased, smirking up at Shuuichi, knowing that it was the people Shuuichi had undoubtedly spent most of his time watching.

"Mm, it’s an excellent evening for watching things, yes." Rei saw the gleam in his eyes, but was still startled when Shuuichi reached out, set his hand against Rei’s back, and pulled him in close, so firmly Rei stumbled against him, hands spread against Shuuichi’s chest to catch himself.

"What…?" he started, laughing, only to lose it on a gasp as Shuuichi set a knuckle under his chin and tipped it up. "Shuuichi-san?" he asked, considerably more breathless than a moment ago.

"I noticed quite a few people getting pretty familiar with you, out there." The gleam was definitely wicked amusement, Rei noted, despite considerable distraction. "Since you brought a scary-looking companion along, you might as well get the full benefit out of it." 

Rei had just connected the dots when Shuuichi tipped his chin up a little further and kissed him, deep and slow and thorough, and Rei’s inarticulate sound of maybe-protest-maybe-not slid into a breathless moan. His thoughts tangled between mischievous glee and a little honest shock at being so public. His senses overrode all of it for a long moment, though, with the lean, warm line of Shuuichi’s body against his, the slide of Shuuichi’s fingers into his hair to cradle his head, the heat of Shuuichi’s mouth and the wet stroke of his tongue against Rei’s. When Shuuichi finally drew back, smiling down at him, still with that wicked quirk at the corner of his mouth, it took Rei a second to pull words together. It came out a little husky when he said, "That wasn’t necessary."

"Probably not, but it was fun." 

Rei couldn’t help laughing at that deadpan delivery. "And is that why you still haven’t let go, yet?" Which was making sure the flush of heat over his skin didn’t go away; he could feel the eyes on them, from the surrounding tables and possibly even from the dance floor, watching how close Shuuichi was holding him.

It hadn’t taken him long at all to realize that Akai Shuuichi liked to tease, if he thought you could take it.

"That too, certainly." Shuuichi’s hand against his back spread wider, thumb sliding under the edge of Rei’s shirt to stroke against bare skin, and the sensation pushed Rei up onto his toes against Shuuichi’s body. "But I was also serious, Rei. If you don’t enjoy something, there’s no reason to tolerate it. Not here. Not right now."

Rei closed his eyes and let out a shaky breath. He knew that Shuuichi had seen the hunger, in him, for a guiding voice. Shuuichi teased him about it enough, after all. But that was just it; Shuuichi teased him, let it be an inside joke between them. Except that, every now and then, he turned it real, and those moments shook Rei. "I wont, then," he agreed, softly. 

Pressed up this close, he could feel Shuuichi’s silent laugh. "Not now you won’t, no."

Rei reflected on the likely effect of having a tall, dark, dangerous looking boyfriend standing on the sidelines watching over him, after a display of apparent possessiveness like this, and had to laugh out loud. He pushed back, hands against Shuuichi’s chest, teeth bared in the flashing lights of the club. "I’d better go take advantage of it, then, shouldn’t I?"

Shuuichi let him go easily, mouth curling up at one corner. "You should, yes." 

Rei’s own smile softened helplessly at that encouragement, the unspoken assurance of Shuuichi’s support that ran under it. "I will, then." He would accept it. He would trust it, this alliance between them. Shuuichi nodded silently and held Rei’s eyes until he spun to dive back into the crowd of dancers.

All of whom suddenly minded their hands much more carefully.

Rei stretched his arms up to the glare of spotlights above, whole body arching up on his toes, head tipped back as he laughed. Some people might think he was crazy for giving this much trust to the man he’d tried to kill for three years, but those years were exactly why he knew he could. The wonder of having an ally he would rely on lifted him up like the beat of the music, and he let it. This was a rhythm he could dance to.

It felt amazing

Five

Shuuichi pressed closer up against his lover’s back and nipped at Rei’s nape, lips curving at the breathless sound Rei made.

He loved Rei’s contradictions. His precise reasoning and his impetuous actions. His sweet manners and his cutting ruthlessness. His fashion-conscious looks and his ability to fade out of people’s attention.

His iron will and his desire to be overruled.

It had taken Shuuichi a while to be sure how deep that last one ran. He’d never really had that wish. For Shuuichi, the desire that lived deep in his heart was to have his judgement trusted by those he trusted and loved. For Rei, though, who seemed not to have had much support he could lean on for a very long time… well, he wanted some. Provided that support could prove itself to him. Given Rei himself, Shuuichi wasn’t sure anyone besides Shuuichi himself would pass—an older agent who could match Rei’s brilliance and skill, who knew exactly what it was to take dubious actions while fighting to keep hold of your soul. Shuuichi was possibly the only person in the country right now who Rei would trust to overrule him.

This evening, Shuuichi was finally sure enough to that trust that he was prepared to act on it, further than just teasing.

He leaned up on one elbow and tugged Rei over onto his back, smiling down at him. Rei was always lovely, but there was something more elemental about his beauty, like this, flushed and relaxed, skin nearly glowing against the white of the sheets. When he ran his fingers through Rei’s hair, Rei tipped his head back, nearly purring with pleasure at the simple touch.

"Yes," Shuuichi told him, softly. "Just like that." He leaned down and closed his mouth on Rei’s neck, sucking firmly enough to mark.

Rei arched up taut against him, hands closing hard on Shuuichi’s shoulders. "Shuuichi-san…!" He sounded shocked, and Shuuichi wasn’t surprised; they’d been careful not to mark each other anywhere that would show, until now.

"Hush, Rei," he said, quiet but firm, satisfied at the shiver that ran through Rei. Shuuichi stroked his tongue over the mark and Rei pressed against him harder, breath coming short.

"Shuuichi-san…" Rei’s voice was a little uneven, now, and Shuuichi wound an arm around him, cradling him close.

"Hush, I said." When Rei did finally hush, he brushed a soft kiss over Rei’s lips. "What’s the point of having learned excellent disguise skills if they can’t hide a love-bite or two?"

Rei was staring up at him, eyes wide at the suggestion that Shuuichi would use those skills for something like this, and it took him a moment to whisper, "Oh."

Shuuichi smiled and caught Rei’s chin, feeling the pulse against his thumb speed up. "Easy, Rei. I have you." It was what he’d told Rei that very first night, and he could feel the memory easing the tension in Rei’s body even as Rei’s breath came faster. When Shuuichi kissed him again, deeper this time, Rei moaned softly into his mouth, and Shuuichi made a satisfied sound. "That’s good."


Rei shuddered as Shuuichi’s mouth moved down his throat again, heat curling low in his stomach. He’d known Shuuichi understood, but he hadn’t expected him to take that understanding this far. Which had been, he was realizing, very foolish of him. Akai Shuuichi had never been a man who did things half-heartedly.

Re’s heart was still beating fast from the jolt of his response to Shuuichi hushing him so firmly, and when Shuuichi’s teeth closed, hard enough to mark his skin again, Rei nearly came right there and then, hips bucking up sharply against Shuuichi. The sound Shuuichi made could only be called a purr, and it stroked down Rei’s spine like a finger. The wet heat of Shuuichi’s mouth slid down to his chest, scattering slow kisses down his body, and Rei’s eyes widened as Shuuichi’s hands stroked down his thighs, caressing and sure, and spread them wide for Shuuichi to settle between them. "Shuuichi-san…"

Those sharp, green eyes flicked up to meet his, and Shuuichi smiled, a slow curl of lips that made Rei shiver. And then Shuuichi’s hands closed around Rei’s hips, pinning him firmly in place against the bed. Heat surged through him before Shuuichi’s mouth even touched his cock, and when slick, wet heat did wrap around him, Rei lost any hope of coherent thought and groaned out loud. Shuuichi’s mouth moved over him, slow and deliberate, and Shuuichi’s hands held him still for it however Rei pulled against his grip as pleasure stroked down every nerve.

It felt so good. So good to be safe in hands he trusted. To know he could, for just a little while, relax and know someone else would do the worrying. That was the feeling that undid him in the end, shaking him apart in a wild burst of pleasure that Shuuichi held him steady through.

When he’d recovered enough of his scattered thoughts to put one next to another again, Shuuichi had settled beside him and gathered him up close. Rei lifted his head from Shuuichi’s shoulder to look up at his lover, still a little stunned. "Shuuichi-san—" he broke off with a tiny gasp as Shuuichi pressed a finger to his lips. Even completely wrung out, that still sent heat curling through him.

"You’re the one who’s still under as one of the Organization, without the support you must have counted on when you first took the assignment," Shuuichi said quietly, holding Rei’s eyes. "You deserve this. You deserve everything I can do for you, Rei."

Rei sucked in a hard breath, arms tightening hard around Shuuichi. He’d never had anyone actually say that to him, and he had to blink back water in his eyes with the enormity of it. "Shh," Shuuichi told him, pressing Rei’s head back down to his shoulder, and Rei made a small sound of agreement, curling close.


Shuuichi cuddled Rei close, one hand sliding up and down his back, soothing him. Slowly, the faint hitch in Rei’s breath evened out and the fierce tightness of his arms around Shuuichi’s ribs relaxed a little. It seemed, he reflected a bit ruefully, that he was doomed to lovers who didn’t say anything was wrong until they were nearly breaking. Admittedly, he knew he hadn’t been much better, himself, for some time. Jodie had had enough to say on that subject that he was aware of how he’d been slipping. He just hadn’t been able to stop. He’d been heading for a crash, had even started to see the shadow of the wall ahead of him.

Until a pint-sized detective had looked up at him with a gleam in his eyes, confident that they were thinking the same outrageous thing, and proposed a way to make it work.

And just like that, his life had opened up again, had filled with the Kudous, with Agasa and the children, with whole divisions of the Tokyo police. With Shiho, not dead after all, not yet beyond reach of his promise to Akemi. With Furuya Rei, the last one he’d expected to settle this deep into his heart. Shuuichi rested his cheek against Rei’s hair, smiling small and crooked. One of these days, he’d have to find a way to thank the boy.

Rei stirred and lifted his head to eye Shuuichi a bit suspiciously. "You’re laughing. I can feel it. What’s so funny?"

Imagining Kudou’s face if Shuuichi ever specified exactly what he was thanking Kudou for, Shuuichi couldn’t help chuckling out loud. "Just thinking about how surprising our lives have gotten."

Rei snorted. "Of course you think that’s amusing. You have the worst hobbies."

He was smiling as he snuggled close again, though, and Shuuichi’s own smile softened. He didn’t like a lot of how they’d gotten here, but this… this was good.

This was something he’d hold on to.

End

1. International Morse code for 0 is five dashes. back

Candles Lit at the Doors

Finding a Path

The road that led past the river north of Jinling was a good one for racing on. It got less traffic than the others, and ran fairly flat until it reached the tree line. Yujin had raced Jingrui down this stretch many a time, once they were both old enough to be let out on their own horses without an older cousin to mind them.

Today they gave their horses their heads, but it wasn’t a race. They rode close all the way to the trees, horses running shoulder to shoulder, slowing together as they passed between the first tall trunks. Yujin waited until they were well under the unfolding spring leaves before he spoke.

“It’s really true, then.”

Jingrui flashed a bright smile over at him. “It really is.” And then he looked faintly hangdog. “I’m sorry I didn’t say, in the winter, when he first visited. Aunt Jing made me promise not to.”

Yujin waved that off, scoffing. “Don’t worry so much; of course you kept quiet if she asked.” He did give Jingrui a long, searching look as they turned onto the path to the river, though. “That’s why you’ve been thinking about returning to the military, though, isn’t it?” He’d wondered about that, a little. He knew Jingrui had stayed in contact with some of his men, even once their year-long obligation was up, and he’d been watching the capital patrols with a more and more considering look in his eye all winter.

Jingrui smiled down at his horse’s neck. “A little.” They reined in at the edge of a clearing by the river’s wide bend and dismounted as one. They’d always moved together, like that, but Yujin was starting to wonder how much longer they could do so. His own military experiences, so far, had left him ambivalent, aware he could likely be a good commander but sickened by the waste of every fight, and furious that some ambitious fool’s failure of thought had made it necessary. Though he admitted he’d felt somewhat less of that under Lin Shu’s direction, on the north border.

“Everything I’ve heard says he’ll never take the field again,” he said to his saddle, loosening the reins so his horse could drink from the river. “You would never be under his command again.”

“Not in the field,” Jingrui agreed. “But… well, it’s Lin Shu ge-ge. If he’s back, then…”

Yujin couldn’t help the grin that tugged at his mouth. “Then he’ll be the one in charge anyway.” Only Prince Jing had ever really been able to stand firm against Lin Shu’s impatient assumption of command, and the Crown Prince certainly wasn’t going to be refusing any military distribution the brilliant Vice-Marshal of Chiyan might advise. Not after the battle at the northern border had demonstrated so conclusively that Lin Shu had lost none of his tactical brilliance. Yujin pulled his horse gently back from the water and tied it so he could walk around to join Jingrui at the water’s edge. “You’re sure, then?” he asked, quietly.

“I think so.” Jingrui gave him a bright, open smile, elbowing him lightly. “So, what about you?”

Very few of Yujin’s reservations had ever held up in face of Jingrui’s smile. Not when they were little and stealing sweets off Aunt Jing’s table (with her amused connivance, Yujin had realized years later); not when they were a little older and Jingrui had dragged Yujin everywhere after their glamorous, if also sometimes alarming, older cousins; not when they’d come of age and Jingrui hauled Yujin out onto the roads to wander the country with that very same smile. He could barely imagine leaving Jingrui’s side, at this point. So there was really nothing else to do but elbow him back until they managed to shove each other into the shallows, laughing.


In the end, it was Meng Zhi’s still-pressing need for commanders he could trust without question that quashed the last of Yujin’s reservations. Because he could see the uncertainty, at every gathering he attended, hanging in the air like smoke—the doubt in the eyes of nobles and ministers alike, whenever they looked sidelong at the Imperial Guard, or even the City Guard. He’d learned young how dangerous that kind of doubt and fear could be, and had no intention of letting his loved ones live in that kind of capital again, if he could do anything to help it.

“You’re sure you won’t mind?” he asked his father, a little hesitantly, as they sat together over wine in the evening. “I know our family is a scholarly one, it’s just… I feel as though I could do something, there.”

His father’s mouth quirked faintly under his mustache. “If I’d minded you taking up martial pursuits, I’d have needed to do something about it a long time ago.”

That was not, Yujin had to observe, actually a ‘no’, and he chewed on his lip behind his cup.

This time his father laughed, quietly. “It’s fine, Yujin. You did well, dealing with both politics and battle two years ago, and you obviously already know how to listen for what’s not said.” He settled back a little on his cushion though his eyes were still sharp and thoughtful, resting on Yujin. “The Imperial Guard isn’t a bad place from which to watch the workings of the court and the ministries. I doubt that’s what Jingrui needs or will find in it, but for you… well, go and see.”

Something in Yujin relaxed, hearing that, something deeper than his concern for his father’s approval, the hot thread of outrage that curled tight every time he saw yet another thing about the capital that was still broken in the aftermath of the princes’ fight for the throne. “It just… it makes me so angry, sometimes, to see what always seems to lead up to an actual battle,” he admitted, looking down.

“What, stupidity?” his father asked, blandly, taking a sip of his wine. He smiled a little at the sputter of laughter Yujin couldn’t hold back. “That’s why I’m not worried, boy. You’re true blood of the Yan lineage. You’ll never be content to fix the results when you could be laying hands on the cause.”

Yujin took a deep breath, feeling the words settle into his heart and ring true, there. “Yes,” he agreed, softly. And then he had to sigh a little, as his heart did a prompt and familiar about-face and tugged in the other direction. “Jingrui…”

“Jingrui has to follow his own path.” His father softened the flat statement by laying a hand on Yujin’s shoulder, and added, “That doesn’t mean your paths can’t go in the same direction, if you both choose.”

Yujin paused, suddenly remembering the handful of times he’d heard his father refer to ‘Lin Xie da-ge’ in his hearing, always with affection and fierce loyalty, and nodded slowly. “I’ll remember, Father.” He still didn’t like the thought of not being right at Jingrui’s side, but… perhaps it truly would be enough to travel the same way, if not quite the same road.

He would hope so.

And for now, at least, they could go together. He didn’t have to try to explain another road to Jingrui, yet. He would hold tight to that, while he could.


Li Gang stepped past the house servant who’d shown him through to the Chief’s rooms, here in Prince Jing’s city manor, and gave the Chief a quick look up and down. He looked far less like a man trying to outrun a slowly festering gut wound, these days. He also snorted as Li Gang and Zhen Ping bowed.

“I’m fine, yes, and don’t try to tell me you haven’t been in communication with our members in the Imperial Guard, to get reports on me, all this time.”

Li Gang exchanged rueful looks with Zhen Ping, and didn’t try to deny it. “You called for us, Chief,” he said, instead.

“Mm.” The Chief jotted a note on the lists spread over his writing table, and said, in the thoughtful tone that meant he was saying more than it sounded like, “Neither of you have accepted reinstatement, yet.”

This time, the look Li Gang traded with Zhen Ping was wary. “It didn’t feel right, without you in command.” He could hear the faint edge of entreaty in his own voice, and didn’t try to stifle it, because if the Chief was about to give the orders it sounded like he was thinking of…

The Chief looked up, eyes steady on them. “You had a chance to see a bit of how Xiao Jingrui and Yan Yujin commanded, at the north border. What did you think?”

Li Gang blinked a little, but he was used to not being able to follow the Chief’s quicksilver turns of thought. He settled back and considered. “They’re both strong warriors, and not afraid to lead from the front. They’re not as good, yet, at keeping a whole unit’s position in mind, when they’re fighting, but I thought they both had potential, as commanders.”

“Yan Yujin is better at strategy than Xiao Jingrui,” Zhen Ping put in. “At least right now. Yan Yujin thinks more. But Xiao Jingrui…” He raised a brow at Li Gang and Li Gang nodded agreement.

“Xiao Jingrui has stronger command presence, with the men.”

“It’s not that Yan Yujin doesn’t have it,” Zhen Ping added, “but he doesn’t throw it out into the world, as Xiao Jingrui does. In time, the men would follow Yan Yujin, with a good will, because they’d know he’d make wise choices. But they’ll follow Xiao Jingrui right now, because he calls on their hearts.”

“Romantic,” Li Gang accused, under his breath.

“Not like you don’t agree,” Zhen Ping muttered back.

From the smile the Chief was stifling, he’d heard that.

“There is one thing, about Yan Yujin, though,” Zhen Ping said, slowly. “I noticed it at Jiu An. Most of the time, in the field, he’s a thinker. But he has a streak of savagery in him, when he’s protecting something. That day, with his father, and then Gong Yu, behind him… he never took a single step back toward those stairs. Not one.”

Li Gang’s brows rose; that had been a close, bloody fight, from everything he’d heard. For someone who’d never experienced a battlefield before to hold his ground so hard… yes, ‘savage’ was a good word for it. That could be a helpful tool, in the field, but it could also get a lot of people killed. “It would almost be ideal for them to be co-commanders, then, wouldn’t it?” he mused.

A faint huff of laughter escaped the Chief. “Except for the part where Jingrui is one of those things Yujin would defend to the death,” he pointed out, dryly. “But what is it in Jingrui that makes you think so?”

Li Gang settled himself more firmly into the familiar flow of reporting to the Chief, focused on question and answer, and never mind the side-tracks the Chief himself might dart down. All Li Gang had to do was answer the questions as they came. “He’s protective enough, but he doesn’t fight to protect, and he doesn’t get lost in that urge. He fights for his ideals. What he wants is to help.”

“Hmm.” The Chief settled back in his chair with a distant look in his eye. “Help whom?” he murmured.

“His friends. His people. His nation.” Li Gang thought for a moment, about what he’d seen of the young man, at the north border. “The nation, that part is still unformed. He’s not very fond of the government, and who can blame him? But having traveled as much as he has, he’s seen a lot of the people. His men kept mentioning that he recognized where a lot of their homes were. He values the wellbeing of those people he met.”

The Chief was smiling. “Yes. For a young man who never had the slightest ambition for the scholar’s way, Jingrui does a fine job of embodying righteousness and benevolence.”

“He still assumes those in others a little too much, but,” Li Gang shrugged, “that’s what makes the men respond to him, too. At the north border, he fell very easily in with the brotherhood of soldiers. He just needs to learn not to trust everything reported to him.”

“So Jingrui will be well, with a little more seasoning and a commander he believes in,” the Chief mused. “And Yujin will need someone to watch his back.” He straightened and looked directly at them again, tone slipping out of thought and into command. “Jingrui and Yujin are both considering entering the Imperial Guard, this season. I need some experienced officers under them, to keep an eye on them. Zhen Ping, you’ll go to Yujin. Li Gang, you will go to Jingrui.”

“Chief…” Li Gang half-protested, looking at Zhen Ping for support.

“If we’re reinstated, that isn’t something we can go back from easily,” Zhen Ping agreed, just as anxious as Li Gang felt.

“Nor is the Palace somewhere I can easily return from, any more,” the Chief said quietly.

That halted them both, and Li Gang turned this new charge around, in his head. If the Chief was part of the Palace, now, and they returned into the Jin army, they’d be closer to hand than anyone but the Palace eunuchs could get.

And Li Gang didn’t really want to become a Palace official, at his time of life.

Relief spread, warm, through his chest, and he bowed, Zhen Ping a second behind him. “Yes, Chief.”

“Tomorrow, then.” The Chief gave them a sharp nod that was so very much their Vice-Marshal’s gesture, Li Gang had to brace himself against the spike of nostalgia, so intense it was nearly pain, like hot blood rushing back into a long-deadened limb.

He’d been with the Chief long enough, he didn’t think for one second that it was accidental.

“So, we’re going back,” Zhen Ping murmured, as they stepped out into the slanting, early evening sunlight.

“With yet more of the family, to look after,” Li Gang agreed, a little ruefully.

“At least they can’t possibly be as much trouble as the Vice-Marshal and the Prince were.” Zhen Ping sounded hopeful, but Li Gang winced a little.

“Don’t tempt fate.”

Zhen Ping laughed, quietly. “All right, but at least the capital barracks are supposed to be better than the border cities.”

Li Gang finally smiled. “Now that, I’ll drink to.”

Following a Path

It didn’t actually take Yujin long to settle in to his new work. From his point of view, not a great deal changed.

There was training and drill, but that had always been true, especially once Dong jie-jie had started taking his training seriously. There were suddenly a lot more people he was responsible for, but he’d been the one looking after the Yan household for a long time, and just like he had the steward and housekeeper at home, he had sergeants to help with his battalion.

(The first day he’d met his unit, and watched the man he still thought of as Mei Changsu’s personal swordmaster step forward, with a professionally blank face, to hand over the tally of his men, he’d been startled enough to ask, “What, really?”

“You’re his family, Commander,” Zhen Ping had said, under his breath but apparently quite calm. “Of course he wants to make sure you’re taken care of.”

Yujin hadn’t quite had the nerve to protest, at the time, and he had to admit that Zhen Ping was very helpful.)

And he and Jingrui were both currently assigned to the bulk of the Jin army garrisoned outside the Palace itself. So, really, Yujin was feeling a great deal like this was an extension of his travels with Jingrui, except that both of them actually went home at night.

It was possible that their ‘business as usual’ approach was not endearing them to their superior, though.

“You want to do what, now?” Sun Wen, the Army Vice-Commander they both reported to squinted at them like he might be getting a headache.

“A mock battle,” Jingrui repeated, brightly. “It’ll keep everyone from getting too bored and losing their edge.”

“They like being bored,” Sun Wen pointed out, a bit dryly. “The alternative to bored is called ‘battle’. And frankly, we want hundreds of soldiers all crammed together to have less of an edge to them than a couple of hot-blooded young warriors used to gallivanting around as they please. Just for example.”

That was definitely to their address, and Yujin stepped in to deflect it with a hopeful smile. “Varying the way they train will keep their skills sharper, won’t it?”

“Which is exactly why we have several mock battles a year, out on the plains, about which you’ll be informed in good time.” Sun Wen picked up the report he’d put down when they entered.

“This would be indoors, though.” Jingrui leaned forward, earnestly. “Won’t that be good training for our Palace rotation?”

“Indoors?” Sun Wen looked up at them, brows arched incredulously. “Where, exactly, do you think we have space for two battalions to go at each other indoors?”

“The old Zhang manor, in the west-central district,” Yujin supplied promptly. “Old Man Zhang’s daughter has been trying to convince him to have it knocked down and rebuilt for years. If the army rents it for a while, then he’s happy because it isn’t getting knocked down yet, and she’s happy because they’ll be getting more money to eventually rebuild it, and we get an interior practice area that’s almost as complex as some of the Palace.”

“So everyone’s happy, hm?” Sun Wen eyed the two of them, and Yujin gave him his very best reassuring smile. Sun Wen snorted. “All right, you seem to be reasonably organized about this; you can try it once. But if there are too many injuries out of this, and the physicians come after you, I’m going to leave you to their mercies. Just keep that in mind.”

Yujin immediately thought of Aunt Jing’s scoldings and quailed. From the look of trepidation on Jingrui’s face, he was remembering exactly the same thing. “Yes, sir,” Jingrui hastened to assure the Army Vice-Commander. “We’ll make sure everyone is careful.”

“Do so.” Sun Wen nodded dismissal in answer to their bows, and picked up his reports again. And if he was shaking his head as Yujin left on Jingrui’s heels, well, at least they’d gotten permission to convince him.

Yujin grinned at Jingrui as they clattered down the steps to Wen’s office, and Jingrui grinned back, and they clapped each other on the shoulders, laughing. This should be fun. Also productive, of course, because that’s what they were here for, after all, but it was very gratifying to find that he could still combine the two, now and then.

Perhaps he could find uses for more than his martial skills around here, after all. The thought made him relax under Jingrui’s hand, smiling.


Zhen Ping crept after his Commander through tall, dry weeds beside a weathered breezeway, and had to hold back a smile. He’d wondered, a little, how much of Yan Yujin’s determined pleasure in life would survive something like Jiu An, especially once he took a military post. But his Commander’s eyes were bright, and he grinned as he watched their forward scouts sneak up to the tattered doors of the next hall and signaled Zhen Ping for two more squads to follow them. That cheer seemed to ripple out through the men who caught a glimpse of him, like a gust of wind through grass.

Zhen Ping observed that, and thought about the fact that Yan Yujin did seem to have a good instinct for the morale of his men, and finally asked the question that had been nagging at him. “So, for this exercise, we’re supposed to be rescuing a Minister from kidnappers who are holding him in his Palace offices, aren’t we?”

“Exactly,” Yan Yujin agreed, and added thoughtfully, “It’s really too bad we can’t use the actual offices, but I suppose that would be too much disruption.”

Zhen Ping took a moment to offer silent and fervent thanks that his Commander hadn’t suggested that plan to Army Vice-Commander Sun Wen. Sun Wen had been recalled from retirement to fill one of the two posts left empty (again) after the executions that had followed Prince Yu’s rebellion. He didn’t have a reputation as a harsh man, but the whole Jin army knew that his patience had a definite limit, after how briskly he’d restored order among his battalion Commanders. Thinking on the Army Vice-Commander’s potential lack of amusement with them, Zhen Ping was a little cautious when he asked the next question. “If that’s so, sir, then why do I keep hearing Commander Xiao’s men yelling about having spotted the kidnappers?”

“Because their objective is to defend a Minister against the attack of kidnappers who have penetrated the Palace offices,” Yan Yujin said, quite calmly, eyes on the progress of the men clearing the hall ahead.

Zhen Ping had been afraid that was going to be the answer. “Sir,” he started, searching for a respectful way to put this, “isn’t that a little too…”

“Realistic?” Yujin’s smile was crooked, now.

Zhen Ping had been thinking ‘cynical’ and still was, but ‘realistic’ also worked. “Yes, sir.”

“That’s the all clear sign,” Yan Yujin said, instead of answering. “Come on.”

Zhen Ping ran forward on his heels, keeping a sharp eye out for anywhere around the dilapidated court that bowmen might be hidden. Li Gang believed quite devoutly in extra precautions, and Xiao Jingrui turned out to have a good eye for crossfire positions, as they’d already found out once. Over fifty men had had to retire, grumbling, with ink-spattered armor showing where they’d been shot.

It wasn’t until they were safely under a rear window, with scouts ducking underneath the breezeways to crawl forward again, that Yan Yujin said, quietly, “Jingrui said people fight better if it’s for the right reason. And I didn’t want any of our men thinking too long about being asked to attack the government.” He looked over his shoulder at Zhen Ping, eyes steady. “If anyone asks, we thought it would be a good joke, for both sides to actually have the same objective.”

Zhen Ping couldn’t help giving an abbreviated bow to that level expression. “Yes, sir.”

He still thought that it was Yan Yujin who had the better strategic sense, but the longer he spent at Yan Yujin’s side, the more he heard ‘Jingrui wants’ or ‘Jingrui said’. He was starting to wonder if Yan Yujin ever really did anything on his own account or for his own sake, or if, perhaps, someone should suggest the idea to him.

And then one of the scouts popped out of the long weeds, signaling back that they’d found an opening, and Yan Yujin lit up, laughing. “We’ve got them!” He bounced up onto his toes and dashed forward.

Or perhaps, Zhen Ping reflected, ruefully, as he sprinted after his Commander, he’d better save his worrying for keeping his charge in one piece right now, and let the future take care of itself.


Yujin loved sparring with Jingrui. Jingrui’s sword form was beautiful, full of clean, sharp turns that swept aside any weakness in defense, meeting his blade only to spin aside and suddenly return from another angle. Yujin was, justifiably he thought, proud of the demonstrated effectiveness of his own style, but sparring with Jingrui was like playing a line of music.

Of course, all that sleek economy of motion and momentum did tend to mean that he often got worn down before Jingrui did, when they fought with swords.

“Ha!” Jingrui’s eyes were bright as the line of his sword settled delicately against Yujin’s neck. “Finally got you!”

“What ‘finally’?!” Yujin demanded, laughing and out of breath, as cheers and groans broke out from their spectators around the drill field. “You think you shouldn’t have to work for your win?” He tossed his sword back to his off hand and elbowed Jingrui as Jingrui flung an arm around his neck.

“Should I have to work, against you?” Jingrui teased, leaning against him until Yujin rolled his eyes and shifted his weight to dump him off, one of the most useful moves Dong jie-jie had ever taught him. Jingrui stepped through, graceful as ever, to catch his balance, laughing.

“Time to give someone else a chance, you two,” one of the onlookers called out, and Yujin looked up to see Wan Fa, the Commander who’d been shifted over to take Jin’s Second battalion while Yujin took over the Fourth from him. A little murmur of anticipation ran through the noise of bets changing hands, around them, enough to make Yujin nod to himself.

The battalion hadn’t been in bad shape, when Yujin took it, not the way Jingrui’s had been, with their previous Commander dismissed from service, the company captains anxious or wincing, and the sergeants uniformly grim. But Yujin was used to listening for what wasn’t said, and that wasn’t only useful in keeping a party going cheerfully. He’d watched his men watching him, seen how his captains’ shoulders eased down when he’d called them in, that first month, and asked about the distribution of men and equipment across each company, whether anyone needed him to go argue for extra from the Logistics Bureau or needed to be on light duty while they got new men trained up.

The battalion hadn’t been in bad shape, but it hadn’t been well cared for. It had made Yujin think of what Yan Manor might have been like, without him, for the years his father had had his mind on other things. And that made him smile at Wan Fa with just a bit more teeth than usual, and say cheerfully, “I was thinking of a round unarmed. You interested?”

Jingrui’s brows rose for just a moment, because normally an unarmed match was Yujin’s chance to get his own back from Jingrui, if he’d lost with swords, but one look at Yujin’s smile made Jingrui clap him on the shoulder and agree, brightly, “I wanted to steal Zhen Ping for a little, anyway!”

They exchanged a quick, complicit grin and Jingrui faded back into the onlookers, positively smirking. Yujin sheathed his sword and stepped back out, re-settling himself, waiting for Wan Fa to come at him.

As he’d more than half expected, Wan Fa had no problem with making the first move, and a showy move at that, a broad, circling strike at Yujin’s ribs. Yujin’s smile thinned, and he shifted for a high, sweeping kick, arm snaking out to lock Wan Fa’s against his side as it came in. Wan Fa didn’t quite yelp, but his expression looked like he wanted to as he twisted under the kick, only barely pulling free enough to keep from breaking his own arm in the process.

Mostly because Yujin let him.

Wan Fa was glaring when he came in again, this time with a more focused chest strike. Yujin flipped back out of range, easy and springy, and then, to bait him more firmly, flipped up over Wan Fa’s head. The ‘just swallowed a bug’ expression on the man’s face as he spun around nearly made Yujin laugh. He knew a lot of people looked at his stocky build and assumed his form would be thin on aerial maneuvers, grounded and strength-based.

And it wasn’t as if they were entirely wrong, after all.

Yujin stood his ground as Wan Fa spun into a series of high, scything kicks. He bent back from one, blocked the next cleanly, and then he was far enough inside to wheel on his own center and land a brutal double punch that threw Wan Fa back to the circle of spectators to land in a gasping heap. Yujin came back to a neutral finishing stance, and gave his collapsed opponent a bow and a sunny smile, and whoops went up all around. Yujin laughed and went to give Wan Fa a hand up, as comradely as could be. He wanted to shake the man up, after all, not actually alienate him.

“Dong jie-jie would have twisted your ear off for that flip,” Jingrui told him, grinning, as Yujin joined him at the edge of the circle.

“Dong jie-jie isn’t here, or I wouldn’t have done it.” Yujin jostled through the press of men, as they broke up to return to drills, and grabbed a dipper of water. He turned a little, as he drank, casting a quick eye over the training ground, listening for the tone of it the way he’d listen to the tone of a social gathering. The men of his battalion, and for that matter of Jingrui’s, were mostly grinning, smug. The few who wore darker expressions were still satisfied, just with a far harder edge of pride in it—he’d already marked most of them as soldiers who’d been at Jiu An, and he added the ones he hadn’t known of yet to his mental tally. In turn, Wan Fa’s men elbowed each other and rolled their eyes, some exasperated but most only rueful. That was a good sign. He’d ask Zhen Ping to check on that battalion, and make sure their morale (and supplies) really were being kept up reasonably, but it didn’t look like more energetic measures would be needed.

“Yujin?” Jingrui asked, softly, stepping closer and turning a little to watch behind him. “What is it?”

“Nothing right now,” Yujin murmured, leaning against his shoulder for a moment, warmed by how easily Jingrui still guarded his back. “Just keeping an eye on things.” He grinned up at Jingrui. “Ready to go look commanding, Commander Xiao, and make sure your men are doing their drills properly?”

Jingrui drew himself up, managing to look dignified despite the way his eyes were dancing. “Always, Commander Yan.”

Yujin gave him a mocking bow, and laughed as Jingrui pulled him along across the training field.

Nothing was wrong right now, and that was why he’d keep an eye out. Yujin didn’t intend to be caught in the crossfire of politics and poor choices twice, and he especially didn’t intend to let Jingrui be caught, no matter how much of an uphill battle that had always been, against Jingrui’s lack of self-preservation.


Jingrui looked up with a satisfied smile as the last of his company captains filed in, and waved the letter with their new orders between his fingers. “Get everything polished up, this week; we’re on rotation at that Palace starting next week!”

“Really?” He Niu sounded shocked, and the rest of them were exchanging equally startled looks, some pleased, some alarmed, but all about equally taken aback by the news. Jingrui shook his head at them.

“It’s our turn, in the schedule; there’s no reason to think we wouldn’t be. You can’t be held to blame for obeying your commander,” he said firmly. Again. He felt a bit like he’d been repeating some variation on this at least once a week for months, now. And it wasn’t as though ex-Commander Peng had even been clearly in collusion with Jin’s late, unlamented Army Vice-Commanders. Personally, Jingrui thought it likely the man had just been currying favor with whoever presented themselves above him; he’d seen a lot of similar behavior, since he’d come here, and that, at least, he found understandable, if not at all admirable.

What he found less understandable, and wouldn’t have believed if he hadn’t heard it from Yujin, was the real reason his men never quite seemed to believe him. It still shocked Jingrui down to the core, what the Emperor had almost done to even the surrendered Qing Li soldiers, what had only been averted by the Crown Prince and High Commander’s pleas. To hold a servant to blame for following his master’s orders… Jingrui knew he’d been only a middling-good student but even he knew that struck against both the codes of law and the roots of civility itself. The limits on a servant’s responsibility, or a soldier’s, (or a son’s) were all that made obedience a virtue and not some form of madness. Jingrui had been fresh from the orderly (if rather voracious) atmosphere of his blood-father’s court, when Yujin had told him the story of Jiu An, and the thought that the Emperor, the nation’s source of order, would do such a selfish, chaotic thing had chilled him.

At the same time, and much though the Crown Prince should never have had to do it, Jingyan ge-ge’s example had heartened him. If he could follow that example, give the men he was responsible for some of their moral certainty back… well, he’d think that worthwhile work. No matter how many times he had to repeat himself.

His captains ducked their heads at the reminder, He Niu with a sheepish expression.

“Yes, Commander. Sorry, sir.”

Jingrui smiled at them. “Just make sure the men are ready. The timing of our rotation means we’ll be escort for the Fall Hunt; remind everyone. If there are any who are likely to have trouble at Jiu An, let me know and keep an eye on them.” He nodded dismissal to their bows of acknowledgment, and only shook his head ruefully once they were all gone.

“They’re getting there, sir,” Li Gang said quietly, at his shoulder. “Who else is on this rotation with us?”

“Yujin’s battalion, and Wan Fa’s, and the First and Third too.”

Li Gang snorted a little with amusement. “Everyone Commander Yan has under his wing, then. Probably a good thing.”

Jingrui smiled, only a little wryly for the fact that Li Gang was so very right. “Yujin is good at looking after things.” He touched the pile of tallies and lists on the side of his writing table. “So, I have the inventory reports, reports from the stables, though I want to double-check those before the Fall Hunt, preliminary patrol schedules for the Palace complex, and I’ll be meeting with the other Commanders tomorrow to finalize those…” He looked up at Li Gang with a soft chuckle. “Anything I’m forgetting?”

His sergeant gave him an approving look for asking (he was getting better about that!) and answered, respectfully, “Have you written the City Guard, yet, to arrange the route we’ll take to the Palace complex, sir?”

“No,” Jingrui sighed, reaching for his brush to jot a note to himself. He was coming to realize, this year, that while he was actually fairly good at command, he was not good at bureaucracy. He was working dutifully, if not exactly enthusiastically, to get better, but he was also starting to have a terrible suspicion that he was going to wind up in Marquis Ning’s position some day, buried in reports with a perpetual headache, even if he genuinely managed to avoid politics. He couldn’t see any way around it, not if he wanted to actually have enough rank to do some good for the nation his greater clan ruled.

On the other hand, at least Yujin would be with him, and Yujin was very good at this side of things. Jingrui added the first character of Yujin’s name to his note, and smiled.

They’d manage together, the way they always had everything. He honestly couldn’t imagine it being any other way.


Duty at the Palace complex was a prized and prestigious one. People actually competed for it. There were even rumors people had killed for it, if the High Commander wasn’t careful to maintain even rotations of the duty.

Yujin was incredibly bored by it.

He did, actually, understand Army Vice-Commander Sun Wen’s point that boredom was desirable, especially here. But Palace duty involved a great deal of doing nothing. The Imperial Guard detachment stood rigidly in place at their posts. They escorted palace officials on their very brief trips out into the city, to act as the Emperor’s voice, or more commonly these days, as the Crown Prince’s voice. They patrolled the Palace complex, keeping a careful eye out for any untoward behavior, of which there had not been any, lately.

And Yujin spent most of his time in the Imperial Guard’s offices, writing up duty rosters and patrol patterns without even being able to get out to walk many of the patrols. He’d started debriefing the on-call troops who rode out escorting palace officials, just to have something mildly interesting to do. He’d pulled out all the detailed and confidential maps of the Palace complex their offices contained and baited Jingrui and Wan Fa and Xu Jian and Yuan Kang with the housekeeper’s best snacks until they all sat down and drew up freshly optimized patrol routes to submit to the High Commander. He was actually looking forward to the Fall Hunt. He was also starting to understand why the Palace guard detachment trained so very vigorously; it was probably so they didn’t die of boredom.

Or, in Jingrui’s case, because Meng Zhi was around to train with.

Yujin couldn’t help smiling at the delighted grin Jingrui wore as he spun just a breath past Meng Zhi’s kick, palm driving hard toward Meng Zhi’s ribs. Not that he connected, but Jingrui looked pleased to have come as close as he had. Jingrui really was adorable, when he was around someone who could teach him. Yujin had thought, more than once, that Zhuo Qingyao was a lot of the reason Jingrui had thrown himself so wholeheartedly into being a son of Tianquan Manor, all those years. Jingrui made a good enough big brother, responsible and kind, but he was a lot better at being a little brother.

“Good afternoon, Commander Yan.”

Case in point, Yujin thought, a little wryly, turning to bow to the man who’d come up quietly to stand beside him. “And to you, Vice-Marshal Lin.”

Lin Shu chuckled softly at their formalities, folding his arms and joining Yujin in watching Jingrui and Meng Zhi separate and then close again, twice as fast as before, both of them grinning. “This is my first chance to see how the two of you are getting on,” he murmured. “Jingrui looks to be enjoying himself.”

Yujin had to give him a long look, at that, brows raised. “Have Zhen Ping and Li Gang been forgetting to send all their reports? That doesn’t seem like them.”

His cousin’s mouth crimped up at the corners. “My first chance to see for myself,” he specified. “They’ve only kept me generally informed. It’s not quite the same.” He glanced sidelong at Yujin, smiling. “So, how have you been? Keeping busy?”

Reminded, Yujin made a face and grumbled, “Not very. I’m wondering if the request process over in Logistics and Supply can be streamlined, actually.”

Lin Shu made a sound that may have started life as a snort of laughter. “Is there a particular reason you’re contemplating take-over of a bureau?”

Yujin sighed. Yes, he’d been afraid that was what it would probably take. “It’s not that there are any particular delays, yet, it’s just that I was looking at the timing of fulfillment so I could write up the next few months in advance, since I had the time…” He paused, blinking, because Lin Shu had dissolved into helpless laughter.

“Ah.” His cousin finally straightened up again. “All right, now I see why Meng da-ge asked me to come speak to you.”

Yujin started a little at that. The High Commander had? He glanced up at the practice area where Meng Zhi was throwing Jingrui’s kick briskly back off crossed arms. It wasn’t like he didn’t have plenty of opportunities to speak, himself, now Yujin and Jingrui were on Palace duty. A hand closed on his shoulder and shook him gently, and he looked back to see his cousin smiling.

“What he actually said,” Lin Shu told him, still amused, “was ‘he’s getting almost as bad as you used to be, in camp’.”

Yujin’s eyes widened, and he felt quick heat in his cheeks. Chiyan’s brilliant Vice-Marshal was one person he’d never thought to be compared to, even in exasperation.

Lin Shu patted his shoulder and let him go. “You think too much, for ceremonial duty, is all. It’s not a bad thing.” His mouth quirked up again. “Unless it leads you to start taking over the Ministry of War, one bureau at a time. Save that for when you’re a little older.”

That was not helping Yujin stop blushing. “Shu-xiong,” he protested. “I’m not going to…”

His cousin’s eyes sharpened, and he held up a hand, cutting Yujin off. “Yujin, we both know you won’t let Jingrui go down this path alone or unguarded.”

After a moment, Yujin nodded slowly, mouth a little tight. He wasn’t exactly surprised that Lin Shu had seen that particular motive, but he still didn’t like having it said out loud. Lin Shu’s expression softened a bit. “Don’t worry too much, yet. Jingyan and I are watching. We’ll make sure nothing happens.”

All in a rush, Yujin remembered the warm, easy comfort he’d felt when he was younger, before the Chiyan case, before his first priority had become being able to pull Jingrui back from the capital’s political bear-traps. He’d been sure, back then, that nothing too very bad could ever happen, because his cousins would watch over them—Prince Qi, kind and patient, Prince Jing, so strong and steadfast, Lin Shu, bright and fierce. And had Lin Shu not still watched over him, even after it all? He had to swallow hard, blinking back those memories and the echo of them in his cousin’s quiet assurance. His voice was a little husky when he answered, “Yes, Shu ge-ge.”

For a moment, he thought Lin Shu might ruffle his hair, the way he had back then. Thankfully, given they were surrounded by half of Yujin’s battalion, his cousin only smiled and turned to look back at Jingrui and Meng Zhi’s match, which had now moved on to swords. “For now… hm. Perhaps I’ll ask Meng da-ge to let the Guard escort ministers around the city, again, as well as the palace officials.”

Yujin perked up at that. That would surely make for far more interesting gossip that he could get. “Did we used to?”

“Before the ministries got so enmeshed in the fight for the throne, yes. Now that there’s less danger of the Guard getting pulled in after the ministers, I think it would benefit everyone to take that duty back off the household guards. I’ll suggest it.” Lin Shu winced at the next step Jingrui took, which was apparently an over-extension, because in the next moment his blade went clattering aside and Meng Zhi was at his back with his own sword across Jingrui’s throat. Jingrui shook his head ruefully as Meng Zhi let him go, but Meng Zhi just laughed and clapped him on the shoulder.

“That was better than last time! Try it again.” He backed up, beckoning, and Jingrui’s smile turned brilliant as he scooped up his sword again and flowed into a low stance.

Lin Shu smiled, wry but not quite as bitter as Yujin thought it would have been two years ago. “I’ll suggest it later,” he corrected himself.

Yujin couldn’t help laughing.


It was a little strange, for Jingrui, to return to Jiu An as a commander of the soldiers who guarded the Emperor and his retinue, after so many years as part of that retinue. Everything was brushed with newness and unfamiliarity, seen from this new angle. The mountain and its forests were still wild and full of life, but hunting the wild creatures was not his focus. The fortress itself was still airy, its long halls gracefully shadowed, but he was in a new wing of it, with new shadows.

Some of them in the eyes of the men around him.

It put a little chill down Jingrui’s own spine, to see the bright newness of the gates, set in the middle of the old, scored walls, but some of the men stepped through that new gate into the plaza on the other side and shuddered.

Yujin was one of them.

Jingrui knew he’d been hovering a bit, since they got here. A Yujin who wasn’t smiling or frowning or pacing, always expressive and in motion, a Yujin who paused so still he might not be breathing and wore no expression at all for a handful of heartbeats before turning with a smile harder than it was bright, was a Yujin who worried him a little.

And apparently hovering had actually worked, because Yujin had just rolled his eyes and taken Jingrui’s hand to slap a stack of reports into it, and told him, in a tone of rare exasperation, to go fill in the rest of the injuries log, if he didn’t have anything else to do. That had been more of the usual Yujin than Jingrui had seen since they’d arrived, complete with deeply expressive eye rolling. Jingrui smiled as he scanned down the list of men who’d been involved in xiao-Tingsheng’s little mishap with a yearling boar. There was someone who’d gotten a wrenched shoulder when his horse threw him, Jingrui was sure, but who had it been?

He almost rolled his eyes at himself when he remembered; it had been one of Wan Fa’s men. He was getting as bad as Yujin about casually counting them in among his own.

On the other hand, if they wanted complete accounts, which Yujin clearly did, then he should get the man’s name anyway. Jingrui laid down his brush and crossed the small courtyard of their wing to the rooms Wan Fa had taken, rapping lightly on the open screens as he stepped in. “Wan Fa, can I get the name of the man who was injured in that little scuffle with the boar, the other day?”

His fellow Commander looked up from his own paperwork with a snort. “Yan Yujin has infected you, too, has he?”

Jingrui couldn’t help laughing. “Always, sooner or later.”

And clearly Wan Fa wasn’t that annoyed, because he got up from his writing table willingly enough and opened up a chest to one side. “Just a minute, then.”

Jingrui waited politely while Wan Fa dug out what looked like the list of his whole command, though he couldn’t help raising a brow at the fact that Wan Fa apparently didn’t have any more concise reports of the incident handy. Possibly it was a good thing Wan Fa had his back turned. Jingrui glanced over his writing table, a little curious to see what he was doing, if not writing up the reports he really should have ready. A familiar hand caught his eye, on the top of a letter sticking out from underneath a few other reports. Had Yujin been sending notes over already? Alright, perhaps Jingrui could understand a little huffing, if so…

A chill uncurled down his spine, though, as the realization settled into his mind: Jingrui recognized it, but that wasn’t Yujin’s writing.

It was his sister’s.

Yuwen Nian wrote to him often, and he replied as often and kindly as he could, knowing she was still disappointed that he had not stayed in his blood-father’s court long enough to escort her wedding journey north. Knowing how impetuous she could be, he could well believe she might have written to any Da Liang officer she knew to be in contact with him for more news. What he couldn’t image was why any officer of Da Liang would keep or reply to a letter from the highest ranking Princess of what was, after all, an enemy state.

He stole a quick look at Wan Fa, who was muttering under his breath as he wound through his long scroll, and set his fingertips on the letter, inching it out from under the reports it lay under until he could slide it into his sleeve.

“Ah! That was it, it was Lu Qiang.” Wan Fa turned and caught up his brush to jot down the characters on a bit of clear report paper and tore the strip neatly off to hand to Jingrui. “Was that all?”

“Yes,” Jingrui said, as calmly as he could, taking the slip. “Thank you.” He sketched a short parting bow and made for his own rooms with a quick stride. He hoped this would turn out to be nothing but one of his sister’s headstrong whims, the letter one that Wan Fa simply hadn’t had a moment to burn, yet.

He really hoped.


Yujin was just putting away his sword, after cleaning, when Jingrui burst into his rooms, so abruptly that Yujin nearly drew on him. “Jingrui, what…?”

“Yujin,” Jingrui interrupted, only to stop short, looking over his shoulder. “Not here. Come on.” He seized Yujin’s arm and more or less dragged him out and down the interior passage.

“Jingrui!” Yujin tugged loose once he’d managed to catch up, frowning at the set look on Jingrui’s face. “What’s wrong?”

Jingrui’s jaw tightened. “Not here,” he repeated, and didn’t say another word until he’d led them back into one of the unused inner halls. Once there, where, Yujin couldn’t help noticing, the doors and screens he’d left open in their wake gave them very clear line of sight in all directions, he thumped down onto the hall’s veranda and put his head in his hands.

“…Jingrui?” Yujin settled slowly beside him, watching him closely. “What happened?”

Jingrui didn’t look up, but he did fish a letter out of his sleeve and hold it out. “This. Read this.”

Yujin frowned, quickly turning over, in the back of his mind, the tally of who might have news that could make Jingrui look like this. When he saw the letter was addressed to Wan Fa, not Jingrui, he just blinked. “What…?”

“Read it,” Jingrui insisted, and the flatness of his voice made Yujin settle back and unfold the letter.

My thanks, once again, for your news of my honored brother, Commander Wan. It has been a great comfort to know he is well!

Yujin put down the letter and rubbed a hand over his eyes. “She didn’t really.”

“She really did,” Jingrui sighed. “I’m sure she didn’t mean any harm at all, she just doesn’t think things through sometimes.”

Yujin found that a little rich, coming from Jingrui. Though Jingrui had been getting better. Maybe it just ran in the family? He stifled a groan over how much coaxing was likely going to be required to get Yuwen Nian to stop this—especially when she could, with at least a small amount of justice, insist that she was betrothed to an Imperial prince and could write to Imperial officers if she wanted to—and glanced down the rest of the letter. He froze when his eyes got to the last fold.

“Yes,” Jingrui said, tone suddenly flat and grim again. “That part.”

The last bit was written in a different hand, smaller, as if it had been added as an afterthought. Or, more likely, without the Princess’ knowledge.

We always welcome news from you, and you rise higher in my cousin’s esteem all the time. One hopes that Da Liang values such a perceptive officer as he deserves.

Yuwen Xuan, Prince Ling

Yujin had found out more about the court of Southern Chu, after Jingrui had left to visit there. Their current king, Jingrui’s father by blood, was said to have mellowed a little, as he aged, and was currently concentrated on assimilating Chu’s recent conquests rather than expanding the borders again, but no one believed that would last long. Many of the younger nobles, Prince Ling vocal among them, were in favor of new forays to bite off land to the north. And now Prince Ling had found a path to communicate with an ambitious officer within the Imperial Guard of Da Liang. He’d most likely been the one to provide the Princess, his cousin, with a way to send secret letters north in the first place, and the one who had, almost certainly, given that phrasing, sent this letter on its way with some token of his own ‘esteem’.

In short, the one who was trying to suborn a Commander of the Imperial Guard.

Yujin took a deep breath and let it out slowly, staring at the letter. What a mess. “Well, first we need to convince your sister to stop writing to Wan Fa.”

Jingrui surged up off the veranda and stalked back and forth across the small garden below it, scowling. “No, the first thing we have to do is report Wan Fa! No matter how foolish Nian-er is being, it’s Wan Fa who’s passing information to the prince of an enemy nation!”

“We don’t know that!” Yujin said, sharply, trying not to think about all the gruesome things Dong-jie had let slip, over the years, about how investigations around the Palace usually went. He would have expected Jingrui to be the one most against risking any such thing. “We don’t know that he’s done anything more than send news of you, personally.”

“Which means Wan Fa is passing on information about a Commander of the Imperial Guard. And probably more that was addressed to Prince Ling separately. You saw what he wrote! Admiring how ‘perceptive’ Wan Fa is.” Jingrui’s mouth was tight, and his eyes hard. “And Wan Fa is using my sister to do it, just as much as Yuwen Xuan is.”

Yujin bit his lip for a moment. Now Jingrui’s anger made sense; he’d become doubly protective of his family ties after losing so many of them. “But Jingrui… if we report this officially, the Emperor will hear of it.”

That stopped Jingrui’s furious pacing, at least for a few breaths, though his eyes were still dark. “We can just report it to the High Commander, then.”

“Who’s sworn directly to the Emperor!” Yujin threw up his hands, exasperated. “Do you know what would happen to him as soon as the Emperor got the tiniest hint of him withholding information?”

Jingrui’s temper sparked again. “So we’ll tell the Crown Prince! You can’t tell me he can’t keep a secret from the Emperor!”

Yujin made an inarticulate sound of frustration. He knew Jingrui didn’t always think things through, and it was clearly a family trait, but he had to know better than that. “Like the Crown Prince taking direct action to discipline a Guard Commander isn’t going to be talked about?!”

“We have to do something!”

Frustration pushed Yujin to his feet as well. “If you’ll just stop for a minute…”

“No,” Jingrui said, harshly, eyes burning, hand sweeping up as if to strike Yujin’s words aside. “Not this time!” He started to storm past Yujin, and Yujin reached out to catch his arm, frustration suddenly sharpening into fear, fear that Jingrui would push himself into the Emperor’s notice after all, and all the risk of destruction that notice brought with it.

“Jingrui…!”

Jingrui half-turned, sharply, throwing off his hand.

Yujin felt his face turn cold and stiff as blood drained from it, felt his eyes widening, felt his breath stop in his lungs for a long moment as he stood, hand still stretched out toward Jingrui. When he managed to take a breath again, his knees shook, along with the air in his chest, and he stumbled down to the edge of the veranda again. “Jingrui?” This time it was barely a whisper.

At least Jingrui had stopped. At least that.

After a long moment, Jingrui sighed and stepped back toward him. “Sorry. But I can’t just stop this time, Yujin; I have to do something.”

“All right.” His voice was still rough, and all the fear in him had turned over, turned inward, turned sharp and cutting to hear Jingrui say only I. He reached up to catch Jingrui’s sleeve, fingers closing white-knuckled in the fabric. “All right, we will, just…” the words pushed out, and he was shaking too much, inside, to stop them, “don’t leave.”

“I wasn’t… I mean, not leaving leaving. You know that.” Jingrui took another step closer, frowning down at him a little, puzzled. “Yujin?”

“No, it’s fine.” Yujin tried to pull himself together, to brush the spike of cold panic off with a smile, but he could feel it waver, unconvincing.

It probably didn’t help that he couldn’t make himself let go of Jingrui. But Jingrui had left once, even if he’d come back. And he’d been going to leave for the same cause this time, hadn’t he? Family, it was always family with them, and this time it had caused Jingrui to show Yujin his back, just like Yujin’s father always had, for so long. Shouldn’t he be afraid, then? He felt like his thoughts fractured on that question.

“Yujin.” Jingrui sat down again, beside him, hand covering his, still fisted in Jingrui’s sleeve. The warmth of it cut through the tangle of Yujin’s thoughts, and he looked up to see Jingrui looking more concerned than angry. “Are you all right?”

“I’m fine, really.” Yujin felt like this smile was maybe a little more successful. “I’m just… I don’t…” It would be better if he could get his words out in order, but he wasn’t even sure, himself, what they should be. “I didn’t mean to say I wouldn’t help.” That was better.

Jingrui ducked his head a little, looking penitent. “No, I know. I shouldn’t have…” He trailed off, thumb running over Yujin’s still-white knuckles, and he was frowning when he looked up. “Yujin?”

Yujin finally managed to force his fingers open, glancing away as he retrieved his hand. Or, at least, tried to. Jingrui’s fingers caught his again, half way. “Tell me what it was you were thinking of doing, then,” Jingrui said, quietly.

Yujin swallowed to get his heart back down out of his throat, not looking down to see his hand folded with Jingrui’s. “Well. If Yuwen Nian stops writing, then that gets her out of the line of fire, on the Chu end. And Wan Fa will already have had a scare, when he can’t find that letter. If we let him know that we’ll have to report any further communication, I think that will stop him. Without any of this getting back to the Emperor.” He looked back at Jingrui, intent and serious. “Because if the Emperor gets any hint of collusion with an enemy state, we don’t know how many he might order executed, and you’re right in the middle of it.”

Jingrui’s eyes widened, and he flushed red. “Yujin.” He reached out and pulled Yujin close, hands closing tight in the back of his robes. “I’m sorry. I was an idiot.”

Yujin leaned into him, nearly shaking with the sudden release of tension. “Yes,” he managed, against Jingrui’s shoulder, a little husky. “You are. But that’s okay, that’s what I’m for.”

Jingrui’s huff of laughter against his ear, light and teasing, nearly made him melt with relief. “Are you sure? I thought it was for the comic relief.”

Yujin elbowed him, finally managing to laugh, himself, and they both sat back, smiling.

That was all he needed, really.


Jingrui had felt like the worst friend imaginable, when he’d finally realized what Yujin’s real concern was, and all the more so because Yujin’s plan worked. Wan Fa was applying himself strictly to the business of his battalion and had started fading to the back of any gathering that included Jingrui or Yujin with nervous, sidelong glances at them. And perhaps Jingrui’s own guilt over his temper was what made him pay a little more attention than usual. He kept remembering the white-knuckled clench of Yujin’s hand on his sleeve. For whatever reason, he’d really scared Yujin, and he had no wish to do it again.

The reason had finally clicked, for him, a week after they’d all returned from the Fall Hunt, when he’d stopped by the Yan Manor in the morning, to ride in to the Palace complex together.

Yujin had been coming down the stairs of the inner hall, as Jingrui passed through the first courtyard, and he’d laughed and called, “You’re actually out of bed early! Should I mark the date specially?”

Yujin had elevated his nose. “A gentleman maintains moderation in everything. Besides, Father wasn’t here for breakfast, today.”

There’d been a flicker of darkness in his eyes, and it had come to Jingrui, abruptly, that it was the same darkness he’d seen when Yujin was staring at him, stiff and pale, that day. The same darkness Jingrui had seen Yujin push so determinedly away for years, whenever his father came up. The darkness of an empty house, echoing around them, and nobody in it but them and the servants. That was the moment it had come to him that he’d nearly walked away from Yujin, nearly left him in a literally empty hall, that day.

The worst friend ever.

So he tried to stay closer, for a while, to stop in after drills to ask whether Yujin had taken over any more ministry paperwork, yet; to glance at Yujin’s schedule to be extra sure they’d meet in the training yard to spar together; to wrap an arm around Yujin’s shoulders when he pulled his friend toward the gates in the evening, to head home (where, more often than not, he’d stay until Marquis Yan also arrived home). And, perhaps because he was paying extra attention, he’d noticed the thread of tension, in Yujin, that seemed to ease every time Jingrui touched him. Noticing that, of course he’d done it more often, let his arm lay there longer, and taken satisfaction in feeling Yujin’s shoulders drop just that little bit.

Which had gotten them to today.

A late autumn storm had chased everyone indoors who could go, and after making sure that the men had cleared all the equipment off the drill grounds, Jingrui and Yujin dashed for the Guard offices though the cold rain, piling inside on each other’s heels. Jingrui’s arm found its way around Yujin’s shoulders out of growing habit, and they leaned against each other, breathless from cold and laughing a little. Yujin wiped rivulets of rain off his face, leaning into Jingrui more firmly for a moment as he tossed back his head, hands sweeping the wetness back over his hair. Jingrui sputtered as a few drops hit him in the face.

“Yujin!”

Yujin grinned up at him, bright and teasing. “Hm? Was there something?”

And Jingrui felt his heart turn over, at the same time his awareness of Yujin’s body against his escaped his control and unfurled like eager spring leaves.

“Only the honorable Commander Yan’s lack of manners,” he shot back automatically, and Yujin’s laugh shivered down his nerves, made him tighten his hand on Yujin’s shoulder. Yujin leaned back into him, easy and relaxed, and Jingrui had to swallow a little hard.

Probably the only thing that kept him from doing something rather rash right there in the entry room was the pointed clearing of a throat behind him. He and Yujin finally broke apart and stepped further in, to let Li Gang get inside after them. Jingrui gave his sergeant a slightly sheepish smile in return for his dryly raised brows, and the moment passed.

For now.

Jingrui retreated to his writing table to stare at the patrol rosters blankly, thoughts in complete disarray. He’d thought, for years now, that Yujin must not have any interest in men; if he had, well, surely Jingrui would have heard about it, wouldn’t he? He’d teased Yujin, often enough, about the time he spent flirting with shop girls and courtesans alike. So he’d turned his thoughts away from the idea of ever having Yujin like that, sunk himself deeper into the oneness of heart, between them, and refrained from touching too much. But the easy way Yujin leaned into him… was Jingrui deceiving himself, that there was acceptance, and maybe even hunger, in it?

The thought lodged itself in the back of his mind with a firmness that said he wasn’t going to be able to just ignore it any more.

So perhaps… perhaps he could test it, a little, instead? Carefully, of course, but if he was right, if Yujin did welcome his touch, then just maybe…

Jingrui smiled and picked up the top report, bending over it with a better will than usual.


“This is your fault; you jinxed us.”

“I did not!” Zhen Ping looked over his shoulder at where their Commanders had their heads together over a plan for cavalry drill. Yan Yujin had his whole body oriented on Xiao Jingrui, and Xiao Jingrui was stealing soft little glances at Yan Yujin whenever the other man wasn’t looking. “This is not my fault,” he muttered.

“The heavens were listening.” Despite this contention, Li Gang held out a flask to him. “Drink?”

“We’re on duty,” Zhen Ping said, not with a great deal of conviction.

On the other side of the Guard offices, Yan Yujin elbowed Xiao Jingrui indignantly for whatever he’d just said, and Xiao Jingrui threw an arm around his shoulders, laughing, pulling him close for a breath. For the space of that breath, Yan Yujin relaxed against him, grin softening.

Li Gang gave Zhen Ping a speaking look and shook the flask invitingly.

Zhen Ping accepted it with a sigh, and took a long drink.


For the most part, Yujin was pleased with his life at the moment. Palace duty had ended, and he’d left behind a legacy of reporting procedure for all Guards on escort duty. He was fairly sure Lin Shu had been the one to insist it be continued, which he tried not to blush like a little boy over. The Jin army’s field drills, battalion against battalion, had arrived as promised, which was fascinating. Yujin was not a fan of battles, or the idiocy that seemed to lead up to them, but the strategy of maneuver caught his imagination.

Unfortunately, being out in the field, beyond the city, seemed to have revived one of what Yujin personally considered Jingrui’s worst habits—waking him up early.

Yujin was not, by nature, an early riser. Jingrui, however, was, and when they traveled he sometimes decided that Yujin should be as well. Yujin invariably got revenge, one way or another, but apparently it had been too long since he last did, because Jingrui had taken to visiting his tent at ridiculous hours to wake him.

At the first whisper of canvas being pushed aside, Yujin pulled the covers over his head.

“Commander Yan,” Jingrui called, light and teasing. “Good morning!”

Yujin made a wordless sound intended to convey that it was not morning, yet.

“Time to get up,” Jingrui declared, in defiance of all reason, coming to tweak the covers down.

Yujin yanked them back up by reflex. “Still dark,” he mumbled.

“Of course it’s dark, with the covers over your head.” Jingrui yanked them down again.

Yujin swiped at him without opening his eyes and snatched the covers back, diving under them with a growl.

Jingrui had the gall to laugh. Yujin stayed stubbornly still for as long as he could before admitting that he was actually awake, but eventually he had to give in. He shoved the covers back and glared up at Jingrui. “I will kill you slowly,” he declared.

Jingrui positively grinned down at him, eyes sparkling, entirely too awake for not-quite-sunrise. “After breakfast?” he suggested.

“I will poison your food,” Yujin threatened, scrubbing the sleep from his eyes.

“Once you’re awake enough to,” Jingrui taunted, and then chuckled as Yujin pushed himself upright. “You’re a mess, after fighting with the covers like that.”

He ran a hand over Yujin’s hair, hopefully smoothing it down a little, and Yujin was still drowsy enough to lean into it. “Mm. Whose fault is that?” He took a breath and blinked himself a little more alert, only to realize that he was still leaning into Jingrui’s hand, which had settled along his cheek. “…Jingrui?”

Jingrui colored and drew his hand back. “Sorry. Should I not?” He looked disappointed, Yujin realized, slowly.

Yujin was going to blame the way he caught Jingrui’s retreating hand on not being awake, though that wasn’t the whole truth by any means. “No, it’s fine, I just…”

Yujin had been perfectly aware of the silent apology in Jingrui’s increased tendency to touch, to drape an arm over his shoulders, to lean against him. To be honest, he’d been enjoying it very much. But this was different; this was starting to spill over into the kind of thing he’d never expected from Jingrui. At least, not directed at himself.

“I thought it was Lin Shu ge-ge, with you,” he finally said, quietly, trying to stifle any urge to hope. “I mean… even when we didn’t know it was him…”

Jingrui just blinked at him, sitting back on his heels beside Yujin’s bed, hand resting easily in Yujin’s grip. “Well, but that’s different.” Yujin raised both brows, because he remembered very clearly the way Jingrui had always tagged after Lin Shu, with shining eyes, and dragged Yujin along. Jingrui ducked his head a little and added, “You’re the one I never wanted to be apart from.”

The way he smiled, sweet and open, made Yujin’s chest squeeze tight, made him breathless with the dawning realization that this wasn’t a mistake or the result of wanting so much that he saw what wasn’t there. “Oh.” He took a breath and reached up, fingers shaking just a little bit, to touch Jingrui’s cheek. “Me too.”

Jingrui’s smile turned brighter at that, so simply and openly happy that it made Yujin forget to breathe for a moment. “I’m glad.” Jingrui turned his head and pressed a soft kiss to Yujin’s fingers.

Yujin made a small, wordless sound, at that, unable to catch it back, not when everything he’d thought was too much to ask for had fallen suddenly into his lap. Jingrui looked back at him, chewing his lip for a moment, before taking a breath and leaning in. His glance was a little shy, under his lashes, but hopeful, and Yujin was as helpless as he’d ever been to resist that. He leaned forward to meet Jingrui, and the brush of Jingrui’s mouth over his made him close his eyes, every sense narrowing down to this touch, this moment.

“Oh,” he said, softly, as their lips parted, feeling the reality of it all settle into his heart.

“Yes,” Jingrui answered, just as soft.

They sat there, smiling breathlessly at each other as sunrise finally lit the walls of the tent white.


The last exercise, in this year’s field drills, set double battalions against each other, as if they were vanguards clashing in the first engagement of a battle. It was the kind of exercise that was, honestly, more to Jingrui’s taste than maneuver of huge blocks of soldiers, even if he knew that maneuver was preferable to engagement, if it could be managed. This was practice, though, he told himself virtuously, as he urged his horse to the front of their running line, and he needed more practice converting his sword form to the balance of horseback. And also in not letting himself get too caught up in trying to convert everything.

Or, as Li Gang had succinctly put it, after Jingrui’s first few horseback drills, “Less dueling, sir, more hacking.”

And, best of all, today he was paired with Yujin again, could see Yujin’s quick-footed black coming up beside him, from the corner of his eye, could catch the way Yujin was shaking his head but still grinning.

And then it was time to close his knees tight around his horse, shift his weight forward with the sweep of his sword and the momentum of their gallop, and bash one of the other side’s company Captains soundly out of the saddle. It registered, in the back of his head, that with anything but the blunted wood they were given for the drill, it would have been a disemboweling cut, but the thought was distant, subsumed in the urgency of another target in front of him, and then another, the press of horses lunging against and between each other—

—and abruptly, the awareness that he’d outpaced his own men just a little too much.

He ducked under the jab of a spear from one side while blocking the swing a sword on the other, tried to send his horse forward so he could get space to turn, but he was hemmed in too close. This, the back of his head informed him, was why Li Gang kept looking disapproving of how fast Jingrui went during horseback drills. Jingrui gritted his teeth and heaved against the swordsman on his right side, swung his sword around to strike down another jab from the spear, risked pulling one foot free of the stirrup to kick the swordsman solidly in the hip, and that was one side about to be open…

A completely unorthodox but painfully effective sideways sweep from the spear hit him in the ribs and swept him right out of the saddle. The ground smashed the breath out of him, and for a long moment he could only gasp for air and be grateful that his horse was stepping to the side rather than on top of him. A furious shout rang out above and behind him, and he hauled himself up to his knees just in time to see Yujin sweep past him, cutting down the spearman, and the swordsman behind him, with two brutal strokes, barely a pause between them. Zhen Ping galloped past on Yujin’s heels, both swords out, guarding his back as Yujin set his position and two charging soldiers broke against it, one down and the other pulling his horse around to retreat. Jingrui grabbed at his horse’s stirrup to pull himself further up, staring. And perhaps he’d banged his head on the way down, but what was floating through his mind right now was something Zhen Ping had said months ago, when they were all still on duty at the Palace.

He’d been teasing Yujin about how Army Vice-Commander Sun Wen might take his proposed improved patrol routes, and Yujin had been insisting roundly that the logic of them would be obvious to anyone. Jingrui had actually been a little rueful about not being able to see it, himself, before Yujin had explained it, and apparently their sergeants had caught that fact.

“You’ll probably start to see it soon, sir,” Zhen Ping had said, looking up from the gear he’d been cleaning. “You see it clearly on the smaller scale already, don’t you? Where your opponent is likely to step or cut next.”

Jingrui had cocked his head, curious. “You think it’s the same thing?”

Zhen Ping had smiled a little, wryly. “The Vice-Marshal always said it was, and the way he talked about seeing the movement of a battle… I think he’s right. I can’t do it with more than a squad, myself, but it really did sound like the same thing.”

And now, watching the brief, clear wake Yujin’s savage attack left, watching the way the other vanguard was drawing back toward the right like a swordsman shifting his weight, the swift gathering of horses like an arm drawing back to strike, Jingrui did see it. Saw it and saw how it would sweep over Yujin’s position, the opening he’d made, and threw himself back up into the saddle, hauling in a deep breath.

Third Company forward! Now!

He heard the horn repeat the order, behind him, saw the company to his left start to move, like his own sword sweeping in to meet the opponent’s, and kicked his horse forward to join Yujin, ignoring the painful jar of bruises. After all, it was the two of them who were going to be the hand that pushed the opponent back off balance.

Yujin looked around as Jingrui came up beside him, Zhen Ping sliding to the side to let him through, and the set, furious darkness of his expression lightened. Jingrui leaned out to clap a hand on his shoulder. “One more push forward?” he called, and was glad to see Yujin’s head come up, turning to take in the field around them, before his friend gave him a firm nod.

Jingrui was grinning as their horses leaped forward again, together this time.


Lin Shu had already gotten reports from both Li Gang and Zhen Ping, so he was unsurprised to hear Vice-Commander Sun Wen’s voice raised, as he approached Meng da-ge’s offices.

“…never putting them on the same side of an exercise again! The physicians are nearly in revolt, half of Eighth battalion is terrified of Yan Yujin and the other half is enamored of Xiao Jingrui, and thanks to the fact that they won I’m going to have to deal with idiots trying to imitate them!”

“Bear with it for a handful more years, if you’d be so kind,” Lin Shu said, stepping into the room and exchanging nods with Meng da-ge, who was looking wryly amused and possibly a bit envious of the fun the boys had had during the field exercise. Sun Wen, on the other hand, looked suspicious.

“And what is it that will happen in a few years, Vice-Marshal?” he asked, a little stiffly. Lin Shu mentally marked down another who was uncomfortable with his lack of a clearly defined position, here in the capital.

“In another few years, I expect Xiao Jingrui will be promoted.” Lin Shu raised inquiring brows at Meng da-ge, who nodded, judiciously. “When that happens, Yan Yujin will retire—from the military, at least. He won’t be able to protect Jingrui without a political position, at that point, and he’s spent far too long guarding Jingrui from politics for it to be imagined that he’ll give it up, now.”

“I can’t argue that he’s fiercest in Xiao Jingrui’s defense,” Sun Wen said, slowly. “That’s where a quarter of the broken bones in the vanguard exercise came from.” He gave Lin Shu a long look. “Are you saying you want us to encourage that, in someone going into politics?”

Lin Shu turned one hand palm-up with a little shrug. “It is what it is, Army Vice-Commander. I’m saying nothing any of us do will change it. Therefore the best course of action is to place the two of them where it will be most beneficial. Jingrui’s leadership and example, his sense of loyalty and righteousness, will be of great benefit in the Imperial Guard, and his presence there will ensure that Yujin’s efforts are bent toward maintaining the integrity of our armies and preventing internal strife.” Sun Wen was looking increasingly sour as he listened to this, and Lin Shu smiled faintly, adding, “It’s also where they’ll be happiest. They wouldn’t stay there, if it weren’t.”

Sun Wen sat back, at that, eyeing him. “I trust you’ll excuse me if I still try to reduce Yan Yujin’s tendency to extreme action, while I have him,” he said, at last, rather dryly.

“Not at all.” Lin Shu tapped one of the taller stacks of report folios on Meng da-ge’s writing table. “You might also consider keeping him busy by putting him in charge of some intelligence and analysis.”

Meng da-ge snorted, obviously remembering Yujin’s rotation at the Palace, and the new reporting structure that had resulted from his boredom, very clearly. “I’ll approve that.”

Lin Shu smiled, satisfied. Yujin needed a new information network, now he had less time to spend in the capital’s social circles. This would be a good start. In another handful of years, Yujin would enter Ministry politics well equipped. And once he had more leverage in the political arena, perhaps Yujin would calm a little from his fever-pitch of protectiveness.

They could hope, at any rate. After all, it had worked on Lin Shu, when he was thirteen and furious over Jingyan going into the field without him.


“…and Zhang Ying will be back on duty next month.”

Jingrui made a quick note on his roster of those injured in the field exercises. “Good; I hoped that wouldn’t be a bad break.” Reminded, he frowned and glanced up at Li Renshu, captain of his Sixth Company. “What about Wu Shen?”

Li looked gratified that his fourth squad leader had been remembered, which Jingrui was pleased to see—six months ago, he’d have been surprised. Every now and then, Jingrui was still possessed of an urge to hunt down these men’s previous Commander and kick him soundly in the ass. Not for the little cravenness of following questionable orders, but for leaving these men so uncertain of their purpose and worth that the smallest gestures reassured them so.

“He won’t be cleared for full-length drills for another few weeks, but he’s back on his feet, Commander.”

Jingrui sat back from his table with a satisfied smile. “We’ll be back up to full strength, then. Good. Is there anything else I need to know of before I write up the battalion’s monthly report?”

His company captains shook their heads with murmurs of “No, sir,” and “No, Commander,” and Jingrui nodded approval and dismissal. He jotted down one last note, as they filed out, and stretched his arms over his head, glancing at the water clock. It was definitely time for him to head home.

The way from his office, through the barracks that housed his battalion’s soldiers, and around their drill field, was familiar by now, and Jingrui absently noted to himself the old planking he’d been meaning to ask to get repaired, nodded to the squads changing watch as they stood aside for him, paused to raise an eyebrow at the wrestling competition that spilled off the edge of the drill grounds into his path, trying to stifle the grin that really wanted to break free. He thought his men might have seen it anyway from the sheepish but unalarmed way they ducked their heads as they scrambled back out of his way. By the time he reached the gate to their block of the ward, his horse was waiting for him.

It felt comfortable, to have his battalion around him. Welcoming and stable, in a way he hadn’t really felt for three years. His mother’s manor still echoed with the breaking of his family, if only because she was there and still mourned. When he traveled outside the cities, he was always a little tense, part of him always watching out of the corner of his eye for any sign of his other family, and flinching every time he caught himself at it, because he had no right. Here, though, he could feel again that loosening in his chest, the complete ease of his breath, that came from knowing without a shadow of a doubt that he belonged to these men, and they to him.

And here, of course, he still had the one constant that had been his all his life, still so one in thought that he wasn’t at all surprised to see Yujin turn onto the central road just ahead of him and rein in to wait for him.

“I bet your monthly report is finished already,” he said, in greeting, and Yujin laughed as he nudged his horse forward again.

“Of course it is. Unlike some, I know how to be efficient. That’s how I caught up with you so easily, despite being born later.”

“Ah,” Jingrui nodded, wisely. “This is what they call the genius of laziness, I see.”

The guards on the east gate of the quarter were stifling grins as they stood back to let Jingrui and Yujin pass. Out of the north-west quarter, the roads were too busy for much conversation, and they rode in companionable silence until they reached Yan Manor. Yujin glanced sidelong at him.

“Will you come in?”

Jingrui’s breath hitched a little at the heat and uncertainty in that look, so close a match for his own feelings, of late, that he couldn’t help the rueful smile that tugged at his mouth. “Yes,” he answered softly. “I’d like that.”

He’d grown up as much in Yan Manor as in his own house, but today he found himself not quite knowing where to step, what to do with his sword, what to do with himself once the doors of the east wing were closed behind them. He looked over to find Yujin looking back, chewing on his lip. Their eyes caught, both wide and uncertain, but as one moment and then another slipped by, Jingrui saw Yujin start to smile, felt his own answering smile spreading, and then they were laughing, reaching out to each other as easily as ever, and when he caught his breath again Yujin was folded tight in his arms and he could feel the solid strength of Yujin’s arms around him.

From there it only made sense to lean in and kiss him.

Yujin’s arms tightened around his ribs, and his mouth opened against Jingrui’s, turning the kiss softer, hotter—a wet, hungry slide of lips and tongue that put a shiver down Jingrui’s spine. When they finally drew back a little, though, Jingrui had to take a moment to understand what he was seeing. Yujin’s lips were parted in a way that made Jingrui want to dive right back into the kiss. But his eyes were wide, soft, wondering, and that made Jingrui stop. He was fairly sure that, of the two of them, Yujin was the more experienced in this kind of thing. Why wondering, then? “Yujin?” he asked, softly.

Yujin shook his head, and this laugh was barely there, just an unsteadiness in his breath. “I never thought…”

There it was, again, and Jingrui freed a hand to touch his cheek. “Why not, if you wanted it?” He had a hard time imagining anything he would deny Yujin. Surely the one person he’d shared the whole of his life with didn’t think a crush Jingrui had always known was hopeless would really stand in his way?

Now Yujin looked exasperated and pummeled him lightly on the shoulder. “Because I thought you were in love with someone else. That you’ve been in love with him since we were barely old enough to know what that meant!” He looked down and added, low, “And I didn’t want to come second.”

That closed around Jingrui’s heart like a fist clenching, and he pulled Yujin tight against him. “Yujin…” He could feel the tension in Yujin’s body, against his, and stroked open hands up and down his back, trying to soothe it. Yujin pressed close, silent, and he spoke quietly, against Yujin’s ear. “I suppose I always have been a little in love with Lin Shu ge-ge. But I’m not actually blind, and I always knew there’d never be anything there, not for me. You…” he leaned his forehead against Yujin’s. “You’ve always been there for me, Yujin. You’re like my breath, my heartbeat.” He laughed, a little unsteady in his turn, arms tightening. “I don’t even know how to speak of love, to you, because you’re so much, to me. You could never come second to anyone.”

He could hear the way that made Yujin’s breath hitch, sharply, feel the tremor that went through him. “Why didn’t you speak, then?” Yujin asked, husky.

“Well, I didn’t think you liked men that way!” Jingrui protested. “I mean it was always the shop girls you were flirting with.”

Yujin dissolved into laughter against his shoulder, and took a while to stop. That was all right, though, because he didn’t let go the entire time. When he lifted his head, Jingrui wasn’t surprised to see wetness on his cheeks, but there was a familiar smile, too, bright and rueful. “Well, I didn’t want to put you off, if you ever did decide to get over him and speak up.” He grinned at Jingrui’s exasperated sound and scrubbed a palm over his cheek.

Jingrui smiled, soft and helpless, and reached up to wipe away the wetness on the other side, and then had to catch his breath at the way Yujin’s whole face softened, expression turning open and unguardedly happy as he turned his head into Jingrui’s hand.

“It’s easier for me to see women’s beauty,” Yujin said, softly, lifting a hand to lay over Jingrui’s. “But I can see the beauty in men, too.” He looked up to meet Jingrui’s gaze, eyes dark. “I’ve seen it in you, for years.”

Jingrui had to swallow at the curl of deep, soft warmth that sent through him, and now he thought he understood the wonder a little better. “Yujin…”

This time, it was Yujin who leaned in to kiss him, hands sliding up over his shoulders to close around his face, and Jingrui was entirely content to relax into that gentle hold. Yujin kissed him again and again, soft little sips of kisses that made Jingrui open his mouth against Yujin’s, tongue darting out to stroke against his and coax him deeper. It seemed to work, because Yujin relaxed against him, and he was smiling when he drew back.

“Jingrui. Let me try something?”

Normally, those words, matched to the sparkle in Yujin’s eyes, might have made him a little wary, but here and now Jingrui couldn’t imagine anything he wouldn’t be happy to let Yujin do. “Of course.”

Yujin laced their fingers together and tugged him through the outer rooms, toward Yujin’s bed. Another sidelong look, questioning and a bit shy, made Jingrui smile, tightening his hold on Yujin’s hand before reaching for his own sashes to undo them. Yujin only let him get his outer robe untied, though, before coming to him, his own inner robe still trailing off his shoulders, and laying his hands over Jingrui’s. Very softly, eyes steady and serious, he asked, “Let me?”

Jingrui’s breath drew in swiftly, a tiny shiver running over him at the earnestness of that question. He had to swallow hard before he could answer, and his voice was husky when he said, “Yes. Always.”

Yujin smiled, quick and brilliant as a lightning strike, and it stole Jingrui’s breath all over again, to see how much it meant to Yujin, that Jingrui would welcome this small intimacy, would promise it to Yujin’s hands and care. He stood quiet while Yujin undressed him, turning with his gentle nudges. Yujin’s hands were so careful, on him, that it made Jingrui have to blink back wetness in his eyes. When he was finally bare, and Yujin had come to stand in front of him, hands resting on his shoulders, the soft satisfaction in Yujin’s smile finally crystallized what this was telling Jingrui’s heart.

“You’ve always been taking care of me, haven’t you?” he asked, softly.

“As well as I could,” Yujin answered, simply.

Jingrui had to swallow again, but he was smiling when he reached out and slid his hands down the open collar of Yujin’s robes. “Will you let me take care of you, now?”

Yujin blinked, very much as if the notion had never occurred to him, but then he smiled, small and pleased, ducking his head a little. “Yes. If you like.”

“Of course I like.” Jingrui tipped his chin back up and kissed him, softly, promising again against his mouth, “Always.”

Yujin’s breath caught, and Jingrui kissed him one more time, gentle, before setting about divesting Yujin of his inner robe and undergarments, just as carefully, as tenderly, as he could, hoping to ease the fragile edge on the hope in Yujin’s face. When he was done, he gathered Yujin tight against him, and repeated softly, against his ear, “Always.” The fierce tightening of Yujin’s arms around him was enough to drive his breath out, and he would have pursued the issue further—surely Yujin knew they were for always?—but Yujin drew back and tugged him down to the bed.

“Let me?” he asked again, pressing Jingrui back against the stacked pillows.

“Of course. Anything you… want…” Jingrui’s answer ended rather breathlessly, as Yujin nudged his knees apart and settled between them, leaning on his elbows. Yujin looked up at him under his lashes, with that wicked sparkle back in his eyes. Jingrui made a wordless sound that was definitely not a squeak, as Yujin leaned down—a sound that dissolved into a moan as Yujin’s tongue ran up the length of him, hot and slick. Yujin made a pleased sound of his own and leaned down further, wrapping his mouth around Jingrui.

Jingrui had already been most of the way hard, just from touching as they’d undressed each other, but now it felt like all the blood in his body was rushing to fill his cock. He could feel every movement of Yujin’s lips and tongue, against him, and each soft, wet stroke sent a thrill of pleasure up his spine, leaving him gasping. “Yujin…”

“Mmmm?”

The vibration of Yujin’s mouth around him wrung a groan out of him, hot sensation bursting wildly down his nerves. Jingrui clutched at the folded covers under him, completely unable to stop the little upward jerks of his hips. After some hesitation, Yujin finally folded his arms over Jingrui’s hips and leaned his weight on them, making a pleased sound as he slid his mouth back down and Jingrui found himself without enough leverage to move. Jingrui moaned out loud at the way that sent heat twisting through him, tight and sweet, and when Yujin sucked on him, hard, it all came undone in a wild rush of pleasure uncoiling. “Yujin!”

He felt Yujin’s fingers tight around him, stroking him through it, and looked up to find Yujin watching him, eyes dark with heat, mouth red, and that wrung him out yet again, until he moaned, breathless. When he finally lay quiet again, undone and panting for breath, Yujin slid back up to wind around him, settling close with a satisfied smile. Jingrui wound slightly shaky arms around him, and laughed. “Have me where you want me?” he asked, husky.

Yujin smirked and snuggled closer. “Pretty much, yes.”

After a few quiet minutes of cuddling, Jingrui regathered enough of his thoughts to stroke a hand down Yujin’s body, a little shyly. “Let me, now?”

Yujin looked up from his shoulder with a smile that had the same edge of shyness in it. “Yes.”

Jingrui gathered him closer and turned them, settling Yujin back against the now-disordered pillows. A little wryly, he added, “Though I’m not sure if I’m ready to try exactly that, just yet.”

Yujin settled back with a small, contented sound, and reached up to brush back Jingrui’s hair. “Of course not. I don’t think I’d have tried it myself, yet, if I hadn’t had advice.”

Jingrui stopped quite still for a long moment. “…advice?”

Yujin’s eyes were sparkling again. “Mm. From the ladies I visit. They thought it was sweet, that I asked.”

Jingrui sputtered. “You… you asked… Yujin!”

Yujin laughed at him, reaching up to pull him down and hug him tight. When Jingrui had given up and stopped sputtering, and Yujin had finished laughing, he added, softer, “If it ever happened, I wanted to get it right.”

Jingrui gave over and held him close, helplessly tender. “Then thank you.” When he lifted his head, he could see Yujin was blushing at that, and cradled him closer, kissing him softly, coaxing. The way Yujin answered him, so open, so willing, made it easy to run his hands down Yujin’s body, slow and caressing, glad to have an answer for the hunger in him. When he wrapped his fingers around Yujin’s length and stroked him, the shaky edge to Yujin’s moan made heat curl through him in response. The knowledge that Yujin wanted this, wanted him, so much, settled warm in his chest, and he worked his hand over Yujin, slow and firm, attending to what made him gasp or arch up against Jingrui.

Yujin liked to be touched firmly. He liked to be kissed while Jingrui rubbed a thumb over the head of his cock. And when Jingrui bit gently at his lower lip, hand tightening on him, Yujin bucked up sharply into his hand, moaning out loud, hands tight on Jingrui’s shoulders as he came undone. Jingrui smiled, pleased, and swallowed the sounds he made in a deep, fierce kiss, stroking him until he stilled.

“Oh,” Yujin said, softly, eyes a little dazed when he looked up at Jingrui. Now Jingrui understood the satisfaction in Yujin’s smile perfectly, and cuddled Yujin close with a contented sound. When Yujin curled into him, relaxed and easy, Jingrui thought he might be perfectly happy to stay this way for always. At some point, no doubt, food and work would get them out of bed again, but for now at least, they could stay here and he could soak up the feeling of Yujin, warm and close in his arms.

Jingrui pressed a kiss to Yujin’s now-mussed hair, and smiled.


Contrary to the image he’d cultivated over the years, Yujin was actually quite well-versed in self-control. A seamless social front was not achieved through lax control, and even less by ignoring the unspoken rules of one’s environment. Nevertheless, he had to admit that it was extremely tempting to ignore them for just long enough to lean over the writing table that held their latest plans for interior drills, and kiss Jingrui. From the way Jingrui was grinning sidelong at him as they sorted lists of archers to decide who got the fixed position and who got to sortie, Yujin was fairly sure he was aware of the urge, which did nothing to discourage the idea. Rather the reverse, actually.

Just as he was about to abandon the personnel lists and kiss that curve off Jingrui’s lips, though, there was a brisk rap on the door frame and Yujin looked up to see Lin Shu standing in it. From the way the corners of his mouth were curling up, he probably knew just what they’d been about to do, also. Yujin sighed; this was what he got for letting his guard down, he supposed. “Lin Shu ge-ge. Hi.”

Jingrui promptly blushed and straightened up with a self-conscious look. Yujin shook his head, smiling helplessly. Jingrui was so transparent. It was adorable, when it wasn’t alarming him.

Lin Shu chuckled and stepped in, taking the seat Jingrui hastily cleared off. “Good afternoon to you. I’m glad I caught you both here.”

“Was there something you needed…” Jingrui hesitated and glanced at Yujin before finishing, more formal than usual, “sir?”

Yujin tried not to let that little bit of thoughtfulness make him smile too foolishly, and settled himself to attend to their cousin.

“Just some clarification, really. We’re finally ready to start clearing out the problems among the lower ranks of the armies, and that overlaps your own work in places.” Lin Shu gave Yujin a level look. “Did you want to keep working on Wan Fa, yourself?”

Yujin froze, reflex panic flashing cold down his nerves; if they knew about Wan Fa, they knew about Jingrui’s involvement…

“Only Jingyan and I know,” Lin Shu said quietly. “We have not spoken of it, even to his mother or wife.” Just as Yujin was starting to take a full breath again, he added, “Not yet.” He sighed and shook his head at Yujin’s hand, suddenly clenched around the list he’d been holding. “Yujin, think. Lady Jing, at the very least, will need to know of this when Yuwen Nian marries Prince Ning, if only to guide her against any repeat.” A little more gently, he finished, “And you have to know you won’t be able to keep Jingrui entirely in the background any longer, now you both have positions in the capital.”

“What are you talking about?” Jingrui was frowning. “Yujin has never…” He stopped at Lin Shu’s raised hand, but he was still frowning, still puzzling at the words, and Yujin took a long breath, trying not to glare at their cousin for letting on so much. That wouldn’t help.

“We’re only battalion Commanders. There’s no reason for anyone but Army Vice-Commander Sun or High Commander Meng to take notice of us, is there?” he asked, tightly, more a demand than a question, really.

“For now,” Lin Shu agreed, so easily Yujin was already wary when he added, “But the two of you are bright and skilled. You can’t imagine you’ll go very long without being promoted.” He leaned over the table, eyes turning sharp. “Especially when we need exactly that, in our officers.”

Yujin bit his lip. He didn’t need Lin Shu to draw it out for him, from there. If there was need, then of course Jingrui would be promoted, quite possibly into Sun Wen’s position; the Army Vice-Commander had made no secret of his desire to get back to his retirement once the Jin army was back on its feet. And an Army Vice-Commander of the Jin army was too high and too close to the Palace to be ignored any longer. The first minister who happened to be nearby the next time Jingrui was irritated over some remnant of corruption that affected his men or their duties would know the kind of vulnerability Jingrui’s idealism could provide, likely before Jingrui got to the end of his sentence. And at that point, Yujin wouldn’t be able to stop whoever it might be from using Jingrui as a lever or a tool, from blackmailing him with the threat of reporting disloyalty to the Emperor, from using him as an unknowing conduit to the Crown Prince’s ear, from using Jingrui’s easy friendship as a counter in the games of court, not unless…

“So,” Lin Shu said quietly. “Knowing what is coming, do you wish to keep working on Wan Fa yourself, or shall I deal with this, for now?”

Yujin closed his eyes. Now he knew what Lin Shu was really here to find out. “I’ll keep this one,” he answered, low. The sooner he got started building his contacts and reputation, the better.

A warm hand covered his wrist, and he opened his eyes to see Jingrui leaning over the table toward him, eyes sharp and rather fierce. “Yujin, what are you talking about?”

Yujin chewed on his lip, looking back. He’d never actually told Jingrui what it was he did. Jingrui had been so angry and upset over the little they’d understood of the fall of Lin and Prince Qi’s household that Yujin hadn’t thought he’d go along with it, and that had never quite changed. But there was trust and belief looking back at him, now, in Jingrui’s level gaze, and he couldn’t betray that.

“Yujin,” Jingrui said again, softly, hand tightening. “You’re about to do something dangerous, aren’t you? Tell me. Let me help.”

Yujin’s mouth quirked. As much as Jingrui didn’t usually pay attention to social (or political) nuances, Lin Shu’s very presence was surely enough to tell him this was dangerous, yes. “I…” He sighed, leaning both elbows on the table. “Ever since the Chiyan case, I’ve tried to keep you away from politics.”

Jingrui blinked at him for a moment, but then, slowly, nodded. “Because you thought it would be dangerous?”

“Because it was dangerous,” Yujin said, flatly. “Idealists die in our court. It’s just what happens. I think…” he looked down at his hands. “I think that’s why my father withdrew to the temples, as much as he could.”

“It was,” Lin Shu put in, softly, and Yujin nodded.

“So I listened, at parties and events, for the names of the people who were playing court games, and I tried to keep you from getting involved, sidetrack you however I could. Which didn’t get any easier when the Marquis started playing both sides,” he added, disgruntled just remembering how much that had complicated his life.

That was why…?” Jingrui huffed a soft laugh. “Oh, Yujin.” He let go of Yujin’s wrist and laced their fingers together instead, gently. When Yujin looked up, he was smiling. “Thank you. For taking care.”

That gentleness pulled words out of Yujin before he thought to stop them. “Of course I took care. You and my father were all that was left.”

The slow widening of Jingrui’s eyes made him tense again; had that been too much to admit, too much to ask for (again)? But Jingrui’s hand tightened on his, holding him. “Yujin…” Jingrui took a breath and said, steady. “I’m sorry.”

Yujin blinked, caught flat-footed by that, and Jingrui smiled a little, ruefully.

“I’m sorry I didn’t see. I made life harder for you, didn’t I?”

Yujin shook his head. “It was something I chose to do on my own.” Jingrui’s grip tightened again for a moment, stilling him.

“If we’re promoted… it will be harder again, won’t it?”

Yujin took a breath and shook his head again, feeling certainty settle in his chest. “No more than usual. Not if I’m in the ministries.”

Jingrui took a breath to protest—Yujin knew it was going to be a protest—but then he stopped. Slowly, watching Yujin carefully, he asked instead, “Will you be happy, doing that? I know you’re good at it. I know you can. I know you think you need to. But will it make you happy?”

Yujin opened his mouth only to close it again, a little nonplussed at how thoroughly Jingrui had closed down all the answers he’d normally have used to dodge the actual question. Jingrui’s smile, a little chiding and a little coaxing, said he knew it, too. “All right, all right,” Yujin huffed, but had to smile back. “Yes. I think it will.” He waved a hand at his writing table, stacked with more reports than any other Commander in Jin willingly invited, all in the name of knowing what was going on. “It seems to be what I do.”

“All right then,” Jingrui agreed, softly, and lifted their hands to press a kiss to Yujin’s fingers.

Yujin turned very red and shot a quick look at Lin Shu, who was, thankfully, pretending to look at the shelves and not notice. “Jingrui!” he hissed.

Jingrui just laughed, not letting go of his hand, and Yujin gave him a long-suffering look. He didn’t pull away, though.

“Well, if that’s settled,” Lin Shu murmured, looking very entertained, “think about where you’d like to enter, Yujin. Either State Revenue or the Bureau of Discipline would be easy to fit you into, but if you have your eye on another route, tell me.”

“Where are you expecting those routes to go?” Yujin asked, a little cautious. He had cause to trust Lin Shu’s ability to plot these things, and that he was well disposed toward them, but he also had a lively respect for his cousin’s ruthlessness. And however much affection Lin Shu ge-ge had for them, he was the Crown Prince’s man, now. Whatever he did would serve Jingyan’s ends first of all.

Lin Shu rose, shaking his robes straight, and smiled down at them. “Yan has produced two Chancellors, for this nation. Perhaps it should be three, hm?”

Jingrui’s eyes widened, but Yujin smiled, even as he felt his face heat again at that casual vote of confidence. He’d been seen, and seen clearly, and for once he thought he didn’t mind it—not when it meant Lin Shu understood how far Yujin would go to keep his own safe, and was willing to support him in that. “If you think so.”

"I do."

Yujin ducked his head, honestly flattered by the firm certainty in his cousin’s voice, and Lin Shu ge-ge patted his shoulder as he stepped past, toward the door. Yujin sat back as he swept out, and tightened his grip on Jingrui’s hand, feeling more settled than he had in a long time.

This was his, and this he would guard.


The year had turned, and all through the city families celebrated whatever fortune had favored them, hoped for more in the new year, gathered to drive out the winter darkness and welcome in the new life of spring.

Jingrui wandered through the soft, colored brightness of the Lantern Festival at Yujin’s side, as they’d done so often over the years. This year, though, he found himself suddenly more aware of some things. He’d always teased Yujin about how much attention he tended to attract, during the festival, but this was the first time Jingrui had gotten personally annoyed by the number of matrons and chaperones and matchmakers who found a moment to pause their party by Yujin and Jingrui, and have a few smiling words with the son and only heir of the Yan family. This year, he had to stop himself from ‘accidentally’ stepping between Yujin and the next party they saw that included a girl out for a promenade at the festival.

No sooner did he notice the urge, though, then he also noticed something else. Yujin looked like he was flirting; he smiled and flattered the older women, and said kind things about the young women, loudly enough to be overheard. But he was also, unmistakably, turning them away. It tugged at Jingrui’s attention more and more as the evening drew on, and once he started really watching, he could see that Yujin’s body language turned reserved, straightening into a quiet restraint, every time another party approached them. Without a word spoken directly, one mother or matchmaker after another patted Yujin’s arm and passed on, sweeping the girls along without a backward glance.

And then Yujin would relax, and lean against his shoulder, and laugh openly again.

The more Jingrui saw, as they wound past the stalls of lanterns and the bright-glowing fronts of the capital’s mansions and pavilions, the more he thought back over other festivals or parties or outings he’d seen Yujin at, always smiling and laughing—what else had he been doing, all that time, that Jingrui hadn’t noticed?

Not that he really needed to ask, after Lin Shu ge-ge’s recent visit. Still, when they fetched up at a grove on the edge of the east district’s pond, quieter and a bit darker than the streets if still fairly crowded with strolling groups, he drew Yujin closer and asked softly, “How much of that have you been doing, all this time?”

Yujin’s dark eyes looked bottomless in the evening’s soft glow. “As much as seemed necessary,” he answered, low.

“Necessary,” Jingrui repeated, slowly, turning over the things Yujin had said during that startling meeting. “To keep me safe.”

Yujin just nodded, as if it were perfectly self-evident, and Jingrui couldn’t help laughing, soft and more than a little stunned. “All that… all this time…” Jingrui swallowed hard and reached out, careless of who might be watching, and pulled Yujin close, holding him tight.

“Thank you,” he whispered against Yujin’s ear.

Yujin made a dismissive sound, but his arms wound tight around Jingrui. Jingrui leaned back far enough to look him in the eye, and closed his hands around Yujin’s face, gently, to make sure of it. “Yujin, listen. I’m yours, all right? Whatever happens, whatever it is we do with our lives, I’m yours. Just like you’re mine. You have my word.” He could feel the tremor that went through Yujin, at that, though the only visible sign of his reaction was a little widening of his eyes, and nodded to himself. He thought he was figuring out how to read Yujin properly again, the way he hadn’t, perhaps, since they were much younger. Since before the fall of Lin and Prince Qi.

Thinking that, he listened to the way Yujin’s body swayed just a little towards him, and leaned back in to kiss him, slow and sure, in the warm light of the lanterns—kissed him until the quick clench of Yujin’s hands in the back of his robes eased, until Yujin’s mouth against his softened from the first desperate hunger.

Then, at last, he drew back and rested his forehead against Yujin’s, smiling. “So. Go ahead and take over Jingyan ge-ge’s government, if it will make you happy, and I’ll see to his soldiers. And let me guard your back, as you guard mine.”

Yujin smiled back, brighter than all the lanterns in the streets behind them, and answered, softly, “Yes.”

“Good.” Jingrui stepped back, sliding a hand down to tangle their fingers together, and tugged Yujin back toward the brightly lit streets. As they plunged back into the light, even when Yujin’s grip on his hand eased, as if to obey propriety and reserve, and let go, Jingrui only tightened his hold.

He would never let this go again.

End

The Yellow Season

I swear, I do not normally make terrible linguistic jokes in my titles, so let’s just consider this one truth in advertising.

One of the things that had surprised Jingyan the most about xiao-Shu, in bed, was that he liked to be held. Jingyan had very clear memories of xiao-Shu being always in motion, always a little restless. He’d liked being in contact, definitely, always reaching for Jingyan’s arm or leaning into an arm thrown around his shoulders, so it hadn’t actually surprised him that xiao-Shu liked it when Jingyan left the marks of his mouth on xiao-Shu’s skin. That was the kind of reminder he could have guessed xiao-Shu would enjoy having. But the xiao-Shu of fifteen years ago had been quick-fire and restless, and not the type Jingyan would ever have expected to like being in any way restrained.

Xiao-Shu now, though, made little sounds of satisfaction when Jingyan’s weight settled over him, or when Jingyan folded his arms around him and held him close. When Jingyan’s fingers wrapped around his wrist so that Jingyan could press a kiss to the inside of it, xiao-Shu’s eyes dropped closed for a breath and his lips parted softly.

And so, this evening, Jingyan let his hold on xiao-Shu’s wrist tighten, winding his fingers firmly around it, and watched xiao-Shu closely. The quick hitch in his breath made Jingyan nod to himself; he was fairly sure he was right about this.

“Jingyan?” xiao-Shu asked, a little husky.

Jingyan gathered xiao-Shu closer and turned them, easing xiao-Shu back against the bed and stretching out over him. He caught xiao-Shu’s soft, pleased sound in a kiss, and said quietly, against his mouth. “My heart. My own.” Xiao-Shu relaxed back against the blankets, a smile curving his lips in response; xiao-Shu, now, also liked it when Jingyan reminded him that he belonged here, with Jingyan. Belonging—that was the key, wasn’t it? Jingyan wrapped his fingers gently around xiao-Shu’s other wrist as well and pressed them both to the bed over xiao-Shu’s head.

Xiao-Shu’s eyes went wide and dark, and his whole body arched up taut under Jingyan’s. “Jingyan…” He could feel tiny tremors running the length of xiao-Shu’s body, feel the sudden quickness of his breath.

“My own,” he repeated, low and sure, sliding a leg between xiao-Shu’s thighs and pressing up between them. Xiao-Shu moaned, low and open, grinding up against him with a complete lack of restraint that made Jingyan’s own breath come faster. Perhaps this wasn’t something he would have expected of xiao-Shu, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t put the pieces together when they were in front of him—and he was more than willing to oblige. He tightened his hold on xiao-Shu’s wrists a little and bent his head to bite, slow and firm, up and down the line of xiao-Shu’s neck.

“Jingyan…!” The note in xiao-Shu’s voice was breathless and yearning, the flex of his body under Jingyan’s hold increasingly wanton. Jingyan made wordless, encouraging sounds as he sucked the marks on xiao-Shu’s neck darker, each one sending xiao-Shu bucking up against him.

“My own, my xiao-Shu,” he murmured against xiao-Shu’s ear, rocking his thigh firmly between xiao-Shu’s legs. “It’s all right; I won’t let go.”

"Yes, this, please." Xiao-Shu sounded near incoherent, and he was pushing up against Jingyan so hard that, if he weren’t begging, Jingyan might be having second thoughts. He had to hold tight enough to xiao-Shu’s wrists, to keep him pinned, that he might be leaving marks there, too. Given the way xiao-Shu was pulling against his grip, he wondered if that was exactly what xiao-Shu wanted. The thought sent a curl of heat through him.

So he settled his weight more securely over xiao-Shu and pinned his wrists hard against the bed. He pushed his thigh up between xiao-Shu’s legs and, when xiao-Shu arched up against him, head falling back, leaned down and closed his teeth on xiao-Shu’s throat.

Xiao-Shu cried out, shaking under Jingyan’s hold as he came undone all in a rush, flushed and half-wild, so beautiful in this moment that Jingyan couldn’t look away. It took a long time for xiao-Shu to quiet again, and even then his breath was still quick, his eyes dark and dilated when he looked up at Jingyan. Jingyan held him against the bed, gentle and firm, and waited.

“Jingyan,” xiao-Shu finally whispered, wetting his lips. “What…?”

“It seemed like something you wished,” Jingyan answered, quietly.

Xiao-Shu took in a quick, trembling breath, eyes falling closed. “I…” He couldn’t seem to find words to go on.

“If it is something you wish,” Jingyan finally said, voice soft, “then you can have it.” He tightened his hold on xiao-Shu’s wrists for a moment.

The sound xiao-Shu made was low and rough and wanting, and the words that followed seemed shaken from him. “I do. I want it, I wanted it so much, then. For you to hold me by you, and not release me. Even when—”

“Even when what?” Jingyan prompted, when he broke off. When xiao-Shu opened his eyes, the desperation in them struck Jingyan breathless.

“Even when I pushed you back, because I couldn’t stand what it would mean.” Xiao-Shu’s voice was raw. “To watch you watch me die… I couldn’t do it. And even so, even then, I wanted.”

Jingyan let his wrists go only so that he could catch xiao-Shu tighter against him, wrapping himself close around xiao-Shu, as if he could ward off even that memory with his own body. Xiao-Shu held just as tight to him, still shaking a little. Jingyan ran a hand up his back into his hair and told him, soft and fierce, “Then I will hold you by me, and not release you.”

“Yes,” xiao-Shu said, low and breathless, pressing his forehead to Jingyan’s shoulder. “Please. Until I can believe it.”

“And after, too.” Jingyan smiled against his hair and stroked his thumb down xiao-Shu’s neck, pressing gently over the marks he’d left, pleased by the hitch of xiao-Shu’s breath—this time, there was a bit of a laugh in it.

“And after,” xiao-Shu agreed, softly, and if there was still more hesitance in it than Jingyan liked, at least it was agreement. He settled xiao-Shu more comfortably against him, running slow fingers up and down his nape, soothing that flicker of tension in him until xiao-Shu sighed and relaxed against him again. And he let the knowledge sink into him, that it hadn’t actually been politics that xiao-Shu had put ahead of their hearts, two years ago.

Jingyan held xiao-Shu closer and smiled, soft and open.

End

Red Heart and White Sword

One

“I suppose I should see if the Lin manor can be reclaimed and repaired,” Lin Shu mused, hands clasped behind him as he, Nihuang, and Jingyan walked slowly through the palace complex’s roofed walks toward the Eastern Palace and Jingyan’s waiting work. Jingyan was the one walking slowest, he was rather amused to note.

“And perhaps beg some staff from someone,” Nihuang put in ruefully. “We came on so fast we left almost the entire rest of our train and escort a day or two behind, and we don’t keep more than a handful of people at the Mu house here, regularly.”

Jingyan nodded to a small herd of ministers who crowded out of their way and bowed—and started whispering as soon as they’d passed, Lin Shu noted. “Go to my house in town, then. It’s almost fully staffed.” His mouth quirked at the corner, the quieter relative of that irreverent grin Lin Shu had always loved to pull out of him. “Since none of my officers really wished to enter the ranks of the Palace officials at this point in their lives.”

“Jingyan! You didn’t actually suggest that to them, did you?” Nihuang asked, eyes dancing.

“No.” Jingyan’s smile faded. “I wasn’t in the mood for laughing, at the time.”

Lin Shu laid a hand on his shoulder, squeezing tight for a moment. “I’m here,” he said, softly. “I will remain here.”

Jingyan took a quick breath and visibly settled himself. “Yes. And I said it a long time ago, didn’t I?” he added, more briskly. “What’s mine is yours, including that house. Stay as long as you like.”

It was Lin Shu’s turn to feel his breath catch, though he knew it should be no surprise that Jingyan also remembered.

Nihuang slid a thoughtful look back and forth between them, and finally smiled. “We will, then.” At Lin Shu’s raised brows she tucked a hand into his and otherwise ignored him, still smiling, which meant she wanted to tease him over knowing something he didn’t. It probably said something about his own nature that he found that endearing. He laced his fingers with hers, ignoring the sidelong glances of passing officials and the faint quivering of Jingyan’s shoulders that said he was trying not to laugh at them. It was their own business if they wanted to take this delayed opportunity to act like youngsters in love. “You should join us, in the mornings, for practice forms” Nihuang added, to Jingyan.

Lin Shu winced, pride twinging a bit, but Nihuang just gave him a stubborn look. He knew she was right, that a partner closer to his own build would probably help him re-find the edges of himself more quickly, but he still had to take a moment to stifle the internal wail that said he didn’t want Jingyan to see how much he’d lost.

Jingyan, for his part, had stopped still in the middle of the open walk between buildings, eyes wide. “Xiao-Shu… you can do forms again?” The first, faint stir of delight in his voice, and the aching hope in those words snuffed any remaining protest like a pinched-out candle.

“My sword forms are still appallingly stiff, and I can’t complete any but the lowest leaps.” Lin Shu’s mouth tilted wryly. “The Lin swordmaster would weep. But yes. Every morning.” Looking away, through the pillars of the outer walk ahead of them, he admitted, softly. “You would be welcome.”

“Then I will come,” Jingyan told him, just as softly.

“Excellent,” Nihuang declared, looking downright smug as she caught their arms and towed them back into motion. “For now, then, you can show us what’s giving you a headache, Jingyan.”

“Nothing is giving me a headache.” Jingyan disengaged from her grip, nearly rolling his eyes.

“Then show us what would be giving you a headache if you were not Lady Jing’s son,” Lin Shu specified, and shared a knowing look with Nihuang when Jingyan’s gaze slid aside. More seriously, he added, “Jingyan. This is exactly what I came back in order to help you with. Let me.”

Now Jingyan returned his gaze, steady and serious. “Even though you hoped to be done with being the strategist, after my brother Prince Qi’s and Lin’s and Chiyan’s names were restored?”

For a long moment, he was silent, because that had been true. “I did finish with it, though,” he said at last, slowly. “And I returned to my old self, my own world, long enough to die there. I thought that would be the end of it, and I still believe I was right about that. This,” he swept a hand around, at the palace, at the ministers and officials and ladies moving through the halls and gardens, each intent on their own ends and ambitions, and the three of them in the middle of it all, “this is what comes after that end, another new life.” He gave Jingyan a tiny smile. “Now, what I can do, all that I can do, is for you and with you, nothing held back. That’s as it should be, and I have no wish to be done with it.”

Jingyan paused at the turn in to the Eastern Palace’s garden walk, and Lin Shu saw true relief in the faint easing of his shoulders. “Xiao-Shu,” Jingyan said, softly. “Thank you.”

“If you thank me too often, I’m going to start calling you Your Highness again,” Lin Shu warned.

Jingyan laughed at that. “Fine. Come on, then.” He gestured them down the walk, and Lin Shu exchanged satisfied smiles with Nihuang. Her eyes were dancing, like she was laughing at them, again.

Eventually, he’d have to figure out what it was she thought he didn’t know.


Things that were attempting to give him headaches took them all the way through dinner, and for once Jingyan didn’t feel bad for complaining. Nihuang might not be any more of an adept at politics than he was, but they all knew how to read a situation and xiao-Shu seemed to know most of what he said even before he said it.

“Of course Zhu Yue still bears a grudge; he’s actually quite aware of the city’s political currents, even if a mole would have a better view of the country’s larger concerns.” Xiao-Shu pointed a sliver of dried apricot at Jingyan. “As far as he’s concerned, you’re directly responsible for his sister’s death.”

Nihuang rolled her eyes and pushed his hand toward his mouth. “I’ll hardly deny that it was our actions that brought Prince Yu down, but even if Lady Zhu had really died, that would have been her own choice; she wasn’t condemned with him.”

“I did say Zhu Yue had a narrow view.” Xiao-Shu finally popped the bit of apricot into his mouth. “He’ll bear watching, even demoted, but I doubt he’ll go beyond a little obstructionism. She was always the one with the most courage, in that family.”

Jingyan sat back, trying not to laugh as Nihuang nudged a dish of dumplings under xiao-Shu’s hand without looking. “Are you practicing for your future children?” he finally asked. It was at least the fourth time she’d done it, this meal. Nihuang snorted inelegantly.

“Hardly. It’s that this one has gotten careless,” she aimed a quelling look at xiao-Shu’s indignant sound, “and always forgets that he has an appetite again, or what one is supposed to do with an appetite.”

“I eat,” xiao-Shu protested mildly. Jingyan eyed the dishes around them; xiao-Shu’s were, perhaps, half as empty as his and Nihuang’s. At his raised brows, xiao-Shu sighed and reached for another dumpling. Nihuang gave Jingyan a pleased, complicit nod, and Jingyan made a note to see how soon he could take xiao-Shu to his mother, who could give authoritative orders about how much to make sure he ate—orders that xiao-Shu might even follow, coming from her. It was xiao-Shu’s open amusement and the laughter in Nihuang’s eyes that he took to bed with him, though, the still-strong wonder that the brother of his heart had returned to him, and when his eyes opened on the soft light of early morning, he was smiling.

It was good, so very good, to step out into the cool air and see Lin Shu and Mu Nihuang standing in the middle of his house’s open training ground as if they had never left. Good to settle into his stance beside them without needing a word spoken, and move as one, hands sweeping up in the opening movement of the first form they’d all been taught. Good, above all, to watch Lin Shu out of the corner of his eye and see steadiness in the slow sweep of his feet over the dusty ground, true calm in his eyes and not the brittle, desperate edge of a year ago.

They were all quiet for a long moment after closing, all three of them, he thought, basking a little in having regained this peace together. At last, though, Nihuang stretched and nudged xiao-Shu with her shoulder. “You should do paired forms with Jingyan, today.”

“Are you all right continuing?” Jingyan couldn’t help asking, a little hesitant to even bring it up but remembering all too well the days of illness that had come after even small exertions, last year.

Xiao-Shu chuckled, sweeping one hand up to guard and beckoning. “Amazingly, yes. I can’t come close to full speed or force, and Lin Chen threatened some fairly grisly things if I dared break a bone while practicing, but we haven’t even been out here for half a shi. I’ll be fine.” His smile turned into a flashing grin that nearly knocked Jingyan’s breath out with the weight of years suddenly rolling back. “Just be gentle with me, hm?”

“Yes, of course.” Jingyan couldn’t even blame Nihuang for stifling laughter as she took up a practice sword and stepped apart, ruefully aware that he’d answered far more earnestly than the joke probably called for. But that, too, was familiar, and he was smiling back as he stepped forward, letting that old shock of contact roll over him as his arm met xiao-Shu’s and his other hand drove in, past xiao-Shu’s shoulder as he turned, not as light on his feet as he’d once been, not as sure, but still fluid in a way Jingyan had given up hope of seeing again.

Their rhythm was different now, and the shape their forms took against each other. Jingyan had always been given to driving through the center, but had also always kept his own center, been careful not to overextend. Xiao-Shu used to work around the edges of him, forcing him to turn, breaking his footing, leaping to catch his back. Now there were no leaps or lunges, only the fluid swirl of Lin Shu’s movement around and past his strikes, so that any strike immediately edged on overextension, ran the risk of giving xiao-Shu his back. It was… exhilarating. Now, their rhythm together demanded all his skill, just to keep xiao-Shu from controlling it completely.

Perhaps it was exactly that which led him to push a little faster, and then a little more. In the end, it was xiao-Shu’s step that stumbled, tangled, and tripped. That snapped Jingyan out of the form’s focus, and he lunged forward to catch xiao-Shu before he fell. They stopped there for a long moment, clutching each other and leaning together, panting for breath. “Was that too fast?” Jingyan finally managed to ask.

“A little,” xiao-Shu admitted, in exactly the same tone he’d used to allow that his first sword wound hurt ‘a little’. He huffed a bit at Jingyan’s dark look, and pushed himself upright. “I wasn’t exactly complaining.”

“You never do. That’s why we worry,” Nihuang pointed out, closing her sword drill to come and wind her fingers with xiao-Shu’s, tugging a little. “Come wash up, both of you.”

“Fine, fine,” xiao-Shu agreed, tolerantly. “But if either of you try to treat me like glass tomorrow, you’ll regret it.”

Jingyan smiled, reassured by the familiarity of the threat. “All right.”

He thought he could get used to having xiao-Shu around again very quickly.

Interlude: Appraisal

Lu Jian, one of the better architects in Jinglin if he did say so himself, stood in the first courtyard of the Lin Manor, hands planted on his hips, and turned on his heel to get a sense of the place. Six courtyards and three gardens, one of them a water garden—he wasn’t looking forward to that cleaning job—not counting the tangle of the kitchen gardens, now an impenetrable riot of herbs and gourds. The bones of the place were still elegant, but rich paint was weathered off and peeling, everywhere, the metal sheathing at the feet of the pillars was grimy, and tile and shingles were cracked on nearly every surface they covered.

“This is going to be a pretty big job,” his senior foreman, Shi Ping, said, squinting up at the underside of the inner gate. “We’ve never worked on someplace let to rot for quite this long. The framing will need checking, everywhere.”

“Make sure you check the supports before you let anyone up on the roofs.” Shi Ping gave him a patient look in answer, and Lu Jian laughed. “I know you know, but there’s always someone on the crew who thinks he can rush.”

“If there are any, I’ll give him a scythe and send him out to clear the west field; looks like they kept that one trimmed down.” Shi Ping was circling the courtyard, and paused when he got to the inner hall, on the north side. “Or maybe make them work on this hall.”

Lu Jian blinked at that; the steps didn’t look in that bad of shape. “Why that hall?” He strode across the courtyard to join his foreman, kicking debris and broken clay shingles out of the way as he went. When he got to the steps, though, he stopped short. “Oh.”

Some attempt at clean-up had been made at some point, but there was still a wide stain on the landing, just before the doors to the hall, where something dark had seeped through the paint, blistering it up and soaking into the wood. Someone had died on these steps, without question; died and been let to lie for a time.

“The Lin family have a hall of remembrance,” Lu Jian said, quietly. “You remember; last year, the Emperor himself led the first prayers. And their son has surely performed all the rites, since he returned.”

Shi Ping, kneeling beside the steps to check for warping, gave him a speaking look, and Lu Jian sighed.

“No, you’re right. We’ll make an offering, before we start.” He rubbed his arms briskly, where goose-flesh had risen at the sight of that stain. “And we’ll replace these steps first thing, I think.”

Shi Ping grunted approvingly, as he stood. “Good idea. This is going to be a tough enough job, as it is.”

Two

Cai Quan knew that, objectively, his life was far easier now than it would have been under Prince Yu or, thank the Heavens for forbidding it, Prince Xian, or even the Emperor had he still been the one whose hand was on the reins of the Ministries. He knew this. He knew that having a reasonable assurance of being able to take action when he uncovered some bit of corruption in his ministry was a gift, that the full-blooded support of a Crown Prince like Xiao Jingyan was a blessing. He knew that.

It just didn’t make the apparently unending parade of peculation and bribery and misappropriation and plain old incompetence any less frustrating.

He exchanged bows in passing with a palace official, as he stalked down the breezeways to the Eastern Palace, and tried to ignore the obvious amusement in the man’s smile. Yes, he was here a lot. Yes, he was usually annoyed over the reason. That was not actually a good thing! He stumped up the steps and waited for his presence to be called; at least the Crown Prince’s close attendants were more sympathetic than amused. They undoubtedly got to watch the ongoing struggle to bail out the exceedingly leaky boat of the government from much closer up, and with the immediacy of it being their own master who was getting blisters from hauling the buckets.

Cai Quan shook off these rather frivolous mental images as Zhou Wei, who had taken over managing the Eastern Palace after the debacle of the old Crown Prince, gestured him in, pulling his thoughts back to the day’s business. “Your Highness…” He only got halfway through his greeting before the presence of the man beside the Crown Prince’s desk registered, and then he nearly swallowed his own tongue, staring. “…Su-xiansheng?” he finished, a little weakly. The clothes were different, finer than he’d ever seen on the man he’d only met once or twice, at the Prince’s own manor in the city, the expression was different, the stance was different, but that was the face he remembered throwing a litany of betrayed history in the Emperor’s teeth.

Su Zhe only smiled at him, a slow curl of lips that nearly made him take a step back. “I’m afraid you’ve mistaken me for someone else, Minister. I am Lin Shu.” He bowed gracefully in greeting.

Cai Quan fumbled a bow back, stunned. Lin Shu? Lin Shu? He’d speculated, with Shen, that their Prince’s brilliant strategist had to be someone from Prince Qi’s or the Lin’s service, but the Vice-Marshal of Chiyan, himself? How was it possible?

The Prince directed a tolerant look at the impossible man standing at his side, and Cai Quan had to admit, dazed, that it was exactly the kind of look one would give a cherished but mischievous younger relative. “Vice-Marshal,” he finally managed. “Congratulations on your return.” He was most definitely dragging Shen Zhui out drinking this evening; this was news that called for alcohol along with it, and perhaps Shen Zhui’s advice on how much to say to anyone else.

“You had something for my attention?” the Prince asked, and Cai Quan shook himself back to the business at hand.

“Yes, Highness.” He fished the report folio out of his sleeve and proffered it. “Evidence of some long-running misappropriation has come up, in the southern Qing Li supply depot. Investigations have only started, but this is a list of the missing equipment so far.” His mouth twisted. “I learned only recently that the Ministry of War might have suffered some delay in passing the information on to you.”

The Prince flicked open the report, frowning more and more darkly as he read down the fairly extensive list. “You think someone there is involved?”

“As I said, Your Highness, the investigation has only begun.” At the Prince’s sharp look, though, Cai Quan admitted, “I think it likely.” Shen Zhui would complain about quick judgments, but really, what else could it be?

Su… rather Lin Shu, was reading over the Prince’s shoulder. “Mmm. This was probably sold off to the Dao rebellion in Southern Chu.”

The Prince looked up at him, brows raised, and Lin Shu’s mouth quirked up. “Look.” He leaned over the Prince’s shoulder to tap the start of the list. “There’s plenty of horse-gear taken, yes, but it’s all basically replacement straps, no saddles, no stirrups even; that lot was taken to be resold for money.”

“And without that all the rest is skirmishers’ gear or food,” the Prince murmured. “I see. You think it goes back that far, though?”

“If it wasn’t critical before now…”

“…then it was a trickle over time, yes, but I thought Qi would be the ones to support Dao…”

“It’s Northern Yan that’s keeping Qi standing firm…”

“…which means they’d have the most stake in making sure Southern Chu was distracted…”

“…but also be the place hardest to get supplies out of.”

The Prince sighed and settled back in his chair. “We’ll need to check for Xuanjing involvement, then.”

Cai Quan shook his head a little, trying to catch up with that rush of shared thoughts weaving back and forth like currents in one river, and asked, “Xuanjing?” He would put little past the shadow agency, but selling off their own nation’s gear?

“Putting Dao in their debt, and possibly implicating Northern Yan in Chu’s internal politics, would have been a desirable move, from the viewpoint of the network of Hua agents that Xia Jiang wanted to keep control of,” Lin Shu supplied, and Cai Quan’s jaw tightened. Even dead, that man was still trouble.

“My investigators will be alert for the possibility.”

“Good.” The Prince nodded brisk dismissal, and Cai Quan took himself out, tallying up the wagon-load of extra documentation and background he’d probably need to have his people find, to unravel this one, and which of his inherited agents he might need to keep away from it lest old loyalties interfere. Perhaps he should put Xia Dong in charge of it…

He was definitely dragging Shen Zhui out for a drink, today.


“Nihuang!” Xia Dong strode through the pale hangings and dark wood of her outer rooms in the Nie manor to catch Nihuang in a quick hug before taking her shoulders and holding her a little away, eyeing her up and down, and finally smiling. “You look well. It’s true, then?”

Mu Nihuang smiled, the way she sometimes felt she hadn’t actually stopped smiling for months, now. “It’s true.” The smile faded a little as she reached out for Dong-jie’s hands. “And I wanted to speak with you about that.”

Dong-jie looked at her, dark and steady, for two long breaths and then nodded. “Come on, then.” She gestured Mu Nihuang toward the inner rooms and made shoo-ing motions at her attendants.

“Dong-jie,” Mu Nihuang admonished, laughing a little when Xia Dong rolled her eyes.

“I’ve never been the inside type, you know that.” She settled Mu Nihuang on one of the stools by her well-piled writing table and pulled up another. “Now. Tell me.”

Mu Nihuang folded her hands in her lap and took a breath to organize her thoughts. “There is a cure. It’s not a sure thing. It depends on finding enough people who will with all their hearts for him to live, who are willing to give a little of their own lives. And I know that is a weight on Shu-ge.” She looked up to meet Dong-jie’s sober gaze. “And it’s not… I mean, it’s…” She had to bite her lip to still its stubborn trembling. “It doesn’t erase anything of what they went through, before.”

“Oh,” Dong-jie whispered. “Oh, Nihuang…” She leaned forward, winding her arms back around Mu Nihuang, and she let herself cling tight for a moment while Dong-jie rubbed her back. Finally Dong-jie asked, gently, “I imagine touching is a difficult thing for him, still?”

Mu Nihuang nodded, sitting back just enough to blot her eyes on her cuff. She’d thought Dong-jie would probably understand; Nie Feng had almost certainly been dealing with the same thing.

The first time Shu-ge had come to her bed, after their so very long-delayed banquet, she’d been startled by how hesitant he was. He’d seen to her pleasure all right, with slow hands and mouth, but when she’d reached for him he’d flinched. And then apologized in a stifled, helpless voice while she’d been frozen, stricken. Only when she’d insisted had he told her, one slow, painful burst of words at a time, about thirteen years of pain and exhaustion and honest forgetting that pleasure of the body was even possible. Of feeling nothing but fury and betrayal for his own flesh. Of bitter, bone-deep knowing that he’d have nothing to give any lover, and the shock and blankness of mind he’d felt the first time his flesh stirred, after he’d woken up to this new life. They’d wound up huddled together among the covers and pillows, crying in each other’s arms, that night.

“The memory of pain is slow to leave,” Dong-jie said quietly, stroking her hair back with light fingers. “You’ve recovered from injuries before; you know.”

Mu Nihuang blinked hard and nodded. “A little. Yes. But Dong-jie, thirteen years…” Those light fingers touched her lips, hushing her, and Xia Dong’s smile was tight and tilted.

“Yes. It took… a long time before Feng-ge could even lie in the same bed with me, let alone anything more.” She huffed, half amused and half annoyed. “Of course, part of that was convincing him his appearance wouldn’t disgust me, silly man.” She took a deep breath, shoulders straightening. “But we have time, now, Nihuang. Time and peace that we’ve all fought for and won. So take it.”

Mu Nihuang took a breath of her own, telling herself to trust Dong-jie’s wisdom, which was what she’d come for, today, after all, and nodded, smiling through the wetness still in her eyes. “Yes, jie-jie.”

“Better,” Dong-jie said, firmly, and grinned at her. “And I hear you have a younger sister in your household, now, to help you?”

Mu Nihuang laughed, only a little damply. “Yes. She was so annoyed that I made her watch over the rest of the train while we came ahead; I’m going to have to make it up to her, when they get in.”

“Bring her to visit,” Dong-jie told her. “Or perhaps I’ll come see you. I still have to thank her for taking my place in the prison.”

“You’ll like her,” Mu Nihuang predicted. “She’s a lot like your agents.”

“Hmm.” Dong-jie got a speculative glint in her eye. “Perhaps she’d like a job…”


Gong Yu directed the unloading of the last horse with the same paper-thin smile she’d used on importunate clients when she was an entertainer, and stalked up the stairs of Prince Jing’s manor (which she knew her way around very well, thank you), and made for the inner halls, tugging the sleeves of her travel robes irritably straight. She still couldn’t believe she’d been left with the baggage, and yes, she knew that there’d been a definite chance of attack on the train of Lin Shu and Mu Nihuang, but really! She knew for a fact that two of the servants were men of Jiangzuo, and could look after affairs just fine without her!

“Jie-jie, the baggage is all disposed of,” she reported, a bit sulkily, as she entered Nihuang-jie’s rooms, and then stopped short in the entry. Nihuang-jie had company. And her company was the most beautiful woman Gong Yu had ever seen.

Gong Yu knew that she was considered very beautiful, and by classical standards she supposed it was true. She’d certainly used the fact often enough. But the woman standing to greet her was slim and straight as a sword, had swift, graceful hands that settled into place like the flick of a knife, and her sharp features were alive with a wicked, sardonic amusement.

“Thank you for taking care of the train, mei-mei,” Nihuang-jie was saying. “Come and greet Xia Dong, third rank official in the Ministry of Justice. Dong-jie, this is Gong Yu.”

Gong Yu hurried forward, and nearly wobbled as she dipped a bow of greeting. “Madam Nie.”

“Gong Yu.” A light touch under her elbow made her look up. Xia Dong’s smile had softened, and Gong Yu could feel herself blushing. “I didn’t get a chance, a year ago, but I wished very much to thank you for enabling me to leave the prison and see my husband.” She gave Gong Yu a bow, swift and precise as every other move she’d made. “My thanks.”

Gong Yu returned it hastily, unaccustomedly flustered, heart beating quick. “It was my honor to assist, Madam Nie.”

Xia Dong gave her a wry grin, and Gong Yu’s breath caught. “You’re part of the clan, now. No need to be so formal.”

Gong Yu blushed deeper, cheeks hot, and clasped her hands tight, wetting her lips. “Xia Dong jie-jie,” she amended, obediently.

Xia Dong clapped her lightly on the shoulder. “Better. Come tell me about how the roads are; it looks like I’ll be headed a little south soon, myself.” She sank down cross-legged by a low table with a tea set sitting out, fluid and graceful, without a single second of wasted motion. Gong Yu tried not to stare.

“You have a case?” Nihuang-jie asked as Gong Yu settled on the cushion beside Xia Dong, carefully graceful so as not to look like any more of a fool.

“Theft from one of the rear area army depots. A leftover from Xu Anmo’s style of leadership, I’m guessing.” Xia Dong’s mouth twisted expressively.

“Ah. That case.” Nihuang-jie poured more tea, passing Gong Yu the third cup. “Jingyan is angry over that one. He was in the field long enough to know well what happens to the troops who have to meet action when their supplies are interfered with.”

“Minister Cai isn’t too happy about it, either.” Xia Dong sipped her tea, and her mouth curved like a drawn bow, sweet and deadly. “That’s why he’s sending me.”

“The roads are clear near the capital,” Gong Yu supplied, hoping she didn’t sound breathless, “though they’ll be worsening soon, as the wet season sets in. I hope your case goes swiftly.” And that Xia Dong returned swiftly; it was a real shame she couldn’t do something about that directly, any more.

“I shall see that it does.” She give Gong Yu a knowing, sidelong smile. “Would you like to help?”

Gong Yu truly couldn’t help the way a smile took over her face. “Oh! May I?” She turned to Nihuang jie-jie, who was laughing behind her hand. “Jie-jie, may I? Oh, but…” she drooped on her cushion. “My lord wished for me to guard you, in the capital.”

Nihuang jie-jie made a hmph sound, setting her cup down with just a little more force than necessary. “Shu-ge can just learn that I can guard myself.”

Gong Yu nibbled her lip, somehow doubtful that this would satisfy Lin Shu.

Xia Dong shook her head, smile wry. “You’re in little danger, now. Tell you what, we’ll ask Lady Jing to have a few of her girls keep an eye out. Xiao-Shu won’t have qualms about her arrangements.”

Nihuang jie-jie positively smirked with satisfaction. “That should work.” She leaned over and patted Yu’s hand. “Go have fun, mei-mei.”

Gong Yu barely managed to hold back a squeak of excitement.


Lin Shu looked down at the woman in the circle of his arms, brows raised. “Are you telling me Dong-jie stole my concubine?”

Nihuang burst into such gales of laughter that he had to wonder if that was more accurate than he’d thought. “It will be good for her,” she said, when she’d finally recovered. “Gong Yu is used to having more to do; she gets impatient with nothing but household duties to occupy her.”

Lin Shu smiled, stroking back her loose hair with gentle fingers. “Like you?”

“Like me,” she agreed easily. “Only without the military training and experience that will keep me in place as one of the generals of the nation. This will be good for her. Besides,” she smirked, “Gong Yu has a crush on Dong-jie.”

When he murmured thanks to his ancestors, she swatted his shoulder, and he laughed, gathering her close. “I hope they have a good time together, then.” Against the darkness of her hair he added, still a little hesitant, even after their months together, “Come to bed?”

Her smile this time was sweet and brilliant, and she stood on her toes to kiss him. “Yes.”

They helped each other out of over- and under-robes and, more slowly, undergarments. He still had to go slowly, when he actually started touching her skin, had to steady his breath and remind himself that it had always caught like this when they’d kissed, that it was normal, and even to be expected, surely, that the softness of her skin under his fingers would make any man a little dizzy. When she tucked herself under his chin, arms wrapped around him, and just settled there with a pleased sound, he had to hang on in return and close his eyes for a moment, nearly overwhelmed by the warmth of her pressed against him.

She waited for him. Waited for him to convince himself, again, that this was real. Waited until he stopped trembling and could slide his hands gently down the curve of her bare back to smile up at him and tug him toward the bed. As they stretched out together, he murmured against her shoulder, “Thank you.”

“Oh hush.” The words were impatient, but her voice was gentle and her hands were slow as they slid up his chest. “We have time.”

“Even so.” He kissed her softly, and laughed at the faintly exasperated sound she made into his mouth.

His awareness of his own body still came and went sometimes, but tonight, when she hooked a leg around his hip and rocked against him, slow, heavy heat curled at the base of his spine, and it felt… sure. Immovable. As steady as the knowledge of where his own center was, when he took a step in their training forms. And so, tonight, he slid his fingers into her hair and kissed her deeper, open and openly wanting, moving with her, sliding against her until she shivered, arching against him, and murmured, “Shu-ge…”

“Oh yes.” He almost didn’t recognize his own voice, rough and husky with the urgent heat running in his veins. She was wet against him, now, and the sound she made when he pressed into her was nearly a growl. The heat of her filled his mind, his lungs, and all he could do was catch her closer, drive into her, let the tide of sensation take him and trust that the ferocious intensity of it would be pleasure. Nihuang ground up against him, strong arms winding tight around him, and the burst of brilliant heat as her body tightened knocked the breath out of him in a wordless groan, drowned everything else in the wild surge of his body’s response.

Other sensations settled back into place slowly. His mouth was dry from panting. Nihuang was pressed tight against him, shuddering as her body settled from her own pleasure. Her hands were stroking up and down his back, the slight scrape of callouses reminding him again that this was real.

“There,” she finally said, voice just as rough as his, “see, we’re getting better at that.”

And, at that, he couldn’t do anything but laugh, helplessly, and kiss her again.

Three

While Jingyan had been entirely correct about how easily he could become accustomed to having xiao-Shu always near, again, apparently this was not the case for his officials and ministers. Nearly a month after his arrival (or re-arrival) in the capital, whispers still followed Lin Shu through the halls of the Palace like an over-robe trailing off his shoulders. Xiao-Shu only smiled at them, though, small and amused, so Jingyan paid it as little mind as he could.

The distraction of half the officials reporting to him, he was less willing to ignore. He tapped a finger meaningfully against his desk, and the Minister of Personnel started a little, gaze jerking back to him from where it had been wandering off to the side. Admittedly, the tangle of tables and shelves which was slowly engulfing one side of Jingyan’s outer receiving room, all stacked with books, scrolls, ink, bushes, and the occasional candle tree, was worth a second glance. But He Jingzhong had seen what Jingyan couldn’t help thinking of as xiao-Shu’s command center before, and there was other work to get through, today. He raised pointed brows, and He Jingzhong cleared his throat.

“Ah. Yes. So, all the ladies the Crown Princess requested be inducted to the Palace staff have been approved.” He bowed and offered a report folio. Jingyan refrained, with what he felt was admirable self-discipline, from rolling his eyes, and flipped through it quickly. Everyone Liu An had discussed with his mother was, indeed, present.

“Very good.” He nodded a dismissal, and He Jingzhong took himself off, a little slower than was really necessary.

Jingyan gave in and rolled his eyes.

From his own desk, xiao-Shu chuckled, finally looking up from the stack of reports and letters he had been giving every appearance of being completely engrossed in. “Give them a little longer to become accustomed, before you start thinking of distant posts you can banish people to.”

“I wasn’t thinking of banishing anyone,” Jingyan said with dignity, if not with entire truthfulness. Xiao-Shu laughed out loud, at him.

“Of course you were. It’s exactly the same little lines between your brows that you always got when dealing with idiots. It’s probably the same look Nihuang is giving the Ji army generals at this very moment.”

Nihuang had declared, when offered her own work space in the Eastern Palace, that she had just escaped a princedom’s worth of paperwork, and demanded some field work to clean the paper dust out of her throat. Jingyan had sympathized too heartily with the sentiment to argue, and had asked her to inspect the armies posted to the interior. He trusted that she would bring back reliable accounts of whomever she didn’t terrorize into shape on the spot. And also that her return would make Lin Shu stop looking softly distracted and then a little disappointed immediately after. As he was, for example, at this moment. “She’ll be back in ten days,” Jingyan offered.

Xiao-Shu actually blushed, and Jingyan couldn’t help laughing. “Liu An thinks the two of you are adorable, you know.” Actually, so did he. The two of them had only recently grown out of teasing each other mercilessly, when everything went wrong, and he treasured the chance to see them acting properly lovestruck. And because that clearly meant someone else would have to do the teasing for a while, he added, “Mother thinks you’re adorable, too.”

Xiao-Shu snatched up a report folio and threw it at him, half-laughing and half-glowering. Jingyan grinned as he caught it, and ignored Zhou Wei’s faint sigh from the side of the room. He didn’t think the man actually disapproved. He did turn back to his work, though, because there was just so much of it to get through. “Do we have that review of boat-masters shipping under an Imperial charter yet?” he asked.

“Yes. You’re holding it.” Xiao-Shu smirked at him sidelong, and Jingyan snorted. All right, fine, yes he should know better than to try and get the better of his cousin.

That did not, of course, mean he would stop.

Jingyan was smiling as he bent over the endless reports.


Li Len climbed the steps to the Eastern Palace in Cai Quan and Shen Zhui’s wake. The two of them were already, or perhaps still, arguing.

“You should have gotten rid of Tian Gen as soon as you knew he was corrupt!”

“The point is that I didn’t know; I can’t just purge my ministry on suspicions.”

“Suspicion is good enough for demotion, and then he couldn’t do as much damage.”

“Cai Quan…”

In a way, Li Len could see why the Crown Prince favored the two of them together. They did provide a fairly balanced view of any topic if you let them argue long enough, but it was a little nerve-wracking to be around, and he could do without extra nerves on any visit to the Crown Prince. At least Cai Quan and Shen Zhui stopped arguing long enough for their entrance to be called.

That didn’t actually help Li Len’s nerves any, though, because Lin Shu was at the Crown Prince’s side, today, as he was so constantly since he’d returned, leaning casually on the Prince’s writing table and pointing something out over his shoulder. As someone who’d survived by strict adherence to protocol for decades, Li Len freely admitted to getting twitchy over how easily the Prince accepted Lin Shu’s unpredictable shifts between knife-sharp observance of protocol and casual disregard of the same. How was a man supposed to know how to keep his head on his damn shoulders without at least a few guidelines?

He salved his nerves with a rigidly proper bow, along with Cai Quan and Shen Zhui, and took a deep breath. Today was going to be tense enough as it was.

“Ministers,” the Crown Prince greeted them, sitting back. “I take it you have something significant to discuss, today, to have all three of you here?”

“Unfortunately so,” Shen Zhui agreed. “Your Highness will recall the misappropriation from the Qing Li southern depot. We seem to have struck an impasse, on it.”

At Shen Zhui’s nod, Li Len stepped forward. “Minister Cai’s investigator determined which of the depot officers was responsible for the theft, and he has been remanded to prison already. Unfortunately, he has not yet been persuaded to give up the names of who else he worked with.” He spread his hands, half helpless and half frustrated, and tried not to wince at the way the Prince’s always-stern expression was turning dark and hard. “I am willing to approve sterner questioning, but…”

“I doubt it would be of use,” Cai Quan finished for him, clearly and entirely frustrated. “If he’s this resistant to interrogation, to begin with, we’d have to use extreme measures, and the information that comes from that is always questionable. We do have a suspect, one Tian Gen, but I will admit that the evidence is very circumstantial.”

“I see.” The Prince’s increasingly cold gaze turned to Shen Zhui . “Someone from your ministry, then?”

Shen Zhui nodded rather wearily. “What we do know points that way. Sergeant Yang covered his appropriation of supplies by reporting a good deal of spoilage, more than would have normally gone without question or inspection of the depot’s storage itself. Investigation traced that money, and some of it was sent back to someone in the capital, but the trail ends at a pick-up point and a false name, and we have not been able to get a definitive description of the man who picked up those moneys.”

“But you assume it’s Tian Gen,” Lin Shu murmured from where he stood by the Prince’s chair, arms crossed, eyes distant, as though he were reading a scroll no one else could see.

“He’s the one who should have overseen reports from that area.” Shen Zhui gave Cai Quan, who was nearly bouncing on his toes, a patient look, and added. “And he rose very quickly under Lou Zhinjing. I will admit that many of those who did likewise have been… less than reliable. But it is not evidence.”

“He fits the description we do have,” Cai Quan grumbled.

“So do a quarter of the men in the city!” Shen Zhui pointed out, exasperated. “I can’t throw the man out of the ministry just for that!”

“I can,” the Prince stated flatly, and Li Len saw Lin Shu’s head jerk up.

“Jingyan,” Lin Shu said, sharp and warning, and Li Len tried not to actually pale with shock. He knew the man was sometimes casual with the Crown Prince, but this…!

Beside him, Shen Zhui sighed and murmured, under his breath, “Oh dear.”

The Crown Prince nearly exploded up out of his chair, rounding on Lin Shu. “If he should have had oversight, he’s guilty in any case!”

“Then let him be tried and removed for that,” Lin Shu snapped back. “You cannot set a precedent for removing officials at your whim!”

The Crown Prince gestured sharply, as if to strike that aside. “This is hardly a whim!”

“It is if you don’t wait for evidence!”

The two men glared at each other for a long moment before the Prince turned away and planted his clenched fists on the table, head lowered. Li Len wondered, a little distantly, if he could sneak out now and pretend he’d never witnessed this. He jumped a little when Shen Zhui patted him on the arm. “Calmly, Minister,” Shen Zhui said out of the corner of his mouth, nearly whispering. “They do this now and then.”

Before Li Len could ask how, in that case, Lin Shu was still alive and walking around free, Lin Shu sighed and stepped forward, anger falling away as he laid a hand on the Crown Prince’s shoulder. “Dong-jie is very good at what she does,” he said, quietly. “She’ll bring you what you need, to act on this. Trust the people we’ve chosen.”

The Crown Prince didn’t answer, but did lift a hand and lay it over Lin Shu’s. When he straightened again, his fury seemed to have washed away, or at least eased into a focused calm. “Minister Cai,” he said quietly, “when do you expect Xia Dong to return?”

As if there was nothing at all strange about the Crown Prince, and de facto emperor, having a public shouting match with his closest advisor, Cai Quan answered, “Likely another month; she’s following the matériel trail to see whether we can trace more conclusively where the goods went. She sent the girl who accompanied her back, along with her interim report, though.” He made a dubious face. “She suggested we try the girl on Tian Gen, actually.”

Lin Shu smirked, where he was still standing close at the Prince’s shoulder, and put in, “Gong Yu was one of my agents in the Capital for years. She’s very good at getting men to talk.”

“Ah.” Cai Quen bowed briefly. “With both of you vouching for her skills, sir, I’m willing to let her try.”

“Do so,” the Prince approved. “Let me know when you have more information. You will have my support for whatever needs to be done, to clear this matter.”

Li Len bowed acknowledgment, along with Cai Quen and Shen Zhui, and followed them out the door, finally releasing a relieved breath, when they were clear. And then he spun to Shen Zhui and demanded, “Exactly how often is ‘now and then’?!”

Shen Zhui and Cai Quan exchanged thoughtful looks. “Twice?” Shen Zhui suggested.

“This time makes three, that we’ve seen.” Cai Quan clapped Li Len reassuringly on the shoulder. He thought he must look as horrified as he felt. “Don’t worry so much!”

“They both obviously have the family temper,” Shen Zhui put in, more quietly. “Better they use it to keep each other in check than otherwise, yes?”

“I suppose so,” Li Len had to agree, albeit a little weakly. He shook himself and continued down the steps with them. After a few more, in which he recalled the lack of space between the two men, and the gentleness of Lin Shu’s tone, he added, “Do you think the two of them are… that way, perhaps?”

“You have to think,” Cai Quan agreed. “Considering.”

“Oh certainly,” Shen Zhui murmured. “Just as soon as one of them notices.”

Li Len and Cai Quan both stared at him, Li Len picturing Lin Shu’s easy hand on the Prince’s shoulder and the Prince’s hand covering his. “You think they haven’t?”

Shen Zhui chuckled. “Remember your son’s courting, if not your own. Not quite yet, I don’t think.”

Li Len considered how his own son had behaved, when he’d finally noticed his betrothed was a girl, and a pretty one at that, and rubbed his forehead. He could feel a headache coming on already.

“My turn to host drinks,” Cai Quan stated firmly, and Li Len let the two of them steer him toward the gates with gratitude. He felt badly in need of a little fortification.

Interlude: Clearing

Lu Jian was knee deep in slimy mud, the day Princess Mu Nihuang, Madam Lin, visited, debating with the boss of his garden crew whether the bed of the water garden needed to be dredged. By the time he’d scrambled up the ladder and over the edge, he was even muddier. The Princess only smiled, returning a courteous nod to his bow. “Your message said you wanted someone who was familiar with the manor to look at something?”

Lu Jian tried not to goggle at her, and hastily bowed again. “One of the servants would have done, Milady!”

She waved this off. “There aren’t many left, and none in the city at this time. What is it?”

“Well…” Lu Jian ran a hand through his hair, hoping against hope to neaten it after his morning climbing in and out of muddy holes. “I was hoping to speak with someone who knew how the manor was furnished. I know the family belongings probably can’t be recovered, but… well, I was hoping to at least come close.”

Her smile warmed, and Lu Jian suddenly understood why one of the premier generals of the nation also had so much poetry written about her. “That is a kind thought, and one I will be pleased to assist with.”

“Yes, Milady,” he agreed, just a little faintly, before he pulled himself together and called for the senior secretary on site.

He tried to make the tour of the premises quick, but the Princess herself kept pausing, considering the Inner Hall for a long moment before telling him that the candle trees had been four-tiered, sighing at the eastern garden’s disarray before telling him that the Royal Princess Jinyang had favored azaleas and roses there, touching the fresh timber of the main hall’s rear supports with light fingers before confirming that they had been stained a deep black. By the end of it, Lu Jian felt somewhere between guilty for making the lady relive the past to answer his questions and delighted that he now had a chance to match her memories (and thus Vice-Marshal Lin’s memories) so closely.

It was not a comfortable mix.

“Anything for me to take to the suppliers?” Shi Ping asked, once he’d seen the Princess off.

“Quite a bit, actually.” He gestured for his secretary to pass over the list. “This renovation might just restart the fashion for painted hangings.”

“Well, at least they’ll be less expensive right now,” Shi Ping pointed out, practically. “I’ll see about these. You go talk to the garden crew again. Whatever we save on hangings, I’m thinking we’ll have to spend on rock to re-line the water garden.”

Lu Jian groaned at the mere thought of the expense, but he couldn’t actually argue; a water garden with that kind of slime built up at the bottom had to be cleaned out completely, or it would just pollute the new water and kill off any new plantings. You couldn’t argue with the facts of nature—only work with them. He turned and made for the third garden.

He was probably going to need two baths by the end of the day.

Four

More and more often, lately, Lin Shu found himself remembering Prince Qi, the brother Jingyan had idolized, the Prince that Lin Shu himself had thought to serve. Once in the field, the Emperor had been a distant, abstract sort of memory. It had been Jingyan at his side, his father in command, and Prince Qi’s orders, thoughts, ideals guiding them. Now that management of the whole nation, rather than just one army, had fallen on he and Jingyan, he cast his thoughts back to those ideals whenever he could.

He also found himself wondering how Prince Qi had possibly been able to keep his relatively cheerful disposition when buried in the paperwork of government.

“Xiao-Shu.”

He believed in staying informed as much as the next man, and considering the next man was often Lin Chen this was saying something, but he would be happier if more officials and ministers spent a season or two writing via messenger pigeon to master the art of concise language.

“Xiao-Shu?”

The explanations for official expenditures ran especially long, and he was seriously considering sending sub-minister of Public Works Huang a note advising him to simply put “bribe to expedite construction” in his next report. Both honesty and efficiency would be served well, thereby, and he wouldn’t have to comb through his own height in paper just to find out which shippers were building up unusual funds and might, therefore, be trailed back to foreign sources he could use to track future goods smuggled out of the country.

“Xiao-Shu.” A firm hand fell on his shoulder and shook him out of his concentration, and he blinked up at Jingyan.

“Hm?”

Jingyan was smiling down at him, openly amused. “Nihuang only returned yesterday. If you miss dinner because you were reading reports, I hesitate to imagine what action she’ll take to rectify matters.”

“Ah.” Lin Shu straightened in his chair, glancing around at his stacks of reading, and he had to smile himself, a bit wryly. He was, perhaps, too used to working alone with a small network, still. “Yes, all right. I suppose the rest of this can wait.” As he stretched upright, all the muscles in his back registered their agreement.

There was definite approval in Jingyan’s voice when he said, “Good.” He squeezed Lin Shu’s shoulder and let him go.

Perhaps it was only that Lin Shu was already paying attention to what his body was telling him in the moment, but when Jingyan’s fingers brushed against the bare skin of his neck, drawing away, that one moment of contact poured a warm shiver straight down his spine to pool low in his stomach, hot and startling.

Or… perhaps not startling, exactly, because Lin Shu could remember many moments like this, when they were younger. They spilled through his mind, quick and visceral, those moments of heat, of awareness, that had accompanied Jingyan’s hand in his hair, on his neck, on his wrist, moments so easy to fold into his love for his cousin, his desire to always be near, the easy knowledge that Jingyan would never deny him. Now… now he had fourteen years of separation, of fiercely ignoring his body and its pain, of ignoring everything he knew he could never have again. Now it stood out.

And what did he do with it, now?

“Xiao-Shu?” Jingyan had turned back, half-way to the entrance to the inner rooms, brows lifted. Lin Shu shook himself and stood.

“Yes, of course.” He made his way to Jingyan’s side and tried not to let his breath catch at the easy nudge of Jingyan’s shoulder against his as they passed within.

What on earth was he going to do with this now?


Nihuang eyed her husband thoughtfully, as they ate, aware of Jingyan doing the same, with, perhaps, a shade more concern. Of course, Nihuang was fairly sure she knew what was behind all the moments when Shu-ge hesitated just a bit longer than usual before answering someone, when his hand stayed poised just a beat too long before actually conveying food from dish to mouth. The decisive clue, she thought, was that, in each one of those moments, Shu-ge’s eyes slid toward Jingyan and then snapped away an instant later. Even Liu An was giving him a puzzled look, now and again. Nihuang caught her eye and gave her a reassuring smile, rolling her own eyes toward both the men. Liu An looked down quickly, stifling a giggle, and relaxed again.

She and Nihuang had talked about this before Nihuang had ever left the capital.

And tonight, Nihuang thought she might just be able to get through another of the necessary discussions to untangle her husband from his own uncertainty. So as soon as they’d finished, she reached out to twine her fingers with Shu-ge’s and said, “Come and talk. I’ve missed you.”

Jingyan chuckled at that, which made her think he’d been teasing Shu-ge about her, which was an encouraging sign. Shu-ge only smiled, though, small and warm. “Yes, of course.”

So she tugged him off to her own rooms and promptly snuggled close as soon as he sat. It was entirely true that she’d missed him, after all, and missed the way he gathered her into the curve of his arm and pressed his lips to her hair. There were other matters that were overdue to be seen to, though, so as soon as she was settled to her satisfaction, tucked up against him, she asked, “Shu-ge, is something wrong? You spent all evening not looking at Jingyan.”

He huffed softly. “I suppose I should have expected you to see it.”

“So what is it?" She nudged him and added, leadingly, "You must know he’d never disapprove of anything you wanted to do.”

“It’s not like that. I just… That is, today…” She waited while he took a long breath and let it out. “Today, when Jingyan touched me, I remembered how it used to be, back then.”

“Ah.” Now they were getting somewhere. She smiled and cuddled closer. “You mean when, every time he touched you, he was smiling like the dawn sun, and, every time, you looked back at him like he was the world’s first sunrise?” His arms tightened around her sharply, and she reached up to touch his cheek and make him look at her. “And how is that in any way different from how it is now?”

After a long, wide-eyed moment, he smiled down at her. “Well. I’d forgotten how it felt.”

“So now you remember.” She stroked her thumb along his cheekbone, gently. “Shu-ge, do you remember what we used to talk of, back then? That we’d find another girl of a military family for Jingyan, and all live together in one house, and be together always?”

A soft, unsteady laugh escaped him. “And that we’d all four take the field together, and be as fierce as legends, and sweep the enemies of the nation before us?”

She smiled back, a little unsteady herself with the sweetness of those memories. “And look at us, now. All in the same house, much of the time. And if Liu An isn’t of a military family, she is the one who understands best the other ways you fight, now.” She reached up to cup both hands around his face, finishing in a whisper, “And have we not swept our enemies before us?”

He caught her close, burying his head in her shoulder, and she could feel him shaking a little in her arms. “Yes,” he answered, low and rough. “Yes, we have.”

“Then be as fierce as the legend we will become,” she told him, completely sure of this one thing. “What is there to fear, after all this?”

Finally he lifted his head, eyes a little wet though he was smiling. “You’ve grown so wise, my heart.” He still hesitated, though, and she cocked an eyebrow. “I know you were jealous of him, sometimes,” he said, low.

“Sometimes, when we were first betrothed,” she agreed, quietly. “Yes. But Shu-ge… do you know how you looked at me, back then?

He smoothed back a strand of her hair with light fingers, eyes soft. “How?”

“Back then, you stopped in your steps, now and then, and looked at me like I’d just stepped out of the sky itself to take your hand. And I looked back like you were the beating heart in my chest.” She leaned up to kiss him, softly. “And that, too, is no different, now, than it’s ever been.”

He caught her closer, tight enough to drive her breath out, this time. “No different at all,” he agreed, husky, and kissed her back, slow and tender. Against her mouth, he murmured, “So, may I be legendarily fierce tomorrow? I believe I’d like to stay here, for the the rest of tonight.”

She laughed, free and open, and twisted to pull him down to the bed with her, hands buried in his hair as they kissed again, sweet with the fierceness that was always at the heart of her brilliant boy, even when he didn’t see it. That was all right. The ones who loved him saw it for him.

And she had always known that Xiao Jingyan was a true partner, in that.


Predictably, Lin Shu found himself even more distracted the next day. It felt like the first few weeks after he’d returned to Nihuang, all over again. His eyes constantly strayed to Jingyan, to the tilt of his head as he read, to the movement of his hands over paper, to the occasional curl of his mouth. His memory, now thoroughly stirred up, insisted on recalling all the other times he’d seen Jingyan smile, so many of them at him.

Of course Jingyan noticed.

“Xiao-Shu?” he finally asked, quietly, once they’d sent the sub-minister of Rites away with a quelling promise that Marquis Yan would review his recommendations, coming to stand close. “Are you all right?”

And, of course, that was where Jingyan’s mind would immediately go; he should have anticipated it. Lin Shu reached out, in unthinking reassurance, and rested a hand on Jingyan’s chest. Just as unthinkingly, Jingyan’s had rose to cover it. “I’m well, I promise,” he soothed. “I just…” he paused as the warmth of Jingyan’s hand on his finally registered, and looked down at his own hand on Jingyan’s chest. They were standing so close, and he hadn’t even noticed, because that was how they’d always been. Always, save for a year ago, and that had been two solid years of restraining himself at every turn from stepping closer, reaching out, knowing that Jingyan would never deny him if he did. That Jingyan hadn’t denied him, once he’d known. Jingyan’s voice wound through his memory, low and sure, stating like a fact, We are as one person.

Now he felt like a bit of a fool.

“Xiao-Shu?” Jingyan asked, softly.

Lin Shu took a breath and let it go, uneven with the thread of laughter in it. “Sometimes I miss the obvious, it seems. In my defense, I never even thought to be alive, here and now, let alone returned to you.”

“You, miss something?” Jingyan asked, straight-faced and teasing. “Surely not.”

Lin Shu shoved at him, lightly, and then turned his hand to catch Jingyan’s, smiling. “Say rather I wasn’t letting myself remember. This,” he added, as Jingyan started to ask, and lifted their clasped hands to press a kiss to Jingyan’s fingers. In the quiet of the room, he could hear the quick draw of Jingyan’s breath. When he looked up again, Jingyan was standing very still, eyes wide and dark.

“Xiao-Shu.”

It was little more than a whisper, but the weight it sank into his chest like a sea anchor in a storm. “You said it, didn’t you, a year and a half ago?” he answered, low. “We are as one.” Agreement and promise and apology wrapped together in the simple words. “I won’t forget again.”

Jingyan’s stillness finally broke, and he stepped closer, free hand lifting to curve around Lin Shu’s nape. Gentle as he was, the gesture caught Lin Shu’s breath short with the heat that curled through his stomach in answer. He was remembering now, all right, but he wasn’t used to this any more.

A faint, meaningful cough from the direction of the doors reminded him that they were also standing in Jingyan’s outer receiving room in the middle of a work day, and that Zhou Wei was probably going to give them both long-suffering looks for days, over this. He leaned his forehead against Jingyan’s, trying to hold back laughter, which would only make the long-suffering last longer. Jingyan’s mouth curled in an answering smile, and he murmured, low, “Later, then.”

Well, there was his concentration gone for the day, Lin Shu reflected, ruefully.

He did make it through the rest of the day without any really egregious lapses, but by the time Zhou Wei firmly closed the Eastern Palace’s main doors his expression had turned from long-suffering to downright exasperated. Jingyan thanked him, with, perhaps, just a bit of suppressed merriment in his eyes, and calmly set his hand on Lin Shu’s back to guide him toward the inner rooms. Lin Shu swore he could hear Zhou Wei rolling his eyes behind them.

By far the majority of his attention was on the heat of Jingyan’s hand through his robes, though, not a light touch, not the pro forma gesture of everyday courtesy, and he had to concentrate a little to put one foot steadily in front of the other. By the time they reached Jingyan’s rooms, he felt as though all his skin was sensitized to that simple, steady touch. “Jingyan,” he said, softly, not entirely sure what he meant to say after that. Whatever it might have been was lost as Jingyan turned to him, smiling, and drew him close with that hand on his back.

“Do you remember this?” he asked, low and intimate, just the sound of his voice enough to stroke a finger of heat down Lin Shu’s spine. Even so, even a little breathless, he had to laugh, because Jingyan was teasing him.

“I certainly do.” Which was true. It hadn’t been at all unusual for them to end up pressed together, and sometimes, if training had devolved into rough-housing, tangled together. And he remembered the times Jingyan had pulled him close, triumphant or laughing or… just leaning together at the end of the longest days. He slid his hands up Jingyan’s arms and over his shoulders. “I wondered, a few of those times, whether I shouldn’t do something rather like this.” He leaned in and kissed Jingyan, light and questioning—the same question he’d had in his heart, those times, wondering if the beloved cousin who gave his world a center would wish this, also.

Jingyan’s hand slid up to cradle his head, mouth unhurried and sure on his, kissing him back until he was a little dizzy with the thoroughness of it, the slide of Jingyan’s tongue through his mouth, tasting him slowly. When Jingyan finally drew back, he answered Lin Shu’s half-forgotten question, softly, “I would have welcomed you then, too.”

The assurance unwound something deep in Lin Shu’s chest—the lingering wonder whether Jingyan would have merely indulged him or actually wanted him in return. He’d been used to being wanted, really, but Jingyan was the one, the only one, he’d never been able to easily move to his whim. The one who really counted. Jingyan must have felt him relax, because he shook his head, mouth quirked wryly. “Xiao-Shu. You have always been my heart and soul,” he said, quiet and easy.

Lin Shu’s breath stopped for a moment, as those words sang through him, resonating in his own heart. “Jingyan…”

“It’s true,” Jingyan told him, perfectly serene, gathering him close. Lin Shu settled against him willingly, smiling small and true. Jingyan rubbed slow fingers up and down his neck and made a satisfied sound when Lin Shu unwound a little more, leaning against him. “Will you come to bed, xiao-Shu?” he asked against Lin Shu’s ear, low and warm, sending a little shiver spilling down his spine.

“Yes,” Lin Shu answered, husky.

Jingyan stayed close as they undressed, hands sliding down Lin Shu’s arms and chest as he took each layer away, as if he wanted to re-learn Lin Shu’s body. He was far more careless of his own clothing, tugging belts loose quickly and shrugging out of all his layers together as soon as the ties were undone. That simple motion fixed Lin Shu’s eyes like nothing else could have, though. Jingyan had always been beautiful to him, and he’d grown into something magnificent, the hard muscle of one campaign after another shifting under his skin, sleek and powerful as a tiger prowling, as he stepped through the muddle of silk toward Lin Shu. He reached out for Jingyan because he could scarcely help it, and Jingyan gathered him close again with a smile. The heat of Jingyan’s bare skin against his, the line of Jingyan’s back under his palms, took up all of his awareness, at least until Jingyan’s mouth found his again for a slow kiss, this one so unmistakably possessive that it pulled a soft, wanting sound out of him.

“My own,” Jingyan said against his mouth, answering Lin Shu’s want as easily as he always had.

“Yes.” Lin Shu pressed close, arms tightening hard around him. “I wish that.” He had wished that, even when he’d carefully slipped away, determined that those he loved would not have to watch him die. And now… He gasped, breath driven out by the force of Jingyan’s arms closing around him.

“Then I will not let you go.” Jingyan’s words felt like they burned into him, fierce and hot as the kiss that followed, and he answered with all his heart, moaning out loud as Jingyan’s mouth moved down his jaw to his throat. The pull and soft sting of Jingyan sucking a mark into his skin, nearly made his knees give way. Jingyan made an agreeable sound against his skin and let them both down to the bed, leaning over him on one elbow. “You like that,” he observed, satisfaction clear in the curve of his lips as he ran a slow finger over the tender skin he’d marked. A hot shudder ran through Lin Shu, in response, and he reached up to pull Jingyan down against him, to another kiss.

“I do,” he finally answered, when that burst of heat had eased a little, settled by Jingyan’s weight over him. He was so hard he was dizzy with it, in fact.

Jingyan smiled, slowly, eyes bright. “Well, then.” He leaned down, nuzzling under Lin Shu’s jaw until he tipped his head back, and kissed slowly down the line of his throat, biting gently here and there until Lin Shu was pushing up against him, breathless little sounds catching in his throat as need and pleasure danced down his nerves.

“Jingyan…” He nearly whimpered as the wet heat of Jingyan’s mouth continued down his chest and stomach, and he should really have remembered how much trouble they’d almost always gotten into when Jingyan got that look in his eyes. When Jingyan settled between his legs, broad shoulders pushing them apart, arms curled around his thighs, he moaned out loud. “Jingyan.”

“Xiao-Shu.” Jingyan looked up at him, and this smile was quiet and sure. “It’s all right.” The assurance in that deep voice settled over him like summer sunlight, warmth and comfort and security sinking into his bones. Jingyan made a pleased sound as he relaxed, and pressed a soft kiss to his inner thigh, and another, and then slowly sucked a mark there.

Relaxed as he was, the answering rush of heat went through him like the breaking of a storm-front. “Jingyan!” Jingyan only purred, marking his inner thighs again and again, holding him gently in place as Lin Shu tried to spread his legs wider, to press into his hold. He kept going until Lin Shu was twisting breathlessly against the bed, hands closed tight in the soft blankets under them, half wild with the hypersensitivity of his skin under Jingyan’s mouth and the knowledge that Jingyan wanted to lay such a thorough claim on him.

When Jingyan’s mouth finally closed over the length of him, hot and wet, he was so overwhelmed by sensation that all he could do was groan, wordless, and all it took was Jingyan’s mouth sliding down him, slow and sure, to undo him completely. Pleasure shook him senseless for endless moments, left him wrung out and panting, muscles trembling under the warm stroke of Jingyan’s hands.

“Mmm,” he finally managed, reaching for Jingyan, and sighed with satisfaction as Jingyan’s weight settled against him again. Jingyan smiled down at him, fingers sliding gently up into his hair.

“Looks like I guessed right.”

“Very right,” Lin Shu agreed, softly.

“Good.” Jingyan slowly tugged loose the pin of his hairpiece and unraveled the snug twists of Lin Shu’s hair until he could run his fingers all the way to the ends. “Do you remember this, too?”

“Mmmm.” Feeling nearly liquid under the slow, easy strokes, Lin Shu wound his arms more snugly around Jingyan. “Of course. You always liked to take my hair down.” He could feel the vibration of Jingyan’s silent chuckle, this close.

“Well, you put it all the way up so young. I didn’t think you needed to, to be taken seriously.” He pressed a kiss to Lin Shu’s forehead, and murmured, “And I liked being the only one who got to see it down, when we were in the field.”

Lin Shu smiled up at him, sliding his hands up the broad line of Jingyan’s back. “And is that all you wish of me, right now?” Lying this close together, it was fairly clear that it wasn’t.

“Do you want more?” Jingyan countered, hand sliding gently down his neck, thumb stroking over tender, marked skin. “Or is this enough, for now?”

The curl of heat that answered that caress actually startled him, and he pulled in a quick breath. “Oh…” Jingyan’s eyes on him darkened, hot and focused, but he still waited until Lin Shu reached up to cup his cheek and answered, “My desire for you has never had an end. I just never thought I’d be able to feel it like this again.”

Jingyan caught him close, at that, and his mouth on Lin Shu’s was fierce and hungry, this time. “Then you need do nothing but feel.” Those words, wrapped in Jingyan’s deep voice, stroked down his nerves like a fine brush, dark and soft, and left him flushed and breathless against the bed as Jingyan slid away to reach for the small cabinet beside it. When Jingyan gathered him up again, one hand sliding under him, slow and slick, he pressed close, accepting Jingyan’s word and letting that touch fill his mind and senses, clinging to it just as fiercely, now, as he’d pushed sensation away for years. It was easier when Jingyan’s fingers pressed into him, intimate enough to leave him gasping for breath against Jingyan’s shoulder, and completely new. Jingyan went slowly, working his muscles open with gentle, relentless fingers until he was thoroughly unwound, hands flexing against Jingyan’s back with each slow push in.

When Jingyan set his teeth on Lin Shu’s throat and bit down softly at the same time, the sensation took fire all in a rush and it shook an open moan out of him. “Jingyan.”

Jingyan kissed him, deep and sure. “Yes.”

The feeling of Jingyan’s hands sliding down the marked skin of his thighs, to catch his knees and press them back and open, put a hot shudder through him and he was already breathless when Jingyan pushed slowly into him. The hard stretch and slide of it stole the rest of his breath and most of his thoughts, leaving only want and the anchor of Jingyan leaning over him, dark eyes intent on him.

“Just feel,” Jingyan told him, low and husky, rocking into him slowly, over and over. “Xiao-Shu. I have you. Just feel.”

“Jingyan…” It was almost a plea, and Jingyan leaned down to kiss it off his lips, gentle.

“Just feel,” he repeated, deep voice soft and coaxing, and reached down, wrapping still-slick fingers firmly around Lin Shu’s length.

Lin Shu didn’t think he could help it, as pleasure spiraled through him in a dizzy climb that jumped with every stroke, every slow thrust. And it was Jingyan with him, in him, holding him, so he didn’t try—just let the rush of pleasure take him, groaning out loud when it finally burst through him in a wash of fire down every nerve. Jingyan’s deep moan answered him, and he looked up, dazed, to see Jingyan arched over him, flushed and gorgeous, lips parted. Every short, hard thrust into him sent another shock of pleasure up his spine, and he clung to the sweetness of feeling so much, so close.

When Jingyan drew back a little, easing his legs back down to the bed, Lin Shu shivered and reached out, not wanting to be parted even that little bit. Jingyan smiled and settled over him, holding him tight even as Lin Shu wrapped around him. His fingers slid through Lin Shu’s loose hair, slow and easy, familiar and soothing after that wild surge of sensation.

“My own,” Jingyan murmured against his ear, and the reminder relaxed him further, that he didn’t have to lose this.

“Yes.” He touched Jingyan’s cheek to turn his head, and caught his mouth for a slow, open kiss. “As I always have been.”

Jingyan positively purred at that, mouth curling in a satisfied smile. “Then I will keep you. My treasure.”

Lin Shu felt his face heat at that, and bent his head, laughing. “Jingyan!”

“It’s true,” Jingyan said, calm and immovable, and Lin Shu gave in with a sigh, settling against him. He couldn’t deny that the part of him that had always turned to Jingyan, always sought him as Lin Shu’s personal pole star, was warmed and settled by every tender word.

“My heart,” he admitted, softly, winding closer around Jingyan. He could feel Jingyan’s lips curve against his temple, and smiled helplessly against his shoulder in return.

Now, now he truly felt he was all the way home.


When he’d been selected as the head of Prince Jing’s attendants, on Xiao Jingyan’s creation as Crown Prince, Zhou Wei had been pleased. Possibly even a little excited. Whatever his reputation for bullheadedness, Prince Jing was clearly the rising star of the Palace, and Zhou Wei would be the one responsible for looking after his affairs. It was even possible, given the Prince’s equal reputation for rectitude and loyalty, that this would put Zhou Wei on track to become Chief of the palace officials, when Gao Zhang stepped down. Gao-gong had even spoken with him personally, about the appointment, and had a few quiet words of advice, which Zhou Wei had taken firmly to heart.

He had sought out Lei Zhanying, the Prince’s left hand, and asked him how the Prince preferred to be served. Thanks to that discussion, Zhou Wei kept himself close to the Prince, whenever he was in the Eastern Palace, but unobtrusive. He firmly discouraged the other palace officials from attempting to fawn, the way the last Crown Prince had liked, and hustled ministers and officers in and out of the Prince’s presence as expeditiously as possible.

Thanks to Gao-gong’s advice, he’d also sought out the Noble Consort Jing and made himself known to her. The Lady had smiled, faint but warm, and invited him back a month later, to what had turned out to be a strategy meeting with the young Lady Liu. That had been invaluable, and only the suspicion that Lady Jing would dislike fawning as much as her son had kept him from truly effusive thanks. Wei and the Crown Princess now sent each other at least weekly notes about the Crown Prince’s health, temper, and schedule.

The last piece of advice Gao-gong had given him was to never, ever speak ill of Prince Qi or Chiyan or Lin or, most especially, Lin Shu. To think of Lin Shu, in particular, as his Prince’s dearest brother.

That advice had served Zhou Wei very well, indeed, in the months following the Crown Prince’s ascension, and had made him careful of his Prince’s grief during the year that followed.

It had not, however, quite prepared him for Lin Shu’s return.

Suddenly, the man was everywhere, never apart from the Prince except when he was boring through some unfortunate Ministry’s records like an arrow through straw. A few of the younger officials actually hid when they saw him coming, now, and the keepers of the Royal Library looked pained, because no one could stop him. Lin Shu might as well be an extension of the Crown Prince. If the Prince was in the Eastern Palace, so was Lin Shu, and if Lin Shu was in the Prince’s city manor, so was the Prince.

And they were really not discreet in the slightest.

Zhou Wei caught a rustle of robes from the room behind him and resisted the urge to rub his forehead. He knew without looking, without even looking at the half-delighted, half-scandalized expressions of the door attendants as they peeked past him, that Lin Shu was stealing another kiss from the Prince. They’d been doing it all morning, and sooner or later someone besides their own attendants was going to notice. Zhou Wei made a mental note to speak personally with the Crown Princess about how to manage the rumors. A note was not going to be sufficient this week.

A messenger started across the plaza to the Eastern Palace steps, and Zhou Wei sighed, stepping back into the outer receiving room. Sure enough, Lin Shu was leaning over one arm of the Prince’s chair and the Prince’s hand was curled around his nape, fingers sliding under the collar of his robes.

“…been able to feel the marks of your mouth on my thighs with every step I take, all day,” Lin Shu was murmuring, as Zhou Wei got back into earshot. Zhou Wei attempted to quash that mental image, violently, and made sure to kick a bench in passing. The Prince, at least, had the grace to flush a little when the two of them looked up at the little clatter and saw him approaching. Lin Shu just smiled, straightening up slowly and folding his hands.

“A ministry messenger for you, Highness, Sir,” Zhou Wei said, trying not to sound harassed. From the upward crimp at the corners of Lin Shu’s mouth, he didn’t entirely succeed.

“Let him in,” the Prince ordered, reaching for one of the report folios on his desk, as if he’d been paying any attention to them at all, today. Zhou Wei sighed and waved at the door attendants.

He’d entered Palace service, among other reasons, because he didn’t want to deal with a family and children. Why did he suddenly feel like he was getting all the annoyances of parenthood anyway?

The messenger bowed quickly. “Message from Minister Cai, Highness, Sir. He says the lady is in place.”


Gong Yu stepped lightly through the halls of Jinglin’s second best brothel, a demure smile settled over her like a fine headdress, drawing eyes and clearing her way at the same time.

She’d forgotten how much she enjoyed this work.

The actual arts of the body she found merely tiresome. Give her a sword drill any day. But this—the careful tension between a welcoming smile and averted eyes that kept all the clients at just the right distance for her to stalk her prey—this was almost like the strings of a zither under her fingers.

Today, she’d painted her cheeks darker, to make them look thinner, sharpened the line of her jaw, dressed her hair up high to lengthen the lines of her head and neck. No one had recognized her as Miao Yin’s finest musician, least of all the rather discontented looking man watching the dancers in the public room. Gong Yu exchanged a nod across the room, with the house’s Madam, and folded herself down beside him in a sigh of fine silk, leaning in just enough to suggest intimacy without touching him. “Does our company not please you this evening, good sir?”

He harrumphed and tossed back his cup of wine. “Apparently,” he said with heavy sarcasm, “all the private rooms are taken. What kind of House is this, to keep clients sitting out so long?”

She poured him another cup and lifted it in her fingertips to offer with a smile. “How unfortunate, good sir. Perhaps you will deign to allow me to entertain you while you wait, then?”

He finally looked at her properly, and the tight line of his shoulders relaxed a bit. “Hm. Well, now, that’s a little more like it.” She smiled back, sweet and winsome, and leaned a little closer, playing the developing tension in the air between them, delicately.

And all the while she cooed and snuggled at this fool, she held close in her heart the memory of Dong jie-jie’s teeth flashing as she bared them in a fierce grin the day Gong Yu had gotten past her guard during morning training, the hardness of her eyes when they’d finally pinned down when Qing Li’s southern depot had started losing goods—just a year after the man beside her had gained his current office in the Ministry of Revenue. Even more than that, the sober confidence in her voice when she’d told Gong Yu to return to the capital without her and close this half of the net. She made her smile bright with that memory and poured more wine.

Tian Gen was getting to what Gong Yu privately thought of as the usefully drunk stage—expansive but not so loud or sloppy that the House’s attendants would start trying to nudge him outside. “I have plenty of money for the best room here!” he declared, waving his empty cup in a broad gesture.

Gong Yu promptly filled it again, making her eyes wide and impressed as she hung delicately on his shoulder. “Truly?” Dong jie-jie would have laughed long and hard at the breathless note in Gong Yu’s voice, she reflected.

“Ha! I have more money than even a Second Rank Minister, these days! And no one knows how!”

Gong Yu molded her body a little closer against his side. “But… how can no one know, good sir?”

Tian Gen smirked and leaned toward her, clearly woozy though he kept his voice down, and Gong Yu leaned in with a conspiratorial giggle. “I was smart, see. I never touched the money myself. I sent my man to get it for me.”

Gong Yu covered her mouth with her fingertips. “Oh!” Really, it was a good thing Tian Gen was this drunk; surely no one sober could have kept from laughing at her performance. She leaned on his shoulder, lips just brushing his ear, and breathed, “Are you sure he won’t tell anyone? If it’s that much money…”

Tian Gen laughed out loud, wrapping an arm around her, and Gong Yu deliberately called to mind the feel of Dong jie-jie’s hands closed around her face and the gentle kiss she’d given Gong Yu in parting, letting that memory flush her cheeks and make her eyes soft. Tian Gen grinned down at her. “A-Deng has been with me for fifteen years. I’ve no worries about him!”

Gong Yu smiled up at him, and if that smile’s brilliance was due to the fact that she had a name to bring back for Dong jie-jie and her lord, well, Tian Gen didn’t need to know.

She hoped Dong jie-jie’s hunt was going as well.


Xia Dong crawled out of a drainage ditch in the Northern Yan capital, spat out muddy water, and wondered yet again if she should have kept Gong Yu with her after all. Trying to infiltrate another country’s capital and steal the financial records of one of their royal factions was not a solo job. Though she had to admit, the contact Gong Yu had sent word of her to wasn’t doing too badly.

Her current associate, Wen Ru, landed in the slick grass beside her, breathing hard. “I think we’re clear.”

“Good. Do you know where I can get a fast horse?”

His grin winked in the darkness. “Who do you think you’re talking to, again? One of the stable-boys at Prince Kang’s manor is Jiangzuo.”

Kang being the prince who had lost the succession race to Northern Yan’s present Crown Prince, which would nicely derail any suspicions that it had been a Liang agent who’d raided the secret records of Duke Ma, the Crown Prince’s strongest supporter. She hauled herself upright and made a dash for the nearest alley, Wen on her heels. “I like the way you think.”

“It was the Chief who set it all up.” He grabbed her arm to hold her back while a city patrol passed. “How is he doing, by the way?”

Xia Dong paused in the shadow of a wagon and gave him a sidelong look. “With Jiangzuo’s information network, I’d have thought you knew better than I.”

“I know he lived, and that he’s making himself busy in the Capital.” Wen Ru jerked his chin up and leaped for the top of the wall beside them. She followed, landing light-footed and careful on these unfamiliar tiles. “What I don’t know is if he’s happy.”

She shot him a searching look at that, but even in the moonlight up here she still didn’t recognize him. “Were you one of his men?” she asked as he led the way over one ridgepole after another.

A faint snort answered her. “I suppose that was obvious, yes.” They both froze, flat to the roof tiles as a clutch of servants passed by below. Xia Dong was very glad of a guide who knew his way, by the time they got to the edge of the manor, and its stables; alone this would probably have taken her past dawn, and then things could have gotten… exciting. Instead, a few low words from Wen Ru got them both into Kang’s livery and onto some of his horses in short order.

Once they were into the streets again, she said, quietly, “I think he is happy, yes. There’s a great deal of foolishness to deal with, in the Court, but he’s with the people he loves. That makes a very great difference.” As she had cause to know.

His answer was a sigh in the darkness. “Good.” For a long moment, she thought that would be all, but eventually he added, “He made a home for we who had lost ours; that’s what Jiangzuo is, for we few who survived. But it never was for him. Madam Nie,” she had to stifle a start at being recognized when she swore she hadn’t known him, and he gave her a wry smile as they turned onto a torch-lit boulevard, “for the sake of what you regained, too, look after our Vice-Marshal?”

She swallowed back the memory of those cold years without Feng-ge, along with a lump in her throat, and nodded. “I will. As will others, as well.”

He nodded back solemn acceptance of her word, and lifted his reins. “Then let’s get you and your information out of here.”

Xiao Jingyan and all his people were fortunate that xiao-Shu had returned, bringing back much of his old fire as well as his new and formidable network of alliances and loyalty. As they trotted briskly toward the city gates, though, stolen armor rattling, Xia Dong’s hard-trained suspicious side had to wonder just who was going to end up ruling Da Liang, when xiao-Shu’s reach was already so much greater than Xiao Jingyan’s.

Interlude: Supports

Lu Jian wished that, just once, they could all get through a job without anyone trying to argue Shi Ping (and by extension him) into cutting corners.

"But if we don’t trim the ends short, we won’t be able to get the beam into place without cutting into the roof again!"

Just once.

"Not the roof," Shi Ping stated. "We’ll cut the wall to bring it in upright."

Xu Hai, Lu Jian’s soon-to-be-ex head carpenter ignored the flatness in the foreman’s voice and positively wheedled, "It will be just as stable once it’s in place…"

"We are not going to shim the foot of a load-bearing beam," Lu Jian snapped, ducking into the ‘office’ they’d set up in the south-western hall. "Have some pride in our work, man!"

Xu Hai jumped a bit at his arrival, but only sulked at his words. "How can we be sure we’re even going to get paid for doing that kind of work, this time?" he muttered.

Shi Ping only looked a little weary at this; Lu Jian, less reserved by nature, groaned out loud. "Is the entire crew doing nothing but listening to court gossip and rumors?" he implored the heavens. "Look, if the Crown Prince doesn’t know his own childhood friend, surely the Princess must know her own betrothed! Isn’t she the one who refused to marry anyone else for years? You can’t seriously think the Vice-Marshal is really some kind of impostor."

Too late, he caught Shi Ping’s urgent throat-cutting gesture and saw the gleam of an avid rumor-monger in Xu Hai’s eye, as the man leaned forward eagerly. "But what if he really is Su Zhe? He was supposed to be such a brilliant courtier and scholar, and then he just vanished into thin air, and now there’s another brilliant courtier showing up. What if it’s him?"

"If it is, then he’s obviously got the Crown Prince’s favor, and we’ll still get paid," Lu Jian said, with as quelling a glare as he could generate. "And that means we are doing to do this job right, so stop gossiping and get back up to the main hall. I want calculations by the end of the day, on where to cut the back wall, to bring in a new support beam without having to do any stopgap shimming once it’s in!"

Xu Hai deflated and allowed Shi Ping to herd him out at last, while Lu Jian scrubbed both hands over his face. "Why can’t anyone just do the job?" he muttered.

Shi Ping, ducking back through the door, clapped him lightly on the shoulder. "At least our client is probably doing his job, if there are this many rumors flying around," he offered.

As he’d probably intended, Lu Jian laughed. "We’d best do ours, too, then. Once that support is replaced, we’ll be ready to re-roof the main hall. Is the last load of shingles in?"

Properly tallied figures and solid workmanship, that was the thing that would always win out, in the end.

Five

Gao Zhan had many years of experience with Palace politics, and knew well the importance of having either an impenetrable smile or an equally impenetrable blank stare at all times. It was solely due to this long experience and habit that he was able to refrain from rolling his eyes at Pan Bai, the under-minister from the Palace Affairs Bureau, who was slowly edging his way toward a point that Gao Zhan, for one, had seen coming two ke ago.

“…so the Crown Princess’ new additions to the palace ladies are very well thought-out, really, she is clearly a wise and accomplished lady.”

“Of course she is,” the Emperor said, impatient, tossing the redundant report the man had brought onto the edge of his table.

“Surely, then, she should not be slighted or set aside…?” Pan Bai suggested, raising his brows in what he clearly thought was a meaningful, way.

The Emperor frowned at Pan Bai. “Obviously not; there’s been no thought of such a thing.” He sounded rather offended on Lady Liu’s account, which clearly heartened Pan Bai. Gao Zhan stifled a sigh.

“Even though the Crown Prince and Vice-Marshal Lin Shu are…” the man trailed off and coughed delicately. “Well, it does seem to have become clear that the Vice-Marshal is a man the Crown Prince would cut his sleeve for…”

The Emperor snorted, sitting back in the throne with an audible huff. “If the idiot boy would take a cup of poison for him, I fail to see how that should surprise anyone.”

Pan Bai’s eyes bugged out, and Gao Zhan had to bite back a snicker. He returned the man’s stare blandly, not offering the tiniest clue what the Emperor might be speaking of. He’d had a good deal of practice doing so, in the past year, as Lady Jing’s drugs did loosen the Emperor’s tongue just a bit.

“I… that is… Then, ah…”

“Is that all you had to report?” the Emperor demanded, cutting off Pan Bai’s stammering.

“Yes, Majesty,” he answered, sounding a bit dazed, and bowed himself out at the Emperor’s brusque wave.

The Emperor settled back with a disgruntled look. “Do they think I have time for idiots wasting air, just because Jingyan is dealing with the day-to-day work?”

“Perhaps it will entertain Your Majesty to watch how Lin Shu deals with them, then,” Gao Zhan suggested, just a bit slyly, he would admit. He’d observed that, much as the Emperor complained about Lin Shu, he also seemed obscurely proud of the young man’s political ability. And, indeed, his suggestion drew a smirk from the Emperor.

Gao Zhan smiled with satisfaction, and made a note to see about sending young Zhou Wei some extra help at the Eastern Palace, to compensate for the increased headache his charges were about to become.


Dinner had become a more cheerful affair, over the past months, which Jingyan had to admit he enjoyed. This particular evening, though, his young wife appeared to be stifling actual giggles, which was a little unusual. “Liu An?” he inquired courteously, and quietly, leaning a little toward her. He was a bit disconcerted when that made her turn very pink. Xiao-Shu, on the other hand, seemed to understand, and gave her a conspiratorial smile across the dishes and trays.

“How are our rumors progressing?”

Liu An burst into helpless giggles behind her sleeve. Xiao-Shu seemed to think this was a good sign, or at least he sat back with a satisfied expression. When Liu An caught her breath again, she glanced up at Jingyan, eyes dancing, and said, “Lady Hui thinks the two of you are romantic.”

Xiao-Shu definitely smirked. “Romantic, hm?”

“Returning to your love from beyond the grave,” Liu An recited. “Realizing your heart is too full to refuse your second love. Finally requiting the Crown Prince’s silent yearning. Oh, and the Princess Nihuang is very noble and generous; that’s a new one to encourage.”

Nihuang and xiao-Shu both burst out laughing.

Jingyan was still halted over the mental image of the royal Consorts gossiping over his bed affairs. “Xiao-Shu,” he started, because he had no doubts whatsoever who the planner behind this was.

“Jingyan, there are going to be rumors,” xiao-Shu told him, pulling himself back to some semblance of dignity. “We need to steer them as much as possible, and that means indulging the Palace’s taste for drama. Besides,” he smiled, gentler this time, “Lady An is very good at it.”

Liu An blushed pink again at the compliment, and peeked up at Jingyan, hesitant and hopeful. Jingyan gave in with a sigh, and rested a hand over hers. “Very well, then.” He almost felt guilty, seeing how she relaxed and brightened, at his approval. They were still learning their way around each other; he supposed he should be grateful that xiao-Shu and Nihuang had so clearly accepted Liu An into the family circle.

If only they hadn’t also infected her with their terrible senses of humor.

“Speaking of rumor,” Nihuang put in, picking up a piece of melon and nudging the plate toward xiao-Shu, “one of the officials from Personnel tried to sympathize with me, today.”

“Ah.” That was all xiao-Shu said, but there was such a weight of understanding and satisfaction in it that Jingyan raised his brows. Xiao-Shu smiled, sharp as the edge of a knife, and selected a melon slice for himself. “I was wondering whether the Chancellor would use Personnel or Rites, for this.”

All three of them were looking questions at him, now. “None of Chancellor Yu’s assistants have been involved in any of the rumors, so far,” Liu An said, slowly.

Xiao-Shu’s smile widened. “Exactly.”

Liu An nodded, eyes turning distant and calculating for a moment. “I’ll speak with Zhou Wei about watching that, then.”

“What could the Chancellor possibly have against you?” Jingyan demanded, annoyed. “Aren’t you only making his job easier?”

Now the other three were all looking at him with varying degrees of amusement. “Even I know that no minister is going to be happy about someone else touching his work,” Nihuang pointed out. "Even to help."

Jingyan knew it was true, but that didn’t make him any happier about it.

“It’s more than that, actually.” Xiao-Shu leaned against his back-rest. “The Chancellor, and the entire Department of State Affairs really, has had to deal with the Emperor’s secretiveness, and his preference for using off-record methods like Xuanjing’s agents to solve a lot of internal issues. Now, just when they thought they were done with that, here I am, bringing an unknown network of unknown strength with me. From the outside, would I not look very much like your private action or enforcement agent?”

“Then the rumor that you are the Crown Prince’s lover…” Liu An said, slowly, frowning.

Xiao-Shu nodded. “Makes some of them fear that either I will be unassailable, if they let me become entrenched, or even that I will seek to become the true ruler by manipulating Jingyan from behind the throne.” He opened a hand, palm up. “Chancellor Yu is a good enough man, who has done his best to stay out of factional strife after being promoted to this position, but all men have their limit. He’s reaching his. So he will use Personnel and Palace Affairs to put pressure on me, to set me off balance, and then attempt to cut the ground out from under me, when he sees a chance.”

“Can you prevent him, then?” Liu An asked softly, still looking a bit worried. “Without impairing his function as the Chancellor, I mean?”

Xiao-Shu gave her an approving smile. “I believe so, yes. He’ll be far less trouble than the ones who are merely trying to safeguard their own personal power, of which we still have an unfortunate number.”

“And I suppose there’s still no hope of getting me eighteen more like Cai Quan, to put under the Inspector of Discipline,” Jingyan grumbled. That would fix a lot of problems, he was still convinced.

“We can work on it,” xiao-Shu told him, smiling.

Nihuang nudged him with an elbow. “You couldn’t have just gotten him some peaches? You had to get him a government, instead?”

Xiao-Shu colored a little, at that, but shot back, “Governments last longer, at least if you’re doing it right.” He paused, then, and looked down at her, suddenly serious, lifting a hand to brush her cheek with light fingers. “Nihuang…”

She leaned just a little into the touch, smiling up at him, so softly that Jingyan picked up his cup to have an excuse to look away and give them a little privacy. “Don’t be silly, Shu-ge. Didn’t I tell you, already? You still look at me that way; that’s all that matters.” The softness of her voice suddenly turned bright and wicked. “Besides, I already share the care of you with my younger sister. Why should I object to sharing with a brother, too?”

Jingyan nearly choked on a swallow of water, Liu An squeaked, eyes wide, and xiao-Shu caught Nihuang close, laughing out loud against her hair. “If I need a charge to break the ministries’ ranks, I’ll definitely call on you,” he promised, eyes bright.

She leaned up to kiss him, with a satisfied smile. “Good. Do so.” She pushed to her feet. “Now, you haven’t spent the night with Jingyan all week. I am going to make sure Gong Yu doesn’t actually sleep out in the mews, waiting for word from Dong-jie.”

Liu An promptly stood, as well, eyes dancing as she bowed to Jingyan. “I will bid you a good night, then, my lord.”

Jingyan gave her a faintly exasperated look, but had to allow, in justice, that she was only following the example of her elders. Unfortunately. “Yes, yes. Good night, then.” He drew her close and dropped a light kiss on her hair, and she smiled up at him, sweet and happy, before following Nihuang out.

Xiao-Shu was still laughing. Very quietly so, but Jingyan could tell, and eyed him thoughtfully, stepping around the trays to close the distance between them. “So. It appears that I’m the one who’s joining your household, then?”

Xiao-Shu rose to meet him, almost straight-faced as long as you couldn’t see how bright his eyes still were. “It is the business and expertise of the ladies to arrange these things; I try to always trust in my experts.”

Jingyan reached out to catch his hips and pull him closer, smiling at the slide of xiao-Shu’s hands up his arms, slow and firm, as if xiao-Shu wanted to memorize how he felt. “Do you trust my expertise, then?” He bent his head and nipped gently at xiao-Shu’s neck, making a pleased sound when xiao-Shu’s hands tightened sharply on his shoulders.

“Entirely,” xiao-Shu answered, a little husky with the way he tipped his head back as Jingyan kissed down his throat.

“Good,” Jingyan murmured against his skin, and sucked a mark into it, just under the line of his collar. Xiao-Shu’s body arched taut against his, like a bow drawn by his hands, and the sweetness of feeling xiao-Shu answer him so freely made Jingyan smile and stroke his tongue over the mark he’d left.

“Jingyan.” Xiao-Shu pushed him back a little, flushed and dark-eyed. “Bed.”

Jingyan grinned at him, pleased, and agreed. “Bed.”

There were times, he had to admit, when he showed his own share of his family’s sense of humor.

Xiao-Shu had recovered his composure by the time they were both undressed, and came to press close against him, catching Jingyan’s mouth for kiss after heated kiss, murmuring between them, “You make me want, so.”

“What is it that you want?” Jingyan asked against his mouth, hands sliding down the lines of xiao-Shu’s body, still lean but no longer so desperately thin.

Xiao-Shu’s slow, wicked smile warned him to brace himself as xiao-Shu leaned in and spoke against his ear. “I want you to fuck me.” Hearing xiao-Shu’s smooth voice wrapped around the kind of barracks language they’d both learned from soldiers in the field sent a shock of heat through Jingyan, and he caught xiao-Shu closer as xiao-Shu leaned against him, laughing.

“If that’s what you wish,” he agreed, a bit breathless, and drew xiao-Shu onto the bed, pressing him gently to his knees.

Xiao-Shu smiled that slow, heated smile again and bent over, stretching his arms along the bed for a moment before folding them loosely and resting his head on them. “It is what I wish.”

Jingyan knelt behind him, sliding his hands down the arch of xiao-Shu’s back, slow and easy. “Then feel,” he urged quietly, the way he’d learned he had to coax xiao-Shu along to do just that. After a moment’s thought how best to effect it, he smiled, perhaps a little wickedly himself, and settled his hands on xiao-Shu’s lifted rear, spreading him gently open. The faint catch of xiao-Shu’s breath turned fast and shocked when Jingyan leaned down and stroked his tongue slowly over xiao-Shu’s entrance.

“Jingyan!”

“Shh,” he said softly, hands tightening a little as xiao-Shu shivered. “Just feel.” He lapped, soft and slow, at xiao-Shu’s entrance, and made a satisfied sound as xiao-Shu slowly unwound, under him, with a low moan. He listened to xiao-Shu’s breathing as it turned deeper, faster, waiting for the muscles under his hands to relax. It wasn’t until they finally did, accompanied by a soft sigh, that he slid a thumb down, working the pad of it against xiao-Shu’s entrance in slow, firm circles, urging those muscles further open.

Jingyan…” Xiao-Shu’s arms were unfolded, now, thrown out along the bed as his hands flexed slowly in the covers, and Jingyan could see that his eyes were closed, his lips parted. “Jingyan, please…”

That went through him like a stroke of fire; xiao-Shu still asked for so few things. Jingyan’s voice was rough and low as he answered, “Yes, my own.” He leaned over the side of the bed to rummage out the sealed jar of seaweed gel (one of the few medicinals he did not get from his mother). The slickness of his fingers sliding down his own length made him shudder, hot anticipation pooling low in his stomach. The tightness and heat of xiao-Shu’s body around him as he pushed in made him moan, low and open. And the wordless, entreating sound xiao-Shu made drove his hips forward, sinking all the way in, leaving them both gasping for a moment.

“Xiao-Shu,” Jingyan breathed, when he had his voice back, leaning down to wrap his arms around xiao-Shu, curling his body over his lover’s until he could gather xiao-Shu in against his chest and nuzzle the curve of his neck. All the gathering tension in xiao-Shu’s body loosened again, and he moaned softly as he unwound to lie quiet and breathless in Jingyan’s arms; the trust implicit in that relaxation caught in Jingyan’s chest. “Thank you, my heart,” he whispered against xiao-Shu’s shoulder.

Xiao-Shu laughed, soft and breathless. “Why thank me for the things you do to me?”

Jingyan smiled against his shoulder. “Because you let me.” Before xiao-Shu could argue with that, which he knew was a distinct possibility, he slid a hand down xiao-Shu’s stomach to wrap around him and stroke, slow and firm. Feeling xiao-Shu lose his breath on a soft moan, feeling the way his body tightened, braided pleasure down Jingyan’s nerves, and he rocked into xiao-Shu, sure and hard.

The sounds xiao-Shu made were breathless and openly wanting, and Jingyan couldn’t help but catch him closer, drive into him harder, drawn on by how rarely abandoned xiao-Shu was, tonight. The flex of xiao-Shu’s body under his was so open, so wanton, it took his breath, and when xiao-Shu tightened around him with a low moan, Jingyan let pleasure sweep him down, as well, shuddering as heat burst through him.

Eventually, they both lay quiet, catching their breaths together. When he had the sense to, again, Jingyan eased back and stretched out on his side, and promptly gathered xiao-Shu back against his chest, pressing a soft kiss to his nape. “My treasure,” he murmured. This close, he could feel xiao-Shu’s skin heat as he colored, and smiled. “It’s the truth.” He found himself repeating that a lot, to xiao-Shu, but that was all right; he was perfectly willing to repeat himself until xiao-Shu believed it.

And perhaps that was closer than he’d thought, because although xiao-Shu didn’t answer, he did cuddle deeper into the circle of Jingyan’s arms. Jingyan held him closer, breathing in the warmth of that simple acceptance, and closed his eyes. Nothing undid him like these small moments of closeness and trust, the reassurance that his xiao-Shu was returned to him, whole and entire.

He cradled xiao-Shu closer and let the sweetness of his presence sink into his bones and soothe away the chill that had grown there over the year and more he’d had to bear the growing shadow of the throne’s weight alone.

Six

Normally, Cai Quan rather liked seeing Xia Dong stalking into his offices. She was undeniably his favorite official, in his own Ministry, and the knife-sharp smile she wore when she’d secured unarguable evidence of some wrongdoing never failed to cheer him. Today, though, her expression was darker, fiercer, and Cai Quan braced himself as he accepted her report folio.

“I tracked the goods,” she said, flatly, folding her hands behind her, “and the money. It came from us.”

Possibly, he had not braced himself quite enough. “Did you find from what faction?” he asked, grimly, not looking forward to the scandal and infighting this could spark.

“I recognized the name given by the courier.” Her jaw was tight. “He was one of Xuanjing’s agents.”

Cai Quan’s hands closed tight on the edge of his writing table as a cold wave of fury and reflex fear washed over him. “This… this was approved by the Emperor? Undermining one of his own armies?”

Now he understood perfectly the hardness in her level gaze. “The Emperor never favored the military. This is the man who approved the execution of Chiyan’s commanders when, as far as he knew, the Da Yu army was still a threat on our northern border. I suspect he would have thought the extension of Xuanjing’s network and influence beyond our borders a decent trade.”

As Xia Jiang would have, Cai Quan added to himself, as Xia Dong probably would have added if she ever spoke Xia Jiang’s name, these days. He glanced over her summary report and scrubbed his hands over his face with a resigned sigh. “Their Crown Prince’s faction, wonderful. I’ll probably have to bring the Chancellor’s office in on this.” That was never pleasant. The whole of that office tended to an approach they called ‘pragmatic’ and he called ‘morally questionable’. Well, no help for it. He straightened and gave her a firm nod. “I’ll probably call for you, when we go before the Crown Prince. For now, get some rest and catch up with yourself. And also with that girl you recommended.” He had to smile a little, remembering. “She’s impressive, but she also drove the mews-keepers to distraction, waiting for word of you.”

The tight line of her mouth softened a little, at that. “Gong Yu gets very focused,” she agreed, and took what looked like her first full breath in a while. “I’ll be standing by, Minister.” She gave him a short bow, and strode out.

Cai Quan contemplated the tangle of military, ministries, and imperial plotting that an apparently straightforward case of misappropriation had developed into and indulged himself in one heartfelt groan before picking up his brush and starting to write his requests for time and information from the other ministries.


Jingyan was beginning to be just a little sympathetic to his father’s tendency to shout when arguments broke out in front of him. Not terribly sympathetic, but he was aware of a growing urge to gag his ministers with their own hats.

“This wouldn’t have happened in the first place if military officers were paying more attention to their duties than to promotion!”

“This isn’t about the Ministry of War, this is about a history of corruption in State Revenue…”

“We can’t just strip either Ministry, this is going to take time to fix…”

“The real point here is that this was approved at the highest levels…”

“No, the real point is that Northern Yan’s Duke Ma is threatening reprisals, and we don’t have enough money to support another extended campaign, yet…”

“And he only knows because your agent was careless!”

“Duke Ma and their Crown Prince clearly knew the source of that money.” Xia Dong’s voice cut easily through the bickering. “It’s a safe gamble, to accuse us.” She stood straight and calm at Cai Quan’s shoulder, not bothering to defend herself further, for which forbearance Jingyan was grateful.

And, through it all, xiao-Shu sat out of the way, at his own desk, reading reports and correspondence with a calm smile, not even looking up at the racket of the ministers arguing. Jingyan was starting to suspect, a bit darkly, that xiao-Shu was willing to indulge the Court’s taste for drama, at least in part, because he enjoyed it himself. Jingyan drew a fortifying breath and waded in.

“Sergeant Yang Liu and under-minister Tian Gen are already in the custody of the Ministry of Justice, and their trials will be conducted according to the law,” he started, and waited until Li Len and Shen Zhui had bowed acknowledgment. “Minister Cai has already judged the competence of his agent in this matter, and I have accepted his judgment.” Cai Quan and Xia Dong bowed in their turn, and Jingyan turned to Yu Qiao, the Chancellor of the Department of State Affairs, for the past two years. “Chancellor Yu. What, exactly, is Duke Ma saying to us?”

Yu Qiao stopped giving Xia Dong a dark look and drew himself up. “Highness. He is insisting that we were clearly behind the recent raid on his sealed records, and demanding recompense under threat of a military raid. I believe that we can still negotiate with him, though, if Your Highness will empower an envoy.” His gaze flicked sidelong at xiao-Shu, who appeared oblivious, only looking up to take a handful of paper from the Eastern Palace attendant xiao-Shu had unofficially annexed as his secretary and courier, who had sidled in and along the side wall. Xiao-Shu glanced over it all, nodded, handed back a sealed note, and went back to reading. Jingyan thought he saw a flash of satisfaction in Yu Qiao’s face before it smoothed into respectful entreaty. “The Department of State Affairs has many officials who are experienced in diplomacy, Highness. If I may suggest Huang Fu? We may have to make some gifts to Northern Yan, to smooth this unfortunate affair over, but Huang Fu will be able to prevent the matter from escalating to Northern Yan’s Crown Prince.”

“On the contrary,” xiao-Shu called, from his desk, still not looking up from his reading. “Involving the Crown Prince is precisely what we wish.”

Yu Qiao’s turned to glare at him. “There is no benefit in forcing an international confrontation to a higher level!”

Finally, xiao-Shu looked up, smiling. “Chancellor Yu. I understand very well your frustration, and I have no wish to add to it, but I have a responsibility to my own people. My workings cannot all be transparent to you.” He stood, brushing his robes straight and laying aside his papers. “I am, however, willing to make the results transparent.”

Jingyan thought that Yu Qiao suddenly looked less angry and more wary.

Xiao-Shu stepped out onto the floor before Jingyan’s desk. “You fear that Northern Yan’s Crown Prince stands behind Duke Ma, is using the Duke to test us, our cohesion, our readiness to war or to words. The reality is that, on the contrary, Ma is the one who wishes to test us. The Crown Prince will restrain him.”

Yu Qiao drew himself up, face hard. “Vice-Marshal, I ask that you not interfere in state matters on the basis of such wild supposition.”

“Supposition?” Xiao-Shu raised his brows at Yu Qiao, looking quite entertained, and Yu Qiao’s temper snapped.

“There’s no way you could possibly know—!”

“Under-minister Huang Fu requests entry!” one of the door attendants called. Yu Qiao turned away from xiao-Shu, every movement sharp and annoyed, and bowed to Jingyan.

“Highness, Under-minister Huang undoubtedly has news of this matter.”

Jingyan eyed xiao-Shu, who folded his hands and stood calm and smiling, and had to stifle a snort. Clearly, xiao-Shu’s game was still in play. “Very well. Let him enter.”

Huang Fu hustled through the room and bowed hastily to everyone. “Your Highness, Sir, Ministers. Chancellor Yu, we just received a letter under the seal of the Crown Prince of Northern Yan.”

Yu Qiao stiffened. “Already? What is he…”

“He apologized!”

In the resulting silence, Huang Fu proffered a folded letter. Yu Qiao slowly accepted and opened it, looking more and more baffled the further he read.

“Well?” Jingyan finally prodded.

Yu Qiao shook himself and looked up. “Highness. It’s as Under-minister Huang said. Northern Yan’s Crown Prince states that there is evidence this matter is internal, and apologizes for Duke Ma’s hasty judgment.” He stared at the letter for another long moment before it seemed to sink in, and then his head whipped around toward xiao-Shu. “How…?”

Xiao-Shu was still smiling, but it was a sharper, fiercer smile, now, and his voice was dangerously soft when he answered. “I know, Chancellor Yu, because I was the one who set their sixth Prince there, to be a friend and ally to my Emperor.”

Something like a shiver ran through the room. Everyone there knew it was not the current Emperor that xiao-Shu spoke of, and long years of stepping softly around the Emperor’s paranoia made xiao-Shu’s fierce candor chilling. Yu Qiao was looking wary again, perhaps even a little afraid. Xiao-Shu considered him for a long moment, and finally shook his head, smile turning wry. “Peace, Chancellor Yu. I understand your concerns, but, really, does this affair not assure you that I work only for the benefit of my lord?”

Jingyan tried very hard not to turn red at the familial title xiao-Shu used, especially when Shen Zhui started ‘coughing’ behind his fist and Dong-jie smirked outright. Trust xiao-Shu, he reflected, ruefully, to use everything to his advantage, even this. Yu Qiao opened and closed his mouth a few times before finally throwing up his hands. “Fine! You work for His Highness’ benefit. Have it as you will!”

“Only when it’s important,” xiao-Shu murmured.

Jingyan really did snort this time, at the magnitude of that untruth. Xiao-Shu nearly always got his way, and always had.

Yu Qiao’s expression said that he also doubted xiao-Shu’s words very much, but he only bowed to Jingyan. “It appears my Department’s concerned are resolved, for the present, Your Highness.”

“Then we’re done, here.” Jingyan held out a hand for the letter Huang Fu had brought. “I will respond to this myself.” After all, if xiao-Shu had arranged this alliance, for him, he should probably do his part to secure it.

Yu Qiao surrendered the letter with good grace and all of the ministers bowed themselves out. Finally. Jingyan contemplated the letter in his hands for a moment, and cocked a brow at xiao-Shu. “To be my friend and ally, hm?”

“We could use some,” xiao-Shu pointed out, dryly, leaning a hip against his writing table. “Northern Yan and Southern Chu were not the only places your father sought to keep busy by funding one faction against another. Admittedly, Prince Ren didn’t refuse the funds, or the plot, but he’s the sort that prefers fair dealing, when it’s possible.” He smiled at Jingyan, small and warm. “You make it possible.”

Jingyan smiled back, helpless, as always, to respond otherwise. “Very well, then. Let’s begin it here.” He unfolded the letter and spread it out over his desk, and xiao-Shu came around to read over his shoulder. The warmth of him against Jingyan’s side eased all the muscles that the morning’s arguments had pulled tight, and Jingyan settled down to read.

His ministers would hopefully learn this, in time: Lin Shu was the best hope they could have for an Emperor who would stay sane.

It was one reason that, while he would be glad for xiao-Shu’s sake, Jingyan wasn’t actually looking forward to the Lin Manor repairs being finished.

Interlude: Fulfillment

Lu Jian took a last turn through the Lin Manor, once everything was done. He always did this, with any project he worked on, making sure the blinds and dividers were all rolled evenly, picking up the bits of wood and paper that were always missed in shadowed corners, putting away the pails and scrub brushes that inevitably got left out. Shi Ping didn’t protest, or call him ‘fussy’ for it, just followed after him with a sack for the scraps, which was why Shi Ping was his senior foreman.

The Lin Manor wasn’t perfect. It was clear that major repairs had been done, and some of them showed, especially where he’d had to replace support beams and parts of walls. There were still places where the paint didn’t quite match, where the newer tiles stood out. This was still a manor that had been neglected for fourteen years before being repaired. Even so, Lu Jian was proud of the job they’d done. The place was solid and safe; it was even beautiful again. The gardens were clean and growing to some good order again. The sharp lines of each hall’s framing were softened and graceful with hangings. Lu Jian watched the breeze send ripples across the pools of the water garden and nodded, satisfied. “This was a good job.”

“Do you think they’ll actually use it?” Shi Ping asked, as they turned back toward the gates.

Lu Jian blinked at him. “Why wouldn’t they?!” He gestured around at the just-finished and, frankly, quite expensive renovation they’d completed, and been paid for by Lin Shu.

Shi Ping examined the roof-lines, as they passed through the second courtyard. “You hear rumors.”

Lu Jian rolled his eyes. “Rumors are only rumors. And even if it’s true,” he had to clear his throat, because some of the rumors were downright lurid, “they commissioned repairs. Someone is intended to live here.” He patted a pillar of the inner gates as they stepped through. “They aren’t living at Mu Manor either, are they, but that certainly isn’t being left to rot.”

Shi Ping looked satisfied, and Lu Jian shook his head, amused. Shi Ping invested a lot more in each job than anyone who’d just met him would ever realize from his laconic manner. “Lin Manor has a master again, and one that cares about the house” he said, firmly, as they stepped through the main doors and he turned to pull them shut, pausing to rub a stray speck of paint off the bronze ring. “That’s what keeps a house alive.”

His foreman knotted the sack of trash and tossed it over one shoulder. “Well, then. On to the next job.”

Lu Jian laughed and clapped him on the other shoulder. “As always!”

Seven

Lin Shu’s fingers paused, unfolding the accumulated night’s notes over breakfast. “Lu Jian writes that the repairs are finished,” he said, quietly.

Sound around the room hushed, just like the sound in his head felt like it had. Jingyan looked up, sober, hand a little halting as he set down his cup. Gong Yu clasped her hands tight, dark eyes watching him intently, waiting for a cue. Liu An was biting her lip, just a little, glancing back and forth between Lin Shu and her husband. After a moment, Nihuang reached over and closed a hand over his, tight and sure. “Shall we go and see, today, then?”

He took a breath, trying not to be obvious about how much he needed the moment to settle himself, and nodded, turning his hand up to lace his fingers with hers, anchoring himself. His eyes slid back toward Jingyan as if pulled there, though, and Jingyan caught them. When he smiled, small and warm, and asked, “Shall I come along?” it felt like release through his chest and down his spine.

“If you have time.” That was disingenuous, of course. He needed them both with him, very much, these two who had been there, who shared so many of his memories. Fifteen years ago, he’d have said so. Fortunately, both of them still understood him perfectly well, at least if the exasperated looks they both gave him were any indication. He bent his head with a slightly unsteady chuckle. “Yes, all right.”

Nihuang leaned against his shoulder, warm and steady. “Watch over things while we’re gone,” she directed Gong Yu, who nodded seriously, as if she’d heard more than just the words Nihuang had said. If Lin Shu hadn’t spent his entire life observing every man of his acquaintance have just as little control over what was allegedly his own inner court, perhaps he’d be worried about that. As it was, he took a moment to be rather smug that his mother had chosen so well, for him.

It was a moment’s distraction, anyway.

He continued focusing firmly on little things, as they made their way out through the north-east district—the brightening of the gray sky as morning drew on and lit the overcast clouds, the tug of the leather reins in his hands as his horse tossed it’s head at a passing wagon, the steady chime of the bells on Nihuang’s horse’s chest-band. And these little things brought him, without panic, to the steps of Lin Manor.

The last time he’d seen the entrance, it had been overgrown, even in winter, untrimmed bamboo running wild, flowering trees sprawling messy and unpruned, doors hanging open and a little askew. Now the summer-green trees framed the fresh, dark paint of the doors neatly. It looked like someplace people might live, where he might expect a house servant to open the door at any moment and bow greeting. Except that they wouldn’t, at least not the servants he remembered. Not more than a bare handful, if they even wanted to return, by now.

Jingyan’s hand on his shoulder brought him back to the present with a jolt, and he swallowed the shock of it, nodded, and put his foot on the stairs. And another. And another. Until he could touch the doors, and see Nihuang’s hand beside his. When he glanced over, she was looking up at him, eyes dark, and gave him a steady nod. He returned it as well as he could, and together they pushed open the doors.

The house was bright and clean. As he stepped through to the inner gate, feeling like he might be walking through a dream, he saw fresh paint, washed flagstones, scrubbed tile everywhere he looked. The first courtyard was neatly swept, autumn flowers just starting to show buds in the lining beds. The deeper into the house he walked, the more he felt like these simple sights were knocking his breath out.

He didn’t quite realize it was literal until Nihuang pushed him down on the steps of the west breezeway and rubbed his back, frowning. “Shu-ge, look at me.” She studied him intently, when he looked up, and pursed her lips. “Well, you’re not in shock. Yet. Sit and catch your breath for a minute, though, all right?”

He took a deeper breath and nodded, trying to ground himself in the warmth of her hands, and of Jingyan’s hands when he knelt in front of him and took his shoulders.

“Xiao-Shu…”

He flinched at the way Jingyan’s voice echoed in memory and the present both, and Jingyan frowned, worried. Lin Shu reached out to rest his hands on the sleek, heavy silk of Jingyan’s robes, so much finer than anything he’d have bothered to wear back then. It helped.

“I’m all right,” he finally managed, husky.

“Should we leave, for today?” Nihuang asked, still rubbing his back slowly. He shook his head.

“I want to see it all.” To see and know, and not wonder later. Nihuang and Jingyan exchanged not entirely pleased looks over his head, and he huffed a faint laugh. “I need to see it all as it is, now.”

“All right,” Jingyan sighed, and held out his hands to pull him upright.

Lin Shu took them and stood, and was grateful that both of them stayed in contact once he was up, Nihuang’s hand wrapped around his arm, and Jingyan’s resting on his shoulder. It helped remind him of what was real as they circled the mansion slowly, passed through the third and fourth courtyards, newly painted red framing gleaming gently in the day’s indirect light, echoing with the memory of his younger cousins running down the outer walks, laughing, calling for Lin Shu ge-ge to hurry up.

They took one turn through the rear building and started back toward the gate through the main hall. His steps slowed there, caught by the memory of his father leaning one elbow against a backrest, cup half-forgotten in his fingers as he argued strategy with his generals, of the sweep of his mother’s sleeves as she gestured, laughing together with Aunt Yueyao, when she visited.

The inner hall was easier, in a way; the room for the family shrine was empty, but he’d seen the hall where the tablets did stand, now, had finally performed the proper rites for them. That was a memory he could hold on to without being cut. There was new wood here, too, he noticed as they stepped out. It was smoothly set into the landing, and the whole steps and landing re-painted, but it flexed a little differently under his feet than the older wood. He wondered what had happened to it; the framing, and sometimes walls, had been replaced elsewhere, but not the floors.

A memory slid past his mind’s eye, of his mother standing at the top of these steps, smiling, hands held out to welcome him home.

Something that wasn’t a memory, something made of whispers and rumor and horror, followed—his mother, at the top of these steps, sword drawn, watching strange soldiers burst through her home. His mother’s blood spreading and pooling over the wood, sinking in and staining, too deep to ever plane away. His knees hit the steps, and he reached out, half expecting his hand against the wood to turn red.

“Shu-ge!”

“Xiao-Shu!”

It took long, long moments to remember where he was, and when, and why, to understand why there were arms around him, why the shoulder under his head was wet and the hand against his neck was shaking just as badly as his own were. It took long, gasping breaths before he could gather himself enough to lift his head, to see Nihuang and Jingyan looking back, faces just as wet as his. “I can’t,” he whispered, voice rough and choked. “Not where Mother…”

Nihuang pulled his head back down, arms tightening around him fiercely. “Then we won’t. It’s all right.”

“But…”

“So stay in the home you already have,” Jingyan told him firmly. “With me.”

He looked up again at that, with a faint, helpless laugh. “Zhou Wei really will resign if we try to do that.”

“Nonsense,” Jingyan said at the same time Nihuang was saying, “Don’t be ridiculous.” They smiled at each other in a way that made him laugh again, rough in his throat after the tears. Jingyan reached out to wipe the wetness off his face with a gentle palm, and he couldn’t help leaning into the touch, the reminder of what he still had, here and now.

“Most of the Court already knows perfectly well that you’re lovers,” Nihuang pointed out, rubbing her hands gently down his arms. “And half the ministers already treat the two of you like you’re some eight-limbed beast named Highness-Sir.”

Jingyan snorted over that, mouth tugging up in a wry smile. “True enough.”

Lin Shu shook his head a little, thoughts turning over again, albeit a little slowly still. “Maybe that will work for now, but when you take the throne…”

“Then our rooms will be further apart,” Jingyan stated, flat look daring anyone, including Lin Shu, to argue. “I won’t say that I’ll like that, but I also won’t let it make any more difference than that.”

Lin Shu felt too wrung out to argue with Jingyan’s stubbornness, especially backed by Nihuang’s. Perhaps he’d best leave that to Gao Zhan. Yes, surely Gao Zhan would have the wisdom and patience to argue them back to reason.

He couldn’t. Even if it would be the wise thing to do, he couldn’t. Not now.

They both smiled, obviously feeling the tension in him slacken, and he rolled his eyes and let them help him to his feet, keeping his back carefully to the inner hall. By the time they’d reached the outer gate, he managed to say, quietly, “Perhaps we could keep some staff here, if anyone wishes to return.” He didn’t want to see Lin Manor fall into disrepair again, just because he couldn’t bear to walk here again.

Nihuang smiled up from where she’d ducked under his arm, eyes a little wet again for a moment. “Yes. Let’s do that.”

Stepping back out into the city, feeling the support of Jingyan’s arm around his shoulders, and Nihuang’s warmth against his side, he took what felt like his first free breath all day, and turned toward the horses that would take them home.

Coda

Gao Zhan smiled benignly at the youngsters gathered in the inner receiving room of the Eastern Palace, folding his hands. “Why yes, I don’t see why not.”

The Crown Prince smiled with immense satisfaction, and the Princess Nihuang exchanged a pleased nod with the Crown Princess, while Lin Shu stared at Gao Zhan with a betrayed look.

“Gao gong-gong,” he started, nearly sputtering. Gao Zhan waved dismissive fingers.

“Palace Affairs may complain a bit, at first, but, really, it’s hardly the first time this has happened. They’ll find precedents, and then they’ll be happy again.” And if they weren’t, well, they would be once Lady Jing was finished with them. Gao Zhan’s smile may have broadened a hair at the thought, and the young Vice-Marshal threw up his hands.

“All right. All right! Fine!”

Gao Zhan bowed, hiding the urge to laugh outright at the young man’s dramatics. “If that was all, then I will take my leave.” He patted Zhou Wei on the shoulder, on his way out, and got a harried look in answer. Yes, they were all settling in quite well. Zhou Wei had always needed a challenge to bring out his best.

He strolled back through the Palace complex, enjoying the late-summer warmth of the evening, reflecting on how pleasant it might be to have an Emperor who loved, rather than feared, those nearest to him, and was loved by them with such fierce loyalty. Gao Zhan liked the thought quite a bit. He thought the Court and country would, too, once they got accustomed, and if time had taught him anything it was that people did get accustomed if you just gave them a little while. He smiled up at the first stars coming out in the darkening sky, and though he’d never gained the learning of the royal scholars who read the skies, he felt deep in his heart that those stars agreed with him when he murmured softly, aloud.

“All will be well.”

End

Black Turns to Blue

One

When Liu An had come to be examined for betrothal to the new Crown Prince, she had been a little nervous, but mostly excited. She was not one of the great beauties of the realm, had never even imagined appearing on the List, but she was thoroughly schooled in managing a household, was a reasonable musician with a flute, was even judged fairly deft at body services. She represented quite a good political alliance. And, her own close-held secret, she had actually met Prince Jing. She knew better than to place too much weight on that, but being rescued from bandits certainly made more of an impression than anyone else her parents had spoken of betrothing her to!

So she’d bowed deferentially under the cool, lovely eyes of her prospective mother-in-law, answered her questions softly, and hoped. And, indeed, fate seemed to favor this chance of hers. When she heard she was the one chosen, she’d been nothing but excited, delighted, holding her mother’s hands and laughing at the news.

It wasn’t until she stood before her newly betrothed that she felt a faint shiver of alarm up her spine.

She had not expected to be particularly noticed, that day at the monastery; he’d been seeing to his men, speaking to the priests, had spared no more than a glance to be sure she was not injured. Everyone knew Prince Jing was a man of action, so she hadn’t been surprised. But even here, in the outer rooms of the Eastern Palace, somewhere that should be a place of repose and even triumph for him… he was so stern. His eyes saw her when he looked at her, yes, but he only looked for a moment before turning away again—courteous, but so distant. Intimidated, she spoke only formal words of pleasure, and he spoke brief, equally formal words of welcome, and then he was gone, striding out the doors like someone shrugging out of a cloak, and Liu An bit her lip.

Consort Jing’s arm settled warm around her shoulders, and when she looked up, the Lady wore a small, rueful smile, so she dared to ask, “Mother, is my husband-to-be displeased?”

“Not displeased, child. Simply… distracted.”

Men of the military families were taught to track the movements of armies, but women who were meant for the court were taught to track other things: the flicker of an eye, the passing word, the shift of weight that could say where thoughts marched. Liu An had learned her lessons well; she heard the delicate emphasis Lady Jing placed on her words, and her heart sank. She looked down at her clasped hands and murmured, “Is there another?”

This close, she could feel her mother-in-law’s sigh. “He is Crown Prince, and likely to be Emperor; much of his attention will always be given to his people. As for his heart… even I did not realize how much of that was given to his young cousin until xiao-Shu was gone.” She held Liu An a little closer and murmured into her ear, “If you can be here for him and not reproach him, and accept how much of him is given to his kingdom, his people, the brother of his heart, then it will be well. I believe you can do this. It’s why I chose you.”

Liu An took a breath, heartened by that; it was not another woman she would need to contend with for control of the household. Rather, from what Lady Jing said, it was only that her husband-to-be was a man of duty and… and, perhaps, of grief, if his heart’s brother was gone. “I will, Mother,” she answered stoutly.

It was not difficult, to start with. Her husband-to-be was stern, yes, and reserved, and focused on many things that were not her, but he was courteous when they met, and she started to know how to look for the little easing in the straight line of his mouth that meant he was pleased. Liu An attended closely to her mother-in-law’s quiet directions and demonstrations of what made her son’s relentlessly straight shoulders relax a little. And the Lady was very kind to her. She started to find that Lady Jing’s gentle smiles, when she succeeded in some small thing, like the first time she made hazelnut pastries that the Crown Prince liked, made her almost as happy as they made the Lady’s son. The first time she and her husband-to-be smiled at each other, awkward but sweet for all that, was when Lady Jing kindly complimented her tea brewing in the Prince’s hearing, and Liu An looked away, delighted and a little flustered, only to catch his eye.

Though she had no idea why the Lady’s remark that they both disliked strong tea, so perhaps Liu An would let him have as much water as he really liked should make his gaze turn distant again.

As the days passed, she found herself increasingly in awe of Consort Jing, her knowledge of the court, the graceful calm with which she spoke to this maid, that eunuch, another consort, and thereby opened the way before her son and his advisors, broad and smooth with the good will or self-interest of everyone around them. She attended to these subtle lessons, also, though she doubted she would ever be the master Lady Jing was. And the day Lady Jing laid a quiet hand on her shoulder and murmured in her ear exactly who her long-time nurse was beholden to, Liu An clasped her hands tight together and smiled.

"I will take the utmost care in choosing my attendants," she murmured. "And I’m sure my house’s guards can secure everything that needs to be brought here to the Palace." The tiny, satisfied smile the Lady gave her at her faint emphasis on ‘everything’ made her heart nearly burst with pride.

Making her first moves in the game of court, rather than waiting for another to move her, making a successful move, she understood a little better how some people let themselves be drawn so very deeply into that game. She understood it, but she could not entirely approve of where that so often led (only look at where it had led the Empress and Consort Yue!), and she thought her husband felt the same. And once the wedding was past and she began to take hold of the Eastern Palace as her household, she began to wonder at how often she saw the scholar, Su Zhe, visiting her lord. She knew the whispers of him, of course; who didn’t, after the past few years? The genius strategist, the Qilin scholar, the one behind the rise of the old Crown Prince, of Prince Yu, and then of her husband.

Thinking on what had become of the first two men, she couldn’t help but feel some trepidation. Was her husband only the most recent in some longer game? Would he go down the same way, dropped from this man’s hand when his use was done? Eventually, unable to tell for herself what Su Zhe meant to do, this man who walked so softly and casually through her house, who smiled at her, faint and distracted, and nodded courteously, but whose glance was so sharp it felt like it should slice her skin each time it fell, even glancingly, on her, she went to Lady Jing.

“Su Zhe?” The Lady blinked at her, hand actually paused on her cup, seeming genuinely startled.

“I’m probably being foolish,” Liu An murmured, looking down at the delicate, greenware pot as she set it down, carefully aligned in its corner of the tray. “You must surely have thought of all this already. I just… my lord…” Gentle fingers touched her cheek, and she looked up to find her mother-in-law smiling, affectionate and yet sad. So very sad, and Liu An caught her breath on the sudden understanding of how deep that melancholy that often hung around Lady Jing like an old, faint scent must truly run. “Mother…?” she whispered.

“Be at ease, child,” Lady Jing said, softly. “There is nothing in that man that is capable of betraying Jingyan.”

Liu An nodded slowly, still uncertain. She knew Lady Jing had greater understanding of the situation than she did, but this was so counter to everything she had ever heard of Su Zhe. Her mother-in-law’s smile lightened a little with amusement, and she patted Liu An’s hand. “Here.” She called one of her ladies to bring her a stacked, lacquer box, and set it on the table before Liu An. “Bring them some sweets, today, and watch a little. I think you will see.”

Liu An straightened; this was a lesson, then. “Yes, Mother,” she murmured, gathering her robes to take her leave, taking the box of sweets with her.

Sure enough, Su Zhe was announced that afternoon, and she waited until her husband called for tea, minding her breathing to hold down her nerves. Both men looked up with some surprise when she accompanied the tea in, but as soon as Su Zhe’s eye fell on the box in her hands he smiled, faint but knowing. Liu An tried not to feel like a transparent screen as she bowed and answered her husband’s raised brows with, “Your lady Mother sends these, my lord.”

As she knelt to unpack the delicate sweets and lay them out, Su Zhe’s smile deepened at the corners, and he slid her husband a sidelong look. “Still no hazelnut. Are you going to perish from the lack, yet?”

A sudden smile, albeit half stifled, broke over her husband’s face, startlingly bright, and only years of training kept Liu An’s hands moving smoothly as he elbowed Su Zhe without looking at him, and Su Zhe elbowed him back, both of them positively grinning. She stood in a bit of a daze at this sudden, so very clear friendship between them, holding on to her countenance with her fingernails, and bowed herself out. Her husband’s nod was kind but thoroughly distracted, all his focus on the man beside him.

“I’m sure Mother simply doesn’t want to deal with xiao-Shu complaining over having to spend a week in bed after encountering them,” he said as she turned to go, clearly teasing. That, in itself, was a sufficient shock, coming from her stern, reserved husband, that she didn’t register what he’d called Su Zhe until she was nearly at the door.

Xiao-Shu?

A relation, if he was still using diminutives at this age, her social training supplied in calm reflex, regardless of the disorientation of her thoughts. One he was close to, likely had grown up with. Genealogies unfolded before her mind’s eye, the families connected by marriage to the royal line: Yan, Xie, Lin, though no one spoke aloud of that now, of the disgraced family that had seemed so secure and so gifted with talent…

Lin Shu.

She had to catch herself against the edge of the room’s open screens at the shock of that name surfacing. It shouldn’t be possible, the whole family had died, but that was the only Shu she could think of that Xiao Jingyan would speak to so familiarly. And hadn’t Lin Shu been hailed as a genius? She glanced over her shoulder at them, and got another shock; Su Zhe (Lin Shu?) was looking back at her.

He held her eyes for one long moment, and then gave her a tiny smile and a deliberate nod, and yet another shock ran through her.

He had let her see this.

It had been he who started the teasing exchange in her presence, showed her how close he must be to her husband, possibly (probably!) even known that would prompt the Prince to use that old, familiar name. And had, apparently, judged her accurately enough to know she would be able to unravel the name. And had confirmed all of this in no more than a nod. She clutched the screen’s frame, feeling a little faint, the way she had the first time she’d truly understood the reach of Lady Jing’s influence and control, in the Palace.

It was the memory of her mother-in-law that steadied her, though, because she heard again the Lady’s quiet words, in her mind. There is nothing in him that is capable of betraying Jingyan. She clung to the memory of those words, even as the scope of what her husband might be planning started to expand alarmingly in her mind, and drew herself up, resettled calm around her like a fine robe. When she dipped another bow to the man watching her, straight-backed, she thought she saw a glint of approval in his eyes before he turned back to her husband.

So there were two masters of this deadly game who stood behind her husband, she thought as she walked away. So be it, then.

It wasn’t until she’d gone to bed, that night, settling herself under the summer-light coverlet, that she remembered where she’d heard the name “xiao-Shu” before—it had been when Lady Jing was telling her of her husband’s beloved cousin, who had been lost, and her mouth tilted ruefully in the darkness. No wonder he brightened so, when Su Zhe teased him. Well, at least this answered her unvoiced question—whether the Crown Prince truly intended to force the issue of the Chiyan case. He almost certainly did, if the one Lady Jing had called the brother of his heart had returned from death itself to stand beside him and demand justice. She turned over, pulling the cover closer around her shoulders. It would be dangerous; she remembered whispers of what had happened to those who tried to defend Lin or Prince Qi, and death had been the kindest outcome. She couldn’t deny the fear that wrapped around her throat, when she thought of that. And yet…

Wasn’t justice right? Wasn’t the bright, unyielding conviction of that one of the things she admired in her husband? And hadn’t she thought, just this afternoon, that two masters had both bent their thoughts and skill to this end, supporting him? Very well, then; so would she, as was only right and proper.

Her husband’s unbending integrity was a measure she thought she could willingly raise her children to, and thinking that, she smiled into the darkness and returned Lin Shu’s quiet nod, firmly.


Liu An stood in the entrance of her husband’s rooms, watching over him quietly.

She didn’t know what else she could do.

They had triumphed so greatly, politically and personally, and she had rejoiced with them—her husband, her mother-in-law, her cousin by marriage. Even now, the rest of the country celebrated their military victories, the successful defense of their borders. In these rooms, though, and in the rooms of the Lady Jing, there was grief, grief so heavy in the air she could nearly taste it.

Lin Shu was dead.

Her husband sat quietly, staring straight ahead with a still face, and a casual passer-by might only think him deep in his own thoughts. But he hadn’t moved for hours, and his eyes… she tried not to look too closely, because when she did she had to step back into the shadows of the pillared hall and wrestle back her own tears.

“My lady?” It was Zhao Fang beside her, one of the attendants she’d brought from home, hand hovering under her elbow. She must look in need of it, Liu An supposed.

“I’m well,” she murmured, and a tiny smile tugged at her mouth, at the frankly dubious look on Zhao Fang’s face as she bowed acknowledgment.

“My lady…” Zhao Fang hesitated but finally rushed out, very softly, “My lady, have you told him? It might… it might comfort him.”

Liu An laid her palm against her stomach, biting her lip. They’d only been sure this month, and already the flurry was starting among her attendants, to ensure the harmony of her surroundings and the well-being of her developing child. But the news from the border had come before she could tell her husband. Would this news help, here and now?

She found herself thinking of the man she’d only met a few times, of how his spirit had burned in him, a cloak of fire laid over shoulders that had always been bent under the weight of illness. Even without Lady Jing’s great learning in medicine, Liu An had seen that weight, and honestly been a little frightened by the force of will that drove forward despite it. And yet, even in the midst of all that burning will, he had still teased his cousin, reassured her, been mindful of the hearts around him.

Liu An did not yet have the knowledge or skill of Lady Jing, to match the scope of Lin Shu’s strategies, nor did she have the strength of arms to win victories in war, like Princess Nihuang. But Lin Shu’s mindfulness, that she could carry on, here and now, with nothing but what already lay in her hands. “Leave us for a while,” she told Zhao Feng, and drew a long, slow breath for calm before she turned and walked into her husband’s rooms, steps sure and steady.


It wasn’t a memorial. The time for that would be later, after clean-up had been done and they’d returned to the capital. Tonight was a different kind of tradition—soldiers still in the field, gathering to mourn the fallen at least enough to put the grief aside in the morning and go on.

“Was he always like that?” Jingrui asked, low, eyes on his cup. A ripple of something fond, if too subdued to be laughter, ran through the tent where the northern army’s officers had gathered.

“The entire battlefield at his fingertips, even when he’s in the middle of it?” Zhen Ping asked, with a faint smile. “Yes.”

“Always sure, in an instant, what you should do?” General Meng added, and tossed back his own drink. “Yes.”

“And really thinking about, well, the long term?” Yujin asked, looking around at the older men. “I felt like he wasn’t just looking at the battlefield. He was thinking, the whole time, about all the next steps, and getting everyone home, and…” He broke off, blinking hard, and took a long drink, himself.

“Yes,” Li Gang said, simply, reaching over to pour again. “Those of us left, we didn’t just follow him because we survived together. It’s that he never stopped being our Vice-Marshal. And our Vice-Marshal was always like that.”

Jingrui closed his eyes and took a deep breath, and when he let it out he felt a twist of pain he’d never been able to let go before ease a little. “I’m glad of the chance to know him, this way.” Maybe it was just the change in his own perspective or expectations, but with Lin Shu as his commander, he’d never felt that he’d been set second to anyone or anything, even when it was his unit used as bait or ordered to hold, even when they lost men doing it. Rather, he was an indispensable part of the whole that Lin Shu commanded and cared for. He was grateful for that knowledge, to hold in his heart, the last gift from the brilliant cousin who had pulled he and Yujin into manhood this past year, like it or not.

And it was Yujin who held up his cup and said, softly, “To Lin Shu, Vice-Marshal of the Chiyan Army and commander of the Northern border.”

Everyone in the tent drained their cups, and Jingrui thought that maybe his cousin’s spirit smiled on them, wry and affectionate.


Mu Nihuang had expected the letter.

Of course she had. The words on which she had parted with Lin Shu were not words spoken by a man who thought he would return.

Even so, it took a few breaths before she could force herself to reach out and take the letter held out to her by the girl at her feet, hand shaking. Both their hands were shaking.

She opened the letter only long enough for the characters "Lin Shu" and “dead” to make sense to her, and then her hand clenched on the thin paper, crushing it, and she closed her eyes against the burn of tears, trying to breathe past the pain sawing at her heart.

She had expected this, hadn’t she? Why did it hurt so much?

It wasn’t until the girl whispered, “I should go,” that she managed to regain a small grip on her composure, swallowing hard and wiping half-angry palms across her wet cheeks.

“Rest the night here, at least,” she offered, husky. “You’ve come a long way.” And then she looked down, really looked, and saw the wet tracks on the girl’s own cheeks, the trembling of her mouth, even when the girl’s teeth closed on her lower lip, obviously trying to conceal it. Softer, remembering Lin Shu’s rather plaintive complaints of how determinedly a young woman followed him, even to battle, remembering the girl she’d met just once, offering herself in place of her Chief’s friend, Mu Nihuang asked, “Gong Yu, yes?”

The hint of trepidation in her eyes, when the girl glanced up answered the question, even before she nodded slowly. Mu Nihuang took a deep breath and smiled down at her. “Stay a while, mei-mei,” she said gently, laying a hand on Gong Yu’s shoulder. “We can talk.”

The helpless widening of those eyes was reward enough for pulling herself together, as was the quick hand Gong Yu dashed across her face before looking up again and answering, hesitant and hopeful and maybe even a little awed, “Yes, jie-jie.”

Mu Nihuang knelt down and gathered Gong Yu close, laughing a little with soft, painful recognition when the girl buried her face in Mu Nihuang’s shoulder, armored as it still was, and sobbed. Yes—this she recognized very well. She stroked the loose hair falling down the girl’s back and let her own tears fall into the dark braids wrapped around Gong Yu’s head.

The sun was almost down before they got around to speaking in words, but that was all right. They both knew all the words already.


At the top end of a southern mountain trail, a man in flamboyant layers of white shook his sleeves back, eyes sharp and determined. “All right. Let’s see what we can do.”

Fei Liu nodded, holding tight to Su ge-ge’s hand to keep him from trying to leave again.

Su ge-ge wasn’t going anywhere without him.

 

Two

For a long time, or what might have been a long time, he was afraid he’d failed, each time he woke. He woke weak, groggy, never able to rouse to full awareness, and he knew that sensation from a decade worth of illness, fought stubbornly against it, as he always had, to push his thoughts past the fog to grip on the world again.

This time, though, he could never force himself past the cloudy uncertainness of almost-dreams. And what did that mean, if not failure, to fall ill again before his last task was done?

As it happened again and again, though, he started to wonder, in the fuzzy way that was all that was available to him, if perhaps it was all a dream—he’d never been so ill for so long. He’d have thought, if he really was this ill, he’d be dead. Or perhaps he was dead, and this not-quite-existing was what came next, for him. He’d been resigned to hell for years, really, and this was surely his personal hell. The one time he actually recognized one of the vague voices around him, it was Lin Chen saying, furiously “If you die, after all my hard work, I’ll revive you just so I can kick you down this mountain.”

An eternity of Lin Chen’s idea of beside manner. Most likely hell, then.

Eventually, though, he started to see things, lost in that fog of half-thoughts. He saw them very clearly, though he was almost sure his eyes were closed. Perhaps this was the vision of spirits?

Green grass, and a sky bluer than he’d thought was possible, and a white sun shining down—not scorching, but gentle.

A carriage with soft, gauzy orange curtains. He could hear every crunch of the wheels over a dirt road, but couldn’t feel the jolts, so he must not be inside it. Somehow this made sense to him.

A red streamer, blowing in the wind. Or a scarf? It moved like silk.

The tiny curve of Jingyan’s mouth that said he was amused, and he felt that curve pull on his chest like drawing a bow, felt the weight of that faint smile so viscerally he tried to speak to it, but he couldn’t move his mouth and no, no, he couldn’t be back to this again, he didn’t have the strength to start over a second time, no.

Air choked him and someone’s voice exclaimed “Idiot!” and he sank down into darkness again with relief.


Feeling returned first. He was lying down on something cushioned. Something heavy was draped over him from chin to toes. Slowly, it came to him that there was soft light on the other side of his eyelids. That he knew what the sounds around him were—not one vast cloud of noise any more, but the rush of running water, the brisk song of mountain birds, the rustle of cloth nearby.

There was a reason all of this should not make sense, but he couldn’t quite grasp it in his head. He tried to open his eyes, hoping sight would spark thought.

His lids were heavy, and slow to rise, but after a few tries he finally kept them open for more than a fuzzy flash of lightness. Half-drawn shades of bamboo hung from above. White screen paper was bright against the smooth, dark wood all around. Slanting sunlight made a glowing bar on the pale quilt laid over him. The fabric was soft under his hands when he finally managed to stir.

Lin Chen was sitting beside him, and lifted his head at the faint motion, brows rising when he saw his patient was awake.

That was the sight that sparked, not just thought, but memory, knowledge, panic, and Lin Shu tried to jolt upright, made a hoarse sound of frustration when he could barely move. Lin Chen rolled his eyes and pushed him firmly back against the bed.

“Of course your very first move would be to try to leap to your feet and gallop off. It’s fortunate I know exactly what kind of fool you can be, or I might have let you wake up before this and then we’d probably be stuck chasing you through the woods until you fell into a river and drowned of stupidity. You really do have a death wish, don’t you? You want to absolutely ruin my reputation as a healer, don’t you? Don’t bother denying it!”

He ignored this, as one was always well advised to ignore Lin Chen once he got going, and finally managed to rasp out of a desperately dry throat, “The border?”

Lin Chen gave him an exasperated look. “The border is secure, of course. You saw to that, before you got yourself stabbed in the side and tried to bleed out on the last battlefield.”

The relief of that was dizzying, and for long minutes, he just lay back and tried to breathe through it. Lin Chen snorted and picked up his discarded scroll again. Eventually, though, enough sense returned that he realized why this all seemed so very strange, and cleared his throat as much as possible to ask, roughly, “Why am I alive?”

At that, Lin Chen threw down the scroll and positively glowered at him. “Did you become stupid, just because you were surrounded by stupidity, in the capital? What did you think I signed up with the army for?” When Lin Shu only blinked at him, not quite able to gather his thoughts enough to explain that this was insufficient information, Lin Chen sighed and leaned over to pick up a cup and feed him water, a sip at a time. More quietly, he said, “I’m not you, so I didn’t think to switch the pills until after you’d already badgered the bottle out of me. And I had to follow after you, then, anyway, to adjust the doses and make sure you didn’t just collapse because I was using less deadly measures to increase your strength.” His mouth twisted, and he added, rather sourly, “And if those hadn’t been sufficient, I have no doubt you’d have gotten the more deadly measures out of me; I only hoped a little, and certainly not enough to say anything to you about it.” A haughty look. “Which you can hardly complain about, now can you, Su Zhe?”

A faint huff of laughter shook him. No, he probably couldn’t. Still. “How?”

Lin Chen smiled at him, sunny and glinting in a way that made him reflexively check the distance to the room’s exits. “You have assisted the study of medicine, Changsu, be proud. Since you were already going to need transfusions anyway, I took a chance.”

Horror crept through him, freezing his lungs, his heart, his blood

Lin Chen thumped him irritably with a knuckle to the hollow of his shoulder, sending a jolt down his arm and air flooding all the way down in his lungs, and snapped, “Don’t be ridiculous!” The air cleared his head enough, at least, to nod an apology for thinking his friend would use what they’d both agreed was a rightly forbidden procedure, even in extremity. Lin Chen resettled his sleeves, like a bird settling ruffled feathers. “You have your genius, I have mine.” At Lin Shu’s raised brows, though, he sat back a little and expanded. “I know you read the records on how Bingxu grass can be used; did you understand why?” Lin Shu shook his head and looked inquiring, which worked on Lin Chen about half the time. Fortunately, this seemed to be a day for it to work. “It increases your yin energy.”

Lin Shu blinked at this, because… well, he knew medicine wasn’t always intuitive to the lay-person, but still… Lin Chen smirked at him, good humor apparently restored.

“To put it simply, Bingxu grass dramatically increases your absorption. It poisons the system because we are not made or meant to indiscriminately absorb the influences around us. A body that suffers serious enough depletion will benefit from this, briefly, but without any way to filter or balance what is absorbed, any body will collapse into irrecoverable disorder in a few months. I gave you many strengtheners during the campaign, at very dangerous doses, but I didn’t give you Bingxu until I had you back here in Langya, where I could control your surroundings.”

All right, that made sense enough. “And transfusions?”

“Mm.” Lin Chen looked out the propped open windows over the new spring green spreading over the gray mountain slope outside, eyes distant. “Your followers are mostly fools, but even a fool can be correct sometimes. Zhen Ping asked me, during the campaign: if it would take the lives of ten to let you recover, would a tenth of the lives of a hundred not also serve? I had to delegate more of the selection process than I really like, but your Yan-daifu did an adequate enough job.” He looked back down at Lin Shu, gaze dark and steady in a way that held him still under the flow of words. “We found a hundred. And then I suppressed your mind and stimulated your instincts as intensely as possible for seven months, while they came, one after another, to offer a year or two of their health to you. Your instincts, at least, want to live, so there’s a small part of you that isn’t an idiot, I suppose. Enough to accept their gift, at least.”

He still didn’t like the sound of that at all. “Lin Chen—”

Lin Chen snatched a fan out of his sleeve and smacked him over the head with it. “Their health, not their lives! They will all recover with a little care, which is something you made possible for most of them in the first place! Shut up and be grateful!”

“I am grateful,” he protested mildly, rubbing his head with a trembling hand. He held it up to regard the tremors thoughtfully, but had to let it fall after a breath or two, unable to keep his arm lifted longer. His hands were thinner than ever.

“You’ll probably have to re-learn how to walk, after this long bedridden,” Lin Chen supplied. “Perhaps I’ll make a harness for you and give the leads to Fei Liu, to keep you from falling every other step.”

His mouth quirked, and he murmured, “You’ll have to leave off teasing him, then, or he’ll take me flying when he runs from you.”

He hadn’t realized quite how stiff Lin Chen’s shoulders were, until they relaxed, and then he wondered just how close to death he’d been, all this time. Lin Chen, of course, ignored his sharp look and only prodded him playfully with the end of his fan. “It might be good for you. Get your blood flowing properly. For now, though, let’s see how much you can eat without getting sick.” He pushed himself to his feet, shaking his robes straight, and swept out of the room, head high.

It seemed likely he’d been very, very close to death, given that kind of flamboyance. Lin Shu lay quietly, watching the shadows of the ceiling move, and wondered rather tiredly whether he was to find himself carrying the weight of other lives yet again, albeit smaller bits of them.

He didn’t know if he could do that, again.


The answer to how much food he could keep down was “almost none.” It prepared him a little bit for the answers to several other questions, such as how far he could walk (he passed out the first time he tried to so much as stand up) and could he even bathe himself (no). After having even a few months of something approaching his normal strength, again, it was galling. He quickly learned that Fei Liu haunted his rooms, and that waking up when the boy was gone had been very much an exception to the normal state of affairs, which now included Fei Liu being the one to put up his hair, on days Lin Shu was awake enough.

He was reasonably certain, as he ruefully patted at the knots that resulted, that this was a bit of Lin Chen’s revenge for worrying him.

Slowly, as days passed into weeks, he re-learned how to stand, how to hobble, at least, and sent Fei Liu out onto the mountain’s darkening green slopes to cut staffs for him to support himself on. Slowly, as the pines put out soft, new needles and the air warmed, things other than rice started to appear in his rice porridge. Slowly, as the white and pink lotuses bloomed on the verges of Langya’s river, his hands stopped shaking when he tried to hold up even the lightest book.

So very slowly. And for what was all this effort, now?

“You’ve done this before,” Lin Chen scolded him, when he was slow to get up and go for his excruciating hobbles around the broad stone flags of the plaza outside his rooms. “Last time, I had to keep you from breaking your neck by pushing too hard. Never thought I’d miss that,” he finished in a mutter.

Lin Shu rolled over on his back and stared up at the grimly familiar ceiling. “A year of recovery, again, for how much life left? You said it yourself: the body can only take so much.” Lower, he added, “The soul likewise, I think.”

Lin Chen crossed his arms, leaning against the room’s open screens. “True enough. You don’t have any reserves at all. Your tissues have lost almost all elasticity. You’ll fall ill easily. But,” he held up an admonishing finger, “the Poison of Bitter Fire is purged. You may live like a man over twice your age, but you can still live.”

“How long?” Lin Shu asked calmly, having long since learned to listen for what his friend didn’t say.

“Perhaps ten years.”

A crack of laughter escaped him, then, though it wasn’t amused. He hadn’t lied to Nihuang after all. It was no comfort. “Ten years of what kind of life? Should I go back to my loved ones and lay that kind of fate on them, to fret over me for years and then grieve me a third time?”

“I take it all back,” Lin Chen snapped. “You have no understanding of women at all. I think we shall have to reduce your rank on the gentleman’s list.”

The reminder of the other half of his place in the world outside jolted him up on one elbow. “Lin Chen…!”

Lin Chen rolled his eyes. “Oh calm down. Your name hasn’t appeared for two years, and right now you wouldn’t even make the top fifty, let alone the top ten. I’d rank you just below a drowned rat, at the moment.”

“What a relief,” he shot back dryly, propping himself fully upright and trying to catch his breath. Lin Chen eyed him for a long moment and then smiled, smugly.

“There, you see? You didn’t even cough once.”

He snatched up and threw the only thing in reach, which was his staff. Lin Chen slid aside, laughing, and caught it, spinning it deftly up and over to rap him, very delicately, over the head. Lin Shu swept a hand up to deflect, reawakened body memory taking over, however futile it had been for years now, and had to stop still when it actually worked. He could feel the pressure Lin Chen was putting on the staff, but his arm didn’t give way under it. That was what the angle of a deflection was for, of course, but still…

“You see?” his friend repeated, quietly.

He slowly closed a hand around the still-extended staff, taking it back. His grip trembled, and the staff wobbled. But he could still feel the force of actual strength, however small, that had been behind that single, unthinking move. “I could never really go back, though, could I?” he asked, low. “A man over twice my age would be retired long since.”

“Do you think you’re the only one?” Lin Chen shot back. “Your Crown Prince will never take the field again either, will he? Do you think him less for it?”

Lin Shu opened his mouth and then had to close it again to order his suddenly scattered thoughts. “Of course not,” he murmured, distracted by the new constellation those thoughts had fallen into in the wake of Lin Chen’s jarring question. “The work he has now is even more demanding, and…” He trailed off, remembering an empty throne room, and the empty remains of his uncle jabbing a finger at the throne.

Anyone who sits on this throne will change.

And perhaps… perhaps that was true, though he’d bet on Jingyan’s stubborn integrity against the weight of any throne. But change… yes. Jingyan would have to change, had already had to change, was already trapped in the capital as much as Lin Shu was trapped in his body most days. But he knew Jingyan would already be reaching for new footing, a new place to stand strong. He knew Lin Chen’s point was that he should not be less, should not let himself fall to despair either, but there was another thought linking itself ever so softly to the end of that chain.

Was it possible that he and Jingyan, shifting to each find his new footing, could stand in the same place, once again?

The thought spread through him like a fire catching from a spark, one slow lick at a time until it finally flared up in a burst of wanting that stole his breath. If he hadn’t already been sitting, he’d have fallen, dizzied by the very possibility. He would never, could never, ask Nihuang to abandon the field, would never permit another to suggest she open her fingers and release the martial brilliance she was born to, not for any man. But Jingyan… Jingyan was fighting a new kind of battle, now, and it was one Mei Changsu knew the ways of. To serve his dead he’d walked even the most shadowed turnings of that way, but to serve Jingyan, now, what was needed was to find the brighter tracks, the ones that would not consume his heart. And perhaps, just perhaps… Lin Shu could walk those ways with him.

He only realized he was gasping for breath when Lin Chen took his shoulder and shook him a little, frowning. “What idea have you gotten into your head now?”

Lin Shu laughed out loud, for the first time since he’d woken, and smiled up at his friend’s startlement. “Help me up. I need to walk.”

Startlement faded into a rueful twist of Lin Chen’s mouth, and he sighed. “I suppose I should know, by now, to be wary what I wish for, around you. Come on, then.” He hauled Lin Shu upright and handed him his staff, standing on the veranda with folded arms and a wry smile as Lin Shu made his way, with slow determination, around the plaza, staff clacking down firmly on the stones.


Recovery with no goal to work toward had been soul-killing, but recovery that still dragged on once he had a reason to fight through it was infuriating. He’d actually managed to forget just how frustrating it was when he knew he could be better and simply wasn’t yet. It had been quite a long time since he’d had any hint of “better” to look forward to, after all. Fei Liu brightened, though, and started perching in the trees again, to watch over him, instead of huddling stubbornly in a corner of his rooms, never budging outside unless it was to help him walk somewhere, and then refusing to move further than arm’s length away. Li Gang, when he visited, looked less like a man attending a very extended memorial service, and more like a man visiting a sick friend, though he still had a certain air of resignation about him.

Lin Chen had it, too, and finally said, one day while helping him get dressed like a civilized person and not an invalid, “You’re still going to leave your life with us, aren’t you? I can barely call you Changsu, these days.”

He tugged his sleeves straight, slowly, eyes on the soft layers of blue. “My life with you was only ever borrowed.”

“Oh, don’t be more of an idiot than you can help!” Lin Chen yanked his outer sash snug enough to drive a tiny grunt out of him. “You lived by the laws of our world without fault or hesitation for twelve years. You led Jiang Zuo with strength and care, and protected those who had obligation to you. Of course you had your own reasons for it, but what moment of that time was false?”

“No moment, perhaps,” he allowed, quietly, “but the reasons and intent that drove me do not weigh nothing in this. As you say, I am not, now, Mei Changsu.”

Lin Chen sniffed, stepping over his scattered books and scrolls to take a seat at the low table, graceful as he only ever was when he fought—or when he had a point to make. “Lin Shu isn’t completely intolerable, I suppose. Except when he’s moping.” He stabbed a finger at Lin Shu’s tiny snort of amusement. “But he does not make Mei Changsu a falsehood, any more than Changsu makes Lin Shu false.”

The words rang in the air, in his head, the way true things did. He stepped slowly over to the table, lowering himself down on the other side to watch his friend, who watched him back, sharp-eyed. “So, as you say, I have had two lives,” he finally answered, softly. “I will count myself fortunate for them. For you. For my people. But it’s true, isn’t it, that I can only live one at a time?”

For a long moment, he thought Lin Chen would not answer, or would turn aside with a jest. Instead, Chen sighed, propping an elbow on the table, loose hair sliding over his shoulder as he turned to look out at the brightening sky. “You weren’t wrong, you know; Lin Shu is a friend. I will visit him now and then, perhaps, to make sure he isn’t undoing my hard work, and I expect to see him visit here and mock with me all the foolish questions Langya receives. But no—you cannot live as both at once. No man can live in two worlds at the same time.”

It felt like release, like absolution, and Lin Shu took a long breath in. “Thank you.” His smile tilted wryly, but it was still true. “My friend."

“I would be a poor physician if I couldn’t see what my patient required to be strong again,” Lin Chen grumbled, not looking at him. “So? Who have you been grooming to take Jiang Zuo after you?”

It was, Lin Shu had to admit, refreshing to talk with someone who took his foresight and forethought entirely for granted, sometimes. He leaned against his backrest and offered the future a tiny, satisfied smile. “Nie Duo.”

Lin Chen’s head snapped around, and he stared for a breath. “Nie Duo? The brother of that hairy General of yours who married the investigator girl?” Lin Chen was the master of Langya, and almost as good at keeping track of affairs as Lin Shu; he could see the connections linking together, one after another, in those sharp eyes. Nie Duo was a man from a well-established military clan, one who’d grown up learning tactics, troop movements, how to plan a battle at the knees of his elders, who had connections to the military via his brother, to the intrigues of the capital via his sister-in-law. Nie Duo was the one who’d been sent beyond Liang’s borders bearing messages to the further flung members of Jiang Zuo, who was known and trusted by entire networks, who had laid the groundwork for the gambit in Yunnan, years ago, and would be recognized—though not for who he was—by Mu Qing. In short, Nie Duo was a man to make anyone hoping to take advantage of Mei Changsu’s disappearance regret the thought, swiftly and sincerely. Nie Duo was also the brother of a Chiyan General, and would never forget his debt to either his Chief or a revived Lin Shu. And when that last piece fell into place, Lin Chen threw back his head and laughed, open and delighted as he’d ever been with Mei Changsu.


In a softly-lit room of Liang’s Inner Palace, the woman who had become the Palace’s de facto mistress sorted through her day’s correspondence as one of her youngest maids put up her hair. Letters from the agents she’d finally been able to spread outside the Palace went to the side, to go over with Liu An later, once Jingyan’s son was taken off for a nap. Inventories, she glanced over and passed to Li Mei, who would see they came to Lady Hui. The few notes from officials she set firmly in the “not until after I have had tea” pile. That left…

“Shall we use the blue enameled hairpiece today, my lady?” xiao-Lan asked, and she smiled a little at the sparkle in the girl’s eyes. She’d chosen Chen Lan as one of her dressers exactly because the girl delighted so in achieving the proper harmony of fabric and jewelry with the day’s work, rather than simply piling ostentation atop display. It was one less thing for the Empress in all but name to worry about.

“Yes, that will do.” She frowned down at the last letter, though, as xiao-Lan carefully settled and pinned the gold and blue hairpiece in place, turning it over in her fingers. It had the seal of Langya.

She had considered, on more than one occasion, sending inquiries to Langya, especially regarding the balance of power beyond the borders, but every time she did, the value of keeping her own counsel and questions close had weighed more heavily. And now they wrote to her? Perhaps… perhaps there was some last request xiao-Shu had left with them? She broke the seal and unfolded the delicate paper, running her eye down it as xiao-Lan brought over a pair of long but simple gold earrings on a tray.

“Will these suit, my—my lady!”

The tray clattered to the floor as she clutched at her dressing table, trying to steady her breath, her heart, unable to tear her eyes from the few, simple characters on the paper in her hand, even as her attendants caught her arms to hold her upright.

Your nephew lives.

“Call for a physician, quickly,” Li Mei was snapping, kneeling beside her to feel her hands, her brow. “My lady?”

“I will be well,” she tried to reassure them, though she was ruefully aware of how unsteady her voice was, and that she would undoubtedly have ordered herself to bed, dosed with heart-strengtheners, were she her own attending physician. Actually, that was a good thought. “Bring me my red medicine chest.”

Li Mei frowned, but did as she said, and brought a cup of water to help her swallow the two pills she extracted from the upper layer of boxes. She counted breaths out, slowly, and finally felt the easing of her own pulse. “I’m well,” she reassured the girls clustered around her. “There’s no need to trouble the physicians.”

Li Mei’s mouth tightened for a moment, at that, but she dutifully shooed everyone back to their places.

“Are you sure, my lady?” xiao-Lan asked, picking the earrings she’d brought and laying them back on the tray with fingers that trembled just a little. Lady Jing patted her arm, kindly.

“Quite sure. And those earrings will do nicely.” She sat, calm and poised, while the last of her jewelry was placed, and drank her first cup of tea with hands that were perfectly steady.

She had, after all, many more years of practice than xiao-Lan did.


“You look like a housecat in a patch of catnip.”

Lin Shu took another loving breath of the steam rising from his cup and ignored Lin Chen.

“Are you actually going to drink that or not?”

“Good tea deserves to be savored.” Finally, he took a slow sip and nearly sighed with pleasure at the rich, delicate flavor.

On the other side of the room’s low table, Lin Chen held the letter he was reading a little away from him, brows raised. “You know,” he said, slowly, “your noble aunt has quite the vulgar turn of phrase on her, for a woman of the Inner Palace.”

Lin Shu nearly snorted the first mouthful of real tea he’d been allowed in months through his nose. Fei Liu, looked up from the paper menagerie he’d been folding with a worried frown, and only settled back slowly at Lin Shu’s waved assurance. “You wrote to Noble Consort Jing?” he gasped, once he’d finished coughing, sleeve pressed to his mouth. “Lin Chen…!”

“What? You are planning to go back, aren’t you?” Lin Chen gave him his most infuriatingly cheerful smile.

“Yes, but—!”

“She is your Prince’s other strategist, isn’t she?”

Lin Shu took a long breath, reminding himself not to argue on Lin Chen’s own terms, and set his cup down with precise fingers, which he was finally, thankfully, able to do. “I was hoping to manage the news of my revival in a slightly more graceful manner than driving a Noble Consort to swear at you in letters.”

His friend smirked at the letter. “Not a problem, really. I’m actually a little impressed.”

After a long moment, Lin Shu decided firmly not to ask. “Does my honored aunt have anything to say, aside from pointing out your lack of manners?”

Lin Chen fanned the letter through the air, looking more smug than ever as he leaned an elbow on the table. “She admonishes you to attend her in the capital with all due haste.”

“Do I take it, from this maneuver, that you think I’m fit to make the trip?” Lin Shu asked rather dryly.

Lin Chen looked him up and down, piercingly, and finally nodded. “You’re recovering more according to normal standards, this time. It will continue to be slow, and you will reach a limit, but that limit will be far less a matter of looking constantly over the edge of death and more a matter of… well, of simple age.”

Lin Shu dared another sip of his tea, this one rather more satisfactory. “Twice my age, hm?”

“That’s how much wear you’ve put on your body, yes. A man of sixty, who’s lived his whole life in war. He may be perfectly well, but he will often ache, he will be slow to recover from any illness, and he won’t be able to bear great stresses on his body.” Lin Chen leaned forward, slapping the table for emphasis, “Because he’s already borne as much as he can!”

“I heard you the first time,” Lin Shu pointed out, mildly, mouth quirking at the snort of disbelief he got.

“At any rate, yes. As long as you go slowly, you’ve reached the point where it would be good for you to be out traveling. I might even let you on a horse.” At Lin Shu’s startled look—this was the first he’d heard of any such possibility—Lin Chen flapped an impatient hand. “You’re recovering better than I expected, actually, and working on practice forms has smoothed your qi considerably. Provided you don’t do anything too very stupid, I’m starting to think you might live as much as twenty more years.”

Lin Shu had to set his cup down, feeling like his hand might start shaking again. Twenty years? That was… it was almost a life. His voice was a little hoarse when he asked, “How is that possible?”

For a long moment, Lin Chen didn’t answer, gazing instead out the open windows at the first flashes of autumn gold, dancing as wind swept through the bamboo on the mountain’s flanks. “The will of those who came to help and heal you is still with you,” he said at last, quietly. “It’s as if the tiniest seeds of a hundred benevolent ghosts gather around you.” After another moment, he shrugged off the sober mood and slanted a smile at Lin Shu. “When I write this procedure up, I’ll have to make very clear that the circumstances and intentions of the donors appear to weigh very heavily on the results.”

“Of course.” Lin Shu folded his hands together, more shaken by this news than he had been by the last two seasons of slow, painful recovery. He was used to slow and painful. Hope was what bewildered him, now. Even he could hear how tentative his voice was, when he said, “I suppose I should write to Meng da-ge to start arranging things, then.”

“Excellent idea!” Lin Chen pushed himself up from the table in a flurry of robes and smiled down at him, sunny and ruthless. “You can think about what to say while you work through your afternoon training form.”

With a glance of wistful regret at the teapot, Lin Shu levered himself upright as well. “As if your standards of proper form leave the slightest space for thinking about anything else.”

“You’d have plenty of mind left for it if you weren’t wasting so much on complaining. Ingratitude!” Lin Chen gestured broadly at Fei Liu, who promptly edged around Lin Shu’s other side. “Just look how pleased Fei Liu is that his Su ge-ge finally knows how to do something useful!”

That got him a very dark look from Fei Liu, who declared, “Fine!”

Lin Shu smiled wryly. He’d insisted as much, himself, for twelve years, flying in the face of all evidence. And now, past any point he’d ever thought to even imagine himself alive in, he seemed to finally be fine again—and barely knew how to deal with it. But perhaps, if all went well, he’d find out soon.

He’d know how fine he could be, he thought, when he saw Jingyan again.


Lady Jing descended from her closed carriage, passing from the assistance of Li Mei’s hand to Xiao Jingrui’s and smiled quiet acknowledgment of his greeting. “Her Highness is gracious to receive me,” she murmured as Xiao Jingrui led her up the stairs of Grand Princess Liyang’s elegant house. “I was worried when we didn’t see her for the Moon Festival. Is she quite well?” Without waiting for a reply, as the doors shut behind them, she added, “Is she truly willing to have this meeting here?”

“I don’t think she’s happy about it, but she’s appreciated your visits and care, this past year,” the young man answered, level. “If it’s true, I think she will be glad for you, at least.”

Lady Jing could well believe that. The Grand Princess had, in the end, loved her husband, but “complex” did not even begin to describe that love. She nodded silently and let Jingrui guide her through the courtyards to Xiao Liyang’s outer receiving room, dark wood lightened today with the pale rose her attendants wore, and the soft green of the tea set waiting on a low table. Xiao Liyang herself, as she rose to exchange greetings, was still in her dark, mourning blue; Lady Jing thought she would probably wear it the full three years, and not for her husband alone. At least one of the agents she’d been able to send out into the world had gone to quietly add Xiao Liyang’s gifts to the ones Xiao Jingrui sent to the Zhou family.

“Do you think this is for real?” Xiao Liyang asked, as they sat, reaching for the tea set.

Lady Jing folded her hands tightly under cover of her sleeves. “I hope so. From what the Master of Langya sent me, it seems… possible.”

Xiao Liyang’s mouth twisted a little as she poured. “I think the heavens must have a purpose for that man, that they return him so persistently to this world.” She looked up, eyes sharp. “Have you told the Crown Prince?”

Lady Jing held back an indelicate snort with the ease of long practice. “No. Not until I’m sure.” There were few things that could break Jingyan as surely as lying hope of his beloved cousin, and that she would not permit.

“They’re coming,” Xiao Jingrui said, from the door, nudging it open and beckoning his younger brother in, along with Meng Zhi and a tall, hooded figure. Lady Jing rose, eyes fixed on them, taking in Meng Zhi’s open excitement, Xiao Jingrui’s slowly brightening face. Thin hands rose to fold back the hood, and Lady Jing had to breathe through a wild rush of emotion—joy and shock and disbelief and a thread of hope that slowly strengthened as the man who stood there smiled, small and wry the way he seemed to have learned to in his second life.

“Xiao-Shu.” It came out husky, and his smiled softened a little as he bowed greeting to her.

“Aunt Jing.” That made her have to blink back tears for an instant; he used to call her that when he was much younger, careless of the protocol of court.

“Come here and let me see,” she ordered, as she had when he or Jingyan or Nihuang had managed to injure themselves training. He smiled for real at that, and came to hold out his wrist, obediently. She nearly held her own breath, setting her fingers over the pulse point, hope and fear of what she might feel tangling together, but long habit composed her to quiet attention.

And his pulse beat, sure and steady under her fingers, no hint of the stumble and catch that would tell of poison, of a body on the verge of collapse at any moment. It was weaker than it should be in a man only just past thirty, but it was steady. “It’s true,” she whispered, for the rest of them, for herself, for xiao-Shu, because she suspected he needed to hear it again, too. The laughing and shoulder-clapping among the men gave her a chance to re-gather herself, and she added, more calmly as she tugged his sleeve back down, “Perhaps I won’t do anything too very dreadful to your friend after all.”

He turned a little red at that, but only asked, “Does Jingyan know?” The rest of the room quieted, Meng Zhi looking hopeful, as if he might volunteer to carry the news this very hour. She gave him the same look she gave overexcited young maids, their first time serving in the Palace.

“He does not. And I believe this is news you should bring to him in your own voice.” Her nephew looked, perhaps, a shade nervous at that, which she honestly felt was to the good. She never wanted to watch her son collapse at her feet again, and one of the only people in the world who could either cause or avert that was standing in front of her right now, hands vanishing into his sleeves as he clasped them.

He’d probably learned that from her.

“If you think it best,” he agreed, quietly.

She gave him a nod of approval and gratitude, and hid a smile when he ducked his head a little; yes, for all he’d learned in thirteen years focused on vengeance and death, he was still their xiao-Shu. “I’ll arrange for the meeting. High Commander Meng, if I could trouble you to bring xiao-Shu to the Eastern Palace at the appropriate time?”

“Of course, Lady Jing,” Meng Zhi agreed, clearly delighted by all this, and she had to wonder whether xiao-Shu had told him, yet, that actually staying here would likely have to wait on the Emperor’s death.

“Very well. If the Grand Princess will permit,” Lady Jing looked a question at her, and Xiao Liyang nodded slowly, eyes flicking between xiao-Shu and her son, whose whole body was turned and focused on xiao-Shu, nearly as firmly as Meng Zhi’s. “Let us sit and talk a little,” Lady Jing finished, gently.

If Xiao Liyang’s son had been captured by Lin Shu’s brilliance, the way the boy’s subordinates so often had been, they would need to speak, later. Xiao Liyang would need reassurance that xiao-Shu returned loyalty given to him without stint—which the events of a year ago should bear abundant witness to, but mere bonds of friendship had been harshly strained to keep that dire loyalty, and the heart often needed these things explained.

Even xiao-Shu’s heart, which was another reason she wanted him to bear this news to Jingyan in person.

Lady Jing took up her tea cup and smiled over the edge, satisfied.


Lin Shu felt distinctly like the lover, in some tale of romantic adventure, being smuggled into the Palace complex. Except that, instead of going to meet a concubine, he was being led through the shadows and back stairs to meet the Crown Prince. His sardonic amusement, every time the senior palace lady they followed hissed at Meng da-ge to walk more softly, was undercut by a certain amount of nerves. Last time he’d come to the capital and sought out Jingyan, he’d had a very clear idea of what would need to happen. This time, all he had was the understanding that both of them were standing at the start of new lives, and the hope that they could lean on each other while finding their way.

Hopes could always fail.

He’d been the one to push Jingyan into this position, though, and if he had honor left after what he’d done to restore the names of his family and his men, it had to lie in supporting the Prince he’d placed here in the Eastern Palace.

Finally, they cleared the maze of gardens and back walks, and the lady waved them across the plaza in front of the Eastern Palace, blue robes vanishing into the shadows as she slipped away. Meng da-ge escorted him across the lantern-lit space, nodding approval at the alert guards, and Lin Shu had to stifle another chuckle at the whole affair. A young eunuch let them in, the slightly wide-eyed expression on his face suggesting that someone, likely Lady Jing but possibly Lady Liu, had had some firm instructions for him regarding what he was to do and questions he was not to ask. In any case, he led them down the halls and deposited them just outside one of the few brightly lit rooms, and took himself off without a word. To them, at least; Lin Shu had no illusions that this whole trip would not be fodder for gossip at once, at least within the Eastern Palace.

He nodded to Meng da-ge , who nodded back, nearly grinning, and stepped into the light. “Your Highness? I brought that visitor your Noble Mother mentioned.” Following behind Meng da-ge, Lin Shu could see the tired look that crossed Jingyan’s face, as he folded and set aside one of quite a stack of report folios on the low table before him before pushing himself to his feet, not even looking up yet.

“Very well. Come in.”

“You’ll like this interruption, Your Highness,” Meng da-ge promised, holding out a hand to usher Lin Shu in. He stepped forward with the gesture, refraining from rolling his eyes at Meng da-ge’s obvious glee.

“I suppose it will be a change at least,” Jingyan started to say, but as he looked up, Lin Shu stepped fully into the light, and for a moment it seemed as if time had stopped. Jingyan stood as if frozen, only his widening eyes telling that he knew what he was seeing. Lin Shu took another step forward. “Your Highness…” started to fall from his lips, because he had drilled that habit into himself as deeply as he could. It hadn’t been deep enough, of course; he knew perfectly well, looking back, when Jingyan had known in his heart, if not his head, who Mei Changsu was, and it had been the moment when he’d called Jingyan by his given name. And so, knowing that, he closed his eyes and took another breath, and said, instead, “Jingyan.”

He could see the simple name go through his friend like a sword, and when Jingyan stepped forward it was almost a stumble. “Xiao-Shu?” Another step, and another, faster, and then he had hold of Lin Shu’s shoulders, holding them tight, as if he were truly afraid it was an apparition in front of him. The shock on his face, and the open, breathless hope cracking through Jingyan’s iron reserve shook Lin Shu down to the heart of him, that his mere existence should be the cause of this.

How?” Jingyan breathed, voice breaking for one instant on the word, and Lin Shu’s hands came up in automatic response, to close on his arms.

“Lin Chen.” He shrugged a little, as much as he could under the hard grip of Jingyan’s hands. “He tricked even me, this time.”

A voiceless shade of laughter escaped Jingyan. “He had to trick you into living?”

“Well…” Lin Shu’s breath caught as Jingyan shook him a little.

“Be quiet.” Jingyan closed his eyes for a long moment, head bent down, and finally managed, in something closer to a conversational tone. “Of course he did. But—” he looked Lin Shu up and down, hands working a little on his shoulders, and finally asked, hope fragile in his voice again, “you’re well?”

“I’m well,” and it turned from assurance to promise, in his mouth, pulled from him by the tiny shivers of reaction he could feel running through Jingyan, under his hands. “Lin Chen said at least ten years. Perhaps even as much as twenty.” Jingyan’s hands tightened until he could feel his bones creak, and the open relief that swept Jingyan’s face clean wrenched another promise from him. “I will be with you, here.”

The smile Jingyan gave him then stopped the breath in his throat, so bright for such a faint curve of lips that he could only tighten his hold on Jingyan’s arms and let it be what it was.

Eventually, reluctantly, Jingyan released him, and Lin Shu was grateful because he didn’t think he could have pulled himself away and Meng da-ge was still standing by the entry, positively grinning at them both. Jingyan straightened and gave Meng da-ge a grave nod. “This was a very welcome interruption, High Commander Meng. Thank you.”

“It was my honor, Your Highness.” Meng da-ge gave them a parting bow and strode briskly back down the hall, as if the thanks had been a dismissal.

Lin Shu was starting to suspect that Lady Jing had managed and directed this meeting in far more detail than he’d at first thought she would. And that led him to wonder why she should trouble that much, and to think about how Jingyan had looked at him when he’d stepped into the room, and then he had to stifle a wince. He hadn’t the slightest doubt that his aunt was delighted and grateful for his return, but she was probably upset with him at the same time. He’d done his best to hold his loved ones away from him, when he’d thought he would have no choice but to leave them within months. Jingyan…

Jingyan turned back to him, and if Lin Shu had been the sort to observe the world around him only casually, he might have thought he’d imagined the tiredness hanging so heavy on his friend mere moments ago. There was no sign of it, now. A year ago, he’d thought there was no help for it, had done his best to surround Jingyan with others who could stand behind him and support him, even as he himself withdrew. Now it was painfully clear that those efforts hadn’t been enough.

Well, perhaps he could do something about it, now.

“Come.” Jingyan beckoned him through to the inner room. “Tell me what happened.”

They wound up sitting by his bed while Lin Shu recounted his recovery, and then had to go further back and explain how Lin Chen had made off with his body from the final battlefield, with, from what he’d heard, Meng da-ge’s grief-stricken permission, and then Jingyan asked his perspective on that battle and the cushions wound up serving as placeholders for the army’s regiments while the covers were pressed into service as mountain geography.

Lin Shu wasn’t really surprised when he woke up with his head pillowed on Jingyan’s bed and Jingyan on the floor beside him.

He wasn’t surprised, but he did have to stop and breathe carefully for a while, so as not to wake Jingyan with the burst of grief and hope and pain that memory shook out of him—heart memory and body memory of so many mornings like this. His life had come full circle, in a way, but how much had he lost on the path to return here? He buried his face in the bed, concentrating on keeping his breath even, again.

“Xiao-Shu.” Jingyan’s hand was warm, resting on his head, deep voice still rough with sleep, and Lin Shu made an annoyed sound, not looking up.

“You were supposed to stay asleep.”

“I always woke up, when you did.”

At that, he smiled a little, lifting his head. “Yes. I did, too.”

Jingyan smiled back, more peaceful than Lin Shu had seen him in a very long time. All he said, though, was, “It will be time for food. Come eat.”


Liu An had been as shocked as anyone else, when her mother-in-law had told her, very quietly, who would be visiting her husband in the night. She’d had over a year under Lady Jing’s tutelage, though, and as she prepared for bed, herself, she’d turned the thought of Lin Shu’s return over in her mind, examining the angles of it. She had little doubt that her husband would wish to bring the man into her household, one way or another; she approved of Lin Shu’s support for her husband, and did not object to the idea. But Lin Shu (Su Zhe, as was) had been instrumental in forcing the Emperor to face truths and duties he had not wished to face. If Lin Shu entered the Crown Prince’s household, now, she could not see any way to prevent a very sharp downturn in the Emperor’s already brittle relationship with his current heir.

With that in mind, she brought her son to breakfast with her, a wordless reminder of the dynastic stakes still in play within the Palace.

And, indeed, Lin Shu’s first sight of the boy made him stop in his tracks, but she was fairly sure politics weren’t the cause. The flash of shock that broke his faint smile was unmistakably a personal response. She thought, though, that the tangle of melancholy and thoughtfulness that followed might mean his thoughts turning in the direction she wished.

She was quite sure that the flicker of amusement in his eyes when he greeted her meant he knew exactly what she’d been doing. So she dipped a graceful bow of acknowledgment and waited quietly to see how he would answer her.

They had barely started eating when Lin Shu looked over at her husband and said, “I won’t be able to stay for long, not yet.” Xiao Jingyan’s head came up sharply, and Lin Shu raised a hand, holding his eyes. “That was the deal I made with the Emperor. That Lin Shu would not return to the capital. But to be of the most aid to you, I need to be Lin Shu again.”

“Do you think I care how much aid you can be?” Xiao Jingyan asked, quiet and fierce, and a rueful smile tugged at Lin Shu’s mouth.

“No. But I do.” He met her husband’s dark look with perfect equanimity, and Liu An had to hide a smile. “So, there are two ways to do this: the safe way and the fast way.” He waited for Xiao Jingyan to sit back, arms crossed but not interrupting, and continued. “The safe way is to wait for the Emperor to die, and return then.”

“The Lady Jing believes that will be within the next four or five years,” Liu An put in, softly. “His health was already not the best, and it took a blow, a year ago.”

Lin Shu nodded, and the faint light of approval in the glance he gave her lifted her heart so that she understood, abruptly, how this man might inspire such unending loyalty in the men he led, and why an Emperor might, indeed, fear him greatly.

“Five years, then,” he said, turning back to Xiao Jingyan. “It’s longer than I like, of course, but I could, at least, visit discreetly during that time.”

“And the fast way?” her husband prompted. The sparkle that put in Lin Shu’s eyes made Liu An brace herself.

“Well, I should go south and see Nihuang in any case, at least if I wish to continue living. The fast way is for me to return to her openly, as Lin Shu, and let the Emperor order us to the capital so as to keep us under his eye.”

“The Vice-Marshal of Chiyan and the General of Yunnan, united,” Xiao Jingyan filled in, rather dryly. “Yes, that would likely get very fast results.”

“There’s a certain amount of risk in it.” Lin Shu took a sip of his tea and, for some reason, gave her a look of distinct amusement before turning back to the matter at hand. “He will understand quite well that I’m forcing his hand, and if I then stand openly in support of you, his fear may overcome his good sense. Again.”

Her husband’s face turned set and cold, at that. The reminder of Prince Qi’s fate made Liu An think of something else, though. Of a certain memorial tablet, and what her mother-in-law had never quite admitted to doing, to secure it. “Perhaps,” she said, words falling softly into the quiet between the two men, “that need not be a great concern.” At Lin Shu’s raised brow, she lifted her chin, hands clasped tightly in her lap. “You should consult with the Noble Consort Jing, who often has such influence over him.”

She didn’t think her husband knew what she was saying, but Lin Shu went very still for a long moment before nodding slowly. “A wise suggestion, Lady Liu. My thanks.”

She nodded back, trying not to show the tiny shivers running through her at the enormity of what she’d just said might and should be done. The warmth of her husband’s hand covered hers, though, and the small, quiet smile he gave her slowed the quick beat of her heart again. This was her rightful work and duty, to do all in her power to safeguard her husband and children, and if her husband did not yet know all she intended, still he approved of her joining this effort. Liu An drew a long breath and bent her attention to the plans her husband’s brother in heart was setting out.

 

Three

Mu Nihuang sighed, exasperated, as she sorted through her letters. The Emperor’s tournament for the right to marry her had started a positive flood of ongoing proposals, some subtle and some rather less so. She was starting to recognize some of them by the writing, and those she crumpled and tossed aside unread.

“Is the Qi envoy still bugging you?” Mu Qing asked. “He’s so annoying! I should challenge him, next time we have to host him.”

“Don’t challenge envoys just because they’re annoying me.” Sometimes Mu Nihuang wondered whether she should move her daily work into an office of her own, if only to keep her little brother’s nose a bit further out of her business. The rustle of paper from his table caught her ear and she added, absently, “Read the whole thing, Qing-er.”

He gave her a hang-dog look and pulled back the report of crop plans that he hadn’t spent nearly long enough on to be finished with. Mu Nihuang smiled down at her own table, which had almost certainly been her brother’s goal. He’d gotten more subtle about teasing her, this past year. Perhaps she would move to her own office some year soon, but there were compensations for staying here, for now. She picked up the last letter and almost crumpled that one unread, too; she was almost sure she recognized this writing from somewhere also. But it had no name or seal on it, from the sender, which the diplomatic proposals always did. She frowned at the characters of her own name and title, thoughtfully. Where had she seen this writing before, then?

“It’s almost time for training, my lady,” a soft voice interrupted, and she looked up to see Gong Yu, looking a bit like a shadow in the dark greens she’d worn all year, hovering by the entrance. “Shall I help you change?”

Mu Nihuang’s smile gentled; she was glad the girl had agreed to stay with her, and not only because it was pleasant to have another woman versed in the arts of war to accompany her. Without some kind of task to accomplish, and one she could tell herself would have pleased her Chief, Mu Nihuang thought that Gong Yu might not have survived the year. And she couldn’t deny that it had helped her, too, to have some living piece of Lin Shu’s life to look after. “Yes, just let me see who this last letter is from, and we can go.”

Gong Yu turned white as snow.

“Gong Yu!” Mu Nihuang started to her feet, hand outstretched, wondering if the girl was going to faint.

“That’s the Chief’s writing,” Gong Yu whispered, one hand clutching the frame of the screen beside her, knuckles white. Mu Nihuang felt she might need to hold on to something solid, herself.

“Are you sure?” Her voice rasped in her throat.

Gong Yu hurried across the room and slid to her knees beside Mu Nihuang, eyes fixed on the slip of folded paper, wide and devouring. “Yes. Yes, I’m sure.” She looked up at Mu Nihuang, entreating. “Jie-jie, you know…” Mu Nihuang nodded silently; she knew what it was to recognize something of Lin Shu, to know, at once and without doubt. She took a slow breath and reached out to take Gong Yu’s hand, wondering if her own fingers were as cold as Gong Yu’s.

“Let us see what this is, then, mei-mei.”

Mu Qing had come to hover over her shoulder, anxious, as Mu Nihuang unfolded the letter. Her heart caught as she scanned down the page; if Gong Yu recognized the writing, she recognized the turns of phrase. …truly ridiculous plans… …cannot leave him surrounded by fools… …thought I had better…

“Jie?” Qing-er asked, softly, and she realized there were tears on her cheeks. She wiped them away with a quick palm.

“He’s coming back.” She lifted her head and smiled at Gong Yu, laid a hand over Mu Qing’s, on her shoulder. “I suppose we’d better get ready.” After all, the one thing her betrothed had always brought with him was action—often action that no one else would have dreamed or dared.

It was one of the things she loved in him.


Lin Shu had debated whether it would be best (and even, now he had that luxury, kindest) to send a letter ahead or not. In the end, he’d chosen to write, hoping the shock would be a little less; he had no wish to be mistaken for his own ghost, however briefly. And once he started writing, he’d found himself explaining at some length, writing of his exasperated gratitude to Lin Chen, his concern for how Jingyan could handle the burden Lin Shu had dropped on him, his worry for her. It was when he finished that last, that he had to stop and rest his head in his palms and laugh at himself. He’d spent over ten years winding himself ever deeper into the mindset of a strategist, of a revenger, of one who would do whatever it took to drive a plan through to completion. And where was all that icy focus, now?

Apparently, he’d only ever managed to close Lin Shu up (briefly) in a box that turned out to have the flimsiest of latches.

When he was shown into one of Mu Palace’s inner receiving rooms, he knew he’d been right about that, because he couldn’t make himself turn his eyes away from the hand Nihuang pressed over her lips, the water-brightness of her eyes. The habit of long years still froze him in the entrance until she strode across the room and threw her arms around him, but the warm press of her against him broke that habit and discipline like thin ice snapping in spring, and he caught her close in return, laughing low and helpless into the darkness of her hair until they were nearly giggling together, unstrung by the sudden release of long, long grief and tension.

She balled up a fist and hit him in the shoulder. “You said ten years!” she accused without lifting her head from his chest.

“I was actually right, though I didn’t know it then.” He smiled down at her as her head jerked up and she stared, disbelieving. “Perhaps as many as twenty.” Softer, as her hands closed desperately tight in the fabric of his sleeves, he added, “I will stay as long as I can; you have my word.”

She smiled back, slow and brilliant. “Don’t think I won’t hold you to it.”

“I hope you will.” They finally managed to step back a little, only hands still clasped, and Lin Shu looked up for her brother, wryly aware that he was probably in for some exuberant congratulations and teasing. His attention caught on the completely unexpected presence beside Mu Qing, though, standing with clasped hands and wide, dark eyes. “Gong Yu?”

“She brought me the news, and I convinced her to stay with me.” Nihuang’s smile turned a little wicked, and he automatically braced himself. In the past, that was the look that had accompanied challenges to climb the city walls or race each other across the roofs. “My younger sister’s company has been a great comfort.”

He might, Lin Shu thought distantly, have preferred the roof race to the open gratitude in Gong Yu’s face, quickly replaced by shy hope as she glanced up at him under her lashes. Even in his current condition, it would have been less trouble. “Nihuang…”

“They train together,” Mu Qing supplied, grinning, clearly in on the whole conspiracy. “Gong Yu is the only one of her ladies who can keep up with her, riding.”

That was no small thing, Lin Shu had to admit, but still… “We can discuss that later,” he said, firmly.

Nihuang’s cheerfully unyielding expression made his heart sink a bit. “Yes, we shall.”

He sighed quietly; apparently, he had better start planning for a larger household, in the capital.


Gong Yu had spent her whole life in the jianghu, and a mere year as a palace lady—especially lady to the General of Yunnan—was not nearly enough to wear away the responses she’d absorbed from the time she was big enough to walk on her own. In her bones was the knowledge that Mei Changsu was her Chief, even with a new name and a new, or old, life.

Names were changeable things, in her world, at need.

So when the evening meal ended, and he caught her eye, she followed him out without question, without even glancing at Mu Nihuang. She probably should have looked to her lady, she realized, pacing down the dark walks of the palace behind him, for approval or… or direction? But, then again, perhaps not, if Mu Nihuang meant her for Lin Shu’s concubine. The thought sent a flutter of excitement and hope through her, which she tried to restrain, clasping her hands before her and hoping the chill of the winter night would cool the heat in her cheeks. When her Chief paused, at last, resting fine hands on the rail of the palace’s smaller water pavilion, she stood quietly at his shoulder, waiting for orders and hoping, deep in her heart, for acceptance.

“Nihuang has already fallen prey, once, to the politics of the Inner Palace.” His words fell into the evening quiet like petals falling onto the water. “The thought of someone beside her to watch her back does set me at ease.”

“My lady has a very ardent heart, and does not always guard herself,” she agreed, cautious. It was clearly something he already knew, but the heart was not always sensible. She had no wish to sound jealous, especially of the one who had been so good to her, a goodness she had almost forgotten the taste of over the years of pursuing her revenge.

“You must know that I do not love you.” He did not look at her, so she dared to look up and watch his face, still in the faint glow of lamps across the water. “Do you wish this, even so?”

His bluntness stole her breath like a blow, and yet… he was not denying her. “If I can continue to serve you, I will be satisfied.”

His hand snapped up and caught her chin, not cruelly but very firmly, and dark eyes bored into hers. “Do not ever lie to me,” he said, very softly.

Gong Yu swallowed, heart beating fast, not daring to move, in his hold. “It is not all I wish,” she admitted, voice a little ragged with nerves, “but it’s not a lie! Yes, I would wish you to… to look on me kindly, but if I can still serve you, I will be satisfied! And Nihuang jie-jie… she’s sheltered me. She found a place for me. I would willingly live under her, and guard her from her enemies.”

For a long moment, he only examined her, searchingly, but at last he granted her a slow nod and let her go. “Very well, then. You should know, I have never stood in the way of what my people wish to do—only used those wishes. If that will truly content you…” his hand lifted to rest lightly on her head, “then I will accept you into my house.”

She bent her head, shaking, by now, hard enough that he could probably feel it. “It will content me, my lord,” she whispered. He sighed, quietly, and patted her head, gentle and absent.

“Very well, then. Let us go in and speak to Nihuang.”

She was still shaking a little, when they came to Mu Nihuang’s outer rooms, and when she gave them both a look of rather smug satisfaction and held out an arm, Gong Yu was more than willing to hurry over and bury her wildly vacillating mix of triumph and shock and hope and fear in Nihuang jie-jie’s shoulder. Nihuang jie-jie gathered her in and stroked her hair gently. “There, mei-mei, don’t worry. You get used to him, in time, and I’ll protect you.” Gong Yu couldn’t help the tiny sound that jerked out of her, half giggle and half protesting gasp.

“I beg your pardon.” He sounded amused, though.

“Just like I used to protect Yujin,” Nihuang jie-jie continued, clearly teasing, and Gong Yu started to relax against her side.

“I don’t recall you ever protecting Yujin,” Lin Shu pointed out, robes rustling as he seated himself on the riser beside them. “It was Jingrui that Yujin always hid behind, which was very wise of him.” He was smiling when she dared to look up from Nihuang jie-jie’s shoulder, wry and affectionate, and when his glance fell on her, curled in the circle of Nihuang jie-jie’s arm, it was gentler than before. “Well. How shall we do this, then?”

Mu Nihuang’s smile turned a little vicious and a little dreamy, and Gong Yu perked up to listen. She recognized that kind of look; she saw it often, in her own world. “Perhaps we can write to the Emperor asking his blessing, since he was so very concerned with my marriage prospects, recently.”

Lin Shu’s smile nearly matched hers. “Or perhaps Mu Qing should write to notify him, since it’s technically Mu Qing’s blessing you want, now. I’m sure he’d write very enthusiastically of my unforeseen return from ‘exile’.”

Nihuang jie-jie laughed out loud. “Oh, I like that!” She sobered again quickly, though. “Shu ge-ge… how much of Jingyan’s position will we risk, provoking the Emperor that way?”

“We run a risk now in order to reduce it later.” He turned a hand palm up. “And, too, I have Lady Jing’s assurance that the risk can be… minimized.”

“The Emperor never struck me as that susceptible to his Consorts,” Mu Nihuang said skeptically.

“No. I believe she intends to take more direct action; she’s a physician, after all, and knows very well what would calm him.” His eyes narrowed, thoughtful. “In fact, it’s quite possible she’s already taken direct action and merely needs to modify what she’s already doing.”

Gong Yu was, frankly, impressed. She’d never thought noble ladies could be so iron-nerved and dare such consequences as would come from drugging the Emperor. Nihuang jie-jie shivered, though, perhaps remembering her own close call, and Gong Yu wrapped a shy arm around her, nestling closer. Jie-jie didn’t need to worry about that, not while she was here. Nihuang jie-jie gave her a quick smile and dropped a light kiss on her hair. “All right, then. Let us hold the banquet on the next suitable date, and send the letter.”

Lin Shu’s smile at Mu Nihuang made Gong Yu catch her breath, so soft, and a little wondering. “I never thought this would be possible, you know.”

“It was never yourself you made wonders possible for.” Nihuang jie-jie reached out a hand to him. “But now it can be.” The simple clasp of their hands made Gong Yu blush to watch.

Yes. She thought she could be content with this.


Chief Eunuch Gao Zhan had lived quite a long time in the Palace, and knew its moods. He knew the hushing of everyday sounds that meant the ministers would spend the day glancing nervously at each other, watching for where trouble or change might come from. He knew the sharpening of the palace ladies’ graceful gestures that meant the balance of power had shifted, in the Inner Palace. He knew the sweetening in the air that meant everyone was thinking of the new year celebrations. All those shifting moods focused on or stemmed from the Emperor, which made many people think they were caused by the Emperor. Gao Zhan, however, had served the Emperor himself long enough to understand that, far from weaving all the threads of the Palace’s fabric himself, the Emperor was as enmeshed in them as anyone else, influenced by his ministers, his family, even the shadow of his parents.

And, of course, by the officials like Gao Zhan.

Gao Zhan had been a young man, working his way up the hierarchy of the imperial messengers, when he’d first seen those threads pull tight and start to snap, yanked in two different directions—one the old Emperor, pulling toward governance and empire by brute force, the other the then-Crown Prince, pulling toward policies of strategy and diplomacy. He’d watched the fabric of the Court tear, then, taking with it the life of the Emperor, the guiding hand of the Dowager Empress, and the soul of Xia Jiang. He’d seen how long it took to reweave even a little of the fabric’s sturdiness. And he had seen how the smallest word of comfort to the new Empress’ ladies, or a calm smile to a nervous minister could help.

It was those small words and smiles that had made him Chief Eunuch by the time he was forty.

The second time he’d seen the threads of the Court fabric pull dangerously tight, he’d been new to his position as the one who watched over and minded the Emperor, and perhaps he’d been too cautious with his words, his smiles, his gentle nudging of the Emperor toward one concubine or another. Or perhaps there had simply been no help for it, whatever he’d done. The only one gripping and tangling the threads, then, had been the Emperor, afraid of his own reflection in the mirror of his mind, but they’d snapped all the same.

Gao Zhan had still been at work patching that tear when he’d heard yet another shift in the mood of the Palace, heard the name Su Zhe whispering down the halls like the scent of plum blossoms through winter air. When that name had flared to life, in the Capital, like fire reaching down the threads of the Princes’ rivalries, Gao Zhan had braced himself to preserve what he could, attempting again and again to calm and amuse the Emperor with the stable, everyday foibles of Palace life.

To little effect.

When Prince Jing had seemed to finally lose patience with the resulting tangle, himself, and reached out to lay his hand on the threads of the Court’s fabric, Gao Zhan had blessed the chance and willingly steered the Emperor into Lady Jing’s arms. She was another who understood the power of a gentle word and a calm smile.

In retrospect, he could only salute the Lady; the fabrics she wove from the threads of the Court ran soft and subtle and untorn from end to long end. Which was why, after the crisis had passed, he had come at once when she requested his presence.

“Gao gong-gong,” she’d greeted him, serene as a lily pond, and extracted a small, black bottle from her sleeve, setting it on the table between them without so much as a click, as she spoke. “I believe you know how harshly the Emperor has used his own heart and health over the years. Before any others, the palace officials must be aware of how his care for the Court and the Princes must wear on him.” She’d looked up at him, dark eyes as deep and inexorable as the sea. “I know you must surely wish to ease his way. I beg that you will let me know if there is any way I can assist His Majesty.”

In her words, he’d heard a promise—the promise of an Emperor to come, who would not rip the fabric of the Palace over and over, in his care for nothing but playing one Prince, one faction, against another. The promise of an Emperor who was, in so many ways, already there, doing the work of a ruler with an iron integrity Gao Zhan had not seen through the reigns of two Emperors before him.

So he’d taken the bottle with him, when he’d left, and measured a careful three drops into the Emperor’s tea every morning, and he’d watched the sharpness leach out of the Emperor’s eyes with regret. But not enough regret to throw away that little black bottle. Not when it had been months since the Emperor’s temper last exploded, longer than that since he’d done more than nod upon reading one of the Crown Prince’s meticulous weekly reports, or wave a dismissive hand over Princess Nihuang continuing to lead the southern army in the field. Gao Zhan had begun to hope this Emperor might even manage to die in bed, instead of at his desk, of heart failure.

…though today’s letters looked like they might set that hope back a bit.

Gao Zhan stepped cautiously closer, watching the Emperor’s face twist and redden as his eyes sped down the paper. “Majesty? Is anything—”

“Yunnan?!” the Emperor exploded, fist clenching on the letter. “I tell the damn boy he can’t return to the capital, so he goes to Yunnan instead?! To get married?!” He banged the desk furiously with his free hand, waving the letter in Gao Zhan’s direction while Gao Zhan patted the air with both hands, trying to get a word in edgewise. “Does he think I’m a fool? Does he think I’ll let this stand?”

“Majesty,” Gao Zhan put in in his most soothing voice, “who is this from?”

Lin Shu!” the Emperor raged, pounding the desk again. “Back from exile, Mu Qing says! Sister delighted, he says! The Vice-Marshal of Chiyan and the General of Yunnan both on the south border in the Mu princedom? I won’t have it!”

“Then surely all Your Majesty need do is order Lin Shu elsewhere,” Gao Zhan said reasonably, hoping that Lady Jing’s drug would take hold again soon enough for reason to actually work. “As the Lin family is exonerated, Lin Shu is legitimately under your command. And if the Princess has finally married him, then she is bound to go with him.”

“I wouldn’t trust the pair of them anywhere!”

Gao Zhan sighed to himself, seeing exactly how this was to go, and in his mind he offered Lin Shu a rather weary salute; the man did plan well. There seemed to be no way around it, so he obediently laid out the next move. “Perhaps the best place is under your own eye, then, Majesty,” he ‘jested’ with a small chuckle.

“Ha! That’s probably exactly what he wants!”

“Then surely he will give you no trouble?” Gao Zhan suggested, watching closely, and nearly sagged with relief when he saw the fire in the Emperor’s eyes begin to dim, losing the struggle against the soft haze of Lady Jing’s drugs. “Surely you’ll feel better with them here under your eye,” he repeated, gently.

“Mm. I suppose.” The Emperor leaned back wearily in his throne, and waved a hand at him. “See to it. Lin Shu and Mu Nihuang are commanded to present themselves before their Emperor…” he rattled off the language of an official order, seeming to lose interest even as he did, and regret nipped at Gao Zhan. Relief was still stronger, though, watching that alarming red fade to a healthier color. Gao Zhan smoothly tweaked the offending letter off the desk and into his sleeve, and bowed.

“I will see to it, Majesty.”


Jingyan had just presented his weekly report on the affairs of court and the Ministries to the Emperor, wondering as always whether his father’s wordless grunt as he glanced over it was approval or pique, when the announcement was called from the door, the one something at the base of his spine had been waiting months for.

“Vice-Marshal Lin Shu and Princess Mu Nihuang request permission to enter the Emperor’s presence!”

The Emperor snapped the report folio closed and tossed it aside on his desk. “About time. Bring them in.”

Xiao-Shu swept through the room’s pillars, Nihuang at his side. He’d laid aside “Su Zhe’s” muted colors, and looked so very familiar, in brilliantly embroidered white over rich, dark blue, that Jingyan couldn’t keep his fingers from curling into fists, as if he could physically grab hold of this new-and-familiar Lin Shu and keep him. Mu Nihuang held her head high, matching his stride, hair swept all the way up for the first time Jingyan had ever seen, and her smile was as fiercely delighted as Jingyan felt. He tried to catch his breath, and calm, as they knelt and bowed to the Emperor, only to have it stolen again by the direct look, straight as a sword, that xiao-Shu gave the Emperor as he straightened.

“You called for our attendance at the Capital, Majesty?”

The Emperor considered them for a long moment and finally shook a finger at Nihuang. “Finally found someone you’ll deign to marry, hm?”

Nihuang gave him the sharpest smile Jingyan had ever seen out of her, and another short bow. “The one promised to me, yes. Thank you for your concern, Majesty.”

The Emperor snorted and eyed xiao-Shu in turn. “Fine, then. You might as well be useful. So you can keep him,” he jabbed his finger at Jingyan, “from upsetting all the diplomatic channels I spent so much trouble creating. That should keep you busy.”

Jingyan didn’t think he was that bad at it, but the thought slipped away when his friend, his brother, turned his head and gave Jingyan Mei Changsu’s tiny smile with Lin Shu’s fire blazing in his eyes. “As my Emperor wishes,” he stated, never looking away. Jingyan couldn’t manage to look away either, and it was to Lin Shu that he spoke when he said, “I will be grateful for the assistance.” And then common sense gave him a jolt and he turned hastily to give his father the bow that went with the words.

The Emperor leaned back with a tetchy sound. “The two of you make me tired. Go away.”

Gao Zhan stepped smartly forward. “His Imperial Majesty’s audience is ended!” he announced, and flicked urgent fingers at Jingyan. Jingyan took the direction, as his mother had firmly instructed him to always do, and bowed along with xiao-Shu and Nihuang, backing two formal steps before making for the doors. They only made it as far as the stairs before they all three stopped and stared at each other.

“You did it.” Jingyan still couldn’t believe it had been this easy.

“I always do. Pay attention, Jingyan.” Xiao-Shu kept a mostly straight face until Nihuang swatted his shoulder, and then he was laughing, soft and bright, throwing an arm around her and leaning against Jingyan for balance as she elbowed him, and Jingyan found his own arms around their shoulders, all three of them ignoring the raised brows of the Palace guards, laughing together in the slanting sunlight.

The leaf buds were barely starting to unfurl, here in the Capital, but it finally felt like summer in his heart, again.

End

A Language of Daisies

Yamasugata-senpai clapped her hands briskly. “All right, everyone! This is the first run-through without scripts, so you can call for a line of you need it, but try to keep the momentum of the scene going.”

Takuto slumped down on the stool that was currently being a ‘roof railing’. His cheeks felt hot, and he was pretty sure he was blushing. “Do we really have to do this?”

Standing beside him on the raised ‘stage’, Sugata turned his palms up helplessly, mouth quirked. “The majority of the club voted to include the scene.”

“Maybe we could vote again…” Takuto looked over at Wako, currently playing audience, but she just gave him a cheerful, encouraging thumbs up. There was no hope of reprieve there. He sighed.

“It isn’t that bad,” Sugata told him, clearly amused. “At least you don’t have to play the bad guy.”

Takuto grinned up at him. “You’re too good at it, is the problem.” And then he nearly bit his tongue as Sugata’s eyes darkened for a moment. None of them liked remembering that they’d believed, even for a handful of minutes, that Sugata had really chosen Samekh’s power over Wako’s safety. “Sugata…”

Sugata straightened. “It’s fine. Ready to run through this?”

Takuto hesitated, wanting to reassure his friend, but one thing he had learned was that Sugata just closed up if you pressed him. So he nodded instead. “Sure!”

Sugata stepped back to the other side of the stage and Yamasugata-senpai folded the master script open to the Scene Of Doom, pencil poised. “Okay, take it from F’s entry.”

Sugata closed his eyes and breathed out slowly. When he got to the bottom of the breath, his eyes snapped open, suddenly sharp and sardonic as he stepped through a currently imaginary doorway onto the imaginary roof this scene called for. An equally imaginary cloak was nearly visible, falling from shoulders that suddenly looked straighter and broader. Takuto had to shake himself out of his fascination to lean against his stool as though it were a rail; no matter how many times he saw Sugata enter a character, it never stopped being amazing.

“I thought I might find you here,” Sugata said, low but carrying, and that was another really cool trick, and Takuto had a line didn’t he? Right.

Takuto lifted his chin and tried to think like a prophesied savior with a mystical world destroyer for a best friend… stalker… thing. “We need to settle this. And I don’t want anyone else involved.”

Sugata’s smile was really kind of alarming, and Takuto had no trouble pressing back against the stool/railing as he paced closer. “The whole world is involved already.”

“They shouldn’t be!” Takuto pushed himself off the stool in a rush of conviction. Now his character was starting to come together. This was familiar enough, the knowledge of power and the need to use it well, use it to protect.

And then he squeaked as Sugata took one more long stride and pressed him back against the wall. That was okay, it was totally in character for K to be a little freaked out. There was one swift flash of wry sympathy in Sugata’s eyes before he blinked and was back in character. Takuto swallowed, eyes widening as Sugata’s fingers caught his chin and lifted it.

“We are the future of the world.” Sugata’s words filled the space, low and intimate. “What do you wish to make of it?” His thumb stroked over Takuto’s lips slowly and Takuto felt his whole face flush hot.

“I… um… The… The world…” Takuto’s hands scrabbled at the wall behind him as Sugata leaned closer. “Help…?” he finished, strangled.

The corners of Sugata’s mouth quivered as he looked at Takuto. One breath, and then two, and he finally lost it, dissolving into helpless laughter.

“Takuto-sama!” Yamasugata-senpai scolded. “If you forget your part, the word is ‘line’, not ‘help’!”

Sugata buried his head in his arm, leaning against the wall, shoulders shaking with stifled laughter. Takuto cleared his throat. “Line?” he asked, meekly. He was probably as red as his hair, he reflected ruefully.

“‘The world will make itself; we have no right to interfere.'” Yamasugata-senpai read from the script, and gave Sugata a stern look. “Botchan!”

“Sorry, sorry.” Sugata straightened up, wiping his eyes. He looked down at Takuto, slumped against the wall in embarrassment, and smiled the way he did when Takuto and Wako argued over breakfast in the mornings. Takuto smiled up at him, lopsided, and shrugged. He knew his classmates all thought it was funny how flustered he got over romantic stuff, even after a year of regularly being teased by Watanabe Kanako. Sugata shook his head and murmured, “Takuto,” amused and affectionate.

And, as easily as he smiled, he tipped Takuto’s chin up and leaned in and kissed him.

Takuto was aware of someone squeaking, but he didn’t think it was him this time. Because this wasn’t alarming; this was just… Sugata. Gentle and friendly and a little amused with him. When Sugata drew back, Takuto closed a hand on his arm and looked back at him, steady and smiling; he’d never thought to do it this way, but he figured he’d just managed to reassure Sugata after all.

The both jumped a little when Yamasugata-senpai slapped her script into her palm. “That was nice, but not quite the feel we need for this scene. Try it again from the top.”

Takuto thought about Sugata leaning over him again with that predatory, in-character look in his eyes, and turned around to bang his head against the wall a few times with a faint moan. Why had he thought it was a good idea to stay in the drama club for a second year? There was a laugh running under Sugata’s voice again as he suggested, “Why don’t we let this scene go for today? We can try it again tomorrow, when everyone is a little calmer.”

Wako and Sugatame both made disappointed sounds and Takuto whimpered. He was going to die of embarrassment before they even got to dress rehearsal.


“I think there’s only one thing to do,” Sugata said, as he and Takuto and Wako walked home. “We’re going to have to practice.”

“Practice?” Wako and Takuto squeaked together, and Sugata very clearly choked back a laugh.

“If we run through it without the actual lines, without trying to be very in character,” he pointed out, once he’d gotten himself back under control, “Takuto will have a chance to get used to the idea.”

Takuto took a deep breath. These were his high school years, and he was going to make the most of them! That included clubs and dares and doing crazy things. Surely this wouldn’t be any more crazy than driving Tauburn, right?

Right.

“Okay,” he agreed, sturdily. “We’ll practice.” His resolution wilted a little in face of Wako’s pink cheeks and rather starry eyes. “Without an audience?”

Wako pouted at them, but Takuto was pretty sure it was just for show. “Oh all right, fine. I won’t come by until breakfast.” As they approached her turn-off, though, she grinned. “Since I can’t watch, though…” She spun around in front of them and leaned up to kiss first Sugata and then Takuto, soft but not quick, on the lips. “There!” She ran down the path to her shrine, laughing.

Takuto stared after her, still feeling the pressure of her hands on his shoulders, and touched his fingertips to his mouth. The kisses they’d tried before now had been a lot shyer than that. Maybe Wako wanted… He didn’t move until Sugata cleared his throat.

“Well.” Sugata, when Takuto looked, was a little pink himself. “Let’s see if there’s a room we can lock Tiger and Jaguar out of, yes?”

Recalled to the practical, Takuto grinned. “And maybe one without windows, either.”

It could be worse. At least he was still boarding with Sugata; they could be trying to find practice space in the dorm instead. He followed Sugata down the road, shuddering at the mental image of Shinada-senpai walking in on them, and fervently counting his blessings.


“All right, F crosses slowly to K with slightly menacing banter, and pins K against the wall.” Sugata suited action to words, crossing the lamp-lit library, and Takuto could feel himself turning red again.

“Are we sure the door’s locked?” he asked, craning his head to see around the bookcase beside him.

“Very sure.” Sugata smiled. “I don’t really think I want those two taking pictures of this for the family album.”

Takuto took a deep breath. “Okay. So. F pins K against the wall. And, um.” He swallowed as Sugata’s hand came up to catch his chin. “Yeah, that.”

“By the way, did I hear you and Kate trading weekend shifts, in class today?” Sugata asked quite casually. Takuto blinked at him.

“Oh. Yeah, she said she wanted Saturday off, so I said I’d switch shifts with her. I guess she wants to go shoppi—mph!” He caught at Sugata’s shoulders, startled by the sudden kiss. When Sugata let him go and gave him a mischievous smile, he had to laugh. “I don’t think that’s quite the feel Yamasugata-senpai wants for the scene either.”

“No, but you didn’t panic,” Sugata pointed out. “Again?”

Takuto leaned back against the wall, starting to relax. This was a challenge; he knew what to do with that. “Yeah, again.”

Sugata crossed the room again, and while Takuto still felt a tingle of nervous heat when Sugata braced an arm on the wall over his head, he didn’t freeze. Not even when Sugata ran a thumb over his mouth. “Okay, K’s line about how the world will make itself,” he said, only a little husky.

Sugata nodded and gave F’s next line, though without any particular expression. “We are the world’s hands for its making. Someone must choose.” He leaned in and kissed Takuto, light and gentle but taking his time. “What is your wish?”

Takuto, distracted by a tickle of thought at the back of his head, frowned. “Um. It’s… It’s… oh hell.”

Sugata chuckled. “Jaguar would remind you to say ‘line’. ‘I choose to keep trying.'”

“Right.” Takuto frowned some more. There was something… “Tauburn?” he murmured.

Sugata stiffened, pushing away from the wall to stand straight and poised. “Takuto? What is it?”

Takuto waved his hands hastily. “No, no, it’s nothing. It’s just… a thought. I wondered if…” He frowned some more; there weren’t even words to the hint of an idea. Just a feeling. Finally he looked up, decided. “Sugata, kiss me in character.”

Sugata’s brows quirked. “You’re sure?” At Takuto’s firm nod, he shrugged and took a step back, looking down. When he looked up, he had F’s knowing smile on his face, and F’s sure confidence as he stepped forward again and caught Takuto’s wrist to press him back against the wall. “Someone must choose,” he said, voice deep and quiet, and lifted Takuto’s chin to take his mouth.

A quick shiver of heat and alarm poured down Takuto’s spine, and this time he listened to it. There were other feelings in it. Desire. Sorrow. Yearning. Anger. They sent him pressing back against Sugata’s mouth, free hand winding into Sugata’s shirt.

“What is your wish?” Sugata asked softly, coaxing and taunting.

“All,” Takuto whispered, ignoring the script to put words to the faint echo of feelings in his chest. He stared at Sugata barely seeing him. “I will save all of them. Even you!”

Sugata pulled back again, frowning. “Takuto?”

“I think it really is Tauburn,” Takuto said softly, closing his eyes for a moment. “When you’re in character, and we do this scene… it makes me remember things. Things he felt.” He opened his eyes and looked steadily at Sugata. “About Samekh.”

For a moment he wasn’t sure Sugata was breathing, he was so still. But finally, he shook himself and crossed his arms, eyes dark. “Tauburn wanted to save Samekh?”

Takuto pressed a hand to his chest. “My enemy,” he said softly. “My king. My friend. That’s what it feels like.”

After a moment, Sugata snorted. “The two of you are a matched pair, all right.” He pulled a chair out from under the room’s desk and slung a leg over it, arms folded across the back. “Will this help with the scene, though? If you use Tauburn’s memories, that will make it more real to you, I think.”

Takuto’s mouth quirked wryly and he perched on the wheeled stairs against the nearest bookcases. “Isn’t that what we want? I mean, real without me flailing and forgetting my lines?”

Sugata looked up at him, thoughtful. “Is that what you want?”

A real kiss, Takuto thought he meant, and his cheeks went a little hot again. “When you kissed me during rehearsal today,” he said quietly, “that was real; real for us.”

Sugata’s eyes softened with surprise. “Takuto.”

Takuto smiled, running a hand through his hair. “We agreed, didn’t we? That Wako didn’t have to choose. And neither do we. So.” He took a breath and hopped off the stairs and came to lean over Sugata. He brushed his fingers over Sugata’s cheek to steady both of them, and kissed him, soft and warm. “That’s real,” he said, standing up. “Right? The scene. F. Whatever memories fit with that. Those are acting.”

Sugata was staring up at him, looking thoroughly startled. “Takuto.” After a long moment, he smiled, slow and hesitant. “Yes. That was real,” he agreed quietly.

“So we know the difference,” Takuto said, more confident now. “Let’s do the scene one more time. I think I’ve got it, now!”

Sugata laughed softly. “I wouldn’t be at all surprised.”


One week from dress rehearsal, the play was going much better. At least Takuto thought so.

Sugata stalked across the drama club’s rehearsal space, gaze fixed heavy and dark on Takuto. “The world is already involved.”

Takuto raised his chin and clenched his fists, even backed up against the ‘rail’ as he was. “They shouldn’t be!” His breath caught as Sugata closed the last stride and pinned him against the wall, and he let the faint impressions of Tauburn’s memories brace his shoulders stiffly. This was the one he was devoted to. This was the one he must, at all costs, defeat. The tension of the two pulled his brows tight as he looked up at Sugata.

“We are the future of the world,” Sugata told him, low and intent as if he hadn’t even heard, catching Takuto’s chin. “What do you wish to make of it?”

“The world will make itself,” Takuto answered, husky with the pull of Sugata’s presence so close but half pleading for Sugata to hear him across the distance that separated them. “We have no right to interfere!”

Sugata’s thumb stroked over his lips, coaxing them apart, and Takuto swallowed hard. “We are the world’s hands for its making. Someone must choose.” He smiled, as if he knew perfectly well how torn Takuto was, and leaned in to kiss him. Slowly. There were whistles from the audience. “What is your wish?” he asked against Takuto’s mouth.

Takuto closed his hands tight on Sugata’s shoulders, shutting his eyes for a long moment. When he spoke, his voice was soft and sure. “If I have to choose, I choose you.” He opened his eyes and smiled, wryly, at the flash of Sugata’s own startlement through his character. “The world will take care of itself. What we can save is right in front of us, right now. That’s what’s important.” He pushed Sugata back and straightened, matching his own determination with the echo of Tauburn’s. “The thing I choose to save… is you.”

Yamasugata-senpai threw up her hands, sending her pencil flying to clatter against the wall. “Takuto-sama! That’s the third time we’ve rehearsed this scene, and you’ve answered a different way every single time!” She glared over her glasses at him. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were just trying to get more kisses.”

Wako and Sugatame both turned pink and clung together in their folding chairs, squeaking.

Takuto looked over Sugata’s shoulder apologetically. “It’s just… a moment that needs to speak from the heart. Don’t you think?”

“All the lines have fitted in,” Sugata added, looking around. “Can’t we just pencil that in as an ad lib? It seems to be working.”

Yamasugata-senpai sighed and went to fetch her pencil. “All right, but you’d better not freeze during the performance, Takuto-sama!”

Takuto nodded firmly, confident. “I won’t.”

“All right.” She scribbled in the master script with an air of finality. “Let’s go on to the fight scene, then. And this time, be sure you don’t break anything, you two! This isn’t the dojo!”

Sugatame fetched out the prop swords and Wako ran to her entrance mark, so that she, as the spirit of F’s sister, could narrate the ending. Takuto took a few breaths, preparing for the fight scene. Staged or not, Sugata never went easy on him when they had swords in their hands. That was okay, though. He figured three not-real kisses made pretty good compensation. He caught Sugata’s eye and shared a grin.

Maybe he could get a real one later. Maybe this time, Wako would be there to share it.

End

A/N: For those who have not guessed already, the play the club is putting on is based on CLAMP’s X. I propose that Tiger is a fan, and totally lost her patience and wrote an ending for it, and Jaguar figured it was a sure-thing winner when modified to script form (not least because Wako would be certain to vote for the kiss scene).

Basically Three

Wako leaned her elbows on the sill of one of the school’s wide windows and stared out over the dusty courtyard between the classrooms and the dormitory. Normally she’d be spending lunch with Ruri, or maybe Sugata and Takuto. Ever since Watanabe-san had dropped her little surprise on them, though, Wako had been avoiding all three of them a little, so here she was in one of the quiet back hallways instead. Thinking.

She’d known practically all her life what a miko was; she lived at a shrine, after all. She’d spent most of her life also knowing that she was a slightly different kind of miko—her “kami” were a bunch of machine-creatures, and just possibly aliens. But that hadn’t changed the basics. The old basics. She protected and purified and interpreted for those who didn’t have such a strong ear for their local kami-robots. And she was marked. She was given to her kami, and forbidden from giving herself to anyone else. That was just how it worked.

Only apparently it didn’t. The cybodies, according to every piece of data Kate had dragged out of Okamoto-sensei, weren’t jealous of their mikos the way kami were supposed to be. If the miko drivers wanted to take human lovers, there was nothing stopping them. The morning after Kate had come back, dazed, to tell her it seemed true, Wako had spent her morning ritual meditating on all the memories of Wauna she still held in her heart. It felt true; at least, the only memory of anything resembling jealousy was in the faint, confusing memories of Samekh’s nature and purpose, and Wako didn’t think purity, ritual or otherwise, would matter at all to the consuming hunger of Samekh.

All of which meant that Ruri’s teasing about choosing either Sugata or Takuto had a new point on it.

It was a painful point, because Wako understood, with the clarity that believing you or someone you loved was about to die brought on, that she loved them both. Very much. And that they might just both love her back. How was she supposed to choose? She folded her arms on the sun-warmed metal of the sill and buried her head in them with a sigh. It seemed as though, whatever happened, and whoever finally broke the triangle, someone was going to have to be hurt. She hated that.

Voices drifted up, indistinct, from the courtyard below and Wako glanced up. Students weren’t really supposed to go back to the dormitory during school hours, when there wouldn’t be any school officers to supervise.

It was Shinada-senpai down in the courtyard, though, and Wako supposed wryly that the residential advisor was allowed. She was less sure about Honda-senpai and Gouda-senpai, who were both with her. Wako doubted anyone would say anything, though. Those three had been inseparable since middle school. She remembered them, a little, from back then, and they’d still all been together when she’d caught up again in high school.

Why couldn’t she and Sugata and Takuto be like that?

Wako stifled a groan at the thought. Was that what they’d have to do, to stay together? Not let anything be romantic or… or anything, between them at all? Because, for all Shinada-senpai teased their schoolmates sometimes, none of those three had ever dated anyone. Certainly not each other. Wako jammed her chin on her folded arms, glum, and watched while Gouda-senpai explained something vigorously to the other two, hands shaping and slashing the air. Honda-senpai seemed skeptical about whatever it was, arms folded firmly over his broad chest as he leaned back against one of the courtyard trees. Shinada-senpai was listening, though, head cocked, hands on her hips. She lifted one hand to wave in a circle at the three of them, asking something, and Gouda-senpai nodded sharply.

Wako wondered what they were talking about. She could hear a little of their voices from up here, but no words. They seemed pretty intense about it, though, and the thought niggled at the back of her mind that Kate had identified these three as the ones who’d kidnapped her earlier this year. Surely they weren’t planning anything else like that, though…

Her thoughts broke off and her eyes widened as Gouda-senpai gestured briskly at Honda-senpai, as if waving Shinada-senpai toward him. She could see Honda-senpai stiffen against his tree, even from here, and there was a smile on Shinada-senpai’s red lips as she went and rested her hands against his chest. Wako thought she asked him something.

After a frozen moment, slowly, Honda-senpai nodded.

Shinada-senpai leaned against him, standing on her toes to wind her arms around his neck, and Wako clapped a hand over her mouth to stifle a squeak as they kissed. Gouda-senpai was just standing there, arms crossed, every line of him looking… vindicated maybe? Had he stepped aside, the way Sugata had tried to when he still thought he was going to die? Wako chewed on her lip, eyes clinging to the three of them even though she knew this was private and she shouldn’t be watching. If these three could make it work, somehow, and still be friends then maybe…

Her eyes stretched wider when Gouda-senpai strolled up to Honda-senpai and Shinada-senpai, and clapped a hand on Honda-senpai’s shoulder. She could see the flash of his teeth, as he grinned, from two floors up. Shinada-senpai hooked her hand around the back of his neck, and he smirked as he leaned down to kiss her too.

When he drew back, Wako caught Shinada-senpai’s expression for just a moment, and it was full of fierce satisfaction.

Gouda-senpai cocked his head up at Honda-senpai, thin mouth tilted in a wry smile as he asked something. Wako thought Honda-senpai was a little redder than usual, but he nodded just a little and leaned in to meet the light kiss Gouda-senpai offered.

Wako spun away from the window so she could put her back to the wall beside it. She was breathing fast and light, above the hand still pressed to her mouth. Three of them. All three of them. Not just Shinada-senpai with both the boys. In fact, it had looked like Gouda-senpai’s idea, to be with Honda-senpai too!

Wako peeked back out the window. The three of them had settled against each other under that tree. Shinada-senpai was snuggled into Honda-senpai’s chest, fingers fisted tight in Gouda-senpai’s uniform jacket as she held him close. Gouda-senpai had his arm around her as he rested against Honda-senpai’s shoulder, eyes closed. Honda-senpai had wrapped his arms around them both and turned his head to press his lips to the wild brush of Gouda-senpai’s hair.

The sight of them like that made Wako’s chest ache. She wanted that, she knew, abrupt and sure. She wanted that for herself, with Takuto and Sugata. She wanted it for Takuto and Sugata. She wanted it to work, without anyone having to make the faces both boys had made when they talked about visiting her after she married the other one!

She slid down to sit against the wall, knees pulled up so she could rest her forehead on them. Could it happen? Could it work? The boys were important to each other, she knew that. Takuto had been just as determined to get Sugata back as she had been. Sugata had trusted Takuto with her happiness. They’d saved each other, more than once. Could it work?

In the silence of the hall, she whispered out loud, maybe to the cybodies she’d served for so long or maybe just to fate, “Please let it work.”


Sugata eyed Wako down the length of the table as she prodded at her fruit salad with a fork. All of them who had grown up together made jokes about Wako’s appetite, but the truth really was that if Wako didn’t want to eat, something was very wrong.

“Wako?” Takuto asked, looking across the table at her, forkful of omelet poised but suddenly ignored. “Everything okay?”

Sugata hid a wry smile in his napkin. He was the one who noticed first, but Takuto was the one who would come right out and ask first. It was their relationship to Wako in a nutshell.

Expecting Wako to say it was nothing, he was startled when what she actually said was, “It’s just… Well.” She fidgeted with her napkin, not looking at either of them. “You know how Ruri teases me about you two?”

Sugata did indeed know, and had to repeatedly stifle the urge to strangle the girl for pushing things when, honestly, he would be perfectly happy if Wako took her time making that decision. “Did she say something that upset you?” he asked quietly.

“It’s not… it’s just…” Wako put her fork down with a sharp tap and looked up at them, one after another. Her eyes were bright and her mouth was in a determined line. “I don’t want to make that choice.”

Sugata sat back with a soft sigh. She’d decided on neither, then. He supposed, this way, it meant neither he nor Takuto would be closed out. Even if neither of them really got what he wanted either. “If that’s what you want, of course.”

“Wait,” Takuto said slowly, looking back and forth between them. “Wako said… that choice. Is there something else you want to do?” he asked her softly, hopefully.

Wako was folding and unfolding her hands, now, but her eyes were still steady. “Yes. I don’t want to have to choose between you. I don’t want one of you to do anything dumb,” she shot a momentary glare at Sugata, “like trying to ‘give me up’ to the other. I want it to be the three of us.” She finished, lower, starting to be a little uncertain, “The three of us together. If… we can?”

Sugata realized he was staring at her.

“You want… um.” Takuto was slowly turning red. “Both of us?” His voice was a little weak, kind of the way it got when Watanabe was entertaining herself by making him blush.

Wako was a little pink too, by now. “It’s just… I know the two of you are important to each other, too. Right?”

Takuto looked over at Sugata, wide eyed. He didn’t, Sugata reflected distantly, look like anyone’s steadfast defender, or like someone who would get into a knock-down drag-out fight to pull a friend out of a funk, or like someone who would unleash a monster and then chase it into space and nearly kill himself destroying it, just to save a rival. But he had done all of that. Sugata’s voice was a little rough when he finally answered.

“Important. Yes.” He swallowed the roughness down, looking down at his plate. Takuto was important to him, probably more so than anyone he’d only met this year had a right to be, but that didn’t mean he’d ever thought about this kind of relationship with him! “Wako, I… are you really…?”

“I’m just asking if it’s possible,” she said softly.

“All right.”

Sugata’s head jerked up and he stared at Takuto, shocked. Takuto’s blush had gone down, and in its place was that earnest clarity, that rock steady look he always seemed to wear when setting out to accomplish completely unreasonable things. Learn the sword in mere months. Defeat a whole organization of other star drivers. Enter a threesome with his best friend and rival, and their mutual romantic interest. Sugata closed his eyes for a moment, fighting a sudden urge to laugh. “Nothing has ever complicated my life like you have,” he murmured.

When he looked up again, Takuto was smiling, bright and open and just a little challenging. “Well, maybe that’ll be a good place to start.”

Sugata gave in and laughed.

They got through the rest of breakfast with amazingly little awkwardness, considering what they’d just agreed on. It didn’t trip Sugata up again until they were leaving, and he offered Wako his hand down the front steps. She squeezed his fingers a little, smiling up at him with such relief and hope that his heart turned over. He hesitated, looking down at her and finally offered his other hand to Takuto.

Takuto looked back at him, thoughtful in the way that was always a bit startling in someone as guileless as Takuto was. When he smiled this time, it was small and true, and his hand closing around Sugata’s was warm. It felt… good. Perhaps, Sugata thought, this could work after all.

They had a place to start, at least.

He and Takuto still walked on either side of Wako, on their way to school that day, but when Ruri met them at the stairs and immediately teased Wako for keeping both of them dangling, Wako only laughed, bright and clear. The sound lit up the morning, and for once Sugata didn’t hesitate to catch Takuto’s eye over her head. They shared a smile and Sugata let himself hope. Maybe. Maybe it really would be all right, after all.

He tipped his face up to the morning sun, and smiled at the future.

End

And Like A River Continues

When Sugata tried, later, to explain what driving Samekh had been like, all he was able to say was that he wasn’t Samekh’s driver; he was only its pulse. Samekh needed a living heart, and that was him. But the cybody answered none of his actions or impulses, the way the warrior bodies did. It slept, but only because its heart had stilled himself. When the screaming sense overload of zero-time breaking jerked him out of stillness, it was Samekh and not him who bolted for the sky, who hovered above the world and reached out to gather it all in. All the life, all the power, all the passion of a whole planet had begun to pour through Sugata, and there’d been no way to stop or escape it, though he’d tried. Tried to drag himself out of the cybody, to fight free of it’s grip, until his own heart had been racing and spasming.

Until Takuto and Tauburn had broken in, and he’d made one last desperate lunge through Samekh’s vast darkness to meet them.

Which was how they’d come to be here, floating in their flickering driver spheres above the world among the slowly spreading debris of Samekh. It took a few minutes before Sugata could stop marveling over the miracle of everyone still being alive and think about the practicalities of keeping them that way. “Can Tauburn still move?” he asked. Frankly, he doubted it; the most intact part of the cybody was the hand and arm curled around Sugata’s sphere.

Takuto frowned and reached his hands out slowly. Tauburn didn’t stir. “It looks like not,” Takuto said thoughtfully. “But you know… I think I can fix that, now.”

Sugata jerked upright, alarmed. “Takuto! A regeneration in your condition is…” he trailed off, looking hard at Takuto’s small smile. “Not something I’m going to talk you out of, is it?” he finished with a sigh. “All right. Let me help, then.” This was clearly everyone’s day for doing stupidly reckless things; he might as well add another to his tally.

Takuto’s smile brightened and he set a hand against the curve of the sphere that still held him safe, even though Tauburn’s chest was cracked through. “Sure.”

Sugata’s mouth quirked ruefully and he spread his hands against the wall of his own sphere, reaching out again. He felt, sometimes, like he’d been reaching for Takuto from the moment Takuto had washed up on the island. Slowly, he drifted out of Tauburn’s palm to hover over Takuto and sink down, down, until their spheres merged with a flash. Sugata landed lightly on his toes behind Takuto and set his hands on his friend’s shoulders. “All right. Let’s try it.”

Takuto looked over his shoulder, even as his mark started to brighten, eyes steady. “I have a few things to say to you, you know. But that can wait until we’re back.”

Sugata firmly stifled a flush of heat to his face and concentrated on his own mark, instead, and on lending his strength to the cybody he could feel trying to stir around them. At least, he thought absently, Takuto lecturing him, embarrassing as he expected that to be, would probably be better than Wako; her version was entirely too likely to involve hitting.


Wako wrapped her arms tighter around Kate, holding her old friend close as they knelt at the peak of the mountain over the old “mine”, where the dissolution of zero-time had dumped them all. “It’s okay,” she whispered, stroking the long fall of Kate’s hair, tangled now from her last wild scramble, trying to halt Samekh. “It’s going to be okay.”

“But Samekh,” Kate whispered, voice shaking. “Sugata…”

“Takuto is with him,” Wako said firmly, eyes fixed on the sky. “They’ll be all right.” Takuto’s look had promised her that, in that long, silent moment of fierce understanding they’d shared before she’d agreed to break the southern seal. And she was going to hold them both to that promise, if she had to regenerate Wauna and go up there herself to make sure of it!

“Can even Tauburn do anything about Samekh?” Honda-senpai asked quietly, arms folded as he also stared up at the sky.

“Maybe,” Okamoto-sensei answered, low and tense, from the other side of the clearing. “If Sugata-kun has enough influence on Samekh to slow him, it’s possible. Tauburn is different from the others, and even the Science Guild still doesn’t know all of why or how.”

Kate shivered in Wako’s arms. “I shouldn’t have agreed to break Samekh’s seal.”

Wako shook her a little. “Now you cut that out! It was what Sugata-kun wanted! It was the incredibly stupid and bone-headed thing he wanted,” she added, mouth twisting a little, “but it was what he wanted and it’s not your fault he was being an idiot!”

Kate looked up at that, laughing even as tears spilled down her cheeks and smudged her glasses. “Wako-chan.”

Wako smiled, warmth gathering in her chest at hearing that again after so many years. “Kate-chan,” she said back, gently, and kissed Kate’s forehead. “It’ll be okay.” A flash of light, like a tiny, abrupt sun in the night, rolled down over them, and everyone looked up with a gasp. Wako pressed a hand to her chest, just under the lingering presence of her mark, eyes widening as a pull she hadn’t really noticed in all the madness eased. “Kate-chan,” she whispered. “Do you feel…?”

Kate scrambled upright onto her knees. “It’s gone,” she agreed tightly. “The pull. I think… that was Samekh.”

“The Eastern miko would know, if anyone would,” Okamoto-sensei said softly, and the remains of Kiraboshi looked at each other across the clearing, slowly relaxing. Wako kept her eyes fixed on the sky, ferociously willing something to move.

When something did, she started up to her feet, and everyone in the clearing jerked like they’d been shot. “Takuto,” she whispered, clasped hands pressed hard against her lips. “Sugata. Let it be you. That had better be you. If that’s not you, I’m going to kill both of you myself!”

Kate was still on the ground, laughing helplessly into her hands, interrupted now and then by a hiccup. “Wako-chan…”

The dot of light was brightening.

Wako bit her lip until she tasted blood, watching it come. It had to be them!

When Tauburn, shoulder shattered, missing a leg, swooped unsteadily over the clearing her heart nearly stopped. There was nothing in his hands. “Sugata,” she whispered, throat tight and choked with the sudden, crushing weight of grief she’d been holding off, hoping. “Sugata…”

But when Tauburn landed and the sphere in his chest dissolved, two people dropped down to the earth, not just one. For a moment, Wako didn’t understand what she was seeing, didn’t believe it after that moment when she’d believed he was gone. But that was Sugata, standing next to Takuto in his flamboyant Kiraboshi outfit, both of them battered and breathless. And looking at her.

One step, and another, and she was running, wrapping her arms around Sugata and burying her wet face in his shoulder. “Sugata…!” She reached out blindly for Takuto, pulling him close as well, and cried harder at the feeling of their arms around her as relief shook her whole body.

It took a while to stop.

When she finally lifted her head, Sugata wiped her cheeks dry. “I’m sorry,” he said softly, eyes sad in the darkness.

Wako punched him in the shoulder.

“You’re damn right you’re sorry!” she shouted over his yelp. “I can’t believe you did that! That was the stupidest idea you’ve ever had! You were going to just up and sacrifice yourself without saying a single thing, weren’t you?!” She pounded on his shoulders a few more times before he caught her wrists, wincing. “Don’t you ever do something like that again, do you hear me?!”

Takuto propped an elbow on Sugata’s shoulder, mouth curling up wryly. “That’s about what I was going to say, myself, but it looks like Wako beat me to it.”

“I knew her version would be worse,” Sugata sighed, but he was starting to smile again. “I won’t do that again. Not without telling you. All right?”

“And listening when we tell you it’s a dumb idea,” Takuto specified, raising a finger admonishingly. Sugata gave him a long look.

“I’ll listen,” he agreed at last, and Wako huffed with exasperation.

“He isn’t saying he’ll actually agree,” she warned Takuto from long experience with Sugata’s stubbornness.

Takuto laughed softly, smiling bright enough to light up the night. “That’s all right. As long as we’re listening to each other, we’ll work something out. Just like we did this time.”

This time. It really had worked out. They were all alive, and safe, and hadn’t failed in their charges. Not even her, since all the cybodies were broken and not about to go anywhere. Wako sniffed back another treacherous wave of tears and pulled them both close again, holding tight to this reality.


Kanako nearly cooed over how adorable Wako and her two boys were. Not everyone was as impressed with the romance, of course.

Or, at least, not impressed the same way.

“That’s so sweet I think I’m going to be ill,” Scarlet Kiss, or rather Shinada, said flatly. “Come on, guys, it looks like there’ll be school tomorrow after all.” She stalked off through the trees, and Honda and Gouda followed after her as they always did. Gouda gave the other group of three a thoughtful look before he vanished down the path to the foot of the mountain, though, and Kanako almost cooed over them, too. It looked like both those little triangles might be settling a few things soon. Good; she was enjoying the show very much.

Business first, though. She cast a thoughtful look around the clearing. Okamoto had an arm wrapped around Nichi Kate, steadying her as she stood, and that was a good sign for Kiraboshi’s (or at least Kanako’s investments’) continued viability. Kanako didn’t see Dr. Shibuya or any of the support staff anywhere near, nor Head and the Chairman. Those were less good signs. “Simone, Takashi,” she murmured, “I think we should be going as well.”

“Yes, Madam,” Simone said softly, and Kanako hid a smile at how closely she and Takashi walked as they moved off. This evening had settled things for many people, it seemed. As they passed Okamoto, though, she caught the woman’s eye and raised a brow at the empty woods around them, the missing members who apparently had no wish to share Sugata and Takuto’s triumph. Okamoto’s lips thinned and she nodded a fraction. Kanako nodded back.

Yes. There was work still to be done. Kanako slipped her personal phone out of her jacket’s inner pocket and hit her husband’s speed-dial as they walked downward through the trees. “Leon, my love? It’s me.”

Her husband’s voice was sharp, even through the crackle of static. "Kanako, what happened? That explosion…"

“Mm. That was Samekh’s destruction, fortunately. I’m afraid we were too hasty with the project, and did not understand Miyabe Reiji’s motivations. We need to track him down, and make sure he isn’t any further trouble. We should also throttle funding, to keep the cybodies from being repaired immediately. Speaking of which, Dr. Shibuya needs to be reassigned somewhere that will take up his attention.” Simone stumbled, behind her, and Takashi gasped. Kanako smiled over her shoulder at them, waving reassuring fingers at their stares. Really, you’d think they’d never watched her salvage a sinking project before.

"Hm. I take it you believe Dr. Okamoto will be more willing to take the time and care you feel are required, if she’s in charge of research instead?” She did love how quickly Leon could follow her thoughts. “That can be done. And reducing funding," he added dryly, "will not be a problem for the immediate future. How long do you need?"

Kanako considered the two mikos they had left behind in the clearing as she stepped around a bit of loose stone in the path. “Six years should do, I think.”

There was silence on the line for a moment. "Kanako…"

She laughed softly. “My love, there will be no shortage of second thoughts after the backers hear what very nearly happened. And I would like to give Wako and Kate a chance to be at least a little free before we ask them to take up their duties again. It will help keep them properly dedicated in the future.”

His voice was gentler when he answered, "As you wish, my dear." He had always understood the sacrifice Kanako had made of her own freedom, of any pretense at carefree youth, and had always honored her for it. It was why she had meant all the vows she spoke when she married him. It was one of the things she truly did love him for.

“Besides,” she added, “funding can always be channeled into collecting the remains of Samekh. The majority of them should appear to be destroyed; in fact, they can truly be destroyed if necessary. I believe the core is the only really important part to retrieve.”

He made an interested sound. "I’ll be waiting to hear what you’re planning, when you have a more secure line. Call me when you’re home, my dear."

She turned off her phone and waited, smiling into the darkness.

“Madam.” Ah, it was Simone who spoke up first; Kanako wasn’t surprised. Simone had steel in her spine, no question. “Why do you want Samekh’s core? After what our own cybodies said…”

“They felt that Samekh’s purpose is mistaken, yes,” Kanako said quietly, recalling the deep echo of Betraida’s memory and protectiveness in her heart. “But I believe they may have meant something different than we thought. If the other information we have heard is accurate, Samekh was made to rule, not to destroy. If he can be regenerated in a design that matches the life of this world…”

Endou had called Samekh a ship, after all, in her little parable of a play. Kanako didn’t think that was an accident. The cybodies did not have life as it operated in humans, though they could take motive force from human life and passion. The very life and passion Samekh seemed built to absorb. Absorb… and transport intact, like a ship did its passengers? The very possibility was so delightful she gave a voluptuous little wriggle that made Simone snort and Takashi clear his throat in a flustered way.

“Let’s keep that our little secret, though, shall we?” she murmured. “There’s no reason Wako and her young men shouldn’t enjoy their high school years, and perhaps university.” Or perhaps a career as an idol. She would have to look around among her contacts and see who might offer Wako and Kate a good contract.

“You think they’ll really join us willingly, in the end?” Takashi asked quietly.

Kanako smiled up at the starry sky through the leaves. “Sugata already did, for his own purposes. And Wako has a powerful sense of duty, wouldn’t you say? I’m sure we can give them a while to sow their wild oats before it’s time to settle down, though.”

They would need the southern seal regenerated, at the very least, before exploring working cybodies further. The eastern seal might be wise also, if Kate was willing to return. But that could wait. The true star drivers of this age were all still young. Surely there could be time to enjoy that.

She was sure Takuto would agree.


Reiji stood under the darkness of the trees and watched the drivers go, a few at a time, heading down the mountain and away from the half-wreckage of Tauburn. The boys of Vanishing Age had, appropriately enough, disappeared already, most likely back to the obscurity they’d followed him to escape. He wasn’t surprised. Those three had ambition, and passion of a kind, but little resilience.

Ryousuke stirred, at this shoulder, as Takuto and his two friends turned away down the mountain as well, Takuto with a last pat for Tauburn. “They shouldn’t be leaving any of the cybodies out in the open like that,” he murmured, disapproving.

Reiji shrugged. “I’m sure that will occur to one of them tomorrow. Kate, perhaps. Or Kanako. And Watanabe certainly has the resources to take care of any satellite images caught before then. Besides,” he strolled out of the trees toward the cybody, “it’s a nice chance for me.”

“Chance?”

Reiji’s lips quirked. After this long, he could hear when Ryousuke was alarmed, even though he’d probably sound indifferent to anyone else’s ear. “A chance,” he murmured. “A last chance, I suppose.” He laid a hand on Tauburn’s side and closed his eyes, listening intently.

The children might only just have discovered that they could hear the voices of the cybodies, but it was old news to him. Without the right mark or, with more of the seals in place, the right interface badge, it was only a bare whisper of unformed feelings, but with enough concentration, and direct contact of some sort, it could still be heard. Tauburn was the one cybody he’d never been close enough to listen to, and the acid burn of anger over that washed through him again. He took a slow breath to quiet himself, and listened now.

Sadness.

Satisfaction.

Waiting.

The waiting flowed past him, not noticing him at all. Tauburn was waiting for Takuto. Reiji’s hand curled into a fist against Tauburn’s side.

“Tokio?” Ryousuke asked, cautiously. Reiji slumped with a short laugh.

“It’s over,” he said, low and tired. All the hope he’d had to recover the terrifyingly brief and fragile beauties of the world, to return to them and live joyfully in the moments where they were… it was over. Ryousuke’s hands closed gently on his shoulders.

“Good.”

Reiji stiffened, glaring over his shoulder. Ryousuke looked back steadily. “Good,” he repeated, more forcefully. “You’ve thrown away too much, chasing this. Your friends, your lovers, your child, your painting… You would have thrown away the whole world, Tokio! Don’t you think it’s time to stop?”

“I could have gotten them back!”

“No you couldn’t have!” Ryousuke shouted back, and Reiji blinked; Ryousuke never shouted. “How many times do you think you could relive a moment before it lost its beauty?” Ryousuke actually shook him. “The whole reason those moments are precious and beautiful is that they pass! They change! They’re never the same twice!” He pulled Reiji around and glared down at him. “When I thought you just wanted the strongest cybody, to make up for not having Tauburn, that was fine. There were other cybodies and other drivers, and I thought the challenge might be enough to make you look at the present again.” He shook Reiji again, hard. “But you were going to throw it all away, destroy it all like a spoiled child, because you couldn’t see that what you wanted was right in front of your face! Your sunsets, those were all now, not the past. Sora, she was now, and she would have stayed if you hadn’t thrown her away too!”

Reiji pressed back against the not-metal behind him, staring at Ryousuke, at this startling flare of passion in him, fear slowly tightening in his chest. “It goes away,” he said, low and raw. “It all goes away.”

Ryousuke stared down at him for a long moment before he sighed, letting that bright, alarming passion (the bright things always went away) fall from him. “Come away, Tokio,” he said quietly. “Let’s find somewhere new to paint for a while, all right?”

Reiji let Ryousuke draw him away from Tauburn, but stopped him with a hand on his chest when he turned toward the trees. “Just a minute.”

All the bright things went away, and it seemed that Ryousuke could be bright too. Despite all those years of seeming dull and steady, he could be. And it was already too late to let him go, because Reiji had spent all these years thinking Ryousuke was safe to be with! There was only one thing he could think of that might slow things down, might keep Ryousuke from going away for a while yet. A moment of concentration and Resh flared to life on Ryousuke’s chest, under his hand. “There.” With zero-time unlocked, Reshbal should be able to slow Ryousuke’s aging even without being regenerated.

Ryousuke was staring at him, and Reiji snapped, irritably, “What?”

Ryousuke smiled. “Nothing. Shall we go?”

Reiji sniffed and stalked down the mountain ahead of him. Come to think of it, he couldn’t wait to get off this island. They would make arrangements tomorrow.


Kate carried her tray through the cafeteria to a table in the far corner, listening to the conversations around her. Nearly everyone had felt the shock of zero-time coming unlocked, but it seemed almost no one had seen Samekh rise. Her schoolmates were gossiping happily about what the strange event might have been, but the wildest tales, for example that it was some kind of alien spaceship either landing or returning home, were clearly told as jokes.

Despite how bruised her heart and mind felt by last night, she appreciated the irony.

She wondered, as she pulled out a chair and sat neatly, as everyone expected of a class president, what she should do now. Part of her thought her work was done; Samekh was both unsealed and destroyed, and Sugata still lived. But the part of her that had been Ivrogne for two years remembered that she still had another driver and a support staff to look out for. Who would take charge of Kiraboshi now, with Head broken? She remembered hearing that the Chairman had been one of the people originally in charge of the project, but he’d given the project up to Miyabi’s direction for so long… could he be trusted, now?

She sighed and took another bite of the cafeteria stew, and resisted the urge to hunch down grumpily in her chair. Winning shouldn’t be this difficult.

“Inchou-san!”

Kate rolled her eyes. A voice that low should not be capable of caroling her school title, but this was Tsunashi Takuto, after all. “Yes, Takuto-kun,” she started, repressively, “what is i—” She stumbled over her own words as she turned and saw who was behind him.

“Is it all right if we sit here?” Wako asked shyly.

“I… I suppose it’s… I mean, yes that’s fine,” Kate stammered, one hand clenching around her napkin. She really didn’t deserve to have Wako still look at her like that, like she was a friend.

“Kate,” a lower voice than Takuto’s said, at her shoulder, and Kate had to close her eyes for a moment. “It’s okay to say no, too. We won’t press, if you’re uncomfortable.”

“It’s all right,” she said quietly. She watched them settle themselves around the table, Wako on one side of her and Sugata on the other with Takuto smiling across the table at her, and stifled an urge to take Wako to task for not sitting between her and Sugata. This would be so much easier if Wako treated her like a rival, albeit a vanquished one, instead of a friend. If she had, Kate might have found a crumb of an excuse to hate her, which just about had to be easier than this tangled-up ache in her chest of wanting her best friends back, and wanting Sugata for herself, and knowing none of it was going to happen.

Except that getting her friends back looked like it just might.

“So, um, the math homework today,” Takuto was saying, fiddling with his fork sheepishly. “I kind of didn’t hear it.”

“I’m not surprised in the least,” Kate said dryly, concentrating on her plate. “You were pretty distracted by Watanabe-san.” Who had been teasing Takuto as if nothing in the least unusual had happened last night. Kate was starting to think the girl had actual ice water in her veins.

“Sugata-kun has it; you can get it tonight,” Wako told him laughing. She glanced over at Kate to share the joke and Kate’s breath caught. “Um.” Wako was making cross-hatches in her stew with her fork. “You know, I really was wondering… do you… do you still sing at all?” She looked up at Kate under her lashes, biting her lip.

Kate hesitated, looking aside, only to catch Takuto’s eye. He was leaning his elbows on the table and smiling at her exactly the way he had when he’d promised not to tell anyone about her singing, warm and friendly. “Some,” she muttered, looking at her plate again.

“I’d like to sing together again,” Wako said shyly. “Sometime. I mean, if you’d like.”

Kate swallowed hard, nearly flattened under a sudden cascade of memories. She and Wako singing along with the radio. Singing on the beach and arguing over who had to take which part and who got the most lyrics, dissolving into a sandy scuffle. Singing together for Sugata and seeing his eyes turn brighter and happier. “I… yes,” she managed, husky. “Sometime. That would be… nice.”

“I’d like to hear both of you again, too,” Sugata murmured, and she looked over at him before she could help herself. He had his chin in one hand and a small, warm smile on his lips, and her heart turned over at the sight of it.

She was grateful when Takuto asked, “Can I come listen too?” and let her look away. His eyes on her were thoughtful, despite his light tone, and when she snorted he grinned brightly.

“I suppose you might as well, all things considered,” she said, giving him a dire look. That little bit of silent teasing over the time he’d walked in on her singing in one of the karaoke booths, the little bit of normalcy, helped her take a breath, and another bite of stew, and reclaim her balance. It was the sort of small, warm kindness she was starting to simply expect out of Takuto, and really it was no wonder he was Tauburn’s driver.

“All things considered?” Wako repeated, and gave Takuto a beady eye. “Takuto, what did you do?”

“Nothing!” he insisted, holding up his hands. “It wasn’t my fault!” He looked at Kate, appealingly. “It wasn’t, right?”

Her usually quiet table was dissolving into something bright and noisy. Wako was leaning shoulder to shoulder with her, and Takuto was trying to defend himself without telling anything he’d promised not to, and Sugata was laughing softly at all of them. Kate took a slow breath and leaned back against Wako’s shoulder. Maybe it wouldn’t happen the way she’d hoped it would, but it seemed she had a place with them after all.

The knot in her chest was a little looser than it had been.


Midori leaned back in her desk chair and stretched with a sigh. The cybodies were broken. Kiraboshi was finished. She didn’t know whether she was happy or sad about that. But the work of the school nurse went on, so here she was for another day.

A tap on her office door punctuated the thought.

“Come in,” she called, and frowned when Watanabe let herself in. “Headache?” she asked brusquely.

Watanabe laughed. “Not yet. I came to deliver this.” She held out a few sheets of carbon paper and Midori’s brows rose as she scanned down them. It was a contract.

Okamoto Midori, aka Professor Green… position as sole head of Kiraboshi’s Science Guild… monthly stipend plus bonuses as stipulated… “What is this?” she asked at last, waving the paper. “Kiraboshi is over.”

Watanabe raised an annoyingly superior brow. “Come now, sensei, I’m surprised at you. Haven’t you put it together? Zero-time is undone; regenerating the cybodies will no longer take the kind of mechanical support it used to, not if the driver’s will and life are strong enough.”

Midori froze in her chair as realization slid through her mind, chill and electric. It was true. “You intend to repair them and push ahead with the Departure?” she whispered.

Watanabe’s smile turned feline. “Keep reading.”

Midori flipped to the next page, only to blink. “Six years of study before repairs are attempted?” she asked, disbelieving. “Didn’t you just say—”

“It is possible now. That doesn’t make it advisable.” Watanabe leaned a rounded hip against the desk, arms crossed under her annoyingly voluptuous breasts. “After what Samekh turned out to be, do you really want to risk another surprise from the cybodies?”

Midori shivered. The girl had a point. She read on a little further and snorted at the line about the Bank asserting ownership of all cybodies. “Do you really think the drivers will stand still for that?” she asked, flicking a nail at the clause.

“Not for a single second,” Watanabe said, sounding perfectly pleased. “Which will give us a very strong lever indeed to persuade them all to accept limitations on their uses of the cybodies in return for ownership after six years are up. A rent-to-own arrangement, as it were, compliance with those limitations to be the payment.”

Midori leaned back, chilled again for a different reason. She thought she might understand, now, why a ruthless financier and multimillionaire like Leon Watanabe had married Kanako. “So. Are you Kiraboshi’s new leader?”

“Would you prefer someone from Vanishing Age?” Watanabe asked, eyes sharp on her.

Midori’s mouth twisted. Another point for Watanabe; as much as Midori was fascinated by the physics of the cybodies and wanted to know more, she wanted just as strongly to put one in the eye of Vanishing Age. Them and their arrogance, thinking no one else was a true driver. She picked up a pen and signed her name firmly on the last page. “Why six years?” she asked. “Why not set a knowledge goal, instead of a time limit?”

“Six years should give our mikos time to fly free for a while and satisfy some urges before they return to settle down.” Watanabe sighed, eyes distant for a moment. “Though I do regret having to ask Wako to sacrifice taking her two boys to bed for so very long.”

Well, that made a kind of sense at least; for such a schemer, Watanabe was a bit of a romantic. But that comment about Agemaki brought up another annoyance, and not just that Agemaki was hogging two gorgeous boys all to herself! Midori tossed the contract down with an exasperated sound. “Doesn’t anyone ever listen to a word I say?” she asked, aggravated. “There are absolutely no indications that the drivers of the miko cybodies have to be virgins! And there is conclusive evidence that higher levels of passion and desire equate to stronger bonds to a cybody!”

Watanabe blinked, off balance for once. “But the mikos themselves say that—”

Midori cut her off with a wave. “Oh, I’m sure the idea’s been passed down for hundreds of years. If you’re feeling primitive and superstitious, I suppose entering a cybody could look a lot like being possessed by a god. But it isn’t!” She added, grudgingly, “There could be an effect if the driver herself believes it strongly, I suppose. It might weaken her will, and that does interfere with the bonding. But it’s pure self-sabotage!”

Watanabe smiled slowly. “I’m so pleased you’ll be continuing with us, Professor Green,” she purred. “I can see your knowledge and skills will be a great asset.” She counter-signed the contract and tore off the top two copies, handing Midori the last. “We’ll see you for the weekly meeting this Sunday, then?”

As Watanabe strolled back out of the office, humming, Midori wondered for a moment whether she’d gotten herself into something troublesome by going along with that girl’s plans, whatever they really were. But the cybodies were so fascinating. And besides, the drivers included so many simply delicious young men who didn’t seem to mind going around half dressed.

Midori sighed happily, chin her hands, and contemplated the future.


Benio walked soft-footed along the “mine” track down into the mountain, feeling rough gravel turn under her boots.

“Are you sure about this?” Tetsuya asked quietly, cautious as ever about anything not having to do with his precious motorcycle.

“I’m sure,” she bit out. “I don’t know what anyone else is planning to do, now, but I do know we just got our families’ marks back and I’m not leaving Peshent down here in pieces!” Her eyes narrowed with satisfaction when they got to the end of the cart tracks, at the landing for the vast wheel that would take them below; everything was dark. “Looks like we’re the first to come back, too. Good.”

“You really think we’ll be able to repair them?” George asked, glancing over his shoulder at her as he pulled open a discreet metal cabinet and hauled down the manual switch to engage the capsule track. Muffled clanks vibrated through the rock under their feet and a glass-and-metal capsule rose to the landing.

“We should.” She led them in and pressed the start switch, bracing herself with a hand against the wall as the capsule started to move. “Zero-time is undone. There shouldn’t be any more barriers between us and the cybodies.”

Tetsuya leaned against the transparent wall with his arms crossed, watching the bottom of the cavern swoop towards them. “Nothing but our own limits.”

Benio shot him a hot glare; every now and then, a little less pessimism would be nice. “We’re Filament! We’re the ones who shine! We’ll find a way.” She spun toward the door as the capsule slowed to a halt, stride firm and confident.

Though it did stumble a little when the door opened to reveal Watanabe’s blonde assistant standing there.

“Scarlet Kiss. Speed Kid. Raging Bull.” She bowed politely. “Right this way, please.”

“‘This way’ where?” Benio sputtered. “What…”

Secretary (Benio didn’t even know her actual name) looked over her shoulder, quite calm. “The President hoped you would visit this evening. She’s waiting by the cybodies.”

Benio exchanged a look with Tetsuya and George, lips tight, and nodded at the hard wariness in both their faces. “Let’s go,” she said softly.

They flanked her as she followed Secretary down the causeway that led out from the landing and finally across the open floor around the cybodies. Sure enough, Watanabe was lounging against one of the powered-down terminals there, in her uniform but without her mask. “Scarlet Kiss,” she greeted, lazy. “I’m so glad you could join us.”

Benio halted and crossed her arms. “Let’s be very clear,” she said in her meeting-hall voice. “We’re not here to join you. There’s no need for expensive support any more, to drive the cybodies, and you have no leverage over us.”

Watanabe pursed her lips as Secretary came to stand quietly at her shoulder. “You intend to regenerate your cybodies, yes? I wouldn’t recommend doing that completely without hardware support.”

“If so, then it’s Professor Green I’d be talking to, not you.” Benio had never trusted President, or her campaign to get control of the cybodies.

Watanabe smiled, somehow both sensually pouty and annoyingly cheery. “Well, you know, scientists are generally loyal to whoever funds their research. Professor Green has already signed a renewed contract with me.”

And that was why Benio had never trusted her. “I only have your word for it that regenerating the cybodies is still dangerous,” she growled. “I’m not taking that alone. I did it once, when they were still half blocked off from us; I’ll do it again!”

“And risk your loyal followers?” Watanabe asked softly, eyes flicking to George and Tetsuya. “I think,” she added, as Benio’s lips drew back off her teeth, “that we might reach some accommodation that will make everyone happier.” She held out a couple forms, fanned in her hand; Benio eyed them like she’d been offered a viper.

“What’s that?”

“A contract.” Watanabe’s voice was cool and hard. “With all the rules and compensations spelled out, so we all know what we’re here to get.” Secretary took the papers from her hand and brought them silently to Benio, Tetsuya, and George.

Benio read quickly down the page and snapped her fingernails against the clause she’d expected to find, halfway down. “I knew it! You want us to actually agree you own the cybodies and lease them—lease them—from you! What absolute bullshit! This is just another power-play, isn’t it?”

“Benio,” Tetsuya broke in, frowning down at his copy. “This is really weird. Take a look at the terms of that ‘lease.'”

She scowled down at the paper, reading on, only to stop short. “Full ownership by the Bank for a period of six years,” she muttered, voice rising in disbelief, “leased with all rights in exchange for agreement not to regenerate…? What the hell?”

“For six years,” George put in, eying Watanabe with just as much suspicion as Benio was. “Why would you want the cybodies to stay broken for six years?”

“In six years, I expect to convince the miko of the south to return and repair the last seal.” Watanabe waited out their choked sounds of shock. “I don’t think you understand just how precarious a position we’re in right now. Kiraboshi had at least tentative agreements with a great many companies and nations. Those have come mostly undone in the wake of Samekh’s rising and destruction. If any cybodies left the island now they would be picked off and destroyed by people who fear what they could do. Or even who just want to get a monopoly for themselves. Leon and I have enough money and influence to secure this island, but I can’t make any promises at all if you leave it.”

“And leaving the cybodies broken means all those people with itchy trigger fingers might not be as excited?” Tetsuya asked, eyes narrow.

“Exactly,” Watanabe nodded, look as pleased as if she’d just gotten one of her through-the-glass kisses out of him. “Besides, we need to know more about them before we risk activating them out in the world again. Considering what we didn’t know about Samekh.”

Benio settled back on her heels. “That’s actually a decent point,” she allowed. “I’d still like to know what Head knew, and why he was the only one who did know.”

“Samekh, at least, he learned about from his own father.”

All five of them jerked around at the new voice, and Benio tensed as Chairman stepped out of the shadows of the machinery. Anyone with eyes knew that Chairman belonged to Head; what was he doing here now?

“Katashiro Ryousuke,” Watanabe greeted him, with the same wary chill in her voice that Benio felt; on this, at least, they agreed. “Why are you here?”

A corner of his mouth quirked faintly. “I’m here to hand in my resignation, actually.”

Slowly, Watanabe settled back against the console, and Benio’s brows rose at that relaxation. “You were one of the original project personnel,” Watanabe murmured. “You would leave all that behind to keep following Miyabi Reiji?”

“I’ve worked for Watanabe for almost twenty years, now,” Chairman, Katashiro, said quietly, looking around the cavern with its machines and broken cybodies. “I fulfilled my contract, even when it was Tokio who really kept me here, even when I was part of a different faction than yours. But the project is done, now.” He nodded at the papers in Filament’s hands. “You know that, if you’re drawing up new contracts.”

“He’s leaving, then?” Watanabe asked, eyes fixed on him like a hawk’s.

Katashiro lowered his head, shoulders pulling in a little, like there was a weight on them. “I still believe he can be helped,” he said, low. “But it won’t happen here. I want Watanabe to let us both go.”

“You’re staying with him, even after all this?” George asked, incredulous, hand slashing out to take in all the cybodies broken in their desperate attempt to stop Samekh.

Katashiro’s smile was bitter. “Once you’re caught by one of that lineage, it’s hard to even want to break free again.” His eyes swept over them, dark and knowing. “As you’ve found out, with his son, I think.”

Benio flinched back a step from that knowing look, from the lines of pain around the man’s mouth. Would she ever look like that, over Takuto? She was grateful for the quick protection of George’s arm around her shoulders, and the subtle support of Tetsuya’s hand against her back, reminding her of what she still had. This was hers, through everything that had happened, and whatever she felt for Takuto wouldn’t change it. “Maybe we do,” she said, rallying, “but Takuto isn’t the one who’s crazy.”

Katashiro snorted and pulled out a cigarette. “So maybe you’ll have better luck than I did.” He lit it and breathed out a steady stream of smoke, looking at Watanabe. “So?”

She nodded slowly. “Very well. You will take Miyabi Reiji, also known as Tsunashi Tokio, away from Southern Cross Island, and keep him away. For my part, I take responsibility for closing your contract. All severance and benefits will be forwarded to your account. We will take no action against Miyabi unless he makes another attempt on the cybodies.”

Katashiro inclined his head. “Done.” As he turned to go, though, Tetsuya stirred and called after him.

“Hey! If Head’s dad was the one who told him about Samekh, why didn’t Takuto know?”

Katashiro paused and looked over his shoulder, the end of his cigarette glowing as he breathed in. “If you had a son, and told him all about your mark, and the cybodies, only to find that the only value or wonder he could see in them was a chance to break the world so he could live in his own personal dream… wouldn’t you be a little cautious about what you told the next heir?”

All of them were silent at that, and Katashiro’s steps echoed softly all the way out of the cavern. Benio thought about just how crazy Head had to be, to do what he’d done, and how none of them had realized it until too late, and about other people who might just want to use the cybodies for their own purposes. Better Watanabe than another Head, that was for sure. And she was giving the drivers all rights, plus continued support, in return for sticking to the island. “What happens at the end of six years?” she asked, abruptly. “These contracts only say the Bank owns the cybodies for six years, and then you want to re-engage zero-time. What then?”

Watanabe shook herself, looking away from where Katashiro had vanished. “Then we re-negotiate,” she said briskly. “Six years gives us time to be sure of each other’s motives. And with zero-time re-engaged, some of the pressure will be off; I trust we’ll be able to reach an agreement like sensible people, by then.”

Benio looked at Tetsuya and George, head cocked. The boys looked at each other for a long moment before turning back to nod to her. She smiled, slow and bright. “All right. You have a deal, Watanabe. Filament will light the way, still.”

Watanabe smiled back with obvious satisfaction. “Welcome back, then.”

Benio took a pen from Secretary and signed, hearing the scratch and rustle of George and Tetsuya signing theirs. The back of her mind counted up divisions. Vanishing Age looked pretty defunct. The Adult Bank and the Science Guild were already accounted for, and now Filament. She doubted Emperor would reappear. That just left… “So, have you snapped up Ivrogne for this, yet?” she asked casually.

Watanabe touched a finger to her lips, coy. “One thing at a time, Shinada-san, one thing at a time.”


After another day with no mysterious new events, the gossip on campus had died down and everyone had gone back cheerfully to their regular routines. Wako approved, in a general sort of way. But she did wish Kate would agree to expand her routine just a little bit.

Just a little. Really.

“The drama club will need another member, now that Endou-senpai is graduating,” she coaxed, arm linked with Kate’s as they walked down the broad brick path to the club building.

“You already got a new member this year,” Kate pointed out, jerking a thumb over her shoulder at Takuto, walking behind them with Sugata.

Wako gave up on logic and descended to wheedling. “Pretty please?”

Well, at least it made Kate laugh. But her eyes were distant and sober when she said, “I like discovering things more than pretending things.”

The way she’d had to pretend to be part of Kiraboshi for so long, right. Wako sighed. “Okay,” she gave in, bumping her shoulder against Kate’s. “But you’ll walk home with us, won’t you?”

“Yes,” Kate agreed, smiling a little. “I’ll do that.” She stiffened beside Wako, though, pulling to a stop. Wako looked around hastily, and her own eyes narrowed as she spotted Watanabe-san sitting alone on one of the benches by the path.

“There you all are,” Watanabe-san called, draping an arm over the back of the bench. “I’ve been waiting.” There was something new about her voice, Wako thought; an arrogance that wasn’t there when she spoke in class, no matter how casually self-centered she was then.

Kate stepped in front of them, hand slashing out to hold them back behind her. “What do you want, President?” she asked, and her voice had changed too. It was harder, lower, confident but edgy.

Watanabe-san chuckled. “Nothing dreadful, Ivrogne. I’m just here to ask what you and your fellow miko are planning to do, now.”

“The cybodies are destroyed,” Kate snapped, not even glancing around at them, and Wako realized how tense her friend was. “Why should we be planning to do anything?”

“Those broken cybodies are outside of zero-time, now,” Watanabe-san pointed out, crossing her legs and leaning back. “It might not take mechanical support to regenerate them any more.”

The boys had come to stand close at her back, and Wako felt both of them start at that. Slow, cold realization tightened around her heart. “Is it true?” she whispered.

“We couldn’t repair Tauburn completely, but… yeah.” Takuto stepped up beside her, looking down at her with worried eyes.

Sugata’s hand closed on her shoulder as he stepped up on her other side. “That was what you wanted, wasn’t it?” he asked Watanabe-san, voice cold. “Are you simply here to try to threaten the mikos into staying away?” His eyes narrowed. “Or is there something different you want, now?”

“You know, I wouldn’t entirely object if Emperor returned,” Watanabe-san murmured, full lips curved. “You have a good mind for these things. I assure you, though, I have no intention of threatening the mikos. I simply want to know what they plan to do.”

“It isn’t over, is it?” Wako asked, wrapping her arms around herself. She hadn’t realized just how much she’d hoped that it was, that she could be free now. The realization that her duty was still waiting for her felt like someone hanging iron weights on her shoulders.

“Why shouldn’t it be over for us, though?” Kate asked, spinning to face her, hands reaching out to catch hers. Wako saw the same desperate hope she’d felt, blazing in Kate’s face. “The real threat is gone! Samekh is destroyed, out where no one will regenerate it again. Isn’t it all right if the other cybodies are free, now?”

“That is your decision to make, now,” Watanabe-san said softly. “No one else holds the marks to drive the miko cybodies. Is it time for the cybodies to be released? Or will you choose to contain them still?” Wako bit her lip, thoughts spinning. They could be free; but was that the right thing to do?

Sugata had his other hand on Kate’s shoulder, now, drawing both her and Wako close as he locked eyes with Watanabe-san. “What will you do if the mikos do choose to leave zero-time unlocked?”

Watanabe-san examined her nails. “I’ll scatter the parts of the cybodies as widely and secretly as I can. It will slow down research, but without the protection of zero-time that can’t be helped.”

“What?” Kate half turned, not letting go of Wako’s hands, and stared. Watanabe-san shrugged.

“We aren’t ready, yet. Not without knowing more than we do about the cybodies.”

The words halted the spinning in Wako’s head and she let out a slow breath. “I think that’s right,” she said quietly, and closed her eyes for a moment, opening her hands to let the future she’d almost had go.

“Wako,” Kate whispered. Wako looked up and smiled, small and unsteady.

“Look at what everyone did with the suits, all this year. Lying and cheating and really trying to kill each other. That… that’s what we’re here to stop.” She pressed a hand against the place where her mark had been; where she suspected it still was, if she only invoked it again with all of her will.

“But then we’re the targets,” Kate whispered. “I don’t want to be afraid like that again.”

Takuto, who had been watching them with quiet concern the whole time, rested his hands on Kate and Wako’s shoulders, the same way Sugata was on their other side. “We’ll protect you,” he offered, soft and sure. “It’ll be okay, Kate-san. I promise.”

Kate bit her lip, looking up at him, and then at Sugata, who nodded firmly. When she finally looked back at Wako her eyes were wide and wet, but she swallowed hard said, husky, “All right. You’re right. What happened this year… it shouldn’t happen again.” The slump to her shoulders felt just as defeated as Wako’s own, though.

“Kiraboshi will protect you, as well,” Watanabe-san murmured. “And I can give you a little time before you need to come back.”

Wako frowned, stepping out from under the boys’ hands to face Watanabe-san herself. “What do you mean? If the cybodies need to be in zero-time to be safe…”

Watanabe-san cocked her head and smiled up at Wako, wry. “Leon and I have a great deal of money, and that can buy security for a while. I don’t want mikos who are pining and depressed, after all; you’d never be able to regenerate your cybodies in that condition. I can give you six years—time for college, or a career if you choose to be an idol singer.” She pursed her lips and frowned critically. “Just make sure you don’t take the first offer, if you do; you have a good enough voice to make them bid for you.”

Wako looked over at Kate with wide eyes. Kate was opening and closing her mouth as if she wanted very much to say something but was sure what. “Why?” she finally ventured.

Watanabe-san held up her left hand, so that her wedding ring glinted in the sun. Her eyes stayed on the ring as she spoke. “I know something about sacrifices. Leon and I both… we made a promise, of faith and unity, and despite all appearances we’ll hold to it. That’s because we both think this marriage is worth what we pay to keep it.” Finally, she looked back at Wako and Kate. “You should be sure that what you plan to do is worth what you pay.”

“And you want someone else to be free, if you can make it happen,” Takuto added, smiling. Watanabe-san shrugged and glanced aside, and Takuto’s smile got a little softer. Somehow, that made Wako relax; Takuto was too chivalrous for his own good sometimes, but he was one of the best judges of character she’d ever met. If he thought Watanabe-san meant them well, she’d trust him.

Watanabe-san cleared her throat. “That reminds me! I have a present of sorts for you.” Thinking about it seemed to please her, because she smiled, full and teasing as ever. “Professor Green tells me that there’s no evidence the drivers of the miko cybodies actually need to be virgins.” While all four of them were staring at her, off balance from the sudden non sequitur, she stood and brushed off her skirt. “Just something to think about.” She waved her fingers at them and strolled back down the path toward the school. Wako caught her eye as she passed, gleaming and mischievous, and pressed her hands to her suddenly hot cheeks. A glance at Kate showed her friend’s face was red too.

“I… need to talk to Okamoto-sensei,” Kate said, a little strangled. “My club advisor. Yes. I’ll… catch up with you later, okay?” She squeezed Wako’s hand and broke into a run back up the path in Watanabe-san’s wake, leaving Wako with the two boys.

The two boys who had their eyes locked on each other, and who wore matching tiny grins—the same ones they wore when they challenged each other with swords. Wako’s eyes narrowed. Honestly, if the two of them started acting like she was some kind of prize in their personal competition again, she was going to smack them both!

Wako! Sugata! Takuto!” Endou-senpai leaned out a window of the club building, yelling. “You’re late!

The boys didn’t even twitch. Wako pressed a hand to her forehead, torn between laughing and groaning. “I’m going on without you,” she told them loudly, hitching her bag over her shoulder and setting off down the path. As she’d more than half expected, that broke the deadlock and they scrambled to catch up and walk on either side of her. She rolled her eyes and caught both their hands. “Come on,” she admonished. “We’d better run if we don’t want Endou-senpai scolding us.”

Sugata smiled, just the tiniest bit sheepish. Takuto swung their clasped hands and agreed cheerfully, “Okay!”

Wako couldn’t help grinning back at them, and took off running, pulling them after her. “Come on!” In a few paces, they’d matched their strides to hers.

Wako was laughing when they reached the door.

End

The Blood of Kings

Joo-Doh was beginning to worry about Soo-Won.

Months after his father’s funeral, the boy walked the halls of the palace as if he were still in the funeral procession, stumbling and uncertain. Joo-Doh was a little afraid that, if the princess stopped coaxing him to eat like a pet bird, he genuinely wouldn’t remember to do so. And Joo-Doh didn’t know what to do, now, any more than he had years ago when it was the queen who had been killed and Yona who was wild with grief.

Actually, that wildness had been easier to deal with than Soo-Won’s pale, stunned silence.

As though the world had just been waiting for him to think that, voices raised sharply down one of the inner corridors, and Joo-Doh strode forward with an exasperated sound between his teeth. As if he didn’t have enough problems already, with discipline on the edge of breaking down in some squads, it seemed Yu-Hon’s death was stirring up tempers even among the…

…the king. And Soo-Won.

“Do you think I don’t know?” Soo-Won was shouting, tears on his face even though his eyes blazed through them. “Did you think I wouldn’t learn?!”

“I told you the truth; it was an accident!” Even more than Soo-Won’s unaccustomed rage, the edge of strain and anger in Il’s raised voice shocked Joo-Doh still, where he stood at the turning of the corridor. “He was my brother!”

“So you say.” Soo-Won stepped back, expression hardening into something far too chill for a boy that young, and his words cut like a live blade. “I see no relation.” He spun on his heel and stalked down the hall, shoulders high and stiff. Il reached a hand after him, only to clench it and let it fall, head bowed. Joo-Doh stepped back, carefully silent, into the main hall, looking around to be sure no one else had witnessed that. This was not the time for anyone to hear of dissension in the royal family, not with the man whose leadership in the field had kept their borders safe so recently dead. Apparently he was going to have to add ‘keeping the king and his nephew from each other’s throats’ to his list of a newly minted war-leader’s chores.

He suspected, darkly, that anticipation of watching him have to deal with this kind of thing was why Geun-Tae had been grinning so broadly at his investiture.

He made a careful bit of noise, turning the corner again, and bowed to the king exactly as usual, brief and perfunctory. The king’s smile in return was weak, but when was it not? He’d never been comfortable around the kingdom’s warriors. Joo-Doh counted it as a successful return to normality, and turned briskly down the corridor that would eventually lead to the courtyard of the messenger birds.

He didn’t think he could bring Soo-Won back to anything like normality, not if his normally even temper had snapped so spectacularly, and it was looking like the princess couldn’t either, so it was time for last resorts. A corner of his mouth quirked up, wryly, as he started composing a note to Mundeok, in his head. Young Hak could be a hell-raiser, especially when Soo-Won saw fit to incite him, but he did have a way of rousing Soo-Won in return. Right now, Joo-Doh was willing to deal with the one in return for the other.

He didn’t really want to think about what the palace would be like, if Soo-Won stayed as coldly furious as he’d just been.


Joo-Doh sighed as he paused in his final, evening round of the palace. There was still light burning behind the screens of Soo-Won’s rooms.

Nearly three years after the accident that killed his father, and it was like part of the boy was still frozen in that moment of knowing the most important thing in his world was gone. His mourning time was nearly over, but clearly not done. Open loss might not show on his face, any more, but his smile was different these days, barely skin deep and scraped thin over pain. Anger still flashed out from behind it, too, every now and then, and Joo-Doh couldn’t really blame the boy for that. It was such a stupid, pointless accident that took Yu-Hon from them all, but especially from his son. Small wonder if Soo-Won was enraged at the world for permitting such a thing, cold to his uncle, and painfully quiet sometimes, even with the princess or their partner in crime, Hak.

He supposed he should be grateful that the lights were burning, Joo-Doh reflected as he climbed the stairs to the breeze-way; at least it meant that Soo-Won was in here instead of sneaking out into the town as he’d done more and more often lately. But at least when he was sneaking out he wasn’t brooding. Joo-Doh had looked after the royal children for over five years, now, and seeing Soo-Won’s bright laughter and subtle spark of challenge quenched like this was troubling.

So his voice was a bit gentler than usual when he tapped on the door and nudged it open. “Soo-Won-sama? You should get some sleep.”

Soo-Won was standing at the widest window of his rooms, with his back to the door, looking out over the drop of cliffs that guarded the palace’s rear. He stood so still in the lamplight that he barely even seemed to be breathing, arms stretched out until his fingers touched the frame to each side. That position made Joo-Doh just a touch nervous, though if asked he’d have said no one was less likely to take his own life in grief than Soo-Won. Soo-Won had always had more resilience in him than that. Just in case, though, Joo-Doh eased quietly inside and closed the door behind him before taking a few steps toward his charge. “It’s late, Soo-Won-sama. Come get ready for bed.”

“Does this seem right to you, Joo-Doh-shougun?”

The soft question was so level, so distant, that a faint chill ran down his spine. That was not a child’s voice. “Does what seem right?” he asked, edging around to get a look at Soo-Won’s face.

“This country is dying, like my father died. Not of malice, but of misadventure and bad timing and incompetence.” There was a flick of sharpness on that last word, but when Joo-Doh stepped far enough around to see, Soo-Won’s face was perfectly still, almost serene if not for the tightness around his eyes, the dark shadows behind them. That expression didn’t change in the slightest as he turned his head to look straight at Joo-Doh. “Does our world seem right to you, Joo-Doh-shougun?”

“This is the mortal world, not the celestial one,” Joo-Doh answered quietly. Under the weight of that gaze, he could only give his charge the hard truth he’d felt sawing away at his own soul more than once. “There will always be things that are wrong.”

That hidden rage flared in Soo-Won’s eyes for a moment, sudden and hot, and just as suddenly concealed again. Soo-Won’s voice was as measured as ever when he spoke. “I know that this is true. Some things will always be wrong. But that does not mean that we should tolerate those which can be put right.”

True unease nipped at Joo-Doh for the first time. On the face of it, this seemed like the abstract discussion of evil in the world that any child probably needed to have, sooner or later, after losing a parent. The princess certainly had, after her mother died, though hers had involved far more tears and smashed dishes. But it wasn’t just pain looking back at him from Soo-Won’s eyes, tonight. Soo-Won had spoken of his father, yes, but also… the kingdom. Incompetence killing the kingdom, and wrongs that should not be tolerated. The earlier chill he’d felt turned to ice, coiling heavily in Joo-Doh’s gut, and he couldn’t help how his eyes widened. However much he might agree, sometimes, there were names for what Soo-Won was saying. Deadly names.

Soo-Won’s perfectly level gaze narrowed for a fraction of a moment, and then melted away into a rueful smile. “I’m sorry, Joo-Doh-san. I’m rambling aren’t I? You’re right; I should go to bed. I hadn’t realized how late it’s getting.”

That just made the chill grip harder, because Joo-Doh didn’t believe for an instant that this had been over-tired rambling—nor that the lateness Soo-Won spoke of was anything to do with the advancing night. He’d seen Soo-Won smile just like that, before, usually to cover the kind of risks with his person and safety that by rights should have turned Joo-Doh’s hair white years ago. It was always completely natural, entirely believable, and invariably meant that Soo-Won intended to keep right on doing whatever he’d planned on. “Soo-Won-sama…”

“Yes, Shougun?” Soo-Won was still smiling, but now Joo-Doh could feel the edge hiding under it, like a knife under silk, and finally realized part of what alarmed him about this whole conversation.

Soo-Won never called him by his title, always spoke to him as a familiar guardian, not as the war-leader of the Sky tribe. Always, until now. Joo-Doh looked at his royal charge’s smile, sweet and open and utterly implacable, and swallowed hard. Softly, trying not to tip this precarious balance in any direction at all, he said, “Please sleep well, Soo-Won-sama.”

Soo-Won’s shoulders bowed for a breath with what did look like weariness, and he closed those bright, hard eyes for a moment. “I’ll try, Joo-Doh-san.”

Joo-Doh nodded warily and withdrew, trying not to feel like he was retreating from a battlefield as he left the room and latched Soo-Won’s door closed behind him.

The memory of chill followed at his shoulder as he moved on through his evening rounds.


Joo-Doh sat at the more sheltered of the two tables in the dusty back court of a small, run-down inn and glowered at his drink. If he looked up from his drink, he’d just glower at his infuriatingly stubborn charge instead, and if he heard one more soldier mutter about royal nannies under their breath he wasn’t going to be responsible for his actions.

In retrospect, it had probably been a bad idea to change out the handful of men he took along with them on this past year’s increasingly frequent travels, but it was bad enough that he was being dragged back and forth across the country. He hadn’t wanted to take any one group out of the regular rotation that often; it was bad for discipline and worse for their training. So every time Soo-Won had insisted on gallivanting off outside the palace, visiting yet another port or village or fortress, every time the king came to Joo-Doh and asked if, just perhaps, he wouldn’t mind too much, Il didn’t want to say no but the boy was a royal nephew after all and kidnapping was always a possibility… Every time, Joo-Doh had stifled a sigh and agreed to watch over Soo-Won’s journey, and chosen a new set of guards to go with them. Apparently this had just made the amusement of his men at his difficulty in managing one sheltered noble boy more wide-spread.

Joo-Doh took a long drink and shot a dour look at the three soldiers who’d taken the next table over and were laughing quietly into their own drinks. He’d like to see them do any better.

Of course, most of them still thought these trips were some kind of whim. Few of them ever noticed that Soo-Won was always awake and up before them, and only a handful had actually caught Soo-Won at his sword training and seen for themselves the knife edge that lay under that silk-soft smile. Joo-Doh had, so far, been able to keep those few quiet by reminding them of how much the king disliked weapons and how displeased he might be to find his nephew practicing with such fierce dedication. His men had all dealt with enough royal interference curtailing their field training, or quashing even ceremonial appearances by the palace guard, that they’d kept their mouths shut. He suspected word might be making its way slowly through the ranks of the guard itself, but it hadn’t gone further yet. Joo-Doh was grateful for that.

Because he hoped, with all his heart and soul, not to ever find himself ordered to execute Soo-Won for treason.

The thought made him take another long drink, and beside him Soo-Won laughed softly. “Has it been such a long day, Joo-Doh-san?”

Joo-Doh gave up any further attempts at avoiding his barracks nick-name and glowered at Soo-Won properly. “It’s been a long year,” he corrected, acidly, “and if you’d told me you intended to come this far north into Fire, on this trip, I’d have brought another five men along. Or have your travel journals,” he infused the phrase with as much sarcasm as possible without raising his voice, “not mentioned the increase in bandit activity?”

He was fairly sure that Soo-Won’s travel notes did mention exactly that, because he’d caught sight of a page of them now and then. They were more comprehensive than the reports he received himself from trained observers. Passing those steadily growing files off as a “travel journal” had made him choke at his charge’s bland-faced audacity, the first time he’d heard it.

Sooner or later, this charade had to break, and every time he thought that he tried to bury the knowledge. He would hold that day off as long as he could.

Soo-Won smiled at him, sunny and gentle, and spoke just clearly enough to be heard at the next table. “I’m sure the skill of your good soldiers will be more than enough to keep us safe.” The soldiers in question elbowed each other and puffed out their chests, half-jokingly, to look more impressive. Soo-Won positively beamed at them.

Joo-Doh’s hands itched to strangle the boy, just a little bit. Except that he was reasonably sure Soo-Won would be able to hold him off for a while; he knew Soo-Won had been training with Hak every time the boy visited the palace. And such a display would raise the very questions he’d been trying to avoid. He took a slow breath and tried to stop grinding his teeth.

The sunny smile barely dimmed, but Soo-Won’s eyes acquired a hard glint behind it. “Be calm, Joo-Doh-shougun,” he murmured. “I have my reasons for coming here.”

That was exactly what Joo-Doh was afraid of, but saying so might invite finding out what those reasons were. Frankly, he was still hoping to bluff through whatever happened when the king finally caught wind of all this, and surely that could be better done with some genuine ignorance at work. So he didn’t answer, only leaned back as the inn’s one server arrived to set out bowls of soup and rather scant dishes of cabbage and dumplings, and took another drink.

And nearly choked on it as the server pulled a knife out of her sleeve and pressed the edge swiftly to his neck.

“Don’t move!” barked the inn-keeper from where he was suddenly filling the doorway, a horse-bow already drawn and aimed at the soldiers’ table. “You. The noble boy. Set your purse on the table and stand back.”

Joo-Doh silently cursed himself for letting his temper set him even a little off-guard. He cast a quick glance around the tiny courtyard and growled low in his throat as three more men, far scruffier than their host-turned-bandit but just as well armed, popped out of the nearest buildings and ran to flank them, swords and cudgels in hand. “Please do as he says, Soo-Won-sama,” he gritted out, opening his hand slowly toward his men at the next table who were frozen in the act of standing, teeth bared in grimaces of outrage and embarrassment.

Not that he had any intention of letting this riff-raff keep their money, but it would get Soo-Won further out of the way of that bow and clear of Joo-Doh’s swords when he drew them.

“Yes… yes, of course,” Soo-Won stammered, eyes wide as he stumbled to his feet, and that should really have warned Joo-Doh. Soo-Won only ever stammered like that when the princess was trying to hand-feed him or when Hak was scruffling up his hair. Even so, he was caught nearly as much by surprise as the little gang of bandits when Soo-Won’s hands lifted away from the purse and he took one long step back from the table, whirled toward the inn-keeper, and cut the man’s head half off in one fast, hard sweep of steel.

Later, Joo-Doh would think. Later, he would remember the sureness of Soo-Won’s hand sliding under the concealing looseness of his outer-robe, the calculation of the turn that flung his robes clear of his sword’s draw, the utter stillness of his face as he cut. Right now, though, he had other concerns, and long training and hard experience threw him back from the knife against his throat, drove his elbow into the woman’s stomach, and cut her arm to the bone with the first sweep of his own draw. “Get the flankers, search the buildings,” he snapped at his men as they started up from their table, the tension of the ambush breaking into the reaction speed he’d trained into them. He silenced the high, shrill sound of pain the woman was making with a hard blow of his hilt to the side of her head and left her in a heap as he herded Soo-Won back under the courtyard’s tiny balcony. His eyes tracked back and forth across the open space, half street and half town square, that the little inn backed up to.

When Soo-Won spoke, it was so soft he almost missed it.

“There are only the five of them.”

It took a few seconds for the implications to penetrate the singing of adrenaline, but when it did Joo-Doh froze. Soo-Won knew how many this little bandit gang had. He’s brought them here, insisted on stopping at this scruffy inn, knowing that the inn-keeper had taken up with bandits. Joo-Doh turned slowly to face him, fury rising. “Soo-Won-sama…”

“I had to know,” Soo-Won cut him off, voice harsh before he took a slow breath and continued with his usual evenness. “I had to know if I could do this, and no lives of those who are in my care could be lost in the knowing.” His eyes flickered to the sprawled body of the inn-keeper and away in a flinch that Joo-Doh recognized from other boys fresh from their first kill. “This town was as prosperous as any in this region manages to be, before he came. I doubt Kan Soo-Jin will spare the tax money to re-build that prosperity fully, but at least now they have a chance.”

Joo-Doh could hear perfectly well the fingernail grip on composure running under this small economic lecture, and made an intensely exasperated sound between his teeth. He laid down his swords on the nearest table and pushed Soo-Won down into one of the chairs. “Breathe,” he ordered briskly, setting a hand on the back of Soo-Won’s neck and pressing his head down. “Slowly.” He could feel the tremors running through the boy gradually subside, faster then he would have expected, to be honest. When Soo-Won made to straighten up, Joo-Doh let him and busied himself with cutting the late inn-keeper’s overshirt into rags, to clean the swords, and strips to tie the woman up with. Soo-Won accepted a swatch silently and cleaned his own sword with only a few pauses to swallow hard.

Joo-Doh was, rather reluctantly, impressed. The royal children had been kept away from violence of any kind, and even if he’d come here seeking it, Soo-Won was dealing with his first kill better than some young soldiers Joo-Doh had commanded. Blood would tell, he supposed.

The possible consequences of that didn’t quite occur to him until his three men came back, dragging another unconscious prisoner with them, and he saw the way their eyes moved from the splash of blood across Soo-Won’s robes to his steady hands sheathing a clean blade. When Soo-Won nodded to them, cool and apparently unshaken, Joo-Doh could see their shoulders straighten exactly the way he’d seen happen when Soo-Won’s father acknowledged one of the men under his command. That was when Joo-Doh started cursing again, silent and heartfelt.

How was he supposed to keep this quiet?


Joo-Doh paced the dark halls of the palace on his way to his rooms, slow and weary. It had been a very long month.

First there had been the princess’ thirteenth birthday, which had put Soo-Won and Il in the same place all day, resulting in a great deal of tension as they both smiled for Yona and tried not to show how chilly Soo-Won’s glance got every time it crossed the king and how the king’s voice turned tight and sharp every time he spoke to Soo-Won. Then there had been a caravan coming south, decimated by bandits just inside Fire’s north border, and Joo-Doh had to spend far too long arguing with Kan Soo-Jin until the prickly bastard agreed to accept a few squads of men from Sky to help clean them out. And just to tie things off perfectly, the past two solid weeks had been full of negotiations that started with an incursion over the border from Sei, moved through two shouting matches between Soo-Won and Il that he knew of, and ended with another territorial concession. Joo-Doh had just returned from seeing off the Sei envoys, far more courteously than he would have preferred, and he wanted to find his bed and sleep for a day or two.

But there were lamps still burning in the guest rooms Soo-Won kept here, now he’d moved back into Yu-Hon’s house in the town.

Joo-Doh spared a moment to reflect, darkly, that he would probably get more sleep if his sense of responsibility were just a little less developed, before he tapped on Soo-Won’s door and called quietly, “Soo-Won-sama? It’s late.” After the last few years, the corollary please go to bed and stop plotting something I’m going to regret some day was probably understood on both sides.

Tonight, though, he got a surprise when the door swung open to show, not Soo-Won, but the attendant and aide he almost never brought to the castle with him, Kye-Sook. He looked Joo-Doh up and down, coolly, before turning back to the room where Soo-Won stood in a pool of lamplight. “As we have discussed, then, my Lord,” he murmured, and bowed deeply to Soo-Won before slipping out past Joo-Doh and down the quiet corridor. Joo-Doh was still looking after him, trying to pin down why that cool look made him uneasy, when Soo-Won spoke quietly.

“Come in, Joo-Doh-shougun.”

It was a command, not an invitation, and Joo-Doh was moving before he quite realized it. He drew a breath to remonstrate, only to loose it as his eyes finally met Soo-Won’s. They were as level as he’d ever seen them, but tonight they were also fiercely intent, and that look cut off his words like a blade laid against his throat.

“I have need of you,” Soo-Won said quietly.

“Soo-Won-sama, I can’t… This won’t…” Joo-Doh made sharp, frustrated gesture, the knowledge that had walked beside him for the last seven years boiling up in his throat. He couldn’t go along with this. What good would a civil war do anyone at all, especially now with every surrounding country gathering like vultures, circling lazily as they waited for something to die.

Soo-Won cocked his head, pinning Joo-Doh under that uncomfortably sharp gaze. “In three years,” he said, quite conversationally, “this country will be no more. The only reason we’ve made it this long is Kai’s own internal strife. But now that Xing and Sei have realized that they can start carving away our territory and meet no resistance, smaller interests than the Empire itself have started to look our way. Li Hazra, north of Fire, will be ready to move within three years, and there are two separate Southern Kai traffickers who are already moving in on Water’s port markets. Once Earth has exhausted the mines left them after my uncle’s last concessions to Kai, those same interests will move on Geun-Tae-shougun’s territory, and he will have to choose between loyalty to Kouka’s throne and safeguarding his people.” Soo-Won’s mouth tilted in something that didn’t look in the least like amusement. “I think we both know how that will play out.”

The litany of disaster waiting to happen—starting to happen—froze Joo-Doh’s heart. “Then you must know,” he managed, voice rough, “that anything that divides the kingdom further will only bring the end faster.”

Soo-Won folded his arms and leaned back against the window-frame behind him with a sigh. “If I sought merely to depose my uncle, perhaps to exile him, then yes. You would be right. Nothing would bring down the scavengers more quickly than the least hint of a figurehead they could use as an excuse to invade. And that,” his voice fell, soft and cool and level, “is why I must kill him. Swiftly and as secretly as may be done, so that I can present myself as the only surviving heir and be fairly assured that the tribe’s war-leaders will acknowledge me rather than see chaos.” When he looked up from his folded arms, the fire in his eyes rocked Joo-Doh back a step. “And then, Joo-Doh-shougun, then we can start to take our territory back and to remind Sei and Xing and Kai that we are not a country it is safe to take lightly.”

The absent thought ran through Joo-Doh’s mind that, if Geun-Tae were standing here, he’d be cheering out loud and probably planning their first campaign before he even remembered to tell Soo-Won ‘yes’. Joo-Doh felt that he had considerably better sense than that overgrown adolescent, but he still felt like Soo-Won had reached in and turned his world inside out with one pull.

He hadn’t realized how much his own vision had narrowed, how far in he’d pulled it in an effort to ignore the bleak future looming up. Not until Soo-Won spoke, and suddenly he could see a future more than a year or two away. Suddenly, the dull grinding awareness of threats closing in from every side, threats he was not permitted to drive off, eased into a glimmer of hope and an unfolding path forward. It flowed over him like the first breath of a new dawn, and he breathed it in with something painfully like wonder.

One thing caught at his attention, though, like a thorn caught in his clothing. “The only heir? But the princess…”

Soo-Won flinched, the first time Joo-Doh had ever seen that happen, he realized. “I love my cousin well,” Soo-Won said, folded arms tightening until his shoulders drew in. “I will do my best to keep her out of it, to find somewhere safe to send her.” He rubbed his fingers across his forehead, still not looking up. “It can’t be a noble family, but she’s very young still. Surely she will adjust if I can find a merchant family to hide her in. One that travels a lot, ideally.”

“And if you cannot?” Joo-Doh asked, slowly, not wanting to think about it himself, but he hadn’t become the Sky tribe’s war-leader by ignoring critical strategic issues.

Soo-Won’s hand fell, fisting tight as he tucked it under the concealment of his sleeve. For a long moment he was silent, head bowed, shoulders taut. When he spoke again, his voice was thin and airless. “I will not be the contemptible creature my uncle is. I will not allow personal grief or guilt to rule over my responsibility to my people. If I cannot keep her hidden… then I must see her killed as well, before she becomes a pawn in the hands of our enemies.” He pulled in an unsteady breath and looked up with a brittle smile. “Kye-Sook asked me that as well. I will do whatever must be done.”

“Soo-Won-sama.” Joo-Doh moved to reach out a hand, only to halt. What could he possibly say? It was the truth, and while there was enough resentment against the king that he might not make a very good cat’s-paw, Yona was a beautiful and innocent young girl that all hearts would melt for. If she learned of this, if her grief was seized on by one of the Kai nobles and set up at the head of an army… Even the people in the army’s way might wonder if she didn’t have justice on her side.

Soo-Won shook his head. “It is what it is.” He let out a slow breath, and then straightened, and the intensity that had struck Joo-Doh so silent at first rose around him again, like a fire catching. “I will do what must be done,” he repeated. “And to do that, Joo-Doh-shougun, I need you. I will need at least two of the tribes’ war-leaders to support me from the first, but above that I need you. I need the unbending determination that drove a young officer who was merely competent to become the equal of Lee Geun-Tae. To recover our country’s footing and drive off the scavengers coming now to feed, I need the strength that holds Sky’s warriors steady even as their king turns away from them.” Very softly, he finished, “Will you give these things to me?”

It struck Joo-Doh a little breathless, to be seen through and through, and then to be called on to serve as he once hoped to. “Soo-Won-sama…” It came out husky, and he swallowed, drawing himself up in return. “To one who sees, and will act, yes. For this, I will give all that I am.” He had to swallow again before he could finish, because there was no going back from this. But his steps were firm as he came away from the door and knelt down at Soo-Won’s feet, head bowed. “Soo-Won-heika.”

Soo-Won’s hand rested briefly on his bent head. “Thank you, my Shougun.”

The calm certainty of that acknowledgement put a tiny shiver down Joo-Doh’s spine. He had come up as Sky’s war-leader under Il, and he’d never had his king’s full trust.

Until now.

The thought quieted an old, old tension in his chest, and it came to him that, yes, he could rest in his king’s hands now, and be sure that he would be used rightly in the service of his kingdom and people. The bared steel in the gaze that met his, when he raised his head, promised him that, and he met that steel willingly with his own.

“Your will, my king.”


Joo-Doh would never have expected that becoming involved in plotting a treasonous coup would make him feel so much more relaxed at meetings of the Five Tribes, but this seemed to be the case. For once, he’d managed to sit through An Joon-Gi’s obvious obfuscation as he talked around the condition of his northern port towns, and Il’s obliviousness as he tried to agree with everyone, and even Geun-Tae’s open yawns, without his hand itching to knock anyone’s heads together. He only marked these things as indicators of future projects. It was a bit of a revelation, suddenly having that vast weight of frustration fall away, lifted by the surety that all of these things would be seen and seen to.

That didn’t mean he was enthusiastic about having Kan Soo-Jin as a co-conspirator.

“Are you sure about this, Soo-Won-sama?” he asked quietly as they watched Fire’s war-leader sweep away down the corridor in a nearly visible cloud of self-satisfaction.

“I know he’s loyal to nobody but himself,” Soo-Won murmured, cutting straight to the heart of the issue as Joo-Doh was coming to expect of him. “But Fire has by far the largest army of any of the Tribes. Better to have it behind me for now than to risk him picking up on our plans from the outside. While he believes that he may make use of me, he will be a powerful ally.”

Joo-Doh snorted a bit at that, because that didn’t say very kind things about the man’s perceptiveness. “And when he realizes otherwise?” Because even Kan Soo-Jin probably wouldn’t be able to keep believing that once Soo-Won took the throne.

The brief curve of Soo-Won’s lips, distant and yet anticipatory, almost made him shiver. More than ever, of late, he saw Soo-Won’s father in him—Yu Hon’s skill with a sword and his strategic vision both. Strange, given how much Soo-Won looked, and even sounded often, like his mother.

“That,” Soo-Won said, soft and certain, “is when there will be an opportunity to see to Fire’s recovery. One way or the other.”

Joo-Doh bowed his head, at that. He didn’t like the idea of having to fight amongst themselves, but he doubted Kan Soo-Jin would feel the same. Soo-Won’s hand rested on his shoulder for a moment, and his voice was low but even when he spoke. “Whatever must be done, we will do. But I will do everything I can to protect as many of our people as is possible.”

Joo-Doh raised his head, looking back steadily, reassured again by the fire that burned at the back of Soo-Won’s eyes. “Yes, my Lord.”

The quick patter of slippers coming down the corridor made him step back into the shadows of the nearest door as the princess came careening around the corner. “Soo-Won!” She lit up like sunrise at seeing her cousin and reached out to catch his hands as she skidded to a halt. Soo-Won reached to catch her, so swift and unthinking and protective that Joo-Doh couldn’t help rolling his eyes a little. Both the boys were so transparent around the princess.

“I have dancing lessons this afternoon, and Hak says I dance like a crow, and you have to come watch so you can tell him I don’t!” she said all in one breath, tugging on his sleeves insistently, already poised to dash back the way she’d come, presumably with her cousin in tow.

“I’ll come, Yona-hime,” Soo-Won promised, smile distantly kind while his hands were thoughtlessly tender, straightening her over-robe. “In just a moment.”

She pouted up at him, and not just because of the delay in meeting her whim, Joo-Doh thought. Yona was more than just transparent, where her attempts to capture Soo-Won’s attention were concerned. “Come quick, then.”

Soo-Won watched her as she turned with a soft huff and ran back down the outer corridor, light as the garden breezes that followed her. His face was perfectly still, but the darkness in his eyes and the white-knuckled fists he hid in the folds of his over-robe made Joo-Doh step close again and say, softly, “We will do everything we can to confine her away from things, Soo-Won-sama.”

Soo-Won closed those shadowed eyes for a breath. “Thank you, Joo-Doh-shougun.” When he opened them again, they were distant, but intent again—sharp and fierce. A king’s eyes, Joo-Doh thought, and Soo-Won’s words carried a king’s knowledge and weight. “I will do what must be done.”

Joo-Doh bowed, and answered that the only way he could, the way he was increasingly sure the entire country would answer Soo-Won’s blazing will.

"Yes, my king."

End

Under One Sky

Hak watched the campfire with unfocused eyes, hands moving over the blade of his spear with absent familiarity, cleaning and oiling, testing the edge. He listened to Yun ordering Yona’s dragons around, briskly assuring the last of the evening’s camp chores were all done, but he wasn’t paying attention to that, either.

He was listening to the whisper and snap of Yona’s bowstring, and the small, flat thud of each arrow flying home into tonight’s target tree.

Hak tried not to be grateful that Yona’s hands were as sure, now, on her bow and sword as they were, once, on her long sashes and bright over-robes. He tried hard not to be grateful for that.

It wasn’t because of the old king’s memory and his determination to keep his daughter and people free of blood, though Hak still respected that. It wasn’t because he was her guard, should be her sword, should never allow her to be in danger, though he still felt that. It was because of where the gratitude came from.

Hak knew himself reasonably well. He’d known for a long time that he loved Yona, for example. So he’d known for even longer that he loved the sharp edge of violence, of strife, of exercising his greatest gift. He loved how bright it made the people around him, bright with their own effort, their desire to live and triumph. People fighting burned as bright as the logs at his feet, lighting up the falling night. If that were all he saw, when he watched Yona shooting or practicing her sword form, then he’d feel no conflict, would love that fire in her with a whole heart, give himself to her burning without a flicker of doubt, as completely as any of her dragons.

He did give himself to her completely.

But when he watched her with weapons in her hands, something deep inside him relaxed, eased, not just because he rejoiced in her strength but because her fierce brightness, then, tugged his attention away from the memory of another’s brightness. Another’s brightness that some part of him still yearned toward, still needed to be distracted from, and that need infuriated him.

Hak knew himself reasonably well, so he knew he’d chosen his master years ago, and that master was not Yona. Not then. He’d loved her, of course, and he’d always protected her with everything in him, but her brightness was lighter, back then, softer. The one whose brightness was heavy and edged, then, wasn’t Yona.

It was Soo-won.

Watching Soo-won’s smile turn sharp, watching his eyes turn intent, watching him move pieces on a playing board or people to his will, feeling him block even Hak’s attacks and take the bruises from them and retreat until he found the perfect moment to strike… Sitting flat on his butt in the Royal Guards’ empty practice yard, staring up at the brilliance of Soo-won’s grin in his flushed, dripping face as he offered Hak a hand back up and wiped away a trickle of blood with his other wrist… In that moment, Hak had chosen his master. He’d felt the shape of his future, then, felt it like something snapping into place and settling. He would guard them both, be their sword and shield, Yona’s shelter and Soo-won’s right hand. He would serve them and be loved by them. His queen would be beauty and warmth enough for a whole kingdom, and his king, his master, would be greatness enough. And Hak? He would be strength enough. It had felt so right, in his heart, in his head, knowing that was how things would be.

A log collapsed in a brief cloud of sparks, and Hak blinked away the brightness of them, jaw set.

That rightness had shattered, all in one night of rain and blood and the incomprehensible flatness of Soo-won’s eyes as he’d admitted to killing Yona’s father in front of her. Hak would never forgive him for that, not for Yona’s pain and not for the loss of their world and future together. But the memory of that future still sang to him, and he was grateful, so very grateful, that Yona had grown bright enough, hot enough, fierce enough to hold his loyalty as well as his love, to command the attention of what lived at the base of his spine and under his ribs. To pull that attention away from Soo-won.

He hated the need to be grateful.


Yona took a slow breath, feeling the flow of steady strength from her firmly set feet, up through her lungs, down her arms. It was late; the moon had risen on her target practice, making the shafts of arrows she’s already shot stand out, pale against the shadowy trunk she was aiming for. She wasn’t weary yet, though, and she drew the bow again, taking a small moment’s pleasure in the resilience her body had gained. She didn’t precisely love her current life, but it satisfied something deep inside her, far deeper than was ever reached or woken by her life in the palace. She lived this life for her people, and was not broken by it. She released the arrow, and released her breath, and smiled as the shot bit firmly into the tree where she’d aimed it.

Her last kanzashi had never broken, either.

Yona’s smile faded. She wished, sometimes, that it would. If it broke, from the roughness of the life she lived now, then she could tell herself that it was a sign her old life (her old love) couldn’t fit into her new one.

But the bright, pretty hair ornament Soo-won gave her had never broken, no matter what falls or blows she’d taken while carrying it, and that… well, she had a hard time, sometimes, not viewing that as a sign too.

Her fury had never faded, not since the day she first woke from her daze, pulled awake by the specter of losing Hak and the sudden, hot need to close her hands on him and keep him. Her fury simmerd in her blood with every breath, drove her arms through the motions of pulling her bow or swinging down her sword, drove her feet down the path that would protect her realm. But none of that helped her, because that road only seemed to lead her back to Soo-won, or at least alongside him.

This would all be easier if she hated him. Sometimes she wished she did.

She was infuriated with him all the time; to call it anger was far too pale a word for the razored edges of rage and pain that clawed under her breastbone every time she remembered her father’s body on the floor at Soo-won’s feet. At the same time, though, every time she saw the changes he’d made, the faces of the people easing at news of new markets, new crops, safer borders, she saw the smile of the boy she grew up with, was struck still on the road, sometimes, with the memory of it. Every time they actually met, the whole ball of rage and sorrow and sweetness whirled up inside her, tangling her in the burning strands of it until she almost screamed.

She forced away those memories with another hard breath out and instead drew another arrow and set it, feeling for the proper pressure and slide of the bowstring under her calloused fingertips, pulling it back until she could almost hear the tension on the string, sighting down her arm in the ghostly reversed shadows of the moonlight.

Thinking about Soo-won was like seeing by moonlight. Shadows spread unfathomably black and in strange shapes, so that she couldn’t always tell what daylight shapes they might belong to. But the pale light spread out as well, softer-footed than daylight, showing her things the sun never did, if only she stepped outside the firelight and looked. And the further away she stepped, the more things she saw that were new and strange.

She released the arrow, knowing, now, just from the surge of the bow in her hand as the string recoiled, that this one was true. For a breath, she almost felt Hak’s arms around her again, his hands over hers, showing her how to draw, how to stand, how to aim. She shook her head fiercely, shook her arm out, pulled another arrow maybe a little more roughly than she should.

The moonlight made everything strange, everything new. She wished it didn’t. Because sometimes, now, when Hak’s hands over hers on the sword felt strange and new, made her stomach flutter for a moment, other strange thoughts snuck in. Sometimes, looking at the world with her new eyes and feeling the small, unbroken hardness of the kanzashi against her ribs, she wondered if it survived because there would come a day when she must wear it again.

A day when she must stand, with bow and sword and burning rage, at Soo-won’s side.


Soo-won laid down the sheaf of reports from his observers on the Xing border and rubbed tired eyes, closing them against the low lamp-light of his records room for a long breath. By the time he’d turned his attention south, he’d more than half expected Yona to be there before him. That didn’t make it easier to read the accounts of “bandits” with increasingly ridiculous names, led by a red-haired woman who carried a bow and defended their people with a ferocity that sent his hand reaching, again and again, for the old book of legends, stories of a dragon god who burned with such love for his mortal people that he called miracles down around him.

Part of him, the cynic who had known since the age of nine what evils even well-meaning humans could do, scoffed at the very idea. Another part, the child who had never stopped crying for the loss of his father’s love and strength, raged and demanded why, if Yona truly bore the blood of the sky dragon, if she could truly call down miracles, that blood had not wakened sooner, in time to spare them all what had followed from his father’s death. And the calculation that had once delighted in the complexity of the world around him, the part that had frozen cold over his father’s pyre and never truly melted again, considered what use he could make of this new legend growing in the land. For the sake of their people, he suspected she would let him.

He ran a hand through his hair with a sigh and stood to blow out the lamps by the window, fluttering and smoking now as the night breeze strengthened. He didn’t want to think such thoughts about Yona. Even when he’d thought he must kill her, lest she be used by one of his enemies, she had seemed the purest, truest creature in Kouka to him. He had never wanted to sully that, had planned for her death rather than her exile or imprisonment exactly so that no one of his enemies would ever lay hands on her and twist her to their ends. He had rejected, violently, Kye-Sook’s suggestion he might marry her, supposing he’d been able to keep his assassination of the king secret from her as well as the populace.

His hands tightened into fists, in the concealment of his sleeves, as the last threads of lantern smoke rose to curl around his head before blowing away. He would use anything he had to, to save his people, but at least, he promised himself once more, he would not try to twist her to an end she did not choose. He would not promise what he could not give–not safety, not mercy, not justice. Not yet.

Soo-won did not lie to his people.

He knew that Geun-tae and Joo-doh would probably both disagree, if they heard him say it, Geun-tae loudly and Joo-doh fiercely. They were very alike (though they’d probably disagree with that also) and had little patience for subtleties or shades of meaning. And it was true that he kept his own counsel, did not tell even his advisor or the General of his own tribe most of his plans, at least not in detail, smiled softly even at opponents sometimes. But this shade of meaning was one Soo-won was painfully sensitive to.

He’d never lied to Yona or Hak.

His care for them, his happiness whenever he was with them, his delight in Yona’s sweetness and Hak’s strength, her honesty and his protectiveness, all of those things were true. True as death. True as blood. He felt those things still, and the pain of knowing he’d never have any of them again twisted something deep inside him until he thought it would be a relief when he’d finally wrestled his country back to safety and could let Yona take his life, as was her right by any just measure. He had never been able tell them everything—Yona would not, then, have understood any of it and Hak had still been the old king’s man, and Soo-won had known from the day of his father’s death that they could not be his once he set his feet on the path that led to Kouka’s throne. But every word he had said to them, every smile, every clasp of hands had been his heart’s truth.

Knowing, every instant, the full measure of the misdirection he practiced with nearly every word and breath, that was the line he chose, with which to measure his own honor. He held to that same line, now. He might keep his silence, he might conceal his talons in soft feathers for a time, but he would never lie to his own people. Any with eyes to see would have the chance and the right to note his true colors, to mark the feathers of a falcon rather than a sparrow. Though Joo-doh would scoff at such metaphors as pointless fancy, he was still one of the few to see and understand, years ago, the things that so many others missed, and he was one of Soo-won’s closest retainers now because he still saw—at least when his temper wasn’t getting in the way. It was that very thing that had troubled Soo-won for some time, now.

He still didn’t know whether he’d told Joo-doh the truth or not, when he said he would kill Hak when next they met. When he’d thought, after, on why he didn’t even attempt to defend himself, when Hak had advanced on him with bloodlust weighing down the very air around him, Soo-won had finally had to conclude that he hadn’t believed Hak would really do it. Or rather, he’d known the man facing him truly meant to kill him. But somehow he hadn’t, in that moment, connected that man with Hak. At the same time, he’d also known, down in the core of his bones, that Hak was present, and every reflex of nearly twenty years had insisted that Hak would never allow him to be harmed. Soo-won sighed at his own foolishness, scrubbing his hands briskly over his face. He didn’t have the luxury of those old certainties, not any more. He just didn’t know whether he’d truly be able to conquer them, when his path crossed with Yona’s again.

He reached out and rested his hands on the ornate frame of the window, leaning out into the cool, dark night beyond, drawing a deep, slow breath of that clean air. He wondered if Hak and Yona were watching the same moon as he was, standing high and clear tonight.

And then he turned away, once again, from that old yearning, and picked up his brush to write the next set of orders that might shore up the crumbling foundations of his realm. The same sky might cover them all, but he was the one, the only one, who had undertaken to be the sun for his poor, worn-away people and country. He could not afford to let personal wishes bank his fire in any way.

Not yet.

End

Cool, Clear Water

Kazuya’s first physical therapy appointment made him wonder if maybe it would have hurt less to just keep playing injured.

The stretches weren’t too bad. Lying with his spine on the foam roll actually felt kind of good, at least along his shoulders. Finding out how far he could rotate his lower body wasn’t the best time he’d ever had, but Maki-san, the steely-eyed trainer he’d been assigned, had watched carefully and then moved his knees herself, stopping them just before the point of pain on each side, and ordered him not to stretch a single centimeter further without her say-so. A little daunted by her resemblance to an annoyed Rei-san, he’d promised, and promptly had more foam blocks shoved under his knees to make sure. He couldn’t help wondering, a little self-consciously, if she had a lot of troublesome athletic patients. He was trying to be good, now the fall tournament was over, really!

It was a little hard, though, when she was working over the muscles of his uninjured side, hands just as merciless as her eyes.

“Take a deep breath.” She drove a thumb into a knot just under his ribs. It felt like she’d driven in a spike.

“Ngh! Trying…”

“Yes, you’ve definitely been straining these muscles to compensate.” She looked disapproving as she pinched something tense at his waist between thumb and first knuckle and twisted slowly.

“NoticING… that,” he finished on a gasp, eyes watering.

“Definitely do supported side stretches on the left every day,” she directed, running a heavy palm down his hip and flank, unerringly following the line of greatest pain. He gritted his teeth and made a wordless sound he hoped she took for agreement.

When she finally let him go, he curled up on his side on the bench, panting for breath and a little light-headed. His whole body felt shaky.

“Rest for a little while, and then drink more water,” Maki-san ordered, patted him briskly on the shoulder, and strode off. Presumably to her next victim. Kazuya stayed right where he was as the sounds of the gym filtered back in and started making sense again, the slow clanks of the weight machine Animal-san had his current client working on, the steady thump of someone else on a treadmill.

Eventually, when he was sure his voice would be suitably mild and ironic, he remarked, “Ow.” It still came out more heartfelt than he’d intended.

“Are you doing all right?”

Kazuya was pretty sure his body tried to start, but all he managed was a twitch before carefully craning his head back to look up at Chris, who was standing over him with a small, wry smile and a water bottle.

He wasn’t sure whether to kiss Rei-san or curse her for carting him off to Chris’ father’s gym for his physical therapy. He thought there might be discounts involved. Either way, there was Chris involved, and he was very aware of how pathetic it was to want to show off via physical therapy, thank you, he just… couldn’t quite stifle the impulse. He’d never been able to completely stifle that particular impulse, around Chris.

Which was why he pushed himself upright with a smile, and if the smile had a bit of gritted teeth as his ribs twinged viciously no one had to know but him. “Yeah, I’m fine! Thanks.” He took the water Chris offered with his left hand, so he wouldn’t wince when he lifted it, only to nearly drop it when his even his good arm wobbled alarmingly.

“Easy.” Chris slid a fast hand under the bottle, the other settling on Kazuya’s shoulder. “You aren’t going to bounce instantly back from your first round of therapy,” he said quietly, and there was a dark enough shade of knowledge in his voice that Kazuya lowered his eyes and just nodded. A second try got the bottle to his mouth without mishap, and he was counting that as a win.

“Sore?” Chris asked with a knowing tilt to the corner of his mouth that made Kazuya wonder if he’d worked with Maki-san too.

“A little,” he admitted. “Mostly not where I’m injured!” He chalked up another small win when Chris laughed quietly.

“Chiyo-san is very good with soft-tissue injuries, but she’s pretty strict.” He slung a leg over the bench and slid down beside Kazuya. “Here?” He settled one broad hand against Kazuya’s lower back, on the left, and just that little pressure woke a few sparks of protest from roundly abused muscles. Kazuya tried not to wince.

“Yeah. In absolute terms, I’m glad she caught it; I certainly don’t want a compensation injury. Still.” He grinned, tilted, and repeated with proper insouciance this time, “Ow.” Though actually, the warmth of Chris’ hand through his thin T-shirt was kind of soothing. He chased that thought to the back of his head where it belonged and took another drink.

Chris was frowning thoughtfully when he looked again. “Yes. I can feel how these shake when you lift something. It’s probably just the hypertonic release, on this side, but… here.” He slid off the bench to crouch in front of Kazuya, and Kazuya froze, eyes widening helplessly as Chris’ hands nudged up the hem of his shirt and curved around his lower ribs on each side, warm and sure and oh he really needed to stop thinking about that right now. He barely heard it when Chris said, “Lift both arms for a second.”

His brain only kicked in again when Chris glanced up at him, brows drawing down in concern. “Miyuki? Are you all right?” The light pressure of his hands let up quickly. “Does even that hurt?”

Kazuya shook himself and forced a bright laugh, even if his ribs did protest it. “No, it’s fine, sorry, just spaced out a little, there! Maki-san really wrings a person out.”

Chris’ expression relaxed back into a faint, commiserating smile and his hands settled firmly again. Kazuya tried very hard not to let his breath hitch. “She does. Lift your arms for a moment.”

Kazuya did, watching as Chris’ eyes turned a little distant, as if listening for something. “I’m not nearly the kind of expert she is,” he said, finally, “but it doesn’t feel like anything’s strained on the left, yet, and you’re not pulling unevenly as long as you’re not lifting any weight. You’ll probably be sore all day, but the tremors should fade soon.” His hands slid away from Kazuya’s ribs, gentle, and Kazuya swallowed back the tiny sound of protest that wanted to escape. Chris stood and smiled down at him, sympathy giving way to an amused glint in his eyes. “So it’s probably about time to stand up and start moving around again.”

Kazuya groaned theatrically, but did as Chris said and let himself be chivvied over to the treadmills, relieved to have escaped without giving himself away. He could take Chris’ sympathy over the pain of rehab, and Chris’ wicked humor too. But he thought the quiet, gentle way he knew Chris would let him down over his forlorn little crush would probably break him where nothing else could. So he paced along at an easy walk and tried to forget the feel of large, warm hands against his skin.


Chris closed his literature notes and leaned back in his desk chair, stretching until his spine popped. He let his lightly clasped hands fall behind his head and stared up at the ceiling thoughtfully. Literature was usually one of his best subjects, but he was distracted tonight. The memory of Miyuki’s expression this afternoon kept popping up and nudging his thoughts for attention.

Rather, now that he was thinking about it, the way Miyuki himself had ever since he arrived at Seidou.

Now that he was thinking about it, a whole collection of little moments was coming to mind, spread out over the last year and a half: Miyuki grinning, Miyuki intent, Miyuki quiet and watchful, Miyuki bright and excited. Each time, Miyuki coming to him. It was a commonality that made his analytical sense itch, because when he looked back on it, the only people he’d observed Miyuki going to regularly were his pitchers.

And Chris.

And this afternoon… Miyuki hadn’t looked spaced out. He’d looked flustered for just a breath, before he’d buried it under a grin. Chris’ memory, now he consulted it, suggested that when Miyuki grinned like that it was usually to misdirect attention. But he was reasonably sure Miyuki hadn’t been trying to cover up discomfort. Just possibly, in light of Miyuki’s gravitation toward him and considering how flushed Miyuki’s face had been, possibly quite the reverse.

Chris tilted his chair back on two legs and frowned a little to himself. If he was right… well that was the catch, wasn’t it? If. And given Miyuki’s deflection, he obviously wasn’t about to make things easy by confessing.

The very idea of any love-confession Miyuki Kazuya might come up with made Chris laugh out loud, open and rueful, because if there was anyone more emotionally elusive on Seidou’s team… Ryousuke, maybe. The very idea.

And, really, tracking back through his interactions with Miyuki over the past few months was far from conclusive. Miyuki had come to him several times, but mostly to ask for help pulling Sawamura into shape. It was always possible that Miyuki’s willingness to go to Chris was simply an extension of the care he took of his pitchers. For values of “care” that did often look like “merciless hounding” Chris allowed with a smile at his ceiling; he’d been able to appreciate that more in the last few months. Ever since Sawamura…

Chris straightened abruptly, letting his chair fall upright as the connection drew itself in his mind, sure and solid, from Sawamura back to Miyuki.

Miyuki often came to him about Sawamura, which had made sense to Chris at the start because of course the second-string catcher would work with a second-string pitcher, and goodness knew someone had had to drill Sawamura in the basics. And later it had been fairly obvious that Miyuki had cast Chris as the good guy, the one who would help Sawamura after Miyuki had wound him up sufficiently. But maybe that hadn’t only been about Sawamura.

He remembered, now. It had happened while Sawamura was still throwing tantrums over his basic training menu. And the time Chris was thinking about, he hadn’t just complained that Miyuki was too busy with Furuya to work with him.

I don’t know why that bastard’s making me work with you when you won’t even catch for me!

It had been, at the time, a typically self-centered complaint and Chris had ignored it. Sawamura had made similar complaints often enough, and when Chris thought about them at all he thought Sawamura had been complaining about the coach making him work with Chris. But even at his petulant worst, Sawamura had never called the coach names. It was Miyuki that Sawamura said things like that about. Miyuki, who had never treated Chris like second-string or like he was retired. Who had, from what Sawamura had said, been the one to suggest Sawamura work with Chris when Chris was giving even his own yearmates the cold shoulder and shutting down his kouhai with quiet viciousness. Viciousness that hadn’t stopped until Sawamura had run right over top of it, the only one both bull-headed and good-hearted enough to ignore it.

The one Miyuki had, apparently, aimed at him.

Chris’ smile spread slowly wider and wider as he contemplated that, until he just had to chuckle. It was such a typically Miyuki maneuver. He was so rarely straightforward about anything except the game itself.

And if that was the case then all those moments when Miyuki had tracked him down to ask for his advice, for his help, for his presence at a game, took on a different aspect. It was Miyuki’s actions Chris needed to be looking at, not his words. And Miyuki’s actions sought him out, reached out for him, hung near him even when Chris had been relentlessly turning away.

Chris sobered at that, remembering how harshly he had turned Miyuki in particular away at times. Small wonder that Miyuki only approached him with a cast-iron excuse in hand, lately. Which meant Miyuki might behave… unpredictably if Chris tried to talk to him about this. No catcher Chris knew liked being caught unprepared, and Miyuki moreso than most. Chris picked up his pencil and turned it through his fingers as he thought, tapping the end against his notes. Perhaps what he needed to do was answer Miyuki’s actions with actions, until Miyuki understood that he was welcome.

And then he paused, pencil suspended in mid-air.

I do welcome him, don’t I? he thought, a little wondering. That hadn’t been a question in his mind at all, as he thought about this. Only how to be sure, and how to let Miyuki be sure. Chris laughed softly to himself; however covert it might have been, Miyuki’s campaign for his attention had worked very well indeed.

Well, then, perhaps it was time he followed Miyuki’s example and acted on that.


Kazuya thought he was maybe getting used to this whole physical therapy thing. It didn’t feel like quite such a failure just to walk in the doors any more, at any rate.

And he could feel guilty that a lot of the reason for that was getting to talk with Chris at PT, or he could concentrate on enjoying getting to talk with Chris, and between the two he knew he was going to indulge in the latter for as long as he could. If that was a little pathetic, well so be it. There was a significant part of him that rolled over and basked in Chris’ attention every time he came over to check on Kazuya, and Kazuya felt he had come to terms with that. It wasn’t even about the feeling he couldn’t win against Chris, now, it was that… well, he wasn’t sure if winning was what he even wanted right now. Maybe it would be again some day. He was pretty sure it would, actually. But right now, when it was just the two of them…

“Did Chiyo-san let you increase the angle of your stretches, today?”

Kazuya looked up, completely unable to help how bright his grin was as Chris came and leaned against the weights beside his mat, looking quietly pleased. “Yeah, she did. She said if I don’t do anything stupid in the meantime she may let me try to lift some weight next week.”

Chris chuckled and held a hand down to him. “She thinks it’s possible you won’t do something stupid; that’s quite a concession. Congratulations.”

Kazuya reached up and let himself wrap his fingers around the corded strength of Chris’ forearm, and let Chris pull him easily up, and did not let his hand linger on Chris’. Much. Noticeably. He hoped. “I’ve been good!” he proclaimed. “I haven’t tried to practice at all.” Despite how completely unnatural that felt.

Chris clapped him gently on the shoulder, eyes steady on him. “I know.”

That understanding always made Kazuya’s jaw tighten, made him fight to keep his gaze level, because Chris had done this for a year. Having tasted just a few weeks of it, thinking about that made Kazuya feel something uncomfortably close to tears and just as close to awe. The hand on his shoulder tightened just a little, gave him a tiny shake, and Chris’ quiet smile turned grave, acknowledging, for a breath. And then it was just a smile and Kazuya could breathe again.

“Is one of the coaches picking you up, or are you on your own today?”

“Nope, I was allowed out all on my own,” Kazuya grinned.

“I’m sure Takishima-san needed the break,” Chris paused just long enough to be noticeable before continuing, perfectly straight-faced, “from so much driving.” A tiny smile curled his lips when Kazuya clutched his chest in exaggerated injury. “Not Ochiai-san either, though?”

Kazuya snorted softly, remembering the looks Ochiai-san had been giving him lately—sometimes thoughtful, sometimes exasperated, sometimes almost wistful in a way that made Kazuya wonder what kind of teams the man had had before them. The exasperation was a lot easier to understand, of course; Ochiai had obviously been thinking of Kazuya as one of his own kind, before they’d actually talked. Well, it wasn’t like Ochiai-san was the first to mistake his strategic sense for actual cool-headedness, and if he was staying on at Seidou as the voice of experience it was probably best that he learn now just how much Kazuya favored aggressive tactics. “He’s pretty busy still, seeing what everyone can do,” was all he said, though.

Chris’ eyes still narrowed thoughtfully at that, but he let it pass, which Kazuya was grateful for; he knew perfectly well he wouldn’t be able to hold out if Chris questioned him. He’d gotten so used to just talking with Chris, here, and… it felt really good. Just to talk. “I’ll see you back to school, then. Let’s go get changed.”

“Sure thing!” Kazuya grinned, firmly quashing a completely ridiculous rush of happiness at the thought of walking back to the dorm with Chris. Of riding the train back, with Chris. He made for the gym’s changing rooms, determined to stick his head under some cold water and hopefully stop being so absurd.

It really didn’t help that Chris followed along to change back into street clothes himself. As if it weren’t enough to be kind and talented and stoic, Chris was also nearly the platonic ideal of a catcher, all broad shoulders and powerful arms and heavily muscled thighs, big and solid enough to give anyone thinking of charging the plate pause and flexible enough to make any catch and fire the ball straight back, and Kazuya really needed to stop looking, before he embarrassed himself. Honestly, he’d made it through nearly two years of communal baths and living one thin wall away from Chris, and it was only now he was having trouble controlling himself. This was ridiculous. He towelled off briskly and hauled on his jeans, studiously keeping his eyes on his hands. It was harder than it should have been

He’d gotten used to having Chris near, these last few weeks. Maybe more used than he should have let himself. Before this, before he’d actually talked much with Chris, it had been easier. Not easy, not when the one he’d counted on competing with and honing himself against had vanished just as Kazuya had thought he’d caught up. But he’d been used to distance, really, he’d known how to deal with that. Having Chris smile, having him come over to see how Kazuya was doing, having him sit and talk after they’d both finished their exercises… that was actually a lot harder. Kazuya stuffed his feet into his sneakers, trying to ignore the warm feeling in his chest that came from just thinking about this.

“Ready to go?”

Kazuya looked up with an all-purpose grin to meet Chris’ small, easy smile and grabbed his sweatshirt to knot around his waist. “Sure thing, Chris-senpai.” He added the way the v-neck of Chris’ light sweater framed his throat and collarbones firmly to the list of things he was not going to think about and followed Chris out through the lobby.

The light was moving towards evening, starting to be cut off by the taller buildings and become an indirect glow. The flow of people was ebbing out toward that low point after the homeward rush and before people emerged again for food and entertainment. It felt a little strange to walk through that familiar flow of people, now; living in the sports dorms had put him out of step with the city’s rhythm. He felt a little separate from it, as if he and Chris were moving inside some kind of bubble, apart from the thinning crowd.

And maybe Chris felt it too. Maybe that was why he walked close, shoulders brushing now and then. This part of town was Chris’ own, as Kazuya was reminded when Chris steered them into the small arcade between two buildings, a glassed walkway overhead and tall bushes nearly hiding a couple vending machines.

“Here. I think I want a drink after today’s session.”

“Yeah, sure. Don’t blame you.” Kazuya followed the light press of Chris’ arm against his and leaned against the wall out of reach of the slightly overgrown shrubs while Chris fed coins to the drinks machine, settling deeper into not thinking about anything.

So he started a little when Chris tossed him a bottle. “Oh. Thanks.”

Chris gave him a wry smile. “I do remember that I’m your senpai, past evidence to the contrary aside.”

Kazuya’s attempts to not think collapsed in a rush of memory: Chris silent and stiff-shouldered, Chris turning away, Chris’s eyes resting on him only briefly, dark and flat. And he’d been holding on so hard to not-thinking-about-all-this that he wasn’t ready, and flinched. “Does this mean I get to make you buy dinner at the station?” he joked, trying to cover it.

Chris, unfortunately, had a catcher’s perception and attention to detail, and he stepped over to rest a hand on Kazuya’s shoulder. “Yes,” he agreed, quietly, “among other things. I know that will probably take a while for you to believe, after the last year and a half.”

“Of course it won’t, Chris-senpai,” Kazuya said, lower than he quite meant to, eyes on the bottle in his hands. “I mean, it’s you.”

He could feel the weight of Chris’ eyes on him, nearly tangible, thoughtful when he darted a glance up before looking back at his drink. When Chris spoke, his voice was soft, just between the two of them, as if the slowing traffic beyond the bushes and vending machines didn’t exist at all. As if the rest of the city didn’t exist. “Will you trust me, then?”

That startled Kazuya into looking all the way up, startled the words out of him before he managed to bite them off. “I’ve always—” Chris waited for him, when he broke off, not pressing but… inviting. With his quiet, with the ease of his whole stance, with his grave attention to Kazuya. Inviting him to go on. It shook him like no words of encouragement could have, and he swallowed hard.

“Let me ask something simpler, then,” Chris said, finally, as gentle with Kazuya as he was with the first-years. “Will you trust me now?”

Kazuya laughed, because he couldn’t help it, voiceless and unsteady. He’d never had anyone make it simpler for him, never had anyone make allowances, never needed it, and he’d always taken a hard pride in that. But this was Chris, and that bit of generosity and care made something in him yearn forward helplessly. “Yes, Chris-senpai,” he answered, half rueful, inviting Chris to share the irony of it all with a tilted smile.

Chris just smiled back, eyes warm. “Good.”

And then Chris leaned down and kissed him.

Kazuya’s thoughts just stopped, ploughing into a wall of blank white, because… there was no plan for this. No contingency. No response at the ready, because this was never going to happen. But it was definitely Chris leaning over him, Chris’ fingers gently nudging his chin up so Chris’ mouth could fit against his more firmly. And… that was his voice, wasn’t it, making those breathless little sounds, and his fingers curled in the soft knit of Chris’ sweater. When Chris let him go, he could only lean back against the bricks and stare up at him, at a thorough loss for words.

“Trust that I see you, now, and that I’m paying attention,” Chris told him, quiet and certain.

“I…” Kazuya wasn’t actually sure what to say about that, and wound up falling back on a husky, “Yes, Chris-senpai.”

Chris brushed another, lighter kiss over his lips and pressed a softer one to his forehead. “Come along, then, and I’ll take you back to campus.”

Kazuya just nodded and walked silently beside him, back out onto the sidewalk and toward the station, trying to sort out the rather dazed tangle of his thoughts.

It took him until they were on the train to even remember his drink.


Chris let the quiet between he and Miyuki linger as they walked from the station back to campus. He’d ambushed Miyuki a bit, and while Miyuki reacted superbly well under pressure, a counter-attack wasn’t exactly the kind of response Chris wanted from him. So he let Miyuki think things over silently until they reached the school-buildings. In the shadow of the south wing he finally laid a hand on Miyuki’s shoulder, halting them, and murmured, “Will you be all right on your own, the rest of the way?”

Miyuki blinked and shook himself a little. “Yeah, of course.”

Chris’ mouth quirked at that obviously reflex answer. He still didn’t want to push Miyuki, though, not tonight, so he contented himself with a soft, “Good.” He smiled, gentle and encouraging, and added, “Remember that you can come to me without needing an excuse anymore, all right?”

Miyuki nodded, but Chris still had a hand on his shoulder and could feel the faint tension that threaded through him. He shook his head ruefully; he should have known Miyuki would still be uncertain. “Miyuki. Come here.” Miyuki stiffened more, eyes going rather wide as Chris pulled him close, gathered him in and held him.

“Senpai?” There was a lost note lurking in Miyuki’s voice, and it roused an unexpected protectiveness in Chris. He let the feeling guide him, let his arms tighten until Miyuki was settled firmly against him, hands coming up in fits and starts to close on Chris’ back.

“Will you mind if I start coming to find you, too?” he murmured, against Miyuki’s hair.

Some of Miyuki’s tension eased, the deeper tension Chris thought. “No,” Miyuki said, very quietly against his shoulder. “No, I… I won’t mind.” Chris smiled as Miyuki’s body relaxed against his, little by little.

“Good.”

This time he gave Miyuki more time to respond to him, sliding his fingers into the softness of Miyuki’s hair and tipping his head gently back until Chris could kiss him, slow and sure. And this time Miyuki answered him, hesitant but not hiding anything as he opened his mouth under Chris’, pressing closer. He was flushed when Chris finally drew back, and Chris had to restrain a suggestion that they retire to Miyuki’s room right now. He rested his forehead against Miyuki’s and repeated, voice lower this time, “Come and see me on your own account, Kauzya. You are very welcome.”

Miyuki wet his lips, and the curl of heat that sent through Chris made him remind himself sternly that he was going to give Miyuki time to get used to this. The softness in Miyuki’s reply spoke of lingering uncertainty, for all his willingness. “I will, Chris-senpai.”

Chris nodded, satisfied, and held him closer in the shadow of the tall class-room building, smiling a little wryly when Miyuki’s forehead came to rest against his shoulder, hiding Miyuki’s expression. “You don’t have to trust easily,” he murmured against Miyuki’s ear, holding him fast when Miyuki tensed again. “Only believe what your own senses tell you. That isn’t too hard, is it?”

An unvoiced laugh shook Miyuki, but his arms tightened around Chris. “I’ll try,” he whispered.

A rush of tenderness wound through Chris’ chest, warm and light. “Then I have no doubt you will.” He had Miyuki’s stubbornness to thank for this very moment, after all. “I’ll demonstrate that for you as often as you need.”

Miyuki finally lifted his head and smiled up at Chris, crooked and ironic as ever, but with a slow, cautious happiness behind it. “Okay.”

Chris kissed him one more time, chasing away the tilt to his mouth, and smiled down at him. “Good.”

They would be well; he was sure of it, now. Their shared time, these last few weeks, was already witness to how far both of them would go to keep from losing, when it was important. The lean, quiet strength of Miyuki in his arms, the slow, shy relaxation of Miyuki’s body against his… this was important.

So this, he wouldn’t lose.

End

At Your Fingertips

Miyuki Kazuya tended to watch people’s hands. He watched their whole bodies whenever they were throwing, of course, but especially their hands. It was the hands that told you exactly where the ball was going. And, of course, he watched his pitchers’ hands still more closely, looking there to see the first signs of strain, of exhaustion, of confidence, of nerves. You could just about read a pitcher’s mind by watching his hands, if you knew what to look for.

So it wasn’t as though it was strange that he should find his attention taken up by Chris-senpai’s hands, even if he was another catcher. Chris’ hands were as impressive as the rest of him, broad and limber and strong, fingers always so certain in their grip on a ball or in the quick flash of signs. Watching Chris handle the ball sometimes sent Kazuya’s thoughts wandering down rare paths of what-if.

What if Kazuya had chosen differently, all those years ago at the start of his baseball days? What if he’d followed after the power of his arm and shoulder, instead of his eye and mind? What if he’d come to Seidou as a pitcher, instead of a catcher?

Admittedly, he wasn’t at all sure he’d have ever mastered the prima donna grandstanding that so many pitchers seemed to feel it was their positive duty to cultivate. But he’d always had the flexibility and strength to be a very good pitcher, and if he’d followed that path he knew he’d have relentlessly pursued the control required to be excellent. He didn’t believe in holding back, once he’d made a choice. He doubted it would have made any difference in his middle school team; a pitcher couldn’t carry a mediocre team all alone, any more than a catcher could, and he doubted he’d have been much more loved on the mound than behind the plate. Focusing on the batters from the front wouldn’t have blunted his perception of his own team, or the edge of his tongue any. He’d never had the least patience for half-hearted play. But if he’d been a pitcher, then he thought he’d have seen Takigawa Chris Yuu in a different light, when they’d met.

He’d still have followed Chris to Seidou, but not as his rival or his goal. No. Chris would have been a potential partner. His catcher. The sharp eye and mind he could trust to make the game. The strong hand he could trust to catch and hold even him.

The thought made him smile as he traced his fingertips along the tendons of Chris’ hand where it rested on his hip, just above the white line of the sheets.

“You’re smiling,” Chris murmured, catching Kazuya’s chin and stroking a slow thumb along his lower lip. “What are you thinking about?”

Kazuya let his tongue dart out to lap softly at Chris’ thumb, coaxing it back so Kazuya could wrap his lips around it and suck on it softly, watching Chris’ eyes darken in the golden, late afternoon light. When Chris pressed his thumb deeper, sliding over Kazuya’s tongue and pressing down to hold it still, heat twisted low in his stomach and he couldn’t help a soft, wordless moan. He enjoyed Chris’ control, even now. As Chris’ pitcher, he might have pushed enough to make Chris prove himself, but he knew he’d have given way in the end, given himself and all his strength into Chris’ hands. Chris was the only one he thought he could have trusted enough, and they would have been unstoppable. “I was just thinking about your hands,” he answered, husky, when Chris finally drew his thumb back.

Chris smiled, tracing slow fingers up the bare length of Kazuya’s spine to slide into his hair. “Ah? Anything in particular about them?” He drew Kazuya’s head back, gentle and relentless, and kissed him very thoroughly. Kazuya was a little light-headed with the heat winding through him by the time Chris let him go, and maybe that was why he answered with what was uppermost in his mind.

“How much I trust them.”

Chris’ smile softened, and he gathered Kazuya closer against him, leaning back against the headboard of the bed. “Thank you for that honor,” he said, so quiet and so sure and so gentle that Kazuya couldn’t do anything but curl into his arms and bury his head against Chris’ shoulder.

They stayed like that for a while, and Kazuya slowly settled under the steady warmth of Chris’ hand on his back. The only hands strong enough to hold him.

End

Long, Like Memory

His mother always combed his hair for school.

“Kazuya! Breakfast!”

He thumped down the stairs, dragging his book bag behind him by one strap. “Coming!” He scrambled up into his chair at the table, across from his dad who had the morning paper folded beside his plate, and grinned up at his mother as she set his smaller plate in front of him. Her eyes danced when she laughed.

“Oh, Kazuya.” Cool fingers smoothed back his hair, which he’d splashed water on this morning to try to make it lie down flat. It had… kind of worked. “Hold still for a moment, sweetheart.”

He stuffed a piece of toast in his mouth first, but then held obediently still while the comb tugged gently through his hair, smoothing the top down and the sides back so they didn’t fluff out. He could never figure out how she did it. Even his dad couldn’t do it; the time he’d tried, when Kaa-san had been too tired out to get up one morning, Kazuya’s hair had stuck up all over, and they’d both had exactly the same helpless look in the mirror, and his mother had laughed and laughed when he’d gone to say goodbye before leaving, even though it made her cough.

So he sat still every morning while she combed his hair and finished with a pat. “There you go! Eat up, now, so you have energy for the whole day.”

Kazuya promptly shoveled rice into his mouth. “Thank you, Kaa-san!”

“Swallow before talking,” his dad directed, completing the final morning step with a shake of his head and a tiny quirk at the corner of his mouth. It got a little bigger when Kazuya swallowed and smiled back at him, wide and happy.

Kazuya liked mornings.

(He never did figure out how his mother had made his hair so neat, and eventually he stopped trying. Maybe it really was the pat that did it.)


The first time Kazuya put on a catcher’s skull-cap, it flattened his hair right into his eyes.

“You’re going to need to push your hair back as you put it on,” the coach said, and Kazuya could hear the laugh the man was holding down under the faint wobble in his voice.

A few tries to swipe his hair back fast enough to get the helmet over it and the coach was coughing unconvincingly into his fist, so Kazuya relieved the poor guy by laughing himself. “I’ll practice at home!” he promised, reaching for his water bottle. Water was pretty much the only way he’d ever gotten his hair to lie down, even a little.

He ignored the stares on the train home. The older kids had already had a good laugh over how his hair was sticking up, after practice. At home, he carefully followed the directions in his mother’s old cookbook to make dinner the way she couldn’t any more, standing on the step-stool and pinning faintly stained and heat-stiffened pages under two cups. After eating, he carefully wrapped his dad’s portion for when he finally came in from the workshop. And then he took the odd, brim-less helmet upstairs to practice in front of the bathroom mirror. The helmet was a lot heavier than his cloth cap, and he couldn’t duck into it quite the same way. His forehead was a little scraped up by the time he thought he had the hang of it. But that was okay. He’d learned how to doctor his own scrapes lately, and he thought he was getting pretty good at it.

After a few months of having the catcher’s mask get caught in the hair sticking out the sides of the skull-cap, he asked Fukuda-san, the barber, if he could make the sides shorter and answered the man’s jovial comments about growing up and paying attention to his looks with a wide grin. It kept most people from wanting any more of an answer. Frankly, he thought the way Fukuda-san trimmed and fussily shaped the hair in front of his ears looked a little silly, but it did get rid of the clumps over his ears when he was wearing the catcher’s equipment, so that was fine.

(He only thought once about how brightly his mother would have laughed to see, and then he made himself not think about that again.)


“You should do something with your hair,” Kuramochi said out of the blue on afternoon, as they waited for the math teacher. He had turned around in his chair and was squinting rather judgmentally at Kazuya’s hair. Which, admittedly, was probably sticking up a bit from where Kazuya had his fingers shoved into it while he leaned his head on one hand and tried not to fall asleep. Batting angles and distances were doodled in the margins of his notebook around last week’s far more boring details on how to calculate the missing angle of a quadrilateral.

“Mm.” He turned the area equation around to calculate diameter and made a face. What good was this to know, anyway? What really mattered was the angle and spin of the ball as it came in…

“Seriously, you look like an upside-down mop most days,” Kuramochi prodded, and Kazuya finally slouched back in his seat with a snort.

“You’re the last one I want to hear that from, Hair Cream-san.”

“Hey!” Kuramochi ducked the class rep’s dirty look and hissed, “I do not use hair cream!”

“Not anymore,” Miyuki agreed sunnily, and stifled a laugh at Kuramochi’s growl. The guy should know better than to play this game with Kazuya, especially considering the photographic evidence passed around by Kuramochi’s third-year roommate and foresightfully secured by Kazuya. “Besides,” he added, more to the point, “why should I bother when I spend all my time with my hair mashed down under one helmet or another?”

“There are some times we’re not playing,” Kuramochi said, but only half-heartedly and Kazuya didn’t dignify it with an answer. They both knew that time boiled down to class hours and not much else. It was one reason Kazuya was at Seidou, after all.

The math teacher finally slid the door open and the class rep called “Stand!” Under the scrape of chairs and shuffle of feet, Kuramochi muttered, “You look like a little kid, still, as long as no one can see your eyes. It’s just weird.”

Kazuya was distantly glad that Kuramochi was sitting in front of him, and not behind. He had sharp eyes, and might have wondered about Kazuya’s stillness before Kazuya could get it under control again.

(He hadn’t even tried to comb his hair back for almost four years. Three years, ten months, and twenty-three days, actually, but who was counting?)


The first-years were gathered around one corner of their usual table, whispering over something, and Miyuki craned his neck for a look as he went past with his dinner tray. It was always good to know what they were up to, especially given Sawamura’s moments of amusingly bizarre behavior. Kazuya knew there was no way on earth the boy had been raised in a dojo, but sometimes Sawamura acted like he wanted to have been, or had maybe been raised on the movie set of one. There were really times that Sawamura’s dramatics reminded him of Mei, and he was saving up that observation to tell them both, so he could see what kind of fits they both pitched over it.

“…he looks so young!” Haruichi was saying.

“Well, it is from when he was in middle school,” Kanemaru pointed out, but trailed off at the end as if he too were struck by the apparent youth of whoever they were talking about.

“And he was amazing even then!” Sawamura sounded vastly enthused, but Kazuya didn’t put much weight on that. Sawamura usually sounded enthused over whatever he was talking about, including dorm chores. More usefully, his expansive gesturing made several other first-years duck and Kazuya caught a glimpse of the old paper they were gathered around. There was a large picture of Chris-senpai on the front of the section, looking very much as Kazuya remembered him from two years ago. He smiled a little to himself and strolled on. No harm in a little hero-worship now and then; if it weren’t Chris it would probably have been one of this year’s MVPs or something.

“What are the first-years up to?” Kuramochi asked as Kazuya sat down across from him.

Kazuya cast a quick eye over the third-year tables to make sure Chris wasn’t there yet before he smirked and said, clearly enough to carry to the first-years, “They’re discussing how cute Chris-senpai was in middle school.”

Sawamura’s outraged protest rose over the snickering, and even Kuramochi’s cackle, and Kazuya took a composed bite of his dinner. Every now and then he wondered if maybe getting a rise out of Sawamura was beneath him as too easy, but the kid’s reactions were great. It was like sugar candy—no nutritional value at all but still tasty. It was probably a doubly good thing Kazuya had turned Mei down, now he thought about it; he’d have gotten metaphorical cavities for sure, in a battery with Mei, who rose to the bait just as easily.

Chris’ entrance provoked another flurry, this time to hide the newspaper, and Kazuya snickered some more.

As dinner conversation turned to classes and practice, though, the image of a younger Chris stuck in the back of his head. Chris-senpai was actually looking a lot more like he had back then, now; aiming Sawamura at him had definitely been a good idea. The memory of Chris from their middle school match, of all that sun-bright talent and brilliant game-making, was so clear in Kazuya’s mind that it was actually startling to look up and see Chris pass their table, taller and broader, still with that shining presence but more dignified now, all his edges sleek and tucked-in.

The thought that Chris-senpai was the only one Kazuya would trust to comb his hair back, smooth and neat like it used to be, was so unexpected, sneaking past the things Kazuya didn’t let himself think about, that its arrival was like a shock up his spine.

He must have shown it somehow, because Chris-senpai paused and glanced down at him, questioning. “Miyuki-kun? Is something wrong?”

Kazuya shook himself and grinned up at Chris. “Nope, all good!”

Chris’ eyes held his for a suspended, breathless moment before he nodded quietly and moved on to the third-years’ tables.

“Guess the first-years aren’t the only ones with crushes, huh?” Kuramochi asked, grinning wickedly.

Kazuya rolled his eyes and flicked his hand dismissively. “Like anyone in this whole club, yeah.” He swallowed another bite and gave Kuramochi a toothy smile. “Not always on Chris-senpai, of course.”

Kuramochi glared, but they’d been holding Chris-senpai and Kominato-senpai over each other’s heads for more than a year and Kazuya knew neither of them would actually rat the other out. In his more honest moments he admitted, ruefully, that they were both obvious enough there was probably no point in doing so. They were probably lucky the senpai remembered their own little crushes and were relatively kind about such things, for values of “kind” that could be “not very” in Kominato’s case, and sometimes he really did wonder about Kuramochi’s taste. Youthful days of high school in a sports dorm, he supposed. It probably made them all a little crazy.

So he kicked Kuramochi lightly under the table and said, “Anyway, about batters for fall, has Zono noticed anyone new who’s a good contact hitter, besides Toujou?”

Kuramochi scowled at his rice. “Not really, and that’s going to be a pain. Asou might be a decent power hitter if he doesn’t drop out during summer training, but it’s going to be a weaker line-up at this rate…”

They traded names around mouthfuls of stew, and badgered Zono for more when he came back from getting seconds, and Kazuya settled back into dealing with things he knew were possible.

(He took the thought of Chris-senpai’s fingers moving through his hair and closed it carefully up in a mental box, and put the box on a mental shelf beside his mother’s.)

(Just because he didn’t think about some things didn’t mean he forgot them.)

End

Flirting With…

Imayoshi Shouichi was enjoying himself.

So was his current partner, to judge by the sounds Kasamatsu was making, and Shouichi leaned closer, pressing Kasamatsu more firmly up against the wall to purr in his ear, “Careful, now.  You don’t want anyone looking down here, do you?”

Kasamatsu pushed him back far enough to glare at him in the dimness of the arena service hall they were currently taking advantage of.  “Like you’d care,” he hissed.  “You like doing this practically in public.”

Shouichi smiled charmingly at his favorite rival, mostly to hear the way it made Kasamatsu growl.  “So do you,” he pointed out, sliding a hand down to cup Kasamatsu’s cock, which was very definitely hard by now.  Kasamatsu bucked into his hand with a stifled gasp before catching his breath.

"I," he told Shouichi in a dire, if very hushed, tone, "need to learn to duck faster every time I see you off the damn court."  

Of course, he immediately undercut the pronouncement by tangling his fingers back in Shouichi’s hair and pulling him down to another kiss, hot and fierce.  Shouichi laughed into his mouth; he loved playing with Kasamatsu, both on the court and off.  “So what,” he murmured against Kasamatsu’s mouth, “would you think if I turned you around and fucked you just like this?”

"I’d think you were dreaming."  Kasamatsu’s voice was amazingly dry for a whisper.  There was a glint in his eyes, though, one Shouichi recognized, and a grin curled his lips as he waited for the next part.  "If you wanted to put that mouth of yours to another use, though, I might just let you."

Shouichi laughed at that challenge.  He loved how sharp Kasamatsu’s edges could get, and how subtle they could be.  “That might be fun, yeah.”  He slid down to his knees on the dusty tile floor, grinning up at Kasamatsu as he hooked his fingers in Kasamatsu’s waistband and pulled it down.  “Let’s find out.  And see how quiet you can be while I’m making that ‘better use’ of my mouth.”

Kasamatsu’s eyes on him turned hot and dark, and he slid his fingers through Shouichi’s hair, tugging him closer.  “Yeah, let’s.”

Shouichi wrapped his mouth around Kasamatsu’s cock and purred a bit at the very satisfying way he moaned.  That was a good start, and so was the way Kasamatsu’s fingers tightened in his hair.  He sucked hard, reaching up to pin Kasamatsu’s hips to the wall when they bucked forward.

"You are such a bastard," Kasamatsu gasped.  "I don’t know why I keep agreeing to this."

Shouichi’s brows rose and he drew back long enough to murmur, “What, really?”

Kasamatsu bared his teeth, laughing low and breathless.  “Well, maybe I do.”  

Shouichi smiled back, sharp, and let Kasamatsu pull him back in, sucking down the thickness of his cock and humming around it.  He liked it when Kasamatsu admitted just how wicked his edge could be.

He also liked the sounds Kasamatsu was making, husky and low, louder whenever Shouichi tongued him, but then caught back at once.  It was hot, hearing how conscious Kasamatsu was that they were in a public place, that this might be a service hall but it wasn’t that far from the changing rooms teams had been assigned, thinking about what they would look like if anyone happened to pass by and glance down this side hall.

Kasamatsu was starting to arch taut under his hands when Shouichi heard footsteps.

Kasamatsu’s fingers tightened in his hair, and his moan had a desperate edge.  He was too close to hold back now.  Maybe he didn’t even want to.  Shouichi sucked on him harder, fingers digging into the lean muscle of Kasamatsu’s thighs, and Kasamatsu shuddered against the wall, making hoarse, stifled sounds as he came.  Shouichi licked at him, half his attention on the footsteps tapping and scuffing down the hall.  Closer.  

Past the service hall they were in.

Shouichi closed his eyes and let himself feel the hot thrill of how close they were to being seen, being discovered like this, let it run through him and pull him right down after Kasamatsu.  He clutched Kasamatsu’s thighs, swaying against him as heat wrung him out hard, pulsing through him sweet and wild.  When it finally ebbed again, he leaned his forehead against Kasamatsu’s hip, panting.

Kasamatsu’s fingers combed through Shouichi’s hair and he murmured, “Pervert.”  There was a laugh under the softness of his voice, though, and Shouichi looked up to flash him a smirk.  They both knew Kasamatsu didn’t actually have any room to talk.

"So."  He levered himself back to his feet.  "Think that’ll take the edge off until we actually play tomorrow?"

Kasamatsu pulled his pants back up and stretched against the wall, lazy and satisfied.  “I suppose so.  Probably.”  He laughed at the mock-indignant look Shouichi gave him and leaned in to nip at Shouichi’s lower lip.  “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Shouichi caught him close for long enough to kiss him, hot and intent; a teaser for the next day.  “Until then.”

He stored away the flash of Kasamatsu’s eyes to tide him over until they could meet on the court.

And maybe after.

End

Ebooks Are Back

The ebooks-tree assholes have gone down, so open access to my epubs and mobis is back! To celebrate, have a story I’ve been meaning to post for a while.

Ebooks Down

Thanks to the assholes at Ebooks-tree.com hotlinking to my ebooks in a way that is not easily prevented, ebooks are currently password-protected. They will return to open access as soon as the aforementioned assholes are shut down.

In the meantime, the log-in to download ebook formats (or view cover art) is “Guest” and “FuckEbook-tree.com”.

Evening of Primroses

One

Taiga had resisted for a long time, because there was such a thing as going down fighting, but the plain fact was that Aomine was cute when he was snitching food off someone.  Taiga wouldn’t have believed it if he hadn’t seen it, but Aomine did that thing where his eyes got brighter and he laughed while he made grabby hands at his target’s bento.  The thing was, he let himself be elbowed off, and only sidled back in for another try when he knew his target was watching.  It was a game.  At first Taiga had thought it was just to make Tetsuya pay attention to him, but then he’d started doing it to Taiga too, and that look Taiga kept seeing on Aomine’s face when he went to snitch another of Taiga’s meatballs was… 

Okay, fine, so he was probably just a sucker; Taiga admitted it.  He sighed as he forked noodles into the extra layer of bento boxes that he’d gotten new this week.  He was starting to have a lot more sympathy for Momoi, lately, seriously. And if this had only been more of Aomine’s competitive streak then he’d have been more than happy to fight it out to the death over the last croquette.  It was just…

The way Daiki looked at him, sidelong and uncertain under the laugh, made his chest ache.

Two

Daiki liked sitting against Tetsu’s knees.  He liked being able to rest his head in Tetsu’s lap and feel Tetsu’s fingers run lightly through his hair.  And this way he could feel Tetsu laughing silently whenever Daiki made disparaging remarks at the television.

(Seriously, not even Daiki took risks that dumb; none of these guys should last ten minutes, let alone the whole hour and a half of an action movie.)

What was still a little stranger was to feel Kagami’s arm draped over his other shoulder from where he was sprawled out on the couch behind Tetsu like some kind of extra pillow.  Kagami was actually the one who’d suggested movie night in the first place, and he just seemed to take it for granted that there was no reason for him not to lean against Daiki, or smack him on the shoulder when he talked over the dialog, or stroke a warm hand down Daiki’s neck when he got up to get more drinks.

It felt… good.  

And if, sometimes, Daiki pressed back a little into Taiga’s arm and maybe even purred a little at the way Taiga’s thumb rubbed over his nape, well that was just a natural reaction, wasn’t it?  Really, Tetsu had no reason to be smiling down at them so softly.

He turned his head a little further into Tetsu’s lap and tried not to think too hard about why the warmth of Taiga’s hand made his shoulders relax.

Three

Tetsuya would never admit it out loud, but he actually kind of liked how big his partners were, how completely he was enclosed when they both held him. It felt warm and secure, and he was more than willing to cuddle shamelessly down into that feeling.

Though he did have to roll his eyes, sometimes, at the way they bickered over his head.

"We are totally going to win this round, and you’re going down," Taiga declared firmly, at complete odds with the gentle way his hands were kneading up Daiki’s back.

"Already did that once today," Daiki smirked back.  "That’s all you’re getting."  The smirk was lazy, though, and he leaned into Taiga’s hands, snuggling Tetsuya closer into the curve of his body.

If it wasn’t so cute, Tetsuya might give them both a good jab in the ribs to remind them that they weren’t just playing a one-on-one, this weekend.  But it really was that cute, so he reached up to slide his fingers into Taiga’s hair and tug him down to a kiss, instead.  It worked just as well, in the end, and Daiki made a soft sound and bent his head to press a kiss to Tetsuya’s shoulder.  When Tetsuya reached back to stroke his fingers through Daiki’s hair as well, Daiki settled comfortably against his back, and Tetsuya smiled softly against Taiga’s mouth.  This was good, having both of them here, solid and warm, wrapped around him as close as it was possible to get.

He wouldn’t let this go.

End

A/N: In ikebana, primrose is used to indicate hope.

Fitting to the Crime

Kasamatsu Yukio liked to think that he was a straightforward kind of guy. He could blindside opponents as well as any other point guard, and better than most in fact, but that was different. That was just good strategy. Friends and classmates and, for that matter, lovers, weren’t a matter for strategy. So it took him a few minutes, especially in the afterglow of pretty damn good sex, to realize what Ryouta’s little sidelong glances meant. When he did, he couldn’t help laughing, pulling Ryouta tighter against him and ruffling his already rumpled gold hair. “You’re just insatiable, aren’t you?”

Ryouta’s cheek heated against Yukio’s shoulder as he ducked his head, but he was smiling, shy and hopeful. And since Yukio didn’t have to be Ryouta’s captain any more, and it wasn’t one of Ryouta’s infuriating pretend ploys, Yukio let fond indulgence curl warmly through him and cuddled Ryouta comfortably against him. He didn’t mind playing their other game, today, if Ryouta wanted it. “So,” he murmured, carding his fingers through that bright hair, “were you good for your senpai at practice today?”

Ryouta made a tiny, gleeful sound at the question, and the offer in it, before composing himself appropriately. “I’m afraid not, senpai.” The way he bent his head would have looked genuinely contrite except for the sparkle of his eyes as he looked up under his lashes.

“No?” Yukio gave him a stern look, setting his fingers under Ryouta’s chin to tip his head up and meet Yukio’s eyes. “What did you do, Ryouta?”

“Well, Hayakawa-senpai was trying to beat his own record for successful passes after a rebound.” Ryouta already sounded a little breathless, eyes wide under Yukio’s steady gaze. “And I just mentioned that maybe it would help if he kept his energy up longer, and that I had a spare bottle of Yunker Fanti. Nakamura-senpai said that really wasn’t the problem, but Hayakawa-senpai had already drunk the whole bottle.”

Yukio had to bite his tongue hard to keep from bursting out laughing; he suspected Ryouta deliberately thought up answers to that question that would make him laugh, and Yukio just hoped he wasn’t actually putting them into practice. Honestly, if Ryouta was really doing half the things he said he did when they played like this it was a wonder Nakamura hadn’t strangled him yet. The thought of Hayakawa after even one slug of an energy drink didn’t bear thinking on, and a whole bottle was downright terrifying to contemplate. When he thought he could control his voice again, he frowned at Ryouta. “That definitely wasn’t being good for your senpai. You know what it means when you misbehave, don’t you?”

Ryouta lowered his eyes and wet his lips as a flush slid up his fair skin. “Yes, senpai,” he said, soft and husky.

Yukio sat up, sliding back until he could ball up a pillow against the headboard at his back, and tapped his outstretched thigh meaningfully. “Get in position, then, and take what’s coming to you.”


Ryouta was a little breathless with anticipation by the time he’d laid himself down over Yukio-san’s lap. Sometimes they did it differently; sometimes Yukio-san made him bend over with his hands on the wall, or kneel on the seat of the desk chair and hold on to its back. This was how he liked it best, though, so that he could relax with Yukio-san’s hand on his back steadying him while the other hand rubbed his obediently presented ass slow and sure. Yukio-san was always careful about preparing him for a spanking, and that always made Ryouta hard, feeling the slow slide of Yukio-san’s palm and not knowing when his punishment would start.

In fact, sometimes Yukio-san took long enough for Ryouta to get a little impatient.

“Senpai,” he lilted, and then yelped when Yukio-san smacked his ass once, sharply.

“Be quiet, Ryouta,” Yukio-san told him sternly, squeezing the faintly stinging spot.

Ryouta shivered and subsided as he was told, waiting while anticipation wound tighter. And tighter. When Yukio-san finally lifted his hand and brought it down firmly, he yelped and jumped even though it didn’t hurt very much at all. This time, though, Yukio-san wasn’t stopping, and each smack of his palm against Ryouta’s bare ass was a little harder than the last. Ryouta’s breath came shorter as the slowly growing sting of the blows built to a hot burn across his bottom. He was gasping with each firm stroke, and still Yukio-san held Ryouta down over his lap and spanked him steadily, until he lost count of the strokes, until he felt like his whole body was suspended from that slow burn, all his attention focused on how briskly Yukio-san’s hand met his upturned ass. He was moaning a little by the time Yukio-san paused, running his warm hand up and down Ryouta’s thigh.

“Are you sorry for what you did, yet?” Yukio-san asked sternly, and Ryouta blushed against the cool sheets under his cheek. Most of him was swept up in the heat of being punished by Senpai, but part of him was also warmed that Yukio-san was so good to him, so careful with him.

He didn’t want it to end yet, though, so he answered with perfect truthfulness, “No, Senpai.”

“Tch. Of course not.”

Ryouta bucked, eyes widening as Yukio-san spanked him ten times, fast and hard. By the end of it he was draped over Yukio-san’s lap, legs spread, panting for breath against the sharp burn throbbing in his ass. And also in his cock.

“You are naughty today,” Yukio-san murmured, and that hint of a purr in his voice as his hand rubbed circles over Ryouta’s bottom made Ryouta moan.

“Yes, Senpai,” he agreed, breathless, forehead pressed to the sheets, eager for his punishment to continue.

He didn’t have to wait long. Yukio-san’s hand on his back spread, holding him down, and the hand on his ass lifted. When it fell again, it came down with a crack of skin against skin and a fierce, hard sting across his burning cheeks. And again. And again. Ryouta whimpered, hungry for the intensity of those blows, for the certainty of being punished by Senpai.

“Look at you,” Yukio-san told him softly. Crack. Ryouta bucked over his lap at the sharp bite of Senpai’s hand on his ass.

“This is how a naughty boy should look.” Crack. Ryouta’s toes were curling up with every stroke.

“Bent over his senpai’s knee with his ass turning red from getting the spanking he deserves.” Crack. Ryouta whined, mouth open as he gasped for breath. His ass was on fire, and he was so hard, hard from the things Yukio-san was saying, hard from how much he was feeling. Two more of those punishing strokes, though, and he could feel his shoulders tightening, feel himself pressing up against the edge of too much. “Please, Senpai!” he gasped out.

Yukio-san brought his hand down one more time, hard and merciless. It was perfect, the perfect reminder that Yukio-san was the one in charge, the one who would choose how Ryouta was punished. All in a breath, Ryouta was over the edge, coming hard as he shuddered over Yukio-san’s lap and Yukio-san squeezed his burning bottom, slow and firm. For long, endless moments, Ryouta’s whole body was wringing out with the heat Yukio-san had spanked into his ass, and Ryouta just clutched at the sheets and moaned with it.

When he finally relaxed, draped across Yukio-san’s lap and dazed, Yukio-san told him softly, “Good, Ryouta. That was good.” His hands were gentle, now, as he rubbed Ryouta’s back slow and sure, grounding him again, and Ryouta sighed a little, eyes closed. Those words reminded him there would be arms to catch him and hold him as he came back down, so he let himself drift.


Yukio watched Ryouta carefully as he rubbed Ryouta’s back slow and easy, and nodded when Ryouta finally stirred and stretched a little. “Come here, Ryouta,” he coaxed quietly, guiding Ryouta up off his lap and back into his arms. “That’s right. Everything’s all right.” He leaned back against his pillows, ignoring the mess across the sheets and his thighs for now, and drawing Ryouta down against his chest so he could lie without any pressure on his rear. He held Ryouta close, running slow fingers through his hair, until Ryouta finally sighed and looked up, smiling. “All right?” Yukio asked, touching his cheek.

Ryouta nodded and snuggled closer. “It’s good. Thank you, Yukio-san.”

Yukio kissed his forehead gently. “My pleasure. You know that.”

“I meant…” Ryouta started, and Yukio laid a finger over his lips.

“All of it is my pleasure,” he said, firmly. “Including watching over you and taking care of you.”

Ryouta turned pink and ducked his head against Yukio’s shoulder. Yukio smiled softly, stroking his hair again. It was true; he liked knowing Ryouta would submit to punishment from him, and he liked just as much knowing that he could take care of Ryouta.

This care, this charge, this responsibility, he had succeeded in. Without question.

He cradled Ryouta closer, satisfied.

End

Sun-warmed

One of the things that had come as a surprise to Taiga—and this was saying something considering that he’d never, ever expected to be in a B&D relationship, let alone a threesome of the same—one of the things was that Daiki was a cuddler when they were together.  At first, he’d used the couch as an excuse; it was a good excuse, because Taiga’s couch was only two cushions while Daiki’s couch sagged in the middle.  But it hadn’t taken long before the only excuse Daiki needed was for Taiga to be in arm’s reach, and pretty soon he’d be wrapped around Taiga like a blanket.

Taiga liked it.  It was just unexpected.

If he’d expected anything, it was that they’d be kind of like they were on the court, where they pushed each other until they were both swaying on their feet and gasping for air.  It was wild and hot and intense, which seemed to be what Daiki liked best.  That was how they were in bed, a lot of the time.  It was out of bed and off the court that Daiki turned quiet and cuddly like this.

Taiga stared up at the ceiling of Daiki’s room, running his fingers slowly through Daiki’s short, sleek hair, and finally decided he would ask.  “Hey.”  He spoke softly in the afternoon quiet of the room.  

Daiki stirred, only to wind tighter around him, like a cat who wanted to keep Taiga right where he was, and made an inquiring noise against his shoulder.

Taiga smiled a little helplessly and cuddled Daiki closer, breathing out a sigh at the warm weight of him.  “I never thought you’d be this relaxed around me,” he murmured against Daiki’s hair.

Daiki shrugged a lazy shoulder.  “Easy to relax.  You didn’t let me down.”

Taiga’s smile turned wry.  “Yeah, but you usually relax by dragging me onto the nearest court and trying to beat me until we’re both falling over.”

Daiki roused long enough to poke him in the chest.  “Hey.  What do you mean ‘try’?”  He flopped back down heavily, driving Taiga’s breath out, and wrapped back around him.  After a moment, he added, “You’re Tetsu’s.”

Well, okay, yeah, that made some sense.  Taiga settled under Daiki, hand sliding up to rub his back.  “Anything he wants, hm?”

"Well, that too."  Daiki tilted his head back to look at Taiga, so perfectly serene that Taiga’s breath caught.  "Tetsu makes things happen right.  Whatever it takes."

"Yeah," Taiga said quietly after a few seconds.  "Yeah, he does."  As Daiki curled back up with a satisfied sound, Taiga held him close, deliberately setting down his doubts and expectations and just accepting Daiki’s warmth against him.  He had his answer, and it was a good one.

Tetsuya did make things happen right.  But maybe he also needed his partners to help him do it.

Taiga smiled up at the ceiling and held Daiki closer.

End

Ring Led

Daiki remembered that he’d asked Tetsu once, years ago after actually meeting Tetsu’s mom, whether he minded that his mom was away so often, traveling for work. He’d been curious. She’d seemed like the kind of parent a person could actually miss having around. He remembered that Tetsu had smiled and said that she was such a good mother when she was there that it lasted him through the times she wasn’t. At the time, Daiki had wondered if it could actually work that way, but he knew kind of what Tetsu had meant, now. Daiki’s collar was like that for him. (Even though he’d nearly sprained his neck trying to shake the idea out of his head when it first occurred to him, because he really didn’t want to be thinking about any parents at all in connection with collar-stuff.)

In any case, he was glad that Tetsu’s mom was off traveling tonight, because that meant that he and Tetsu and Taiga were all staying over at Tetsu’s house, and he needed that more than usual tonight.

Daiki fidgeted a little, on the walk from the station to Tetsu’s
house, the way he’d been fidgeting all day, having to hold himself back to keep from walking faster the closer they got. He didn’t think the other two had noticed that, but as
soon as they hung up their coats in the front hall Tetsu’s eyes
narrowed at him. Daiki wasn’t surprised; whenever the three of them were together, their necks
were the first place Tetsu’s eyes went to.

“Where is your collar?”

Daiki fished it out of his front pocket and held it up, snapped ends
dangling. “The chain broke.”

“Again,” Tai muttered, scuffing his house slippers on more firmly.

“It’s not my fault if they’re flimsy enough to break during practice,”
Daiki pointed out, looking down his nose. “I like having it on all the
time.” He really liked it a lot, which did mean a lot of wear and tear, he’d admit.

Tetsu would be rolling his eyes, if he were the sort to do that, Daiki
was pretty sure. “It’s a good thing I keep spares for you.” He plucked
the broken necklace out of Daiki’s fingers. “Come on.” He led the way
up the stairs to his room. Daiki grinned a bit, to see that two spare
futons were already spread on the floor; fitting the three of them into
a regular bed meant a lot of being careful not to elbow anyone in the
stomach, and sometimes it was nice to do something more energetic. He
could do with something energetic, after having the broken collar
itching at him all day. Tai promptly claimed the bed as a seat,
stretching his legs out and bunching the pillows up at his back, so
Daiki leaned in the doorway while Tetsu rummaged in the lower drawer of
his desk. Finally, he straightened, a new necklace of slim leather cord
just like the old one hanging from his hand.

“Come here.” Tetsu crooked a finger at Daiki and then pointed to the
floor before him. Familiar heat locked around Daiki, the heat of being
with Tetsu like this. He took two long steps away from the door and
sank to his knees at Tetsu’s feet, lifting his chin to bare his throat.
Tetsu smiled, and his fingers slid briefly through Daiki’s hair.
“Good.” The cool of the leather settling lightly around Daiki’s throat
made him shiver, and he had to close his eyes for a moment.

“You know,” Tetsu murmured, fingers stroking over the line of Daiki’s
new collar, “sometimes I think you let them break just so I’ll put
another on you.”

Daiki looked up at him, relaxed by the feeling of being collared again.
“You did say that you would, as often as necessary.”

The corners of Tetsu’s mouth curled up faintly, and he set his fingers
under Daiki’s chin, keeping his head tipped back. “I did, and I will.
Though I’m starting to wonder if I should punish you, when you break
another one, for putting me to the trouble.”

Daiki’s eyes widened at the sharp thrill of heat that sang through him.
He liked it when Tetsu pushed him, and also when Tetsu showed him a
limit and made him mind it. He had to swallow, and when he spoke his
voice was husky. “Punish me how?”

Tetsu made a thoughtful sound and was quiet for long enough that Daiki
bit his lip, starting to be a shade nervous. There were things Tetsu
could do that really would hurt, but… he didn’t think Tetsu would do
them. He didn’t think. Tetsu pushed him physically, but never
denied him, never pushed him away. When he felt Tetsu’s thumb sliding
along his lower lip, coaxing it free of his teeth, his breath caught
and he looked up to see that Tetsu’s eyes had turned gentle. He relaxed
again on a flood of warm relief and settled on his knees, waiting.

“Perhaps I should spank you,” Tetsu murmured. “Do you think that would
punish you suitably, Daiki? If I put you on your hands and knees and spanked you
until your ass was hot under my hand?”

Heat rushed through Daiki again, and he was sure he was flushed. That
was exactly the kind of thing he loved to take from Tetsu, and
something more intense than they’d tried yet. “Yes, Tetsu,” he managed.

Tetsu smiled slowly, thumb brushing back and forth over Daiki’s mouth.
“Then maybe I’ll give you your first spanking tonight, while Taiga
watches.”

Daiki nearly moaned at that thought, at the idea of being watched while
Tetsu punished him. At least until a strangled sound from the bed made
them both look around. Tai’s hands were locked tight in the blankets
and his shoulders were taut.

“Tetsuya,” Tai started, sounding a little strained, “I don’t think I… I
mean…”

“Taiga.” Tetsu squeezed Daiki’s shoulder and murmured to him, “Come.”
He went to Tai and straddled his lap, wrapping his arms tight around
Tai. Daiki did as he was told and stretched out beside Tai while Tetsu
held him, fingers stroking through that wild red hair. “It’s all
right,” Tetsu told their lover softly. “If you don’t want to watch, or
be present, that’s fine.” He leaned back just a little and cradled
Tai’s face in his hands as Tai looked up at him, uncertain. “But if
you’re worried, perhaps it would be better if you did stay. So you can
see for sure that I would never do anything to hurt either of you.”

Daiki could feel the shudder that ran through Tai, and the way he
slumped back against the headboard with a faint sigh. “Hey.” He nudged
Tai’s ribs, gentler than usual. “You were watching all of that, weren’t
you? I want it, Tai.” He smiled, slow and dark, and leaned in to nibble
on Tai’s earlobe and murmur, “I want it a lot. I want Tetsu to push me
to the edge and hold me up against it.”

Tetsu reached out and tugged Daiki’s collar taut with a finger hooked
under it, eyes dark and sharp. “I will hold you there. I’ll hold you
safe.”

This time, Daiki felt Tai gasp and relax at exactly the same time he
did, and he’d bet money that Tai felt the same wave of want and
security. It was just the way Tetsu made them both feel. Tetsu smiled
and tipped Tai’s chin up with a finger under it. “Just think of it,” he
said softly. “The sounds Daiki will make, the way his breathing will
hitch with every stroke. The way he’ll spread his legs wider when his
ass starts to turn red under my hand. The way he’ll beg for more.”

Daiki moaned against Tai’s shoulder. “Fuck, Tetsu, you don’t have to
wait for that. Please spank me, spank me hard…” His cock
was hard already, just listening to this.

A quick glance down showed that Tai’s was, too.

“So.” Tetsu leaned in and kissed Tai’s forehead gently. “Do you want to
watch it, or would you rather not?”

“I…” Tai swallowed and took a breath. “I think I want to stay.”

“All right. Tell me if you need to stop.”

Tai nodded, shoulders finally softened into their usual line when they
were with Tetsu this way, relaxed and trusting. That was better; Daiki
liked seeing how Taiga trusted Tetsu. It made things feel right.

Tetsu tugged on Daiki’s collar again, making him shiver. “If you
need to stop, beg me for it.”

That would come easy, if he really did need it, and Daiki leaned
bonelessly against Tai, smiling. “Yes, Tetsu.”

“Good.” Tetsu eased back down the bed and pulled his shirt off, swift
and easy. “Take your pants off, then.”

While Daiki hopped off the bed to strip off his jeans, and socks and
underwear because anything else would just feel silly, Tetsu pulled Tai
to his feet and led him to one corner of the futons.

“Here.” Tetsu laid his hands on Tai’s shoulders and pushed him down,
following to kiss him slowly. In the middle of the kiss, he reached
down and undid Tai’s jeans, and Daiki made an appreciative sound. Tai
was definitely hard. Tetsu laughed low in his throat as he pulled away,
leaving Tai breathless, and looks back at Daiki. “As for you…” He scooted into the middle of
the futons and pointed in front of him. “Down on your knees and bend
over.”

Daiki did as he was told, cock jumping a little at hearing such a brisk
order from Tetsu, something that made it very clear who was in charge.
He spread his knees wide against the cotton blanket and bent down,
feeling his tank top, the only thing he was still wearing, slide up his
back a little. Tetsu’s hand stroked over his bared ass, slow and warm,
until Daiki sighed and rested his forehead on his crossed arms,
relaxing.

“That’s better,” Tetsu murmured. “There’s no reason to be tense, Daiki.
You’re all mine, and I’m going to spank you until you don’t have any
questions at all about who you belong to.”

Daiki moaned soft and wanting, and arched his back a little to offer Tetsu
his ass. “Yes, Tetsu…”

Tetsu’s hand lifted and came down again firmly, spanking him across one
cheek and then the other. One and then the other. Again and again, firm
and steady. The feeling of it set Daiki gasping. The smack of
every stroke was sharp in the room, and Tetsu’s hand on his ass stung
every time, but it felt good too. His ass felt warm and full,
and the knowledge that it was Tetsu spanking him, Tetsu’s hand
punishing him, made Daiki’s cock throb.

“Your skin is turning red and hot,” Tetsu murmured to him, pausing to
rub his palm over Daiki’s stinging bottom. “Do you like that, Daiki?”
He slapped Daiki’s ass again, sharply.

“Yes, Tetsu!” Daiki gasped, fingers closing in the sheets under them.

“Good.” Tetsu’s hand turned a little heavier as he started spanking
Daiki again. “Remember that this will be your punishment whenever I
have to put a new collar on you.”

Daiki moaned into the sheets, panting for breath with the heat building
under Tetsu’s hand, making his ass throb in time with his cock. It
almost really hurt, now, except that Tetsu’s hand lingered, giving his
ass a little rub after every sharp blow, easing the bite of it into a
slow burn, deep and intense. “Yes Tetsu, please,” he gasped, spreading
his legs wider, arms thrown out along the futon. It was so good,
feeling Tetsu’s control of him, Tetsu’s control of what he would feel
and how. And knowing he was being punished made him hard and
breathless.

“You definitely like this, don’t you?” There was a smile in Tetsu’s
voice, and his other hand slid between Daiki’s legs to stroke his cock.
He spread Daiki’s burning cheeks apart and rubbed a finger over his
entrance. Daiki nearly came right then and there.

“Fuck, please Tetsu!” He whined when Tetsu rubbed his entrance a little
harder, and then gasped when Tetsu drew back and gave his ass a ringing
smack. “Tetsu!” It was good, so good, like being fucked really hard.
Tetsu’s other hand stayed wrapped around Daiki’s cock, fondling him as
Tetsu spanked him hard and sure, every stroke making Daiki jerk on his
knees and moan with the burst of sharp heat across his ass. “Tetsu,
Tetsu fuck, please!” Tetsu’s hand tightened on his cock and one last
punishing stroke across his ass sent fireworks down Daiki’s nerves. He
groaned as he came, shuddering in Tetsu’s hands.


Taiga hadn’t been entirely sure about this, at first, even though Daiki
had sounded so turned on by the idea. It was no secret Daiki was into
more extreme things than he was, after all. But he did trust
Tetsuya, and seeing Daiki spread out waiting for Tetsuya was undeniably
hot.

And… it sure didn’t sound like Daiki was in pain.

By the time Tetsuya was spanking Daiki hard enough to have made Taiga
wince before this he was also fondling Daiki’s very hard cock, and God
the sounds Daiki was making. He sounded, he looked like he
was being fucked. Fucked hard. And really liking it. Watching Daiki’s
ass turn red under Tetsuya’s hand and hearing Daiki begging hoarsely
for more was enough to set Taiga panting himself. It was hot, just as
hot to watch Daiki being taken this way as it was to watch Tetsuya
drive Daiki out of his head any other way. To watch Tetsuya so focused
on Daiki, so in control of his body and responses.

Even in the middle of that intent focus, though, Tetsuya gave Taiga a
warm little glance every now and then, checking on him, checking that
he was all right. That alone was enough to ease Taiga down into the
familiar heat of following Tetsuya’s lead. And that was what kept
Taiga’s hand off his own cock, even when Daiki finally came, sprawled
open under Tetsuya’s hands, so perfectly, wantonly sensual that Taiga
had to curl his fingers into the cotton under his knees. Tetsuya hadn’t
said he could touch himself yet.

So he watched, breathless and hot and really hard, as Tetsuya eased
Daiki down to the futon, murmuring to him that he was very good, that
everything was all right, that he’d done just as he should. Daiki
relaxed under those words, curling up on his side and watching Tetsuya
and Taiga with dark, sleepy eyes, flushed and smiling. Tetsuya leaned
down and pressed a kiss to his temple.

And then he rose and came to Taiga.

Taiga looked up at his lover, lips parted with how quickly he was
breathing. “Tetsuya…”

Tetsuya smiled for him and ran slow fingers through Taiga’s hair.
“Yes.” He knelt between Taiga’s spread knees and pulled Taiga down to a
kiss. Taiga moaned into his mouth as Tetsuya’s hand closed on his cock,
wrapping his arms tight around Tetsuya and holding on.

“That’s good,” Tetsuya told him, voice soft and sure, hand working
slowly up and down. That hand was warm, far warmer than skin-heat, and
Taiga’s breath caught as he realized. That was the hand Tetsuya had
been spanking Daiki with—but it was gentle on him, so gentle, and Taiga
had to bury his head against Tetsuya’s shoulder, moaning.

“Shh.” The fingers of Tetsuya’s other hand slid through his hair,
cradling his head. “I have you, Taiga, I have you safe. It’s all right.
Just feel.”

Heat swept him down, deep, so deep he couldn’t do anything but shudder
as long waves of pleasure raked through him. That soft assurance that
Tetsuya saw the differences between Taiga and Daiki, would hold Taiga
the way he needed to be held, undid him so completely he was
almost sobbing for breath against Tetsuya’s shoulder. Tetsuya held him
until he quieted, fondling him gently until Taiga was wrung dry.

When Tetsuya finally coaxed Taiga down to the bedding, he willingly
settled against Daiki, lying quiet as Tetsuya sat by them and petted
them gently. It was Daiki who finally stirred and looked up at Tetsuya.

“You haven’t…” he started, suggestively, and Tetsuya laughed and set
a light finger against his lips.

“I’ve had both of you trust me and give yourselves up to me completely,
tonight. I have what I want.”

Daiki colored a little and ducked down against Taiga’s shoulder, and
Taiga huffed a bit of a laugh, holding him closer. Daiki was the one
who would try anything, who loved the edge, who wanted to be pushed,
but he got all shy whenever Tetsuya laid out the emotional
stakes in so many words. Taiga rested his head on Tetsuya’s knees,
reassured that Tetsuya knew how completely he held them both.

Tonight had reminded Taiga of why he did.

He let his eyes fall closed and relaxed against the futon with Daiki in
his arms, feeling the slow slide of Tetsuya’s fingers through his hair.
This was where he belonged.

When Tetsuya’s fingers stroked lightly over the slim cord of his
collar, Taiga smiled.

End

Heads or Tails

It never stopped amazing Kazunari how easily Shintarou relaxed for him, in bed. All right, so he colored up adorably when Kazunari started unbuttoning his shirt, and tended to fall into flustered silence when he noticed Kazunari watching him slide his pants off and fold them neatly. But all the upright reserve that saw Shintarou through the day and let him ignore as unworthy of notice the strange looks his lucky items invariably drew eased out of him as he lay back against the sheets. As soon as Kazunari’s hands touched his skin, Shintarou seemed to let all that go, and by the time Kazunari’s fingers started working him open he was ready to spread his legs with perfect, unconscious wantonness and rock down onto Kazunari’s hand. Kazunari loved seeing him like this.

Of course, Shintarou did tend to keep an arm thrown over his face, but that was all right. For now.

“Ready?” he murmured, curling his fingers a little to rub Shintarou inside until he gasped, hips bucking up. “Mm, looks like it.”

“Yes,” Shintarou agreed, husky, wetting lips that were already bitten red. The sight made heat tighten through Kazunari, made his own voice rougher.

“Good.” He slid his fingers slowly free, savoring the tiny sound Shintarou made, and squeezed out a little more lube to slick over his cock. Shintarou lay waiting for him, breathing deep and quick, but still not looking. And that was why Kazunari let him keep that arm over his face for a while; he was, after all, a point guard, and no one should be surprised if he liked to be in control. The way Shintarou’s breath caught when Kazunari’s hands slid down his thighs to spread him wider, the open way he moaned when Kazunari’s cock pushed into him, the way he relaxed into Kazunari’s hands so easily, Kazunari loved all of those.

But after a few slow, rocking strokes to settle himself it was time for more.

“Shintarou,” he said softly, “give me your hand.”

No matter how many times they did this, that still made Shintarou gasp and tense a little. “Kazunari…”

“Shhh.” He reached up to rest a hand against Shintarou’s chest, steady and reassuring. “Give me your hand,” he repeated lower.

Slowly, Shintarou let the arm across his face fall and held out his bare fingers, unwrapped earlier at the same time he’d set aside his glasses.

Kazunari cradled Shintarou’s hand in both of his, holding those wide, uncertain eyes as he lifted it. The sudden flush in Shintarou’s face when Kazunari wrapped his lips around one finger and sucked, the soft moan Shintarou tried to catch back, nearly made him moan himself. Well, no, he lied; it was the things he knew were behind that flush and that moan. It was the fact that Shintarou guarded his hands so jealously and yet would trust them to Kazunari, even when uncertainty made the fingers in Kazunari’s hold tremble. It was the fact that the way Shintarou responded to having those sensitive fingers sucked was one of the few things that truly made him blush, in bed, but he would let Kazunari do it anyway. That was what made him so hard as he drove deeper into Shintarou, fucking him steadily while he played his tongue over Shintarou’s fingers just as slow and wet and dirty as possible. He fucked the tight heat of his partner’s ass hard and sure, and slid his lips and tongue over Shintarou’s shaking fingers until Shintarou was gasping, breath cut into quick little jerks. Until he was making a soft sound, almost a whimper, at the end of every thrust. Until he closed his eyes and whispered, “Kazunari,” with an edge of pleading in that low, controlled voice.

“Mmm.” Kazunari smiled, licking one last time down Shintarou’s fingers before he guided Shintarou’s hand down to wrap those wet fingers around his own cock. “Yeah. Show me. Let me see you, Shin-chan.” He closed both hands around his partner’s hips, lifting him up a little so Kazunari could fuck him harder, and the first thrust drove home just as long, talented fingers stroked hard down Shintarou’s cock.

Kazunari tried not to use cliches, but if Shintarou’s open moan wasn’t music it was still a sound that put a burst of heat down Kazunari’s spine. Shintarou was gorgeous like this, spread out and undone, lips parted around low gasps, fingers sliding with desperate hunger up and down the long, hard line of his own cock. Kazunari bit down hard on his lip to keep himself from coming immediately when Shintarou arched hard, head tipped back, and his body wrung itself out around Kazunari’s cock. He wanted to watch this. The velvety depth of Shintarou’s moan did him in, though, and he slid helplessly over the edge after him, hips jerking hard against the curve of Shintarou’s ass while the rush of pleasure made the world hazy.

The sight of Shintarou sprawled out afterwards, though, lax and flushed, was just as good.

Kazunari eased Shintarou’s legs back down and stretched out to settle against him, winding an arm around Shintarou’s ribs. “Good?” he asked softly. Shintarou nodded quietly and rested his bare fingers on Kazunari’s shoulder, lightly. Kazunari smiled and snuggled closer, satisfied with the sure knowledge that Shintarou would say yes the next time he suggested this.

End

The Simple and the Subtle – Chapter Five

Even asleep, Al could tell this dream was different.

He sat beside his brother in a deep lecture hall, and the lecture was all about extremely combustible fuels and some kind of nozzle and someone named Goddard. Nii-san’s hair was longer than in any of the pictures Al had from those lost years, even the oldest ones, and he was dressed so respectably Al wanted to stare.

But he couldn’t.

Al leaned closer to Nii-san, which he hadn’t intended to do, and murmured "So? Do you think this one can make it?"

They weren’t Al’s words. They weren’t his thoughts.

"Maybe," Nii-san murmured, eyes fixed on the lecturer. "But making it out of atmosphere is just the first step."

Al laughed–only he wasn’t–and spun a pen between his fingers. "Ed, you’re obsessed."

"I’m getting back," Nii-san stated, with determination that Al remembered in a way, from other dreams. And then he glanced over, mouth curling wryly. "Besides, you’re just as obsessed with your own stuff, Alfons."

Al’s start woke him up.


And that was when I got stuck for a little while, and other series intervened, and I eventually admitted that I wasn’t going to finish writing this.

How it was going to finish: Al would realize he’d found Ed in an alternate world by dreaming contact with his alternate self, and head back to Izumi with his insights to figure out a way to bridge the worlds and retrieve his brother. Gil would, with a little prompting from Amos, realize that he really has bonded deeply with Al and would go with him, and there might even be a kiss somewhere in there to get Al to understand why Gil wants to travel with him. Al is entirely pleased with this and shows Gil off to Izumi, much to Izumi’s amusement and Gil’s exasperation. Gil and Sig bond over the trials of being an alchemist’s lover while Al and Izumi get as far as stabilizing Al’s contact between worlds while he’s waking, but can’t figure out how to get someone through without them getting caught by the fragment/creatures in the Gate.

In the meantime, Ed would be researching furiously on how to get to another world via space, and Hohenheim would be sneaking around trying to stop a Nazi experiment in human sacrifice involving the mass death of asylum inmates. Hohonheim would, of course, be captured, and Ed would chase after him, bursting in on the scene just in time to stop the bad guys, but not in time to save his father. Hohenheim would alter whatever inscription/array the Nazi would-be-magicians were using to make it actually work, and sacrifice himself to open the Gate and send Ed through, where of course he promptly enters Al’s perception and is dragged back home on the strength of Al’s knowledge of what the Gate truly is.

(I don’t actually remember if I even knew what I was planning to do with Alfons; maybe he meets a nice mechanic and falls in love.)

Once home, Ed would be delighted to see Al whole, threaten Gil on older-brother-principles, be appalled to find out that Mustang had entered politics but glad that Lisa is keeping an eye on him, and be happy for Winry and Rose that they’d made a match of it. He and Al would bury themselves in theory for a while, hammering out what it was that happened to them, and what it means about the universe. Eventually, though, Al would drift more toward the philosophical end, and he and Gil would return to Ishvar while Ed took up his travels again, looking for fellow alchemists who would listen to the new theory and also for trouble.

The end.

The Simple and the Subtle – Chapter Four

Gil wasn’t entirely surprised when Al came to him and asked for help. That didn’t mean he didn’t have misgivings.

"Are you sure Shifu wouldn’t be a better choice?"

Alphonse looked stubborn. "I need to not be afraid. If I’m afraid of the Gate, I’ll just keep running away from it and forgetting and I’ll never be able to find Nii-san through it." The stubbornness shifted into the earnest entreaty Gil was far more wary of. He had fewer defenses against it. "Please, Gil-san. I do think it should be you."

Gil stifled a sigh. He wasn’t at all sure he was ready for the burden of that trust, but if it was laid on him already he couldn’t bring himself to break it. "Very well."

And so he found himself sitting beside Alphonse’s bedroll in the middle of the day, one of Al’s hands clasped in his, while his young friend sought, by all accounts, creatures that would happily devour his body and soul.

He hoped this would be enough to give Alphonse the courage he needed.

Gradually Alphonse’s breathing slowed and evened. His eyes stopped flickering under his lids. Gil watched the sunlight creep across the floor and waited, sinking himself in the patience he had once employed to hunt and kill. He thought this was a better use for it.

Abruptly, Al’s hand tightened on his. Gil leaned forward, intent, frowning, carefully tightening his grip in return. Alphonse’s eyes were moving again, now. When his breath stumbled Gil couldn’t keep from resting a light hand on his hair and speaking in a bare whisper. "Alphonse. I’m here."

Al should know that, whatever he faced, he was not alone. Gil knew too well how that felt to leave someone he knew lost in it.

Alphonse’s grip on Gil’s hand firmed and he drew in a long breath.

It wasn’t long after that he relaxed, bit by bit, and his eyes opened, dark and dazed. Gil brushed light, flyaway hair back out of them and waited.

Finally Alphonse looked up at him and smiled. "Thank you." The smile grew wider, gained a triumphant edge. "It worked! I found it and I remember!"

Gil smiled back. "I’m glad."

Al hauled himself up off the bed, wobbling just a little, and rummaged for his notebooks, muttering to himself as he scribbled and chewing the end of his pencil. Gil stood and went to see about some dinner. He was hungry and he’d only watched.

As he pulled out bread and onion to cut, he found that he was still smiling.


Gil couldn’t deny that he was very impressed by Alphonse Elric. Days turned to weeks and still Alphonse burned with the light of his discoveries, focused and intent. Gil often had to remind his housemate to take a break to eat.

And even in the midst of his ferocious research, Alphonse turned a hand willingly to the neverending chores of building New Ishvar. He sawed wood and laid pipes, helped paint and mortar, heaved blocks cheerfully. The house they stayed in was finished, and Gil wondered if he shouldn’t move on as usual. But somehow he didn’t want to disturb Alphonse, didn’t want to dislocate him when he seemed so close to finding what he needed.

Didn’t want to leave him behind either.

So he stayed and soothed his vague discomfort over it by going out to work on newly laid foundations each day. Many days Al came with him, and if Alphonse banged his thumb every now and then when he was thinking too much about his latest reading and not enough about where the nail was, most of the citypeople were indulgent. By now everyone knew of the outsider who had thrown himself so whole-heartedly into their studies that even Alec approved of him. If Alphonse still gathered a few dark looks in the evenings, when he joined the everlasting debates on the temple steps, there were only a few.

If Alphonse still woke, some nights, shaking and tense, Gil found some satisfaction in the knowledge that Al could sleep calm the rest of the night as long as Gil held him.

His hands could do something besides destroy, now.


His teacher found him stitching canvas into window covers against the deepening cold of winter nights.

"It seems you’ve decided to stay in one of your houses, finally."

"It’s Alphonse’s house, too," Gil answered, eyes on the canvas.

"So it is. Many of our people approve of that young man." This was said in such a bland tone that Gil looked up, wary. Amos was smiling at him. "Many of our people approve of you, too, you know."

Gil looked down again. "I shouldn’t… I don’t have the right…" It was harder, lately, to say the words with conviction.

Amos sighed. "Do you think the proper restitution for bringing death is to create still more absence in all our hearts?"

Gil bit his lip.

Amos reached over and gripped Gil’s shoulder with a hard hand, shaking him a bit. "Stop being so stubborn, boy."

Gil managed a small smile for his teacher. "If you wanted me to become less stubborn, are you sure you should have housed Alphonse Elric here?"

Amos laughed. "He’s just stubborn enough to match you." He leaned back in his chair and added, "Many of us would be pleased enough if he chose to do so for longer."

Gil shook his head, trying to ignore the twinge at the thought of Alphonse leaving. "He won’t stop searching for his brother, wherever that takes him."

"Mm. Journeys usually end in returning, you know." Amos’ eyes on him were dark and thoughtful. "If they last long enough. Maybe the both of you have further to go."

Gil sat, after his teacher left, hands smoothing the canvas. The memories of his last journey were dark ones, and he knew many of Alphonse’s were also. He had to wonder, just a little, if the return was worth that kind of price.


Gil woke a little as Alphonse turned restless, reaching out to rub his back. Al’s tossing increased, though, and the sounds he made were desperate and stifled, and Gil roused all the way.

"Alphonse." He gathered Al close, calling his name quietly. "Alphonse. Wake up."

Al woke with a start that was half a scream, sitting up with a jerk. "Seal… close…" he panted, eyes wide and blind.

"Alphonse," Gil called again, quiet and insistent.

Al’s eyes finally focused on him. Gil started a bit himself as Al flung himself back down, burrowing into Gil’s chest, shaking. "I was changing," he choked. "It was almost at the seal. I was almost gone."

Gil remembered the steady creep of corruption over steel armor, moving toward a small seal drawn in old blood. That certainly explained it. Gil rubbed Al’s back silently.

"And then… I changed again," Al went on, muffled. "I was back, I was all right. There was just this… light inside me." After a slow, shaky breath, he looked up. "You saved me."

Gil made an uncomfortable sound. "It was the only thing I could think of that might halt the process." And it wouldn’t have been needed if any of them had just been more alert to what that insane State Alchemist was doing as he died. Al could have been spared all of it. Although, if he had, he could never have saved his brother, nor been saved himself. Of course, neither of them might have been in that danger if Alphonse hadn’t been turned into the Stone. But then neither could have been restored… Gil tried to make his thoughts stop spinning. Done was done and he couldn’t pick apart the threads of the past.

Al managed a tiny smile. "Thank you."

Gil looked down at him, mind still full of causes and consequences. "For what?"

"For everything."

After a long moment, Gil breathed out and smiled faintly in the dark, feeling the whirl of his head and heart settling. "You’re welcome," he murmured.

The Simple and the Subtle – Chapter Three

Al mentioned Gil-san’s thought, about divine geometry being very different than regular geometry, to Amos-san. Amos-san chuckled.

"Oh yes. Gil has a good instinct for these things. It’s a loss to us all that he probably won’t ever go on in his studies and join us here." His wave took in the whole temple, not just the corner of the porch that he and Al sat in.

"Mm." Al sighed a little. He thought it was a waste, too. They both had new lives; Gil-san should do something with his.

Nahal-san told him, while they screwed together pipes to plumb her sink, that Gil-san never stayed in the houses he built.

"Whenever he finishes one he gives it to some couple or family and moves out again, like he’s chasing the edge of the city," she said, grunting as she tightened down an elbow. "Here, hand me that long bit. It’s a crying shame. No one blames the boy for being a little off his head after what happened at the old city." She sighed, gazing down at the pipes scattered in the summer dust around them and, if Al was any judge, not seeing them at all. "I suppose that won’t be any good until he stops blaming himself."

Al hoped it would happen; he thought it would. Gil-san had been kind of scary, or at least it sounded like he had in all the accounts, but he’d also saved Al’s life and he’d been kind here and now.

Al was sleeping a lot better, now.


Al scrubbed a hand through his hair and sighed. "Why is the same thing drawn different ways?" he muttered to himself. Even after almost a year studying, he still found many of these things peculiar.

"So that we remember to look at the truth from more than one perspective," Alec-san said briskly from behind him.

Al jumped a bit. "Ah. Well, yes, I suppose so…"

Alec-san waved a hand. "You must remember, Alphonse-kun, all these drawings and descriptions are only metaphors. We can only see as much of the greater truth as our souls are prepared to see. If we could see it as it is…" his wintry smile flashed, "well, then we’d be one with divinity, yes?"

Al thought about that. "So, you’re saying that everything I’ve seen is… not really real?"

Alec-san snorted. "Of course it’s really real. It just isn’t complete."

Al frowned, puzzling through this new thought. "So it’s more like a… a parable."

"Exactly." Alec-san looked pleased.

"So why do different people see the same thing?" Al shot back.

Alec-san’s smile grew. "Because, Alphonse-kun, you aren’t the only one involved. What you see is telling the story along with you."

Al shivered. The idea that the Gate was talking to him unnerved him. He might only be able to remember dreams of memories, and almost nothing of the Gate itself, but he remembered fear.

Fear.

He frowned down at the sheaf of papers in front of him, the delicately colored and carefully labeled concentric circles and the dissertation below on their interrelations. "All these accounts and explanations… they all talk about joy," he murmured.

"Of course." Alec-san blew on a carefully copied page to dry it and pulled up a fresh sheet of paper, turning to the next page. "They speak of the pathways to completion, to perfection, if you will."

Al frowned some more, tapping his pencil against his chin. If that was so, then why was it only fear that he remembered?


"Not everyone studies that branch," Gil-san pointed out around a mouthful of nails as he attached the back to a new chair and Al cut up a handful of tiny potatos for dinner. "Even of those, not many seem to see this Gate. Perhaps you have to be prepared properly for it."

Al made a rueful face. "I guess we were about as unprepared as two people could get."

"It was irresponsible to allow children access to such learning," Gil-san growled.

Al’s mouth quirked. "So you mean Amos-san and Alec-san are being irresponsible now?" he teased. Gil-san glowered at him, but Al was learning that he did that regardless, and it didn’t always mean Gil-san was angry.

"You are not a child, Alphonse."

Al’s brows rose at that and Gil-san looked back down at the chair.

"Whether you remember them or not, those years left a mark on you," he said, quietly. "You were a child when I first met you. You are not, now."

Al scraped the potatos into their pan and watched them start to sizzle. "I suppose not," he murmured. It was, in a way, a sad thought. But he also found himself sneakingly pleased that Gil-san thought so.


Al went to sleep thinking of joy and memory and his dreams started out more softly than usual. He was running through grass with his brother and Winry. He was arguing with his brother over cheating at cards. He was playing marbles with a little girl and if, in the dream, his hands were metal, she still smiled at him and crowed with happy triumph over her small, glassy winnings.

Joy.

Wholeness.

A part of him thought the words and then he was standing in a galleried ballroom, filled with light and fire, and a feeling of perfect calm. His brother’s body was at his feet and he knew that Nii-san was dead. That didn’t change the calm. The part of him that knew this was a dream clung to that perfectly balanced heart with wonder, burying himself in it.

The Eye flashed before him and doors opened. There was darkness beyond it, and light, and things Al couldn’t name. He stepped past the doors and held out his hands.

"Nii-san!"

His voice echoed and re-echoed and tiny, dark hands unreeled, reaching back in answer.

Knowing it was a dream, Al still flinched, afraid.

Within the dream, Al brushed the hands away, calm, and they recoiled.

His brother’s hands clasped his and Al felt himself unravelling, the power of his body spooling away and leaving only…

Him.

And he started, slowly, to walk beyond the Gate, beyond the hands and mocking, angry voices, towards the things without name.

"Haaah!"

Al’s eyes were wide open on darkness and there was a warm arm around him.

"Alphonse!"

Al dropped back down to his bedroll as if all the strings of his muscles had been cut at once. "I… I’m okay." He was shaking.

Gil-san didn’t comment, only rubbed Al’s back quietly while he caught his breath. Al pressed his forehead against Gil-san’s chest, grateful beyond words for the solidity of him.

"I remember," he whispered. "Something in the Gate. Something to be afraid of. But I wasn’t afraid. And past that…" he frowned, puzzled. "I don’t know what it was."

Gil-san’s voice rumbled in his chest. "Beyond the Gate is the Crown, isn’t it?"

Al stilled. "Oh." He could almost hear the click of thoughts coming together. "The Gate before the Crown," he whispered, eye wide for a different reason this time. "Peace. Joy. That… that balance. That’s the Crown. What’s at the Gate…" He sat up, catching Gil-san’s shoulders in his excitement. "What’s always in the Gate, what stays in the Gate, that must be separate! Of course!"

Gil-san eyed him thoughtfully. "As souls pass the Gate," he murmured, "perhaps some things must be left behind before we can go on."

"Everything that isn’t ready for that oneness, yes, of course!" Al nearly bounced. "It makes sense now!" He paused. "What?"

Gil-san’s eyes were gleaming in the dimness and a corner of his mouth twitched. "Did you wake up your brother, often, to discuss philosophy in the middle of the night?" he asked.

Al cleared his throat, flushing. "Ah. Sorry." He settled himself back down on his bedroll. After a moment he muttered, "Actually, yes."

Gil-san hmph-ed and a large hand ruffled Al’s hair a little before withdrawing. "I’m not surprised."

Al smiled shyly and snuck a little closer into Gil-san’s warmth before closing his eyes again.


"Hm. Interesting." Alec-san scratched his chin with the end of his pen, looking up at the ceiling. "I can only speculate, you understand, not having experienced these things myself."

Al made an encouraging sound, impatient, for once, with Alec-san’s pedantic precision. He got one of Alec-san’s small, frosty smiles for his pains.

"I would speculate, based on what you have told me, that these creatures in the Gate are indeed the remnants of souls that have passed through and beyond. Echos, if you will. Being without form or soul, being only scraps of will, of course they would be hungry for both body and spirit, if they find one they can reach. Living, presumably, rather than dead and passing beyond."

"Then," Al said slowly, "they don’t really have anything to do with the transmutation process at all. Or with passing the Gate to other worlds."

"Never having witnessed it, I can’t say. But the hypothesis does match your experiences." Alec folded his hands and regarded Al sharply over his knuckles. "The price you pay for transmutation, in strength or life, is one thing. But if these things truly are the will that returns in a homunculus, and if the homunculi are incapable of alchemy, then it follows that the bargain these creatures made with your brother to release your soul once they had captured you was their own and apart from alchemy as it is known to our world. They were likely," Alec-san conluded, "merely taking what they could get from children strong enough to open the Gate but not to guard themselves properly from what lies within it."

Al closed his eyes and took a slow breath for calm agains his sudden anger. "It does make sense," he said, low and even.

After a long moment Alec-san added, "As the Crown is perfect oneness, it also makes sense that the Gate is the point at which all worlds touch and join. How a living, embodied soul that does not seek the Crown can pass the Gate and move between with impunity, without falling prey to these creatures is a question we have not yet answered." His eyes sharpened still more. "Will you keep looking for it?"

Al’s chin came up. "Of course."

Alec-san’s smile was amused and, briefly, affectionate, and Al ducked his head, abashed.

"Well. After all, my dream might have given me a clue."

Alec-san raised his brows and made interested noises.

"In my dream," Al said, softly, looking up at the sunlight streaming in the skylight, "I wasn’t afraid."

The Simple and the Subtle – Chapter Two

Gil had not been surprised when Alphonse mentioned nightmares. The boy had died, been hauled back by his heels and bound to a suit of armor, tramped all over the country running after the false hope of the Stone, been transmuted into the Stone, and finally sacrificed those years of love and effort to be returned to true life. Nightmares were surely to be expected. He hadn’t quite expected his new houseguest to start up in the middle of the night, screaming, though.

He certainly hadn’t expected it to happen every night.

That wasn’t quite true, of course. Two nights, even three, in a week, Alphonse slept quietly. The others, well Gil was twice over glad he had no near neighbors here at the edge of the city and that doors and windows were shuttered tight now winter was on them.

He did wonder, once or twice, whether his teacher had known about this, and thought it proper for Gil to deal with.

Either way, it was fair enough resititution for the part he’d played. He leaned up on one arm, half awake, to reach across the space between their makeshift beds and shake Alphonse’s shoulder as he started to thrash around. Alphonse came awake with a harsh gasp, eyes wide and staring before he fell back against his blankets.

"Ah. Gil-san. Sorry."

"Mm, don’t worry," Gil mumbled, settling back into sleep already.

He barely remembered it in the morning, until Alphonse looked up from staring into his tea. "It really seems like there should be two circles on the Gate, not eleven."

It must, Gil decided, have been a dream of the Gate itself, last night, then, for Alphonse to break into philosophy at the breakfast table. Usually he waited and beleaguered the older men at the temple, in the evening.

Still, he probably owed Alphonse this help too. "Why?" he prodded.

"Well it’s only one step away from this world; there don’t seem to be any others in between."

Gil considered that while Alphonse wolfed down his toast. "I don’t think distance to divinity works in a straight line like that."

"Oh." Alphonse blinked and laughed a bit self-consciously. "Of course." He rubbed a hand through his hair. "I suppose I’ve been drawing arrays for too long; it’s hard to shake the habit of geometry."

"Most habits are hard to shake," Gil agreed quietly. The habit of revenge; the habit of wrongheadedness; the habit of solitude; they were all hard to shake.

Though Alphonse was making an impression on that last one, and Gil suspected that had been his teacher’s real purpose in lodging Alphonse here.

"Well, I can think about that more later," Alphonse said with that alarming determination of his, draining his tea. "What is there to do today?"

"Walls. There’s a new load of stone in."

Alphonse brightened, and Gil raised a brow at this rather odd response to the prospect of hauling stone blocks in the desert sun and stingingly dry winter air. "Good! I think the house frame is cracking in the east corner, I heard it last night, and I knew you wouldn’t want me to strengthen it."

"Thank you," Gil muttered, surprised all over again by Alphonse’s restraint; he hadn’t used a single flicker of alchemy since he’d come to New Ishvar. Of course, Gil probably shouldn’t be surprised. Alphonse had never had his brother’s brash edge.

Or, at least, didn’t have it in the same way.

As they walked through the outskirts to collect the first pallet of cut stone, Gil watched smiles come out everywhere in answer to Alphonse’s.

"Al-kun, you’ll come play with Rick and Leo later won’t you?"

"Alphonse-kun, I’ll have that book for you tonight!"

"Al, you and Gil will stop with us for dinner, won’t you?"

"If Gil-san agrees," Alphonse returned, laughing. Gil snorted softly.

"You can go without me."

"Yes, but Eli-san invited both of us," Alphonse told him, firm and scolding. "You should accept more often, Gil-san."

Gil’s mouth tightened. "I have no right."

Alphonse stopped in the middle of the street-to-be with his hands on his hips and glared. "Why not?"

Gil glowered down at his houseguest, though it never seemed to have quite the effect on Alphonse that it did on anyone else. "The price for what I have done is exile. I knew that from the start. I will pay it," he bit out.

"Even when no one is asking you to?"

"Some things aren’t required by other people."

"No, they’re just required by your stubbornness," Alphonse snapped, sounding thoroughly exasperated. "Gil-san–"

"Enough."

After a moment Alphonse sighed. "We should fetch the stone."

Gil nodded agreement to that, at least, and ignored Al’s muttering about how well the blocks would match certain heads. He was starting to wonder whether Alphonse had gotten this way because of Edward or whether Edward had gotten that way because of Alphonse.

It was two loads later before Alphonse said anything that wasn’t to do with hauling and stacking.

"Gil-san, may I ask you something?"

Gil made a noncommital grunt, hoping Alphonse wasn’t going to badger him more about dinner invitations.

"Will you tell me how I met you?" Alphonse looked up as Gil’s hands froze over the mortar he was mixing. "You know so much about me, but I don’t even remember your name from the things people have told me about those years."

Gil could feel his jaw tightening.

"How did we meet, that you don’t want to tell me?" Al asked quietly.

Gil bowed his head over his hands. Alphonse had left off asking for so long, he’d hoped to not be asked at all. He should have known better. Sooner or later, it would have to be said. Gil took a slow breath. "You didn’t know my name, then," he said, voice low. "You called me Scar."

The broken beam Alphonse had been using to lever the stones up clattered to the ground. His eyes were wide, when Gil looked up. A flicker of dark amusement tugged the corner of Gil’s mouth up. "I suppose that transmutation gave both of us our lives back. I don’t know that it did either of us a favor." He looked away, not wanting to watch the shock in Alphonse’s face any more. "You’ve done more than enough work here, Alphonse," he gestured at the half-laid walls, mouth twisting with the double edge of his words, "if you want to go think for a while."

"I… I’ll… yes, for a while." Alphonse tidied his tools with a blank stare that didn’t see them, and walked away toward the temple, steps slow and halting.

Gil rested his forehead against a stone, eyes closed. He’d thought he already knew where he stood with the world. He hadn’t thought it would hurt so much to see that shock in someone’s eyes–to know it would unfold into fear or disgust.

It was only, he told himself sternly, what he should expect; it flowed naturally from his own actions and choices.

When he had made those choices, it hadn’t seemed like such a high price as it did now.

It didn’t take long before Amos showed up.

Gil’s shoulders tightened, but his teacher only picked up the lever Al had dropped and helped to lay the last row of stone. It wasn’t until Gil had poured them both a drink of water that Amos spoke.

"Well, it doesn’t seem that you think Al-kun’s life is unclean."

Gil flinched. "Of course it isn’t," he muttered. "He isn’t one of us, to live by our laws. Besides, his brother chose freely to make that sacrifice for him." Unlike the men Gil had killed to form the Stone. Not that he felt sorry for those soldiers, he thought stubbornly; they’d made their choices too. But the fact remained. "Alphonse wasn’t the one who killed and used the lives to live."

Amos took a drink and leaned back against Gil’s new wall thoughtfully. "No, he didn’t. Instead he took those lives and used them to bring his brother back from death." He tipped his head at Gil. "You still don’t think that was wrong?"

"It…" Gil’s thoughts stumbled. "The killing was already done," he said at last.

His teacher’s silence was eloquent of the inadequacy of this answer.

"At least those lives and deaths meant something in the end!" Gil finally burst out. "At least they did something worthwhile!"

Amos smiled at him. "So they did."

Gil’s eyes widened. "But I’m… I’m not…" Not worthwhile, not worthy.

His teacher patted his shoulder, heaving himself to his feet. "Well, perhaps I’ll give young Al a bit longer to work on it, then."

As Gil watched Amos walk back into the city he thought about the enthusiasm with which Alphonse threw himself into rebuilding Ishvar and the raw determination of his search for answers among the books of old and new learning and the stubbornness he already showed in trying to draw Gil out. It occurred to him, not for the first time, that his teacher had a ruthless streak.


It was late when Alphonse came back, and Gil watched his face warily, in the lamplight.

Al just smiled and set two loaves of bread and a travel-bruised pomegranate on the table. "We’re running out of bread so I stopped at Sarah-san’s. She said to take the fruit, too."

"That was kind of her." Gil fetched cups of water for them, waiting for the rest of it. He was sure there was more.

"Gil-san," Alphonse said, softly, as he peeled the pomegranate, "will you tell me what happened?" He looked up, honey-colored eyes dark. "No one else was there."

And so no one else could tell it. No one else could explain the dreams, if Alphonse had dreamed about it. Gil set down his bread; he doubted he’d be able to eat through this. "I had planned to lure soldiers into Lior and create the Stone with their lives. For the sake of all the citizens who had been killed, the people of Lior were willing to let me do it. You and your brother stumbled into the middle of it, though. You and one other. The Alchemist who did this," he gestured to the scar across his face, "and you were too close. When he tried to kill you, by transforming you and breaking your blood seal… I made you the focus of the Stone’s creation instead, to preserve you."

He watched Alphonse’s fingers, breaking the pomegranate seeds into smaller and smaller clusters, as he spoke. He didn’t want to watch Al’s face, and perhaps that was more cowardice, but he didn’t think he could finish if he was looking Alphonse in the eye. Alphonse’s eyes were far too expressive.

"After it was done," he finished, "I was left with a whole body and the empty desert and nothing else. I…" his hands clasped hard around his cup, "I had thought to make the Stone for revenge; to carry out a destiny. But it seemed to me, then, that whatever there was of my old destiny had passed to you." He was silent for a moment before adding, voice low, "It was then that I realized how heavy I had made it. I’m sorry."

"Yes. So am I. But I’m glad, too."

Gil finally looked up from Alphonse’s fingers, stained a little red with the seeds’ juice, to see his housemate looking reflective and not shocked or disgusted at all.

"I wish those soldiers hadn’t died," Alphonse said, softly. "But you saved my life. And what you did saved my brother’s life, too. And I can’t help being glad for that." Alphonse looked directly at Gil and smiled, eyes clear. "I wish you hadn’t. Thank you, Gil-san."

Gil felt himself settle into stillness with those words. It was not forgiveness Alphonse offered. It was more real than that. "So do I," he said, quietly. "And you’re welcome." His own sincerity surprised him.

Alphonse pushed a wooden plate with half the pomegranate seeds on it across the table. "I suppose I should tell you what came next. I only really know it from what other people have said, but I know Nii-san and I ran for it."

Gil listened and ate the sweet, crunchy seeds one by one. It was late by the time Al finished, and Gil felt tired–more than tired, wrung out.

He also felt more at peace than he had for a long time.

He turned over new thoughts, as they cleaned up. "You and your brother succeeded in your search, last time," he said, finally. "But the cost was one I think you wouldn’t pay again."

Alphonse nodded firmly as he swept away the fresh stone chips in the bedroom and unrolled his bed. "The Stone isn’t the right way. I know that, at least."

"Knowledge might be, though," Gil offered, knowing that he would once have denounced any outsider seeking the old knowledge of his people. "You are… welcome here for as long as you search." He started to unroll his own bedding and hesitated. He’d long since moved his bed across the room, next to Alphonse’s, the easier to wake him from nightmares.

Alphonse smiled up at him, smoothing his bedroll, and it struck Gil that that was what he had wanted, why he had spoken: to see Alphonse’s hope, undamaged. That hope seemed… very important. "Thank you for that, too, Gil-san." Alphonse helped unroll Gil’s bedding the rest of the way and patted it briskly into place beside his.

Gil lay down silently, accepting Alphonse’s wordless assurance that it was well.

He was surprised to wake the next morning from a sleep unbroken by nightmares. He had expected telling over some of the ugliest parts of Alphonse’s lost past to call to those memories.

Then again, perhaps it had. Alphonse slept quietly, but his arms were wrapped tightly around one of Gil’s and he refused to let go. After a few gentle tugs, Gil gave in and turned on his side to settle Alphonse against him more comfortably until the boy woke. His mouth tugged up helplessly into a faint smile as Alphonse relaxed with a sigh and moved closer.

Gil lay and watched the light grow slowly outside the window, thinking back to another life when his older brother had read him to sleep on stormy nights and stayed with him, safe and warm.

He was smiling for real by the time Al woke and stared at him with wonder in the morning sun.

 

A/N: Those who are wondering how on earth Scar can be here should read Long Enough.

The Simple and the Subtle – Chapter One

Al stood by a low fountain, hands opening and closing around the handle
of his suitcase. It was baking hot under the afternoon sun, even though it was autumn elsewhere in the country, but he
made no move for the shade of the wide porch across the square. There
had been too many doubtful or questioning looks directed at him as
he crossed the city, and he wanted to start off on the right foot,
here; his eyes searched through the knots of people sitting among the
pillars, looking for a face that seemed receptive or curious or welcoming.
Unfortunately, everyone seemed very wrapped up in whatever they were
discussing, in some cases quite loudly and with vigorous gestures.

Al sighed. Getting to New Ishvar had been simple. Finding the temple
had been even easier; it was the tallest building in the city and by
far the most finished-looking one. The next step was proving a little
harder.

"You can drink from the fountain, if you like, young man."

Al turned to see a comfortably plump woman smiling at him, offering a tin cup of water.

"You look like you’ve just gotten here," she added.

"Yes, ma’am." Actually, water sounded really good now that someone mentioned it. Al took the cup with a bob of thanks and sighed with pleasure as he washed the grit out of his throat. "Thank you very much."

"We don’t get many travelers," she observed to the water as she went back to filling a large jug.

"I was hoping to speak to some of your scholars." Al felt deeply self-conscious, now that he actually came to say it. "They, um, all seem to be very busy, though."

The woman laughed. "Ah, half the men up there are just arguing for the fun of it." She set her full jug down in the shadow of the fountain and beckoned. "Come along, I’ll show you to someone who can actually help."

"Oh. That’s very kind; thank you again." Al trailed behind her, surprised.

She tossed a wry grin over her shoulder. "I think anyone who comes to learn instead of shoot should be encouraged."

Al flushed. "Ah. Yes." How did you answer something like that?

She led him between the knots of gesticulating debaters and finally tapped the shoulder of a square, strong looking old man. "Sensei, you have a visitor."

The man looked up from the group of boys he’d been speaking to, smiling. "A visitor? How unusual. Thank you, Nahal." He waved to the boys, who scattered looking cheerful; Al suspected he’d just interrupted lessons of some kind. The old man nodded to him courteously as the woman shook her head and went after some of the children. "And how can we help…" He trailed off and frowned. "You…?"

"My name is Alphonse Elric." Al hesitated as the man’s eyes widened. "I… may have met you before sir. I don’t remember that time, though. Please excuse me."

"Hm. Well, you certainly look rather different than I remember." The man waved to one of the benches beside him. "I take it," he said quietly, as Al sat, "that your brother succeeded in healing you."

That was actually a very good way to put it, Al thought. "Yes, sir. He gave all of himself to do it, though, and…" Al’s hands tightened on each other, "now I’m trying to find where he’s gone."

"Where he’s gone?" the man prompted softly.

"He isn’t dead," Al told his hands. "I’d know if he were dead."

"You must know, Elric-kun, that we do not teach or learn the old Art." The man’s voice was kind but utterly inflexible.

"I know." Al looked up, meeting his eyes. "I don’t think it’s the Art I need to learn. There’s…" He took a deep breath. "There’s a Gate. It’s spoken of in some of the old books of your people, and nowhere else I’ve found. I’ve passed that Gate. Twice. But I don’t remember it."

The man sat back, looking startled. "Twice?" He examined Al in silence for a long moment and finally said, "I think you had better tell me the whole story, Elric-kun. If you can."

Al’s mouth quirked. This should be interesting. "Well, I suppose it starts from the fact that my brother and I inherited our father’s gift for alchemy…"

Dusk fell while he spoke, blue shadows sliding over the sand and stone.

"…so I came here, hoping I could learn more about what happened. Maybe enough to find the Gate when I’m awake and find my brother through it."

Al turned one hand palm up and waited as calmly as he could for his answer.

"If he has passed through the place you speak of, I do not know if it will be possible to call him back. He was not bound to this world, as you were by the blood seal." The old man stood. "Nevertheless, you have come to us honestly, to share learning. As long as that honesty does not fail, you are welcome to learn what you may."

Al let out the breath he’d been holding. "Thank you, sir."

The man’s teeth flashed in a smile. "My name is Amos. And now, we have to find some place for you to stay." He chuckled. "I’m sure Leo and Rick will be happy to see you again, but Maria has her hands full looking after them; lodging you there might not be the kindest thing to her."

"I don’t want to make any trouble," Al said, hastily, already imagining the look this Maria would give him. "Of course, I’ll do my best to help out wherever I stay, but I can stay outside of town, too, if that would be easier." After Sensei’s ideas of training, camping in the nice, calm desert would feel like a vacation.

"Hm. No, no I think I have a better idea. Come along." Whatever he had thought of put a glint in Amos-san’s eye, Al saw as they passed into the lamplight spilling past the temple doors. Al braced himself and followed along as Amos-san led him out into the city.

The buildings got less and less finished as they went until, at the edge of the city-in-progress, they were mostly wood and stone frames with tent canvas for walls. Amos-san finally stopped at one and rapped on the frame beside a drawn door-curtain.

"Gil! Are you in?"

The man who drew the curtain aside was even bigger and more solid-looking than Amos-san. He had a young face though, as far as Al could make out past the old scarring over most of it. "Shifu? What can I…?" He trailed off as his eyes fell on Al and widened.

Al tried not to sigh, and got ready to repeat the pertinent parts of his story. Again. He got very tired of explaining why he didn’t remember people.

"Gil, this is Alphonse Elric. I believe you’ve met." Amos-san sounded just a little too bland, and Al glanced at him with some suspicion.

"Alphonse?" The man, Gil-san, stepped forward, frankly staring. "You’re alive," he finally whispered.

Al paused. He didn’t remember the name Gil, but it sounded like this man knew a great deal about him. "Yes," he said, finally, and borrowed Amos-san’s words for the rest. "My brother healed me."

If anything, Gil-san’s eyes got wider.

"He’s come seeking a different kind of learning than the last time the Elrics visited us," Amos-san said, quite calm. "I think it would be best if he stayed with you, while he’s here."

There was some kind of protest in Gil-san’s expression as he turned to Amos-san, but it died as their eyes met. Finally Gil-san dropped his gaze and nodded.

"Excellent. I’m sure the two of you can help each other." Amos-san patted Al’s shoulder and turned back toward the center of the city.

Al didn’t know exactly what was going on, but he was sure that Amos-san was doing something for someone’s own good. He’d sounded far too much like Sensei at the end, there, not to be. "I don’t want to impose, Gil-san," he said, cautiously.

Gil-san snorted a little at that. "I’m sure you don’t." He shook himself and held the door-curtain aside. "You might as well come in."

The house was bare and simple; interior walls were half built or only marked out and the furniture was makeshift. Al was reminded of his thought about camping in the desert, and smiled.

"You are welcome," Gil-san told him, waving a rather sardonic hand at the crates and bed-rolls. "If you really want to be."

First things first, Al decided, firmly. "Gil-san, I’m afraid I don’t remember the years I traveled with my brother. It’s clear we met you, but, I’m sorry, I don’t recognize you at all."

Gil-san stopped by the scuffed table, looking at him for a long few breaths with unreadable eyes. Finally he nodded. "Only your life could buy your life." Al blinked at this succinct summing up of the price he’d paid as Gil-san turned away and rummaged in a flat chest, coming up with an extra bed roll. "There’s space in the bedroom; sharing shouldn’t be a problem."

Al was a bit bewildered by how Gil-san knew what had happened to him, and how simply he’d accepted it. Maybe a good night’s sleep would make it all make more sense. "Thank you, then." He bit his lip and added, "If, ah, I seem to be having strange dreams, please don’t be concerned. It… happens lately."

Gil-san’s hands paused for a moment, spreading out the bedding. "I see."

Al was starting to suspect that Gil-san did see, and he wasn’t sure whether that comforted or alarmed him.


"I’m sorry if I, um, miss anything," Al said the next morning as he cut bread for Gil to toast. "I’m afraid I didn’t recognize your name."

"I’m not surprised."

Al sighed. This was the third time he’d tried to imply that it would nice if Gil-san said how they’d met and none of them had gotten anywhere. He had a bad feeling it had been in Lior, where an Ishvarite could probably go unnoticed, and that had sounded like it had been a very bad time, when Winry and Rose told him about it. He didn’t want to push harder. Amos-san wouldn’t have brought him here if there had been problems between them, right?

Al would have felt better believing that if Amos-san’s smile had been even a little bit less like Sensei’s.

Al put the worry aside as well as he could, though, and set off for his first day of new research. Amos-san had said Al should look for someone named Alec.

"A gate, hm?" Alec-san turned out to be an old man with brushy gray hair and long hands and extremely sharp eyes. "A number of things have been called that." Alec-san paged through a book pulled down without looking from the shelves surrounding them. "Hm, yes. Human transmutation. Life and death, that. Does this look familiar?"

He held out the book, open to a sketch: an eye made up of eleven concentric circles. Chills slid down Al’s spine and he nodded positively. "Yes." He wasn’t sure where he’d seen it, but he recognized it. Which was fairly good evidence right there.

"Hmm." Alec-san set the book aside and leaned back. "The Gate before the Crown. That’s what our scholars and teachers have called the thing you seek after."

"Before the Crown?" Al asked, slowly. That was new.

Alec-san gave him a wintery smile. "Divinity, young man. The sum of all that is. That is the Crown."

Al’s eyes widened. "Oh."

"So it’s not surprising if you don’t remember it," Alec-san added, a bit breezily Al thought. "I doubt it’s possible to reach the Crown and remain your limited, mortal self. The Gate, though…" He pursed his lips thoughtfully. "That I suppose you might do. It will be interesting to see."

Al nodded politely and tried not to feel like a lab animal.

Alec-san pulled down another book. "Start with this. You’ll need to understand the concepts of the eleven realms and how they’re connected, if you want to understand what the Gate is. Don’t take it out of the library, here, we don’t have copies of any of these yet."

"Yes, sir. Thank you." Al settled in one of the other chairs and opened the book, determined to make as much as possible of his opportunity. He had one end of the thread, now, and that meant he could unravel the whole picture if he just worked hard enough. He’d follow that thread all the way to his memory and his brother, and be damned to anything that got in his way.

Behind him, Alec-san made an amused little hmph. "Two of a kind, you are, you and that boy. Amos got that right."

That nudged at Al’s attention, but he was already into his note-taking and what Amos-san had gotten right would have to wait for another time.

 

Poetic license has been taken with the Kabbala and the Tree of Life, in order to fit the Gate in there. Amos is the name I have given to Scar’s unnamed mentor. Alec and Nahal, though, are my own invention.

Rotation

Al ignored the rattle of the train wheels to scowl over his notebook,
certain at the bottom of his heart that his notes weren’t going to
do him any good. Plenty of people wrote about the Stone, but as far
as he could tell no alchemist, in four hundred years and more, had
written down anything about the Gate. Given his own experiences, he
supposed he couldn’t blame them, but still…! And Sensei must agree
that his books were a dead end, or she wouldn’t have loaded him on
the train for a visit home without a single book to his name except
one volume of poetry he’d bought a year ago and hadn’t opened since.

The whistle announcing the next stop was a welcome interruption. Even
more welcome was the sight of both Rose and Winry waving at him from
the platform.

"Winry!" he called, grabbing his suitcase and jumping down the stairs
as the train slowed. "You got a break too!" He grunted as she more
or less tackled him into the side of the train, and grinned. He was finally as tall as she was.

"Of course I got a break!" She hugged the breath the rest of the way
out of him. "You wrote and said you were coming home to visit, what
else was I going to do?"

She took him by the shoulders and held him off to arm’s length to look
him up and down.

"You look good," they said at the same time. There was a pause
and then laughter, and Al was glad for that, because his observation
had been a bit shyer than hers. Winry was wearing charcoal
overalls, instead of her old light blue ones, and she
looked… older. Which she was, of course, and she’d always been a
little older, but now she was a lot older and…

Well, she looked it.

Rose came to herd them off the platform, laughing softly herself. "Come
on you two, let’s go. I left bread in the oven, and you know Pinako-baachan
won’t remember to take it out if she’s working on that new knee for
Peter."

Al swung his suitcase as they walked, noting the little changes in the
fields by the road, listening to Winry talk about the new alloy mixes
she was experimenting with. It was good to be home. Sensei was great,
but this was home.


He got through dinner and the dishes, which he’d volunteered to help
Rose wash, before Pinako-baachan beckoned him back to the table with
the stem of her pipe. "And how’s your work going these days?" she asked.

Al sat back and looked at his folded hands for a moment. "I’ve made progress
this year," he said at last, quietly.

Rose set the teapot on the table and kicked off her sandals as she sat
down, curling one foot up under her. "You don’t sound very happy about it."

Al drew a finger down the side of his cup. "Sensei is pretty sure I’ve
already made the breakthrough I need. But you couldn’t tell it by me;
as far as I know, all I have is some really strange dreams." He shrugged,
rather uncomfortable with the whole thing. "So, um, don’t worry if
I get kind of… loud when I’m asleep. It’s nothing."

"Al…" Winry frowned. "What kind of dreams?" she asked softly.

Al’s mouth twisted and he took a quick drink to keep her from seeing.
"Well. Sensei thinks I’m actually reaching the Gate when I’m asleep.
That I’m seeing my own memories." He attempted a light tone.
"So I guess I have something back: memories of the dreams, some of them." He winced at the
darkness in Winry’s eyes and groped for a way to get off the topic
of his nightmares. "If the things the Gate takes away include memories,
I can see why there isn’t more written about it, I suppose, but," his
mouth tightened in genuine irritation, fear buried in scholarly ire,
"you’d think scientists would know better! I mean, honestly, it’s the
most basic experimental good sense to keep notes of everything, even
if you don’t know what they might be good for yet." He crossed his
arms and scowled, reminded all over again of just how unproductive
the past months had been.

"So nothing mentions this Gate at all?" Rose asked, curiously.

Al slumped bonelessly over the table, stretching his arms out along
it, comforted by the familiarity of the smooth, battered wood under his hands. "Nope." He sighed, drawing
concentric circles on the wood with a fingertip. "The only books
that mention anything like it are old Ishvarite philosophy texts, and
they’re not about alchemy." He frowned and tapped his finger. "I’m
not really sure what they are about, actually. Just that it’s definitely
not science."

"Well, you could ask the Ishvarites," Rose pointed out.

Al opened his mouth and then stopped with his jaw hanging there until
Winry tapped him on the head. "Al? You still in there? A bug’s going
to fly into your mouth, you know."

He closed his mouth, pausing only to stick out his tongue at her for
old times’ sake. "Rose-san, you’re brilliant!" He chewed on his lip,
and muttered, "Only the Ishvarites never talk to alchemists, I wonder
how I can get them to…"

"You’re not asking about alchemy," Rose stated. "You said it yourself;
you’re asking about philosophy." She smiled at him. "You and Winry
are just alike, you know. Always so focused on the practical. Sometimes
you forget to look up."

She looked up, herself, as laughter and excited barking drifted in the
window. Al thought her little Christopher was probably playing with
the new dog Al had helped Winry pick out two years ago; Den sounded
a lot gruffer than that, these days, and was too stiff to run around with a young boy. Rose’s mouth tilted. "Sometimes
the problem isn’t what you think it is," she said quietly. "You
don’t want to miss the moment it turns into something else, just because you
were concentrating too hard on what it used to be."

Al thought maybe she wasn’t talking about alchemy or the Gate any longer.
But the tightness in Pinako-baachan’s face indicated that might
not be the best thing to point out right now. "I’ll try not to," he
promised.

Rose shook herself. "Well, good then!" She poured Al another cup of tea and smiled at Winry. "Any problems you have that I should solve while I’m at it?"

Winry laughed. "I’ve gotten better! I haven’t even forgotten to eat because I’m working more than once in the last couple months." She paused. "Well, maybe twice." Another, slightly fidgety pause. "Definitely not more than three times!"

Al relaxed in the warmth and laughter of the kitchen, and the thought that he might have a way forward again.

End

Not the Direction of Gravity


Al

"Alphonse! Get out of this house and take a walk!"

Al looked up from his desk, blinking. "But… I’m studying…"

Sensei put her hands on her hips. "I know. You have bags under your
eyes I could pack for vacation in, and the last time we sparred I wasn’t
even breathing hard." She
pointed a commanding finger at the door. "Out!"

"But…" Al glanced out the window, protests taking on a faint note of
desperation. "It’s about to rain!"

She folded her arms and just loomed. Al sighed and marked his place
with his pencil. "Yes, Sensei. It’ll probably do me good, right?"

Her mouth twitched and she put a hand on his head, half ruffle and half
swat, as he passed her. "And quit stealing my lines."


Al picked an easy path, down by the lakeshore under the trees where the
light rain wouldn’t get him too wet. Sensei was probably right. His
brain felt so full it might spill if he moved too fast, and his thoughts
jostled against each other. He was pretty good at modern alchemical
codes, but he’d been reading much older texts, and if you went back
far enough it was as much philosophy as science and every statement
seemed to mean at least three different things at once. Probably more,
actually, but he had threes on the brain; it was Trismegistus’ fault.
And Salmon’s. Mercury meant spirit meant animal, and where did that get him?

He toed a stone in the path, not kicking it, just rocking it in its bed
of dampening dirt. Now that he was actually outside and didn’t have
a book in his hands, he wanted to do something physical. A swim would
be nice; the sound of the lake’s wavelets against the shore was soothing
and tempting. He held out a hand and watched a few raindrops patter
down onto his palm, thoughtfully.

Well… since he was going to get wet anyway…

Al stripped down to his undershorts and hung his clothes on the branch
of a maple that looked dry underneath. He shivered a little as he waded
in; it wasn’t full summer yet, and the water wasn’t exactly warm. He
was laughing under his breath though. He didn’t act on impulse too
often, usually he had to be the sensible one.

Maybe now he could see why Nii-san spent so much time grinning.

He sighed softly and launched himself out into the water, stroking toward
the huge boulder some glacier had left halfway to the middle of the
lake. He would see his brother again. He would. A few years was nothing;
he could keep looking a lot longer than that. Apparently, he already
had once.

His breath felt like it was filling his lungs all the way up again by
the time he reached the rock. He turned over and rested his head in
a hollow and floated, looking up at the sky under his lashes. The rain
made it look like the sky was coming down to meet him.

Well, after all, the dusty old philosophers and the shiny new scientists both agreed
that all the world was one, in the end.

He wriggled his toes in the water, reminding himself that he wasn’t studying
right now. Maybe it would help divert him if he paid more attention
to sensations. He took a moment to do so and chuckled. It felt very
strange, once he noticed. The rain speckled down on part of him, busy
and distracting, while the rest of him was underwater and barely felt
the occassional current or the passing of a wave.

Come to think of it, his brain felt an awful lot like that. Al let his
eyes drift half shut. Odd that thoughts could have sensation, too.
But there was definitely a much-less-jostling part in there, underneath.

The more he thought about how the quiet part felt, the quieter everything
got. Thoughts drifted instead of jostled. Symbols floated instead of
flickered. The circled dot, for the sun, for the Eye, and for gold,
and that made sense since "gold" meant inclusion. The inside
of a circle. All the stages in one, destruction and creation together
and that was life, wasn’t it? The process of living was alchemy. Everything
became something else from moment to moment, but somehow it was all
still there. That was life.

And life was perfection. Always perfecting everything, refining until
each thing was itself.

Sensei knew that. Al smiled, in the floating stillness, with the
satisfaction of that thought.

Maybe Nii-san did too. Those last lines in his notes: "The Gate
is in every living heart". Living. Yes. And it all connected,
because the circled dot was also the Eye, and Nii-san had drawn the
eye in his first notes about the Gate, hadn’t he?

The simple circled dot in Al’s head gained more lines, a curve above and below,
and a glory radiating around it. It wasn’t sketched anymore, though.

He looked closer.

It was… carved.

He reached out to run his fingers over the texture, which was weirdly
slick and sharp, and another line appeared, running straight down the
middle. He realized that the eye was carved on a slab, and the slab
was really two slabs. It was… a door.

It cracked open.

 

Al jerked and floundered wildly for a moment before he was sure his head
was really above water. He clutched the rock, panting a little while
the adrenaline burn died back to a sizzle in his blood.

Had he just fallen asleep out here? In the water? He was lucky
he hadn’t drowned!

Wait, no, he’d been thinking something. Something big. Al chewed on his
lip, trying to remember, but all he could catch hold of were fragments
of ideas about gold and circles and life. He pounded his fist, lightly,
on the stone, annoyed. "Damn damn damn damn damn!"

Finally he let it go and pulled in a deep, calming breath. He’d have
to try to catch hold of it again tonight, as he was falling asleep,
and hope he could hold on to enough to write it down. For now, he’d
just work off his annoyance by swimming back to shore, and maybe not
mention this to Sensei. If she knew he’d ‘wasted’ his exercise time
thinking, she might get more direct about making sure he got more physical
activity.

Izumi

Izumi scrambled out of bed, ignoring Sig’s grunt as she planted a hand
on his stomach for leverage.

Al had screamed.

She strode down the hall and threw open his door, eyes sweeping the room
for any threat. But there was only Alphonse, bolt upright in bed, eyes
huge and dark and staring at nothing. She came and took his shoulders
gently. "Al? Al, wake up. It’s all right."

She hoped she wasn’t lying.

His hands closed on her arms hard enough to bruise. "Empty,"
he gasped, sounding like he’d been running for miles, and maybe for
his life. "It echoed. Inside me was empty and it echoed!"

Izumi slid further onto the bed and cuddled Al as if he weren’t almost
as tall as she was. As if she could enfold and protect him. Her lips
were pale and tight as she stared over his head into the darkness.
"It’s all right," she murmured again. "You’re here. It’s now. There’s
no echo now, right?"

The desperate tension in him unwound just a little, and he started shaking
against her. "I… yes. I mean, no. I mean…"

"Shhhh." Izumi stroked his hair, sifting her fingers through the springy
strands. She had almost hoped she was wrong about what he meant, but
no such luck. She sighed, resting her cheek against the top of his
head, rocking him a little as the shaking grew worse and the shoulder
of her nightgown started getting wet.

He’d found it. Or it had found him. And in the morning she’d have to
try to figure out how. Try to find some way to keep the idiot boy from diving head-first into the Gate after his stolen memories and
destroying himself with his own brilliance.

Again.

But for tonight they could both pretend that she could protect him, and
that everything would be all right. And if the world could spare them
both just a little kindness, maybe he could sleep out the night safe
in her arms.

End

 

This was written on 9/24/06. Yes, I know. Yes, it took me this long to give in and admit I wasn’t going to finish the arc, and post what I have.

This Moment to Arise – Stumbles

Tetsuya was starting to feel that it was somehow fate: if one of his partners wasn’t sulking, the other would be. Kagami had been sulking for a solid week, in fact, starting from the moment the doctor had informed him he had put micro-tears in the muscle of his calves and strictly forbidden him from playing for two weeks. He wasn’t even allowed to practice, only to do very gentle stretches up on the stage, glowering at thin air under the coach’s stern eye. Like the other end of a see-saw coming up, Aomine had become cheerful again. In fact, he was grinning as they lined up to board the train out to the arena hosting this year’s Interhigh tournament.

Aomine would be the only ace who got to play against Kaijou, for their first round.

He was so cheerful he was nearly whistling, and he took the seat next to Kagami’s, most likely so that he could keep waving his cheerfulness in Kagami’s face. Tetsuya rolled his eyes a little and took a seat against the back of theirs so he didn’t have to watch it. They were like a couple of little kids sometimes.

Momoi settled next to him, humming to herself, which was a better sign. “You’re confident?” he asked quietly.

She smiled, the distant, calculating smile she wore during matches. “Ki-chan is always the hardest to predict because his progress depends so much on who else he’s played recently. But Dai-chan is back in condition, now, and he’ll be playing his best since it’s against Ki-chan.” Her smile turned rueful as Kagami and Aomine’s muttered exchange devolved into a brief wrestling match, behind them. “And Kagamin and Dai-chan still distract each other sometimes, when they play together. Maybe it’s best, for this match, that it’s only Dai-chan.” She leaned against his shoulder. “And you.”

He gave her the tiny smile that only his teammates ever seemed to learned how to spot. “And you.”

On the way to a match, she was in a serious enough mood to not indulge in any over-the-top public affection, and just looked back at him, eyes sparkling with the wicked edge of her own determination. “Of course.”

This year’s venue was down the coast, a town that catered to beach-goers, and a brisk breeze off the water blew through the open streets and snapped the pennons that marched up the steps to the arena. Tetsuya breathed it in, tasting the electric edge in the atmosphere. Knots of other students in school uniforms ignored the gathering crowd around them, aware only of each other. Everyone was here to win, and everyone knew they might lose, and the eyes of the players were bright with that tension every time glances crossed.

Tetsuya loved this. He loved the uncertainty and need and excitement. He knew exactly what it was that drove Kagami against Tetsuya’s old team. He knew what it was that Aomine missed so desperately it turned his eyes dark and dull. And even though he’d ignored Akashi’s plans and orders for the two of them, and followed his own judgement instead, he hoped that Aomine would find what he needed again today, facing Kise as an opponent. Aomine was smiling, which he really hadn’t, yet, through all the preliminaries. There was a manic edge in that smile that made Tetsuya’s spine crinkle, though. He thought he wasn’t the only one to notice, because Kagami watched Aomine from the corner of his eye as the team got changed, not sulky any more but frowning just a little.

“All right,” Hyuuga-san called, waving them to gather close. “We’ve played Kaijou once, but don’t let that make you overconfident. I doubt they were going all out, not in a practice match, and Kasamatsu knows what we can do, now. Stay sharp.” He nodded as everyone chorused agreement, and then reached up to wrap a hand around the back of Aomine’s neck. “Except for you,” he added. “You need to calm down.” He shook Aomine a little, holding his rather startled gaze. “Kaijou isn’t running away, and you don’t need to hunt them down for pity’s sake. Breathe.”

Tetsuya was actually the one who followed that order, breathing out as one thread of tension uncoiled down his back. He had been right, so right, to bring Aomine to Seirin.

Even if Aomine was currently looking at their captain with that manic edge fading back into shadows. “They probably will, after this,” he said, low and so matter-of-fact it made something twist in Tetsuya’s chest.

Out of that tight twist, he said, “Kise-kun never runs away. Especially not from you.”

Aomine hesitated, and finally lowered his chin. “Yeah. He doesn’t.”

Hyuuga-san shook his head at them, mouth quirked. “And now the we’ve had the moment of brooding that seems absolutely required for you two, get out on the damn court and play!” He gave Aomine a little push.

“Yes, Captain,” Tetsuya agreed blandly over Aomine’s indignant sound, and gave his partner a much firmer shove toward the door with a hand in the small of his back. Aomine pouted at him but went, and Kagami followed after them, rolling his eyes. Fortunately it only took a few steps for Aomine to remember that Kise was waiting for them, and then he picked up his pace.

Momoi touched Tetsuya’s shoulder, just before the team went out onto the court. “Tetsu-kun. Are you all right with this, too?” She glanced over at Kaijou, at Kise, who was already smiling that sharp little smile he wore when he let the rest of the world fall away and just played. The one he only ever wore when he played Aomine. Tetsuya watched Aomine’s smile start to sharpen in answer and sighed softly.

“Being unnoticed is my specialty, Momoi-san.”

She bit her lip at that, and he touched her hand lightly, shaking his head. He couldn’t say he didn’t mind; sometimes he got really tired of it. But the fact remained, this was his specialty. His strength. So he stepped out onto the court in Aomine’s shadow, and took what amusement he could in watching Aomine and Kise exchange jabs, and didn’t interject to mention that, even if Kise could beat Aomine this time, Kaijou would not defeat Seirin.

Because Tetsuya was here, also.

Kaijou clearly intended to test that, though. Kise got the ball at once, and only Aomine’s raw speed struck the ball out of his hands and into Hyuuga-san’s for the first basket. Just as Momoi has predicted, Kasamatsu-san gave Kise the ball again, and Hyuuga-san growled audibly when his own three-point form was repeated. Aomine was there again to deflect it, and Mitobe-senpai got the rebound, but Kasamatsu-san stole the ball from Izuki-senpai as soon as he went to pass it and took a basket of his own with beautiful speed and precision.

"Don’t think we’re nice enough to just let you take control of the game," Kasamatsu-san told Izuki-senpai with a tight smile.

Tetsuya nodded to himself, watching. Momoi was right; Kaijou believed that Kise could stop Aomine, and were covering for him while he tried.

They might be right.

He watched Aomine and Kise bare their teeth at each other and scuffle back and forth with cuts almost too fast to follow. He could hear Izuki-senpai’s hiss of indrawn breath when Kise leaped to block Aomine’s shot cleanly. Kise was developing his game fast, at Kaijou, maybe even faster than he had at Teikou. And he had a team prepared to support him, a team led by someone who made Momoi’s eyes burn brighter when she talked about his strength and how to oppose him.

But that was all right, because the more Kise and Aomine drew the eye, the stronger Tetsuya’s own counter-move would be.

Tetsuya flexed his knees, watching his marker out of the corner of his eye. They’d chosen the hyperactive one, the one who went up for all the rebounds. This one would respond fast when he lost sight of Tetsuya. He hadn’t been part of the practice game, though, and would be surprised the first time he experienced it. As soon as Aomine closed again to mark Kise, Tetsuya took the moment of distraction when his own marker glanced at his captain for direction to fade to the side, behind, around, each step smooth and easy, sliding one step ahead of the path of the other player’s gaze as he jerked around, looking for Tetsuya. Who, of course, was now in exactly the opposite direction, closing on Kasamatsu-san. He caught up just as Kasamatsu-san spun to the side to evade Izuki-senpai, and tapped the ball out of his hands, sending it singing back down the court to Mitobe-senpai to take the next basket.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured in answer to Kasamatsu-san’s ferocious glare, “but we’re not nice enough to let you have control of the game, either.”

Kasamatsu-san snorted, eyes glinting as he straightened. “Uppity first-year brats everywhere,” he declared, and spun back to re-deploy his team.

Tetsuya bent his head for a breath, storing up the satisfaction of having such a strong player count him in with Kise and Aomine, to hold back the bitter edge of watching Kise and Aomine focus on nothing but each other. Of watching Aomine forget, again, that he had a partner on this court. He’d known it would probably happen, after all.

By the end of the first quarter, Kaijou was ahead and his senpai were getting tense. But Tetsuya could see Aomine’s focus tightening on the challenge Kise presented. When Aomine stood back up from the bench, the weight of his focus was heavy in the air, and Kagami snorted softly, leaning back on his hands. “Nothing to worry about, huh?” he asked.

Aomine didn’t look around. “Of course not.”

Tetsuya looked over at Momoi, questioning, and, at her nod, sat back down himself.

“Tsuchida,” Kantoku called, “you’re in. Make sure you get the rebounds, because that Hayakawa they’ve put in for the tournament games has way too good a record at that. Watch everyone’s backs!”

Beside Tetsuya, Kagami made a startled sound, looking down at Tetsuya with raised brows. “But aren’t you more of an advantage than him, while the misdirection lasts? Why are they pulling you out already?”

“Because Dai-chan is getting serious,” Momoi said softly, behind them. “If we need to bring Tetsu-kun in at the end, he’s going to need all the rest he can get now, to keep up with how fast Dai-chan will be going by then.”

Kagami looked a little skeptical, but turned back to the court, elbows on his knees as he watched the game start up again.

By half-time, he wasn’t looking skeptical any more. Aomine was moving faster and faster, pushing against every advance Kise made, sliding around him like water, blocking his shots. Most of Kaijou’s baskets were coming from Kasamatsu-san, now, while Seirin had both Hyuuga-san and Aomine making points. They were pulling ahead.

“All right,” Kantoku said, hands on her hips as she stood in front of the bench. “This is the breaking point. Either they’ll go with Kise or they won’t. Aomine-kun, will you be ready, if Kise can really complete his copy of you?”

Aomine’s lips peeled back from his teeth, and his eyes were fixed on the empty court. “Of course I will.”

Riko-kantoku sighed and leaned forward to grab him by the ear. “You will not enter the Zone, understand? You’re back in reasonable condition, but that would put too much strain on your body, still. Now use your brain to actually think and answer me: if Kise can complete his copy of your techniques, can you still deal with him?”

“Ow, shit, okay already!” Aomine rubbed his ear, nearly pouting up at their couch. “Yeah, I’ll be okay; Kise isn’t as fast as me.”

Kantoku raised an eyebrow at Momoi, and her shoulders straightened in response to Momoi’s firm nod. “All right, then, no player changes yet. You all know the strategy, if they don’t go with Kise: Mitobe will join in to double mark Kasamatsu. Now get out there and play!”

When play started again, it was tense. Kaijou was pushing hard, but Kise always passed the ball when it came to him. “You were right,” Kantoku murmured to Momoi. “Look at how Kise-kun is always on Aomine-kun. He’s not just marking tightly, is he?”

“No,” Momoi agreed softly, clipboard clasped tight to her chest. “He’s going to try it.”

“Will it really work, even if he sees it?” Kagami wanted to know, glancing up at her. “I mean, Aomine’s kind of a freak, just physically; can Kise copy his moves?”

Riko-kantoku hummed absently, eyes on the game. “Kise’s physical condition is at least as good, and his potential is equal to Aomine-kun’s. He might not have quite the edge of speed, but he comes very close.” She glowered down at Kagami in a forbidding manner. “You’re still working up to that level, and you’ll be working harder as soon as your legs are healed, believe me.”

Kagami snorted, apparently unconcerned by the ‘triple drills’ glint in her eyes. “Of course. That’s why I’m still with Seirin.”

Momoi caught Tetsuya’s eye and they smiled at each other, wry and tilted. Kagami really was a great deal like Aomine used to be.

And Aomine was looking a little more like himself, as he watched Kise watching him, teeth glinting in a sharp, eager smile every time Kise broke away to try one of Aomine’s moves against another player. He started up on his toes every time that happened, and his return baskets came fast and hard. “Aomine-kun wants Kise-kun to do it,” Tetsuya noted, quietly.

“Well of course he does,” Kagami answered, at the same moment Koganei-senpai said, “Aomine is weird.” Koganei-senpai grinned a little, and added, “Kagami, too.”

“It is not weird,” Kagami insisted, indignant. “I’m not saying he’s not an asshole, but he just wants a game worth playing, that’s not weird.” And then he frowned at Momoi and Tetsuya. “Why are you laughing?”

Momoi wiped her eyes, still giggling. “This is why Dai-chan loves Kagamin.”

Tetsuya smiled faintly out at the court while Kagami turned red and sputtered. The shift in Aomine’s stance pulled him forward on the bench, though. Aomine had been making more and more daring formless shots—daring for anyone who wasn’t Aomine, at least—but he’d just fallen completely out of stance, ball in one hand, other hand planted on his hip. He slung the ball over Kise, careless and hard, and it smacked off the backboard and through the net, leaving silence behind it. They could hear him on the bench when he said, “Quit screwing around, Kise. If you don’t hurry up it’ll all be over. I’m not patient enough to wait until you’re all ready.”

Hyuuga-san dragged a hand over his face. “Aomine, you little brat…”

Kasamatsu-san barked a laugh. “You think that matters? Who the hell cares about your patience?” The throw-in smacked into his hands and he spun free of Izuki-senpai, and sent a three-point shot sailing through the hoop. "Know your place, first-year. You’re not the only player on this court!"

Tetsuya shivered a little, watching. Kaijou seemed to take those words as inspiration, tightening up their defense even more. The next time Hyuuga-san shot, Moriyama was there to block it. The team pulled in around Kise, guarding the score unwaveringly while he prepared. And Tetsuya saw the moment Kise understood what his team was doing, saw the tiny, true smile that curved his lips before he sank into a taut, familiar stance, facing Aomine.

And broke past him like lightning.

The whole bench were on their feet as Aomine gave chase, Momoi shouting a warning just as his feet left the ground that bit too forcefully, driving him into Kise’s back. And Kise completed the shot with a hook behind both of them that sank through the net as though rolling downhill.

“He did it!” Kagami yelled, pounding on Tetsuya’s shoulder, wonder and excitement in his voice just as though it wasn’t the opponent’s ace he was talking about.

“Yes,” Tetsuya agreed, fingers curling tight. Aomine was standing under the basket, blank and shocked by the actual experience of being passed, but the blankness was slowly fading into a burning focus Tetsuya hadn’t seen in over a year. It made his chest tighten, seeing it again, but there was a chill settling around him as well. This was what Aomine wanted, needed, but would he forget the progress they’d made this year, now he had it? Would he forget Tetsuya completely again?

The next ball was stolen when Tsuchida-senpai passed it back to Hyuuga-san, and Kise cut past Aomine again only to have Aomine slap the ball out of his hands, right at the hoop, so hard it landed in the stands.

The other first-years were making shocked sounds, but Tetsuya just nodded to himself. This was more like Aomine, far more like him than all the lazy slouching and drawled complaints of the past year. Aomine blazed through the Kaijou team and faded back almost parallel to the floor to make his shot over Kise’s block.

“He really likes that one,” Kagami grumbled, and Tetsuya smiled a little. Kagami had been on the receiving end of that move more than once, to be sure. It was one of the things that made him think Kagami might be the answer for both Aomine and himself.

Kise’s next shot was the one Aomine had just used, and the ball went in just as smoothly.

Momoi whistled softly. “Ki-chan really has done it. He isn’t as fast, but he’s adjusted his movement for that. His change of pace has just as much impact, and his flexibility is already equal.” She frowned. “Riko-kantoku, this might be a problem.”

“Mm.” Kantoku shot a glance at the scoreboard, where Seirin was only two points ahead. “I was hoping to have more of a lead, yes, but… Kaijou is a very strong team, under Kasamatsu-san. Kuroko. Make sure you’re warmed up.”

Tetsuya nodded quietly. “Yes, Kantoku.” He started stretching his legs out, eyes steady on the flow of the game. Or, perhaps, the rocking of the game, back and forth between Kise and Aomine, basket after basket. They raced furiously after each other, up and down the court, teeth bared, burning fiercer than Tetsuya had ever seen them, before.

Of course, there was a reason he’d never seen them stretched all-out against each other.

There were only a few minutes left to go in the last quarter when Kise faltered and the whole court froze, watching his ball circle the rim, around and around, before it finally fell in.

“That’s it,” Riko-kantoku snapped, and signaled for a time-out. As the players came in, she clapped Tsuchida-senpai on the shoulder. “All right, Kise-kun’s finally reaching the limit of his endurance. We’re putting Kuroko-kun in. Aomine.” She latched onto his ear again, hauling him down eye to eye. “You and Kuroko will double-team Kise to get the ball away from him or past him. We need to open up the lead, because Kaijou won’t just let us go.” She nodded toward the other bench, where, sure enough, the Kaijou players were gathered around Kasamatsu-san, still focused and intent.

“Not like you have to tell me,” Aomine complained, rubbing his ear, and then he slanted a sharp, wild grin at Tetsuya. “You ready?”

The tightness in Tetsuya’s chest loosened all at once, and he smiled back, tugging his wrist-warmers to settle them just as he liked. “Of course.”

He was better than all right. He wanted to laugh. He felt relief sparkling through his veins. This was the partner he remembered.

And when they stepped onto the court, it was the combination he remembered, his partner’s casual, perfect awareness of him as Tetsuya slid into the path of the ball and struck it back towards Aomine, turning his movement jagged and unpredictable. They shook Kise loose once, twice, and Kise caught them the third time but faltered again, stumbling on his landing from blocking Aomine’s shot. Tetsuya caught the wild-flying ball, spun, sent it scorching back to his partner, and Aomine slammed it home. It was hot, fast, incredible play, and Tetsuya gloried in it. Kaijou wasn’t giving way against it, though. Kasamatsu-san stole the ball back for a three-pointer, hauling Seirin’s lead back down to three points, and Aomine bared his teeth.

“Full court, Tetsu,” he breathed. “You can do it for me, can’t you?” And he was gone without waiting for an answer, sprinting down the court toward Kaijou’s basket.

That was all right. Aomine obviously knew what the answer was already. Tetsuya stepped over the boundary line, took the ball, and whirled the weight of it around himself until he could fire it back down the court, hard and heavy.

“Kurokocchi!” Kise yelled, and he was already nearly on top of Aomine; he’d known it was coming, too. Despite the danger of having the last ball they’d have time for stolen, Tetsuya smiled a little. Aomine. Kise. They both knew what he could do.

It was such a good feeling to have again.

Both Aomine and Kise went up, Aomine to dunk and Kise to block it, struggling against each other, each with a hand on the ball. For a long second, they seemed to hang there, perfectly balanced against each other, but then the balance tipped, broke, and Kise’s hand slipped as Aomine slammed the ball into the net.

The buzzer sounded.

Tetsuya’s mouth tightened as Kise stumbled again on landing and went down. Playing so hard against each other, the way they’d never been permitted to do before… he wasn’t surprised. Nor was he surprised when Aomine hesitated, standing over Kise, hand twitching uncertainly at his side. In that hesitation, it was Kise’s new captain who shouldered past Aomine and bent over Kise to give him a hand up. To lift him, when his legs gave out. Aomine turned away quietly to meet Tetsuya and the rest of his own team.

“You sure you don’t want to say anything?” Hyuuga-san asked, mopping his face as they went to line up. “I mean, it’s not like you have to forget you knew each other, even if you’re opponents, now.”

“There’s nothing the winner can say to the loser that would do any good,” Aomine said, low, and Tetsuya stepped up to his partner’s side, brushing his shoulder in passing.

He’d always wondered if maybe Aomine hadn’t really thought through the consequences of splitting the team the way Akashi had demanded (and Tetsuya had re-interpreted for his own purposes). If Aomine really did keep winning, he would have to face his teammates after they’d taken a true loss at his hands. He’d have to see Kise’s face twisted with the tears he was trying, for once, to hold back, and see someone else’s hand ruffling Kise’s hair, steadying him. It wasn’t in Aomine’s nature to think ahead like that, not like it was in Tetsuya’s. Tetsuya met Kasamatsu-san’s eyes as Kaijou’s captain supported Kise to face them, and bowed soberly.

He had known this was coming, and resolved himself to it months ago. It still hurt a little.

It wasn’t until they were leaving, until Aomine stubbed his toe on the stairs down from the arena and almost tripped, and Kantoku’s voice sharpened with concern, that he realized there were implications he hadn’t thought through enough either. Or maybe just hadn’t believed. When Kantoku and Aomine came back from the hospital, though, Kantoku’s face set and Aomine’s dark, he felt the true weight of those implications land like a rock in the pit of his stomach. A chill ran through him, like a cloud had crossed the sun and cut off the light.

“A week and a half off the court,” Kantoku told them, flat and grim.

“Are we going to use Kagami next week, then?” Hyuuga-san asked.

Riko-kantoku’s hands clenched hard for a moment. “No,” she ground out.

Kagami jerked upright from where he’d been leaning against the stage. “But…!”

“I said no!” Kantoku barked, rounding on him. “The doctor said two weeks, and it will be two weeks! I’m not letting anyone who’s injured set foot on the court!”

Kagami stepped back, eyes a little wide, hands raised, and Hyuuga-san rested a hand on Kantoku’s shoulder for a moment. “We’ll deal with it,” he said firmly.

Tetsuya took a slow breath and held on to the firmness of his captain’s words, to steady himself. They would deal with it. As a team.

Even if it was a team that didn’t include either of his partners.


Both Tetsuya’s partners were sulking when the team got to the Interhigh venue a week later. At least they were doing it quietly now, since Riko-kantoku had shown no tolerance for whining and actually made Koganei-senpai bring her a paper fan to smack both Kagami and Aomine with whenever they complained out loud. Momoi had looked enchanted with the idea, and it had been a lighter moment in the middle of the week’s frantic training toward today’s match.

Momoi was looking a lot more serious, now, as she did last-minute briefing while everyone got changed. “…so all of Touou’s players are strong, this year, and they have a real reputation for individual play, but you absolutely must keep your eye on their captain. Imayoshi-san is unquestionably the one who’s shaped Touou’s recent play style, and all of my sources agree that he’s frighteningly good at grasping the one thing you least want him to figure out.” She flipped her notes closed and finished, “Tetsu-kun. If he targets anyone, it’s most likely to be you.”

Tetsuya shrugged to settle his shirt over his shoulders. “There’s nothing to do but deal with it, if it happens.”

A hand landed on his head, ruffling his hair firmly. “Quit stealing my lines,” Hyuuga-san told him. “You can panic a little if you want to, you know. All four of you are way too calm to be first-years.”

“Yes, Captain,” Tetsuya agreed, calmly. All his senpai rolled their eyes, which amused him; someone, some time, had taught his current team how to tell when someone was teasing with a straight face. He wondered who it had been.

“All right, people,” Hyuuga-san said, louder. “Don’t lose your focus just because there isn’t a Miracle on the other side. Let’s go!”

It was so familiar, stepping out under the weight of the lights, week after week, to meet whoever faced them. Familiar and also not, because this time, every time, victory was uncertain. The uncertainly pulled Tetsuya’s nerves tight and made his breath faster.

It was part of what he played for.

Touou’s captain, Imayoshi, smiled as he shook Hyuuga-san’s hand, running an eye over the team. “Leaving both your aces on the bench? That’s a little overconfident, don’t you think?” Without changing his pleasant expression in the slightest, he added, “Or maybe just careless. I suppose you’re still a young captain. Perhaps you’ll learn, today, to take better care of them for the winter.”

Tetsuya could almost see the moment Hyuuga-san’s temper, always chancy during a game, snapped. He smiled back at Imayoshi, toothy. “I don’t need some snake-eyed bastard on the other side telling me that.” He turned on his heel and stalked to his position, glaring the shortest Touou player out of his way, and barked at his team, “Let’s go!”

Imayoshi actually clutched a hand to his chest. “So cruel!” Tetsuya saw the way he looked after Hyuuga-san, though. Measuring. Calculating. Perfectly cool. A little shiver went through him. Momoi had been exactly on target, as usual; this was their most dangerous opponent.

Indeed, even though Momoi had warned them to be on guard, Imayoshi still managed to intercept the tip-off and, when Hyuuga-san blocked him, passed the ball too high for Tetsuya to catch. It went to Touou’s outside shooter and left his hands again almost as fast as the one of Tetsuya’s own redirections. The first basket was Touou’s, and it was a three-pointer. Tetsuya’s team exchanged grim looks. This was going to be every bit as hard as Momoi and Riko-kantoku had projected.

Touou was fast and strong. The center who guarded their net on defense wrestled with Tsuchida-senpai for every ball. Their shooting guard looked even slighter than Tetsuya, but he shot fast enough that, even warned, Hyuuga-san had to fight to block even some of his balls. Their captain, their point guard, had a sharp eye for the flow of the game and always sent the ball toward a weak spot—the extra moment Izuki-senpai needed to get turned around, the instant Hyuuga-san was distracted by the threat of a pass to Sakurai, the opening behind Mitobe-senpai’s back the moment he stepped forward to screen.

Tetsuya took a breath and sank himself into that flow also, hearing the murmur of Momoi’s analysis in the back of his head. Their center had good accuracy up close but not at any distance; when he was away from the net, he always passed. Tetsuya slid into the path of the ball and turned it toward Hyuuga-san’s hands. Touou’s shooting guard was blindingly fast but that meant he never had as firm a grip on the ball as another player might. Tetsuya faded away from his marker and sprinted to strike the ball out of Sakurai’s hands. He could feel his team settling around him, settling in for a long fight, but always poised to receive the ball. Poised because Tetsuya was on the court, and they expected it of him, trusted him to intervene. Part of him basked in that feeling, in the reliance of his team.

But part of him was aware of Imayoshi’s eyes catching him, over and over again, like an unexpected hand dropping onto his shoulder from behind.

Still, they were holding on. By the middle of the second quarter, when the rest of Touou started being able to find him, too, Seirin was eight points ahead. Tetsuya tagged Koganei-senpai at the side-lines and dropped onto the bench between Aomine and Kagami, breathing hard.

“I will never get how you can be so calm in the middle of such a hot game,” Kagami told him, shaking his head.

“Tetsu? Calm?” Aomine stared at Kagami like he was crazy. “Tetsu’s never calm, he just doesn’t actually, you know, yell about things.”

Tetsuya huffed into the towel he was scrubbing over his face. “I can’t keep track of the game if I’m one of the ones yelling,” he pointed out, hanging it around his neck and reaching for his water. It was true; he had to pay close attention to what was happening to keep up with everyone else, to be in the right place for his passes. However much passion he brought to the game, he had to observe everything carefully, even himself.

He knew that wasn’t how his partners played. But he wasn’t like his partners. He wondered, sometimes, what it would be like to play hot and thoughtless the way they did. He knew it wasn’t how his game, his strength, would ever work, but sometimes he wondered.

The second-years were playing pretty hot, themselves, now, pushing to keep Seirin’s lead. Touou was pushing back, though, and Momoi made an annoyed sound between her teeth as Imayoshi feinted around Izuki-senpai and faded back for another three-pointer. “That man is entirely too good at faking opponents out,” she declared, clearly offended that even her scouting beforehand wasn’t quite enough of an edge to close Imayoshi down.

“He’s the one who’s making their individual plays work, too,” Kantoku agreed, mouth a little tight. “We’ll just have to tighten up our own coordination to stop them.”

Aomine had been watching the game with his elbows on his knees, head cocked a little as Kantoku moved down the bench a little, tracking play with a frown of concentration. “There’s something a little weird about Seirin that way, don’t you think?” He glanced over at Tetsuya and then back at Momoi. “About the second-years. I mean, they’re tight, yeah. Really tight. But, being as tight as that, shouldn’t they be able to make more advanced plays?”

Tetsuya made a thoughtful noise, considering his senpai’s play. Touou’s center back-cut around Mitobe-senpai. Hyuuga-san wasn’t quite close enough to interfere properly, and the center threw one of those ferocious passes to their shooting guard. “Mmm.” He had to agree; even knowing Seirin wasn’t a defensive team, he’d have expected someone as experienced as Hyuuga-san to catch that.

Momoi was nibbling her lower lip. “It’s…” She hesitated, which was uncharacteristic enough to make Tetsuya brows rise.

“Shut up, Aomine.” Kantoku didn’t look away from the court. “I know already, you don’t have to rub it in.”

“It isn’t your fault, Kantoku,” Momoi said softly, while Aomine was blinking.

“No, but it’s my responsibility, now.” Their coach took a slow breath and glanced down the bench at the suddenly questioning looks of every first-year on it. “I’m this team’s coach, yes, but my experience is in training, not strategy. Our strategist is… away right now.” Her hand clenched on her knee, and her voice fell. “Just a little longer. If we can just hold on a little longer; he’s almost ready to come back.”

Tetsuya tucked this new information away; it sounded like their team would be bolstered even more than he’d thought, if they could just win this round. He looked back at the game, focusing like he was out there himself, watching the pattern of the second-years’ plays. This was where he put his own fire, where almost no one ever really saw it, into his focus on his team and opponents. This was what he had to strengthen, to support, to make shine—the absolute solidity of Hyuuga-san’s outside shots, Mitobe-senpai’s steady judgement under the basket, Izuki-senpai’s grasp of position.

He could do it.

The second-years were wringing wet and panting when they came in for half-time, and fell on Mitobe-senpai’s honeyed lemons like wolves. Tetsuya was absently grateful that Kagami had brought a batch of his own, and offered them around to the first-years. Even, reluctantly, Aomine, though they got into a brief wrestling match over it when Aomine smirked and tried to take four at once.

“You know, I’m not even sure I’m joking about Dai-chan liking Kagamin,” Momoi said to Tetsuya, not all that quietly. “He acts just like a little boy pulling a little girl’s hair because he likes her.”

That had the effect Tetsuya had no doubt she’d intended, as both Aomine and Kagami broke off fighting with each other to protest. He smiled back, faintly, at her tiny grin, but most of his attention was still on the game—on what he’d seen, and how he’d need to play in the last quarter.

It was, he thought, a good thing he had stayed focused, because when they got to the fourth quarter, Seirin was down twelve points. Kuroko took a breath as he stepped out under the lights of the court and slid straight into the game as though he’d never left; in a way, after all, he hadn’t. He shadowed Izuki-senpai, following the quick signals of his glances to take the ball at unexpected angles and relay it to its true target. He stole passes to Touou’s Sakurai and fired them to Mitobe-senpai instead, in the moment no one was watching. He could hear the shouts from Seirin’s bench, hear the enthusiasm of both his partners. And he could feel his team shifting around him, pushing into a higher gear.

This was what he lived for, this feeling, this triumph of his game, of the strength he gave his teammates, over the opposing team. When the score turned over again, he thought the lightness of the moment might lift him off his feet.

When Imayoshi stepped up to mark him, he felt a chill cut through that glow.

“Will you listen to that?” Touou’s captain said, conversationally, waving a hand at the stands. “‘Can we stop Seirin’s energy’ indeed. You think they’d know better.” Imayoshi smiled, slow and predatory. “Did you know? There are some things you can only see in a mirror.”

Tetsuya frowned to himself and waited for the ball to go to Izuki-senpai, for Imayoshi’s attention to split so he could fade away and cut free. But Imayoshi stayed on him, close up, close enough to…

…close enough to watch his eyes.

Tetsuya pulled in a hard breath. Every time he glanced at Izuki-senpai, Imayoshi looked away from him. Looked at Izuki-senpai, too.

…only see in a mirror.

It happened again when Tetsuya tried to move to relay a pass between Hyuuga-san and Mitobe-senpai. Again, when he went to screen Hyuuga-san’s next outside shot. He couldn’t shake Imayoshi off, and the clock was ticking down. The score turned over in Touou’s favor. Again in Seirin’s favor. And Tetsuya didn’t have anything to do with any of it. He was blocked at every pass, and he could feel the team stumbling; it was worse than if he hadn’t been on the court at all, because they kept starting to rely on him and having to pull up short.

“It’s a double-edged sword, isn’t it?” Imayoshi murmured, still smiling. “The way you strengthen them. The way they rely on you. Very double-edged indeed.”

Tetsuya’s mouth tightened hard, and he met Imayoshi’s eyes, direct and intent. This time, he didn’t look away, stayed focused on his opponent and just moved. He had to hope Izuki-senpai would see and understand. And, sure enough, there was a flicker of movement at the corner of his eye, and Tetsuya spun away at the last moment to reach for the ball coming toward them.

Imayoshi’s hand slid in front of his, and he cut between them, fading back and back and finally going up for a three-pointer neither Izuki-senpai nor Tetsuya were in place to block. The ball arched through the air, slow and high, over the heads of the frozen players, and swished through the basket, giving Touou a two-point lead.

The final buzzer sounded.

Imayoshi looked back at Tetsuya again. “It was obvious they’d rely on you at the last,” he said, almost gently. “Seirin is a young team, and your strength conceals your weaknesses. Too bad, hm?” He turned away toward his team.

Cold slid through Tetsuya like a knife. Was he actually bad for his team, when Aomine or Kagami couldn’t be on the court? Had he led them to overestimate him, just because he wanted so badly to be acknowledged as a useful player? He went through line-up and the retreat to the changing room in a chill fog of wondering what he could possibly do now.

Everyone was silent in the wake of their loss, and the silence plucked at Tetsuya’s nerves. He was almost grateful for the metallic bang when Aomine punched one of the lockers.

“What the fuck good is it being a genius and all that shit, when I can’t use it?!”

Momoi roused at that, though her voice was quiet. “Dai-chan, you know why. None of you are developed enough to use your full strength for too long.”

Aomine growled.

“Don’t be silly, Satsuki-chan.” Aida-kantoku stood briskly from testing Hyuuga-san’s calves and ankles, and put her hands on her hips. “Now that I have a better gauge for just how much strain it does put on you, you bet your ass you’re going to be training to use your full strength for a full match, Aomine-kun.”

Aomine blinked at her like she’d suddenly turned on all the lights in a dim room. “…I am?”

“Of course you are!”

“But Riko-kantoku,” Momoi started, half hopeful and half alarmed.

Kantoku waved an impatient hand. “In middle-school, of course their bodies couldn’t sustain that kind of play for long! And it would have been crazy to try to train them up to it while they were still growing. But now…” she eyed Aomine thoughtfully, “now, I think you have all but an inch or two of your height, and that’s the important part. Now that your muscles and tendons aren’t constantly under the strain of growing longer, we can take all that effort and energy and pain and put it toward your training.” She gave Aomine a sunny, ruthless smile, and he grinned back the way Tetsuya hadn’t seen in a while, bright and excited.

Tetsuya started a little when that smile was turned on him.

“Hear that, Tetsu?” Aomine reached out and mussed his hair, through Tetsuya’s towel. “I won’t leave you alone out there again. You’ll have all the light you need.”

Tetsuya stilled, caught between relief and a twist of fear. This was what he’d wanted, what he’d worked for, but was it really enough? For the first time, he doubted it. Aomine promised him light. As much light as he needed, to play the way he always had. Enough light to bring out his strength.

Enough light to conceal his weakness?

Kagami’s snort broke the circle of his thoughts. “What makes you think someone like Kuroko, the one who hauled your ass to Seirin and dragged your head out of it too, will be satisfied with stopping there?” He tied his shoe with a rather ferocious jerk, set both feet firmly on the floor, and braced his hands on his knees, elbows stuck out aggressively. “We need to be stronger, yeah. So Kuroko can rely on us, the same way we rely on him.”

“I told you you rely on him too heavily,” Aomine jibed at Kagami. “I, on the other hand, have the perfect balance already.”

Momoi coughed meaningfully into her fist, and Aomine added, “Back again.”

“Oh, nice save.” Kagami applauded sarcastically, and Aomine jumped him, and their corner dissolved into wrestling again. The second-years groaned and rolled their eyes, and the whole room lightened a little.

Tetsuya just sat, not quite seeing what was in front of him, while Kagami’s words rolled through his head. Kagami, his other partner, thought he wouldn’t stop with the goal he’d just barely regained. Thought he’d keep going, keep building up his game. The idea unfolded slowly, like a flower opening up, until his chest felt full and tight with it. To be more, to want more… could he? Could he really? The memory of a hundred quiet moments of irritation or resignation, playing as Teikou’s shadow, came back to him.

Hadn’t he always wanted more?

Tetsuya took a long, shaky breath, feeling like he was looking up after staring at the ground for so long he’d forgotten there was anything else to see.

“Tetsu-kun?” Momoi’s hand was on his shoulder, and she was looking down at him with a shade of worry behind her smile. “Is everything all right?”

“Yes.” Tetsuya shook himself and looked up at her. “I think Kagami-kun is right,” he told her. “I… I need to be more, too. Will you help me?”

Her eyes turned wide and surprised. He supposed that wasn’t something she’d been in the habit of thinking, either. The surprise melted slowly into familiar determination, though. “Tetsu-kun. Of course I will.” She smiled, bright and fierce, the way she hadn’t since they’d come off the court today. “I’m Seirin’s analyst, aren’t I? I’ll find a way.”

Tetsuya nodded back firmly, feeling that determination settle into his thoughts and bones, heavy but comfortable. Yes. They’d find a way around his weaknesses, until his team could rely on him without danger.

He wouldn’t let his game end like this.

The new thoughts tugged at him, as Seirin gathered themselves up and started for home. He’d thought he came to Seirin, and brought Aomine with him, to prove the worth of the way he played the game. He had a team, here, that needed him and knew how he strengthened them. He had a team that wouldn’t let Aomine molder in apathy, that demanded he train properly and play properly. There was even Kagami, to spur Aomine out of his slump, to remind him that there were other strong players, to show him how a decent partner acted.

He’d thought that was all he wanted.

But when Kagami had spoken, so confident that Tetsuya wouldn’t be content with just that, wanting had flared up instantly. So instantly that Tetsuya knew it had to have been lying in his heart all this time, waiting for a spark. It had taken Kagami to make him see, to make him remember his old hopes from before Akashi had found him and told him his strength was a shadow’s strength, from before he’d gotten used to shadow victories.

Maybe it wasn’t just Aomine that Kagami could show how to play again. And when Tetsuya remembered how deliberately he’d set out to use Kagami to make Aomine jealous enough to wake up, he wondered, with a twinge of guilt, whether it wasn’t just Aomine that needed Kagami to show him how to play again.

When he and Kagami waved good night to Aomine and Momoi, and parted ways at the station, his thoughts finally spilled over into words.

“I’m sorry.”

Kagami glanced down at him, brows raised. “What for?”

“I used you for my own ends, to make Aomine-kun remember how to be a partner. And even so, you still have that much faith in me.”

“What, that?” Kagami snorted, stuffing his hands further into his pockets. “Don’t worry so much about it. Everyone plays for their own reasons; it’s not like you made me play the way I do. That’s just me.” He gave Tetsuya a sidelong look. “As for you, are you going to tell me you will let it end like this? Your game? Seirin’s game?”

Tetsuya’s response to the mere question straightened his spine in a rush of hot denial. “Of course not," he said firmly.

Kagami was grinning a little. “Thought not.”

“Being smug makes you look like Aomine-kun,” Tetsuya observed, and smiled just a tiny bit as Kagami’s vociferous objections echoed off the yard walls around them.

He walked on through the warm spring night, dwelling on the old, faint taste of playing for himself.

This Moment to Arise – Revelations

On the second day of the Tokyo preliminary finals, Daiki’s heartfelt comment was, “About damn time.” He shrugged off Satsuki’s admonishing look. “Oh, come on, I’ve been bored out of my mind. Shinsenkan was pathetic, and even those Touou guys weren’t exactly a challenge.” Which had been a great disappointment, after he’d hauled himself through the whole month of A-block matches on the hope that the ‘Kings of the West’ would be at least a bit of fun. Or at least that their first match in the final block would be. But no, not so you’d notice. If it hadn’t been ridiculous to imagine, he’d actually have thought Touou was holding back against him. So he had to hope that Seihou would be better; they had Tsugawa, at least, and he might be good for a bit of fun, if Daiki was remembering right.

“Be sure you don’t get careless,” Hyuuga-senpai ordered sternly, folding his shirt into the locker he’d claimed in the changing room. “All you first-years should be prepared. Seihou has the toughest defense in Tokyo; last year, they trashed us badly enough that we actually hated the game for a while. Badly enough we nearly quit.” He banged the locked shut with more force than was necessary.

Daiki’s lip curled a little. “Yeah, you and everyone else.” He said it quietly, though, because Tetsu was giving him a Look. More loudly he added, “Of course you lost, you didn’t have me or Tetsu. Or Satsuki. Or even Kagami, I suppose.” He ducked Kagami’s annoyed swipe, grinning.

“That doesn’t matter.”

Daiki paused in the middle of grappling with Kagami, startled by just how level Hyuuga-senpai’s voice was. And when their captain turned away from the lockers, Daiki straightened up in pure reflex. Hyuuga-senpai’s eyes were gleaming like light off steel.

“It wouldn’t matter who we had or didn’t have, this year. Because we didn’t quit. And we’re going to win.” He opened his hand to Satsuki, and she stepped forward with a demure, bloodthirsty smile.

“Yes, Captain. We’ll be using Aomine-kun and Tetsu-kun in this match, and saving Kagami-kun for the match against Shuutoku. Tetsu-kun, please.”

The start of Daiki’s protest was promptly cut short by a sharp jab in the ribs. As he turned, gasping, to glare at his partner, he saw Kagami bent over on Tetsu’s other side, rubbing his ribs and glaring to match. Tetsu met both glares with a perfectly bland look, just as if he hadn’t essentially sucker-punched both his partners. Satsuki was still smiling, sweet and alarming.

“Thank you. It’s necessary, Dai-chan, so shut up. Midorin knows you too well, and you don’t have the height Kagami-kun does. He’s the only one here who might block Midorin’s shots. You, on the other hand, are better at getting past defense.” She gave Kagami a pointed look while she said it, and he subsided sulkily.

The door of the changing room clicked open and everyone looked around to see their coach standing with her hands on her hips. “It’s time,” she said, eyes gleaming to match Hyuuga-senpai’s. “We have a year’s worth of interest to pay Seihou back on our loss last year. It’s a big debt. Are you ready?”

The snap of the second-years’ agreement made Daiki’s ears perk up. That… that was a good sound. He liked hearing it.

As they filed out into the hall, Kagami glanced down at Tetsu. “Something wrong?”

Daiki looked around sharply; sure enough, Tetsu was looking up at the darkening glass ceiling of the main concourse as he walked, eyes distant. “Have you ever hated basketball, Kagami-kun?” he asked quietly.

Kagami blinked. “Not really.”

“I have.”

Daiki jerked up short in the hall, and Tetsu stopped too. When he glanced at Daiki, those pale eyes were flat and shadowed. “It wasn’t for the same reasons as our senpai. But I know that feeling.”

“Tetsu, what,” Daiki started, chest suddenly tight. “You didn’t…”

“It’s a painful feeling, to hate what you love,” Tetsu said quietly, holding his eyes.

Daiki flinched back from talking about this here, in front of Kagami again. “I don’t…”

“I think this is an important game,” Tetsu continued as if he hadn’t spoken. “For our senpai to get beyond the past. And maybe for us, too.”

Daiki just stared back, wordless. It was Kagami who snorted, hands jammed in his jacket pockets. “I don’t know what all you’re talking about. But if it’s an important game, let’s go win it.”

A slow smile tugged at the corners of Tetsu’s mouth, and the flatness faded out of his eyes. “Sometimes maybe it’s good to be uncomplicated," he said blandly.

“Of course it is.” Kagami frowned. “Hey, wait a minute.”

Tetsu looked back up at Daiki. “Well?” he asked softly. “Shall we go win it?”

Daiki still wasn’t sure he understood everything Tetsu was asking, but there was only one answer to that question. “Yeah.”

And then they were out under the lights and there was no need to think about anything except the ball and the court, which was a relief after all the uncomfortable things he’d had to think about lately. He relaxed into the start of the game, the familiarity of other uniforms lined up across from them, the sound of the first whistle. The absolute presence of the boundary lines closed around him, and the basket was a weight in his awareness, pulling in the ball.

Or at least it would be, as soon as he could shake off Tsugawa, the persistent little bastard.

What Satsuki and Kantoku had said during the week they prepared for this match was true enough. Seihou were only human; they weren’t miracles. And it wasn’t like Daiki objected to having strong opponents, quite the opposite. But it still just annoyed him to see that creepy smile on Tsugawa’s face, and the guy was even interrupting some of the pass combinations between him and Tetsu. It would be satisfying to grind him into paste, no question, but it wasn’t being much fun. Tsugawa was strong, but the weight of him in the game was spiteful; it was like playing a shadow of Murasakibara or something, and Daiki hadn’t liked doing that either, good training or not. He reminded himself he didn’t have to enjoy someone’s game to beat them, and pushed his pace faster, cutting sharper, skimming past his marker no matter how smoothly Tsugawa moved.

Or, at least, that was the plan.

Daiki scowled as he was called for charging again, and Tsugawa grinned.

“Aomine-kun,” Tetsu said at his elbow, a whole paragraph of scolding about keeping his temper in just two little words.

“I know,” Daiki snapped, irritated that he couldn’t really open up his game without getting yet another damn foul. “We’re still winning.” Just not by as much as he’d gotten used to, and not in a way he especially liked. Well, it wasn’t like that second part was actually anything new. He rolled his shoulders and focused. Ignore how annoying Tsugawa was, and the fact that none of Seihou’s players really excited him, and it really didn’t feel like he should have to work this hard against them. Ignore that this wasn’t even as fun as teasing Kagami. All there was was the ball and the court and him, sliding around the stiffness of the other players to throw and let the ball drop into the basket like rolling down a hill.

And even Seihou had the same expression on their faces as everyone else did, who watched him or played him. Disbelief. Fear. He turned away, back to their own defense, feeling ruffled up and weighed down all at once. He’d had fun doing this, once, he knew he had, but it was getting hard to remember the feeling of it. Hard to remember what interesting opponents even looked like.

“Good.” Izuki-senpai clapped him on the shoulder in passing, and Daiki looked up, startled. There was no relief in his voice, no smugness, nothing to say that what Daiki had done was anything out of the ordinary, no comments on how Seirin would depend on him. Just a moment of approval in passing. Just what any of his old team might have said. If Murasakibara had stopped intimidating the other team long enough to notice, or Midorima had stopped snarking long enough to say something so straightforward, or Akashi had, for some reason, stopped taking it for granted.

Okay, maybe not what any of them would have said, but… the same feeling.

“Stop sulking and come with me,” Tetsu said quietly, at his elbow. “We’ll take the ball back.”

Daiki grinned wryly at Tetsu’s familiar snippiness and shook himself back into the game. “Yeah, okay.” Seihou was fast, but he was faster, and he liked their sheer indignation when he proved it. Their passing game was strong and smooth, and it probably worked against most people. But he was Tetsu’s partner. Seihou’s smoothness was nothing to that.

The smack of the ball square against his palm was a good feeling. Tsugawa’s grimace when Daiki gave the ball to Tetsu and spun cleanly past to take it again floated a little bubble of laughter through his chest. And the sweep of the ball through the air into the net was always its own moment of perfect balance, where nothing else mattered.

Which made his annoyance all the sharper, when Tsugawa tried to walk through Tetsu and then freaked out over not having seen him. His oh-so-bubbly chatter about how many points down Seirin had been by this time last year made Daiki growl. He knew it was on purpose. He knew the kind of player Tsugawa was; this was a classic psychological attack. But the sudden darkness in Tetsu’s eyes and the tightening of the second-years’ jaws all across the court kind of pissed him off.

And, okay, he would admit that the pure arrogance of saying all that to a team that contained Aomine Daiki really pissed him off.

He probably should have thought about that more. Should have kept a closer eye on Tsugawa on his next drive down the court, should have realized that those weirdly smooth movements would throw his sense of velocity off, when he jumped to shoot. But he didn’t, until he felt impact against his shoulder and heard the whistle and realized that Tsugawa had suckered him into yet another foul. His fourth.

He wasn’t surprised when the coach called him off, but that didn’t mean he was happy about it. He wanted to grind Tsugawa into the court himself. That would be really satisfying, right about now.

Hearing Tetsu called off, too, and seeing Koganei-senpai and Tsuchida-senpai waiting for them… now that surprised him. “Shouldn’t it be Kagami?” he asked, startled. “He’s the only other one who can really work with Tetsu.”

Hyuuga-senpai shook his head, eyes distant. “No. We’re already ahead by twelve points, that’s enough. We decided this before the game started. We’re only using any of the first-years in the first half.”

Beside Daiki, Tetsu suddenly relaxed, and Daiki shot him a questioning look. Seirin wanted to win. He knew they wanted to win, as badly as anyone he’d ever seen. So why were they benching their two best scorers and their strongest supporting player?

“Why?” he finally asked.

Hyuuga-senpai snorted. “Think about it, Aomine. We’ll need Kuroko against Shuutoku, no question; we need to conserve his strength. Same goes for Kagami. Seihou is already starting to be able to track Kuroko anyway. And you,” he gave Daiki a brief glare, “have four fouls already. With Kuroko off, there’s no one left you’ll actually listen to about keeping your temper. You think I’m going to risk you on the court like that?”

That stopped Daiki short. It was true, he didn’t really bother listening to anyone else, here, except maybe Satsuki. This was the first time he’d felt uncomfortable about it.

“I understand,” Tetsu said quietly, and bowed. “We’ll leave it in your hands.”

Hyuuga-senpai’s mouth quirked up and he rested a hand on Tetsu’s shoulder. “Yeah.”

“Tetsu, what…” Daiki started as his partner took his elbow and started to haul him off. Tetsu was smiling faintly.

“Our senpai have their own determination.” Tetsu tagged Koganei-senpai, and Daiki absently held out his hand to do the same with Tsuchida-senpai.

Daiki frowned, but didn’t ask again. When Tetsu was in a close-mouthed mood, you just had to watch and wait. So he watched as the game started up again. As Hyuuga-senpai and Mitobe-senpai scored with a very smooth combination. As Tsuchida-senpai slid in easily to screen. As the whole team drew in tight around Izuki-senpai’s plays.

Seirin was holding the lead.

“They’re better than I thought they’d be,” Kagami muttered on the other side of Tetsu, only to collect a swat from the coach.

“Their pride is on the line,” she snapped. “This is a revenge game, and it’s one we’ve spent a year training toward. So shut up and watch.”

Was that what Tetsu had meant? That their senpai wanted to win with their own strength? Daiki supposed he could respect that. If they could really do it. He frowned as Seihou’s captain stole the ball from Tsuchida-senpai and sent it back down the court for a shot Hyuuga-senpai barely managed to block. Minutes ticked by as he watched, frown deepening. Seirin was pushing harder, wearing down. Seihou had taken six of their twelve point lead away. If they lost this game because of the second-years’ pride, that would be incredibly stupid.

He meant to say so during the quarter break. If he went back in for the fourth quarter, there’d be no problem. He was used to Seihou’s movement now, having watched from inside and outside the game. Tsugawa wouldn’t catch him out again. But when he opened his mouth to say so to Hyuuga-senpai, the look in his captain’s eye stopped him cold. It wasn’t anger. It wasn’t desperation, despite the pressure they were obviously under. Tetsu had said the senpai were determined but that was too pale a word for what Daiki was seeing. The force of it held Daiki silent while the second-years went back out again.

And somehow, even through they were wringing wet with sweat and panting for breath, they seemed to be pushing even harder. First Hyuuga-senpai and then Mitobe-senpai and then even Izuki-senpai broke past Seihou’s blocks. At the end of the bench, Satsuki made a pleased sound.

“They’ve got it,” she said, eyes intent on the game. “They’ve grasped Seihou’s movements, Kantoku. I think we’re clear.”

Their coach blew out a long, relieved breath. “Good. I was worried for a while, there.”

Satsuki flashed a bright smile down the bench. “It’s always easier to see it than to do something about it in the middle of a game. But our DVD player didn’t die in vain.”

That was weird enough to pull Daiki’s attention off the game for a moment. “Didn’t what?” he asked Satsuki.

“It wasn’t enough for me to analyze Seihou’s habits and report them,” she told him, matter-of-fact. “Their techniques are woven into every part of their game; no pre-made strategy would keep up. Our players had to be able to see the way I do, at least for this opponent. So all the second-years have been studying all the match videos we could find. It was Hyuuga-senpai’s idea.”

Studying Seihou, long and hard enough to burn out one of the DVD players, Daiki filled in, a little shocked. No wonder Hyuuga-san’s focus had felt so heavy, had such a deadly edge.

And, slowly, Seirin was pulling ahead again. A lay-up that Izuki-senpai broke through for. A hook-shot from Mitobe-senpai, answered by one of those long, soft shots by Seihou’s point guard. Seirin was seven points ahead and still pushing like they were behind.

On the other hand, maybe that was wise. Daiki watched Seihou’s captain drive straight through a two-man defense to slam the ball in, and he could feel his shoulders pulling tenser. Only five points ahead and over three minutes to go. Seirin could still lose this. “Kantoku,” he said, low, “you should send me back in.”

“Have a little faith in your senpai, Aomine,” she told him, but her voice was husky and a quick look showed her knuckles white on the edge of the bench.

“If you’re worried about the fouls, send me in,” Kagami said just as Daiki was opening his mouth to argue.

“I’m not going to risk breaking their momentum now,” Riko-san snapped, not looking away from the court.

“Kagami-kun,” Tetsu said quietly, “Aomine-kun. Just watch.”

“Watch what?” Kagami growled, but a brief cheer from the onlookers snapped both their heads around toward the game before Tetsu could answer. Hyuuga-senpai was slapping palms with Izuki-senpai and the score was eight points ahead. Seihou’s point guard went for another shot, but Mitobe-senpai was there this time, pressing him back, off balance, and Izuki-senpai stole the ball and gave it to Hyuuga-san for another of those rock-steady three-pointers. Seihou passed the throw-in around, just as fast and smooth as ever, and Daiki stiffened as he saw the pattern; the ball was going to come back to Iwamura, and no one on the court right now could stop a full power drive from him. The clock was ticking down, though, they would still be safe…

Tsuchida-senpai lunged for the ball like it was the last chance Seirin had and slapped it into Izuki-senpai’s hands. Izuki-senpai to Hyuuga-san, well outside the three-point line, while Mitobe-senpai slid into Tsugawa’s path. And, as the last seconds ran out, the ball sailed in a long, graceful arc and swished through the basket as cleanly as one of Midorima’s shots.

Seirin won by fourteen points. Two more than the lead Daiki had left them with.

“Kantoku said it, didn’t she?” Tetsu murmured at his shoulder. “Our senpai had their pride on the line.”

“I guess so,” Daiki muttered, still a little stunned that the second-years had gone that far to take their game back after a loss like the one Tsugawa had taunted them over. They could have kept him in and won easily, maybe even crushed Seihou as badly as Seihou had done to them if Daiki had kept his pace up once he’d found it. But they hadn’t; they’d been that determined to prove their game to Seihou and to themselves. He’d never seen anyone else do something like that. Not his own team, who’d never had to go that far, and never had a loss to come back from anyway. Certainly no one he’d ever played against, no matter how much he’d wanted it and even, for the last few desperate months before he gave up on the hope, prayed for it.

Which was probably why the first words out of his mouth when everyone came back to the bench were not congratulations but rather, “Where the hell were you for the last three years?!”

Hyuuga-san slowly adjusted his glasses, eyes glinting, and Daiki resigned himself to a brisk cuff which, okay, he probably deserved for that. But Hyuuga-san’s mouth crooked up at one corner and the hand that landed on Daiki’s head was only a little rough, messing up his hair. “Learning how not to give up,” Hyuuga-san told him. “It’s something you could stand to do, too, obnoxious brat.”

Daiki started to protest that, but his captain’s eyes were still bright and hard with the thing that had driven the team so intensely to win in every way possible, and in face of it Daiki fell silent again.

“That’s better,” Hyuuga-san said quietly. “You need to learn how to gauge other players more accurately, Aomine. You make too many assumptions.”

Daiki was unsettled enough to stop and think about what Hyuuga-san meant. About what might happen if he had been on the other side, playing against that diamond focus and drive he saw in Seirin today—if he’d been as slow to understand Seirin as he had been to come to grips with Tsugawa’s tactics, today. It was a thought that unsettled him, made him think of a time when he’d paid a whole lot more attention to his opponents that he had been lately. The discomfort of that thought made him look away from his captain’s level gaze.

Hyuuga-san squeezed his shoulder once and let him go, turning back to gather up the rest of the team and harry them off to the changing room. When Daiki turned to follow, he found Tetsu at his side again.

There was satisfaction in his partner’s eyes.


Another day, another game, and Daiki was on the bench again. He slouched down with a sigh.

“Quit sulking,” Riko-san told him, exasperated. “You knew you’d be out for this game. You’re not ready to play hard for two consecutive days, yet.”

“I’ll sulk if I want to,” he grumbled. “You gave Midorima to Kagami. That’s so unfair.” He’d really been looking forward to playing the others from Teikou. Midorima had had some fairly cutting things to say about the starting line-up, too, and Daiki frankly thought he was right. Riko-kantoku and Hyuuga-san were gambling by using Kagami alone with Tetsu.

Sure enough, Tetsu got the ball through to Kagami for the first shot only to have Midorima block it. Well, at least Hyuuga-san blocked the return shot. It wasn’t a start to make Daiki feel confident, though. The slow minutes that went by while both teams fought for the ball and neither scored didn’t make him any more relaxed, either.

He was more than half expecting it, when Shuutoku’s point guard feinted hard for the basket only to pass the ball back to Midorima, well behind the three-point line. The basket that followed was a foregone conclusion, though Riko-kantoku’s choked sound of disbelief made it clear that no one else had really understood what Midorima could do. Daiki kept his eyes on Tetsu, though, because he knew what his partner could do, also.

And he knew Tetsu’s temper.

Sure enough, Tetsu was sending Kagami back toward Shuutoku’s basket, and Daiki smiled slow and toothy as Tetsu caught Midorima’s ball under Seirin’s basket, stepped over the line and spun hard on one heel to fire the ball back down the full length of the court. He didn’t even mind too much that it was Kagami who was there to catch it, since the resulting basket showcased Tetsu so beautifully. Daiki leaned back on his hands, smirking as players and audience made shocked sounds all around him. “Shuutoku’s going to be in trouble if Midorima doesn’t pull his head out of his ass and remember who he’s playing,” he told Satsuki.

“Stop gloating, Dai-chan, it’s unbecoming,” she told him, just as if she wasn’t doting over Tetsu with hearts in her eyes. The next minute, though, her smile turned sharp again. “They’ll set Takao Kazunari on Tetsu-kun, now.”

Riko-san frowned at the court, fingers tapping against her folded arms. “How soon, do you think?”

“One more play,” Satsuki said, serene in the surety of her predictions.

Sure enough, after one more basket for Seirin, the point guard moved to mark Tetsu. Daiki narrowed his eyes at the way the guy was grinning, all bright-eyed. He liked it when other players appreciated Tetsu, but not when they got pushy about it. Though he supposed this would make the counter Tetsu had suggested more effective, if Takao was that focused on him.

The rest of the first-years winced as Shuutoku scored again. “Are the senpai really going to be able to keep up with Shuutoku long enough?” Furihata asked Riko-kantoku.

She smiled, and it reminded Daiki so much of Satsuki when she’d lost her temper and was about to make someone regret the day he’d been born, that he edged away down the bench. Just to be on the safe side.

“Don’t worry.” Riko-san flicked a little bit of painted wood absently through her fingers. “I trained Hyuuga-kun very thoroughly in how to shoot under pressure.”

“Who cares about this this ‘King’ bullshit?” Hyuuga-kun yelled, out on the court. “Die!”

“Though it maybe did some bad things to his personality,” she finished quite calmly as the ball swished through the net.

Satsuki clasped her clipboard to her chest and sparkled. “Riko-kantoku is such a good trainer.” The women smiled at each other in a happily bloodthirsty way.

“Why did I let Tetsu drag me here?” Daiki muttered. As if Satsuki wasn’t scary enough on her own.

“It’s about time for Midorin to try a longer shot,” Satsuki murmured, ignoring him, eyes on the players again. “Tetsu-kun hasn’t left him any choice, if he wants to avoid those long passes. I hope everyone remembers what I said about that.”

“It’s hard to really believe, but they’ll remember.” Riko-san rocked a step forward as Midorima got the ball again. “Here it comes.”

Midorima shot from the center line, and Daiki nodded as the ball arced up. “It’s in.” And he’d give his senpai this much credit; despite the disbelief on every face but Tetsu’s when Midorima went up to shoot, that was their only flinch. Izuki-senpai got the ball to Kagami fast, after the throw-in, and Daiki rolled his eyes as the jumping idiot shot from the outside and ran to dunk it himself when it missed. “His accuracy sucks,” he muttered.

“So does yours, from the outside,” Satsuki scolded, hitting him lightly over the head with her clipboard. “You shouldn’t… there!” She went up on her toes, focused on Midorima like a predator. “It’s coming! Kagamin challenged him, it’s the end of the quarter, he’ll use a full-court shot now!”

“Unbelievable,” Riko-san whispered as they watched Midorima take a shooting stance under Shuutoku’s basket. “You think he can really…?”

“He’ll be able to do it, by now,” Satsuki said, positive. The ball arced achingly high over the court and down, down, to drive cleanly through Seirin’s net. And the buzzer sounded while everyone stood frozen.

Daiki frowned as he followed the rest of the team back to the changing room and watched them, during the half time break. Everyone but Kuroko and Kagami were shaken. He didn’t think that would stop the second-years for long, not after what he’d seen them do against Seihou. But none of them were fast enough to stop Midorima before he could shoot. “You should put me in,” he said flatly.

“You’d have to use too much of your speed to stop him on the ground, Dai-chan,” Satsuki said, laying a hesitant hand on his shoulder. “Kantoku says you’re not back in good enough condition. It has to be Kagamin, this game.”

Daiki fired up at that; Kagami, to take his place against one of his own ex-team? “Kagami isn’t good enough to sto—” he broke off with an oof as Kagami stopped scrubbing a towel over his face and rammed an elbow into Daiki’s side.

“Don’t make decisions for other people! God you’re an asshole when you don’t get to play.” Kagami look a contemplative swallow from his water bottle. “And when you do, now I think about it. Quit worrying so much, I can do it.”

“I wasn’t worrying you…” Daiki glowered, aware that the rest of the team was stifling laughter. Even Tetsu, who was perfectly straight-faced.

Hyuuga-san clapped Daiki and Kagami both on the shoulders and said, with a toothy smile, “Good, keep on not worrying. And stop arguing like toddlers, you brats, before I knock your damn heads together.”

Both Kagami and Daiki hunched down a little and muttered agreement.

But maybe Daiki’s remark really had gotten to Kagami, because when he went back out onto the court he focused on Midorima like Satsuki focused on her player-data. He jumped to block Midorima’s shots again and again, and he was starting to actually do it, starting to pull Midorima back down the court so he didn’t have to take so long to set up for the shot. Satsuki hissed with satisfaction the first time Kagami actually blocked a shot, and Daiki had to admit that Kagami was tipping the balance of the game. Every shot he blocked, the second-years were there to catch and make a come-back play with. And those jumps were getting higher. Watching Kagami advance like that in the course of a single game tugged at something in Daiki; he remembered how it felt, to do that. Riko-kantoku was starting to make disapproving sounds as she watched him, though, running and jumping and not stopping. She swore out loud when Kagami went to take the ball down the court again and stumbled on one of those jumps, losing the ball to Shuutoku.

Daiki, personally, kind of liked how Kagami wasn’t stopping for anything. So he rolled his eyes over the scolding Hyuuga-san gave Kagami during the third quarter break for not paying attention to the rest of the team. Right now, he didn’t even care if he was showing sympathy for a rival; he liked how Kagami was playing.

“This is the only way to do it,” Kagami argued back, “I’m the only one who can—” Abruptly he stopped talking, so frozen Daiki wasn’t sure he was still breathing, and the whole team blinked at him. Slowly, stiffly, Kagami turned his head to stare at Daiki and then at Tetsu, who was standing beside the bench with that shadowed look in his eyes again. As they looked at each other silently, though, Tetsu’s shoulders eased and fell out of their tight line, and the crease between his brows smoothed out again. Daiki straightened out of his slouch on the bench; he hadn’t realized how tense his partner’s silence was until just now.

“Was that… how it happened?” Kagami asked, a little hoarse.

Tetsu nodded. “It’s all right, Kagami-kun. I won’t let you play like that,” he answered quietly, a quiet that Daiki recognized. That was Tetsu making a promise, and his gut clenched hearing Tetsu speak to Kagami that way.

“Yeah. Yeah, okay.” Kagami took a slow breath and shook his head, hard. “Thanks.” He gave Daiki a frankly disturbed look, and Daiki realized abruptly that Kagami and Tetsu had been talking about him, somehow. Before he could ask or protest, though, Riko-kantoku was standing in front of them and calling for attention.

“Okay, Kuroko’s had a break, so it’s about time to spring the trap on Takao. Also, we’ll use the accelerated pass this quarter We’re eleven points behind, people, it’s time to push.” She gave Kagami a narrow, measuring look. “You… you can block Midorima twice more, I think. After that stumble, though, they won’t think you can do it again at all. We’re going to bluff. Block his first shot in the fourth quarter, and then save your last jump in case you need to block a critical ball and turn the momentum. And then you’re done, and you leave it to the rest of the team, got that?” Her glare intensified when Kagami flexed his legs thoughtfully, and he ducked his head.

“Yes, Kantoku.”

“All right. Get out there, then.”

Daiki grabbed Tetsu’s shoulder as he stripped off his t-shirt and turned toward the court. “Tetsu, what the hell did you mean? You won’t like Kagami play like what?”

Tetsu gave him a level look. “Aomine-kun. If you win with a team that still can’t trust each other, if you win but no one’s happy about it… is that really victory?” He shrugged out from under Daiki’s hand, tugging his wrist-warmers up. “I don’t think so.”

Daiki watched him walk out onto the court, silent while the words echoed in his head. It was true enough that none of his wins had felt like a real victory for months. Maybe a year, by now. He wasn’t even sure it would have felt like a real victory if he’d been the one out there playing Midorima. It wasn’t a real victory if you didn’t have to fight for it, and he didn’t think Midorima could really make him fight.

Except… that wasn’t what Tetsu had said, was it? He hadn’t said “fight”. He’d said “trust”. And “happy about it”. Daiki froze, staring blindly out at the court. Were those thing things Tetsu hadn’t felt for a year? Tetsu’s words, back before the start of preliminaries, when they’d fought that one night over dinner, echoed in his head.

Trust… if that was Tetsu’s real victory…

“Fuck,” Daiki whispered to himself, scrubbing a hand over his face. “No wonder he’s pissed off.”

He started when Satsuki hit him very lightly over the head with her clipboard, looking up to find her smiling down at him. “Now you’re getting it.”

Daiki hunched his shoulders a little. “Yeah, yeah.” Satsuki had always been the one who saw what was in his own blind spots; she didn’t need to rub it in.

And then the crowd roared, and he looked back at the game and smiled to see the ball canon into Kagami’s hand from Tetsu’s. In fact, he smirked, because as much as he had blind spots, so did Satsuki, and telling Kagami to save a play was like telling a glutton to save some of dinner. He watched Kagami jump to dunk the ball right past Midorima’s block, and laughed.

Satsuki hit him harder this time.

“Oh, come on.” Daiki rubbed his head, grinning up at her. “Tetsu will take care of things. And you can’t say that wasn’t a fantastic expression on Midorima’s face.” Riko-kantoku growled from his other side, and he subsided, still grinning.

The last two minutes turned the grin to a frown, though. Most of Shuutoku fell back to defend, and Seirin was still one basket short. Even Hyuuga-san’s shots were only keeping even with Midorima’s. Tension crawled up Daiki’s spine as the score hovered, deadlocked, and the seconds ticked down. He wasn’t the only one who let out a relieved breath when Hyuuga-san finally broke free and sank one more three-pointer to turn over the score in Seirin’s favor.

Only he and Satsuki cursed, though, when the ball fell, because what the hell was the rest of the team thinking, why wasn’t anyone guarding Midorima?! The ball was in Midorima’s hands, Kagami and Tetsu were both closing on him, but if Kagami was past his limit already…

Kagami!” Riko-kantoku yelled, loud enough to make Daiki’s ears ring, up on her feet with her hands clenched. “Don’t…!

Kagami was already jumping, though, as high as any of his blocks during the game, and Daiki held his breath.

“It’s a fake!” Satsuki shouted, on his other side, furious, and sure enough Midorima brought the ball back down and set his feet for another jump with a serene calm that ignored that last seconds slipping away. Kagami wouldn’t even land soon enough to jump for this shot, never mind whether he actually could or not.

Daiki was still holding his breath, though. There was one person who could stop Midorima, still.

And there, Tetsu was there, striking the ball out of Midorima’s hands, and the buzzer sounded just as Kagami’s feet hit the court again, one second after the ball. Daiki breathed out.

And when the rest of the team came off the court to be piled on by everyone else and, in Kagami’s case, shoved down onto the bench for a fast examination by a furious coach, Daiki just looked down at Tetsu. “I knew you’d be there,” he said quietly.

Tetsu cocked his head, still panting for breath. “Did you know Kagami-kun would? Midorima-kun knew.”

“Midorima believes in a lot of things I don’t.” Daiki’s mouth twisted and he sighed. “I’ve only played with him for a few months, Tetsu, give me a little time.” He folded his arms, looking down at them, and offered, “Knew Hyuuga-san would make the last shot we needed, though.”

Tetsu laid a hand on his arm, and when Daiki looked up he was smiling. “We’ll just keep playing until you know for everyone, then.”

“Okay,” Daiki agreed, low. For Tetsu, he would try. And maybe for that tug of familiarity Kagami’s game had given him today.

“I can’t believe you!” Riko-kantoku was sputtering over Kagami. “Just look at this! Definitely muscle strain, maybe even torn muscles! I’m taking you to the hospital immediately, and who knows whether you’ll be able to play against Kaijou next week?! Basketball idiots!”

Satsuki came to drape her arms over Tetsu’s shoulders from behind and murmur, “And now he says…”

“I’ll be fine, I can still play!”

She mouthed the words along with Kagami, and Daiki had to laugh.

Maybe he was a little glad Tetsu had dragged him to this school, after all. Just a little.

This Moment to Arise – Preparations

Momoi Satsuki liked Seirin. They were a challenge, and she liked a challenge to her skills just as much as any of the boys did. Seirin had a coach she could talk with about skin care and cute mascot animals, and Riko-san blushed kind of adorably whenever Satsuki teased her over the captain. (Who totally was her boyfriend, even if neither of them admitted it.) And their captain paid close attention to her, listened to her analysis of what teams were strongest, asked her to scout upcoming competition.

The results of her first scouting expedition after she’d gotten ahold of the Tokyo preliminary bracket, had made him look pained. Her tentative solution had made him look downright dyspeptic. He’d agreed to her plan, though, and she liked the feeling of that trust.

“Gather up!” Hyuuga-san called across the gym, as the club filtered in from the locker room. “Briefing time for the Interhigh preliminaries!”

All the boys perked up and promptly gathered around, watching her attentively, and Satsuki sparkled at them just a little, enjoying the thread of excitement and tension in the air. It was the start of tournament season, and Seirin was about to put her analysis and their skills to the test. “The preliminary bracket is oddly shaped for us, this year,” she started, tapping a finger on the edge of her clipboard. “For the most part, we shouldn’t have trouble until we get to the final match of our block, where we’ll most likely face Shinsenkan. Our very first match, though, has something unexpected.” She turned the board around to show them her stats sheet on Shinkyou’s new player. “Shinkyou has a foreign student playing this season. Papa Mbaye Siki of Senegal.”

There was a moment of silence.

“…Momoi-chan, are those figures real?” Koganei-senpai finally asked weakly.

“Two hundred centimeters,” she confirmed. “His arms add almost another meter.”

“He won’t even have to jump for the basket,” Izuki-senpai said, appalled.

“Which is why Mitobe-san will be the key of the defense,” Satsuki agreed, and smiled a little as all the second-years relaxed. She liked this about Seirin, too, that they knew each other’s strengths and trusted each other so well. “If he manages to break away from Mitobe-san, the second line of defense will be Kagami-kun, to block the shot, or Aomine-kun to steal the ball. Be ready, you two.”

Those two exchanged curled lips over Tetsu-kun’s head and Satsuki exchanged a resigned look with Riko-kantoku. They’d talked about the edginess between Kagamin and Dai-chan, and about how to bring the boys around. Riko-kantoku had made even worse faces than Hyuuga-san over Satsuki’s plan, but in the end she’d agreed also. It was Satsuki, after all, who knew Dai-chan and Tetsu-kun the best, and could project their responses most accurately.

The trust warmed her, but the responsibility made adrenaline tingle through her veins.

“Offense will actually have much the same problem,” she went on. “Siki-san is tall enough to block many of Aomine-kun’s shots, and even Hyuuga-san’s, and catch Kagami-kun’s dunks if he just stays under the basket. We have to count on Shikyou’s coach and captain spotting that. So!” She clasped her board to her chest and smiled sweetly at Kagamin and Dai-chan. “The two of you will need to work as a pair. Whoever doesn’t have the ball will need to screen whoever does and keep Siki-san away from the basket. Let Tetsu-kun decide who takes the ball,” she added warningly as Kagamin and Dai-chan eyed each other with an instant flare of competitiveness. She swore it was spinal reflex for both of them. “He has a better sense of the flow of the game than either of you will probably ever have.”

Tetsu-kun nodded calm agreement, completely ignoring the way both his current partners shifted their glowers to him. Satsuki stifled a sigh. She couldn’t exactly blame Tetsu-kun for using Kagamin to make Dai-chan jealous. It seemed to be the only way to get Dai-chan’s attention at all, lately. But the unspoken competition over Tetsu-kun was starting to get serious. It had been heating up ever since the Kaijou game, when Tetsu-kun had come off the court with that little smile on his face, head cocked up to listen to Kagamin with the tolerant affection Tetsu-kun always showed his partners—and no one but his partners. He didn’t look like that at anyone who didn’t understand and value his style, who couldn’t play with him. By that measure, Kagamin was overtaking Dai-chan fast, and Satsuki thought Dai-chan knew it even if Kagamin maybe didn’t quite yet. He’d certainly noticed the fresh edge on Dai-chan’s jibes at him, though. The tension was starting to interfere with their play.

Which was why the next thing she said was, “In order to help the two of you work as a team, you’re going to be spending time together outside training. You’ll go for late dinner together every night after practice, from now on, along with Tetsu-kun and me.”

“What?!”

Satsuki wondered ruefully if she should consider it progress that they yelped that in perfect unison.

“I am damn well not—” Dai-chan started, heatedly, and Satsuki gave him her sweetest smile and cut him off.

Dai-chan,” she lilted, and he shut up at once, eyeing her warily. He knew what that tone meant, and had ever since they were seven and she’d hit him over the head with a toy train when he wouldn’t stop stealing her barrettes.

“We don’t really need…” Kagamin tried in turn, looking appealingly at Riko-kantoku. She gave him a gleaming smile back.

“Quadruple drills?” she suggested, and Kagamin gulped and shut up too.

Satsuki wasn’t particularly surprised, though, that that evening’s Battle of the Bento was especially fierce. Dai-chan came away with skinned knuckles but also with three of Kagamin’s meatballs while Kagamin clutched the remainder to his chest and held his chopsticks like he’d stab the next hand that came close. She’d have to remember to make Dai-chan buy Kagamin an extra hamburger tonight.

Tetsu-kun nibbled on the last of his vegetables and watched Dai-chan smirk over his spoils with a distance in his eyes that Satsuki didn’t like. They weren’t doing this a moment too soon. In fact, she was starting to hope they weren’t too late. If Tetsu-kun ever really did turn away from Dai-chan to partner with Kagamin alone, she didn’t want to think what that would do to Dai-chan.

Or to Tetsu-kun.


Dai-chan leaned his chin in his hands, watching with some fascination as Kagamin decimated a tray full of hamburgers. “How have you not exploded yet, seriously?” He reached over to poke at Kagamin’s stomach, and Satsuki slapped his hand.

“Be nice,” she ordered sternly. “This is a team bonding exercise. Besides, it’s your fault if Kagamin is extra hungry tonight.”

“I’ve always stolen my teammates food,” Dai-chan defended himself. “So if the point is team bonding then you shouldn’t stop me.”

“The point is for you and Kagami-kun to work together and support each other,” Tetsu-kun put in while Satsuki was making frustrated sounds over Dai-chan’s personal version of logic. “Maybe you should just ask if Kagami-kun will make extra for you.”

Kagamin paused in the process of inhaling another burger and glared at both Tetsu-kun and Dai-chan. “Like hell I will.”

Dai-chan leaned back in his chair, hooking an arm over the back, mouth twisted in a sardonic smile. “Yeah, seriously Tetsu, that was kind of obvious.”

Tetsu-kun took another sip of the shake he’d been working on, eyes level on Dai-chan, and Satsuki winced. She’d seen that look too often in the past week, and it wasn’t one Tetsu-kun gave people he was happy with.

“Then it looks like the way you usually act with teammates doesn’t work very well.”

Dai-chan’s face darkened. “Tetsu…”

“Stop,” Satsuki said flatly, and sighed when all three of them looked at her. This was exactly why she’d made sure Tetsu-kun came along; they needed to get all the problems out in the open before they blew up, and these problems were rooted too far in the past for their new captain or coach to deal with easily. So it was down to her. “Tetsu-kun. I know you’re angry over what happened last year. You have a right to be. But it’s affecting your teamwork with Dai-chan badly enough that I’m not sure we can actually put the two of you in as partners in a demanding game. Is that what you want?” She clasped her hands tight, under the table, hoping the answer was still ‘no’.

“Oh for god’s sake, Tetsu,” Dai-chan exploded before Tetsu-kun could answer. “I told you, didn’t I? Yes, you’re right! You’re the one in the right! But I can’t do it, I can’t play all out, not when it just makes people give up!” He jerked his head away to scowl out the window.

“Then don’t,” Tetsu-kun told him, soft and harsh. “If you want to break your own game, fine. Do it. But don’t break mine!”

Satsuki was biting her lip hard, fingers wound white-knuckled around each other; she’d seen the problem and she’d brought them here, and now the very most she could do to help was to nudge them. The rest, they had to do for themselves. It was the one thing she hated about her own speciality. “Is that why you’ve been working more with Kagamin, Tetsu-kun?”

“Of course.” Tetsu-kun set his cup down and sat back with sharp, precise movements. “Kagami-kun trusts me. Aomine-kun doesn’t.”

Dai-chan jerked back at that, eyes wide, and whatever he’d been about to say cut off. Kagamin made a startled sound, one hand full of hamburger still halfway to his mouth where he’d stopped short to stare at the sudden argument.

“What… what do you mean I don’t trust you?” Dai-chan asked, half laughing and unsettled. “You’re my shadow, of course I trust you. Our combination is still tighter than what you have with Kagami.”

“That’s practice, not trust,” Tetsu-kun said sharply. “You play on your own and just assume I’ll follow, if you think about it at all. You don’t care any more what choices I might make for the game. If we were in a tight situation again, you’d do what you did last year and keep the ball yourself instead of trusting me with it.”

“So you’d rather play with him?” Dai-chan demanded, pointing at Kagamin, who was watching them intently, now, like they were a question he couldn’t quite remember the answer to. “If I’m not trusting you enough, then he’s leaning on you too much! He won’t be able to advance, that way, and then where are you? You’re a shadow, Tetsu; to be strong you need a strong light. He won’t make you strong enough!”

Finally, Kagamin spoke up. “Don’t go making decisions for other people. How strong I can get is up to me. And how strong Kuroko can get is up to him.” He finished off his burger and folded his arms, eyeing them.

Tetsu-kun’s shoulders fell a little out of their fiercely straight line. “That’s why,” he said quietly, looking up at Dai-chan. “Didn’t you think that, too, when you told me I should stay in the club, in middle school?” He looked down at the table, jaw tight. “I want my partner back, Aomine-kun. But I’m your partner, not your equipment.”

Dai-chan opened his mouth and closed it again, eyes dark. Finally, he pushed up from the table and stalked out the doors, head down.

“You okay with just letting him go?” Kagamin asked, dubious.

Satsuki had to take a deep breath to keep her voice from shaking, but she was smiling. “Yes. I think so. When Dai-chan stalks off in a huff like that, it usually means you got him to think and now he wants to do it in private.”

“Hm.” Kagamin made another burger disappear. “Seems like it’s their teamwork you want to work on, not his and mine.”

Satsuki pulled herself together and shook a finger at him. “We’ll get to yours, don’t worry. The two of you really do need to figure out how to work together, or what use is it to the team to have both of you around?” She shot a look at Tetsu-kun, who was staring at his half-melted shake and not drinking. “But it’s true that a lot of the problems between you come out of the problems between Tetsu-kun and Dai-chan.”

Tetsu-kun looked up at her, brows pinched in a little, and she reached over to rest her hand on his. “I think he heard you, this time, Tetsu-kun. It’ll be all right.”

Kagamin snorted, standing up with his empty tray. "So that’s why you’ve been pushing us against each other." He looked down at Tetsu-kun, steadily. "You could have just said so, instead of hoping I’d rub off on him or something." He went back to the counter for another five burgers while Tetsu-kun winced faintly.

When he came back, he dumped a fresh shake in front of Tetsu-kun and wouldn’t look at either of them while he finished off the rest of his snack. Tetsu-kun watched him for a long moment, eyes just that bit wider than usual that meant he was startled, and finally took the shake. "Thank you," he said, low, sipping quietly.

"Mm," Kagami acknowledged around a full mouth, still not looking at them.

Satsuki was starting to think that they’d all gotten luckier than they deserved, finding Kagamin at Seirin.


Dai-chan stalked through practice the next day, silent and preoccupied, constantly watching Tetsu-kun out of the corner of his eye.

“Do I need to keep those two separated?” Riko-kantoku asked quietly.

Satsuki shook her head. “No, I think we actually got somewhere. Let Aomine-kun play with Tetsu-kun in today’s mini-game, and we’ll know for sure.”

Riko-kantoku patted her shoulder. “Good work. I’ll see to it.”

Sure enough, Riko-kantoku had a quiet word with Hyuuga-san, and when they divided up players for a mini-game Dai-chan and Tetsu-kun were on the same team. Satsuki watched Tetsu-kun stop in front of Dai-chan, looking up at him without speaking. After a long moment, Dai-chan closed his eyes and nodded. They turned away to their positions, still without speaking, and Satsuki noted ruefully how wary Tsuchida and Furihata seemed of their current teammates. She couldn’t entirely blame them; there’d practically been a storm cloud hanging over Dai-chan’s head all day. She was having to restrain herself strenuously from biting her nails, or possibly her clipboard, waiting for this game to start.

When they did, her breath caught.

Dai-chan moved like she hadn’t seen him move in over a year. Like he and Tetsu-kun were thinking the same thoughts, breathing the same breath. Tetsu-kun didn’t need to signal, barely needed to glance at Dai-chan, for Dai-chan to be in motion. Again and again, he hit the perfect mark to receive Tetsu-kun’s passes, so cleanly no one could break the route. Again and again, Tetsu-kun sent the perfect pass to match Dai-chan’s movement. At the end of twenty minutes, the score was fifty to thirty, in favor of Dai-chan and Tetsu-kun’s side.

When they all finished tossing their numbers back in the basket, Tetsu-kun stopped and stood looking at Dai-chan with a smile on his face, faint and true, and Dai-chan smiled back, a little tilted. He held out his fist casually, and after a very still moment Tetsu reached out and touched it with his own, light as though he thought it was an illusion that might burst on contact. Satsuki thought about how long it had been since the last time she had seen them do that, and had to swallow hard to get the lump out of her throat, and nearly lost it anyway when Riko-san wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “Shh, it’s okay,” Riko-san told her softly. “They’re okay, now, aren’t they?” Satsuki nodded wordlessly, blinking back tears.

“Aomine, you asshole,” Kagamin panted, swiping back sweat-soaked hair. “You’ve been holding out on me.” Dai-chan started to smirk, and then both he and Kagamin yelped as Hyuuga-san fetched them brisk, matching swats across the back of the head.

“Okay,” he snapped, giving Dai-chan a hard look, “what the hell kind of play was that? I have never seen anyone hog the ball that badly in my life!”

Tetsu-kun looked abashed and bobbed a bow. “I apologize, senpai. I should have paid more attention to that.”

Dai-chan looked back and forth between them, utterly blank. “Why should you? I mean, there’s no one else here strong enough to deal with him,” he jerked his thumb at Kagamin, “obviously you’d get the ball to me. What?” he added, as everyone stared at him.

Tetsu-kun sighed, shoulders slumping a bit, even though his smile still hovered around the corners of his mouth. Hyuuga-san just rubbed his forehead and muttered under his breath, “Why did I let that guy talk me into running this team, again?” He stabbed a finger at Dai-chan. “We are going to talk about why there are other players on a team. Later. Right now, we have shooting drills to get through; everyone get to it!”

Dai-chan gave their captain a baffled look and shrugged at Tetsu-kun before going to fetch them both balls from the bin.

Satsuki couldn’t help herself. She turned and buried her head against Riko-san’s shoulder, giggling helplessly and as silently as she could manage. Riko-san patted her back with a rueful sigh. “I guess we still have a ways to go, huh?”

Satsuki finally got a hold of herself and straightened up, brushing back her hair and smiling encouragingly for her coach. “Yes, but at least it’s a start. If we can get him to work with Kagamin, that will be another step.”

Listening to the conversation over late dinner that night, though, Satsuki thought that it might be kind of a big step from Kagamin to everyone else.

“I mean!” Dai-chan gestured vigorously with his cup of soda. “It’s just the plain truth, isn’t it? It’s not like I’m saying they’re totally weak, but none of them is up to our level. I think Hyuuga-senpai is the only one who even starts to come close.”

She smacked his shoulder with the back of her hand. “Quit being such a snob, Dai-chan. Hyuuga-senpai would probably have been first-string at Teikou.”

“Yeah, but there’s first-string, and then there’s us, is all I’m saying.” He shrugged and sucked on his straw.

“And every single one of you is annoying as all fuck.” Kagamin unwrapped another burger, giving Dai-chan a dark look. “Kise isn’t as bad, and Kuroko’s fine when he’s not scaring the life out of you for fun, but it’s been too damn long since you lost, is what.”

Satsuki winced as Dai-chan’s face turned still and distant. “No one can beat me,” he stated, flat and harsh. “No one but myself.”

“Aomine-kun,” Tetsu-kun said quietly, with a shadow of something entreating in the way he looked at his partner. Dai-chan sighed and shook the moment off.

“I know, Tetsu, but facts are facts. The best I can hope for is people like him,” he flicked his fingers at Kagamin, “who are at least a little entertaining and don’t give up too fast.” Kagamin growled around a mouthful of food, and Dai-chan smirked at him, humor restored. “So quit letting Tetsu pull your nuts out of the fire for you; it’ll make you soft.”

“Kagami-kun is my partner also.” Tetsu-kun’s tone made Dai-chan hold up his hands in surrender and Kagamin settle back in his chair, though his glare still promised the argument wasn’t over yet. Just postponed. Satsuki quite deliberately sparkled at them and leaned her chin delicately on her laced hands.

“You can be so commanding when you want to be, Tetsu-kun.”

That, at least, got Dai-chan and Kagamin snickering together, and the amused glance Tetsu-kun gave her over his shake suggested he knew why she’d said it. But Satsuki couldn’t help worrying that it wouldn’t be enough. They only had four days left before the first match of preliminaries, and Kagamin and Dai-chan were still treating each other far more like rivals than like teammates.

Although…

Satsuki gave Tetsu-kun a considering look; he had already set them on track to competing with each other. She didn’t think Kagamin understood all of why, yet, but she did. She knew already that Kagamin could grow strong enough to make it work, to make Dai-chan respect him and break through that bleak core in his game. He was closing in on Dai-chan already, and all her projections said he could do it. That was yet to happen, though. Maybe, for now, instead of trying to make them work together the best thing to do was to make use of their competition.


Four days later, Riko-kantoku winced a little as Kagamin nearly ran Siki down trying to slam in another dunk. Not because Seirin was behind in points, which they weren’t. No, it was because Kagamin was two baskets behind Dai-chan in their personal contest. “Are you sure this was a good idea, Satsuki-chan?”

“I’m afraid it’s the best we’re going to get for now,” Satsuki murmured, watching the second-years and weighing her captain’s fast eroding patience. Hyuuga-san was going to smack both of them any moment now, unless… yes, Izuki-senpai saw it too and sent the ball to the outside to let both the team’s aces settle down a bit. Satsuki sighed. “I’ll keep working on it.”

“We’ll all keep working on it,” Riko-san corrected firmly. “If both of them were raised by wolves before now, it’s up to us to civilize them.”

Satsuki smiled down at her coach, sweet and warm with the unaccustomed feeling of a senpai’s support. “Yes, Kantoku.”

She really did like being at Seirin very much.

A/N: So, here’s the thing. Fujimaki’s Interhigh tournament brackets are incredibly screwed up. The only preliminary we see, for Interhigh, is prefect-level. This is made very clear by the fact that Kaijou, the Kanagawa champions, do not appear in the preliminary finals. Kanagawa is a prefect of the Kantou region, just like Tokyo is, and if the preliminary had been regional (as Kiyoshi suggests it is much later in the series by calling it the Kantou tournament) then Kaijou would have been in the finals. So, apparently the regional preliminary doesn’t exist, fine, whatever. But on top of that, Fujimaki puts two of the three Kings into the same block of preliminaries. This is completely counter to usual practice in any kind of preliminary elimination; three schools as widely geographically divided as those are shown to be should not be in the same block. Over and above that, though, these three are said to always be the three who win the preliminary finals, which means they must never have shared a block before or one of them would have eliminated the other before the finals. In short, Fujimaki decided that Drama > Logic. Fine, whatever, but I’m a little allergic to that kind of thing, and hereby declare that the three Kings are each in a different block, and that Shinsenkan is the only one in Seirin’s block. The preliminary finals will, therefore, feature Seirin, Seihou, Shuutoku, and Touou.

This Moment to Arise – Clarifications

Taiga swatted his alarm clock into silence, rolled over, and smiled up at the ceiling. He woke up with a smile a lot, lately.

Okay, so his strongest teammate was a total jerk, and he honestly thought Kuroko liked scaring the liver out of people by popping up out of nowhere, and their coach was clearly some kind of demon. He could deal with all of that and more, because basketball was interesting again. A challenge again, and more than a challenge. A bone-cracking, tendon-snapping, nerve-burning hurdle to get over, like it hadn’t been for over a year since he came back to this country.

Aomine said he was the best, but Kuroko said the rest of them weren’t actually much weaker. And a few of them were in nearby schools. Taiga couldn’t wait for the tournaments to start.

And in the meantime, there was Aomine, who might be a deadbeat when he was sulking but was like fire on the court when he did show up. And he was training often enough that Kantoku was starting to let the two of them play opposite each other in the club’s practice games. Taiga sometimes caught himself humming as he put together his dinner bento, for evening practice. Aomine was impossible. The shots he could make were insane; it was like the ball and the basket were his two hands and he brought them together easy as that.

But, then, most of the team already said Taiga’s own jumps were impossible. And he was pushing his height further and further because it was the one advantage he had on Aomine. So Taiga didn’t pay much attention to what was possible or not, only to what he saw in front of him. Right now, that was Aomine.

Aomine… and Kuroko.

Taiga wasn’t always sure what to make of Kuroko. He thought about it today, on his way to school, hands stuffed in his pockets, looking out over a landscape of the tops of people’s heads. In his own way, Kuroko was almost as impossible as Aomine. The things he could do with the ball, the way he could move over the court unseen, straight through any defense, the way he always, always knew who was open and where… it was amazing. When Aomine and Kuroko played together in a practice game, they went through the other side like it wasn’t even there. Even, Taiga admitted, through him, because the speed and precision of their combination was frankly appalling. It was going to be an incredible weapon for Seirin, when the tournaments started.

But Kuroko refused to play with Aomine like that very often. He kept passing to other team members, deferring to Izuki-senpai’s plays, concentrating his passes on Taiga himself, if anyone. And when Taiga asked why, all he would say was that his game with Taiga could become stronger than his game with Aomine, and the way Aomine responded if he heard that tended to distract Taiga. The one time he had tried to press for more detail, the teacher had yelled at him for talking during class—at him, but not at Kuroko, because life with Kuroko was just like that.

Eventually Taiga intended to find out why Kuroko kept setting him and Aomine against each other. In the meantime, though, there were other things to think about. Things like failing English class, because the things they tried to teach here were utterly ridiculous and nonsensical. Things like hanging on to the counter during the rush at the cafeteria long enough to get a decent sized lunch, because he swore no one in this country ate enough to keep a squirrel alive. Things like defending his dinner from Aomine.

That last one was giving him some trouble.

Taiga slapped Aomine’s thieving fingers away from his box of stir-fry and slid further down the bench. Of course, that just gave Aomine a chance to try to snag one of the sandwiches out of the stack on Taiga’s other side; the man really was unfairly fast. Taiga swallowed and growled at his teammate. “What is with you? Bring your own damn dinner!”

“My cooking sucks,” Aomine said easily, eyeing Taiga’s other box, the one with the cookies, greedily. “So does Satsuki’s. And Kaa-san’s way too busy.”

Taiga pinned down his cookies under his toe, glaring. “So go snitch from Mitobe-senpai!”

From his seat against the stage, carefully out of reach, Mitobe-senpai gave them both a reproachful look.

“That’s not a very respectful thing to suggest, Kagami-kun,” Kuroko murmured from where he sat on the edge of the stage, finishing a can of Pocari and watching. And laughing at them from behind that straight face, Taiga swore.

“See? Even Tetsu agrees.” Aomine feinted for the sandwiches again and got a foot around the cookie box when Taiga shifted his weight, smirking with his success. Taiga decided finishing the rest of his food was more important than defending his dessert, and hurried up. If he finished fast enough, he’d damn well tackle Aomine and wrestle him for the damn cookies.

“Don’t you think you should stop them before Kagami chokes on his food some night?” Izuki-senpai asked Hyuuga-senpai in an undertone.

Their captain shrugged with perfect fatalism. “Kantoku thinks it’s good training for Kagami’s speed, to play keep-away with Aomine. I don’t argue with her about training.”

Izuki-senpai looked torn between amusement and worry, but he didn’t argue either. Taiga growled under his breath, biting into his last sandwich ferociously. Fine, then. If he had to teach Aomine some manners on his own, he’d do it.

Somehow.

“We’ll just come with you for your snack after practice,” Momoi offered, leaning on his shoulder and plucking the now empty cookie box out of Aomine’s grip. “And you can make Aomine-kun buy you dessert then.”

“He can what?” Aomine asked, brows going up.

“That sounds fair,” Kuroko put in, and calmly ignored Aomine’s protests. At least he ragged on them both equally, Taiga reflected.

“As long as there are absolutely no full-speed one-on-ones after,” Kantoku specified, looming suddenly behind them. “I’m relying on you, Satsuki-chan.”

Momoi pursed her lips dubiously. “I’ll do my best, Riko-kantoku, but these two…”

Kantoku sighed. “At least you can report it.” She glared down at them forbiddingly. “And then I can take it out of their hides.”

Taiga exchanged a look with Aomine, for once in perfect agreement. “After we eat,” Taiga muttered, as Aida-san moved off with Momoi, talking about individual training for the second-years.

“You’re on.” Aomine’s smirk was annoyingly lazy and casual, but he’d never once turned Taiga down.

“You really are going to get in trouble with the coach,” Kuroko noted, but not as if he expected that to stop them. Just an observation.

The weird part was, that seemed to be as good as a flat no to Aomine. “Oh come on, Tetsu,” he groaned, flopping back to sprawl on the floor. “I’m going to die of boredom if I don’t get to do something besides drills.”

“Kantoku is right about needing to be back in condition before you push harder than you have been,” Kuroko told him, even and relentless, and Aomine hauled himself upright to slump against the bench scowling.

“Like I’ll have to push harder.”

“You will in matches. That’s why you agreed to Seirin.”

Aomine hesitated at that, and finally sighed extravagantly. “Oh fine.” He glanced up at Taiga and waved a hand at Kuroko. “Argue with him about it.”

Of course, Taiga didn’t. One, because it was time to get back to practice, and two, because he was still trying to figure out what was going on with Aomine and Kuroko. Aomine listened to Kuroko like he didn’t to anyone else, up to and including the coach and captain. But there was something else Kuroko wanted, and Taiga could only think it was that something that kept Kuroko turning toward him instead of Aomine. He just had no fucking clue what it was.

He didn’t have much time tonight to think about it, either, because Kantoku put Aomine on the opposite side of the practice game from Taiga and Kuroko, and Taiga still had to fight to get passes to and from Kuroko without Aomine being right there in the way. It was annoying as all hell.

Aomine was annoying as hell about it, too. “Are you guys done yet?” he asked, smirking over the ball cradled easily in his grip halfway to Taiga’s hands.

“No,” Taiga snapped and jerked his head at Kuroko, holding up his hand. They’d find a way around Aomine, because this was exactly the caliber of player who was waiting for the team at the tournaments. Kuroko nodded back firmly, shoulders settling out of the tense line they always seemed to get when Aomine was on the other side.

It really did make Taiga wonder. If Kuroko got this tense about being separated from his old partner, why did he seem so bound and determined to make a new one out of Taiga?

There had to be something he was missing.


When the coach had said she’d gotten them a practice match with one of the other schools that had taken in one of the Generation of Miracles, Taiga had been excited. But he had to say, his first look at Kise Ryouta was not impressing him.

“Kise,” Aomine groaned, hand over his eyes, “will you get rid of your damn fangirls?” Once Kise had finished smiling and apologizing and generally dumping pretty-boy charm all over the landscape, and all the squealing girls had been herded out, he added, “What are you doing here, anyway?”

“I heard we’d be having a practice match with Seirin, and I thought I remembered this was where you and Kurokocchi came, so I had to come say hello didn’t I?”

“Hello, then,” Kuroko said from behind two of the second-years, making them jump and yelp. “But if that was all, then we should get back to practice.”

Okay, Taiga decided, as Kise downright pouted, Kuroko just liked to wind everyone up, is what it was.

“Kurokocchi is so mean, and after I was the one closest to you at Teikou, too!” Kise actually had tears in his eyes, and Kagami was starting to wonder if this guy was for real.

“I don’t remember that,” Kuroko said thoughtfully, and Aomine rolled his eyes.

“Do the comedy routine on your own time, you two. Seriously, Kise, why are you here?”

Kise’s overdone mournfulness evaporated, and his eyes glinted at Aomine. “I just wanted to make sure you were ready to be playing on opposing teams, Aominecchi.”

Aomine bared his teeth, shedding his usual lazy slouch as fast and completely as Kise had wiped away those fake tears, and something in Taiga leaped up like a fire catching. That. That look was the one he wanted to see in Aomine’s eyes, when they played.

Which was when he realized that neither Aomine nor Kise was paying any attention at all to the rest of the team.

“Ki-chan!” Momoi appeared in the doors of the gym, bags of drinks swinging from her fingers, laughing. “Tell me you didn’t come all the way up here to challenge Aomine-kun! The match is already set up, you know, you’ll play him soon enough.”

“Momocchi!” Kise brightened up and laughed along with her. “I just wanted to make sure I remembered right, that this was Aominecchi’s school!” He paused, looking back and forth between Kuroko and Momoi. “Wait a minute… Momocchi too? That’s no fair!” He crossed his arms and huffed at Aomine. “You should give us Kurokocchi, then.”

“Dream on,” Aomine told him dryly. “He’s not going anywhere.”

“That isn’t actually up to either of you,” Kuroko pointed out, and the flickers of guilt and something like panic on both Aomine’s and Kise’s faces almost made Taiga laugh.

Almost. Because watching the four of them, it was blindingly clear that they were still a team. Even broken up and competing as opponents, they still acted like a team—thoughtlessly close and knowing each other like right and left hand. Even Kuroko, who was standing a little back from the other three.

Fuck that. Aomine and Kuroko, and Momoi too, were part of Seirin now. They were Taiga’s team. He scooped up the ball he’d been drilling with, strolling into Kise’s peripheral vision, and heaved it straight for him, fast and hard as if it was a pass he was trying to get past Aomine.

Kise’s head whipped around and his hand came up to catch the ball, eyes wide and startled. “What was that for?” he asked, on a breath of a surprised laugh.

“Kind of doubt Kantoku will let you have Aomine, today,” Taiga told him, strolling closer, close enough to break the group as Kuroko stepped back further and Momoi rolled her eyes and hopped up onto the stage, off the court. “So let’s make sure you didn’t waste your time. Play me.”

“Kagami,” Aomine growled, truly pissed off if Taiga was any judge. He just raised his brows and jerked a thumb at the coach, who was tapping her foot and glaring at all of them.

“Fine,” Aomine snarled after a steaming moment. “Get your ass kicked. Maybe it’ll finally teach you something.” He whirled and stalked out of the way.

“Well.” Kise blinked after him before turning a sharp smile on Taiga. “Just a point or two couldn’t hurt.” He shrugged out of his uniform jacket, ball passing lightly from hand to hand as he did, never leaving his possession. Taiga smirked, pleased, and felt for his footing against the polished court.

Taiga was prepared for the speed, after playing with and against Aomine. He was even prepared for the pure assurance of Kise’s moves, the easy, natural grace. What blew him back was the sudden mirror of his own moves, the cut and turn that made his muscles stutter because they knew that shape and this was the wrong end of it. He stared up at Kise from flat on his ass on the court, and just had to laugh, leaning back on his palms. They were obviously all monsters, all of Teikou’s starters.

Good.

“Do that again,” he grinned, hauling himself to his feet.

Kise gave him a startled look that turned thoughtful as he glanced over at Aomine, simmering on the sidelines. “Maybe I see why Kurokocchi brought him here, after all.” He spread his feet, balanced on his toes, and gave Taiga back his grin. “Maybe a few more, then.”

“No more,” Momoi declared, jumping down lightly to step between them, palms held out. “You’ve had your look, Ki-chan. I’m not letting you take more of a handicap than that.”

“But…!” Taiga started to protest, running together with Kise’s, “Aw, Momocchi…” She shook her head firmly, looking past them to speak to the coach.

“No more. Letting Ki-chan see more of Kagami-kun would be dangerous.”

Kantoku nodded slowly. “I remember what you said. All right, then.” She stepped forward, gesturing Taiga back. “We’ll see you next week, Kise-kun.”

Kise sighed mournfully. “Yes, ma’am.” He paused to stick out his tongue at Momoi, and collected his jacket to toss over his shoulder on his way out. “I’ll look forward to it, Aominecchi!” floated back as the doors closed behind him.

“Mm,” Aomine grunted in answer. He was looking at Taiga, not his ex-teammate.

“What?” Taiga prodded. Aomine would brood on shit for days if you let him.

“You’re getting better,” was the startling answer. Aomine stood up and stretched. “A little.” And in a flash, he was across the court, blowing past Taiga and stealing the ball. Pure reflex spun Taiga around to follow his cut, and he leaped to block the shot he knew was coming. Aomine’s teeth were bared as he slung the ball around at a crazy angle and made the shot as surely as always. “A little,” he said again, as the coach yelled at them to knock it off and get back to their drills. “Just not enough.” He turned away to pick up the ball again, and Taiga turned to see Kuroko watching them with something dark in his eyes.

The more he saw of the Generation of Miracles, the more Taiga wondered what the hell had happened to all of them.


The practice match against Kaijou ran into trouble as soon as they’d all gotten changed. Taiga couldn’t say he was all that surprised.

“All right,” Aomine said, dropping his bag behind the bench and turning toward the court with a gleam in his eye, “let’s get this show on the hghk!”

Their coach had reached up for a grip on the back of his shirt and expertly yanked him down onto the bench. “Not you. You’re sitting this one out.”

He surged back up to his feet, towering over her. “What?!”

“You’ve missed almost a week’s worth of practice in the past month,” she snapped back, hands on her hips, perfectly uncowed. “You know the rules. You don’t practice, you don’t play.”

Kuroko’s voice cut over the start of his protest, cool and level. “Good.”

Aomine whipped around to stare at him. “Tetsu? What the hell?”

Kuroko looked up at him, and suddenly there was an edge on the usual calm of his expression. “All you’re interested in, here, is Kise-kun. If that’s the case, you might as well just ask him for a one-on-one match later, and leave the team out of it. That was what you were going to do anyway, isn’t it?”

Taiga found himself edging back, along with everyone else, shocked by actually seeing Kuroko angry, no matter how quietly. And… his voice was quiet, yeah, but also hard. Even Aomine seemed startled, staring at Kuroko with his hands loose at his sides.

“You heard what the captain said, the first day,” Kuroko went on. “If you want to play in matches with the team, then you have to be part of the team. If you can’t do that, then you might as well leave the game!” He gestured sharply at the club members around them. “I’m glad Seirin is this way. Akashi-kun and our old coach spoiled you, Aomine-kun. They let you turn your game into something that isn’t basketball any longer.” He jerked his wrist-warmers into place, motions sharp, and turned away. “If you want to remember what it is, what it was, then sit down and watch.”

Taiga watched Kuroko stalk onto the court, and Hyuuga-senpai going after him to catch his shoulder with a few low words about keeping his temper. Kuroko ducked his head, apologetic, back to being as deferential as usual to their senpai. The rest of the starting team looked at each other and shrugged, and followed them out.

And Aomine slowly sank back down to the bench, eyes still wide, looking like he’d been sucker-punched.

Taiga glanced over at Momoi, questioning, only to find her biting her lip, brows knitted with concentration like she was watching the team practice some really difficult play. When she saw him looking, though, she just shook her head, shooing him out to the court.

Once again, Taiga wondered exactly what had happened to them all.

“Kagami-kun,” Kuroko said softly, as Taiga came up beside him, “will you help me? Without Aomine-kun, there’s no one on the team who can beat Kise-kun alone. But you and I might do it together.” When he looked up, there was something burning in his eyes. Something Taiga recognized, and he grinned back.

“Let’s do it.”

Kuroko smiled just a little.

“What was that all about, Kurokocchi?” Kise asked, slipping across the center.

“Something I would have said a year ago, if I thought Akashi-kun would let me,” Kuroko said levelly.

Kise quailed back, hands lifted. “Don’t involve me if you’re getting into another argument with the captain!”

“Which captain was that?” Kasamatsu asked dryly from behind Kise’s shoulder, and, while Kise was stammering, turned him back toward his own team and hurried him on his way with a very literal kick in the butt.

“I’m glad Kise-kun found a team he can get along so well with,” Kuroko said, to all appearances perfectly serious.

They were all crazy. Every. Single. One.

But being crazy didn’t stop Kise from being crazy-good, and Kaijou matched them speed for speed right from tip-off. Within the first few minutes, Taiga thought he might be going to give himself a headache trying to keep one eye on Kise and one on Kuroko. Kise wasn’t like Aomine, he didn’t seem to feel in his bones where Kuroko’s passes would be, but he was fast and powerful and every move Taiga threw at him was thrown back with bruising force. Keeping track of Kuroko so they could actually get the ball to one another was an edge of concentration Taiga couldn’t afford to take away from Kise.

Kuroko knew it too. After the third ball they lost, just when Taiga swore he was starting to feel his jersey singe from the force of Aomine’s mounting glare, Kuroko touched his arm. “Don’t look for me,” he said quietly. “Can you do that? Don’t watch for me. Just go. I’ll be there.”

Taiga sucked in a quick breath. The thought made his spine crinkle; it would be almost like playing blind. And… he’d have to trust Kuroko blindly too. But Kuroko’s gaze on his, perfectly steady, perfectly calm, still had that will and determination to win burning behind it.

That, Taiga could trust.

“Okay.” He nodded shortly, turning to focus on Kise and nothing else. And it was weird. He’d have expected to have to fight to even remember Kuroko was on the court with him. But every time he needed to pass the ball, or found a place to break past Kaijou, Kuroko was right there in of the corner of his eye. Again and again, Kuroko was there.

He was also paying for it, running with sweat, breath rasping in his throat. “Can you keep this up?” Taiga asked as the first quarter ended, frowning a little.

“I can keep it up for as long as I’ll be effective,” Kuroko gasped, swiping away the sweat running down his jaw with the back of his wrist. “Just go.”

This time, the words put a different kind of shiver down Taiga’s spine, a feeling more like awe. He knew Kuroko was hopelessly weak outside his specialization, but he couldn’t listen to Kuroko, couldn’t look at him, and think his determination was pointless or futile. So, as the second quarter got started, Taiga took a deep breath and didn’t hold back.

Kuroko was paying hard to keep up. But he was also smiling just a little.

By the time they hit the middle of the second quarter, and Kantoku signaled for a player change, as planned, Kuroko was swaying a little on his feet. His grip on Taiga’s arm was hard, though. “Don’t let them get too far ahead,” he gasped.

“Obviously,” Taiga snapped, irritated, glaring down at him. And then he let out his breath and pushed Kuroko toward the sidelines where Koganei-senpai was waiting. “Now it’s your turn. Just go.”

Kuroko blinked up at him for a moment before it seemed to click, and a real smiled flashed over his face for a breath. “All right.”

Kagami watched him off, where the coach pushed him down onto the bench and dropped a towel on his head, crouching down to work on his legs. He watched Aomine watching Kuroko with one of the strangest expressions Taiga had ever seen—pissed off and somehow lost at the same time. He watched until Momoi stepped up to the sideline and signaled him sharply to pay attention to the game, and then he shook himself, getting ready to block Kise as completely as he could.

It was ridiculous to feel a little lost, himself, just because Kuroko wasn’t beside him.

Taiga took a couple deep breaths and sank himself back into the game, into the place where ‘speed’ and ‘power’ had no meaning. The only thing with meaning, there, was ‘more’. His more wasn’t enough yet; he couldn’t keep up with Kise, not all the way. Couldn’t stop him every time. Couldn’t take his attention off Kise to help with the rest of the team. Couldn’t pay attention to the score, only hope that his senpai could stop the rest of Kaijou. Half time barely registered with him except as a blur of cool water and Momoi’s quiet voice talking to Izuki-senpai about how to get past Kasamatsu.

When they got to the fourth quarter, though, they were only eleven points down. There was a glint in Kuroko’s eyes when he joined Taiga on the court again, and both Kantoku and Momoi were grinning like sharks beside the bench. “Ready to go?” Taiga asked him, gulping air.

“Of course.” In fact, Kuroko looked annoyingly cool and composed, and he eyed Taiga up and down, critically. “Are you?”

“Hey,” Taiga growled, and then rolled his eyes when he caught the faint curl at the corners of Kuroko’s mouth. “You’re just as much of a jerk as Aomine is sometimes, you know that?” He straightened up and swiped his hair back off his forehead. “And what did I tell you earlier?”

Kuroko looked up at him and nodded.

Just go.

Taiga sucked in another breath and took hold of the thought, sinking himself into it like he sank himself into the game, letting go of all the rest. Kuroko would be there. He believed it.

Their first play blazed past Kise.

When the throw-in hit Kise’s hands, he blew back through them like they weren’t even there, every movement sharp as a knife, and there was a look in his eyes Taiga was more used to seeing in the mirror.

“Right.” Taiga rolled his shoulders and jerked his head at Kuroko. “If that’s how we’re doing it, let’s go.”

The last quarter was a crazy back-and-forth scramble of offense, of fighting against the weight of Kise’s focus, and Taiga knew he was only keeping up because Kuroko was with him, because half their plays were something even Kise couldn’t grasp and copy. And even so, they were barely keeping up, and the score was always on the ragged edge of dropping them down too far to get back. Taiga felt the air of the court against his bared teeth.

He loved it.

He didn’t know if Kuroko did. Kuroko didn’t laugh with him; his face was quiet and intent the whole time. But that was okay. He was there, always there, perfectly in place to catch the bounce of Taiga’s passes and send them scorching back, edging Seirin’s score up and up, and that was enough.

Kise kept pushing, though, always meeting every drive Taiga made, always passing him, and the last minutes were ticking down. There had to be something Kise couldn’t just turn back on him!

“Kagami-kun.” He’d gotten so used to knowing Kuroko would be with him that this time he didn’t jump, even when he hadn’t actually seen him. “There’s one thing Kise-kun won’t ever be able to return.” He looked up at Taiga, measuring. “A buzzer-beater.”

“Mm. We’d have to fake him out somehow, and he’s getting better at predicting me.”

Kuroko nodded, matter-of-fact. “We can do that. You already know my timing, for it. You got it the first time we played.”

Taiga’s lips slowly drew back off his teeth again.

And when they got to the basket, it worked. Kise obviously knew exactly how bad a shot Kuroko was and turned toward Taiga, only to whip back in shock when Kuroko tossed the ball up in a gentle, completely inaccurate, curve. Kuroko was right, too; Taiga knew just when he had to go up to complete the shot. It was like the flip side of knowing Kuroko would be there for him on a drive. He slammed the ball in and the whistle blew as his feet found the floor again.

They’d won.

Taiga laughed and reached out to slap palms with Kuroko. They’d done it! This time, Kuroko’s steady concentration brightened into a real smile and his hand met Taiga’s firmly.

That smile stayed with Taiga for a while. So did the absolute stillness of Aomine’s face when the team came off the court. For a moment, he wondered whether this was the answer to what had happened to them. But it couldn’t be; he’d seen Aomine and Kuroko play together, and Aomine still had that perfect awareness of where Kuroko would be, the trust that he’d be there, the belief in Kuroko that let him just go without holding back or thinking about his partner.

Didn’t he?

This Moment to Arise – Introductions

Daiki had thought he’d gotten used to just how ridiculous it was that Tetsu had dragged him to this no-name school and dropped him into a basketball club that apparently had nothing going for it but enthusiasm. But this was where he put his foot down. The very idea of ‘announcing his intentions’ during morning assembly in order to ‘prove’ himself for this new team was laughable. He was the ace of Teikou, he didn’t have a damn thing to prove to a team that couldn’t even get to the Interhigh.

On the other hand, good entertainment was hard to come by, and he didn’t have any objections to watching other people make fools of themselves, so he’d let Tetsu haul him up to the roof to watch the fun. Watching the other first years was good for a snicker as they stepped up to the rail, one after another, and managed to stammer and shout at the same time. He wondered idly if it would be more of the same when the red-head he’d noticed yesterday stepped up for his turn. He was the only one of the club here that actually looked like he might be worth something on the court, tall and powerful. Good reflexes, too, Daiki thought, watching him jump up to balance on the rail.

And then the guy pulled in a lungful of air and yelled, loud enough that it echoed off the school buildings, “Class 1-B, seat 8, Kagami Taiga! I will defeat the Generation of Miracles and become the number one in Japan!”

That was when it stopped being funny.

That was when Daiki stepped in front of Tetsu, as he stirred toward the edge, stepped up and braced a foot against the rail and leaned out into the morning wind. “I’m Aomine Daiki,” he called over the lines of assembled students. “And I am number one in Japan.” He pushed back and turned on his heel to meet Kagami’s hot eyes. “And if you think you’re good enough, then come on,” he finished.

For a few seconds he thought he might have some light entertainment for the morning, because Kagami looked more than willing, but then the door slammed open and teachers spilled onto the roof. The lecture they made everyone sit for broke the mood. By the time they got to practice that afternoon, he was bored again, and when their little slip of a coach divided the players for a mini-game, he volunteered to be the first-year who sat out.

“Won’t be much use in it, otherwise,” he pointed out, which was only the truth. She’d said she wanted to evaluate the new players. If he was in, the only one she’d see was him.

“We’ll do two games,” she decided. “You’ll sit out the first one. Kagami will sit out the second.”

Annoyance flicked at him again, being equated with that guy, but he shrugged and slid down cross-legged on the side-lines. At least he could watch Tetsu.

It wasn’t long, though, before he was frowning a little. “Tetsu, what the hell?” he muttered as Tetsu went to dribble and promptly had the ball stolen by the second-years’ point guard. Kagami was the only one scoring, and he was pretty much playing solo. The moment the second-years got serious and put three men on marking him, the other two blew past whole rest of the first-year team. Including Tetsu.

He couldn’t actually blame Aida-san that much when she asked Satsuki, “He was a Teikou starter? Really?”

Satsuki gave Tetsu a positively doting look. “Tetsu-kun is so responsible,” she cooed. “You said you wanted to evaluate everyone, Riko-kantoku. Tetsu-kun is a specialist; this isn’t how he normally plays. But he’s showing you everything, so you know.”

“So I know how bad he is at every move?” Aida-san muttered. Before Satsuki could sing more of Tetsu’s praises, though, there was a scuffle on the court where Kagami was yelling at one of the other first-years. Daiki felt a sneaking bit of sympathy, because the other guys were exactly the kind of losers who kept giving up on him. They deserved a bit of yelling.

And then Tetsu stepped up behind Kagami and knocked his knees out, facing the resulting snarling without turning a hair and gesturing back down the court. Daiki sat up straighter, eyes narrowing. He knew that expression on Tetsu’s face. He recognized that action.

Tetsu liked this Kagami guy. He was treating him like a teammate.

And when the first-year team spread back out, Tetsu started passing. He’d obviously been watching everyone, himself, evaluating who could do what, because even with this team of losers he always got the ball to the one who was open enough to gather up his guts for a few seconds and take a shot. As the second-years pulled back from their triple-mark on Kagami, Tetsu shot the ball to him, and in three plays the points were almost level again.

Okay, Kagami wasn’t terrible, Daiki admitted grudgingly. He shouldn’t be mouthing off about beating Teikou’s first string, but he wasn’t bad. That still didn’t give him any right to be getting chummy with Daiki’s partner! He watched like a hawk as Tetsu got the ball for a final play and moved it down the court himself. He couldn’t really be meaning to shoot…

Daiki’s jaw tightened as Kagami started to move.

Tetsu tossed the ball up, with almost as little regard for form as Daiki had, and Daiki gritted his teeth as Kagami dunked it with perfect timing. But, as much as it pissed him off to see satisfaction flicker over Tetsu’s face, there was also a little tingle of excitement. Kagami might just be good enough to be interesting. For a little while, at least. So, while the first-years were cheering over actually winning against their senpai, Daiki went and picked up one of the balls out of the cart, tossing it a little in his hand to get the feel of it.

“Hey, Kagami,” he called, bouncing the ball a few times, and bared his teeth when Kagami turned around. “Let’s see what you’re really made of.”

Kagami’s eyes lit instantly in answer, which was nice. They’d see how long it lasted. Daiki slid down the court, weaving casually around the rest of the bodies on it, too fast for any of them move. Kagami moved, at least, came to meet him with a sharp, sure step that didn’t waver even when Daiki cut around him, past him, leaped to drop the ball in. He looked back, as he landed, to see Kagami frozen and shocked, and sighed. Fuck. Another one. He scooped up the ball on the bounce and turned away, reaching for the familiar blanket of boredom to throw over the disappointment.

“Where the hell do you think you’re going!?”

Daiki blinked and turned back. Kagami was pointing at him, indignant. “Get your ass back here and do that again!”

Daiki blinked some more. “…what, you like losing or something?”

Kagami snorted kind of impressively, folding his arms. “Don’t be an idiot. Do it again, so I can figure out how to beat you.”

Daiki was trying to put words to his feeling that he was not the idiot in this equation, when an earsplitting blast of the whistle made them both wince.

“Aomine-kun!” Aida-kantoku glowered from right next to them. “I told you no full speed plays!”

“That wasn’t full speed!” Daiki protested, stung by the injustice. Not that he’d actually been thinking about her orders at the time, but he still hadn’t broken them!

Everyone fell silent, staring, and Daiki huffed out an annoyed breath; did these people honestly not know what they’d signed up for their own damn club?

“How much of your top speed was that, then?” Aida-san asked at last, quietly, folding her arms.

Daiki considered. “Seventy percent, maybe.” Kagami made an outraged sound, beside him, and Daiki paused to smirk at him. “What was that about beating the Generation of Miracles?” he needled.

“Cut that out, you two,” the coach directed absently. “All right. Don’t go above sixty until I tell you you can. Your style puts even more strain on your body than I’d realized, and we’re going to have to make sure to build up your lateral movement muscles. And you!” she added, turning on Kagami. “Don’t you go along with him like that! You can train together when I say you can!”

“Yes, Kantoku,” Kagami agreed, glumly, giving Daiki a look that said he was pissed off over being held back like that. That he wanted to play again.

Daiki smiled slowly, spinning the ball lightly on his fingers. Lighter than he’d felt for a while, now. “We can take our time, I guess, yeah,” he purred.

Maybe there was some fun to be had, here, after all.

Of course, then she made them play another mini-game with Daiki switched in for Kagami. But at least Tetsu had stopped demonstrating his weaknesses. Daiki didn’t actually object to the chance to show Kagami how a real partnership with Tetsu looked, and even holding down his speed to sixty percent the ball sang between them and scorched down the court. The second-years weren’t total slouches, either. They gave up on defense after about four minutes of total disbelief and concentrated on offense to even the score.

And they were staying close, because Tetsu kept passing to the other first years. Daiki finally straightened up from blocking yet another shot from Hyuuga-san, who really was a pretty good outside shooter, and jammed his hands on his hips. “Tetsu, what the hell are you doing?”

Tetsu got the set to his jaw that meant he was feeling stubborn. “This isn’t a tournament match, Aomine-kun. It’s practice. It’s training.”

Daiki ran an unimpressed eye over their panting ‘teammates’. “You telling me you think you can train them up to win with a few passes? Don’t be ridiculous, Tetsu. You’re a shadow. You make any player stronger, yeah, but your own strength depends on the strength of your light.” Quieter, he finished, “No one else here can make you stronger than me. There’s no one here you can make shine brighter than me.”

Tetsu looked deliberately over at Kagami, fidgeting on the sidelines. “I think there is.”

It took Daiki a few seconds to put his jaw back where it belonged. “What the fuck, are you serious?” Tetsu’s eyes narrowed, and Daiki rocked back a step. Tetsu really was serious. “Tetsu…”

“Why should I settle for being the shadow of someone who’s given up, Aomine-kun?” Tetsu asked, low enough that Daiki didn’t think anyone else heard.

Daiki set his own teeth and spun back to the game. He knew Tetsu was right, in absolute terms. But what else was he supposed to do?!

They won the game, just like they always won, no matter what else happened. And the stunned look on Kagami’s face was satisfying. But the walk home that night was almost as silent as they’d been yesterday. And when Daiki came in to his classroom the next morning and saw everyone at the windows, chattering, and looked out to see what was written on the assembly ground in boundary chalk, he knew who had put it there.

My strength will make my team number one.

Satsuki slipped up beside him and leaned against his arm. “You know, Tetsu-kun has a point. He’s as strong as any of you, in his own way. He deserves a partner who will work for his game.”

Daiki turned away sharply from the window. He didn’t go to practice that day, either, retreating up to the roof instead, to think. Tetsu had caught him in the trap of this school, this team. If Daiki didn’t work hard enough for him, and maybe for the coach, Daiki wouldn’t be able to play. Even if he could, he’d still have to watch Tetsu working with Kagami unless he agreed to keep hoping, keep pushing for nothing. And he couldn’t do that any more. Part of him wanted to say fuck it all and just let the game go; it usually only hurt, these days, going out to play and having every opponent give up and turn away. But…

Well. There was still that ‘but’.

And there was Kagami himself.

And there was Tetsu.

Daiki rolled over onto his stomach, chin on his crossed arms, and sighed. No. He knew he wouldn’t actually leave. He supposed he’d just have to hang in there until he could play a team one of the others had gone to. That thought was a pleasant one, and he smiled, contemplating it until he dozed off in the spring sunlight.

This Moment to Arise – Departures and Arrivals

The door of Tetsuya’s classroom slammed open and Aomine stood glowering in the doorway. “Tetsu!”

Ah. He’d finally heard. Tetsuya put down his sandwich and waited while Aomine stalked through his scattering classmates to slam a piece of paper down on Tetsuya’s desk. The header, as much of it as was visible under Aomine’s hand, said Sei. “What the hell is this?” Aomine demanded.

“A letter,” he observed, just to get things rolling properly.

“Damn it, Tetsu, what did you say to my parents?” Aomine ran a rough hand through his hair, throwing himself down backward into the desk in front of Tetsuya’s. “They went and registered me with this place already, without even asking me!”

“You’ve rejected four top schools already, left to yourself,” Tetsuya pointed out, as he had pointed out to Aomine’s parents. “Seirin has a good reputation, but they don’t chase after athletes with recruiters. Your parents feel they’ll be less likely to indulge you too much.”

Aomine glowered at him. “You want to drag me off to some no-name school that doesn’t care about their sports programs? Tetsu, what the hell?”

“Their basketball club just formed last year, but they advanced to the finals of the Kantou preliminaries,” Tetsuya offered. He hadn’t chosen Seirin on a whim, after all. He’d looked carefully for a school that might help him reach Aomine again.

Aomine flicked dismissive fingers. “Yeah, I looked up their record, too. They got trashed by the high-school bracket’s top three. And then got trashed some more in winter. It was a decent start, but either it was a fluke or they don’t have any staying power. They aren’t in our range at all.”

“Then won’t it be a challenge?” Aomine hesitated at that, and Tetsuya felt the first real tingle of hope that this would work. “Isn’t that what you want?”

“Mm.” Aomine looked out the window, face still. “…you’re coming?”

“Of course.” Tetsuya made himself smile a little; if it was painful to do it after the tournament season they’d just had, no one else had to know that. Aomine did still want him there, and that was another grain of hope after the way the whole team had turned away from him on the court. And if doing this ran against the parting orders Akashi had given them… well it wasn’t as though Tetsuya was feeling either obedient or charitable toward his ex-captain these days. Besides, Tetsuya was a supporting player. Akashi had said so himself, repeatedly. As long as the light was divided, it shouldn’t matter where the shadow went. At least, that would be Tetsuya’s story if anyone asked.

Tetsuya wasn’t giving up his partner, or his game, without a fight.

Finally, Aomine snorted and wadded up the letter to stuff it into his pocket. “Guess it’s too late to be complaining anyway, since my parents already signed me up. Fine. We’ll see what this newbie club looks like.” He stood and stretched, mouth twisted into a half smile. “Maybe you’ll be right, and it’ll be a challenge to face the rest of the guys with a half-assed team.”

Tetsuya thought about the match footage he’d asked Momoi-san to find for him, and the straight, unbowed shoulders of Seirin’s players leaving the court, even after defeat. This time, he smile was truer.

“Yes,” he said quietly. “Let’s see.”


Aomine slouched against the side of the school message board as Tetsuya ran a finger down the map of club tables. “So? Where are we going?”

“Further down on the right.” Tetsuya turned and looked through the sway and shuffle of other new students, and older students talking up their personal clubs. Yes, there was the table they wanted, down in a quiet corner as one might expect for a small, new club. There was a student at it signing up already, though, which was encouraging. “There,” he pointed.

Aomine glanced over the top of the crowd and didn’t move. “Already got someone, huh? Well, at least it won’t be just us. Satsuki, go grab us some forms.”

Momoi swung her bag briskly and whacked him in the side. “I’m not your manager again until we get joined up. Get your own.”

Aomine pouted at her, and that was familiar enough to make Tetsuya smile. “Come with me, Momoi-san, and I’ll get them while you talk to the senpai. Aomine-kun can be left out if he wants.”

“Hey.”

Momoi giggled and linked her arm with his as they slipped through the crowd, leaving Aomine looking indignant by the message board. He steered them through the press with a light hand on her elbow and let her take the seat the tall red-head was just vacating. “Hello!” she nearly sparkled at the slight girl and the boy with glasses sitting behind the table, and the second boy hanging over the end of it looking like he’d just gotten off some kind of hair-raising amusement park ride. “We’d like to sign up for the basketball club!”

The girl smiled, open and pleased, and passed over a paper form. “Would you like to manage the club? That’s wonderful, we haven’t been able to find a manager before this!”

Momoi smiled her having-secrets smile and plucked a pencil out of the cup on the table. “Yes. I think I’ll be able to help out a lot.”

Tetsuya took two forms and two pencils and made his way back to Aomine, handing him one. “Fill it out properly,” he added, firmly, “or I won’t take it back for you.”

Aomine sniffed. “Why should I care whether I have to drop it off on the way past?” He ran a quick eye down the form and paused. “Ah.”

Tetsuya enjoyed the small moment of triumph as he meticulously filled in his name and his reason for joining. And his previous experience. Momoi could probably pass through without causing too much excitement, if only because so few people knew what she’d really done for Teikou. But two Teikou starting players? There would almost certainly be a fuss, unless Tetsuya was the one to slip the forms unnoticeably back onto the table. He nodded, satisfied, as Aomine heaved a sigh and scribbled down all his information, holding the paper against the back of the message board.

They picked Momoi up on the way past, and she waved her fingers at the girl, who was looking a little exasperated, and the boy, who was looking a little disheveled, like maybe he’d been smacked by his companion at some point. Momoi-san was grinning as they walked away.

“What did you do, Satsuki?” Aomine wanted to know, eyeing her sidelong.

She clasped her hands behind her, wide-eyed. “Nothing much. It’s just that Riko-kantoku is really easy to tease.”

“Kantoku?” Aomine echoed, looking back at the table, startled. “Wait. You mean… that girl is the coach around here?” He glared at Tetsuya. “I told you this school was half-assed!”

“Aida Riko,” Momoi murmured as they climbed the low steps to the school’s front doors. “Daughter of Aida Kagetora, who played center for the Japanese national team for five years. He retired to work as a very successful trainer in his own sports gym, and his daughter is following in those footsteps.”

“It will never not be creepy, the way you know this stuff,” Aomine grumbled, but he didn’t complain about their new team any more. Momoi winked at Tetsuya behind his back as they went in and started looking for their shoe lockers. Tetsuya gave her a tiny nod back; they would make this work.

And at least, this way, Aomine was forewarned and didn’t do more than sigh when their new coach ordered all the first year recruits to strip, at practice that afternoon. He did roll his eyes when Momoi, standing on the sidelines with a fresh pad of paper in her clipboard, made an interested Oohhhh sound and the entire club blushed as one. Tetsuya was mildly amused, himself, until the coach looked right past him and asked where he was. Then he sighed a little. He’d forgotten the occasional drawbacks of breaking in a new team.

When Aomine and Momoi chorused, “He’s right there,” and pointed to him, though, he smiled. They were still together. They would make this work.

He felt another flash of hope when Aida-san got to Aomine and paused, frowning. “Aomine-kun,” she finally said, hands on her hips. “Why are you in such bad shape?”

“Bad shape?” their new captain echoed, startled. “What do you mean?”

Their coach knelt, one hand lightly on Aomine’s knee, studying his legs more closely while Aomine looked a bit flustered. “His figures are incredible. Off the chart, really. But there’s a lot more muscle deterioration than I’d expect for just the off-season.” She stood and frowned at him more fiercely. “You haven’t been keeping up your training at all!”

Aomine shrugged one shoulder. “I win without it.”

“That isn’t the point!” Aida-san shook a finger at him. “You’re going to injure yourself if you keep playing the way your team did without keeping your motion drills up. I’m not having one of my players injuring himself through sheer idiocy! You’re barred from full-speed plays and any practice matches we have until you’ve built up your joint strength again.”

“I’m what?” Aomine stared at her in absolute disbelief. Tetsuya exchanged a quick glance with Momoi, who was wide-eyed and looked impressed. Their old coach and captain had set limits on Aomine when he practiced against the rest of the starting team, but no one had ever barred him from matches.

“Don’t argue with the coach about training,” Hyuuga-san told him flatly. “If she says you’re in danger of injury, that’s all there is to it. You keep her training schedule or I’ll pull you out of the official matches, too.”

Aomine stiffened at that, and Tetsuya let his breath out, a little wondering at how easy it had been. That was the one threat that would work. The one Akashi would never have allowed. And Hyuuga-san had delivered it without blinking, clearly in earnest.

“All right,” Aida-san clapped her hands. “Let’s get started! Today you can get a taste of the kind of training we do!”

Aomine sulked through the drills, and Tetsuya stayed close to him. Aomine ignored him, though, obviously remembering exactly who was responsible for him being here. When practice was over, and they met Momoi at the doors, Aomine said, “I’ll walk you home today, Satsuki.” He still wasn’t looking at Tetsuya.

Momoi glanced between them, worried, but Tetsuya nodded silently. He wouldn’t put up with being ignored for too much longer, but it suited him well enough to be on his own tonight.

There was someone else he’d been watching, today. He made a guess at where someone like Kagami, who was almost as impatient with the endless drills as Aomine had been, would go after a practice like today’s. Sure enough, he found Kagami shooting basket after basket in the little court at one end of the park between school and the nearest station. He opened the gate and greeted his new teammate quietly. “Kagami-kun.”

Kagami jumped and yelped, and Tetsuya waited for him to collect himself again. “You.” Kagami shook back sweat-damp hair, tucking his ball into the crook of one arm. “Well, I guess that works; I wanted to talk to one of you. I keep hearing about this ‘Generation of Miracles’, but when I came back from the States last year the level of all the middle school basketball I saw was pathetic. So, you’re from that team, right? Are you really that good?”

Tetsuya nodded to himself; Kagami had reminded him of Aomine, earlier, throwing himself into even drills like he was throwing himself over the edge of something, dissatisfied only because it wasn’t enough for him. Kagami was the type who played for intense games.

Good.

“Teikou never lost,” he said plainly. “Not once, the whole three years Aomine-kun and the rest played.”

Kagami made a disgruntled sound. “That doesn’t tell me anything. Maybe your opponents were all just weak.” He caught the ball again, bouncing it fluidly. “Play me. I want to see for myself.”

Tetsuya shrugged and agreed. It would be a good chance for him to measure Kagami’s game and get a sense of his nature.

They made it for about five minutes before Kagami blew up at him.

“Of course I’m not going to win,” Tetsuya told him absently, turning over in his mind what he’d seen. “That’s not the kind of player I am.” Kagami’s game burned hot; Kagami obviously loved it, and gave all of himself to it. That was good. But he was still unfocused. Tetsuya guessed that he played by responding to his opponents, shaping his game to against theirs. He’d ask Momoi, after she’d seen him play, to be sure. That kind of reactive play meant Kagami was only as strong as the opponents he’d met so far. It meant Kagami couldn’t match any of Tetsuya’s old team right now, but it might also mean he could grow to do so.

Kagami stopped yelling and sighed, slinging his uniform jacket over his shoulders. “Never mind. Just… look, take some advice and quit basketball. However much team effort you try to put in, the fact is it takes talent to play and win. You don’t have any.”

That jarred Tetsuya out of his thoughts, sent his mind flashing back to the day he’d said almost exactly the same thing of himself. Said it to Aomine, and had Aomine convince him to stay, convince him that his love of the game was the only crucial part to being a good player.

If he said those words to Aomine today, Aomine would probably agree, just like Kagami was right now.

The thought stiffened Tetsuya’s spine. “No,” he answered calmly. “I love the game, and I’m not leaving it. Besides, like I said, that’s not the kind of player I am. I’m a shadow. In a game, you’ll see.” Kagami frowned at him, puzzled, and Tetsuya tipped his head, considering his new teammate. He thought he knew what he needed to do, now, to make use of the strength Kagami did have. “You asked about how good the Generation of Miracles is. Now I’ve seen you play up close, I can tell you this. With your current game, you couldn’t even reach their feet.”

Kagami bristled. “What?”

“If you play Aomine-kun, you’ll see.” If they were lucky, Kagami’s fire would start Aomine’s again. If Kagami was the kind of player who loved hard games, who grew against tough opponents, this would be good for him, too. And Tetsuya might finally get his partner and his game back. If Aomine had someone to play against who didn’t give up easily, maybe he would start to come out of the dark again. “If you’re strong enough,” Tetsuya added, “you’ll have all the challenging games you might want. And when we play together, you’ll understand how I was part of that team.”

He had his own pride, after all. He would make them all understand, his old teammates and his new ones, that his game was strong in its own right. He hadn’t chosen Seirin only for Aomine’s benefit; this was a place that suited him. Seirin was a team that could use and would value the way Tetsuya could make them stronger, far more than Teikou had valued it by the end. And Kagami had potential. He had… light. He might become strong enough to be a real partner to Tetsuya.

Aomine wouldn’t like it, if that happened.

Tetsuya’s eyes narrowed as he pulled his uniform jacket back on. If Aomine didn’t like it, then maybe he’d stop acting like such an ass and act like a partner again.

Yes, this might be a place that suited Tetsuya perfectly.

Wrapped in Honeysuckle

“So.” Daiki flexed his foot and stretched his leg over the length of Seirin’s changing room bench, working the threatening cramp out of his calf. “New school year. Seems like the kind of thing we could stand to celebrate a little.”

Tetsu hesitated for a moment before he finished scrubbing his towel over his hair and nodded. “I suppose we could.” Daiki softened into a smile. Tetsu was the one of them who went at the most deliberate pace. If he agreed, then he was sure of himself, and a Tetsu who was sure of himself was unstoppable. It was something Daiki really wanted to get to see, in bed.

Kagami, on the other hand, was just looking resigned. “I knew this would happen once I let on I was living alone,” he grumbled. “First the senpai, now you. Fine, but if you spill any beer on the floor, you’re the one cleaning it up.”

Daiki blinked. For a perceptive guy, Kagami could be stunningly oblivious sometimes.

“Actually, I think it would be better to do this at my house,” Tetsu said, so calm and earnest that Daiki was instantly suspicious.

“Why?” Kagami asked, looking puzzled as he finished buttoning his shirt and scooped up his water bottle. “Your place is further from the station, isn’t it? More carpets to clean afterward, too.”

“Because we have enough spare futons to spread a double bed that all of us will fit in,” Tetsu explained, perfectly matter-of-fact.

The mouthful of water Kagami had just taken nearly hit the opposite wall and Daiki flopped back across the bench, laughing. Also a little flushed, because Tetsu had gotten to him with that mental image, too, but mostly laughing his ass off.

After a few seconds of coughing into his towel, Kagami rasped, “You know, when I came back they told me I’d have to adjust to how much more reserved everyone was in Japan.”

“Don’t tell me you’re just now figuring out Tetsu is evil,” Daiki snickered.

“Oh, I knew that as soon as he came after me with that damn dog.” Kagami glowered at Tetsu for a second before light suddenly dawned. “Hey, wait. Are you serious?”

Tetsu wore a tiny smile, now. “Yes.”

“Oh.”

Daiki felt an urge to wave his hand in front of Kagami’s face just to see if that would break the way he was staring at Tetsu. He suspected it might not, which was kind of cute and also a little embarrassing to watch. “Stop blushing and say ‘Yes, Tetsu’,” he prompted.

“If you want to,” Tetsu added firmly.

“He’s upright and breathing,” Daiki felt called upon to point out. “You expect him to say he doesn’t want to have sex?” Then he had to duck as Kagami swatted at him, glowering.

“I don’t know why he puts up with you,” Kagami growled. “I don’t know why I do, either.”

“Because I’m just that good.” Daiki lounged back on the bench, smirking. “Don’t forget to actually give us an answer, here.”

Kagami glowered at him some more, but it softened when he looked back at Tetsu. “Yeah,” he finally said, quietly. “I’d like that.”

Daiki grinned. Now they were getting somewhere.


Four days later, Daiki sprawled in Tetsu’s desk chair and considered their set-up. There was a double futon spread on the floor, taking up most of the open space in Tetsu’s room, with enough pillows for everyone. There was a pump-top bottle set neatly by the top of the bedding that Daiki was pretty sure he recognized the brand of, even though half the lettering was worn off the white plastic; that wear sent his mind down very distracting paths, thinking about Tetsu lying in the bed under the windows, strong slim fingers moving over himself.

The room was also furnished with Kagami, still a little damp from the shower and just about clutching a towel around his hips. Daiki was deeply tempted to tease him over acting like a nervous virgin, but before he got any further than smirking across the futon the faint sound of running water across the hall shut off. They were both looking at the door when Tetsu came in, rubbing a towel through his hair. Like Daiki, he hadn’t bothered with another, and Daiki grinned, anticipation curling through him. “So,” he pushed up out of Tetsu’s chair, “how are we going to do this?”

He had some ideas, of course, but he figured it was polite to at least ask.

Tetsu made a thoughtful sound, letting the towel drop. “There do seem to be some ways for three people at once,” he mused, “but they looked complicated for beginners.”

Daiki snickered helplessly while Kagami flushed from that towel right up to his hairline. “Of course you looked into the options.”

Tetsu gave him a reproving look. “I want this to work.”

Daiki softened at that and came to rest his hands on Tetsu’s hips, leaning down to kiss him. “I do too,” he admitted, low. He smiled wryly as he straightened, looking down at Tetsu. “So? Who gets to be first?” He didn’t think either he or Kagami was dumb enough to think that was anything but Tetsu’s call.

Tetsu’s brows quirked up a little and his eyes got the glint that made Daiki wary. In the same perfectly polite forms he used for everything from fighting with his teammates to answering questions in class, Tetsu told him, “I’m sure Kagami-kun wouldn’t mind if you’d like me to fuck you first.”

Daiki froze.

“You didn’t even think about it, did you?” Kagami asked, leaning back against the wall and finally letting go of his towel to cross his arms.

“Oh, like you did,” Daiki snapped, because it was a lot easier to glare at Kagami than at Tetsu right now. He actually hadn’t thought about it at all, he’d just… well everyone else let him do what he wanted… this wasn’t actually sounding very good even inside his own head.

Kagami just snorted and gave Tetsu a sidelong look. “Actually, considering the number of falls I’ve taken from him, yeah I did think about it.”

Daiki blinked and stared back down at Tetsu, startled.

“It was necessary,” Tetsu said firmly, as if they were talking about keeping up a training regimen instead of him downing his own partner. He’d thought what Tetsu had done during the match against Hanamiya was the exception, not the rule!

“So,” Daiki said slowly, “when you said, that one time, that you’d learned how to keep your partner away from the edge…”

Tetsu just looked back at him, calm and level, with such world-bending determination that Daiki nearly took a step back. “Okay, maybe I see why you thought about it,” he told Kagami, ruefully.

Kagami smiled, a bit crooked, and came away from the wall to stand at Tetsu’s back, arms wound lightly around his waist, above Daiki’s hands. “It’s Tetsuya,” he said quietly against Tetsu’s hair. “So why are you so surprised?”

Daiki winced slightly; he had to admit that he probably shouldn’t be, and he sighed, pulling his thoughts together. “Give me a little while to get used to the idea?” he asked Tetsu, running a thumb along his cheekbone. Tetsu smiled, small and warm.

“Of course. If it’s really something you don’t like, that’s different of course.”

But he didn’t get to get away with just assuming, Daiki finished the thought wryly. Yeah, he got it.

“So how are we going to do this?” Kagami asked, and Tetsu laughed softly.

“I don’t actually mind receiving.” He leaned back against Kagami and ran his hands up Daiki’s chest, slow and exploratory. “This time, anyway.”

Daiki and Kagami glanced at each other; Kagami’s eyes were dark and serious, and Daiki felt knocked for enough of a loop right then that he said, quick and impulsive, “Let Kagami.”

Kagami’s brows jerked up. “Are you sure?”

Daiki drew himself up. “Of course I’m sure.” Not like he was insecure about Tetsu or anything. Much. He caught Tetsu’s hand and lifted it to press his lips to the inside of Tetsu’s wrist, murmuring to his old partner, “But let me get you ready?”

Tetsu’s eyes were half closed. “Yes. I’d like that.”

Kagami shifted forward to support him at the same moment Daiki pressed closer, and they both stilled for a moment, eyeing each other over Tetsu’s head. But the way Tetsu relaxed between them, the soft, pleased sound he made, drew both their eyes right back down. Daiki was just a little careful as he bent his head to kiss Tetsu again, careful not to knock into Kagami’s shoulder, and they both slid their arms more firmly around Tetsu. This had been a lot easier to deal with when he’d only had to think about one of them at a time; then he hadn’t had to worry about how it would look if he ragged on Kagami to settle his nerves or let Tetsu pet his hair until he was just about purring. But both of them was obviously what Tetsu wanted. It wasn’t like Daiki disliked Kagami at all, just… they were too alike.

Alike in wanting Tetsu, in responding to him, to the warmth of his mouth against Daiki’s. Alike in being what Tetsu wanted, apparently.

On the bright side, Daiki realized as Tetsu wound his arms around Daiki’s shoulders and pulled him down more firmly, that meant Tetsu probably wouldn’t want one of them over the other, wouldn’t favor his current partner over his ex-partner who’d screwed up so thoroughly by breaking their game. Probably.

Maybe?

Daiki pressed closer, kissing Tetsu deeper, hot and wanting. And maybe Tetsu understood, because he kissed back just as hard, hands kneading over Daiki’s shoulders until he quieted a little, soothed by the feeling that Tetsu wasn’t going to let go. “Bed?” he asked softly.

“Bed,” Tetsu agreed, a little flushed.

It took a little arranging, but finally they were all stretched out on the futon pretty much the same way they’d been standing, back to front to front, with Kagami pressed up against Tetsu’s back and Tetsu’s leg sliding up to hook over Daiki’s hip and pull him closer. “At this rate, maybe we didn’t need the double futon after all,” Daiki laughed against Tetsu’s neck.

“I don’t think it would make anyone any less nervous to be worrying about falling off the edge of the bed,” Kagami said a little dryly.

“What’s to be nervous about?” Daiki asked softly, reaching for Tetsu’s bottle of lube, gaze fixed on the way Tetsu closed his eyes as he leaned his head back against Kagami’s shoulder. He glanced up at Kagami’s silence to find Kagami watching him as Daiki squeezed cool, thick gel into his palm. Kagami’s eyes were dark and thoughtful.

“No reason,” he said, finally, gathering Tetsu closer against him.

Daiki relaxed a little; at least Kagami had the good sense not to spook Tetsu with his own nerves. He kept holding Tetsu close as Daiki slid slick fingers down between Tetsu’s cheeks, but that was all right. Daiki wanted Tetsu to relax. He wanted Tetsu to keep making the soft, pleased sounds he was making right now, as Daiki’s fingers pressed slowly into him, and if having his current partner holding him helped, then that was how they’d do this. Because he didn’t want to have to stop touching Tetsu like this, feeling the heat of Tetsu’s body and the shift of his muscles around Daiki’s fingers, seeing the way Tetsu’s pale skin turned flushed and his lips parted.

“Daiki,” Tetsu sighed, tugging Daiki down to a kiss, and the sound of his bare name from Tetsu sent a little shiver of response up his spine. He kissed Tetsu slow and deep, fingers working inside him, and swallowed the little hitches of Tetsu’s breath. Part of him suddenly wanted to pull Tetsu closer, away from Kagami, say that, no, Tetsu was his, only his, but… he knew that wasn’t what Tetsu wanted now. He knew, it was just… He buried his head against Tetsu’s shoulder, touching him slow and careful. So careful.

He started a little when a large, warm hand settled gently on the back of his neck. “Easy,” Kagami told him, low and quiet. “It’s okay, right? No one’s going anywhere.”

Daiki had a hard time not lifting his head to stare at Kagami; how the hell had he known? The goal here, though, was to not spook Tetsu, so he just took a breath and nodded a little. “Yeah.” He kissed Tetsu’s bare shoulder and murmured, “Think you’re ready?”

Tetsu’s hand on his cheek coaxed his head up again, and Tetsu met his eyes with a thoughtful look for a long moment before he smiled. “Yes,” he said softly, like it was the answer to more questions than Daiki had actually asked, and kissed Daiki again. It was a gentle kiss but with a hint of fierceness; it was so much Tetsu it made him shiver. With that taste of fierceness in his mouth and Kagami’s hand still resting warm and steady against his back, it was easy to reach for more lube, to stroke it over Kagami’s cock and make a pleased sound that Kagami was hard for Tetsu already. Daiki fondled him, considering. He was definitely a nice handful, too.

“Fuck,” Kagami gasped against Tetsu’s hair, rocking up a little into Daiki’s hand, and Daiki had to laugh at the slow smile on Tetsu’s face, the glint in his eyes.

Tetsu wound his arms around Daiki’s shoulders and pressed up against him, murmuring, “Taiga. Come on.”

Kagami’s eyes were dark. “Yeah,” he said, husky, “all right.” He slid up tighter against Tetsu’s back and let Daiki guide him against Tetsu’s entrance. As he started to press in, Tetsu’s breath caught against Daiki’s shoulder, and Daiki had an unexpected flash of panic. Would this be all right, would Tetsu be all right, was this going to work? He pressed an open-mouthed kiss to the curve of Tetsu’s neck, hands sliding up to knead against Tetsu’s back, and whispered, “Relax, just relax, it’s okay…”

And then Kagami made a low, husky sound in his throat, and Tetsu did relax with a slow sigh, and a little shiver ran over Daiki as he stared at them. Tetsu slowly leaned his head back against Kagami’s shoulder, flushed, lips parted. Kagami was curled around him, eyes half closed with obvious concentration, big hands spread against Tetsu’s stomach. They were gorgeous together, and it wasn’t making Daiki jealous right now. It was making him hard.

“Daiki,” Tetsu murmured, tugging at his shoulders, and Daiki swallowed.

“Yeah. Yeah, okay.” When Kagami looked up at him with a smile, Daiki remembered that was almost exactly what Kagami had said to Tetsu, and couldn’t help smiling back, crooked. Yeah, maybe Kagami was on to something when he’d thought about Tetsu being on top. Daiki ran his hands slowly down Tetsu’s body, tracing the sleek hard lines of his muscles, and thought seriously about tracing them with his tongue too. That would be awkward right now, though, so maybe later. Instead he caught Tetsu’s mouth and slid his tongue between those parted lips, and wrapped still-slick fingers around Tetsu’s cock. The way Tetsu moaned into his mouth, low and breathless, rocking against him with the flex of Kagami’s body, pulled a wordless answering sound out of Daiki.

It turned hoarse and half-shocked when one of Kagami’s hands wrapped around Daiki’s cock. He looked up to see Kagami watching him with hot, hungry eyes as he moved against Tetsu. “Come on,” Kagami said, husky, tightening his other arm around Tetsu and rocking in deeper if the way Tetsu gasped was any clue. And then Kagami smiled, a little challenging and a little laughing, and finished, “Daiki.”

Tetsu laughed, between them, pulling Daiki closer, and a little shudder of want and nerves and excitement ran through him. Tetsu wanted this. It seemed like Kagami wanted this. So maybe it was okay. “Kagami…”

Kagami’s fingers on him were slow and coaxing, flexing a little in time with the way Kagami rocked against Tetsu.

Daiki took a breath and tried the name out on his tongue. “Taiga.” The way Kagami’s smile softened startled Daiki a little, and he responded to it without thinking, reaching up to bury his free hand in that wild red hair. “Tai.”

Kagami… Taiga closed his eyes, leaning into Daiki’s hand a little. “Yeah.”

Heat was starting to unravel Daiki’s brain, the heat of all of Tetsu’s skin up against him and Taiga’s hand on his cock and Tetsu’s arms around him tightening when Daiki stroked Tetsu’s cock harder. In the middle of all that heat, it made perfect sense to lean in and kiss Tai, and perfect sense to let Tai’s tongue fill his mouth slowly, so slow and thorough and wet that he had to moan with how good it felt.

When Tetsu bucked between them, gasping, cock pulsing in Daiki’s hand, it made Daiki’s own body tighten, sudden and hot.

“Fuck, Tetsuya,” Taiga groaned into Daiki’s mouth, and Daiki could feel how he shuddered, how his thrust drove Tetsu harder against Daiki. Just thinking about that made the pleasure building low in Daiki’s stomach tighten sharply, and feeling it happen was hotter than he’d thought it possibly could be. He wrapped his sticky hand around Tai’s fist and held it tight around him as he rocked into Tai’s grip hard and fast.

One panting breath, another, and Tai tore his mouth away from Daiki’s and buried his head against Tetsu’s shoulder as his whole body jerked taut. Tetsu gasped again, soft, and pulled Daiki down ruthlessly against his mouth, kissing him hot and hard. Daiki moaned as Tai’s grip tightened a little more and one last thrust spilled him over the edge, breath cutting short and sharp as pleasure burst through him.

In the dazed, sticky warmth after, before any of them started to try to untangle themselves, Daiki thought about how unexpected most of that had been. How unexpected it was that Tai’s hand was still on him, just as easy resting there as Tetsu’s arms were around his shoulders. Or his hand in Tai’s hair.

Daiki hadn’t really thought he’d be a part of them being together. Not like this. He’d thought it would be him and Tetsu, and Kagami and Tetsu, and maybe him and Kagami too when they were warmed up by a good game. He hadn’t thought about something like Taiga kissing him and fucking Tetsu and Tetsu holding him and Daiki fisting off Tetsu and Tai’s hand tightening around him. It was a thought to make a person dizzy trying to follow it around. Dizzy and warm.

Tetsu’s fingers stroked the back of his neck, and Daiki realized Tetsu had been watching him all this time. “Is this what you want?” Tetsu asked quietly.

Daiki opened his mouth and closed it again. “It is now,” he finally said. Now that it was a possibility in his head.

Tetsu’s brows creased just faintly at that, but Taiga looked up with dark, thoughtful eyes. His hand finally loosened from around Daiki, slid out from under the grip Daiki hadn’t let go yet, and rested on his shoulder. “Hey,” he said softly, “come here for a second.” When he tugged, Daiki leaned in, only a little wary, and let Tai kiss him again. This one was a quiet kiss, slow and gentle, and it almost made Daiki twitch with not knowing what to do about it. “It’s okay,” Tai told him, thumb rubbing along the muscle of his shoulder. Tai’s mouth quirked. “You’re a complete idiot sometimes. It’s okay.”

Daiki glared a little at that, though he couldn’t get much force behind it because Taiga did seem to know what to do with all this. He looked back down at Tetsu, instead. “It’s what I want now,” he said again, low, and Tetsu’s whole expression softened and lightened. He leaned up to kiss Daiki, warm and open.

“Okay.”

Daiki wound his arms tight around Tetsu, head pressed against his shoulder again, and didn’t protest when Tai’s fingers ran gently through his hair. It felt good, in a way that made his stomach a little shaky with unfamiliar warmth deep enough to close over his head. Maybe, he decided, sex could be better than basketball, after all.

Some of it, anyway.

In hanakotoba, honeysuckle indicates generosity or devotion.

End

A Good, Free, and Unconstrained Will

Cause

It was Daiki who mentioned it first, stroking his thumb along the line of Taiga’s collarbone one afternoon when they were all tangled together in Tetsuya’s bed, still a little sticky but catching their breaths again.

“You’ve stopped wearing that necklace all the time.”

“Mm.” Taiga shrugged a little, trying not to shove anyone off the bed, or scrape his shoulder blades against the wall, or show how the observation made him twitch. “I still have it. Just seemed like it was maybe time to take it off and put it away.”

Tetsuya turned, where he was lying between them, unfairly graceful and not elbowing anyone in the stomach. Taiga concentrated on that, and not the question in Tetsuya’s eyes. “Did something else happen between you and Himuro-san?” Tetsuya asked quietly.

Taiga sighed, giving in; he obviously wasn’t getting out of this conversation, especially since he was the one up against the wall and couldn’t make easy excuses to get up. “Nothing new,” he said, low. “Just, the more I thought about it, the more I realized Tatsuya was right. He’s not my nii-san any more.”

“Yousen’s Himuro Tatsuya?” Aomine asked, sliding a hand up to drape over Taiga’s hip, casual in contrast to the way he was watching Taiga.

“I knew him back in the States. He was the one who got me into basketball.” Taiga snorted at the way Daiki perked up. “The rings… it was a little kid’s pledge, I guess; he didn’t… he’s not…” He sighed and turned his head into the curve of Tetsuya’s shoulder, frustration bubbling up fresh. “I can understand if he doesn’t want to claim something he doesn’t feel like he can hold up his end of. But basketball wasn’t the reason he was my big brother! It didn’t have to be the only thing between us!”

Tetsuya’s fingers threaded through his hair, holding him closer. “He took care of you.” Taiga nodded silently. Yes, Tetsuya understood that.

“And now that you’re a better player than he is,” Daiki said slowly, thumb rubbing over Taiga’s hip, “he doesn’t think he can any more. What a moron,” he added, thoughtful.

Taiga snorted a pained laugh against Tetsuya’s shoulder. Yeah, Daiki, with his passion for people who didn’t give up, wouldn’t think much of Tatsuya’s choices. “I’m not mad at him. Not really. It… doesn’t change how he did take care of me, back then. It’s just different now.” If Tatsuya wouldn’t see that he could still be Taiga’s nii-san, no matter who won on the court, then it was time to put the ring away with the rest of his memories.

“Hmm.” Tetsuya’s fingers rubbed slowly over his bare nape. “Taiga. If you’ve taken off that necklace, would you let me replace it?” he said at last.

Taiga lifted his head and blinked down at Tetsuya. “Replace it?”

Tetsuya smiled and squirmed out from between them, sliding off the foot of the bed. “Here.” He padded across the room and took a small box out of his desk drawer, sliding back up onto the bed as he opened it. He laid the open box between Taiga and Daiki and sat back on his heels, watching them.

There were two slim, dark necklaces in the box, just a little longer than choker length, much shorter than the chain Taiga had kept his ring on. He fished one out, curious, and ran it through his fingers; it was finished leather cord, soft under his fingertips. He glanced up at Tetsuya. “You want to…”

Wait.

This couldn’t be a simple pledge among the three of them, like the rings. There were only two necklaces, not three. And Tetsuya had set them very precisely in between Taiga and Daiki. Taiga could feel his face turning hot at the implication, and his voice was a little more strangled when he corrected himself. “You want us to wear…?”

Tetsuya was watching them quietly, not demanding anything, but there was a glint in his eyes that made Taiga hot in a different way.

Daiki lifted the second necklace, running it through his fingers and glancing back and forth between them. “You want the two of us to wear these?” he asked, toying with the slim cord. “For you?” When Tetsuya nodded, Daiki gave Taiga a thoughtful look and smiled slowly. “I will if you will.”

Taiga glared. That was playing dirty.

The corners of Tetsuya’s mouth were curled up in a silent laugh as he leaned forward and laid a hand on each of their wrists. “Only if you want to,” he said firmly. And then his fingers stroked the back of Taiga’s hand gently. “But I would like very much to be able to replace that necklace, for you.”

To replace the necklace. To replace what it meant. To take care of him. Taiga felt the curl of warmth through his chest that was becoming very familiar; it happened whenever Tetsuya made it clear how close he held them. And Tetsuya would never, ever give up his hold on someone just because they were stronger. Taiga had a year and more worth of proof of that.

“Yeah,” he said, a little husky. “Yeah, I’d like that too.”

“Good,” Tetsuya said softly, and lifted the necklace out of his hand. “Lift your chin.”

Taiga had to swallow against a sudden flutter of response low in his stomach as Tetsuya slid up the bed to straddle him, leaning in as he wrapped the slim cord around Taiga’s neck. The tiny snick of the clasp fastening, more felt than heard, sent a spike of heat right down Taiga’s spine. The delicate stroke of Tetsuya’s fingers over the cool line of leather made him shudder. “Tetsuya…” God, was he ever going to get used to the way it made him feel, when Tetsuya took control?

Daiki laughed beside him, husky. “Hey, no getting ahead of yourself. It’s my turn.”

Taiga opened half closed eyes to see Daiki hand Tetsuya the other length of cord, smiling. He turned over, bending his head down against Taiga’s shoulder, offering Tetsuya his bared nape, and Taiga wound an arm around him more or less by reflex. Daiki looked so vulnerable like this.

“Yes, it’s your turn,” Tetsuya agreed, voice gentle, and passed the soft leather carefully around Daiki’s throat and closed the catch firmly. Taiga felt a little shiver run through Daiki. He thought Tetsuya did, too, because he leaned down and pressed a kiss to Daiki’s nape, just over the clasp. Daiki practically purred, relaxing against Taiga, and Tetsuya leaned against them looking satisfied.

A thought nudged at Taiga, one that made his face heat a little once again, but he wasn’t going to lie to himself. He knew perfectly well what they were doing, what it meant that Tetsuya had put this on him rather than let him do it himself. It wasn’t like he objected, but that kind of meant he should ask Tetsuya about taking it off, too, right?

“I don’t think we should wear these on the court,” he said, touching the necklace. “They aren’t very heavy; they could get broken too easily.”

Tetsuya smiled, reaching up to stroke his cheek. “Of course. I want you to be sensible about them. Whatever you think is necessary.”

Taiga turned into that touch, mouth tilted ruefully as he acknowledged how it relaxed him to have Tetsuya’s agreement on that. His permission. Daiki stirred against his shoulder, looking up.

“I think I might be a little not-sensible.” Daiki’s eyes were dark, on Tetsuya, and Tetsuya’s smile turned darker as he met them.

“That’s fine too,” he said softly, reaching out to hook a finger under the thin cord and pull it taut. “I’ll put one of these back around your neck as many times as it takes.”

The sound Daiki made, husky and wanting, sent Taiga’s blood rushing to his cock. Tetsuya, still straddling him, laughed. “Come here, Daiki. Take care of Taiga for me.” He slid to the side, nudging Taiga into the middle of the bed, and pulled Daiki down by his necklace—his collar—until he was kneeling between Taiga’s legs, bent over to nuzzle against Taiga’s cock. “Yes. Like that.”

Taiga slid his hands down Daiki’s arms and over his shoulders, hands working against the sleek muscle there as Daiki licked his cock teasingly. “Daiki…” He loved the way Tetsuya drew them to each other, and it never stopped getting him hot, watching Daiki submit to Tetsuya, but Daiki could be a little disconcerting in bed. He teased even more than Tetsuya. Daiki glanced up at him, smirking a little but gently, and wound his arms around Taiga’s hips, long fingers spreading against his back.

“Shut up and enjoy it, Tai,” he murmured, and closed his mouth around Taiga, hot and slick and sure. Pleasure tightened on Taiga like a knot closing, and he gasped, trying not to rock up too hard while Daiki’s tongue stroked over him enticingly.

And then Daiki gasped around him, abruptly flushed, hands tightening on Taiga’s back. Taiga looked up and realized Tetsuya had settled behind Daiki, hands kneading over his raised ass. Tetsuya smiled just a little as he spread Daiki’s cheeks wide and rubbed slow fingers over his entrance. Tetsuya had not, Taiga realized, flushing a bit himself, reached for the lube yet. He knew Daiki liked Tetsuya to be rougher with him than he ever was with Taiga, but was Tetsuya really…? Tetsuya pushed a finger in, and the way Daiki moaned around Taiga sent a shudder of pleasure right up his spine.

“Tetsu,” Daiki gasped, head tipping back as he arched on his knees to push his ass up higher.

Tetsuya smiled slowly. “I told you to take care of Taiga,” he reminded Daiki, working his finger in and out of Daiki’s ass with short little thrusts. Taiga could watch it, from where he lay, and see how Daiki’s eyes went darker at the quiet command in Tetsuya’s voice.

“Yes, Tetsu,” he murmured, and lowered his head again, wrapping his lips around Taiga’s cock and lapping at him quick and firm, just like the movement of Tetsuya’s hand. When Tetsuya pushed two dry fingers into him, Daiki shuddered and sucked on Taiga like he could coax Tetsuya’s fingers deeper that way. It felt incredible, like Taiga was part of what Tetsuya was doing to their lover, and maybe that was why he whispered, “Tetsuya, please…”

Tetsuya looked up, holding Taiga’s eyes as he twisted his fingers deep in Daiki’s ass. “You think I should give him more?”

Taiga shuddered softly with the vibration of Daiki’s moan. “Yes!”

Tetsuya laughed softly, drawing his fingers back and reaching for the bottle still tangled in Taiga’s sheets. “Very well.”

Taiga swallowed, throat dry as he watched. He knew how it felt, knew so well how it felt to have Tetsuya’s hands wrapped around his hips, holding him while Tetsuya’s cock pushed in slowly, slowly, opening him up. So he knew exactly why Daiki was making those husky sounds and why his hands were clutching at Taiga’s back and why Daiki’s mouth was desperate against him. He was pleading for both of them when he moaned, “Please, Tetsuya, harder…”

And when Tetsuya shifted, leaning over Daiki and driving in deep and hard, it was Taiga who came undone under the slide of Daiki’s mouth all the way down his cock. He lost track of watching Tetsuya, but he could feel everything Tetsuya was doing in the pressure of Daiki’s mouth on him as he clutched at Daiki’s shoulders, gasping with the pleasure wringing him out. “Tetsuya…! God, Tetsuya, please!”

By the time he came back down, Daiki was sprawled across him, just as messy and breathless as he was. Tetsuya was arched taut behind him, buried deep inside Daiki, flushed and gasping softly. The sight wrung another moan out of him, and when he looked down Daiki’s eyes were fixed on him. “I can see it,” Daiki told him, husky. “I can see how he looks in how you look right now.”

“Mmm.” Tetsuya slowly opened his eyes again and released Daiki’s hips to stroke down his back. “Yes. Just like Taiga could tell what I was doing and what you needed.” He eased free of Daiki and pushed him gently down against Taiga, keeping a hand on Daiki’s back as he settled beside them. “We’re doing this together, and there’s no competition between you. Remember that, all right?”

Daiki froze, staring at Tetsuya with wide eyes. “I…”

Tetsuya smiled and cupped his cheek, stroking a thumb over the sharp line of his cheekbone. “You think I wouldn’t see it, when you were my partner for so long and you’re my lover now? I want both of you,” he told Daiki softly, touching the cord of leather around his neck. “Never doubt that.”

Slowly, Daiki nodded, relaxing against Taiga, eyes lowered. “Yes, Tetsu,” he said, more subdued by Tetsuya’s quiet words than Taiga had ever seen him, even when he was tied up. Taiga wrapped his arms around Daiki, holding him close. He knew how that felt, too. It was, he thought, exactly why both of them were willing to walk around wearing the delicate collars Tetsuya had clasped around their necks, and he smiled against Daiki’s hair.

They were all together in this, all right.

Effect

Izuki Shun had always watched the people around him; it was one of the habits that made him a good point guard. And his teammates were always worth watching, for the amusement value if nothing else. So he’d noticed a few months ago that Kagami had stopped wearing the ring on a chain around his neck that used to always be there, even during practice. And he’d noticed about a week ago that Kagami had started wearing a simple leather necklace, the kind that you could find at any accessory stall in any shopping district. That, though, he carefully removed and tucked away whenever he changed for practice or a match.

Which was, perhaps, why it took so long for anyone else to notice. Shun had laid a tiny bet with himself on who it would be, and he won it the evening Koganei looked up from tying his shoes and suddenly grinned.

“Hey, Kagami.” Koganei’s tone was as good as a knowing nudge in the ribs. “You’ve got a new necklace these days. Is there someone who wants you to wear her present, instead of your old girlfriend’s?”

Kagami promptly turned red and sputtered. “It’s not like that!” Shun had expected that kind of response, because Kagami really was awfully innocent in some ways. The surprising part was the way Kagami hesitated as he fastened the necklace, looking aside, and added, “Not exactly.”

Of course, that was as good as waving a feather in front of a cat. “Not exactly?” Koganei pressed, sidling up to throw an arm around Kagami’s shoulders despite the height difference. “So there really is a girl, isn’t there? Come on, you can tell senpai all about it…”

Kagami was sputtering again, and Shun was preparing to take pity on the poor guy and intervene when Kuroko beat him to it.

“Koganei-senpai,” he said, sharper than Shun had ever heard him speak to any of his seniors, “that’s private. You shouldn’t tease Kagami-kun about it.”

The entire club fell quiet for a moment, staring. Kuroko tugged down his cuffs and stood, looking back levelly. It wasn’t quite the way Shun had seen him stare down opponents, but it was close. He didn’t blame Koganei for stepping away from Kagami, hands raised.

“Just kidding around.”

And quick as that, Kuroko was back to his usual self, calm and at ease, giving Koganei a very proper little bow. “Of course, senpai. Excuse us, please.” He slung his bag over his shoulder and led the way out, and Kagami followed him.

There was, Shun noted, predictable relief at being rescued on Kagami’s face, but there was also something soft along with it. As unusually soft as Kuroko had just been sharp. He considered that thoughtfully, as he pulled on his jacket.

Maybe this was something he’d keep a particular eye on.


Junpei had separated from the rest of the team in the wake of the first winter preliminaries, and was walking home beside Riko and Teppei, when Riko finally spoke up.

“So. Did you see Aomine when we passed Touou, on our way out?”

Junpei winced. He’d foolishly hoped she hadn’t noticed. “It’s none of our business,” he said firmly.

“What isn’t?” Teppei blinked at them.

“Teppei!” Riko huffed, obviously exasperated. “Didn’t you notice that Aomine was wearing a necklace just like the one Kagami wears these days?”

“Well sure,” Teppei said calmly. “I’m glad those two seem to be getting along so well.”

Junpei buried his face in his hands, groaning. As if Riko wasn’t bad enough! “It is none of our business,” he repeated hopelessly.

“I wonder if Kuroko set the two of them up,” Riko speculated with gleaming eyes, completely ignoring him. “Maybe that’s why he was so defensive when Koganei was teasing Kagami.”

Teppei made a thoughtful sound. “I have to admit, I always expected all three of them to be together, but maybe you’re right. At any rate, he doesn’t seem to feel left out, and that’s good.”

Junpei wondered wistfully if putting his hands over his ears would drown them out.

“Oooo, if they are all together, maybe that’s what it is!” Riko clasped her hands in front of her mouth, eyes dancing. “Maybe those are actually Kuroko’s necklaces they’re wearing.”

“Kantoku!” Junpei finally yelled. “Quit talking about our players’ love lives!”

From the way she broke down giggling, he figured she’d just been trying to get a rise out of him anyway, and sighed. And swatted at Teppei’s hand when it landed on his head and rumpled his hair ‘comfortingly’.

“Oh, don’t worry.” Riko bumped her shoulder against his arm and grinned up at him. “It’s not like I’d say any of this in front of them.”

“Although, you know, I wouldn’t be surprised if Kuroko had it in him,” Teppei started, and Junpei cut him off sternly.

“Both of you shut up about this, or so help me I’m going home alone tonight.” Which, since his was the only house at which the three of them could reasonably spend an evening together out of reach of paternal death-threats or grand-parental ears, was a significant enough threat to make them stop.

That didn’t stop him from remembering the conversation, every time he saw Kuroko smile while Kagami fastened that necklace on after practice, but he’d already become resigned to the fact that being a boyfriend to Riko and Teppei did bad things to a man’s brain. He figured it was worth it.


Takao Kazunari had never really been surprised by how often Shintarou wanted to visit his ex-teammates in Tokyo. For all his quirks, Shin-chan was pretty much born to be a team player, and Kazunari actually had no trouble believing he’d been the voice of reason on the Teikou team.

Considering who else had been on that team, after all.

So, even before Kagami and Aomine started sneaking out to see each other, Kazunari had been driving his partner back and forth across central Tokyo at least once a month to give Kise or Kagami or Kuroko very backhanded advice, or to trade insults with Aomine. It was unquestionably good muscular and cardiovascular training, and some days, like today, it was good entertainment, too.

“The two of you have no discipline whatsoever,” Shintarou sniffed, adjusting his glasses as he gave Aomine and Kagami unimpressed looks. Admittedly, they both looked pretty scruffy at the moment, wringing wet and gasping for breath.

“Oh, come on Shin-chan,” Kazunari called, bouncing the ball easily and keeping a sharp eye on Kuroko. “How long were they been playing for before we got there?”

“That,” Shintarou said in arctic tones, “is exactly my point. Both of them should have the strength to go for longer, if they ever bothered to pace themselves properly.” He swept back his hair, sweat-soaked for all his breathing was still disgustingly easy, and gave the two other aces a thoroughly disgruntled look.

Kazunari was hard-pressed not to laugh at the way both Kagami and Aomine seemed torn between glaring at each other and glaring at Shintarou. “Give ’em a break, Shin-chan. We can go bug Kise, if you want more of a work-out.” That suggestion focused both glares firmly on him, and he smirked back at them. He was pretty sure they’d be pacing themselves more carefully, after having to hear something like that from him; never let it be said he didn’t look after his partner’s interests.

“Midorima-kun is right, that’s enough for today,” Kuroko put in, and Kazunari blinked, finding his hand abruptly empty of the ball. Kuroko was getting sneakier every month, he swore. But that little coup seemed to be enough to settle Kuroko’s own partners, and they all trouped off the court together. Kazunari stretched his calves thoughtfully as they fished out water and towels, wondering if he’d really make it to Kaijou and back without his legs giving out. Which wasn’t a problem in and of itself, but Shin-chan would lecture him just as mercilessly as he did his ex-teammates. From the look in his partner’s eye, though, Kazunari really didn’t think Shintarou would be satisfied with this game alone, today. He’d been restless all morning, and looking forward to a hard game.

Sure enough, Shintarou was tetchy enough that even watching Kagami fasten a plain and unassuming necklace on was enough to rouse his ire. “You’ve always been careless, Aomine,” he snapped. “I notice you didn’t even bother taking your frivolous decorations off while you played.”

Huh. Now Shin-chan mentioned it, Aomine did have on a necklace a lot like Kagami’s, a plain leather cord number. In fact… it looked almost exactly alike. More to defuse Shintarou’s temper than anything else, Kazunari grinned and asked, “What, are you two married now, as well as rivals?”

He blinked when they both turned red and sputtered.

“It’s not…”

“Definitely not…”

“I mean, not like that…”

“Seriously, well okay, not exactly like that, but seriously…”

Kazunari’s eyes widened with delight at every jumbled denial. “You are, oh that’s so beautiful.” They nearly gargled at him, at that, reduced to non-verbal protests, and he laughed.

He’d never claimed that he didn’t have an evil sense of humor.

Before he could wind them up any more, though, Kuroko straightened up from zipping his bag and said firmly, “Enough.”

The command in his tone was a little startling, but Kazunari had seen Kuroko play hot, and he’d seen Kuroko angry once or twice. He knew Kuroko had a cutting edge under that smooth expression. What was a lot more startling was the way both Kagami and Aomine fell quiet at that one word.

At that order.

It all fell together at once, the matching leather necklaces, the way Aomine kept his on and Kagami had flushed just a little deeper putting his back on, the way that one word had pulled them up short. Kazunari pursed his lips and whistled quietly. “Well, well. Congratulations, then,” he told Kuroko, perfectly in earnest. He was impressed.

When Kuroko just dipped his head, accepting it as his due, Kazunari had to grin.

“In that case, we’ll just be off and let you three get on with things,” he said cheerily, slinging an arm, or at least a hand, around Shin-chan’s shoulder and tugging him toward the corner of the court where he’d left the bike and cart.

Shintarou frowned down at him in obvious puzzlement. “Takao, what–?”

“Shh.” Kazunari laughed under his breath. “Tell you later.” Aomine and Kagami were both red in the face. “Not that I’m actually all that surprised,” he added as he unlocked the bike and wheeled it around. “I mean, it’s always the ones you wouldn’t expect, right?” He paused, struck by an enticing thought as Shintarou gave him an exasperated look. “Hm. Speaking of which, what would you say to going straight home instead of visiting Kise?”

Shintarou looked down his nose. “And why would I agree to that, when Aomine and Kagami were barely a challenge today?”

Kazunari leaned against the seat of the bike, crossing his legs, and fished a coin out of his pocket. “I was thinking there might be a form of exercise you’d like more, today.” He tossed the coin lightly from hand to hand, smiling up at Shintarou. “What do you say, Shin-chan? Heads, you let me suck your fingers while I fuck you. Tails, I let you fuck me wherever and however you please.” The corners of his mouth curled a little higher as Shin-chan’s eyes widened behind his glasses. “How’s your fortune looking today?” he purred, and flipped the coin into the air for Shin-chan to call. Past the flash of metal, his partner’s eyes gleamed.

It was always the ones you wouldn’t expect.


Himuro Tatsuya was not expecting to hear his name called. He’d put his back against a nice, sturdy brick wall and was just keeping out of the way as the howling packs of shoppers swept past. But when someone called, “Tatsuya!”, he recognized the voice and looked up with a smile. A tilted smile, because he expected Taiga to give him a certain amount of hell for his current errand, but a smile.

“Hey.”

Taiga forged awkwardly through the crush, obviously still not used to how close people pressed. His clothes fit into the crowd down here well enough; the sneakers weren’t exactly stylish, but when you were built like Taiga a pair of jeans and a shirt thrown on over a tee were all you needed to make people look around for the photo-shoot. No one did, though, because Taiga was so completely unconscious and uncaring of how he looked in the middle of crowds bent on buying things to look prettier. He always had been, and Tatsuya had shaken his head over the fact for years. The only hint of fashion on Taiga, as far as he could see, was the necklace Taiga wore, no longer the chain and ring Tatsuya had gotten him but a leather cord. Even that probably wasn’t on purpose. He wondered, a little wryly, whether Taiga had just gotten that used to wearing something around his neck.

Taiga finally fetched up against the wall, a little breathless. “You didn’t say you’d be in town this weekend.”

“I didn’t know I was going to be until extremely early this morning,” Tatsuya said, dry. “Atsushi wanted to come buy some new kind of candy that’s being sold starting today.” He waved at one of the mammoth lines down the street, where one very tall figure could be seen looming over the competition. “First time I’ve ever seen him get up early.” He cocked his head up at Taiga. “So what are you in for?” He’d never known Taiga to willingly go out shopping for anything but groceries.

“New shoes.”

Tatsuya started at that quiet voice right at his elbow, and eyed Kuroko, who had appeared there. He was starting to suspect that Teikou’s old ‘invisible man’ got a kick out of doing that to people.

“At least this time I know they’ve actually got my size,” Taiga added, unsurprised. Maybe he’d gotten used to the jack-in-the-box act. “This time I ordered them ahead of time.”

Tatsuya could sympathize, especially after the coach put him in charge of ordering Atsushi’s supplies. No one stocked shoes that size. He’d finally resorted to online stores with direct shipping. Some of the other team members made jokes about baby-sitting, but Tatsuya didn’t actually mind. God knew Atsushi was pretty much at sea anywhere except a basketball court. Someone had to look after him.

Taiga had never needed looking after that way. Not really. He’d always had a solid core in him that held him steady. If it seemed weird for someone to be anchored by wild enthusiasm for life, well it had also been fun to be around. At least, it had been fun until he’d realized that Taiga didn’t need him. That Taiga had grown so much that he’d started trying to protect Tatsuya. That… that had been more than he could take.

That wasn’t something they could really talk about, though. It wasn’t something a person like Taiga would ever understand. So instead he laughed. “First time I’ve even seen you laying plans to get any kind of clothing, even for the game.” He added, teasing, “Though maybe you’re getting stylish in your old age.” He lifted a finger to flick at the cord necklace that had replaced his chain. Taiga rocked back from the gesture, almost a flinch, and a moment of remorse nipped at Tatsuya. There was no need to be cruel, just because Taiga had grown beyond him.

That wasn’t what stopped the gesture, though.

Tatsuya’s brows lifted as he looked down at Kuroko, who was abruptly standing between him and Taiga with an iron grip on Tatsuya’s wrist. “You have no right to touch that,” Kuroko said softly, every polite ending sharpened to a cutting edge.

“I think that’s Taiga’s to say, don’t you?” Tatsuya wasn’t going to stand for Kuroko trying to protect Taiga when Tatsuya couldn’t. It was ridiculous to imagine.

Kuroko’s gaze didn’t so much as flicker, and his voice was as hard as his grip. “This is mine to say. And you will keep your hands off it.” He nearly threw Tatsuya’s hand aside.

Tatsuya snorted. “Taiga, are you seriously going to tell me…” he trailed off, staring at Taiga. Taiga, who was watching Kuroko with suddenly wide eyes, whose hand lifted to touch that necklace lightly. Taiga who glanced briefly at him and then aside, color sneaking over his cheekbones.

“This is Tetsuya’s to say,” Taiga admitted.

For a long breath, Tatsuya’s brain flatly refused to put the pieces together, but they fit so very clearly that he couldn’t hold it off for long. That wasn’t just a necklace.

And if this was something Taiga wanted, then maybe… maybe they could have…

“Muro-chin?” Atsushi loomed out of the crowd, brightly colored candy bag already open in his hand. “And Kuro-chin.”

Tatsuya took a slow breath. No. Maybe if he’d known sooner, but it certainly wouldn’t work now. He had Atsushi to take care of, and judging by the narrow look Kuroko was still giving him he didn’t think Kuroko was the sharing type. “Well, good luck with those shoes, then,” he said, as easily as if nothing had happened. “I’d better get Atsushi back up to Akita before anyone misses us.”

“Probably wise, yes,” Kuroko murmured, and Tatsuya’s mouth quirked. Yeah, that was one possessive little bastard.

“We’ll see you at semi-finals, then,” Taiga added quietly, watching Tatsuya with shadowed eyes.

“Quit looking like that, Taiga,” Tatsuya told him easily. “It’ll be fun.” Probably more fun for Taiga than for him, but he was used to that. “Come on Atsushi, be thinking about what kind of station bento you want to get; if we miss another train because you couldn’t decide, I’m taking the cost of changing tickets out of your wallet.” He waved goodbye and led his teammate back out into the crush.

He was used to wanting things he couldn’t have. It was always best to just set it aside.

Result

Daiki pretty much took Tai’s apartment as an extra home, these days, so he didn’t bother knocking before breezing in the unlocked door. “Hey, guys, up for a…” he trailed off, startled. Tetsu and Tai were on the couch; well, Tetsu was a least. Tai was on his knees, head buried in Tetsu’s lap, holding on to Tetsu like the last branch in a flood. Tetsu had his fingers buried in Tai’s hair, stroking it slowly, while his other arm stayed wrapped around Tai’s shoulders. He looked up at Daiki, eyes serious but not dark, and beckoned Daiki closer with a tilt of his head.

Daiki came and knelt behind Tai, pressing close against his back, and wound his arms around Tai. “Hey,” he said again, quieter. Tai made an acknowledging sound, but didn’t move, and Daiki looked up at Tetsu, questioning. “What happened?”

True anger sparked in Tetsu’s eyes, though his hands stayed gentle, stroking Tai’s hair. “We ran into Himuro-san today. He took notice of Taiga’s collar.”

“He let go so easy; he lets everything go so easy,” Tai finally said, voice rough and muffled against Tetsu’s lap.

Daiki thought about that. “Well,” he said at last, “it’s a good thing you’re with Tetsu, then.”

Tai finally lifted his head to blink at Daiki over his shoulder. “…huh?”

“That went by a little fast.” Tetsu was smiling, though, and he set his other hand in Daiki’s hair.

“Well, think about it,” Daiki pointed out, leaning into Tetsu’s fingers with pleasure. “Tetsu doesn’t let anything go. I mean, I’m here aren’t I?”

Tai blinked a few more times and finally looked up at Tetsu. “Not anything?” His voice was still husky, but it was starting to sound like Tai again.

There was fire behind Tetsu’s calm smile, the fire that Daiki had always seen in him, always loved in him. “Not anything,” he confirmed with absolute certainty. “Not Daiki. Not you.” He trailed his fingers down Tai’s neck to rest on the leather cord of his collar. “Not ever.”

Tai took a slow, shaky breath and let it out. “Okay.”

Daiki could feel Tai relaxing, between them, and pulled him closer with a little smile buried in Tai’s wild red hair. That was better. It just didn’t feel right when Tai freaked out; he was the steady one.

Tetsu slid his fingers through their hair, slow and gentle. “I don’t let go of what’s mine,” he said softly, and Daiki made a satisfied sound against Tai’s shoulder. That was the way it should be. He brushed his lips over the cord of Tai’s collar and purred at the feel of Tai relaxing some more.

They were together in this, and that was enough.

End

Trust in the Palm of Your Hand

“So, I know how I got here,” Aomine remarked thoughtfully, shifting a little against the bed. “But how did Tetsu talk you into this?”

Taiga grumbled against his bare shoulder. “You pick the weirdest times for long, meaningful talks.”

Aomine flexed his arms a bit, where they were draped against the pillows over his head, emphasizing the soft cuffs around his wrists. “Got nothing better to do until Tetsu decides what he’s going to do with me.”

Tetsuya smiled a little and dropped a kiss on the soft skin of Aomine’s inner arm, sending a faint shiver through him. “You’re fine where you are.”

“So, there you go.” Aomine nudged Taiga with his hip. “What’s the story?”

Taiga sighed and wrapped himself a little more snugly around Aomine’s perfectly relaxed sprawl. “He didn’t talk me into it. It… just kind of happened. I guess, really, it’d been happening pretty much since we met.” After a moment’s though, he smiled against Aomine’s shoulder. “I think the first time I knew about it was after the Cup final last year. Tatsuya waited, after, to talk to me. And Tetsuya was waiting for me after that.”


Taiga stopped short on the steps of the Metropolitan Gymnasium, startled. It was late. Almost everyone who’d come to watch the Winter Cup finals was gone, including the teams who’d played. But Kuroko was still sitting on the steps, bundled in his coat. “What are you doing here?”

“Waiting for you.”

Taiga opened his mouth and closed it again. When Kuroko sounded that matter-of-fact there was no getting anything else out of him. “Fine, come on, then.” He stuffed his hands in his pockets and turned toward the subway station. Kuroko fell in quietly beside him. He didn’t say another word except ‘excuse me’ until they were on the train.

“Is it all right?” he asked, at last, low enough that the neighboring passengers three seats down wouldn’t hear.

“It’s… yeah, it’s… okay.” Taiga still wasn’t quite sure what to make of the things Tatsuya had said, the apology for being jealous, the scolding for ever holding back, the assurance they were friends. The insistence that he was not, now, and could not be any kind of role model or guide to Taiga. Taiga touched the ring he still wore, a tiny weight on its chain, remembering what might have been the line of a matching chain under the neck of Tatsuya’s sweater. Or might not.

“I see.” That was all Kuroko said, but when he shifted with the curve of the tracks, his arm pressed against Taiga’s and stayed there.

It helped. It settled Taiga, to know Kuroko was there, made the part of him that still felt raw and strained relax a little. It was… comforting.

And that was the first time that Taiga thought, all the way up in the front of his head, that he might be thinking of his partner as more than just his partner. Well. They were friends, of course. They did… friend things. Ate lunch together, studied together. Walked home together. Went for dinner together. Stayed out late and slept at each other’s houses. Called old friends up for loans of clothing…

Okay, maybe not just friend things, now he thought about it.

By the time they got to their own station, Taiga was wondering whether he was really a complete idiot, and whether he could excuse himself by Kuroko not having noticed either. Or had he? Taiga could read Kuroko’s game like book, by now, but other things were still harder to figure out. He studied Kuroko sidelong as they climbed the stairs to the street, until Kuroko glanced over and raised his brows questioningly, apparently perfectly at ease and not concerned in the least by having possibly acquired a boyfriend without noticing. Taiga shook his head vigorously to dislodge that thought, which just made Kuroko look amused.

“What is it?”

“Nothing.” Taiga held out for almost a block before he finally gave in and added, “Hey. Do you… I mean, are we… Um.”

Kuroko waited patiently.

Taiga raked a hand through his hair with an aggravated sound. Screw it. It wasn’t like the two of them used words all that much in the first place. He stopped on the sidewalk, in the shadow between street lights and reached out to touch Kuroko’s cheek. “Do you… ever think about this? For us?” he asked, low.

Kuroko’s eyes widened a little, and for a long moment Taiga had a sinking feeling that he’d just embarrassed himself. But then Kuroko’s lips turned up in a faint smile, and he lifted a hand to rest over Taiga’s, turning his head just a little into the touch. “You’ve been thinking a lot, tonight.”

Okay, so maybe Taiga had been the only completely oblivious one, fine, whatever. “I was just… thinking, yeah,” he finished a bit lamely.

That tiny smile was laughing at him. “I like Kagami-kun, too.”

Heat rushed to Taiga’s face and he tugged his hand away again. “You just come out and say things like that!” he complained.

Kuroko held him for a second. “How else are people going to know, if you don’t say?” He smiled a little wider when Taiga stilled, unable to argue with the justice of that one, and finally let him go.

They were quiet until they reached Taiga’s turn-off, and then he hesitated, looking down at Kuroko. “So. Um.”

Kuroko was laughing at him from behind that little smile again. “Come here, Kagami-kun.” He reached up to thread his fingers into Taiga’s hair, and Taiga, rather relieved, leaned down to a light kiss, just a brush of lips against each other. “Good night,” Kuroko murmured.

“Yeah,” Taiga answered, finding his voice just a bit husky. “See you tomorrow.”

There was an extra bit of warmth wrapped around the raw places inside him, as he walked the rest of the way home.


It didn’t take Taiga long to realize that that first kiss was part of a pattern. For someone whose strengths were strategy and timing, Kuroko was very aggressive. He was always the one who rested a hand on Taiga’s shoulder while they were changing for practice; the one who was suddenly watching Taiga thoughtfully in the showers; the one who pulled Taiga down to increasingly thorough kisses when they met or parted by the park court at night. Even when he was completely wrapped up in Taiga’s arms, head tipped back to meet his mouth, it was Kuroko who was setting their pace.

Eventually it got obvious enough for Taiga to say something, one night they’d stayed so late practicing that even the captain had given up and gone ahead, and told them to just turn off all the lights behind them. Kuroko came to him while Taiga was sitting on the bench to tie his shoes and stepped lightly between Taiga’s knees, sliding his fingers into Taiga’s hair to tip his head back for a kiss. The slow, soft force of it made Taiga’s breath catch, and he looked up at Kuroko after, hands linked behind his legs. “You seem different, when we’re like this.”

Kuroko cocked his head, fingers still running through Taiga’s hair. “I don’t think it’s that different,” he said thoughtfully.

Taiga shook his head a little. “You’re a lot more… well, I can’t say more forceful.” This being the same guy who had slugged Taiga one to get his head back in the game. “Just… you lead a lot more, like this. Well," honesty forced him to add, "a lot more openly anyway.”

“Do you mind it?” Kuroko asked after a long, quiet moment, eyes steady on Taiga. Taiga blinked.

“I… don’t exactly mind it, no. It was just kind of noticeable.”

Kuroko sighed and leaned against him, arms sliding around Taiga’s shoulders and resting there. “I think this is something I need,” he said softly against Taiga’s hair. “To lead, like you say.”

Taiga was quiet himself for a moment, wondering. “Why?” he finally asked, resting his forehead against Kuroko’s chest. “I mean… yeah, you’re the one who leads already in a lot of ways. You’re the one who kept me away from whatever the hell hole it was that Aomine fell down. You’re the one who doesn’t quit. But we’ve always been partners. Part of why I needed to be stronger was so you could rely on me, back.”

“I’ve always relied on you,” Kuroko said, very softly. “You’re why I could stand on my own, and find my own game. But I’m still me; I play with people, not alone, it’s what I do. That’s why I need to know you trust me, even more like this than when we’re on the court. I need to know you trust me completely.”

Taiga went still at that. “Completely?” he echoed, cautiously. Kuroko laughed a little against his hair, fingers stroking through it again.

“Completely,” he agreed. “You’re my partner. You trust me. I trust you. That’s how we play the way we do, and I love that, but this is more personal.” There was still that touch of rueful amusement hovering in his voice. “For one thing, there aren’t any other teammates or opponents; just us. So it’s more intense. Can you trust me that much, Kagami-kun?” He pulled away from Taiga gently, until only his hands were still resting on Taiga’s shoulders. “Or should we just stay partners?”

The jolt of protest in Taiga’s gut answered part of that question for him right away, but he still hesitated. He knew Kuroko pretty well, at least he’d thought he did, but there were ways ‘complete trust’ could go in a personal relationship that he really wasn’t into. “What do you want me to trust you to do?”

Kuroko’s hands were back in his hair, gentle and soothing. “Nothing that would hurt you. Nothing you don’t want. Just… to lead you.”

Taiga looked up at him, leaning into Kuroko’s hands without even thinking, but still hesitating. The last person he had trusted to lead him… He touched the chain around his neck and took a breath. “Let me take it slow,” he said quietly, meeting Kuroko’s eyes. “The last time I trusted someone like that… didn’t end real well.”

A spark of rare anger lit in Kuroko’s eyes and he stepped close again, arms closing around Taiga’s shoulders. “I’m not Himuro-san. We’re partners. Whether you can do this or not, that won’t change.” His hands drew Taiga’s head back and Kuroko kissed him again, deep and possessive. It made something hot flare down Taiga’s veins, feeling the fierceness in Kuroko’s mouth on his, in the arms wrapped around him, supporting him. When Kuroko finally drew back, he said, softly, “Go as slowly as you need.”

The perfectly earnest words, set against that fierce kiss, made Taiga laugh, wrap his arms tight around Kuroko and laugh himself breathless. “Yeah,” he said at last. “Yeah, let’s try it.”

The pleasure lighting up Kuroko’s face, when Taiga looked up, made the warmth in Taiga’s chest settle in deeper.


There was, Taiga learned, a particular way Kuroko touched him, when he wanted to have control. It was slower, more deliberate than their casual touches, a flex of fingers that let Taiga feel some of Kuroko’s strength of grip. Never bruising, but very… definite. When Kuroko touched him like that, hand sliding down Taiga’s neck or up his arm, he wanted Taiga to give way to him, to let himself be directed. Taiga found he didn’t mind.

Actually, it was pretty damn hot.

Which was why he was currently stretched out naked across his bed with Kuroko kneeling between his legs, watching him intently while he fondled Taiga’s cock until Taiga was panting for breath, hands clenched in the pillows over his head.

He was harder than he thought he’d ever been in his life.

It wasn’t just Kuroko’s hand on his cock. It also wasn’t just that he was spread out wide for Kuroko to handle. It was the way Kuroko was watching him, so closely, so carefully. Every time some particular stroke of his fingers drove a gasp out of Taiga, he noticed and did it again. Every time Taiga’s body started to pull taut, Kuroko’s grip softened, easing him back down a little. Kuroko was paying attention to him the way Taiga had only ever felt in the middle of an especially intense game, when Kuroko’s awareness of the team, and of Taiga in particular, started to seem like magic. The attention felt like being fondled inside. Kuroko ran his thumb up the underside of Taiga’s cock, slow and firm, and Taiga bucked up, gasping.

“Kuroko!”

His partner smiled faintly. “Under the circumstances,” he rubbed his thumb gently over Taiga’s head, illustrative, “I think you can call me by my given name.”

“I…” Taiga wasn’t a formal kind of guy, not nearly as much as Kuroko, who was still calling him ‘Kagami-kun’ for god’s sake. But he hadn’t wanted to use Kuroko’s name. It was too close to Tatsuya’s name, and wouldn’t that feel weird? Kuroko’s other hand slid up his thigh to fondle his balls gently, and Taiga shuddered, hands clenching tighter in his pillow as the name was nearly pulled out of him. “Tetsuya!”

And it wasn’t weird. He wasn’t thinking of Himuro, of anything at all that wasn’t his partner’s eyes and hands on him, sure and intent and melting his brain out his ears. His partner, smiling and pleased and scraping the edge of his nail very delicately behind Taiga’s balls. “Fuck, Tetsuya!” Taiga came undone all at once, bucking wildly against the bed while heat wrung him like a rag, over and over. Tetsuya’s hands stroked him firmly through it, until Taiga dropped back against the twisted up sheets, panting and dazed.

Tetsuya leaned over him and kissed his forehead softly. “Taiga.” The simple sound of his name sent another shudder through Taiga. It sounded intimate. It sounded like Tetsuya laying a claim on him.

“How the hell do you do that?” he asked, husky, finally unclenching one hand to reach up and run it through Tetsuya’s soft, rumpled hair. “It’s like you put a mark on me just by looking at me, when we’re in bed. It almost feels like we’re on the court, only…” he snorted with some amusement, waving a hand at their current naked, sweaty, sticky condition, “different.”

Tetsuya settled on one elbow beside him, resting a hand on his chest. “It’s similar, I suppose,” he agreed quietly. “I… reach out to know who I’m playing with and against. To find you, especially. I suppose it’s a mental trick a little like Izuki-senpai’s, but for me it’s all about who’s paying attention to who, who’s looking where, where each player’s body says they’re going to turn next. So I can move behind or around the thing they’ll be looking at.” He was silent for a long, thoughtful moment, stroking Taiga’s chest slowly. “It’s a mental trick, but… how you respond matters too. If know you trust me, if you reach back to me, it’s easier to find you. Easier to keep holding you as the game moves. And you’re easier to hold than anyone else. I like that.” He leaned down and kissed Taiga, slow and deep and so rawly possessive Taiga’s breath caught in his chest. “I want to hold you this way, too.”

“Tetsuya…” Taiga reached up and wound his arms around Tetsuya, pulling him down and wrapping himself around his partner. Tetsuya let him, relaxed against him in a way that made Taiga have to swallow hard. It wasn’t one-sided trust he was giving Tetsuya. He closed his eyes and took a slow breath. “I trust you,” he said softly. “Completely. Whatever you want to do.”

And if that thought made heat tingle along his nerves again… well, that was nobody’s business but his. And Tetsuya’s.

The pleased sound Tetsuya made put a little curl of anticipation down Taiga’s spine, and he smiled up at the ceiling.


Sometimes, Taiga wondered exactly how he’d gotten himself into his current situation. And then, sometimes, he remembered it was Tetsuya and didn’t actually have to wonder.

“So what is this idea you said you had?” he asked Tetsuya, wrapping his arms comfortably around him as Tetsuya slid down to straddle his lap on Taiga’s tiny couch, forearms resting over Taiga’s shoulders. “And, incidentally, that was a really evil thing to say to me right before practice.”

Tetsuya’s smile was tiny and secretive. “Was it?” The smile widened when Taiga growled, and he slid his fingers into Taiga’s hair, pulling his head back so Tetsuya could nip delicately down his throat. Between quick, soft bites, he explained, “I want to tease you for a while, tonight.”

Eyes half closed, breath hitching with each sharp little nip, Taiga managed, “Tease me how?” He shivered as Tetsuya’s tongue stroked up the line of bites, wondering if there were going to be marks there later. Tetsuya had only marked him once before, but it had been very distracting having the whole team stare at his neck during practice. Distracting and arousing, to know he was walking around with the mark of Tetsuya’s mouth on his skin, which might have been the point. That had been the day Tetsuya had jerked him off in the shower, eyes heavy and hot on him as they listened to the rest of the team’s horseplay over drying off, just across the hall. Taiga shivered, remembering, and tipped his head back further.

Tetsuya drew back and ran his hands down Taiga’s neck and over his chest, slow and firm. “I want you to watch me. And not do anything else, until I say you can.”

Taiga’s face turned rather hot. “Watch you?”

That tiny planning-something smile flickered over Tetsuya’s face again. “Yes.”

Tetsuya obviously had something in mind, which… actually did more to convince Taiga than anything else. Tetsuya was the strategist, after all. He laced his fingers with Tetsuya’s. “Okay.”

Tetsuya looked pleased and pushed up off the couch, tugging Taiga with him toward the bedroom. “Come here, then.”

It was a little weird, Taiga thought as he followed along, how much this felt like their partnership on the court. On the face of it, the two were totally different. On the court, they both made their own choices, for all they watched each other and worked together. Here, he gave the choices to Tetsuya, let Tetsuya’s word be the one that moved him or held him still. And yet… maybe Tetsuya was right, and it really all came down to trust, for the two of them. He trusted Tetsuya to play his own strengths, on the court, and to choose well for the team. Here, undressing at Tetsuya’s soft prompting, lying back against the head of his bed as Tetsuya’s hands urged him down, here he trusted Tetsuya to be with him all the way, and to choose well for the two of them. He trusted Tetsuya to hold him, even closer than he did on the court, and the feeling of being held like this was hot and secure. And that was something he wanted.

He watched as Tetsuya undressed and folded his clothes neatly on Taiga’s desk. It was easy to overlook, on a high-powered sports team, but Tetsuya was solidly built. Compact, yes, but leanly muscled, and those muscles sharply defined. The flex of them as Tetsuya slid up onto the bed and knelt there, facing Taiga, held his gaze.

And then Tetsuya reached down and wrapped a hand around his own cock, and Taiga had to swallow. He hadn’t really thought it would do much for him, just to watch, but… the slow, deliberate stroke of Tetsuya’s fingers up and down his cock, coaxing himself harder, made him think about that hand on him.

Tetsuya smiled and closed his eyes. “Taiga,” he said softly. He slid a thumb up to circle over his head, and his breath pulled in, and he tipped his head back a little. “Taiga…”

A husky sound caught in Taiga’s own throat. Tetsuya sounded… he sounded like it was Taiga who was touching him. When Tetsuya moaned, faint and breathless, it sent something hot through Taiga’s chest and down into his guts. He didn’t think he could have looked away from Tetsuya’s hand working over himself, from the way Tetsuya spread his knees wider against the bed, if he’d tried. Without thinking, he started to press one hand between his own legs.

“I didn’t say you could move.” The words caught Taiga like a hand on his wrist, and he swallowed and curled his fingers in the rumpled sheets under him. Tetsuya smiled, slow and clear, head still tipped back. “That’s good.”

Taiga was breathing faster himself, now, flushed from watching the way Tetsuya touched himself, listening to the sounds he made, all the while pinned down by Tetsuya’s order to stay still. The stillness made the rest of it twice as hot.

There was something wicked at the corners of Tetsuya’s smile, now, and he rocked forward to take Taiga’s little bottle of lube from where it lived tucked against the blinds on the window ledge above his bed. Taiga was prepared for Tetsuya to squeeze some into his palm, for the sheen of it as Tetsuya stroked a hand down his cock. What shocked him, and sent a jolt of blinding heat through him, was seeing Tetsuya turn one shoulder to him, seeing him slide slick fingers down behind himself to press between his cheeks. “Tetsuya,” he gasped, hoarse.

“Mmm. Taiga.” Tetsuya’s wrist flexed, pushing a finger into himself, and a flush climbed up his throat. He drew a slow breath, fingers sliding back and forth over his cock, and murmured, “Be still.”

Taiga thought he could almost feel the grip of Tetsuya’s will on him, like another hand, and he shivered under it. When Tetsuya pressed another finger into himself, a little moan tugged free from Taiga. “Tetsuya…”

“Shhh.” Tetsuya’s voice was gentle, even as his body pulled taut between his own hands. “Watch, Taiga. Think about it being your hands, here.”

He pressed in another finger, slow and careful, and Taiga swallowed hard. His cock was standing hard and flushed against his stomach, now, and his clenched fingers were about to put holes through his sheets. “Tetsuya… please.” Just saying it put another shiver through him. He’d never begged for anything in bed, never been pushed far enough that he wanted to. He hadn’t expected how hot it would be to beg Tetsuya, and trust that Tetsuya would allow what he needed.

Tetsuya finally looked over at him, eyes bright and hot. “Yes. I think we’re both ready.” He drew his hands back slowly, a husky little sound catching his his throat as he slid his fingers free, and Taiga nearly moaned.

“God, yes Tetsuya, please…” He reached out as Tetsuya slid up the bed to him, and relief made him dizzy when Tetsuya let him, let Taiga gather him close and hold him tight. When Tetsuya’s fingers wrapped around his cock, still slick, and slid down him, Taiga shuddered. When Tetsuya shifted up on his knees and pressed Taiga’s cock against his ass, slowly sinking down onto him, Taiga couldn’t do anything but cling to Tetsuya’s hips and pant for breath. Leaning back against the headboard like this, with Tetsuya’s weight over him, he couldn’t push up much; how fast or slow that brain-melting tightness closed around him was up to Tetsuya.

He almost came just from realizing that.

Tetsuya was panting against his shoulder as he settled all the way down, and when he said Taiga’s name the breathless note in his voice made Taiga close his eyes. He wanted so many things. He wanted to let go and just feel Tetsuya ride him. He wanted to wrap himself around Tetsuya and fuck him. He wanted to hear more breathless sounds like that, because he was inside Tetsuya. “Tetsuya,” he managed, low, “some time… let me do this. Please.”

Tetsuya leaned in, making Taiga gasp with the shift of muscles around him, and kissed him soft and open. “Some time, yes,” he promised, and there was a glint in his eyes. “But not tonight.”

Taiga moaned out loud with that combined promise and denial as Tetsuya rocked up and back down, and he gave himself up to whatever Tetsuya chose for them. “Yes.”

“Mmm. Yes.” Tetsuya smiled and did it again, slower, more deliberate, grinding down onto Taiga. Pleasure climbed up Taiga’s spine, twist after twist of it as Tetsuya moved over him, hands braced on Taiga’s shoulders. Half of it was the pure rush of sensation every time Tetsuya’s body shifted, but half of it was something else completely. Something that wrung out parts of him that weren’t his body, left him warm and shaking—the knowledge that Tetsuya wanted him this much, this way.

When it all spilled over, he just let it, let Tetsuya have him however Tetsuya wanted him.

Tetsuya gasped as Taiga bucked up under him, one hand sliding down to wrap around his cock again. And just when the rush of heat was easing, his body tightened hard around Taiga and raked another wave of pleasure through him.

They leaned against each other for a while, after. “Thank you,” Tetsuya finally said, straightening up a little to look down at Taiga, touching his cheek lightly. Taiga caught his hand and turned to press his mouth to Tetsuya’s fingers.

“What for? Isn’t this what I agreed to?” To let Tetsuya lead him when they were together like this.

Tetsuya smiled softly. “Yes.” He traced Taiga’s lips with his fingertips. “That’s why I’m saying thank you.”

Taiga looked aside and finally said, low, “It’s what I want, too.”

Tetsuya’s kiss caught him by surprise, hot and sudden and ruthless enough to make him gasp for breath. “Then even more,” Tetsuya murmured. “Thank you.”

“Yeah. Okay,” Taiga whispered back and they stayed where they were for a while longer, wrapped around each other quietly.


Most of life went on the way it always had. There were classes, which were still half incomprehensible but only half, which was an improvement; there was practice, which was satisfyingly grueling; there was shopping for groceries and cooking for himself, and increasingly cooking enough that he’d still get a full meal when his senpai begged or snitched bits of his dinner; there was fielding occasional visits from Aomine, when he got too fed up with his new captain’s hovering watchfulness and skipped to visit Seirin, just to show he could.

But now there was also this. There was lying on Tetsuya’s bed, draped over a pile of pillows that raised his hips high enough in the air to make him blush, feeling Tetsuya’s hands kneading slowly down his back and over his ass. “Tetsuya…”

“Shh.” Tetsuya’s thumbs spread his cheeks open slow and firm, wide enough to make him gasp for lost breath at how exposed he felt. “It’s all right.”

Just the fact that Tetsuya was telling him, not asking, put a complex little shiver down his spine. It felt good, good to relax and trust that Tetsuya had things in hand; but there was always that adrenaline-edge of letting someone else say what would happen. Especially when what was happening was Tetsuya’s fingers rubbing against him, slick with lube, making slow, hard circles against the muscles of his ass until he felt warm and relaxed back there.

“That’s better,” Tetsuya said softly, dropping a kiss at the small of his back. “I’ll make sure it doesn’t hurt, Taiga. That’s why I wanted to go first, after all.”

And there it was, the care that Tetsuya took that undid him every time. Taiga closed his eyes and took a slow breath as Tetsuya’s fingers pressed into him. It felt good—completely unfamiliar, but every bit like Tetsuya touching him always felt, slow and intimate and sure. “Tetsuya…” He could hear how husky his own voice was.

“Be still,” Tetsuya told him, gentle and firm. “Just feel.” He slid his other hand down Taiga’s back, kneading those muscles loose too as he worked his fingers in and out of Taiga’s ass until he was panting, breath catching every time the press of Tetsuya’s knuckles stretched him a little more open. That was what he felt most, right now, spread ass-up over Tetsuya’s pillows with his muscles going lax—so very open for Tetsuya. Open, and sure he’d be taken care of.

His own protective streak nagged at him, sometimes, to take care of Tetsuya instead. But… he did a lot of that. It was good to turn it around, to have someone else do it for him. And Tetsuya had been doing it from the first match they played in together. Tetsuya was good at it.

He trusted himself in Tetsuya’s hands.

Those hands shifted on him, strong fingers twisting slowly inside him, and Taiga’s thoughts unraveled again in the wash of sensation down his nerves. Tetsuya’s fingertips rubbed slowly inside him, and he moaned with the surge of pleasure that answered.

“Mm. That sounds good,” Tetsuya murmured to him, free hand stroking Taiga’s ass.

“Tetsuya…” A shudder stroked down Taiga’s spine as Tetsuya’s fingers slid free.

“Be still, Taiga,” Tetsuya said again, low and soothing. His hands closed on Taiga’s hips, and there was a blunt pressure against Taiga’s entrance that made him hot with anticipation.

“Yes, Tetsuya,” he said, husky, lying still and lax in Tetsuya’s hands, waiting. Tetsuya pushed harder against him and Taiga’s hands closed on the sheets, tight with the breathless pressure of Tetsuya’s cock pushing slowly, slowly into him. He gasped at the sudden easing and the slide of Tetsuya inside him, thick and hard, holding him stretched open. “God…”

Tetsuya’s voice was breathless, too, as he leaned against Taiga, holding still. “Relax, Taiga; relax for me.”

“I…” Taiga’s breath shuddered in his chest. “I… yes…” He let the sheets go and let his breath go and nearly moaned with how it felt as his body eased more around the hardness of Tetsuya’s cock. “Fuck…”

A soft, husky laugh answered him. “Yes. But slowly.”

Taiga moaned openly as Tetsuya slid a little back and in again, a little further, and in again, slow and easy. The sensation stroked down his nerves, soft and intense. “Yes, Tetsuya,” he whispered. Slow was just fine, yeah.

He’d always had a good opinion of Tetsuya’s control, but it was getting better now as Tetsuya fucked him slow and sure. Tetsuya’s hands worked gently over Taiga’s back, easing him into the pleasure that was rising through him like a tide coming in. He trusted that control now, like he’d trusted it for almost a year, and let Tetsuya’s hands guide him. He moaned against the sheets with the heat of Tetsuya’s cock working in and out of him—did as Tetsuya said and just felt the heat curling tighter and tighter inside him. When Tetsuya’s hand slid under his hip to wrap around his cock and stroke him firmly, he gasped and bucked, taken by surprise by the fresh twist of pleasure. “Tetsuya!”

Tetsuya’s fingers tightened, and there was a smile in his voice. “Just feel, Taiga.”

He couldn’t do anything else, spread out like this with no leverage, and he shuddered as Tetsuya shifted over him, fucking him harder, hand working around him slow and demanding. It was so good, Tetsuya had made it so good for him, and he surrendered to Tetsuya’s control, moaning as Tetsuya drove him higher and higher, and finally drove him right over the edge. Pleasure raked down his nerves and wrung him out around the hardness of Tetsuya’s cock. The way Tetsuya gasped and pushed deeper sent an extra shudder through him.

When he finally came back down, muscles limp, throat dry from panting for breath, Tetsuya was leaning against him. His hands stroked over Taiga’s back and shoulders gently, carefully, and a soft sound caught in Taiga’s throat. This. This was why he gave himself to Tetsuya, gave Tetsuya control—so that he could feel this care. So he could do nothing but feel it, just like Tetsuya said.

He’d believed for a long time that his partner knew what he needed, after all.

So he lay quiet and let Tetsuya clean them up, let Tetsuya ease him down to the bed and wrapped his arms around Tetsuya, and bent his head under the gentle slide of Tetsuya’s fingers through his hair.

He trusted Tetsuya’s choices.


Taiga knew perfectly well why Aomine had started descending on Seirin after practice was officially over. He wasn’t actually complaining, either; he loved the fast, wild matches they played, one-on-one with each other. That did not, of course, stop him from calling Aomine a needy bastard or asking whether Touou was boring him, just like it didn’t stop Aomine from calling him a one-trick jumping idiot. That was just the kind of relationship they had.

Besides, it made Tetsuya look like he wanted to laugh at them.

Aomine waved casually over his shoulder as he turned toward the station, and Taiga stood with Tetsuya for a minute, watching him go. At least, Tetsuya watched him go, and Taiga watched Tetsuya, and the wistful look in his partner’s eyes. “You guys okay, these days?” he finally asked, quietly.

Tetsuya turned back, beside him, and started on their way home. “Better than we have been in a long time.”

That wasn’t exactly a yes, but Taiga knew things were a little complicated between Tetsuya and his old partner.

“He’s better, now he has people he has to work against,” Tetsuya added, eyes distant under the slow shift of the streetlights as they walked. “You. Kise-kun. I always knew that was important to him, to have someone to push him. Sometimes I wonder…”

“What?” Taiga asked, as the silence drew out.

Tetsuya still hesitated. “I’ll tell you later,” he finally said.

“Sure,” Taiga agreed easily, making a mental note to ask, if ‘later’ took too long. Sometimes, Tetsuya got a little too quiet about things that bugged him. “Oh, hey, food.” The lights of the convenience store down from the park called to him, reminding him that he hadn’t had his evening snack yet.

Tetsuya’s eyes were laughing again as he followed along, and Taiga nodded to himself with satisfaction. Whatever Tetsuya was thinking about, whatever ‘later’ involved, it didn’t look like it could be too serious.

‘Later’ arrived the next evening, just when Taiga was considering bringing it up again. They’d ended up at Tetsuya’s house after practice, ears still ringing with the coach’s orders to study for the year end exams. Taiga studied infuriatingly complex kanji for as long as he could stand before he gave up and stalked downstairs to get them both drinks just so he could move something besides his pencil. When he got back, Tetsuya smiled at him from where he sat on the edge of his bed, and held out his hands. “Leave those for a second and come here, Taiga.”

Taiga set the two cans on the desk and came to him, curious. Tetsuya never called him by his given name unless they were both alone and intimate. He hadn’t expected that so soon, tonight. Tetsuya caught his hands and tugged Taiga down until he was kneeling between Tetsuya’s legs, close enough to wrap his arms around Tetsuya. Which, of course, he did. “What is it?”

“What I was thinking about, yesterday…” Tetsuya ran his fingers slowly through Taiga’s hair, eyes searching his face. “I was wondering whether I should have held Aomine-kun tighter; whether that would have been what he needed.” His hand drifted down to touch Taiga’s cheek. “You make him feel normal again. I was wondering what I might be able to do for him, now.”

“It’s already you who did that.” Taiga looked down, trying to put what he saw between them into words. “You’re the one who knew what he needed, along with what you needed, and didn’t stop until you got it.” A corner of his mouth curled up. “Or after.”

“And you were the one who believed I could,” Tetsuya said softly, arms sliding around Taiga’s shoulders. “It all connects.”

True enough, but weren’t they getting off topic? They’d started with Tetsuya saying he’d been thinking about holding Aomine tighter. Like he held Taiga now, Taiga supposed. And then he went very still, staring past Tetsuya’s shoulder as those thoughts settled together.

All connected.

“You want to hold him, too,” he said, low. “Like this. Hold him like this now.”

Tetsuya gathered him closer. “Not if it will upset you,” he said firmly. “Not if you don’t want him to be with us like this.”

With us. All connected. And Tetsuya had said Taiga was the one who made Aomine feel normal. Slowly, Taiga leaned against Tetsuya, wrapping himself tighter around him. “You really think it could work?” he asked against Tetsuya’s shoulder. “Aomine’s pretty possessive of you whenever he gets the chance.” Of course, all the damn Miracle-types were possessive of Tetsuya, but Aomine was the one who still showed it, even after getting his ass kicked by Seirin.

Tetsuya’s hand slid gently up his back and closed hard on his nape, holding him in a grip like steel. “Possessing me isn’t a choice I would give him.”

Taiga made a breathless sound, head bent against Tetsuya’s shoulder, reminded of exactly what kind of relationship they were talking about and very hard from the reminder. “Yeah… okay.” He’d been thinking something else, too, before Tetsuya turned his brain to mush… ah, right. “You think Aomine will want this that much?”

Tetsuya’s hold gentled, stroking Taiga’s nape until he shivered, head still bowed. “Aomine-kun always kept going until someone stopped him. Sometimes that person was Momoi-san, but the longer we worked as partners the more it was me. When he said we didn’t agree on anything but basketball, it was because he always pushed until I told him to stop. And then he did, at least until he lost faith in the game and I couldn’t make him stay serious. Or, at least, I didn’t. I think I just didn’t go as far as he needed me to, to make him.”

Taiga thought about the kind of partner Tetsuya had been to him, right from the start. Demanding and fearless and very strict about Taiga’s attitude toward their team and the game. He remembered Tetsuya clotheslining him repeatedly, with a perfectly immoveable look each time that said he refused to let his partner screw himself up. And he laughed against Tetsuya’s neck. “I don’t think that will be a problem any more.”

He could feel how Tetsuya’s lips were curved when Tetsuya dropped a kiss under his ear. “I don’t think so either.”

Taiga was quiet for a moment, thinking about Aomine, his most annoying and brilliant rival, his partner’s ex-partner, the one whose edge made his fists itch sometimes. The one who always came back to him, as well as to Tetsuya. “Yeah,” he finally said, quietly. “Yeah, let’s try.”

The way Tetsuya’s arms tightened around him made him smile and hold Tetsuya closer.


“…and that got us here.” Taiga paused and poked Aomine lightly in the ribs. “And why do you want to know so much, anyway?”

Aomine squirmed away until Tetsuya, laughing, rested more weight over him. “Hey, you were right here for it when Tetsu caught me, and you got to see the whole thing. Fair is fair.”

Taiga thought about the things Tetsuya had said to him, about Aomine, and snorted. “I think Tetsuya caught you a long time before that. He just didn’t make you know it until now.”

Aomine stilled at that, eyes turning dark and heated as he looked up at Tetsuya. “Yeah, I guess he did.”

Tetsuya stroked Aomine’s hair back, smiling faintly. “I didn’t realize myself until you,” he told Taiga. “But… yes. Maybe so.” He looked down at Aomine, fingers tracing down his jaw as Tetsuya tipped Aomine’s head back and nipped lightly at his throat. “Maybe things would have been different, if I’d known sooner.”

“Some things,” Aomine said, soft and husky with the arch of his neck. “But some I think we’d still have needed Tai for.”

Taiga found himself caught between sputtering over the nickname and turning red over Aomine, of all people, actually admitting that. And then he found himself just plain caught by the brightness in Tetsuya’s eyes as he reached over to touch Taiga’s cheek.

“Yes,” Tetsuya agreed, eyes holding Taiga’s. “We would.”

Taiga gave way to that perfect assurance and turned his head into Tetsuya’s hand, pressing his mouth to Tetsuya’s palm. “Guess things turned out pretty well, then,” he said, glancing down at Aomine’s—at Daiki’s—smirk, and watching how the edge of it softened.

“So there’s that taken care of,” Daiki murmured, slanting a sidelong look at Tetsuya, deliberately provoking. “Now. Thought of anything interesting to do with me, yet?”

Tetsuya had the gleam in his eye that always made Taiga look for something to hold on to. “Maybe I have.” He stroked a hand up Daiki’s arm to finger the cuffs, and slowly, deliberately, unsnapped them. Daiki’s brows rose. “Taiga,” Tetsuya said, quiet and firm, not looking away from Daiki, “hold Daiki down for me.”

Taiga nearly moaned with a completely unexpected rush of heat, and he could see the way Daiki flushed, eyes widening. “Yes, Tetsuya.” He could feel the tension in Daiki’s arms as Taiga ran his hands up to grip his wrists and pin him down, the way Daiki never let himself be pinned on the court, the way Tetsuya demanded he submit to now. Daiki’s eyes were already a little glazed.

“Kagami,” Daiki breathed. “Tai…”

Taiga smiled wryly, a little breathless himself. “Only what Tetsuya allows, right?”

“Fuck,” Daiki moaned as Tetsuya held his hips against the bed and leaned down to lap at his cock, light and teasing. “Yes.”

Taiga leaned on Daiki’s arms, holding him for Tetsuya to drive half out of his mind, and thought that he’d never been more right than he had been when he gave Tetsuya his trust. Tetsuya had seen how they fit together, how they could all have a place with each other, and Taiga didn’t think this was a place he would outgrow. So maybe this was someplace he could stay.

When he leaned down and kissed Daiki, soft and questioning, Daiki kissed back.

End

Reach Out and Touch Yourself

Daiki had thought it might be weird, the first time he played Kagami and Tetsu in a tournament match after the three of them started sleeping together. More precisely, after he’d started taking orders from Tetsu, in bed. Would it spill over? Would any of them hesitate? Would Tetsu look at him the way he did when he had Daiki down on the bed and begging?

It had taken a few turns around the arena in the cool spring air before Daiki had been able to get his mind back where it belonged, after starting to think that, but that just made his point.

And when Touou and Seirin met on the court, when he and Tetsu and Kagami all looked at each other under the bright overhead floodlights, Tetsu had given them an order. But that order was, “No holding back. We all play with everything we have.”

Kagami and Daiki had bared their teeth at each other. “Obviously,” Daiki purred, feeling exhilaration rise, light in his chest.

And they’d hammered at each other, on the court, clawing tooth and nail for the ball, even fiercer than they’d played when they’d met in the Cup last year. It was Touou who won this time, and Daiki still felt drunk on the wild glee of it, hours later, and who cared if it was just a preliminary match?

It was Tetsu who’d brought that feeling back to him, and maybe that was why he found his fingers wandering toward his phone as he sprawled on his bed that evening, tapping up Tetsu’s number.

“Are you calling to gloat?” Tetsu asked, when he answered, but he sounded amused.

Daiki laughed. “Well, I could if you want.”

He could almost hear Tetsu rolling his eyes.

“But no. I called…” he hesitated for a long moment, but finally let the words flow. “I called to thank you. I didn’t, last year.”

“I didn’t expect you to,” Tetsu said gently. “You’d just lost.”

“I’d just woken up,” Daiki corrected, staring up at the slightly warped plaster of his ceiling. “I knew I should thank you for that, even then. And now…” He rolled over with a bounce and leaned on his elbows, unable to be still. “Now it’s so incredible! We won, and it feels so good again, Tetsu!”

“I knew there would be gloating,” Tetsu teased, deadpan, but he relented when Daiki growled. “I’m glad for you. That was what I wanted for you, again.”

“I have it.” Daiki softened, stretching out on one side, phone against his ear. “So thank you. I’d forgotten how amazing it feels.”

And maybe his voice had gotten a little husky, and maybe it wasn’t a surprise when Tetsu’s voice lowered too, and turned level and intent. “How does it feel, Aomine-kun?”

Just that tone was enough to put a shiver through him, these days, and Daiki swallowed to hear it. “Really good, Tetsu,” he murmured. “Like I’m flying.”

“Do you want more?”

Anticipation tightened his body, flicking his nerves with heat. “Yes, Tetsu,” he said, husky, “please.”

“Take off your clothes and set your phone on speaker,” Tetsu ordered softly, “and tell me when you have.”

It only took a few seconds to strip off the shirt and shorts he wore around the house, and Daiki lay back down, hypersensitive to the cool folds of the sheets and blankets under him, the brush of air over his skin. He switched his phone over to speaker and laid it by his head. “I have.”

“Good. Then wrap your hand around your cock and stroke yourself. Slowly.”

Daiki did as he was told, breath catching at the warmth of his own fingers wrapped around him. A shudder ran through him at the slow drag of his palm over his cock. “Tetsu…”

“Slowly, Daiki.” The firm command, and the intimacy of his given name, pulled a soft whine out of him as heat shot up his spine in response.

“Yes, Tetsu,” he whispered, closing his eyes and stroking the hard length of his cock slowly, teeth set in his lower lip.

“Good,” Tetsu praised him gently, and Daiki nearly whimpered. Every now and then he remembered that this was crazy, that he had no actual idea why giving himself up to Tetsu felt so good, but the thought always drowned in the sweetness of Tetsu’s approval, the heat of his control. “You’re getting close, aren’t you?” Tetsu asked. “I can hear it in how you breathe.”

“Yes…” Daiki was panting for breath all right, taut with the effort of not rocking up into his own hand. He buried his other hand in the softness of his pillow, fingers working around it.

“Not yet.” It wasn’t even an order, more a statement of fact, and Daiki moaned. “Hold yourself, Daiki,” Tetsu told him. “Just hold your cock and rub your thumb over your head. Slowly.”

This time, Daiki definitely whimpered, shuddering with the licks of pleasure snapping through him, not quite enough to bring him off. “Tetsu, please…” He circled his thumb over the head of his cock, gasping at the hot ripple of sensation.

“Put two fingers of your other hand in your mouth.” There was a smile in Tetsu’s voice, the slow intent smile he got when one of his lovers started begging. “Suck on them like they were mine.”

Daiki sucked two fingers down, light-headed with want, with anticipation, with the heat of being held back by Tetsu’s voice alone. The sensation of his tongue around his own fingers braided together with the sensation of his fingers around his own cock until he was moaning softly.

“Very good,” Tetsu told him voice turning gentle again, even tender. “I’m going to use your fingers to fuck you, Daiki. Push them deep into your ass.”

Daiki moaned out loud, reaching under himself to do as Tetsu said. The stretch of his fingers made his hand tighten on his cock, and his hips bucked, sharp and involuntary. “Tetsu, please,” he gasped, “please let me…”

“Don’t move your other hand,” Tetsu ordered, perfectly even, perfectly confident of being obeyed. “Nothing but what I allow you, Daiki. Just rub your thumb over your head and fuck yourself.”

Little whines of pleasure and wanting worked their way out of Daiki’s throat as he thrust his fingers into his ass and fondled the head of his cock, trembling with the way sensation built and built, hot and thrilled by Tetsu’s relentless control.

“Now,” Tetsu finally said, voice soft over the phone. “Now you can move your hand. Fuck yourself hard, Daiki.”

Daiki groaned, finally freed to pump his cock hard and fast, to let his hips snap up and down between his hands, driving himself up and up until he fell over the edge and the entire bed shuddered with him as he came. “Tetsuya!”

It took him a minute, in the aftermath, to remember that his hands did actually belong to him, and retrieve them, breath catching as his fingers slid free.

“There.” Tetsu’s voice was warm. “Feel more relaxed now?”

Daiki laughed, rolling over on his side toward the phone. “Yeah. A lot.” He felt downright limp, after that.

“Then sleep well, Daiki,” Tetsuya told him softly. “We’ll see you soon.”

“You too.” Daiki smiled as he turned off his phone and groped for a handful of kleenex to mop up with before burrowing under his covers.

Tetsu really did take good care of him, he thought sleepily, as he turned out the light.


Tetsuya switched his own phone off speaker and smiled. “I have very demanding lovers.”

Naked and hard and spread out on the bed beside him, Taiga moaned. “God, Tetsuya, please…”

Tetsuya leaned back on one elbow, his other hand working slowly over his own cock, and watched Taiga, the way he’d watched him all through that phone call, watched how he’d flushed at the sounds Daiki made and the orders Tetsuya gave. Watched how his eyes turned dark as Tetsuya touched himself, and how he’d gotten breathless when Tetsuya shook his head, forbidding Taiga to do anything but watch. “Tell me what you want,” Tetsuya said now, softly.

“You,” Taiga said, husky. “Let me taste you, Tetsuya…”

“Mm, that does sound good.” Tetsuya settled back against the pillows and held out a hand to Taiga. “Come here, Taiga.”

Familiar satisfaction curled warm in his chest as Taiga came to him at once, sliding between Tetsuya’s spread legs and leaning over him. His hands slid eagerly up Tetsuya’s body, but he let himself be pressed down by a hand on the back of his head and wrapped his mouth around Tetsuya’s cock softly. It felt good, very good, to feel Taiga settle under his hand as he wove his fingers through Taiga’s hair. The slick, wet heat of Taiga’s mouth slid over him, slow and sure, following every flex of his fingers, and Tetsuya let himself lie back, supported by Taiga’s hands, let himself moan openly and listened to how Taiga’s breath hitched each time.

When one of Taiga’s hands slid down between his own legs, and the quick rhythm of Taiga’s breath turned quicker, Tetsuya smiled and let himself go, thrusting up into Taiga’s mouth until pleasure broke through him, fast and bright. The deep moan that answered him made his breath catch in a soft laugh. He stroked his hands through Taiga’s hair as he lay, catching his breath, eyes closed. When Taiga gasped and shuddered between his legs, he made a contented sound, sliding his fingers down to rub over Taiga’s nape gently, feeling his lover relax. Taiga finally turned his head to rest against Tetsuya’s hip and Tetsuya murmured, “Come up here.”

When they were settled again and Taiga was wrapped around him, quiet and smiling, Tetsuya asked, “Good?”

Taiga laughed, a soft huff of breath against his shoulder. “It’s always good when you finally stop teasing me.”

Tetsuya ran his fingers slowly through Taiga’s hair. “Should I tease you less?” He already knew Taiga needed to be held and ruled more gently than Daiki.

“No,” Taiga said softly. “I like it. I like it when you let yourself be a little silly and a little evil.” He curled closer around Tetsuya. “I like how it isn’t that different from how you hold me all the time.”

“All the time,” Tetsuya agreed, sure and quiet, pleased with the way Taiga relaxed. Some day Taiga would believe, all the way down, that Tetsuya would never deny him, would not open his hands and let go. Some day. For now, he just held his lover, his partner, closer, savoring the trust they already had.

It was enough.

End

Bright-line

Aomine Daiki dropped a couple cans of soda on the low table and threw himself down on the scruffy couch in the apartment he shared with his dad, sprawling comfortably. He was still grinning. He hadn’t stopped grinning since Tetsu, acting as their referee, had declared that his last shot counted and he’d won.

Kagami was getting good enough to push him, one-on-one, and Daiki loved it.

“That,” he declared, stretching luxuriously, “was fantastic.”

Kagami snorted into his drink. “You would think so, yeah.”

“Don’t give me that.” Daiki prodded Kagami’s knee with a foot and laughed when Kagami swatted at him and scooted further around the table. “You wouldn’t keep coming up here if you didn’t think so too.” And, yeah, so Daiki had started it, coming down to Seirin to catch Kagami and Tetsu after practice and goad Kagami into matches. But it hadn’t taken more than a month or two before Kagami had gotten Tetsu to lead him to Daiki’s door and demanded (yet another) rematch. “Isn’t it the best thing ever?” Daiki asked, letting his head fall back against the couch and baring his teeth at the ceiling. “Going all the way to the edge, and then pushing against it? Getting pushed back?”

He could almost hear Kagami rolling his eyes. “You and your—”

“Taiga.”

Daiki blinked and lifted his head. Tetsu had been quiet all the way back here from the court down by the overpass, a thinking kind of quiet. He hadn’t joined them yet, either, just leaned against the sliding door out to the tiny balcony and watched them. Now that he’d finally spoken (and since when did he call Kagami by name like that?), there was something serious in his voice. Kagami obviously thought so too; he was looking up at Tetsu, where he stood over them, with a silent question in his raised brows.

Tetsu didn’t answer him, though. Just rested his hand on the wild mess of Kagami’s hair for a moment as he stepped past him toward Daiki. “What is it?” Daiki asked those steady eyes resting on him.

“That’s what’s most important to you.” It was a statement, not a question. “Having something to push against that can stop you.”

Daiki’s mouth crooked up at one corner. “Not like that’s a secret. It’s what you went looking for, wasn’t it? When you left.”

“One of the things,” Tetsu agreed. “To make you see me again. To bring you back. But Kagami-kun has his own reasons for playing you; we’re partners, but it isn’t right to use his game for my own purposes. I think it’s time I was more direct.”

Daiki blinked, puzzled. Tetsu couldn’t be thinking of playing him one-on-one; Tetsu’s game had expanded, yes, he wasn’t a pure supporting player any more. But still…

Abruptly, Tetsu was more present, locking Daiki’s attention like a magnet. “Tetsu, what…?” he asked, startled. It was always a bit of a shock when Tetsu did that. And then Tetsu leaned over him, sliding a knee onto the couch and resting a hand on the back of it. His other hand caught Daiki’s chin firmly, and Daiki couldn’t do anything but stare. He knew Tetsu was far more forceful than his polite words and self-effacing habits led people to expect, but this… this was…

This was different.

The part of his mind that wasn’t blank with startlement was expecting a kiss, but Tetsu just stayed where he was, leaning over Daiki, holding him, not letting his attention move anywhere else. And, Daiki thought slowly, letting him realize that. “Tetsu,” he said again, husky with the sudden curl of heat low in his stomach. “What are you doing?” He slid his hands up to close on Tetsu’s hips, not to steady Tetsu but to steady himself.

“Giving you what you want,” Tetsu told him quietly, and now he leaned down and kissed Daiki. It was slow and wet and demanding, and Daiki wondered hazily where Tetsu had learned to kiss, because he sure as hell knew what he was doing. When he started to lean up into it, though, Tetsu’s hand on his jaw tightened, holding him still. The heat in his groin tightened too, answering that grip. Tetsu finished kissing him, taking his time about it while Daiki sat, stunned.

Tetsu was…

“Be still, Aomine-kun,” Tetsu said as he drew back, and his voice was quiet and even and so utterly sure things would be the way he said that Daiki nearly shuddered just to hear it. He let Tetsu lift his chin, fingers tightening on Tetsu’s hips as his head was tipped all the way back against the couch cushions and held there.

“Fuck, Tetsu…” he gasped, feeling his spine pull taut with something he didn’t have a name for, anticipation or resistance or maybe both.

“Something that will stop you,” Tetsu said, soft and musing, not letting him go. “Someone that will stop you.” The heat of his mouth on Daiki’s bared throat, wet and slow, made Daiki jerk tauter, and oh god he was hard from this, from the things Tetsu was implying. Tetsu sucked sharply, just under the point of Daiki’s jaw, and he groaned with the hot almost-pain. There would be a mark there. The realization made him dizzy, or maybe that was just the way he was panting for breath now.

Tetsu lifted his head and relaxed his grip on Daiki’s chin, stroking the line of his jaw gently. Daiki just looked up at him, dazed. “When we’re together like this,” Tetsu said in that low, even, relentless voice, “you will only do what I allow you to do.” He touched Daiki’s cheek softly. “Yes or no?”

Daiki sat, still caged under the arch of Tetsu’s body, head spinning. This was crazy. He was crazy, he didn’t even know why this was making him so hot. Except… it was Tetsu, who he had never, ever been able to overwhelm or budge from his position on any subject, in any game. Tetsu always stood firm, always came back, never backed down, was the one thing Daiki could count on without doubts. Tetsu was the one immoveable thing he could lean against.

But… like this?

“I…” He had to clear his throat and try again. “Tetsu, this is… I’m not…”

Tetsu touched a finger to Daiki’s lips, eyes steady and calm. “Yes or no? That’s the only choice you have.”

Daiki swallowed hard at the spike of heat those words put up his spine, but…

Tetsu smiled, small and private, just between them, and closed his hands around Daiki’s face, resting their foreheads together. “I’ll take care of you, Daiki. You know that.”

The heat in him turned molten, spreading until Daiki wondered if he was going to come from that assurance alone. Because he did know it. Tetsu had always taken care of him, held him steady, brought him back.

And, fuck it, he wanted that, not just in the game but here too.

“Yes,” he whispered, closing his eyes.

“Good,” Tetsu murmured to him, sliding one hand down to his throat, thumb stroking the tender spot where he’d marked Daiki. It made Daiki shiver, hands flexing against Tetsu’s hips. Tetsu’s hands slid over his shoulders, down his arms, and closed on Daiki’s wrists. “Not there,” Tetsu murmured, pulling Daiki’s hands away and guiding them up and back until they were pressed against the back of the couch, behind Daiki’s head. Tetsu smiled down at him, and now there was a glint in his eyes. “Here.”

Daiki’s breath was coming short again with how it felt to be spread out under Tetsu like this, hands gripping the couch frame behind his head, legs spread. “Okay.”

“Don’t move until I tell you you may,” Tetsu ordered, cool and level, and Daiki nearly moaned. He did moan when Tetsu reached down to unfasten his jeans and tug down his underwear just far enough to free his cock.

Tetsu stayed right where he was, kneeling over Daiki, not touching him anywhere except for his hand wrapped around Daiki’s cock and fondling him slowly. Daiki’s whole body pulled tighter and tighter, under him, until he was clinging to the frame of the couch, trembling with the need to rock up into Tetsu’s hand. Nothing but Tetsu’s word held him back, nothing but Tetsu’s eyes on him, steady and unmoving, but that was enough. Daiki had said yes, given himself up to the one will that had always stood firmer than his. He did as Tetsu said.

It felt incredible.

Tetsu’s fingers were gentle on him, gentle and slow, until Daiki was arched taut under him, gasping helplessly for breath, spread out and begging with every inch of his body. “Tetsu…”

“Good,” Tetsu told him, warm and quiet. “That’s good, Daiki. Now come for me.” His hand wrapped tighter around Daiki’s cock, pumping slow and sure, and Daiki made a hoarse sound as pleasure ripped through him, wrung out his whole body wild and hard, blinded him to everything but raw sensation and the sound of Tetsu’s voice reassuring him.

As he came back down, slow and dazed, he felt Tetsu’s hands sliding over his arms, gently loosening the grip of his hands and guiding them back down, stroking over his neck and shoulders and cradling the back of his head as Tetsu kissed him. Daiki finally pried his eyes back open and looked up at Tetsu, dazed. “Wow.”

Tetsu laughed quietly. “You can move, now.”

“Oh sure,” Daiki murmured, completely wrung out. “Now that I don’t think I can any more…”

Tetsu smiled and leaned down to kiss his forehead. “So, was it good?” he asked.

“Yeah.” Daiki took a long breath, trying to fit what had just happened into his head in some kind of sensible way. It didn’t work very well, but one thing was clear; Tetsu was unreasonably good at finding what Daiki needed. “I… thanks.”

There was a definite glint of satisfaction in Tetsu’s eyes. “My pleasure.” One hand slipped down to knead the nape of Daiki’s neck, slow and easy, and he raised his voice a little. “What did you think, Taiga?”

“Jesus.”

Daiki froze at the question and the husky reply. He’d forgotten Kagami was there. Tetsu had locked his attention so tight, he’d forgotten. Tetsu’s hand tightened on his nape, now, and he murmured, “Only what I allow, remember.”

How did that make sense of Kagami still being here?!

Kagami’s voice was a little shaky. “You know, you say you’re not a sadist, but every now and then I really wonder. I also think you really like making me come without touching me. God.” A huff of breath, and then he spoke again, voice softer. “Aomine. It’s okay, really. We’re… Tetsuya and I… we’re like this, too.”

“Taiga won’t touch you unless I say,” Tetsu told him quietly. “But he’s part of this too, don’t you think?”

Daiki could nearly hear the fizzle as his brain’s ability to make sense of things gave out, like a fuse blowing. What was left was something hot, knowing that Tetsu had taken him like that in front of someone else. In front of Tetsu’s other lover. In front of the other person he held this way. Something hot and wanting curled through him, thinking about that. Daiki wrapped his arms around Tetsu and buried his head against Tetsu’s shoulder with a breathless sound.

“Good,” Tetsu whispered to him, fingers stroking his hair gently. And a little louder, “Taiga, come here.”

It was the same quiet, utterly inflexible command that Tetsu had pinned Daiki down with, and it put a little twist of heat through him to hear it addressed to someone else. Daiki took a good breath in and out, as the couch compressed beside him, and raised his head to look at Kagami. Who was very flushed and definitely looked like he’d done his clothes back up in a hurry. And who bent his head under Tetsu’s hand when Tetsu reached over to run his fingers gently through Kagami’s hair. Daiki had to swallow, watching that, and suddenly it made a lot more sense how just watching him and Tetsu could have gotten Kagami off.

“Daiki. Taiga. Do the two of you want to be together, in this?” Tetsu asked. “I can keep it separate, if not, but it does seem like a sensible extension of how you two are about the game.”

Kagami snorted, mouth curled in obvious amusement as he looked up. “What, you mean both of us completely in your hands, both on the court and off?”

“Taiga,” Tetsu chided, tugging gently on his hair. “I’m not Akashi-kun, and no one is in my control, on the court.”

“I know.” Kagami smiled as he caught Tetsu’s hand and twined their fingers together. “But you hold us, don’t you?”

There was something unspoken there, in the way they looked at each other, some reference to another conversation, and Daiki didn’t even realize his arms had tightened around Tetsu until Tetsu looked down at him, eyes soft and clear, stroking his hair again. “I do hold you,” he said, as if it were an answer to Daiki and not Kagami. “No matter which side we’re on.”

Maybe it was an answer for him after all, because hearing that settled the flare of jealousy. “I guess we can try it.” Daiki shrugged. “Together.” He slid a glance at Kagami, who nodded agreement and promptly held out his other hand to Daiki.

Daiki curled his lip and glanced aside. “What are you, a girl?” He let one hand drop to meet Kagami’s though.

“At least I’m not an asshole,” Kagami retorted, but his fingers were almost as gentle as Tetsu’s, wrapping around Daiki’s.

“The two of you,” Tetsu sighed, but there was a tiny smile on his lips when Daiki looked up, and his touch was proprietary when he reached out to rest his hands on their shoulders. It made something in Daiki relax, just to feel that, and he gave up attempting to get his sensibleness back on line.

Tetsu’s hand on him was its own kind of sense, and Daiki thought he liked that better.

End

The Tang of Hibiscus

Kise Ryouta was feeling absolutely pathetic.

What else did you call a team captain who, instead of going directly to practice when classes ended, loitered around the doors waiting for one particular senpai so that they could walk to the school gates together, before the captain in question sprinted back to make practice on time? At the beginning, Ryouta had had excuses: a question about the mountain of DVDs Kasamatsu-senpai had left him to watch, a question about club policies, about how to handle this or that club member. It was all perfectly plausible; he was still a first-year, after all! Over the weeks of January and February, though, he’d gradually run out of excuses and just showed up, two or three times a week, and hoped that Kasamatsu-senpai wouldn’t tell him to get lost.

Kasamatsu-senpai never had yet, and Ryouta was grateful for that. Grateful that the one person he’d had the most support, the most guidance, from was still there for him, at least a little. So he still waited, and still walked to the gates with Kasamatsu-senpai, and now they talked more about exams and college fees and whether the B-Corsairs would make it into the bj League play-offs this year.

Today Ryouta waited by one of the clumps of trees that edged the main walk, as unobtrusively as he could manage, and fell in quietly beside Kasamatsu-senpai when he finally emerged from the classroom building. “So,” he said after a few steps. “Enrollment lists came out today, right? Did you find anyone to go look at Toukai’s?”

Kasamatsu-senpai shuddered. “No. In fact, I turned my phone off all during class. I don’t think I could stand to get that news and then have to pretend to pay attention to history review.” He hunched one shoulder under the strap of his bag. “I’m going to go see for myself now.”

“I’m sure you’ll make it in,” Ryouta said encouragingly, and ducked as Kasamatsu-senpai swatted at his head.

“As if you know anything about it, yet. Toukai is a top school; even these days they can afford to be choosy.” They were nearly at the gates, and Kasamatsu-senpai straightened up and took a deep breath. “All right. Here I go.”

“Good luck, senpai.” Ryouta waved him out and watched for a little while before he had to sprint for practice to keep the coach from yelling at him. University, he thought as he dashed down the campus walks. It was March, and Kasamatsu-senpai was heading for university, was almost gone.

He pushed the faint panic of that thought aside and ran faster.


Ryouta worked hard, that practice, pushing himself harder than he had for a while. Their coach had kept an eye on him ever since Aida-san started throwing words like “overstrain” and “bone damage” around. Today, though, he needed this, needed to work until his muscles and nerves had the tension worn out of them.

Which meant he only jumped a little when someone spoke from behind him, as he was closing the outer door of the sports complex.

“Do you always stay this late?”

Ryouta spun around, startled. “Kasamatsu-senpai!” It took him a moment to realize he’d been asked a question and shrug sheepishly. “Not always.”

Kasamatsu-senpai pushed away from the wall where he’d been leaning, with an unimpressed grunt. “Maybe I should have been keeping a little closer eye on you.”

“You don’t really have to,” Kise mumbled, perfectly well aware this was a social denial, not a real one, and probably sounded like it; then he remembered and perked up. “Hey, did you get in?”

Kasamatsu-senpai grinned at that. “Yeah, I thought I’d come tell you instead of making you wait for tomorrow. I got in.”

“That’s fantastic, congratulations!” And Ryouta meant it, really he did, he just couldn’t help the little twist inside at the thought that it was really real. Kasamatsu-senpai was leaving.

Kasamatsu-senpai cocked his head, looking up at Ryouta steadily. “That wasn’t the only thing I figured I should tell you, now,” he said, finally, and jerked his head down the walk. “Come on, before we get locked on campus.”

Ryouta trailed along, curious. Surely there wasn’t anything left to tell him about the club; his various excuses earlier in the year had covered everything he could imagine, sooner or later. They turned toward the little shopping district Ryouta passed through every day on the way to school, quiet and dark at this time of night, except for a restaurant here and there.

“So,” he finally said, unsure what to do with all this quiet and searching for something to fill it with, “I guess you won’t be my senpai for much longer.”

Of course, there was never a guarantee that what he found would be any better than the quiet.

But Kasamatsu-senpai sounded genuinely amused when he snorted. “Just because I’m graduating before you?” He had his eyes fixed on the sidewalk in front of them. “Didn’t stop me last time.”

Ryouta blinked, trying to make sense of that a couple different ways before he gave up. “Um. It… didn’t?”

“You entered the middle-school club your second year,” Kasamatsu-senpai said quietly, almost musing to himself. “And it’s not like I played every game. No reason for you to remember, and I don’t think we ever even met.” He heaved in a breath. “I was at Teikou too, though.”

It wasn’t until Kasamatsu-senpai looked back and turned around that Ryouta realized he’d stopped walking. “You…” He couldn’t quite get past that first word.

“Mm.” Kasamatsu-senpai shoved his hands into his pockets, watching Ryouta with dark eyes. “First string. So I met Akashi, his first year. That’s… kind of why I didn’t say anything.”

“But…” Ryouta seemed to be stuck with single words today.

Kasamatsu-senpai sighed and came to grab Ryouta’s arm. “Here. Get out of the middle of the sidewalk.” He pulled Ryouta over to the concrete planters beside the sweets shop on the corner and pushed him down to sit on the edge. He thumped down beside Ryouta, looking down at his crossed arms. “I could see it, even then,” he said, low. “Akashi… he was different. And he kept pushing the captain and coach for more reckless policies. Perfectly polite about it, but… you could see he didn’t really think about the idea of losing. After the Cup this year, I’m pretty sure of it—he didn’t understand losing, or what it does to people, or how losing is part of the game itself. So he didn’t care.” He glanced up at Ryouta, mouth tilted ruefully. “In case you ever wondered just why I was so pissed off when you said that practice match with Seirin was the first time you ever lost.”

“It… I… the first time I’d lost a game,” Ryouta specified, dazed. "I lost all the time to Aominecchi." Kasamatsu-senpai’s smile un-tilted, and he nudged Ryouta’s shoulder with his.

“Yeah, when we played Touou I got that part.” He leaned forward, elbows on his knees, clasping his hands between them. “So. I didn’t like what I saw of Akashi, and I didn’t like what I heard after I graduated. When Kaijou recruited you, I wasn’t sure what to expect. But I knew I wanted to show you something different. Something I didn’t think you’d be able to associate with the name ‘Teikou’.”

“Something different…?” Ryouta echoed softly, still a little lost in the idea that he’d had a… a… a double-senpai at Kaijou.

Kasamatsu-senpai was quiet for a long moment. “It’s not like Teikou wasn’t always strict. It was. Screwing up bad enough always got you dropped down a rank. Competition to actually play was always fierce. But all that was so we could win. Not so we could win, if that makes sense.” He glanced sidelong at Ryouta. “Even if I hadn’t met you, you were still my kouhai. I wanted you to see what that was like.”

Ryouta felt like he couldn’t quite catch his breath. “I have,” he said, husky. “I really have.” Because, yes, what Kasamatsu-senpai said made perfect sense. And, no, Ryouta probably wouldn’t have understood before this year, before his new team, his new captain. “Thank you,” he finished, finally.

And then it hit him all over again, that he was about to lose this, and he pulled one knee up to his chest, leaning his chin against it so he could bite his tongue without being obvious about it. If he concentrated on that little pain he could push back the bigger one.

“Oh, not the puppy-dog eyes, come on,” Kasamatsu-senpai groaned, and pummeled his shoulder. “I told you already, graduating ahead of you didn’t stop me from looking after my kouhai last time, and it isn’t going to stop me this time either!”

“But… you’ll be gone.” Ryouta’s voice was unsteadier than he’d wanted it to be, and he looked away, embarrassed. He heard Kasamatsu-senpai heave a put-upon sigh.

“Idiot. Why do you think I waited to tell you this until I knew I was in at Toukai? The Physical Education program is based on the Shounan campus. I’ll be right next door.”

Ryouta stared down the empty street, not seeing it. That sounded… like Kasamatsu-senpai thought he might visit. That would be something, at least. "Okay."

Another sigh, softer this time, and Kasamatsu-senpai’s hand settled on his hair, much more gently than usual. His voice was gentler, too, when he repeated, “Why do you think I waited to tell you? After you spent nearly three months trying to keep me from really leaving the club, I didn’t want to say anything unless I was sure I wouldn’t just be leaving the city right after.”

Ryouta’s face was hot, and he was inescapably aware that, yes, he really had been that pathetic.

“Hey.” Kasamatsu-senpai’s hand slid down to his nape and shook him a little. “Didn’t say I minded.”

Ryouta peeked at him sidelong, positive that he was completely red. “…really?”

Kasamatsu-senpai was watching him with a faint smile. “Come here.” He tugged Ryouta down to him, and Ryouta’s breath drew in quick and shaky as Kasamatsu-senpai kissed him. “Really.”

Ryouta leaned against him, feeling how wide his own eyes were. “Senpai.”

“Twice,” Kasamatsu-senpai agreed, mouth quirking. “So relax a little, okay? I’m not leaving.”

Ryouta swallowed, a little shocked by how relieved he felt to hear that. How much he’d wound himself up in Kasamatsu-senpai without admitting it to himself. He managed a tiny smile, still feeling the warmth of that brief kiss on his lips, and agreed softly, “Yes, senpai.”

Kasamatsu-senpai’s hand tightened on his nape for a moment, perfectly reassuring. “Good.” And then he stood, pulling Ryouta with him. “So let’s go get some food. I was too freaked out to eat before I went and looked at the admission lists.”

On cue, Ryouta’s stomach growled, and he laughed. “Yeah. Okay.” He ducked his head and gave Kasamatsu-senpai his best winsome look as they started walking again. “Senpai pay for their kouhai, right?” It probably said something about them, that getting kicked for that settled his nerves.

“Of course they do, so quit looking at me like I’m one of your damn fanclub!”

It took a few moments for Ryouta to realize that Kasamatsu-senpai had actually agreed, and then he couldn’t help the way his grin softened, how shy the sidelong look he gave his senpai was.

Or how red he turned when Kasamatsu-senpai told him, eyes gleaming, “And that look you should save for somewhere more private.”


Ryouta floated through the next day in a bit of a daze, forgot all the answers on the History test, and started rumor galloping through his fanclub when someone spotted him doodling versions of the first characters of Kasamatsu-senpai’s name and his own in the fanciest style he could manage.

Kasamatsu-senpai was rolling his eyes and trying to keep a smile under control when Ryouta met him after classes. “It’s a good thing it is almost the end of the year, or you’d have the whole school in a panic.” This said with the cheerfulness of a captain who would never have to deal with Ryouta’s fanclub during practice again. “I could hear the shrieking two floors up.”

Ryouta ran a hand through his hair and sighed. “I’ll have to figure out how to let Ryuu-chan down easy. She’s the front-runner in the rumors.”

“You’re way too nice.”

“I was trained to be!” Ryouta protested, remembering the constant murmurs from agency minders about Smile, now, Kise-kun, nice and bright. “It’s just for show, and most of them know it too. You know I wouldn’t—”

That was when the memory of something he hadn’t thought about at all last night, or today, dropped on his head, feeling very much like a brick.

“Of course I know, don’t be ridiculous,” Kasamatsu-senpai was scoffing, but he paused when he glanced over at Ryouta. “Kise?”

“I should have said before, I just didn’t think of it.” Ryouta resisted the urge to chew on his lip, something else he’d been pretty strenuously trained out of and hadn’t even felt the urge to do in years. “Aominecchi… we… it’s…” He made a frustrated sound at his inability to find good words for what was between them.

Kasamatsu-senpai was wearing a tiny smile. “Aomine, hm? I like the fact that he didn’t occur to you sooner, actually.”

Ryouta was coming to the conclusion that Kasamatsu-senpai enjoyed making him blush. “It’s just… well, after Aida-san and Momocchi set it up so we could get some matches in, it just… spills over sometimes.”

“Since I’m not actually blind, and have in fact seen you two play,” Kasamatsu-senpai said dryly, “that doesn’t surprise me at all.”

Ryouta took a deep breath. “It’s just… today is one of the days Aominecchi is allowed to come here for a match after practice is officially over.”

They stopped by the school gates, and Kasamatsu-senpai looked up at Ryouta thoughtfully. “So do you need me to warn him off, or do you need me to tell you it’s all right?”

Ryouta gave him an indignant look. “I don’t need anyone to warn anyone off, I can do that perfectly well myself!”

“So you want it to be all right,” Kasamatsu-senpai said softly, watching him, ignoring the slowing stream of other students walking past just a meter or two away. One of the things that drew Ryouta to Kasamatsu-senpai was the way he could see past some of the faces Ryouta wore, some of the things he didn’t say. But sometimes Ryouta wished he couldn’t.

Ryouta bent his head, studying his toes. “I know it’s a selfish thing to want,” he said, low. “I know… what that’s usually called. I just… when we play one-on-one, there’s so much, and it’s Aominecchi, he’s the one who opened this whole world up for me, and he’s coming back to us now, and…” He trailed off because Kasamatsu-senpai’s hand was on his wrist, light and warm.

“He’s important to you. I can understand that.” Kasamatsu-senpai’s hand tightened for a moment and let go. “All right. Play Aomine as much as you want. Even,” a corner of his mouth curled up, “if it spills over.”

Ryouta knew he was staring and couldn’t help himself. “It’s really all right?”

Kasamatsu-senpai’s crooked smile became a smirk. “Aomine isn’t the one you just spent three months trailing around after.”

Kasamatsu-senpai definitely liked to make him blush.

“I’ll make you a deal,” he continued, lower. “Go ahead and play with Aomine tonight. Come home with me tomorrow.”

There was not, Ryouta thought, enough air out here. At least, it didn’t seem to be doing him any good at the moment, because he couldn’t quite catch his breath. “Yes, senpai,” he said, husky, feeling how wide his eyes had gone.

Kasamatsu-senpai smiled. “I’ve seen the two of you play,” he repeated, “and you don’t look at him like this, even then. It’s fine, Kise.” And then he hitched his bag up over his shoulder and strolled out the school gates, leaving Ryouta wondering how on earth he was supposed to keep his mind on practice, now.


“Come on in.”

Ryouta stepped into the small, quiet house after Kasamatsu-senpai, toeing off his shoes and glancing around at the dimness. “Your parents aren’t home yet either?”

“Tou-san works late a lot.” Kasamatsu-senpai shot a small smile over his shoulder as he led the way up the stairs. “And this is Kaa-san’s mahjong night with her friends.”

Definite anticipation curled in Ryouta’s stomach, shivery and warm, as he followed Kasamatsu-senpai up to his room. His own mother, of course, had understood immediately why he wanted to stay over at his senpai’s house, and that it had nothing to do with watching match videos. She’d stood on tip-toe to kiss his forehead and told him to enjoy himself. Ryouta had smiled and nodded reassurance to the shadow of a question in those bright eyes so much like his. She’d relaxed, then, and said how good it was that he had a proper senpai to take care of him, and they’d giggled together while his father just shook his head indulgently over how flighty they could be.

Kasamatsu-senpai’s room was very like he was himself—spare and compact and stuffed with basketball. There were rows of magazines and videos on the book case, several shoe boxes stacked neatly in the corner, and he dropped his bag in what was clearly its proper place, beside the desk next to a larger bag that had one end rounded around a basketball.

“Going to stand there all night?”

Ryouta started a little, realizing he was still in the doorway. Kasamatsu-senpai was sitting on the edge of his bed, watching him. “I… no, of course not.”

Kasamatsu-senpai held out a hand, looking rather amused. “Come here, then.”

Unaccustomed nerves fluttered in Ryouta’s stomach as he stepped slowly across the room. Kasamatsu-senpai’s brows rose, but his smile softened. He caught Ryouta’s wrists and tugged him down until he was kneeling between Kasamatsu-senpai’s legs, and gathered him close. “Sure you’ve done this before?”

Ryouta leaned against him, enjoying the hand running up and down his back. Softly, not looking up, he said, “I have. It’s just never been quite like this.”

“Is that good?” Kasamatsu-senpai’s hand slid up into his hair, and Ryouta let his head drop to rest on Kasamatsu-senpai’s shoulder, hands linked behind his back.

“It is. I… hope it is.” After a moment, putting his words together carefully, he went on. “You don’t like how I have to be for work. I mean, it was kind of obvious. So I was mostly serious, for you, unless I just forgot. Or unless I was trying to wind you up,” he admitted, and laughed at his senpai’s growl. The fingers cradling his head stayed gentle, though, and he relaxed under them. “This isn’t just being serious, though.” Serious was pretty easy, actually, especially in the middle of a game. Being not-serious and also not-joking made him a little nervous, uncertain how he should be acting. It felt good, though, being held like this.

Kasamatsu-senpai’s breath gusted against Ryouta’s neck as he sighed. Instead of the briskness Ryouta was used to from his captain, though, his voice was quiet when he said, “It’s okay. I’m your senpai, right? That means I’ll take care of you. So quit worrying so much.”

Ryouta shivered a little at that assurance, at the reminder of how clearly Kasamatsu-senpai saw him and understood him. “Even like this?” he asked, a bit hesitant. It wasn’t like he had much basis for comparison, never having had many senpai except in the technical sense, but this seemed a little above and beyond the usual call.

A huff of laughter was warm against his neck. “Like this is special. But I’ll still take care of you.”

Ryouta was laughing a little himself, with nerves and happiness. “Okay.” He lifted his head and leaned in, parting his lips willingly when Kasamatsu-senpai caught his mouth. The warm slide of a tongue over his made things easier, easier to just feel instead of worrying. The question of how to act would answer itself, like it always did, as a reflection of the world around him.

…he just hadn’t expected it to answer itself quite this way. With each kiss, with each button Kasamatsu-senpai undid, with each slide of fingers over skin, Kasamatsu-senpai’s touch turned gentler. Instead of holding Ryouta harder, he held him more carefully. By the time he’d gotten rid of the last of their clothes and tugged Ryouta up onto the bed and settled over him, he was cradling Ryouta’s face in his hands, kissing him slow and coaxing.

And Ryouta felt himself answering the only way that felt right, by relaxing more for every gentled touch until he was lying under Kasamatsu-senpai flushed and open and shaking a little with it. He didn’t do this, didn’t let his games and smiles and teasing all fall away. Never before, at least. It had never felt so right to do it, but now Kasamatsu-senpai’s careful touch was brushing those things away and Ryouta was letting it happen. “Senpai,” he whispered against Kasamatsu-senpai’s mouth, husky.

Kasamatsu-senpai raised his head and looked down at him with a little smile. “Under the circumstances, I think you can use my given name if you want.”

Ryouta swallowed, looking aside from those clear, dark eyes, shy in face of their steadiness. He felt exposed and sheltered at the same time, and the combination made him dizzy. “Yukio-san,” he said softly.

Kasamatsu-senpai turned Ryouta’s face back to him and kissed him, soft and easy. “Ryouta.”

The intimacy of his name, spoken like that, made Ryouta’s breath catch hard. “Senpai,” he gasped, a little pleading, and Yukio-san gathered him up tight.

“Shh, it’s okay.” A hand settled, warm, on the back of his neck, rubbing slowly. “It’s okay. We’ll go slow.”

Ryouta turned his head into Yukio-san’s shoulder, face a little hot. What he’d said earlier was turning out to be truer than he’d known. He never had done it like this before. Not with someone who saw him.

Not with someone he let see him, opened himself up for and offered himself to.

The irreverent corner of his mind observed that it was a good thing Yukio-san was prepared to treat him like a virgin. He seemed to be one after all, in a way he hadn’t even known. Somehow, the thought made it easier; easier to understand why he felt so shaky. He took a slow breath and looked up at his senpai. “Thank you, Yukio-san.”

Yukio-san brushed his thumb over Ryouta’s lips, looking down at him seriously. “I told you I’d take care of you.”

Ryouta closed his eyes for a moment at the rush of warmth that sent through him, and turned his head to kiss Yukio-san’s palm. Against it, he murmured. “Thank you, senpai.”

Yukio-san’s weight over him was comforting, and when he caught Ryouta’s chin and kissed him again, Ryouta let himself relax into the rising heat without resistance. Kiss after kiss, as Yukio-san’s hands stroked down his body, over his ribs, cupping his ass, Ryouta let himself answer openly, let his arms wind tight around Yukio-san to anchor himself against the way those gentle, steady hands on him made him shake. “Yukio-san,” he gasped at last, husky. “Please…” He felt Yukio-san’s mouth curve against his.

“Yeah. Now is good, I think.” Yukio-san’s weight eased off him and he nudged Ryouta’s hip. “Here.”

Ryouta let Yukio-san turn him over, heat and want curling together as he stretched out on his stomach and Yukio-san leaned over him to rummage in the small, square set of drawers beside the bed, where the alarm stood. The feel of slick, cool fingers pushing into him made him moan against the sheets. It was the slide of Yukio-san’s mouth against his nape that made him shudder with a rush of hot response, though. “Please…”

“Shhh.” Yukio-san’s lips brushed his skin. “I’ve got you, Ryouta. Easy.”

That care, that support, the quiet, serious warmth of Yukio-san’s voice, pulled a whimper out of him. The words worked his heart open the way Yukio-san’s fingers opened his body, and it felt so good, so very good. When Yukio-san finally pulled him up onto his knees, Ryouta was panting and hard and more than ready. He would have pushed back into the slow stretch of Yukio-san’s cock pressing in, would have taken him in faster, if Yukio-san hadn’t held him firmly. “Yukio-san!”

There was a flash of Yukio-san’s usual temper in his voice, softened by amusement. “I’m not letting you hurt yourself, and damn you’re tight, Ryouta. Do what your senpai says, already!”

Ryouta laughed, breathless and unsteady with the slide and stretch of Yukio-san pushing in. “Yes, senpai.” But he still wriggled in Yukio-san’s grip and moaned openly when he sank all the way home. Softly he pleaded, “I can take it harder than that, please, senpai…”

Yukio-san snorted, and his voice was getting husky too. “Pushy aren’t you? All right, then.”

When he pulled back and thrust into Ryouta hard and deep, heat poured down Ryouta’s spine like lava and he couldn’t be embarrassed by the sound he made. His hands closed into fists on the sheets as Yukio-san fucked him breathlessly hard, holding him steady for every stroke. It was so good to let himself fall down into the pure sensation, and his whole body flexed wantonly in Yukio-san’s hands, eager for this, for more. Good as that was, though, it was the sound of Yukio-san’s voice that wrapped heat around him until he was a little crazy with it. That voice, softened for him, whispering things like Easy, I’ve got you and I’ll take care of it all, just let me and Let go, Ryouta, it’s okay.

It was that last one that undid him.

He moaned out loud as pleasure burst through him, shaking him senseless with the thought that he was safe, it was all right to let himself go, to feel this as much as he wanted. The hoarse gasp above him assured him that Yukio-san was with him, felt this as much as he did, but those hands were still holding him steady. Not letting go. When the heat finally faded a little and Yukio-san let him down to the bed again, he kept on holding Ryouta close and steady, and Ryouta turned and clung to him shamelessly.

“Shh.” Yukio-san’s hand spread against his back, warm and sure. “It’s still okay.”

Ryouta nodded wordlessly where his head was buried in Yukio-san’s shoulder. He hadn’t felt like this even when it really was the first time he’d had sex. He’d never felt like this before. Never let anyone open him up like this. “You’re really staying,” he said, low, just to say it out loud and reassure himself.

“Yeah, I am.” There was maybe a smile in Yukio-san’s voice when he said, “So are you, after all.” His hand slid over the arms Ryouta had locked around him. Ryouta looked up at him, still flushed and shaky, more open than he remembered being in years.

“Yes, Yukio-san.”

Because Yukio-san brushed aside all the charm Ryouta met the world with and still wanted him, saw Ryouta’s selfishness and wanting and still sheltered him, because of these things Ryouta would stay here in Yukio-san’s hands. The gentleness of those hands when Yukio-san tipped up Ryouta’s chin and kissed him said that this was where Ryouta belonged.

More than anywhere else, right here.

End

A/N: When Aomine calls Kasamatsu "senpai" during the Kaijou v Touou game, it’s pretty clear that’s just Aomine offering a typically sarcastic token of respect for Kasamatsu’s guts in setting Aomine up for a foul. But I couldn’t help thinking, what if it had meant something more, what if Kasamatsu had been at Teikou and seen the beginning of all that craziness? I couldn’t resist using the idea.

In hanakotoba, hibiscus indicate gentleness or delicacy.

White Camellias Turning Red

Aomine Daiki loved a really good game of basketball. As far as he was concerned, it was the best thing in the world, even better than sex.

He actually spoke from knowledge, there. Some people got all starry eyed over anyone with talent, and some people got turned on by anything that looked dangerous. So there had been kisses and groping with girls in school who giggled over it, and there had been hand jobs in the locker room with other boys who weren’t sure whether they idolized him or feared him, and there’d been a few women out on the streets who made speculative comments about his height, and there’d been that one guy on a street court who bet a good fuck on their game and he’d been a man and anted up when he lost, even though he’d had to tell Daiki what to do.

Daiki felt he had some basis for saying good basketball was better than sex, but hell, it had been something to try so he had.

What he hadn’t thought about until recently was that it might be possible to combine good basketball with sex. He hadn’t thought it until the night he’d come to Kaijou to play Kise and stayed so late they were the only ones in the shower. He’d watched the stream of water running down Kise’s back and reached out to follow it with his fingers, and Kise had turned and looked at him with eyes still hot and focused from their game. He figured, afterwards, that Kise’s experience probably came from a lot the same places his did. It was easy with Kise, and neither of them took the sex for anything but was it was: a way to stay in the place they found when they played.

Tetsu and Kagami, though… that was harder to figure out.

Daiki knew he felt a little differently about Tetsu, his oldest friend after Satsuki, his partner, the one who’d left and come back all to pull him out of the hole he’d fallen down. Tetsu had come back even after Daiki had pushed him down that hole too, something that still made him flinch when he thought about it. Tetsu was… special.

Tetsu, who had a new partner, now.

Tetsu, who welcomed Daiki wherever they met, who smiled at him again, who rested his hand against Daiki’s back when Daiki flopped down across his lap during practice. Who scolded him for slacking off in a way that was so familiar it made Daiki’s chest clench, made him trail along after Tetsu just to hear more of it. Who smiled at and scolded Kagami just the same way.

And Daiki couldn’t damn well strangle Kagami for it, because Kagami was one of his best rivals these days, one of the painfully few who could even begin to call himself that. Daiki thought it might just kill him to lose Kagami again after finally, finally finding someone like him to play. So there was really only one thing to do, and Daiki had decided to do it tonight.

He laughed as he slammed the ball in past Kagami one last time. “Ten! Another game to me, and you pay for food!” He touched down on the cracked asphalt of the little park court and grinned at Kagami, taunting. Tetsu had left them to it half an hour ago, after reminding Kagami of their test the next day with an edge of resignation that said he didn’t expect Kagami to listen.

Kagami caught his balance and straightened up, breathing hard, eyes still bright with challenge. “Fuck you! One more time!”

Daiki thought he really might be just a little in love. Well, that made it easier.

“One more time to fuck you?” he purred, showing his teeth. “Yeah, we could do that too.”

Kagami paused for a long moment, blinking at him. “…wait, what?”

And it was too easy, really. Too easy to take one long stride that brought him right up against Kagami, close enough to feel the heat radiating from him after their game tonight, and wind his fingers in Kagami’s shirt, and catch his mouth fast and hard. The sound Kagami made was startled, but his hands found Daiki right away, spreading against his ribs sure and easy. Daiki made an interested noise at that.

When he finally let Kagami go, Kagami stared at him with disbelief, though he still hadn’t backed off either. “What the hell was that?”

Daiki shrugged easily. “Seemed like a logical next step.” He watched, entertained, while Kagami opened and closed his mouth a few times, and finally kissed him again to stop him.

“Mmm… Mm! Wait, wait, wait.” Kagami pushed him back a little, frowning. “What about Kuroko? I mean, you’re… with him… well, it’s obvious okay?”

Daiki gave him an aggravated look. Why couldn’t Kagami just shut up and get down to the screwing, like everyone else? “That’s why, idiot. He’s not going to be happy leaving you out of it, so I’m fucking stuck with you. Might as well make the best of it.” Grudgingly, he added, “And also it gets pretty heated up when we play like this, though I gotta say you’re wasting all of that by talking.”

Kagami stared at him for a long, silent moment, and Daiki watched his expression slowly change, through confusion, disbelief, exasperation, sneaking pleasure. Eventually, it settled on a tilted kind of amusement. “What the hell. This I’ve gotta see.” His hands tightened, and he pulled Daiki back against him, tipping his chin up a bit to catch Daiki’s mouth in turn.

That was better, and Daiki cheerfully wound himself around Kagami, sucking on his tongue. The feel of Kagami’s arms locking around him made him purr, and he slid his hands down Kagami’s back, groping his ass. It was a nice handful. He laughed into Kagami’s mouth when Kagami growled and pushed a leg between his thighs.

“God, you’re pushy,” Kagami muttered.

“You’re surprised?” Daiki mocked, and smiled when Kagami snorted.

“Fuck no.”

Daiki laughed outright at that, amused by the way Kagami’s language was sliding even further down the scale than usual, and bent his head to bite at the taut line of tendon running down Kagami’s neck. That got him a satisfying thrust of hips against his. Satisfying for now, but not enough, so he closed his mouth and sucked.

“Ngh!”

Daiki smiled, eyes half lidded, at the feel of Kagami’s hold on him tightening, hard enough to drive his breath out. Yeah. This was what he wanted. He relaxed into it, flowing with the flex of Kagami’s muscles like he’d flow with a game, biting back up Kagami’s neck until he found his mouth again, hot and intent against Daiki’s. He laughed low in his throat when Kagami turned to push him against the the pole under the basket. He leaning back against it and hooking a leg around Kagami to pull him in tight. The breath Kagami sucked in when Daiki slid a hand down the back of his shorts to grip bare skin was plenty of compensation for the press of the pole’s plastic padding against his spine. He slid his fingers between Kagami’s cheeks and made a pleased sound when Kagami jerked against him.

“Did you plan this, or was it spur of the moment thing?” Kagami asked against his ear, fingers digging into Daiki’s back.

“Mm, pretty spur of the moment,” Daiki admitted, rubbing slowly.

Kagami’s hips ground against him. “Then that’s as far as you go,” he gritted between his teeth.

Daiki’s brows rose. Kagami knew what he was doing, here. That was good to know.

Knowing didn’t keep him from bucking a little with the surprise when Kagami yanked down the waistband of Daiki’s shorts, dragging his underwear down with them, and wrapped his fingers around Daiki’s cock. “Shit,” he gasped, “Kagami…” The pole padding was cold against his bare ass, and he squirmed a little.

It was Kagami’s turn to laugh, low and breathless, fingers tightening. “More later, maybe, yeah?” He kissed Daiki again, slower this time, deliberate like his hand was deliberate, stroking up and down Daiki’s cock.

A spark of challenge danced up Daiki’s spine, hot and excited, and he plunged his other hand into Kagami’s shorts too, fondling him from the front and back at once. The way Kagami moaned into his mouth tasted good, and Kagami’s fingers felt good wrapped around him, warm in the cool night air and strong in a way that made Daiki’s excitement burn hotter.

But no matter how Daiki touched him, dragging his fist up and down Kagami’s cock, rubbing his fingers in ruthlessly hard circles over Kagami’s entrance, those slow kisses didn’t speed up. They just got deeper. It wasn’t what Daiki was used to, but it felt good. It felt like Kagami was really paying attention to him. He liked that thought a lot.

Daiki hung on as long as he could, but when Kagami bucked into his fist, when Kagami moaned into his mouth, pressed up full length against him, when Kagami’s fingers tightened and stroked down him like Kagami wanted to memorize the texture of him… well, he dared anyone to hold steady through that. He pulled roughly away from the kiss and buried his head against Kagami’s shoulder as pleasure wrung out his whole body.

The weight of Kagami leaning against him was actually kind of nice, too, he decided in the floating daze after.

“Hope you have an extra towel,” Kagami mumbled against his neck. “Mine’s back in the locker room.”

Daiki laughed.

Kagami wouldn’t quite look at him while they got cleaned up, which had Daiki smirking. “Shy?” he finally prodded.

“Oh shut up.” Kagami threw the towel at him, scowling, and added, “You get to explain your own insanity to Kuroko, if that’s what the point of this is.”

“Won’t have to.” Daiki balled up his towel and stuffed it into the bottom of his bag, concentrating on his hands instead of what he was admitting. “He knows me. Knows you too, now. He’ll see it.” And then he’d know he didn’t have to choose.

Kagami heaved a vast sigh, and he had his hands on his hips when Daiki looked up. “Yeah, maybe he will, and then what’s he going to think? Unless you actually open your idiot mouth and tell him that this is all for his sake and not just you and me hooking up, which is what I’m saying you should do.” Not completely under his breath, he muttered, “Miracles my ass, the lot of you are total morons off the court.”

“Says the guy getting twelves on his tests?” Daiki shot back, having been at Seirin the day their coach saw some of Kagami’s exam papers that he’d stuffed into the bottom of his locker.

“That was in History!” Kagami snapped. “It’s different here, how the hell am I supposed to catch up all at once?”

“I dunno, actually knowing how to read, maybe?”

The deflection worked, and they bickered all the way down the road to Daiki’s turn-off toward the station. But Kagami’s words stayed with him. Maybe, Daiki admitted grudgingly, he was good for something besides basketball.

Maybe.

Sometimes.

So what was he going to say to Tetsu?


Daiki had about a week to think about it, and then he had Seirin’s practice hours during which he didn’t have much time to think about it, because Aida Riko was a demon in girl-shape.

“Footwork drills?” Okay, he admitted it, he was whining a little.

She folded her arms forbiddingly. “With your style, in particular, you absolutely cannot afford to slack off on exercises to strengthen your lateral movement muscles.” She pointed an imperious finger at the tapes set up on one side of the gym, looking like an insane cross between an obstacle course and a hopscotch grid. “Go! Kagami, you could stand to run this one too, but if I catch you trying to do it at Aomine’s speed you’ll wish you’d never been born.”

Kagami closed his mouth on whatever he’d been about to argue, and muttered, “Yes, Kantoku.”

The footwork drill was challenging, enough to actually keep his attention, and he had a good laugh when Aida-kantoku scolded Kagami for jumping bits of it, despite his argument that he was practicing his best skill. But all the while, in the back of his head, he was aware of Tetsu’s eyes on them, measuring. When official practice was over, and they were waiting for Tetsu’s senpai to finish their individual training so Daiki and Kagami could play, he wandered over to hop up beside Tetsu on the stage and sprawled across his knees as usual.

Tetsu hesitated a moment before he rested his hand in its usual place on Daiki’s back.

Kagami ostentatiously scooped up Tetsu’s water bottle along with his own and sauntered toward the east doors and the sinks to refill them. Daiki sighed; yeah, he got the point already. He was talking. “So, about Kagami,” he started.

Tetsu’s hand lightened, as if to lift at any moment. “The two of you settled something.”

“Well, he’s your partner now,” Daiki muttered under the smack of balls against hardwood and the echo of Aida-kantoku’s orders, resting his chin on his folded arms. “You wouldn’t like it if I tried to cut him out. So.”

“So?” Tetsu prodded after a long moment. “So… this?”

“So there was nothing to do but include him, if I want to be with you,” Daiki said, a little annoyed at having to state the obvious.

After a long, still moment that kind of wore on Daiki’s nerves, Tetsu let out a small huff of laughter. His hand rested on Daiki’s back firmly, again, and Daiki settled at that. That was better. He watched Kagami coming back with the water bottles with half closed eyes, finally feeling properly lazy again. Kagami leaned against the side of the stage, eyeing them, and shook his head.

“You’re both crazy. But, what the hell. Always seemed like it was the crazy ones this kind of thing worked best for.” He took a long drink from his own water.

Tetsu cocked his head at his new partner, not minding while Daiki stole his bottle for a drink of his own. “Does that mean you’re crazy too, Kagami-kun?”

Kagami’s mouth curled up at the corner as he leaned back on his elbows, watching their senpai out on the floor. “Yeah. Guess I might be.”

“Thank you,” Tetsu said softly, and Daiki watched with a certain glee as Kagami instantly got flustered, looking off to the side with his ears turning red.

Really, it was no wonder Tetsu handled Kagami so easily, if he responded like this every time Tetsu got all earnest.

“Not like it’s a favor or something,” Kagami grumbled. “You don’t have to say thanks.”

Tetsu smiled, tiny and obviously amused. “It’s something you chose to do that makes me very happy. Shouldn’t I thank you for that?”

Kagami turned redder, and Daiki laughed. “Give it up, Kagami. Tetsu always gets his way sooner or later; best to save time and just agree now.”

Kagami glowered at him. “Aren’t you supposed to be morally opposed to that kind of thinking?”

“Kagami-kun,” Tetsu said quietly, hand pressing a little more firmly against Daiki’s back, and Daiki had to agree with the pained look Kagami gave Tetsu.

“If you’re going to make me be nice to him, we’re going to have problems,” Kagami pointed out.

“I wouldn’t try to do that.”

Daiki always knew Tetsu was smart.

“But I don’t want to argue about that.”

That silenced both of them, and Daiki shifted off Tetsu’s legs, sitting up to drape against his back instead. Kagami half turned, one elbow still braced on the stage, and leaned against Tetsu’s knees. Daiki could feel Tetsu’s shoulders ease under their silent attempts at reassurance.

“So, hey.” Kagami nudged Tetsu’s leg. “You want to play too, tonight?”

“Hey,” Daiki objected. Kagami was getting better, and Tetsu would be a decisive advantage for either of them, now.

Kagami rolled his eyes. “I didn’t say ‘pick sides’. You remember that one Saturday Kise showed up and we played one-on-one-on-one?”

“And you played so long Kantoku yelled at us all the next day.” Tetsu looked down at him, smiling a little. “I couldn’t play the way Kise-kun does.”

“No, but that could be good,” Daiki said, thoughtfully, resting his chin on Tetsu’s shoulder. “For us to keep a look out for you, and try to keep the ball. For you to track the game and try to take it while we’re distracted with each other.” Even as he said it, he could hear the parallels with how they acted toward each other off the court, and Kagami looked satisfied.

“Yeah, like that.”

Tetsu nodded slowly. “That does sound like fun.” He wasn’t smiling this time, but his whole expression lightened at the assurance that, even in matches like these, he had a part.

Daiki exchanged what he was pretty sure was a look of complete understanding with Kagami. Maybe he was still a little jealous, and maybe Kagami still thought he was a jerk, but they both wanted to please their partner, to have those fierce, fearless eyes look at them and approve. Kagami agreed on that, at least.

He supposed there could be worse people to be sharing Tetsu with.


Later, on the way home, Daiki leaned his head back against the vibrating window of the train and stared up at the ceiling, thinking.

Tetsu and Kagami had gone with him as far as the little park Daiki and Kagami had played each other in a week ago. And, at the turn-off toward the station, Tetsu had reached up to curve a hand around the back of Daiki’s neck, and tugged him down and kissed him. He could almost feel it again, just thinking about it, the warm, firm pressure of Tetsu’s mouth against his. It felt like the way he remembered being Tetsu’s friend felt—like support he could lean against, like a demand made quietly.

And then, of course, because Tetsu was Tetsu, he’d given Daiki a perfectly bland, purely evil look and pushed him toward Kagami.

Kagami had been caught just as flat-footed, at least, and they’d stared at each other for a long, frozen moment. Tetsu had just stood there looking calm and expectant. It had been Kagami who’d broken first, scrubbing his hands through his hair with an aggravated sound. “Oh god, fine, just…” The look on his face when he’d closed the distance between them made Daiki expect something like their last kiss, something hard, but when Kagami caught his shoulder and leaned in his mouth had been light, almost hesitant. The word that came to mind, now, staring up at the lights running along the roof of the train, was gentle.

Daiki didn’t know whether to be charmed or outraged.

But he thought… he thought there might have been a time when he’d have kissed like that, too.

He didn’t know quite yet whether this was the right way to get back to what he’d had, with Tetsu, with his game, with his friends. But as he listened to the hum and clack of wheels on the tracks, he thought he was glad he’d reached out to include Kagami in it.

Aftermath

Tetsuya walked beside Taiga, smiling quietly. On reflection, he was glad Daiki had done what he had. Knowing he and Taiga had been together had given Tetsuya a bad moment, wondering whether he would be excluded from that the way he was from their one-on-one matches. Apparently, though, it had just been Daiki’s way of not making Tetsuya choose between them, and in the end Taiga had found a way to close the circle all the way and include Tetsuya in the matches too. It was the happy warmth of being with them like that that had made Tetsuya reach for Daiki when they parted, wanting to give the warmth back again.

It was that warmth that made him pause at the turn-off to Taiga’s street and look up at him, head tilted invitingly. It was hard to tell, in the dark, but he thought Taiga was blushing a little, and he had to smile. He reached out to rest a hand against his partner’s chest, feeling the quick rise of his breath. "Taiga."

Taiga made a quiet sound, reaching out to close his hands lightly on Tetsuya’s shoulders. "I miss hearing people say my name, you know. Nobody does, here."

"No one would take that liberty unless they were very close friends," Tetsuya agreed, and took a step closer. "Intimate friends." Yes, Taiga was definitely blushing, he noted with amusement. When one of Taiga’s hands slid up to cup his cheek lightly, he had to smile. "I’m not that breakable, you know."

"I know that," Taiga protested indignantly, though his hands didn’t tighten. "It’s just…" He huffed, looking aside for a moment. "This… it’s something people should take care, when they do."

Tetsuya softened at that. He wouldn’t have thought Taiga would be a romantic, but maybe it made sense. He was so pure-hearted; it was why Tetsuya had chosen him, after all. "It is," he agreed quietly, winding his arms comfortably around Taiga’s waist. Taiga relaxed and looked at him again, smiling back a little. When Taiga leaned down to him and carefully, gently tipped Tetsuya’s head back, Tetsuya let him, let himself rest against the warm support of Taiga’s arm around him, let himself kiss back softly.

The wonder in Taiga’s eyes, at the corners of his smile when they parted, made Tetsuya reach up, gentle in his turn, to brush back the wild mess of Taiga’s hair. The softness in Taiga’s voice when he said, "Tetsuya," made something catch in his chest. They stood wrapped up in each other for a long moment.

Finally, though, something occurred to Tetsuya and he cocked his head up at Taiga. "I doubt Daiki let you be careful."

Taiga growled. "He sure as hell didn’t. And, okay fine, it’s fun that way too, but it’s not like this!" His arms tightened around Tetsuya.

"Do you think it should be?" Tetsuya liked that thought; he wanted to see Daiki looking at him, at them, the way Taiga just had.

"Of course it should be!" Taiga was getting indignant again. "Otherwise it’s not special, it’s just fuck-buddies."

Tetsuya blinked a bit at that, but a smile spread over his lips. "I’m glad he thought of this at all, though."

Taiga looked down at him, quiet for a moment. "He wants you to be happy."

Tetsuya reached up and pulled Taiga down to another soft kiss. "I am."

And he’d be sure to tell Daiki so, too.

End

A/N: In hanakotoba, camellias indicate love and longing. In particular, white camellia indicates waiting for a beloved while red indicates current love.

Poppies in the Wind

One of the things Kise Ryouta actually liked about his new responsibilities as team captain was, ironically, one of the tedious chores. At the end of every practice, he made a round through the gym and locker room, making sure everything was put away, that all the water was turned off, shoo-ing any lingering club members out and closing up. The quiet of the sports building around him was soothing, and the little clicks of lights turning off and doors closing behind him gave him a comforting sense of orderliness. It meant he went home later than almost anyone else, but that wasn’t a problem for him. His mother knew exactly what kind of stress a model’s job was, and just told him to play as hard as he wanted in his off hours, and his father had nearly burst with pride that his son had been chosen as captain for his second year, and didn’t mind anything Ryouta did for the club. He could take as long as he wanted.

And sometimes staying later meant moments like this one, meant the warm steam of the showers around him and the cool of the tile wall under his palms, and the lean weight of Aomine against his back. Moments when there was no one else in the building to hear the sound he made as Aomine pressed two fingers, slick with soap, into Ryouta’s ass and rocked them in and out.

“Is that good?” Aomine purred in his ear, flexing his fingers a little. Ryouta let the shudder of response run up his spine, moaning.

“Yeah… yeah, it’s good.” And it was. His muscles were already warm and tired and lax after the one-on-one match they’d played after practice was over. It felt just right to let Aomine work these muscles open, too, long fingers fondling him from the inside. Aomine’s tongue stroked over his shoulder, lapping at the water running over them. Ryouta tipped his head back and sighed as the soft heat of Aomine’s tongue continued up his neck. “Nnn, Aominecchi…” He shuddered when Aomine’s teeth closed on his earlobe, tugging at his earring.

“I’m going to fuck you, Ryou,” Aomine murmured in his ear, twisting his fingers slowly in Ryouta’s ass. “Right up against the wall, hard and deep. You’ll like that, yeah?”

Yes,” Ryouta agreed fervently, pushing back onto Aomine’s fingers. “Aominecchi, come on…”

The husky laugh against his ear sent a shiver through him. “Sounds like you’re ready.” Ryouta made a petulant sound as Aomine’s fingers drew back, but relaxed easily enough into the arms that wound around him as Aomine pressed up full length against him.

“Hurry up, Aominecchi.” He flexed his hips to rub against the hardness of Aomine’s cock and grinned to himself at the catch in Aomine’s breathing.

“Pushy,” Aomine said against his neck. Ryouta’s eyes fell half closed with satisfaction as Aomine’s hands wrapped around his hips and that hardness shifted, pushing into him.

“Mmm, it gets me what I want,” he pointed out, husky with the feel of his body stretching open around Aomine’s cock. And then he moaned out loud as Aomine surged against him, driving in deep.

“If that’s what you want, why don’t I just give it to you?”

Ryouta made wordless, approving sounds in answer to that velvety suggestion, to the way the whole length of Aomine’s body flexed against his back, fucking him hard. This was good, this was what he wanted, to feel the full force of Aomine’s body moving against him. Every thrust drove a moan up his throat, rocked him up on his toes, and the little growls and gasps Aomine made against his shoulder, in the same time, just made it hotter. Ryouta braced his palms against the wall and pushed back to meet him, moaning as Aomine pulled him up higher and ground his hips in tight little circles against Ryouta’s ass, working his cock in deeper.

It was wild and hard and perfect, perfect to be fucked just as hard as they played, and Ryouta was gasping in the damp air, panting for breath as Aomine’s ruthless thrusts drove wanting sounds out of him. He would have been more than happy to have it go on, to take it until his legs just gave out, but feeling Aomine’s hand slide between his legs and wrap around his cock, pumping him hard, was sweet and intense. So he let himself go. He braced his feet and bucked between Aomine’s cock and his fist as he came, and let the pleasure storm through him. The sting of Aomine’s teeth on his shoulder, the jolt as his hips snapped forward, burying himself in Ryouta, put a gleaming edge on the heat wringing Ryouta’s nerves.

He leaned against the wall, eyes closed, as the rush of sensation slowly let him down again and he could feel Aomine leaning against his back, arms wrapped around him. “Mmmm,” he said at last. “That was good.”

Aomine laughed against his shoulder. “Glad you thought so. Because you’re really damn demanding.”

Ryouta snorted, not bothering to move otherwise. “You like it when people are demanding.”

Teeth tugged gently on his earlobe again, sending a little shiver down his spine. “And you seem to like it when I’m a little rough with you, so I guess it all works out.” He pulled back slowly, and Ryouta smiled a bit at the little twinge that ran down his legs. He stretched luxuriously and pushed himself upright, turning to glance impishly up at his friend.

“Sometimes, yeah.”

It was good, sometimes, to let all his control, all his sunny charm, even the honed edge he showed on the court, rest for a while. Good to just let go and move, just feel and chase after sensation. It was one kind of rest, and it kept him from thinking too much.

Maybe some of that showed in his expression, tonight, because Aomine shook his head, smile gone crooked, and stepped close again. His hand was warm at the small of Ryouta’s back, supporting him as Aomine leaned down and kissed him, easy and slow. “Think you can sleep, now?”

Ryouta softened. “Aominecchi.” He linked his hands behind Aomine’s neck, leaning against him for a long moment. “Yeah, I think so. Thanks.”

Now Aomine’s mouth curved in a classic Aominecchi smirk. “My pleasure.”

Ryouta laughed and ducked back under the water. Aomine joined him with the soap, retrieved from the corner where it had been kicked, and they stole it back and forth from each other, snickering over their own horseplay. Ryouta relaxed into the familiarity, the old friendship worn in over years. He completely understood why Kuroko had been willing to fight for this, why he’d fought so hard to pull them all back to him. Perhaps Ryouta could learn from him, and fight to keep his new friendships here at Kaijou. After all, he had this with Aomine even though they were at different schools now. Couldn’t it happen with other teammates too?

He leaned against Aomine under the warm spray and held the thought tight.

End

A/N: In hanakotoba, poppies have a variety of meanings, most having to do with joy or enjoyment.

Redoubled Peonies

Aomine Daiki was a cynical sort of guy these days, so he wasn’t really surprised when Imayoshi-san started showing up at club practices as soon as the national exams were over. Imayoshi-san was a bit like Daiki, really; he got bored without a challenge. Besides, Wakamatsu seemed happy enough to have his ‘advice’, so who cared?

At least that was what Daiki thought until Imayoshi-san decided his next challenge would be Daiki.

“We’re what?” he asked, really, really hoping he’d heard that wrong.

Imayoshi-san spread his hands, smiling innocently. “It will be the best thing for everyone, don’t you think?”

“Wait, wait.” Kagami was frowning a little, but not enough yet. “Us against everyone? You mean… me and Kuroko and Aomine against the rest of the whole club?”

“Only the first string,” Imayoshi-san assured him, as if that made anything more reasonable. “Probably only ten or so. So they get to practice stopping the kind of opponents you are, and you get a bigger challenge than usual.” He had the gall to smile even wider at Daiki and finish softly, “You like challenges, right?”

Daiki very definitely wasn’t looking at Tetsu to see what he might think about playing together again after the way Daiki had left him out in the cold their third year. Just thinking about that, about Tetsu’s reasons for turning to Seirin and Kagami, made Daiki twitchy, so he’d been trying not to. So much for that plan.

“This isn’t your business,” he snarled at Imayoshi.

“Whose is it, then?” Imayoshi-san asked, head cocked as if he were genuinely curious.

“No one’s!”

Imayoshi slanted a glance to the side, where Daiki knew Tetsu was standing. “No one’s?”

The urge to violence surged up in Daiki’s veins, like it hadn’t since summer, and he took one long step forward, hands curling into fists.

“Aomine-kun.” Tetsu’s voice cut across his fury like a dash of cold water in the face. “I don’t mind.” Tetsu stepped up beside him, looking up at him quietly. “Do you?”

“It isn’t…!” Daiki took a breath with one last glare at that bastard Imayoshi for pushing them into this. “Are you sure?” Sure it was all right, sure they could even try this after so long with Daiki playing solo, sure Tetsu had forgiven him that much, sure he’d forgiven Tetsu for taking a new partner. He was going to wring Imayoshi’s fucking neck for making him ask these things in front of other people, no matter how obliquely.

“We can try.” While Daiki tried not to wince at the ruthless honesty of that answer, Tetsu looked questioningly at his current partner. “Kagami-kun?”

Kagami was watching the two of them warily. “I dunno what you two are going on about now, but yeah. We can give it a shot.” He eyed Daiki more pointedly. “As long as you’re not an asshole about hogging the ball.”

“Tetsu decides,” Daiki said flatly. Didn’t Kagami at least know that much, after playing with Tetsu this long? Well, maybe he just didn’t think Daiki had known it, because he was looking more thoughtful. Daiki supposed he couldn’t completely blame Kagami for doubting that Daiki would follow Tetsu’s passes, considering he’d never seen them play together. He was in a bad enough mood over all this to glare at Kagami anyway.

Kagami just nodded, ignoring the glare. “Okay, sounds good.”

Imayoshi-san actually clapped his fucking hands. “Excellent! May I join in for this one?” he asked, turning to Wakamatsu.

“Might as well.” Their new captain looked sardonic, like he knew perfectly well this was an Imayoshi-special bit of manipulation, which suggested he had more brain cells than Daiki usually gave him credit for. He raised his voice and yelled, “Okay, first string out on the court; if you ever wanted revenge on Aomine, today’s your lucky day!”

Tense as he was, Daiki still snorted disdainfully. As if.

“I don’t think we should allow that, if we’re playing on the same side for this game,” Tetsu said, thoughtfully but with a glint in his eye, and Kagami grinned, cracking his knuckles.

“Yeah, I’m thinking not.”

A corner of Daiki’s mouth curled up, despite it all, as that familiar merciless attitude wrapped around him like a well-worn jacket. “All right. Let’s show ’em, then.”

As the three of them strode onto the court, he tried hard to remember how it had felt to play with Tetsu before their opponents had all given up and dropped him into the dark. What he remembered most, right now, was how Tetsu had valued their combination. Their teamwork. Exactly what Daiki was out of practice with. This was going to be more than a little strange, he was pretty sure.


Taiga was getting more and more weirded out, as this odd practice game got going. It wasn’t that they had no outside at all, even with Kuroko as their sort-of-point-guard. It wasn’t that Aomine was a a ball-hog, because with at least three marks on each of them at all times even he had to pass now and then. It wasn’t that half the ‘team’ against them now knew exactly how Kuroko operated and were a lot harder for him to get past than any other players would be. It wasn’t even watching their opponents’ double size team trip over each other now and then, though that was really funny and kind of distracting when it happened.

No. It was that Aomine was stumbling.

He kept hesitating in the middle of a move, jerking up short for a split second, which was all it took to get him marked again most of the time. The more he watched, the more Taiga thought Aomine was fighting his own reflexes, hesitating because he was trying to do two things at once. His foot would shift to cut while his hand shifted to pass, and neither happened. He’d already been called twice for holding the ball too long. Touou’s pink-haired menace of a manager was chewing her lip as she watched.

And Kuroko was tense.

Taiga knew Kuroko and Aomine had a lot of history to work out. He wasn’t throwing stones, not after Kuroko had been so good about him and Tatsuya. But he was getting pretty tired of watching Aomine fight with himself instead of the opponents. When the score was flipped over to show the other side ten points up on them, he finally gave up and stalked over to Aomine.

“Do you want to win this damn game or not?” he snapped, hauling Aomine nose-to-nose by the front of his shirt. “Unless you’ve lost your mind and decided losing is actually fun get your damn head in the game and trust your team to want to win too!”

Aomine had his mouth open to snarl back, and it stayed that way for a moment. Finally, he broke Taiga’s grip absently, looking down at Kuroko. “Interesting partner you found,” he said at last, almost mild.

Kuroko was smiling. “I thought so, too.”

Aomine blew out a breath and ran a hand through his hair. “So. You want to win too, huh?”

Taiga rolled his eyes; sometimes he thought there must have been something in the water at Teikou. Asshole extract or brainless juice or something. “What the hell do you think?”

“I wasn’t asking you.”

Something dark flickered through Kuroko’s eyes as he looked up at Aomine. Quietly, he answered, “Did you think I wouldn’t?”

Aomine winced just a little. “Yeah, okay. Sorry.” After another long moment of him and Kuroko looking at each other he said softly, “Trust you to want to win. I can do that, yeah.”

Kuroko’s shoulders finally settled into their normal line, and he nodded to Aomine like they were sealing a deal.

“You guys still playing or what?” Wakamatsu called, and Aomine bared his teeth.

“Playing.”

The word hit the air of the court like a challenge, and Taiga smiled. That was more like it. He grabbed the ball and threw it in to Kuroko as Aomine loped back down the court. Kuroko spun and the ball screamed down the court after him. Aomine caught it, feinted forward, left, passed it fluidly back to Kuroko, cut past two of his markers and caught the ball again.

All without even looking around to see if Kuroko was there.

Taiga felt a little like he had the first time he’d seen Kuroko on the court, from the sidelines. Stunned breathless just because what he saw was that fine. If this was what Kuroko had been used to, with Aomine, no wonder he’d been so furious to lose it, so determined to get it back, so tense when it had looked like Aomine might not be able to get back here himself. Almost—almost—Taiga wanted to hold back, to not break that flow between them.

But Aomine slammed the ball in and Kuroko stepped into the path of the other side’s throw in, perfect and inevitable, and it was Taiga he turned to as he spun to pass the ball. As if he’d known already exactly where Taiga would be.

Taiga laughed and ducked past Aomine’s screen to drive for the basket.


Many people saw, and remarked on, how Tetsuya supported his teammates, how their strength increased as soon as he was on the court. Tetsuya thought he might be the only one who really understood how the reverse was also true. It was subtler for him, of course, but just as absolute. Without the trust of his teammates, his game was blunted, even if, mechanically, nothing seemed to be changed. His style of play required him to be aware of everyone on the court, to hold them in his mental hands at all times, and he needed his teammates to reach back to him before he could grasp them firmly. If they didn’t, if they hesitated, his game broke.

The reverse side of that, of course, was that when they did reach back nothing could break his hold on them. Nothing at all.

He could almost feel the weight of Kagami and Aomine in his hands, the way he could the weight of the ball. This, he knew, was why his game matched so well with Aomine’s. This was how Aomine felt the court itself, the space of it and the people in it. Kagami, on the other hand, he matched with because Kagami gave trust the way he needed it, gave it as easily as breathing. Tetsuya had never been more grateful for that than he was today. He was wringing wet and his breath was rasping in his lungs, he could feel the burn in his legs that would turn to watery, trembling muscles soon, and he never wanted to stop. The ball burned through his hands, heavy with the ferocity of his partners, and he gave his own fire to it and sent it back to them. Kagami’s teeth were bared as he jumped for the basket, kicking off the grip of gravity.

Aomine was laughing.

Tetsuya didn’t want this to stop.

All games stopped some time, though, and this one was only supposed to last twenty minutes. When Touou’s coach called the end, Tetsuya braced his hands on his shaking knees, head down, gasping for breath. The corners of his mouth curved up uncontrollably.

They had won by eighteen points.

“All right, there?” Imayoshi-san asked softly, stopping beside him for a moment. Tetsuya slowly pulled himself back upright, hauling himself up by his pride.

“I know how to pace myself with players like them.”

“I’m sure you do, when you bother to,” Imayoshi-san murmured, giving him a cheerful smile completely at odds with the implied scolding.

Tetsuya lifted his chin a little. “You were the one who started this, Imayoshi-san.” He hadn’t missed that Imayoshi-san had known Aomine wouldn’t want to play like this. He didn’t have any problem with Aomine’s ex-captain looking after the development of his players, but he didn’t think it was reasonable to then object to what Tetsuya had to do to make it work.

“That’s why I’m saying something.” Imayoshi-san looked at Tetsuya for a long moment and finally shook his head, obviously amused. “More stubborn than both of them put together, aren’t you, despite all the polite words? Well, I suppose I can’t disapprove. Just use a little of it to look after yourself, too.” He patted Tetsuya’s shoulder and wandered off to where Wakamatsu-san was talking to the coach.

Just in time for Tetsuya to lose his breath and stumble a step forward under the combined impact of an arm around his neck and a hand slapping his back.

“Tetsu!”

“That was fantastic!”

Tetsuya turned to see both his partners grinning, lit up with victory. More than one kind of victory, today, he thought, just as Imayoshi-san had intended. Perhaps… perhaps he could have one more for himself—for himself and for his partners. He smiled back at them, and held out both fists.

There was one frozen moment while Aomine wavered again, the way he had earlier in the game, and Kagami glanced between them with sudden hesitation, while Aomine’s eyes cut toward Kagami and away, darkening, while Tetsuya told his heart sternly that it was too soon to feel chilled, this could still work out…

The relief when Aomine and Kagami both reached out and bumped their fists against his nearly made his knees give out. He might even have showed it, because there was a flash of worry in Kagami’s expression and a flash of what might be shame in Aomine’s. Tetsuya straightened his spine, as contained and sure as possible, and let himself feel a softer wave of relief when they both relaxed. As they all turned toward the wall where bags and water bottles were tossed, Tetsuya’s gaze crossed Imayoshi-san’s, and the impressed arch of his brows added a sharper edge to Tetsuya’s satisfaction.

Whatever he and Kagami and Aomine might become to each other now, Tetsuya would make it work out.


Daiki lay on his bed, that night, arms folded behind his head, staring up at the shadows of the ceiling. Playing on a team with Tetsu again, however irregular, had been strange. Hard. It had hurt, trying to remember how they had fit together, trying to move like that again, feeling how far he’d come from that. He’d felt like he was groping for something in the dark, something that he thought should be there but wasn’t sure of. Looking at Tetsu’s shoulders drawing tighter and tighter, at Tetsu’s carefully blank expression, had made something curl up small in his chest. And then Kagami, of all people, had been the one to see it, to see what Daiki was missing, what he hadn’t remembered because he remembered too clearly why Tetsu had left.

Tetsu loved to win.

Tetsu wouldn’t hold back for any reason, during a game. He would be there.

It had been like a bone, no, like the whole world snapping back into place. And that had hurt, too, but the perfect balance of knowing Tetsu would be there on the court was stronger. It was so good to feel that. So good that, when the game ended, Daiki had wanted to keep feeling it however he could.

He’d almost kissed Tetsu right there in the middle of the gym.

He’d felt Tetsu lean into his arm, too, for one moment; he didn’t think Tetsu would have minded. But Kagami had been there, and Daiki hadn’t held on when Tetsu stepped free, and Tetsu had held out a fist to each of them. To both of them.

Daiki scowled up at the ceiling. He wanted to keep feeling that bond with Tetsu, but Kagami obviously had to be taken into account. This might take some thinking about.


Taiga watched Kuroko out of the corner of his eye, on the ride home, wondering.

Thinking about it now, he was stunned by how Aomine had opened up in the second half of their game. At the time, in the heat of the moment, it has seemed perfectly natural, but he’d looked so different like that. Not innocent, Taiga nearly snorted at the very thought, but… open. Lit up and laughing, and yeah there’d been an edge of wildness in it but hell, it wasn’t any more than Taiga felt in himself when a game heated up. What there hadn’t been was the desperation that he remembered from the spring and winter, or the cold containment he remembered seeing off the court. When they’d both pounced on Kuroko after the match ended, Taiga had almost expected that open, grinning Aomine to pull Kuroko all the way against him and mess up his hair or something. And then, again, Taiga had had a moment of wondering whether he should step back a little.

When Kuroko had turned and held out his fists to them, and Aomine had checked so abruptly… then Taiga had very nearly stepped forward instead, to catch his partner. He hadn’t quite realized how good he’d gotten at reading Kuroko until he’d seen the hope in Kuroko’s small smile, the fear and determination in his eyes at Aomine’s hesitation. He’d wanted to whack Aomine one for being such an idiot. He’d wanted…

He’d wanted to hold Kuroko.

Alex had teased him before about being overprotective. He supposed she’d been right. But wasn’t it only fair? Didn’t Kuroko protect him, all of the team really but Taiga especially, protect his game and his heart from whatever the hell had happened to Aomine?

Now he was wondering. Would Kuroko let Taiga protect him in return?


Tetsuya parted from Kagami with a quiet nod and continued on his way home, thoughtful.

He knew both his partners well, had to know them to play the way he did with them, and it wasn’t as though either of them was being especially subtle right now. The way their shoulders had pressed against his as they’d all sat on the sidelines drinking and cooling down before the next drill, the way Aomine had returned again and again to drape an arm around his neck, the way Kagami had stayed close all the way home… it wasn’t something Tetsuya had thought much about before, because Kagami was so casual and rough and Aomine had been separated from him. But he thought about it now, about the new layer to his awareness of their bodies next to his. About Taiga’s warmth and Daiki’s intensity.

Perhaps… yes. Perhaps he would like to hold that part of them, too.

The lights were on when he got home, and he called as he toed off his shoes, “I’m home!”

“Welcome back,” his mother’s voice answered from the living room, cheerful despite the worn edge.

Tetsuya looked in to see his mother, still in a tailored business suit, leaning back in her arm chair with her slippered feet resting on the table. “Did you just get home?”

She smiled, small and soft and weary, the way she only ever did when they were alone. “Just half an hour ago, yes. My flight out of Shanghai was delayed.”

Tetsuya nodded and padded through to the kitchen to pour two glasses of water and a smaller glass of her Yamazaki whisky. His mother laughed softly when he brought the tray out to the table and handed her the small glass. “I have the best son in the world.” She ran her fingers gently through his hair. “And you’re smiling. Did something good happen today?”

Tetsuya let the smile grow, just for her, looking up from where he knelt beside the table. “Yes. I think it did.”

“Aomine-kun?” she guessed. “Today was a Touou day, wasn’t it?”

“Aomine-kun… and Kagami-kun,” he agreed softly, looking down at his fingers wound around his water glass.

His mother was silent for a long moment. Finally, she touched his cheek, fingers light. “Be careful with yourself, Tetsuya.”

He’d known for a long time that he had learned to read people from his mother.

“I will be,” he promised, looking up again. “I found them for each other, but… they’re both my partners.” Personally, he couldn’t see any good reason to let either of them go.

A sparkle lit her eyes, at that. “That’s my boy.” She leaned down and kissed his forehead. “Hold on to what’s yours, and never mind the ones who say you shouldn’t.”

He nodded and slid up onto the couch beside her chair. “So how did your trip go? Your texts had a lot of grimace-faces in them.”

She flung herself back in her chair and took a substantial swallow of her whisky. “Every time I have to deal with one of Guotai Junan, it’s the same…!”

Tetsuya leaned his chin on his hand and listened. Not that he knew a thing about investment banking or corporate contract law, but this was what he and his mother did—listened for each other. It was also, now he thought about it, what he and Kagami did. Perhaps it was what he and Aomine could learn to do properly, now.

The thought made him smile.

End

A/N: In hanakotoba, peonies indicate courage.

Anemone In Sunlight

Almost two months after the Winter Cup, Riko gathered her club around her at the end of practice, grim and serious. “All right, everyone, listen up. We have a problem.” Hyuuga stood at her side looking equally grim; he’d heard the news already. She didn’t honestly think she’d be able to make it through this without his support, and she was grateful for it, but that didn’t make telling the club any easier. Riko took a deep breath, meeting the suddenly worried eyes of her boys one by one.

“Teppei’s surgery was definitely a success, and he’s coming back.”

Silence fell over the court for a long moment before it was broken by the first-years, with explosive sighs and little laughs.

“Jeez, don’t try to scare us like that!” Kagami told her. “You should be smiling for good news!” He paused, looking around at the second-years, who were all frowning or biting their lips or shaking their heads. “…isn’t it?”

“Kiyoshi is impossible during rehab,” Hyuuga informed him darkly. “As soon as he sets foot on the floor-boards, he’ll be trying to do more than he should.” He snorted bitterly. “He’ll try to pass it off as ‘just demonstrating’ but if you let him get away with that he’ll be doing moves at full speed before you turn around.”

“That’s the reason none of you even met him before summer,” Izuki put in. “Hyuuga threatened to throw him out of the gym if he showed up before his rehabilitation was complete, and Kiyoshi’s therapist agreed.”

“And now,” Riko finished, “he’s sent me this.” She held up her phone to show the message she’d gotten this afternoon.

Doctor says light training OK! See you soon! ^_^b

Her year-mates contemplated the screen with dread, and even the first-years were starting to look suitably worried. Riko blew out a breath, stuffing the phone away and staring at the floor for a long moment, hands on her hips. “It would have been easier if he’d had the same therapist as he had last time. She understood what he was like. But now he’s gotten the go-ahead to come back, and it’s up to us to keep him from tearing his knee up again before it fully heals.”

“Oh man,” Koganei moaned, flopping back against the stage. “We’re supposed to stop Kiyoshi?”

“The down-side of Iron Heart,” Izuki agreed, nibbling a thumbnail.

“Which is why it’s going to take all of us!” Hyuuga rallied them. “Everyone needs to keep an eye on him, and if he tries something he’s not supposed to yet… well, do whatever you have to.”

A daunted silence fell until Kuroko broke it, stepping forward and raising a hand politely. “What is Kiyoshi-senpai allowed to do?”

Riko growled with remembered aggravation. “His therapist says that for the next two months he can do light jogging, no sprinting, no cutting, no jumping. He can do the pool exercises and stationary shooting practice, though we’ll probably have to nail his feet to the floor for that one. No squats, no lateral exercises.” And the stupid man had actually seemed to believe this would be possible to enforce when Teppei was attending practice.

“And we can do whatever is necessary to make sure Kiyoshi-senpai doesn’t over work?”

Riko blinked and looked more closely at Kuroko. He looked back, perfectly level and calm—just as calm as he’d been when, now she remembered, he downed Kagami by the ankles to keep him from punching another player and getting thrown out of the game. Riko smiled slowly. “Well, I don’t think you want to be quite as rough with him as you are with Kagami-kun,” she said thoughtfully. “But yes. Whatever is necessary.”

The other second-years were starting to grin, too.

Kuroko nodded. “Of course.” He turned to look up at his partner. “Kagami-kun.”

Kagami folded his arms, looking down at Kuroko. “You want me to help you assault our senpai.” It was a statement, if a slightly dubious one, not a question. Riko reflected with some amusement on how good Kagami had gotten at translating Kuroko’s not-quite-orders.

“Just restrain, unless it’s really necessary,” Kuroko corrected, matter-of-fact.

Kagami snorted, half laughing. “Yeah, sure, why not.”

“Good attitude there,” Hyuuga approved with a certain glint in his eye, no doubt at the thought of Kagami sitting on Teppei or some such.

Riko clapped her hands. “All right! If we can keep Teppei from doing anything too outstandingly stupid for the next six months, we might be able to have him back on the team for the Winter Cup next year. Let’s do this!”

Her club chorused back agreement, and she felt about as good as she could over the whole prospect. Which still meant a lot of worry in the back of her mind. So when Hyuuga nudged her shoulder, while they closed up, and said, “We should go see him now, and let him know he’s not getting away with anything,” she was glad.

She really didn’t think she could do this without Hyuuga. He was better at shouting than she was, and she had a feeling there would need to be shouting.

“This is going to be such a nightmare,” she muttered into her coat collar as they left campus, fists jammed into her pockets. “Why couldn’t his physical therapist have seen what he’s like?”

“Because he looks all laid back and easygoing, even when he’s steam-rolling over top of you,” Hyuuga answered dryly. His hand rested on her shoulder for a few steps. “Don’t worry. The club knows what he’s like.”

“And thank goodness for that!” She snorted softly. “And for Kuroko-kun being used to dealing with difficult players, I suppose.”

It didn’t take long to get to Teppei’s house, and his grandparents were used to seeing her. Riko chatted politely, keeping an ear out for the sound she was positive they would hear soon. Sure enough, there it was—a brisk but slightly uneven step outside the little sitting room. Teppei appeared in the doorway and promptly lit up.

“Hey, I didn’t expect to see you guys until tomorrow! You didn’t need to come by just to congratulate me.”

Riko showed him her teeth, not that that ever really worked on Teppei but she wanted him to know she was serious. “Oh, it wasn’t any trouble at all. Really.”

Teppei’s grandmother smiled at them indulgently. “Here’s the person you really came to see. Run along, dear.”

Riko extracted them with a few more pleasantries, and she and Hyuuga herded Teppei down the hall to his room. She watched closely while Teppei pulled out some cushions for them and gave Hyuuga a taut nod: Teppei’s knee was still weak and he was wincing when he flexed it too far. Hyuuga sighed and thumped down cross legged on the cushion to Teppei’s left.

“You know what we’re here for, so don’t give me any innocent-idiot looks,” he ordered. “We’re going to keep you from overworking that knee if we have to tie you up and hang you from the gym rafters, understand?”

“The whole club is in agreement,” Riko put in, “so don’t think you’ll get away with anything.” Still in her uniform skirt, she folded her legs under her and gave Teppei an extra glare to make up for the demure position.

Teppei eased himself down, leg stretched out straight; she approved of that at least, if not the big simpleton smile he gave them. “I won’t give you any trouble, I promise! The surgery was a success, after all.”

Hyuuga scrubbed his hands furiously through his hair, turning it wilder than usual. “That! That! Don’t you dare give me that! Not after the bullshit you pulled during the tournament this year, and do you know how close you came to needing replacement surgery?!” He rocked up onto his knees, pointing a rigid finger at Teppei. “I’m keeping you from doing that again if I have to break your other leg, got it?!”

Riko hoped ruefully that Teppei’s grandparents wouldn’t mind the way Hyuuga’s voice was echoing down the hall. On the other hand, if Teppei’s sense of humor ran in the family, maybe they’d just be amused.

Teppei wasn’t laughing, though. He was looking up at Hyuuga with a small smile and soft eyes. “Thank you for being worried about me.”

Hyuuga’s outrage collapsed and he slumped back down, looking away. “I’m not worried, I’m pissed off,” he muttered, and Riko just had to roll her eyes. When Hyuuga looked back at Teppei, though, the pain and worry darkening his eyes were so obvious it made her breath catch, and she saw Teppei’s hand twitch, starting to reach out before he stopped himself.

Abruptly, Riko decided she’d had enough. She’d watched them dance this dance for two years now, circling around their love of the game, and the friction between their different ways of being serious, and the brilliant liquid flow of their teamwork together on the court—always partners and never saying it, Hyuuga never admitting why Teppei got under his skin, Teppei never pushing. That was more than long enough. “Okay, look,” she sighed, “you two are boys, and therefore idiots, so I’m going to help you out here.” She leaned over and gave Hyuuga a shove toward Teppei. “Just kiss him already!”

They both gaped at her. Boys; honestly.

“But I… you…” Hyuuga sputtered. “Riko, you’re…”

She scooted her cushion across the floor until she could take his shoulders. “Hyuuga-kun,” she interrupted gently. “How long have we been friends?”

“Seven years, now, I guess,” he answered slowly, frowning at her. She shook him a little.

“You don’t honestly think you’re going to lose me if you and Teppei finally make this official, do you?”

He looked down at her and asked quietly, “Just friends?”

Riko bit her lip. “I can’t be on the court with you.” And she’s always known that was what would make the critical difference, with Hyuuga, basketball idiot that he was even when he was in denial about it. It was why Teppei had reached him, two years ago, when she hadn’t been able to.

“You’re our coach, of course you’re with me on the court,” Hyuuga argued stubbornly. “Riko… you can’t tell me we aren’t sharing our thoughts, out there.”

“As captain and coach, sure, but—”

“Riko, you know I wouldn’t get in between you and Hyuuga,” Teppei cut in, so earnestly that both she and Hyuuga glared at him.

“You keep quiet!” they snapped together, and Teppei smiled and held up his hands peaceably.

“Definitely sharing your thoughts,” he murmured, though.

Riko froze, staring at him. He smiled back, calm and sunny, and she knew perfectly well that he was trying to give this to her, give Hyuuga to her. But his words made her think of something different.

Sharing. Sharing thoughts. Sharing feelings, all right, yes, she admitted she and Hyuuga had been very close for a long time, even if it always seemed to be other players who held the hottest parts of his attention. She knew they’d shared the same feelings when Teppei was hurt. If they felt the same way… If they both felt the same way…

She looked back and forth between Hyuuga and Teppei, thoughtfully. Hyuuga, who she’d known since elementary school, who was passionate about things the same way she was, who thought with her and followed her and looked at her with a hidden smile in his eyes. Teppei, who tried to fit years of living and knowing into months, who burned so bright under his easy smile that he’d drawn both Riko and Hyuuga in, who had wanted her fire, and Hyuuga’s, wanted them so much it made her heart hurt to think about. Slowly, Riko smiled.

“That could work,” she finally pronounced.

Hyuuga, with years of experience, was instantly wary. “What could work?”

Riko folded her hands demurely. “Sharing.”

Hyuuga frowned at Teppei, who blinked back at him, equally puzzled. “Sharing wha… wait.” Hyuuga’s eyes widened. “Kantoku. You’re not thinking what I think you’re thinking are you?”

He was actually blushing, and Riko grinned. “Why not?”

“Why not?” Hyuuga waved his hands as if to indicate the enormity of ‘why’, and Riko reached out to catch one.

He stilled at once.

She took a deep breath and reached out her other hand to lay it over Teppei’s. “Why not?” she asked again, softer, looking back and forth between them. The thought unfolded wider and wider in her head until it felt like it was taking over her heart, too. Something that wouldn’t make Hyuuga choose. That wouldn’t leave her out. That wouldn’t make Teppei do anything stupid like sacrificing what he wanted. Teppei turned his hand over to hold hers, and hope leaped up, only to crash headlong into his earnest, understanding smile.

“Riko, you’re the one Hyuuga wants, not me.”

Riko was pulling in a deep, deep breath to argue, or maybe to scream a bit first, when Hyuuga made an intensely aggravated sound.

“You don’t believe in yourself,” he stormed at Teppei. “You never believe in yourself! Everyone else in the whole universe, you can believe in, but never yourself! Idiot!” His free hand flashed out, catching a fistful of Teppei’s shirt, and he growled, “I told you once that I’d believe for you. Fine. I can do it again.” He hauled Teppei to him, or maybe himself to Teppei, and kissed him fiercely.

Riko had to blink back a sudden rush of tears at that, and blotted them with the back of her hand, not letting go of Teppei. “Boys,” she whispered. “Such idiots.”

She’d been right after all; she couldn’t do this without Hyuuga.

Teppei just stared as Hyuuga drew back to glare at him, which did nothing to hide how flushed he was now. “But…” Teppei started, low and hesitant. “Is it really…?” He looked over at Riko, who gave him an only slightly watery smile and scooted closer so she could lean against his shoulder.

“Yeah,” she said softly. “Really.” The careful way Teppei wrapped an arm around her, and the wonder in his eyes when he looked down at her, nearly made her cry again. So she tugged on Hyuuga’s hand, and grinned up at him. “So hey. Where’s my kiss?”

Hyuuga turned twice as red, and Teppei stifled a laugh against her hair. But after a deep breath, Hyuuga leaned in with one hand still braced on Teppei’s shoulder and kissed her very softly. The tenderness of it made her blush a little, too.

The sight of both of them flustered seemed to bring Teppei back a bit to his normal self, and he declared brightly. “Well then! Let’s have an excellent springtime of our youth!” He grinned innocently at their expressions.

Riko exchanged a look of perfect understanding and agreement with Hyuuga, and they both tackled Teppei to the floor, ticking him mercilessly. When his grandmother came to ask whether Riko and Hyuuga would stay for dinner they were in a tangle of cushions, Teppei’s hair wildly rumpled, and Hyuuga’s glasses knocked askew.

All of three them were laughing.

End

A/N: In hanakotoba, anemone indicate sincerity.

Bellflowers Ring Silently

Aida Riko didn’t like Momoi Satsuki. The girl was far too presumptuous, for one thing, and for another all of Riko’s idiot boys were too busy ogling Momoi every time they met to remember that this was a scout, this was a spy, this was the enemy, with a better analytical head on her shoulders than even Teppei. It wasn’t better than Riko’s, though, which was why she had the sense to be wary. So when her phone chimed in the middle of practice, and the name at the top of the message was Momoi’s, Riko was instantly on guard.

And then she read it and was just puzzled.

Send dai-chan back pls. Captain very upset.

“Who on earth…?” Riko muttered to herself, frowning. It took a minute to connect Dai-chan with Aomine Daiki, and then she rolled her eyes.

Middle of practice. she sent back. Why would he be he

“You guys are still going? Jeez, take a break already.”

Riko glanced up at the unfamiliar voice, and her thumb skidded across her phone when she saw Aomine Daiki leaning around the outside door, eyeing Seirin’s practice with disgruntlement.

“Aomine-kun,” Kuroko greeted him, a little breathless where he was chinning himself up on the bars set into the wall, as per Riko’s orders. “Are you skipping practice again?”

“Yes, he is,” Riko snapped. “And apparently his captain is angry about it, which I can completely understand.”

Aomine just flicked his fingers carelessly, downright lounging in the door frame. “He gets pissed off over everything.” Then he paused and cocked his head at her. “How do you know?”

Riko waved her phone. “Your keeper texted, asking us to send you back.” Then she saw her screen and paused to glare at it. She’d hit send when Aomine startled her, and now Momoi had replied, Told you so.

“Satsuki’s always interfering,” Aomine said, watching her under his lashes. “No reason to do her errands for her, right?”

Riko hesitated, torn between not wanting to do Momoi’s errands and being a responsible coach, and also being annoyed that this too-tall, too-talented brat had seen exactly how she was feeling.

“Aomine!” Kagami had finally noticed their visitor, and stopped noticing anything else including the formation he was supposed to be practicing. The ball flew straight past him as he stepped toward the doors, showing his teeth. “Here for a rematch?”

“Isn’t that supposed to be for the one who lost?” Aomine shot back with a lazy, equally toothy, smile. “Last I checked, that was you.”

“Try me again!”

Riko rubbed her forehead. “Both of you shut up!” she barked. “Kagami, get back to work or I’ll triple your training drills! And you,” she rounded on Aomine, who had the good sense to look just a little uneasy as she marched towards him. “If you want a match with any of my players, you can just get your coach to set it up with me. Now out!” She body-checked him out the door, ignoring his squawk of protest. “You have your own practice to be at.”

“But the drills are boring.” He gave her a downright pleading look that nearly made her doubt her own memory of him on the court, as dark and sharp there as he was open and entreating now. “Just one match?”

She could hear Kagami, inside, asking Hyuuga the same thing, and scrubbed a hand over her face. “If you wait quietly out here and don’t interfere,” she said, irresistibly reminded of certain small cousins she’d babysat for, and negotiations over bedtime, “you can have a one-on-one after practice ends. A short one.”

He grinned at her, bright and happy and wicked around the edges. “Okay!” He hopped up to sit on the edge of the tall planters that lined the walk around the building.

Riko shook her head and went back in, closing the door firmly behind her. Maybe Momoi deserved more credit than she’d thought, if she had to manage that one every day. She looked up to see Kagami, Kagami of all people! giving her puppy-dog eyes.

“Kantoku?” he asked, hopefully.

“You really are like a pair of little kids,” she sighed. “After practice. If you pay attention.”

Kagami brightened up just like Aomine had. “Yes, ma’am!” He bounded back to his place on the court, and Riko exchanged a look of helpless amusement with Hyuuga.

At least Kuroko was still calmly working through his repetitions on the bars, even if there was a tiny smile playing around the corners of his mouth.

Not coming back, Riko texted Momoi. Promised 121 later to stop him interfering. Cptn should put leash on him.

Will go shopping today, came back, and even in a text message Riko could tell she was exasperated. She sympathized.


Can put him in your practice? Momoi sent, hopefully, two weeks (and three more visits) later.

Riko stabbed at her phone in aggravation. Show opponent all our tactics, sure right.

Trade. Will put kagamin in our practice when he comes.

Riko blinked at the text in disbelief. “What is this supposed to be, foreign exchange?” Why would kagami be at touou?

All Momoi sent back was:

Riko pursed her lips, looking up at her court, where Kagami and Aomine were dodging around each other, ball flashing through their hands almost faster than the eye could follow. Finally Aomine broke past Kagami and made a clean shot. “I win,” he said, as he landed. “Again.”

“Once more!” Kagami shot back, teeth bared at Aomine even though his eyes were practically sparkling.

Aomine smirked. “You’re way more than one down, you know.”

“Either say no, or gimme the damn ball.”

Aomine bounced the ball across to Kagami, laughing.

Hyuuga, the only one who had stayed late with her to watch, shook his head in disbelief. “I think I love basketball as much as the next person…”

“The next basketball idiot anyway,” she agreed, flipping her phone closed with a sigh.

He ignored that, or maybe just accepted it; Hyuuga was a smart guy sometimes. “…but those two are something else. I think Kagami has actually skipped a meal for this.”

Riko thought about that, and looked down at her phone, and turned around to bang her head against the gymnasium stage a few times. “Why does she have to be right about this?” she asked, muffled. If Kagami was willing to skip meals to play Aomine it wouldn’t take long at all before he really was sneaking off to Touou for more.

“Momoi-san predicted it?” a quiet voice asked from right beside her, and Riko jumped. Right. Of course Kuroko had also stayed behind to watch. It was her own fault for not paying attention, the way she’d learned to during practice itself. She took a long breath to slow her heart rate back down, and managed not to glare when she looked up. Kuroko was perched on the edge of the stage, looking down at her with wide, steady eyes. “Momoi-san knows Aomine-kun very well. And Kagami-kun is a lot like him.”

“I noticed.” Riko turned around again, letting her shoulders thump back against the stage, and accepted the silent support of Hyuuga’s arm pressed against hers. “So, yes, he probably will be sneaking off to Touou pretty soon, now.” How was she going to manage this? It wouldn’t be an entirely bad thing if it weren’t for Kagami’s strategic obliviousness…

“We have a leash for the dog, we can get one for Kagami too,” Hyuuga said darkly, and Riko grinned up at him. Great minds thought alike.

After a long moment, Kuroko spoke up again. “Aomine-kun is a better analyst than Kagami-kun, right now.”

Kuroko saw the real problem too. “Mm. That’s what I’m really concerned about, yes.” Riko watched Kagami finally out-leap Aomine’s guard to slam the ball home. Both of them went immediately for another point, this time, and Riko sighed, exasperated. Enough was enough, and she didn’t want Kagami to over-strain himself. “Kuroko-kun, go stop them.”

Kuroko hopped down from the stage and trotted obediently out onto the court. Riko watched him watch the flow of the match for a moment before stepping into it and effortlessly stealing the ball, holding it while both his current and previous partner protested the interruption loudly. Kuroko really did have an amazing eye for the game, and she swore by the time she graduated she and Hyuuga were going to get him to use that eye for more than his own plays. He waited out Kagami and Aomine’s complaints and said a few quiet words, pointing to the clock on the wall. Eventually, they both gave in and made for their bags against the wall by the door. Kuroko, responsible as ever, put the ball away neatly in the bin before following after. The three of them pushed through the outside door, Kagami and Aomine still arguing over their match while Kuroko, between them, listened with silent amusement.

“Momoi suggests we can just trade them off, incorporate them both into both practices, wherever they happen to be,” she said quietly, once they were gone. “But that won’t be an even trade when it comes to what they pick up about an opponent’s team. If it weren’t for that, I might consider it. It would certainly help Kagami a great deal to train against Aomine with any regularity.”

Hyuuga was looking a little alarmed. “Kantoku. You’re talking about Seirin and Touou playing tournament matches when we already know what the other team is capable of. What kind of game would that be?”

“A challenging one. You like that, right?” Riko’s mouth tilted in a crooked smile. “Momoi seems to have a lot of that information on her books already. It might be very useful to equalize that advantage.” Hyuuga paused, obviously just as caught by the notion as she’d been. If only it could work. She was almost regretting that Kagami couldn’t analyze his opponents on anything but an instinctive level, yet, not like…

Slowly Riko straightened, eyes widening.

“Kantoku?” Hyuuga asked, warily.

Riko snapped her phone open with a flick of her wrist, and her thumb danced over it as she wrote out, Kagami and kuroko both to touou and I agree.

There was a long pause before the answer came back, and when it finally did Riko let herself giggle with wicked satisfaction.

Hyuuga paled. “Kantoku, what are you going to do?”

"I’m going to send Kuroko along." She held up the phone for him to see.

Agreed.


It took another few days before Aomine snuck off to visit them again, and Riko couldn’t quite restrain herself from skipping now and then. Her club kept giving her nervous looks, though she was sure she had no idea why they should. She supposed, on reflection, she might have hummed a little, too.

When Aomine finally showed up, peeking in the outside doors to wave at Kagami and Kuroko, she pounced on him. “There you are! Get in here, Aomine-kun, you’re taking part in drills today!”

“Oh, she has plans for him,” Furihata whispered, in a tone of relief. “Whew!”

“Don’t relax yet, they might still be plans for us too!” Kawahara hissed back.

Riko smiled serenely. It was good to keep her boys on their toes.

“Drills?” Aomine blinked at her as she strolled up to him. “Oh come on, I came here to get away from drill–ow!”

Riko marched him into the gym, fingers locked firmly on his ear. “Too bad. You’re here. You’re practicing.” Her boys were looking at her with a bit of awe, and she gave them a sunny smile. “Now.” She let Aomine go and folded her arms. “Take off your shirt and let me get a look at you.”

“What?!” Aomine looked faintly scandalized. Hyuuga was clearly stifling a laugh as he came and patted Aomine reassuringly on the shoulder.

“She’s our trainer; she wants to get a look at what kind of condition you’re in. Go on.”

“But…” Aomine gave her a rather wide-eyed look. “No, seriously…”

“Aomine-kun.” Kuroko, in the middle of the rotating line for lay-up practice runs, looked over at them with an ever so faintly admonishing expression. He didn’t say anything else, but Aomine grimaced a little, breath sighing out. Riko chalked up another example of Kuroko’s ability to manage his teammates; she was starting to wonder if they should make him the captain, year after next.

“Oh all right.” Aomine stripped off his shirt and stood giving her a suspicious look.

Riko took a good look at his body, frowning, pushing aside her eternal amazement over his sheer strength and potential to study the whole picture instead. “Hmm.” She hadn’t been sure, just watching him slouching around, and it was hard to see very well in the middle of one of his wild matches with Kagami, but her suspicion had been right. Aomine wasn’t standing quite square. She walked around him, studying his back. “Hmmmm.” Finally, she came around in front of him again, studying the curve of his spine and ribs as she went, and nodded sharply. “All right. Get dressed.” As soon as Aomine’s head emerged from the neck of his T-shirt again, she gave him a stern look. “I’m not surprised Momoi-kun wanted me to take a look at you. You’re right on the edge of some acute injuries, especially if you keep playing the way you are with Kagami-kun.”

Aomine shot her a skeptical glance, running his hands through his hair. “You can tell that just by looking?”

“You aren’t standing square,” Riko pointed out. “You’re pulling up just a little short on your right leg, and that’s contracting your core muscles on the left, trying to compensate. Your lower back, especially, is weaker than it should be, and you’re putting extra strain on your shoulders and chest. That’s heading straight for a torn pectoral, and your knees will be in danger, too, if you don’t strengthen your hip and lower back muscles again.” Aomine’s eyes had been widening all through the lecture, turning uncertain as he tried reflexively to adjust his stance and probably felt the muscles pulling. Riko set her hands on her hips, scolding. “You can’t let yourself get out of condition like that, Aomine-kun! You should know better!”

“It’s never been a problem,” Aomine protested, looking shifty even as he said it.

Riko narrowed her eyes at him. “No excuses! You’re going to train properly whenever you’re here, and that’s final! I’m not having any injuries happening in my gym.”

“What kind of training properly?” Aomine hedged, though Riko could tell he was weakening. She smiled at him, sweet as honey.

“Oh, dreadfully boring ones.” She stepped up nose-to-nose, or at least nose-to-chest, and he edged back. “Which will keep you from having all the wonderful excitement of a serious injury, you idiot.” She folded her arms and delivered the finishing stroke. “And no games with Kagami unless I’m satisfied you’re making sufficient progress in your re-conditioning.”

He finally gave in with a sigh, shoulders slumping. “Yeah, yeah, all right.”

One last push. Riko glared at him again. “What was that, Aomine-kun? I didn’t quite catch it.”

One corner of his mouth quirked up. “Yes, Kantoku.”

“Better!” She patted his arm. “Now, don’t worry, we’ll start easy. Give me fifty side planks, twenty seconds each, and then you can join in the sprints.”

Someone on the court, where they had all been eavesdropping shamelessly, squeaked with shock. Aomine, on the other hand, just grinned, eyes lighting up with a little spark. “No problem.”

Riko smiled with satisfaction that she’d struck the right note with him, presented this training as both a benefit and a challenge. She kept an eye on him as he went to pull down a mat to work on, and took out her phone.

Could have just said you wanted evaluation of him.

Wheres the fun in that? Momoi sent back a minute later, and Riko rolled her eyes. Dai-chan okay? came a moment later.

Will be, Riko typed back. Close thing. Watch him.

Can have kagamin for bait pls? Riko could almost see Momoi batting her lashes innocently, and snorted.

Will send next week. Kuroko too. Better keep them in shape.

Been doing that for years.

For the first time since the Winter Cup, Riko thought about what it might have been like to manage a team like Teikou while the captain and coach let the whole lot of them run wild in the name of victory.

Not you alone, she texted back. Will be okay now.

It wasn’t until five minutes later that her phone chimed with a reply, and Riko fished it out while calling to Koganei to set his feet better before his next sprint.

Thanks.

She closed the phone again and went back to her job, and if she carried a little smile with her, well, none of the boys needed to know why.


One of the things Satsuki had most looked forward to, about Kagami and Tetsu-kun visiting Touou, was watching Wakamatsu-senpai try to deal with Tetsu-kun.

“So try to keep up!”

“Of course.” Tetsu-kun stood perfectly calm and attentive, watching Wakamatsu-senpai.

“And… and don’t get in anyone’s way!”

“Understood.” Tetsu-kun waited politely.

Wakamatsu-senpai ran a hand through his hair, clearly bewildered by all the relentless courtesy. “Yeah, well. Just… go get changed.”

Tetsu-kun bobbed an agreeable and unflappable bow and herded Kagami off to the side while Touou’s captain stalked back to practice, shaking his head. Dai-chan finally stopped laughing long enough lead them to the changing room, and came back still grinning. “That was beautiful,” he said, lounging against the edge of the stage beside her.

“Just remember, you’re supposed to train properly today or no game with Kagamin later,” she reminded him. Dai-chan made a face.

“Yeah, yeah, fine.” He muttered some further uncomplimentary things under his breath, but they were mostly directed at Riko-san, so Satsuki let him complain. If Dai-chan didn’t realize who had really started this plan, that was actually fine with her. She didn’t like having to fight with him. That reminded her, though, and she pulled out her phone to text Riko-san.

Both here. Everything fine. Have a nice day!

A minute later, the reply came back, dryness rising almost visibly off the screen. Good luck. Middle of practice here. Shoo.

Satsuki grinned to herself as she closed the phone again. She was finding that she liked teasing Riko-san, and she thought just maybe Riko-san was finding the whole thing funny too.

“Floor work!” Wakamatsu-senpai yelled as Kagami and Tetsu-kun emerged again. “Break out the mats!”

Dai-chan sighed like it was dragged up from his toes, and slouched over to follow Tetsu-kun as he led both Kagami and Dai-chan promptly over to the stack of rough, blue mats against the wall. Dai-chan and Kagami eyed each other narrowly as they grabbed the same mat, and Satsuki rolled her eyes. She did it extra hard, because she was pretty sure she was doing it for Tetsu-kun also, though he never showed it.

It was an odd day of practice, full of hesitations as people paused to watch Dai-chan breezing through every exercise, or Kagami bursting through them, or Tetsu-kun working his way patiently and sometimes awkwardly through them. It was that last that Satsuki heard murmurs starting over, among little knots of players waiting to shoot or sprint or get one of the baskets for guard practice.

“…the hell…”

“…really from Teikou?”

“…different in a game, but seriously…”

As yet another of Tetsu-kun’s lay-ups bounced off the rim, Yoshita-senpai finally said, a little more loudly, “This is a regular from the championship team?”

Yoshita-senpai should, Satsuki thought dispassionately, have remembered who he was currently on a three-man team with. Kagami made a long arm without moving from where he stood, wrapped his fingers in the front of Yoshita-senpai’s shirt, and dragged him in close.

“When you can play the way he does,” Kagami’s growl nearly echoed, “and keep going the way he does, then you can talk. Until then, shut your ignorant face.”

Yoshita-senpai, nearly hauled up off his feet, held up placating hands. “Right, sure, whatever you say.”

Tetsu-kun slipped back into line for another run, apparently oblivious to the whole thing, and to Dai-chan looming on the other side of the court with a nasty look in his eye.

“Kagami and Aomine really are two of a kind, aren’t they?” someone said in Satsuki’s ear, and she turned her head to smile ruefully up at Imayoshi-senpai.

“In some ways. Shouldn’t you be studying, senpai?”

He gave her an innocent look, leaning crossed arms on the back of her chair. “I heard you’d gotten Aomine-kun to come to practice, and wanted to witness the historic event for myself.”

“He’s complained the whole time, but he’s stayed.” Satsuki shrugged. “It’s a start. I think he took Riko-san seriously, too.”

The teasing smile slid off Imayoshi-senpai’s face. “Good. Kantoku was getting worried about that.”

“He was right to be.” Satsuki wrapped her arms around herself for a moment, pushing away the thought of how much danger Dai-chan had been putting himself in. “But I think this approach will work out.”

Out on the court, Tetsu-kun paused abruptly in the middle of shooting. “Aomine-kun. Kagami-kun,” he said, firm and clear, not taking his eyes off the hoop.

Satsuki looked around sharply, and scowled to see both Dai-chan and Kagami frozen in the act of sidling toward the outside door, Dai-chan with a ball under one arm.

“Have you got eyes in the back of your head or what?” Kagami snapped, looking guilty.

Dai-chan just sighed. “Yeah, he does,” he muttered.

Tetsu-kun finished his shot and turned to look at them expectantly. Dai-chan and Kagami gave in and trudged back toward the court. Satsuki had to bite back a giggle when Tetsu-kun smiled, small and approving, because Aomine lightened up a little and Kagami scowled off to the side, coloring faintly.

No one said a single word about Tetsu-kun’s performance in the day’s exercises after that.

“I don’t suppose we can keep him?” Imayoshi-senpai asked her, just a little wistful.

Satsuki imagined Riko-san’s reply, if she texted to ask that, and laughed some more. “Probably not. But this should be enough.” She smiled softly as Kagami and Dai-chan argued over who got to have Tetsu-kun on his side for the next mini-game, watching how Dai-chan’s eyes turned bright and alive as he leaned toward Kagami and how Tetsu-kun let them argue, tolerant and amused. “It’ll be enough, now.”

She’d been afraid, for a long time, that her boys were broken beyond repair, but she wasn’t afraid any more. Watching them catch fire off each other, she couldn’t be afraid of anything. If she’d loved Tetsu-kun before, for his kindness, it was nothing to what she felt now, knowing he’d seen what had to be done and made it happen. It was enough to inspire anyone, and she smiled secretly at the thought, because she’d finally realized something. Her plan didn’t have to stop here. Her hand snuck down to touch her phone, and her smile widened.


Riko tapped her toe, arms folded, as she waited for Momoi under the awning of Kaijou’s sports complex, feeling conspicuous in another school’s uniform. Momoi, nearly skipping up the walk, seemed to feel no such thing, arriving at Riko’s side with a bounce in her step and smiling down at her cheerily. Riko was irritated all over again by the girl’s height and finally asked what she’d been thinking for months. “Why are you hanging around the boy’s basketball team instead of playing on the girl’s like you obviously could?”

Momoi widened her eyes. “Well, I suppose could, yes, but I really think I’m just not built for it. All the jumping would make things bounce an awful lot.”

Riko wanted to be annoyed by that dig, too, but there was such a sparkle of mischief in Momoi’s eyes, so much happier than the girl had been in the spring and summer, that it tugged an unwilling smile out of her. “Speaking of the problems with natural talent,” she murmured instead, and took some satisfaction in the peal of laughter she surprised out of Momoi. “Are you sure we need to take things this far?” she asked, more seriously.

Momoi sobered and nodded. “Yes, Riko-san. I’m sure. Midorin has his new partner to look after him, and I think Himuro-san will keep an eye on Muk-kun. But the one who looked after Ki-chan was Kasamatsu-san. And he’s retired from the club, now.”

“I don’t know whether I should call you an amazing scout or an amazing stalker,” Riko sighed, and twitched her uniform cuffs down, straightening. “All right, let’s do it.”

Kaijou’s coach glowered at them as soon as they appeared in the door of the gymnasium. “You again,” he said, eyeing Riko in particular, and she couldn’t help beaming back at him, immensely cheered by the professional vote of enmity. “What do you want now? Wasn’t twice enough for you?”

“Actually, Takeuchi-kantoku, we were hoping we could offer a little help with a potential problem.” Riko smoothed her smile into something a little more serious, and opened her hand at Momoi.

Momoi nearly sparkled at the poor man. “I think we can all agree that managing an ex-regular from Teikou sometimes takes unusual measure, yes? There’s an arrangement that’s been working out very well so far…”

“This is something I never expected to see.”

Riko looked around to find Kise smiling down at her. “What are you and Satsuki-chan both doing here?” he asked, tossing sweat-soaked hair back off his face.

Riko looked him critically up and down, and nodded to herself; Momoi had been right on target. “You’ve been pushing your training too hard, Kise-kun,” she said, loud enough for Takeuchi-san to hear. “You’re going to over-train, at this rate.” She really didn’t like the twitch in his calf muscles; that suggested he’d been working far too repetitively.

“It isn’t that bad, Aida-san!” Kise waved her concern off, laughing, but she thought there was a brittle edge to it. “I haven’t been doing that much…”

“Kise,” Takeuchi-san cut him off, frowning. “Exactly how much after-hours training have you been doing?”

Now Kise definitely looked guilty. “Not that much, really,” he offered, but his eyes fell away from his coach’s.

“I think you can see our concern, Takeuchi-kantoku,” Momoi murmured, utterly unmoved by the tragically betrayed look Kise gave her.

Takeuchi-san growled under his breath, arms folded grumpily, and Riko caught, “…bad as her damn father…” That made something in her glow, warm and happy, and she waited with her best copy of Kuroko’s attentive expression while he thought it over. Finally Takeuchi-san sighed. “All right, fine. You made your point, and I suppose we can risk a little experimenting during the off-season. I’ll give you a month to convince me this isn’t as insane as it sounds.”

Riko bowed smoothly. “Thank you, Takeuchi-kantoku. We’ll contact you about scheduling.”

He harumphed and turned back to his team’s practice while Kise looked at Riko and Momoi warily. “What is this all about?”

Momoi attached herself to his arm, smiling up at him. “It’s about trading you and Dai-chan and Kagamin around, to let you play each other more. Tetsu-kun, too, mostly to make Dai-chan and Kagamin behave.”

Riko had thought Kise seemed brittle. She hadn’t realized just how well he was hiding it until he lit up at Momoi’s words, shoulders falling open and easy all at once. “Trading…? You mean, officially, we’d be allowed?”

Momoi’s smile had turned gentle, and her voice matched it. “Yes. All above-board and everything. We’ll make it work.”

Kise covered her hand on his arm with his own, taking a slow breath, just a little shaky. “Thanks, Satsuki-chan.” After a moment, he remembered Riko too and bobbed a nod to her. “Aida-san.”

“If you’re going to be showing up at my team’s practices, you should get used to calling me Aida-kantoku,” she told him wryly. “You’d better get back to your own practice, now, before your coach gets annoyed.” She held up a stern finger. “And no more than one hour extra practice after! Don’t think I won’t ask Momoi whether you’re going over time!”

Kise ducked his head, rueful. “Yes, Aida-kantoku.”

“Better.” She slung her bag over her shoulder and cocked her head at Momoi. “Ready?”

Momoi gave Kise one last hug, and joined her. “Ready.”

They were almost at the school gates before Riko said, quietly, “They’re still a unit, aren’t they? Even now they’re separated.”

“Mm.” Momoi fiddled with the strap of her phone. “They’re… special to each other. Sometimes I think they only became what they are because they were all together at Teikou, and pushed each other forward. Well,” she smiled ruefully, “you’ve seen how Dai-chan and Kagamin are.”

Always pushing each other, and loving every second of it, Riko filled in. Almost obsessed with each other, and they probably would be if Kuroko weren’t there to rein them in a little.

When she caught herself thinking that, Riko stopped dead in the middle of the sidewalk and scrubbed both hands through her hair. “Argh!”

Momoi stepped back a pace, blinking. “Riko-san…?”

What the hell was she thinking, relying on another first-year to manage her own players?! She was losing her mind, falling prey to the insanity that seemed to strike every coach who had to deal with a Miracle Generation player. Well nuts to that! Riko straightened her shoulders, glaring at the air in front of her. “Satsuki-san,” she rapped out, “I am not leaving them to muddle through this on their own. They have senpai, now, and we will take care of them.” She jammed her hands on her hips and spun on her heel to face Satsuki, seeing with new eyes the fear and stress at the corners of her teasing smiles. “And you have senpai, now, too, got that? We’re in this together, and we’ll keep them together.”

Satsuki stared at her for a long, blank moment before a different smile crept over her lips, a little shaky as it went. “Yes, Riko-san.” She was laughing a bit as she answered, but Riko didn’t miss the liquid flash of brightness in her eyes.

“Good,” she said, gentler, and held out a hand. “Don’t worry. We’ll make sure it’s all right. Right?”

Satsuki reached out and shook her hand firmly, smile steadying. “Right.”

“Let’s get going, then.”

They talked, all the way home, about how to best schedule rotations, considering that one of their problem children was a captain now, and how to handle things once tournament season started and they faced each other as opponents. It wasn’t until later that night that Riko got a text about the other things that had been said.

Thank you, Riko-senpai.

Riko smiled down at her phone, shaking her head. “Way too long without senpai, the whole lot of you,” she whispered, and tapped a text back before putting the phone away and getting ready for bed, and the next day.

You’re welcome, Satsuki-chan.

End

A/N: In hanakotoba, bell-flowers indicate gratitude.

Colored Like Zinnias

The afternoon was bright and chill, and winter sunlight slanted in the high windows of the Seirin gymnasium to glow on the floor. The Winter Cup was over and Seirin’s basketball club had settled into their off-season training schedule, which was…

“Again, faster this time!”

…not actually very different. Tetsuya scrubbed his sleeve over his forehead and trotted back to the starting line for today’s sprints. The squeak of shoes and the hoarse draw of each wave’s breathing echoed off the walls, and Tetsuya settled himself into position for the next sprint with a warm sense of familiarity. The sounds, the feel of the air on his skin, the flex of muscles pushing to the limit, all of this whispered to him that he was right where he should be.

“Furihata, your ankles are wobbling all over the place, twenty scissors hops!” their coach barked, watching the dash with a predatory gleam in her eye. “Kuroko, I didn’t see your sprint at all, do another!”

A tiny smile curved Tetsuya’s mouth despite the slow burn in his calves. “Yes, Kantoku.” He liked how easily his senpai took his habit of concealment in stride, lately. He felt like he belonged, again.

“All right,” she called, when he’d finished. “That’s enough drills, let’s loosen up a little. Five against five, twenty minute match!”

The other first-years were starting to have the endurance to play for longer, mixed in among the regulars, and Tetsuya was starting to feel like he could give them harder passes. That was good. He didn’t know what the team would look like by their third year, but he was starting to hope that they wouldn’t shame their senpai’s determination, following after them. He felt a quick thrill of pressure, even here in practice, as Izuki-senpai dodged straight into his pass route, obviously knowing where the ball should go next.

“Fukuda, mark Kagami!” Izuki-senpai called, and Tetsuya could feel the shrinking possibilities of the next move, like a band tightening around his arms. Fukuda had fallen back to guard Kagami along with Mitobe-senpai, Izuki-senpai was staying between Tetsuya and Kawahara, Hyuuga-senpai was between him and the basket and Koganei-senpai wouldn’t be able to stop him from interfering if Tetsuya tried to make his own drive. Tetsuya abandoned his planned play and passed backwards to Furihata instead; if he could get further inside the defense and draw Hyuuga-senpai’s attention, he could pass to Koganei-senpai and let him shoot from up close.

Perhaps, he thought later, he had taken his senpai’s words about focusing more on his individual game a little too much to heart. For a moment, he forgot just how much it frustrated Kagami to be kept out of the action.

Even Tetsuya almost didn’t see it happen. In the moment Tetsuya passed the ball, Kagami ducked back, away from his two markers, and spun around them, impossibly graceful, deadly fast, to intercept the ball himself. He drove for the basket like there was nothing else on the court, and Hyuuga-senpai feinted around Koganei-senpai to lunge for Kagami. Kagami leaped from yards out, and Tetsuya’s breath caught; it was a beautiful move, calculated to make any attempt to stop him into a foul. It was also a big risk for a player whose accuracy was still shaky at longer ranges. Tsuchida-senpai was running to support, to catch any rebound, but Tetsuya could see he wouldn’t be in time. Neither would Tetsuya himself. Koganei-senpai had even worse accuracy than Kagami and was at a bad angle.

It was all up to Kagami.

Tetsuya felt like the court was holding its breath as the ball flew, and he let his breath out along with Kawahara’s cheer when it went in. There was a shaky feeling in his stomach, though.

“Kagami!” Hyuuga-senpai bellowed, hands on his hips. “What the hell was that? You completely outran your team, what were you thinking making a risky shot like that, unsupported, when the other side’s outside scorer was near the basket? If it hadn’t gone in, and I’d gotten the ball, you’d have been screwed!”

Kagami blinked at the lecture. “Well, I had to, didn’t I? None of you can keep up with me.”

The simple, matter-of-fact tone made Tetsuya’s hand flinch into a fist. It was true, and that was the worst part. The feeling of familiarity was back, but it wasn’t pleasant this time. It felt more like something smothering him. Was this always how it had to go, even with Kagami, even after the balance they’d found this season? Had Kise been right after all? Would Tetsuya have to go through this with every partner?

Hyuuga-senpai smacked Kagami briskly across the back of the head.

“Ow!”

“Moron,” Hyuuga-senpai said calmly. “The whole point of being on the same team is that we know your moves and you know ours. We don’t have to be as fast as you, we just have to know what you might do so we can make coherent plays. So.” He glanced around, beckoning everyone closer. “If Kagami is double marked, we can assume he’ll get free, as long as he’s not right up against the boundary. Work with that thought in mind.” He glanced at the other first-years in particular. “Just like you keep in mind that I can make outside shots and that you watch Izuki for cues and that if the ball is suddenly in your hands you don’t bother wondering why, just assume Kuroko thinks you’re clear.” A laugh ran through the club and Hyuuga-senpai smiled faintly. “All right, then, let’s go. It’s Black side’s ball!”

Tetsuya nearly floated through the rest of practice on the warm wave of his relief.

Kagami seemed to take the whole episode in stride, and think nothing of it, either during the rest of the mini-game or during their captain’s dissection of it after. He was no more or less impatient and mannerless than always, made the usual faces at the partnered training exercises the coach heaped on him and still did exactly as she said. Tetsuya thought about that, as he rolled his towel into his bag, and decided it was a good sign.

“Hey.” Kagami nudged his shoulder as Tetsuya fished out his shoes. “Hurry up or I’m going without you.”

Just like always, when Kagami was hungry. “Go ahead, I’ll catch up,” Tetsuya told him, and smiled inwardly at the way Kagami rolled his eyes and slouched out the door on the trail of obscene amounts of food, hands jammed into his pockets. Just as always, but not quite familiar. Not yet. Maybe that was a good sign, too, for their team, that so many things about it were still unfamiliar to him. It could have been a lot worse, certainly, with a coach or captain who couldn’t handle Kagami, or who just wouldn’t; he’d seen what kind of team that made, too often this past season, and at Teikou before that. If he hadn’t chosen Seirin… if Kagami hadn’t chosen Seirin… Tetsuya remembered what the Fukuda Sougou team had become, what the Kirisaki Daiichi team had let themselves be, how wild Touou had let Aomine run, and a shudder shook his whole body. The laces of his shoe snapped as his fingers tightened hard, and he put his head down on his knees to breathe through the sick jolt of those might-have-beens, nightmares riding the remains of the scare he’d had earlier.

“You all right?” Hyuuga-senpai’s hand came down on his shoulder. “If you’ve been over-training outside of practice, you know Kantoku will skin you…”

“I’m fine,” Tetsuya said, a little breathless still. “I’m not worn out. It’s just…” He swallowed down the last of that fear, pushing it back with the memory of this captain’s steady hand on the team. “Thank you.”

“What for?” There was a bit of a laugh in Hyuuga-senpai’s voice, though he left his hand where it was as Tetsuya straightened again. “It’s my job to look after all of you, isn’t it?”

“For doing that, then,” Tetsuya said quietly to his hands as he knotted the broken lace of his shoe. “It isn’t easy, is it? Especially sometimes.” Especially for Kagami.

“Ah. That.” Hyuuga-senpai shook him a little. “First-years shouldn’t worry so much. No matter what kind of monster I wind up with on my team, I won’t let him run away with himself.” His hand tightened. “Just like I won’t let you stand still. Still going to thank me?”

Hyuuga-senpai was teasing, but Kuroko could hear that he was also serious. He meant what he said, and the thought of being pushed like that, pushed by someone of Hyuuga-senpai’s integrity, made excitement and trepidation and hope tangle together in his chest. He needed to keep finding new parts of his game, things he’d never thought he could do, things he’d never been encouraged to try; Hyuuga-senpai would make sure he kept going, the way Akashi never had.

Tetsuya knew other people had a hard time reading his expression, but he hoped that his gratitude showed at least a little, as he looked up. “Yes, Captain. I will.”

Hyuuga-senpai’s smile was crooked. “Thought you might. That’s why you belong here. Remember it.”

Tetsuya lowered his eyes and nodded. “Yes, Captain.” It wasn’t familiar, what he felt now. Not exactly. But that was all right.

He was happy.

End

A/N: In hanakotoba, Zinnias/Hyakunichisou indicate loyalty.

The Shade of Sunflowers

Kise Ryouta stood rooted to the polished floor of Kaijou’s locker room, staring at his captain and coach. “You… but…”

Kasamatsu-senpai gave him faint, tilted smile. “You think maybe Hayakawa is a better choice?”

Ryouta ran a helpless hand through his hair. “Well, no, but…”

“I told you when you joined, Kise,” Takeuchi-kantoku rumbled, “you’re going to be the core of the team. Get used to it already.”

“But making a first-year captain…! Ow,” he added, as Kasamatsu-senpai smacked him on the arm.

“Quit whining,” his captain ordered. “Now we’re retiring, you’re as good as a second-year. And Kantoku is right about this; it’s time you got serious about the club.”

“I am serious!” Ryouta protested, indignant. Hadn’t he proven that during the tournaments, this year?

“Including when you’re not having fun in a tight game,” Kasamatsu-senpai specified, and Ryouta ducked his head, cheeks a little hot. Okay, he guessed he did kind of toy with people outside of games, but it was reflex! His agency had pretty much trained the charm into him, and how else was he supposed to get any amusement out of being a public figure since middle-school, for pity’s sake?

Besides, he mostly on did it to Kasamatsu-senpai, on his own team. Kasamatsu-senpai gave him a look like he’d heard the thought, and Ryouta ducked his head further, hiding a tiny grin.

“It’s not like you can’t lead,” Takeuchi-kantoku told him heartlessly. “Time to step up and do it. Kasamatsu, you said you have the rest of this?”

Kasamatsu-senpai waved a hand. “Yeah, I’ve got it.”

“The rest of what?” Ryouta asked a bit warily, as their coach took himself out, nudging the door shut behind him. Kasamatsu-senpai sat down on one of the benches, elbows on his knees.

“Listen, Kise, you still have one serious weakness. You aren’t experienced enough.”

“That’s what I was just trying to tell you!”

Kasamatsu-senpai stuck a foot out and booted him in the thigh. “Shut up; I said listen.”

Ryouta considered cowering dramatically, but the look in Kasamatsu-senpai’s eyes was serious, so he leaned back against the lockers and listened quietly.

“You have incredible potential, and you’re developing it fast. That’s good. But you’ve still only been playing for under three years. You can’t read the situation on the court very well yet. You need to fix that.”

Ryouta bit his lip; he’d known that was why Kasamatsu-senpai had taken him to watch the Tokyo preliminaries, had brought him to every other match they could manage and talked him through every one. “Is there anyone else?” he asked, tentatively. “Anyone else in the club who knows that the way you do?”

A corner of Kasamatsu-senpai’s mouth curled up, not happily. “Not really, though I’ll tell you now that you should listen to Kataoka; he’ll probably make the best point-guard, after me, for that matter. But no. You’re going to have to learn this yourself.”

“But…!” Ryouta protested. “If it’s a matter of experience…”

“It’s patterns, Kise.” Kasamatsu-senpai leaned forward intently. “And that’s what you do best. You just need to see more of them. So here’s what you’re going to do.” He pointed to a stack of two cardboard boxes sitting by the door. “You’re going to watch recordings of as many different games as I could lay hands on. Watch them like you were looking at a new move to make your own, but don’t just watch the moves. Watch the flow of the game, see what positions people have when plays happen.”

Ryouta calculated how many DVDs those two boxes could hold and quailed. “But…!” This time it came out a little desperate.

Expecting an admonitory kick, he stilled when Kasamatsu-senpai just looked up at him instead, quiet and serious.

“You can do this, Kise. I know you can. Will you?”

Ryouta slumped back against the lockers, helpless in face of that kind of trust. “I…” Slowly he let his breath out and bowed his head. “Yes, Captain,” he said, low.

“Senpai,” Kasamatsu-senpai corrected, pushing up onto his feet. “You’re the team’s captain, now.” He reached up and rested a hand on Ryouta’s shoulder, steadying him the way he’d done for Ryouta all year.

Ryouta smiled, small and rueful. “Yeah, I guess I am. But you’re the one who put me there. In a lot of different ways,” he finished softly.

Answering softness flickered over Kasamatsu-senpai’s face for a moment. “You’re welcome. Now come on. We have time to watch the first match from that set before it’s dark.”

Ryouta made a mournful face. “Yes, senpai.” He collected a reassuringly brisk smack across the shoulder for that, and trailed along obediently as Kasamatsu-senpai rummaged out a disk and pulled Ryouta down onto the bench in front of the team’s DVD player. At least, Ryouta reassured himself, he wasn’t being thrown over the edge of captaincy alone. He had his senpai’s trust and advice to go with him.

How far those would carry him, he wasn’t sure. But he was going to hang on tight to them anyway.

End

A/N: In hanakotoba, sunflowers indicate love and respect.

Strong as Freesia

Kuroko Tetsuya walked the last bit of his way home alone, after Kagami turned off onto his own street, letting the quiet settle over him. As the echoes of his team’s voices, of exultation and disbelief and, really, quite a lot of screaming died away, they left one thing behind.

They had won.

He had won. Not alone, of course, but… that had been his point all along. It was Tetsuya’s game, and the team he had chosen, that had won through to the end. And it felt good, it felt… warm. Not like the icy, isolated victories of his third year. No, this reminded him of something further back—their second year, when Kise had just joined them and Aomine still laughed and bounced gleefully at winning, when Midorima’s calm had still had a little humor in it and Murasakibara’s temper had still had a playful edge. When Akashi still smiled at them like he really saw who was in front of him.

Tetsuya tipped his head back and looked up at the sky, past the intermittent glow of his neighborhood’s streetlights and door lamps. It didn’t hurt as much to think about that time, now.

When he turned in at his house and saw who was waiting, though, perched on the low front wall with his breath showing white in the chill air, it was still a shock.

“Aomine-kun.”

“Tetsu.” He didn’t say anything more, and after a long moment Tetsuya moved to unlock the door.

“Come in. Please excuse the mess.”

Aomine kicked his shoes off in the entry, glancing around the dark lower floor. “Your mom isn’t home yet?”

“She’s traveling for work, this week.” Tetsu hung his jacket neatly, reaching out by reflex to take Aomine’s before he could toss it over the shoe rack. Then he had to take a slow breath before he could go on. “She sent me a good luck message earlier today.”

Aomine’s mouth tilted up on one side. “Yeah, that’s oba-san.” He wandered through to the living room and stood at the wide front window while Tetsuya busied himself with pouring them both water in the kitchen. Aomine didn’t like tea, even on cold nights.

“Congratulations,” Aomine called from the next room. “It was a good game.”

Tetsuya paused in the doorway, glasses in his hands, watching Aomine across the room. “Do you really think so?”

“Oh come on.” Aomine hunched his shoulders a little, hands shoved in the pockets of his jeans. “I always liked your game.” He leaned one shoulder against the window frame, still looking out. “That’s why I got so pissed off when you left.”

Tetsuya set the glasses down on the low table a bit harder than he’d meant to, water splashing up against the sides. “You were the one who left first,” he answered shortly. He sat down on the couch, closing his hands on his knees, as Aomine finally turned away from the window looking startled.

“I didn’t go anywhere! You were the one who vanished after the final match and dropped your resignation off without seeing a single one of us!”

“I’m surprised you noticed.” Tetsuya could hear his own voice turning sharp and didn’t bother to stop it. “You spent most of that year acting like I wasn’t there on the court at all. Even this year… you kept saying I was your shadow, but it was like you’d forgotten how to see me until we played at the Winter Cup.” And now, now after all this, Aomine wanted to scold him for leaving? He looked back at his old partner flatly, mouth tight.

Aomine hesitated that that, and finally sighed, coming to thump down cross-legged on the floor by the couch. “Sorry,” he said, low, reaching out to curl long fingers around one of the glasses, though he didn’t drink, just ran his fingertips through the condensation on the sides. “I just… I couldn’t, Tetsu. That whole year, it was like… like there was nothing under me any more and I was falling. Everyone just gave up, and there was nothing there, nothing to stand on or lean against, everything I loved best just gone! And when we played together… our game together is so strong, Tetsu, it just made it worse.” He took a drink and set the glass back down with a restless clack. “I hated the way you left, but I was almost glad when the rest of the team split up. Where else was I going to get a decent game any more?” He propped an elbow on the cushion beside Tetsuya, still looking down. “And even then… I figured once I’d actually played them seriously, they’d give up too, you know? Like everyone else did, and that would be it.”

One part of Tetsuya’s mind turned that over, thinking that now Aomine’s distant look during the preliminary matches in the spring, and his harshness during the the winter match, made much more sense. He’d expected Tetsuya and Kagami to give up, too, and he’d been angry over it. The bigger part of him, though, was buzzing, whiting out into the slow rise of memory and anger.

Aomine still hadn’t seen. Hadn’t understood what he’d done, that last year at Teikou.

“You didn’t give up, though,” Aomine went on, quieter. “Kise either.” He flashed a lopsided grin up at Tetsuya. “I’m glad.”

“No,” Tetsuya said softly, “we never gave up. But you did.”

Aomine blinked up at him, eyes widening a little. “What?”

“You gave up on me. You gave up on our team. You gave up on the game.” Tetsuya looked down at his old partner, recognizing his alarm at Tetsuya’s anger and not caring. “I was there to lean against. So was our team, until you turned away from them. And you turned away from me just like your opponents turned away from you. The one thing I loved most, Aomine-kun, the game I could play as part of that team. Gone, just like you said.” Feeling that simmering hurt and frustration well up again, he drove home the point with brutal bluntness. “You gave up, and you took that away from me, and you left me behind in the same place you were trying to escape. You climbed over me, trying to get out, and pushed me down deeper, and didn’t even notice.”

Aomine was pale by the time he was done, one hand clenched on the edge of the couch so tight Tetsuya wondered distantly whether the fabric would tear. “I… did that to you?” he whispered. "Really?"

Tetsuya nodded silently, waiting.

“I…” A shudder ran through Aomine, and he bent his head abruptly, pressing his forehead against Tetsuya’s leg. “I… Tetsu…” Tetsuya could see his throat move as he swallowed convulsively, see the gleam of his eyes, wide open and staring blindly at nothing. “I’m sorry,” he finally choked. “I’m sorry, Tetsu. I never…”

Tetsuya felt a little shaky himself. His mother had told him, years ago when his parents first separated, that he could let anger drive him but never rule him. He hadn’t known until now, he thought, what she’d meant.

He’d hurt, yes. For a long time. But he didn’t want to hurt Aomine in return; he wanted his friend back. That was what he’d fought for all this year. So he took another breath to loosen the tightness in his chest, and rested his hand on Aomine’s back. “It’s better now,” he said more gently. “I found a team and a partner. You came back. You saw me on the court, again. It’s all right now. Just don’t go away like that again.”

Slowly Aomine quieted, shaking tension easing back out of his shoulders and neck under Tetsuya’s hand. Finally he said, low, “You brought me back. You and Kagami.” A soft snort of laughter, a little pained. “He didn’t give up, either. Maybe he really is stronger, some ways at least.”

“Mmm.” Tetsuya rubbed his fingers over the line of Aomine’s shoulder. “I knew better, this time, how to keep him away from the edge.” How to hold his partner steady in the storm of talent and challenge and pride and frustration and eagerness that was tournament season. After a long, quiet moment, he finally added. “I bet this wasn’t why you came to see me tonight, though.” He felt Aomine wince under his hand.

“I… I was remembering. Sometimes, after a game, I’d go home with you. And we’d wind down from the match, and if your mom was here she’d listen and cheer us on, and sometimes, if it was still early, we’d go find a court and play around.” He was quiet for a long moment, and Tetsuya waited for him. Finally he said, very low, “I’d like to play with you again, some time.”

That warm feeling of a happy victory bloomed through Tetsuya again, easing the last edge of his anger, and he smiled. “Yes. I’d like that too.”

Aomine finally lifted his head, eyes dark. “Even though?”

Even though he’d done such a painful thing to Tetsuya. The very thing that had driven Aomine to such wildness.

Tetsuya thought about it, letting his hand rest where it was. “Yes,” he said finally, very sure. “Even though.”

Aomine leaned against his knees, not speaking, but relief was in every line of his body. Tetsuya finally leaned forward for his water glass, to take a drink. He felt wrung out, inside, and very in need of it. As he settled back, Aomine folded his arms on Tetsuya’s knees and rested his chin on them. “Kagami too, you think?” he asked, speculatively.

Tetsuya regarded his friend tolerantly. “Yes, you can play Kagami-kun too.”

Aomine grinned up at him, with a shadow of his old, confiding air. “You’re gonna regret saying we could.”

Tetsuya took a composed sip of his water. “If our coach and captain agree, of course,” he specified. Aomine gave him a sulky look and he added, “Momoi-san too.”

“Okay, I’ll be good about it, I give up, I give up!” Aomine declared dramatically, throwing himself back to sprawl over the couch cushion beside Tetsuya. “Except not, of course,” he added.

A familiar bubble of laughter burst in Tetsuya’s chest. “I know.”

Aomine smiled up at him, upside down and crooked. “Tetsu… I didn’t say it earlier, but… thanks.”

Tetsuya rested a hand on his shoulder again, and they sat together quietly for a long moment.

“So, hey, what’s to eat around here?” Aomine finally asked.

“You sound just like Kagami-kun,” Tetsuya told him, straight-faced. The resulting protests took them most of the way through the the instant noodles that Tetsuya made, and that Aomine ate two thirds of.

He supposed there was some justice in Aomine’s indignation. Kagami would have eaten at least three quarters of it. On the other hand, he’d probably have done the cooking himself, and made something besides just noodles.

Tetsuya watched his friend across the small kitchen table, drinking in all the little things he remembered: the wide gestures and the way Aomine talked through a mouthful of food and the flicker of light in his eyes, still fitful but getting stronger again as they talked over Seirin’s match against Rakuzan. This was what he had fought for, and the fight had brought him a new team, good senpai, a new partner, and finally his old partner back again. This had turned out to be a good road.

He would keep going down it.

End

A/N: In hanakotoba, freesia indicate immaturity or childishness, but also the purity of innocence.

Chrysanthemum Tea

Looking back, he’d felt it first during the Interhigh preliminaries when he’d seen, when he’d experienced, Tetsu’s fierce rejection of despair. He’d seen a whole team lock together around Tetsu’s unwillingness to give up no matter how they lost, and a flicker, just a flicker, of something like hope had brushed over that court.

It had reminded him, for an instant, of the lightness he used to feel playing with Tetsu. At least until he saw that Tetsu had understood the difference between their games, and had to wonder whether even Tetsu would be coming back after that.

When he’d been dragged to the Winter Cup preliminaries though, to see Seirin play that bastard Hanamiya, he’d remembered again. Watching Tetsu’s new senpai put their game and all their chances in Tetsu’s hands, watching them accept pass after twisting, unpredictable pass, he’d remembered doing that himself, trusting like that. Remembered a time it had seemed necessary. Remembered how good it had felt. To win, of course, when that had still been in doubt.

He missed that.

So he pushed them, pushed Satsuki to convince their captain to challenge Seirin directly, as soon as they knew the bracket for the Winter Cup. Pushed Kagami to understand what he had to do, if he really wanted to be a challenge. And if he also left Tetsu with his water bottle, well it wasn’t like he’d forgotten they were friends just because they were enemies.

And when he’d seen them on the court, he’d known he’d been right to push. Kagami had advanced, and that was enough to please him for a while right there. But he’d also felt something at the start of the game that he’d never felt before. Tetsu’s presence. Not just his determination, not just unsupported spirit, but the weight in his sense of the court created by a player who had his own strength. He wanted to taste that strength, to push against it and feel it push back, and it was a thrill just like he’d expected. Not hope, he wasn’t stupid enough to hope, he told himself firmly, but a thrill. That was the best he had, these days, and the ache of knowing that made him angry and rough, even with Tetsu.

Kagami, though, Kagami was a nice surprise.

Actually, Kagami was a shock. A delicious shock. To push and find, not air, not even just resistance, but an unmoving wall, a wall that he could strain against and still not move, a wall he had to break himself open to knock down… he felt like he needed to scream with how good that was.

Just a little, he could relax against that.

And against Tetsu’s ferocity, when he turned his presence outward like an explosion no one could ignore, not even him. Just a little.

Against Seirin’s strength, he could relax just a little, just enough to feel it again. The need that would drive him to where the game opened up. Opened up into brilliance. Into the fire of fighting to win, burning away the numb weight of too many opponents giving up, disappearing, leaving him alone on a cold court. Now he felt the heat again, now he could fight with everything in him, push himself past his limits and feel the wildness of fire, not just of rage.

When that fire burned as high as it could go and that still wasn’t enough, the shock was like glass breaking all around him. Smoked glass, and now he was squinting in sunlight. He felt like he could see again, and what he saw was Tetsu. The reason he had lost. Tetsu… and his partner, who trusted each other so much they burned like the sun.

Their assurance that it wasn’t over yet was warmth to go with the light, another shock but a different kind—not just unexpected but impossible, like landing softly after a long, long fall. Such a long fall he’d long since given himself up for dead, let himself die before he even got to the bottom. Well, here was the bottom, and thanks to those two he’d bounced. The hope he’d first felt a flicker of at the start of the year, even if he hadn’t been able to name it then, and the pain of losing that he’d never expected to feel again both itched at him after that, prodding him to repay them.

Which was, he told himself, why he agreed to coach Tetsu’s shooting. Why he didn’t want Tetsu to lose. Why it stirred something sharp in him, when he wondered whether Akashi had deliberately reduced Tetsu’s strength.

Quarter-finals, at least, he could blame on Satsuki. He had less excuse for cold-cocking that idiot Shougo, after, but at least Shougo was the only one who actually heard his reasons. And it was clearly Satsuki’s fault that he wound up bringing Kagami shoes for the semi-finals. But he couldn’t really pretend that his brief match with Kagami, then, was anything other than a deliberate teaching game; not under the calm knowing of Tetsu’s eyes, and his tiny smile. Still, he knew he owed them, and it was easy enough to tell himself that was why.

He didn’t really break until the final match. Watching them on the court, the way they held each other up and drove each other forward, he knew that he wanted to touch that again. Wanted to taste that kind of trust again. Wanted the light that his shadow brought with him. That was why he laughed, no matter how strange a look Satsuki gave him. It was Tetsu’s victory, all right, complete and inescapable.

When the match ended, maybe he’d find Tetsu and tell him so.

End

A/N: In hanakotoba, chrysanthemum indicate truth (saving gold chrysanthemum, which are the crest of the imperial family). In Chinese traditional medicine, chrysanthemum is also used for clarifying vision or reducing eye-strain.